[fanfiction] There's a good reason . . .
It's like a birthday present to myself!
Fandom/Pairings: Bandom; Pete/Patrick, Gabe/Patrick
Rating: PG-13 for loads of swearing and implied sexings!
Pre-Notes: It's possible that you should read teh_slush's fics A Little Less Straight Line, A Little More Timey-Wimey and Daleks! At the Disco to understand this. The short version: Pete Wentz is a Time Lord, only instead of hopping through time he hops through music videos.
Summary: The Tardis has a mind of its own and Patrick is so fucking over the whole Time Lord thing.
----
There's a good reason I'm in your video, honey.
You just haven't figured it out yet.
Pete is approximately twelve kinds of douchebag. Seriously, Patrick is having a hard time comprehending how much of a douchebag Pete is because he's stuck in the middle of the fucking desert working at some fucking bar called "Fat Pussy" or someshit in a fucking bunny suit. Patrick is going to murder Pete the next time he sees him. With a rusty pole right to his two hearts.
He would just hand him over to the Daleks, but they're all stoners stuck on a moon that take care of a kitten so that would be kind of pointless. They'd probably just get Pete high and then he'd forget Patrick in even worse places. Maybe Patrick can get his hands on one of those pies that kill people. Then he'd have the satisfaction of throwing something at Pete and killing him. Whatever, the specifics of how Pete was going to die were unimportant. The important thing was that Pete was going to be so dead the next time Patrick saw him. So. Fucking. Dead.
----
Gabe's car was broken. Like, the kind of broken with smoke and nasty smells and really awful noises-which would be pretty okay if he had any money to repair it with. The money thing was always the problem, it seemed, but at least there was a bar not too far away and he could hopefully win some money there.
There's some weird mariachi band outside in ponchos, which Gabe thinks is ridiculous because it has to be at least a hundred degrees out and no one should wear a poncho in that kind of heat but whatever. He's not here to bitch about fashion, he's hear to hopefully win some goddamn money. A quick look at the sign tells him that the place is called "The Fat Pussy Cat" and that it's just about the sleaziest thing imaginable. Luckily, Gabe doesn't actually care about that. He pushes open the door and goes in.
----
Because this is just his fucking luck, not a week after Patrick starts working in the shithole bar, a guy comes in and starts winning money up the wazoo by playing poker and betting on mud wrestling or whatever the fuck it is. Patrick honestly doesn't want to know, because he tries very hard not to get involved in that half of the business. Except, of course, the guy gets totally fucking trashed and sees Patrick so Patrick has to do his job. If he loses this job, he'll have to find another and there's really no telling when Pete will get the Tardis to actually obey him so he can come get Patrick. The Tardis has a mind of its own and Patrick is so fucking over the whole Time Lord thing.
So whatever. He's having sex with a dude but it's okay because he's in a bunny suit and honestly? He gave up on trying to make sense of the logic applicable in the worlds Pete got them lost in because it fucking made his head hurt. There were pies that killed people and vampires and monkeys and mirror doubles and it was all just too much for his poor, poor brain to handle sometimes. Sex with a guy while wearing a bunny suit was pretty much par for the course or something.
----
The awesome thing about winning money is that money buys you alcohol. The awesome thing about alcohol is that alcohol makes you drunk-and Gabe is very very drunk at the moment. He's wandering around back where all the hookers are while he waits for his car to get fixed and that's when he sees her.
Just for the record, Gabe isn't a fucking furry. The bunny is just really really pretty when he's drunk. Actually, she's pretty when he's sober too, which is why he tells her that he's going to take her away and give her the world. She seems skeptical for a minute or two before Gabe kisses away all her fears and then they're climbing into his newly-fixed car and driving away.
----
Against Patrick's better judgment, he followed the guy out of the shitty bar and into the rest of the particular world he happened to be in. It was kind of an awesome world, if he did say so himself. And hey, he learned that the guy's name was Gabe and that he was a pretty awesome dude.
They wander for a while, Gabe taking him to parks and them being total dorks together, before Gabe finally takes him home-to meet the parents-and then they're getting married. If you had told Patrick, before he met Pete, that one day he'd be getting married to a guy while wearing a bunny suit and having little bunny babies (again, Patrick didn't even try to understand that one), he would have politely asked you what the fuck you were smoking because dude? Shit like that did not happen.
----
Married life is pretty okay. They live in a trailer and have way too many kids, but Gabe can handle that. He loves his wife and everything is pretty sweet-he's even got a band and their song is popular enough to be played on the radio, which is pretty damn cool.
Still, Gabe misses being able to just hang out with his wife and be a goofball. Having fifteen kids does that to a man, and they have pretty much zero free time until the kids are a little bit older and he manages to get one of his bandmates to watch them for a couple hours while he takes his wife out for a picnic.
----
Patrick is having a lovely time on a picnic with Gabe when he sees a fucking blue police box shimmer into place not too far from where they're sitting. Without thinking too much, Patrick pulls off the head of his costume and ignores Gabe's horrified look (and subsequent running away) in favor of glaring at Pete as he stumbles out of the Tardis. Pete sees Patrick and grins his stupid lopsided grin and Patrick just glares some more because he's still mad at Pete.
“You fucking jackass! I've been stuck in this place for a whole video cycle-I had time to get married.”
“It's nice to see you again too, Patrick. What's with the bunny suit?”
“I don't want to talk about it, shut up and get me out of here.”
“Your wish is my command, Trickster.”
----
Postit-Notes: Ahahahaha. I don't even know, okay? For reference: Church of Hot Addiction video, Send My Love To The Dancefloor, I'll See You In Hell (Hey Mister DJ) video.
Fandom/Pairings: Bandom; Pete/Patrick, Gabe/Patrick
Rating: PG-13 for loads of swearing and implied sexings!
Pre-Notes: It's possible that you should read teh_slush's fics A Little Less Straight Line, A Little More Timey-Wimey and Daleks! At the Disco to understand this. The short version: Pete Wentz is a Time Lord, only instead of hopping through time he hops through music videos.
Summary: The Tardis has a mind of its own and Patrick is so fucking over the whole Time Lord thing.
----
There's a good reason I'm in your video, honey.
You just haven't figured it out yet.
Pete is approximately twelve kinds of douchebag. Seriously, Patrick is having a hard time comprehending how much of a douchebag Pete is because he's stuck in the middle of the fucking desert working at some fucking bar called "Fat Pussy" or someshit in a fucking bunny suit. Patrick is going to murder Pete the next time he sees him. With a rusty pole right to his two hearts.
He would just hand him over to the Daleks, but they're all stoners stuck on a moon that take care of a kitten so that would be kind of pointless. They'd probably just get Pete high and then he'd forget Patrick in even worse places. Maybe Patrick can get his hands on one of those pies that kill people. Then he'd have the satisfaction of throwing something at Pete and killing him. Whatever, the specifics of how Pete was going to die were unimportant. The important thing was that Pete was going to be so dead the next time Patrick saw him. So. Fucking. Dead.
----
Gabe's car was broken. Like, the kind of broken with smoke and nasty smells and really awful noises-which would be pretty okay if he had any money to repair it with. The money thing was always the problem, it seemed, but at least there was a bar not too far away and he could hopefully win some money there.
There's some weird mariachi band outside in ponchos, which Gabe thinks is ridiculous because it has to be at least a hundred degrees out and no one should wear a poncho in that kind of heat but whatever. He's not here to bitch about fashion, he's hear to hopefully win some goddamn money. A quick look at the sign tells him that the place is called "The Fat Pussy Cat" and that it's just about the sleaziest thing imaginable. Luckily, Gabe doesn't actually care about that. He pushes open the door and goes in.
----
Because this is just his fucking luck, not a week after Patrick starts working in the shithole bar, a guy comes in and starts winning money up the wazoo by playing poker and betting on mud wrestling or whatever the fuck it is. Patrick honestly doesn't want to know, because he tries very hard not to get involved in that half of the business. Except, of course, the guy gets totally fucking trashed and sees Patrick so Patrick has to do his job. If he loses this job, he'll have to find another and there's really no telling when Pete will get the Tardis to actually obey him so he can come get Patrick. The Tardis has a mind of its own and Patrick is so fucking over the whole Time Lord thing.
So whatever. He's having sex with a dude but it's okay because he's in a bunny suit and honestly? He gave up on trying to make sense of the logic applicable in the worlds Pete got them lost in because it fucking made his head hurt. There were pies that killed people and vampires and monkeys and mirror doubles and it was all just too much for his poor, poor brain to handle sometimes. Sex with a guy while wearing a bunny suit was pretty much par for the course or something.
----
The awesome thing about winning money is that money buys you alcohol. The awesome thing about alcohol is that alcohol makes you drunk-and Gabe is very very drunk at the moment. He's wandering around back where all the hookers are while he waits for his car to get fixed and that's when he sees her.
Just for the record, Gabe isn't a fucking furry. The bunny is just really really pretty when he's drunk. Actually, she's pretty when he's sober too, which is why he tells her that he's going to take her away and give her the world. She seems skeptical for a minute or two before Gabe kisses away all her fears and then they're climbing into his newly-fixed car and driving away.
----
Against Patrick's better judgment, he followed the guy out of the shitty bar and into the rest of the particular world he happened to be in. It was kind of an awesome world, if he did say so himself. And hey, he learned that the guy's name was Gabe and that he was a pretty awesome dude.
They wander for a while, Gabe taking him to parks and them being total dorks together, before Gabe finally takes him home-to meet the parents-and then they're getting married. If you had told Patrick, before he met Pete, that one day he'd be getting married to a guy while wearing a bunny suit and having little bunny babies (again, Patrick didn't even try to understand that one), he would have politely asked you what the fuck you were smoking because dude? Shit like that did not happen.
----
Married life is pretty okay. They live in a trailer and have way too many kids, but Gabe can handle that. He loves his wife and everything is pretty sweet-he's even got a band and their song is popular enough to be played on the radio, which is pretty damn cool.
Still, Gabe misses being able to just hang out with his wife and be a goofball. Having fifteen kids does that to a man, and they have pretty much zero free time until the kids are a little bit older and he manages to get one of his bandmates to watch them for a couple hours while he takes his wife out for a picnic.
----
Patrick is having a lovely time on a picnic with Gabe when he sees a fucking blue police box shimmer into place not too far from where they're sitting. Without thinking too much, Patrick pulls off the head of his costume and ignores Gabe's horrified look (and subsequent running away) in favor of glaring at Pete as he stumbles out of the Tardis. Pete sees Patrick and grins his stupid lopsided grin and Patrick just glares some more because he's still mad at Pete.
“You fucking jackass! I've been stuck in this place for a whole video cycle-I had time to get married.”
“It's nice to see you again too, Patrick. What's with the bunny suit?”
“I don't want to talk about it, shut up and get me out of here.”
“Your wish is my command, Trickster.”
----
Postit-Notes: Ahahahaha. I don't even know, okay? For reference: Church of Hot Addiction video, Send My Love To The Dancefloor, I'll See You In Hell (Hey Mister DJ) video.