[fanfiction] human/cyborg relations (misc. snippets)
365 Gay Sharks
Day 110, Word Count: 1664
Theme: April; Double Rainbow
This post is part of the 365 Gay Sharks project. If you would like to learn more about this project, click here to read more about it. :D
Original plot outline
Oh come on, self. Did you come up with that plot just so you could write some strange telepathy/technopathy blend? I don't know what's worse: the fact that you're going to write sex with robots or the fact that you're writing a technopath doing it.
WAIT, THE WORST PART IS THAT EDUARDO IS A ROBOT. THAT'S THE WORST PART.
oh god who lets me plot anything, Eduardo is a robot and Mark is a technopath and Facebook is Eduardo. kind of. WHAT HAPPENED WAS THAT MARK CREATED FACEBOOK AND THEN EDUARDO STOLE IT. BY DOWNLOADING IT INTO HIM. I mean, it was at the request of Sean, but y'know. Facebook is now Eduardo and Mark has to get it back and this is less kinky than intended. How do I always end up doing that?
(Facebook, by the way, is a highly sophisticated facial recognition program created for the CIA.)
YOU NEED TO TELL ME TO STOP TWITTER, OTHERWISE THIS IS GOING TO GET VERY COMPLICATED VERY FAST.
But yeah. Mark has to get Facebook back from Eduardo and the easiest way is to just steal it while they're having sex so Mark seduces Wardo. So he steals back Facebook while they're having sex and Sean is furious, but Wardo is now a mopey cyborg-tan because MARK BROKE HIS HEART. Anyway, Mark gives the program back, and then Sean has Eduardo kidnap Mark and Eduardo does, only they have all these ~feelings~, okay? SO MANY FEELINGS. And Sean is like "Give me Facebook! >(" and Mark is like "Never! >(" and Wardo is like "/sadrobots in a corner"
But then Dustin and Chris come and save Mark! They capture Sean and they're about to deactivate Wardo but Mark is like "no! I like him. >(" Wardo is like "You like me? :D?" and Mark is like "I mean. I like your programming." only Wardo sees through it and is like /FLYINGTACKLEHUG
And then they are happy technolovers forever and ever. Or something.
MARK YOU'RE LIKE A FANGBANGER, ONLY WITH CYBORGS NOT VAMPIRES. A TECHNOBANGER.
Offends even computers
Mark resurfaces, staring at the computer in disbelief. He touches his fingers to the screen, frowning in concentration, and Chris glances over from what he's doing.
"Problem?"
Mark starts typing furiously, "It locked me out."
Dustin stops working, "What? A computer can't just lock you out, Mark."
"I may have insulted it on accident," Mark makes a frustrated noise, "It may be mad at me."
"Only you," Dustin shakes his head, "Only you could make a computer hate you, Mark."
angry!fail!wardosexings
It's stupid. On some level, Eduardo knows that it's stupid to be angry at someone who basically saves you from certain death, pays for you to go to college, and lets you live in their house. It's just that Mark is so completely infuriating and his house is infuriating and his nonrespose to Eduardo's sexual advances is infuriating and his inability to let Eduardo do anything for himself is infuriating. He's twenty-one years old, not fucking eight, and he knows how to eat on a regular schedule. Mark, of all people, trying to call out someone for not taking care of themselves is the stupidest thing.
So Eduardo goes out dancing because he can and that's something Mark can't take away from him. He's attractive, he can find someone interested in him. Fuck Mark and Mark's house that doesn't listen, Eduardo doesn't need them, okay? He doesn't.
Which is why when a cute girl starts flirting, Eduardo takes her up on the offer. The problem is this: Eduardo fucks her and it's just not the same. He wants Mark's long fingers curling around his hips, the feeling of being one singular body if only for a fleeting moment, Mark's body arching up to meet his, the sensation of someone knowing everything you like. He wants the smooth, unblemished lines of Mark's body, the brush of curls against his fingers. He wants Mark Mark Mark and only Mark.
He wonders if Mark knew this would happen, wonders if Mark understands the power he has, and figures that Mark probably does. The bastard.
Harassing the coffeemaker
"Coffeemaker says you have to stop smacking the button multiple times when it doesn't make coffee fast enough."
Mark rolls his eyes, "Then it should make coffee faster."
"It can only make coffee so fast, Mark."
"I still don't understand why it likes you better."
Eduardo raises an eyebrow, "Really? It's pretty simple: I don't poke it going 'coffeeeeeee' when I've just woken up after all-nighters."
He has a point, Mark knows, but personally Mark thinks the coffeemaker just has a crush on Eduardo. And maybe Mark is jealous of a coffeemaker because every morning Eduardo makes these tiny, pleased noises all through his first cup of coffee, like he can't help himself, and seriously? When did this become Mark's life? He's jealous of a coffeemaker. Mark glances over to the coffeemaker and it says it's not my fault you're too scared to make a move and Mark just glares at it. He needs a new, less traitorous coffeemaker.
(He won't get one because Mark never replaces his electronics, just repairs them and coaxes them back to life, but it's still nice to tell the coffeemaker I can replace you and get a huffy string of binary back.)
scenes from a later domestic life
"Mark," Eduardo drops his book bag on the kitchen table, "Mark, the TV is asking me if you want it to record Shark Week."
Mark is standing in the kitchen, fingers resting on the coffeemaker and frowning. He gives a wave of the hand not touching the coffeemaker that probably means yes I do, so Eduardo tells the TV to record it and then walks over to Mark and wraps his arms around Mark's waist, resting his chin on Mark's shoulder. The coffeemaker springs to life and Mark pulls his hand away, resting it over Eduardo's.
"Coffeemaker being finicky again?"
Mark sighs, "It kept telling me it feels sick, but I couldn't find anything wrong with it so I just reprogrammed it. It feels better now."
"I think the coffeemaker just likes being reprogrammed. Feeling sick is just an excuse."
Eduardo sneezes, giving a low and fairly pitiful moan.
"Mark," he whines, "fix it."
Mark holds out a mug of orange juice, "Wardo, I'm a technopath, not a doctor. If you could get spyware from downloading porn or whatever, I could fix it. I can't fix your cold."
Eduardo takes the mug, sipping at it and trying to look as pitiful as possible so Mark will take care of him. Unlikely, seeing as Mark barely takes care of himself, but Eduardo can hope.
"I'm less than half sick. Why do I feel like I'm doubly sick?"
"Because it's more concentrated. Also the fridge says to tell you that there's ice cream."
"I am never going to get used to this place."
They're in the bathroom, Eduardo bent over the toilet and making miserable sounds and Mark sitting on the edge of the bathtub and mostly just making sure that Eduardo didn't die of dehydration or fall into the toilet or anything like that.
"I told you that it was inadvisable to drink that much."
"Stop talking, you're very loud."
Eduardo slumps against the toilet and tries to glare at Mark. It's not very effective, though, and Mark mostly rolls his eyes. Seriously, Eduardo should know better than to drink that much. It only affects the organic part of his body, so his tolerence is lower. Like, a lot lower.
Like, probably had two or three beers and ended up pretty royally smashed lower. Mark slides off the edge of the bathtub and touches his forehead to Eduardo's, the equivalent of a kiss from Mark, before he stands up to go get Eduardo more water.
Eduardo's not entirely sure who changed his relationship status to married to Mark Zuckerberg, but it wasn't him. It wasn't Mark either, if the somewhat stunned response to his text is anything to go off. He gets a text about five minutes after that which only says hacked divya's profile followed by one that says also changed it back followed by another one that says wait was i supposed to ask before changing it back? and then finally: not my fault.
The train of texts is pretty easy to follow until the last one, which Eduardo frowns at until he refreshes his facebook page and sees that his relationship status has been reverted, announcing his marriage to Mark, and there is a very long and very trashy romance novel love letter posted to his wall by Mark. A new message in his inbox from Divya, titled Resistance is futile, pops up and Eduardo laughs.
Sometimes he doesn't understand the intricacies of Divya and Mark's little prank wars.
Chris blinks, "Who are you and what have you done with Mark Zuckerberg?"
"Shut up."
Mark doesn't even look up from what he's doing, instead counting of rows of stitches and marking off ten. Chris watches in complete fascination as Mark starts knitting again and then shakes his head. It's cute that Mark's knitting, but it's not actually conducive to work.
"Get back to work."
Mark rolls his eyes, "I am working. The computer told me to stop bothering it while it ran a Facebook search."
There isn't actually anything that Chris can say to that, so he just lets Mark get back to knitting . . . Whatever it was he was working on. It kind of looked like a hat, but Chris wasn't sure and he didn't even want to know why Mark was knitting it. He didn't know why Mark felt the need to take up knitting as a way to pass the time either, but Chris had long since learned to just let Mark do whatever he felt like unless it was actually detrimental to his work and/or his well-being.
This entry originally posted here. Original entry currently has
comments. :D
Day 110, Word Count: 1664
Theme: April; Double Rainbow
This post is part of the 365 Gay Sharks project. If you would like to learn more about this project, click here to read more about it. :D
Original plot outline
Oh come on, self. Did you come up with that plot just so you could write some strange telepathy/technopathy blend? I don't know what's worse: the fact that you're going to write sex with robots or the fact that you're writing a technopath doing it.
WAIT, THE WORST PART IS THAT EDUARDO IS A ROBOT. THAT'S THE WORST PART.
oh god who lets me plot anything, Eduardo is a robot and Mark is a technopath and Facebook is Eduardo. kind of. WHAT HAPPENED WAS THAT MARK CREATED FACEBOOK AND THEN EDUARDO STOLE IT. BY DOWNLOADING IT INTO HIM. I mean, it was at the request of Sean, but y'know. Facebook is now Eduardo and Mark has to get it back and this is less kinky than intended. How do I always end up doing that?
(Facebook, by the way, is a highly sophisticated facial recognition program created for the CIA.)
YOU NEED TO TELL ME TO STOP TWITTER, OTHERWISE THIS IS GOING TO GET VERY COMPLICATED VERY FAST.
But yeah. Mark has to get Facebook back from Eduardo and the easiest way is to just steal it while they're having sex so Mark seduces Wardo. So he steals back Facebook while they're having sex and Sean is furious, but Wardo is now a mopey cyborg-tan because MARK BROKE HIS HEART. Anyway, Mark gives the program back, and then Sean has Eduardo kidnap Mark and Eduardo does, only they have all these ~feelings~, okay? SO MANY FEELINGS. And Sean is like "Give me Facebook! >(" and Mark is like "Never! >(" and Wardo is like "/sadrobots in a corner"
But then Dustin and Chris come and save Mark! They capture Sean and they're about to deactivate Wardo but Mark is like "no! I like him. >(" Wardo is like "You like me? :D?" and Mark is like "I mean. I like your programming." only Wardo sees through it and is like /FLYINGTACKLEHUG
And then they are happy technolovers forever and ever. Or something.
MARK YOU'RE LIKE A FANGBANGER, ONLY WITH CYBORGS NOT VAMPIRES. A TECHNOBANGER.
Offends even computers
Mark resurfaces, staring at the computer in disbelief. He touches his fingers to the screen, frowning in concentration, and Chris glances over from what he's doing.
"Problem?"
Mark starts typing furiously, "It locked me out."
Dustin stops working, "What? A computer can't just lock you out, Mark."
"I may have insulted it on accident," Mark makes a frustrated noise, "It may be mad at me."
"Only you," Dustin shakes his head, "Only you could make a computer hate you, Mark."
angry!fail!wardosexings
It's stupid. On some level, Eduardo knows that it's stupid to be angry at someone who basically saves you from certain death, pays for you to go to college, and lets you live in their house. It's just that Mark is so completely infuriating and his house is infuriating and his nonrespose to Eduardo's sexual advances is infuriating and his inability to let Eduardo do anything for himself is infuriating. He's twenty-one years old, not fucking eight, and he knows how to eat on a regular schedule. Mark, of all people, trying to call out someone for not taking care of themselves is the stupidest thing.
So Eduardo goes out dancing because he can and that's something Mark can't take away from him. He's attractive, he can find someone interested in him. Fuck Mark and Mark's house that doesn't listen, Eduardo doesn't need them, okay? He doesn't.
Which is why when a cute girl starts flirting, Eduardo takes her up on the offer. The problem is this: Eduardo fucks her and it's just not the same. He wants Mark's long fingers curling around his hips, the feeling of being one singular body if only for a fleeting moment, Mark's body arching up to meet his, the sensation of someone knowing everything you like. He wants the smooth, unblemished lines of Mark's body, the brush of curls against his fingers. He wants Mark Mark Mark and only Mark.
He wonders if Mark knew this would happen, wonders if Mark understands the power he has, and figures that Mark probably does. The bastard.
Harassing the coffeemaker
"Coffeemaker says you have to stop smacking the button multiple times when it doesn't make coffee fast enough."
Mark rolls his eyes, "Then it should make coffee faster."
"It can only make coffee so fast, Mark."
"I still don't understand why it likes you better."
Eduardo raises an eyebrow, "Really? It's pretty simple: I don't poke it going 'coffeeeeeee' when I've just woken up after all-nighters."
He has a point, Mark knows, but personally Mark thinks the coffeemaker just has a crush on Eduardo. And maybe Mark is jealous of a coffeemaker because every morning Eduardo makes these tiny, pleased noises all through his first cup of coffee, like he can't help himself, and seriously? When did this become Mark's life? He's jealous of a coffeemaker. Mark glances over to the coffeemaker and it says it's not my fault you're too scared to make a move and Mark just glares at it. He needs a new, less traitorous coffeemaker.
(He won't get one because Mark never replaces his electronics, just repairs them and coaxes them back to life, but it's still nice to tell the coffeemaker I can replace you and get a huffy string of binary back.)
scenes from a later domestic life
"Mark," Eduardo drops his book bag on the kitchen table, "Mark, the TV is asking me if you want it to record Shark Week."
Mark is standing in the kitchen, fingers resting on the coffeemaker and frowning. He gives a wave of the hand not touching the coffeemaker that probably means yes I do, so Eduardo tells the TV to record it and then walks over to Mark and wraps his arms around Mark's waist, resting his chin on Mark's shoulder. The coffeemaker springs to life and Mark pulls his hand away, resting it over Eduardo's.
"Coffeemaker being finicky again?"
Mark sighs, "It kept telling me it feels sick, but I couldn't find anything wrong with it so I just reprogrammed it. It feels better now."
"I think the coffeemaker just likes being reprogrammed. Feeling sick is just an excuse."
Eduardo sneezes, giving a low and fairly pitiful moan.
"Mark," he whines, "fix it."
Mark holds out a mug of orange juice, "Wardo, I'm a technopath, not a doctor. If you could get spyware from downloading porn or whatever, I could fix it. I can't fix your cold."
Eduardo takes the mug, sipping at it and trying to look as pitiful as possible so Mark will take care of him. Unlikely, seeing as Mark barely takes care of himself, but Eduardo can hope.
"I'm less than half sick. Why do I feel like I'm doubly sick?"
"Because it's more concentrated. Also the fridge says to tell you that there's ice cream."
"I am never going to get used to this place."
They're in the bathroom, Eduardo bent over the toilet and making miserable sounds and Mark sitting on the edge of the bathtub and mostly just making sure that Eduardo didn't die of dehydration or fall into the toilet or anything like that.
"I told you that it was inadvisable to drink that much."
"Stop talking, you're very loud."
Eduardo slumps against the toilet and tries to glare at Mark. It's not very effective, though, and Mark mostly rolls his eyes. Seriously, Eduardo should know better than to drink that much. It only affects the organic part of his body, so his tolerence is lower. Like, a lot lower.
Like, probably had two or three beers and ended up pretty royally smashed lower. Mark slides off the edge of the bathtub and touches his forehead to Eduardo's, the equivalent of a kiss from Mark, before he stands up to go get Eduardo more water.
Eduardo's not entirely sure who changed his relationship status to married to Mark Zuckerberg, but it wasn't him. It wasn't Mark either, if the somewhat stunned response to his text is anything to go off. He gets a text about five minutes after that which only says hacked divya's profile followed by one that says also changed it back followed by another one that says wait was i supposed to ask before changing it back? and then finally: not my fault.
The train of texts is pretty easy to follow until the last one, which Eduardo frowns at until he refreshes his facebook page and sees that his relationship status has been reverted, announcing his marriage to Mark, and there is a very long and very trashy romance novel love letter posted to his wall by Mark. A new message in his inbox from Divya, titled Resistance is futile, pops up and Eduardo laughs.
Sometimes he doesn't understand the intricacies of Divya and Mark's little prank wars.
Chris blinks, "Who are you and what have you done with Mark Zuckerberg?"
"Shut up."
Mark doesn't even look up from what he's doing, instead counting of rows of stitches and marking off ten. Chris watches in complete fascination as Mark starts knitting again and then shakes his head. It's cute that Mark's knitting, but it's not actually conducive to work.
"Get back to work."
Mark rolls his eyes, "I am working. The computer told me to stop bothering it while it ran a Facebook search."
There isn't actually anything that Chris can say to that, so he just lets Mark get back to knitting . . . Whatever it was he was working on. It kind of looked like a hat, but Chris wasn't sure and he didn't even want to know why Mark was knitting it. He didn't know why Mark felt the need to take up knitting as a way to pass the time either, but Chris had long since learned to just let Mark do whatever he felt like unless it was actually detrimental to his work and/or his well-being.
This entry originally posted here. Original entry currently has
comments. :D