Gift fic for beltenebra!
Gift fic for beltenebra
From kis_my_fic2
Title: Impossible Things
Pairings/Characters: Miyata/Tamamori, slight Nikaido/Senga
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: AU - Tamamori's had a hard life. Things start looking up when he gets accepted to be a firefighter along with his best friend from university, Senga. His parents' unhappiness at his attraction to other men leads Tamamori to keep everyone he meets at arms' length, but one of his new co-workers tries his best to persuade Tamamori that there is more to life than simply being 'content'.
Notes: This thing would not end. I even started plotting for a sequel when I started getting close to 7000 words. Total length? 7774 words. I know some things might not be factually accurate, but I claim Artistic License for anything I might have gotten wrong about Japanese firemen. Enjoy~
Tamamori could think of a dozen different places he would rather be than at the doctor's office, knowing he was going to be poked, prodded and then asked to pee into a cup. He was not happy about any of the above, but he knew it was necessary. He had just passed all the fireman training requirements and got accepted to his first job, provided he pass the upcoming tests. So, he bore all the horrible (and at times embarrassing) tests finally, while somehow managing not to grimace, he took the specimen cup and dutifully... did his thing.
Senga had been waiting for him, having also gone through the same ordeal. They had met during their firemen classes at university and became close friends. They had moved into an apartment together shortly after and applied to work at the same station as soon as they had passed their last test. "I see you made it out in one piece."
Tamamori rubbed the arm they'd taken a blood sample from. "I hate needles."
"No kidding. You're really pale. Are you feeling light headed?"
Tamamori shook his head. "I just need some food. Didn't we pass a ramen shop on the way here?"
After lunch, they headed back to the apartment. There wasn't much to do besides wait the couple days it would take to process everything. They still had a meeting with the fire chief tomorrow, which Tamamori was still nervous about. Senga, however, was radiating enough confidence for the both of them. Tamamori flopped on the couch and closed his eyes.
"Too much trauma today, Tama-chan? However are you going to make it as a firefighter?"
Tamamori opened an eye to glare at Senga. "They won't poke me with needles while I'm working." He felt weight on his legs and closed his eyes again in exasperation. There was just no helping Senga. "There's plenty of other places for you to sit. You know that, right?"
"But there's only one Tama-chan."
"Be thankful I like you."
-------
The next day, they both took the train to the fire station. Tamamori didn't even notice how tightly his hands were clenched until Senga covered his fist with one of his own hands. "Relax, Tama-chan. We've already got the job, we're just going to meet our boss."
"What if... he finds out?"
Senga squeezed his hand in comfort. He knew Tamamori's fear; he shared the same secret, though he didn't let it hold him back. "Tama-chan, nowhere in the job requirements did it say you have to like girls. Who knows, maybe the chief has a thing for men, too."
Tamamori rolled his eyes. "You wish."
Senga grinned. "I do, actually."
Tamamori smiled back and squeezed Senga's hand, some of his tension subsiding. "Thanks." He sat back and tried to relax for the rest of the trip.
When their stop was announced, Senga yanked Tamamori up by his hand. "Show time!"
The fire station wasn't too far from the train station, so it didn't take them long to walk there. They went inside and were greeted by the receptionist. "What can I do for you gentlemen?"
"We're here to see Fire Chief Kitayama. We're new hires, and we have a meeting at eleven. I'm Senga Kento and this is Tamamori Yuta."
Tamamori bowed slightly and kept looking around. There were pictures decorating the walls and awards for various inter-fire department competitions.
"Oh, it's the newbies!"
Both turned to see the direction the voice came from. A man, around their age, grinning widely with what Tamamori could only describe as bunny teeth.
"I'm Senga Kento."
"Tamamori Yuta." Both bowed politely and looked back up to see the man who greeted them grin even wider.
"Nikaido Takashi at your service. You're here to see Kitamitsu?"
Tamamori and Senga looked at each other. Did they get the Fire Chief's name wrong? "Kitamitsu?" Senga asked.
"Kitayama Hiromitsu. Kitamitsu." Nikaido turned to their receptionist. "Who is he with now?"
"Last person I saw go that way was Fujigaya-san."
Nikaido laughed and all of a sudden, Tamamori got chills down his back. "Perfect, you get to meet both at once. Follow me."
Tamamori and Senga shared another look, but followed after Nikaido. Without knocking, Nikaido opened the door with the Fire Chief's name on it. "Kitamitsu, we've got our newbies here."
"What the hell, Nika?! Haven't you ever heard of knocking first?"
Tamamori peered in and immediately felt his cheeks go red. Sitting on the desk, was a topless man with fluffy brown hair and another, shorter man standing between the other's legs. When he seemed to realize he had visitors he jumped away from the guy on the desk and glared daggers at Nikaido. Senga shook Tamamori's arm. "What was it that I was telling you on the train?"
Tamamori managed to hold back his laugh and break his gaze away from the short man and back to the man on the desk who was now pulling on his shirt. It didn't take a genius to figure out what they had interrupted.
"Boss, this is Tamamori and Senga, our newcomers." The way Nikaido said 'boss' gave Tamamori the feeling he didn't feel that way at all. "Guys, the shorty is Kitayama Hiromitsu-"
"How about I give you a short life?"
"-and the boy toy is Fujigaya Daisuke," Nikaido continued as if he hadn't been interrupted.
"Taisuke, you ass."
Nikaido turned back to Tamamori and Senga. "Note how he didn't deny the boy toy part." Senga snickered and Tamamori jabbed him lightly in the side. "I leave you two in their capable hands." He gave a mock salute and exited.
Tamamori and Senga looked back to the other two. Both were now composed and Fujigaya was no longer sitting on the desk, but standing next to Kitayama. "As Nika-chan mentioned, I'm Fire Chief Kitayama Hiromitsu and this is Deputy Chief Fujigaya Taisuke. Nikaido is one of our Fire Lieutenants, a promotion I'm starting to regret." He grabbed a folder from his desk and opened it. After a moment studying the papers, he looked back up at the two. "Sorry about earlier, hope it didn't do either of you any permanent damage."
Senga shook his head and Tamamori did the same, still a bit zoned out from what he had witnessed. "It doesn't bother us."
"Good. We're a bit relaxed here when it comes to free time and most of us are pretty open."
"Open?" Tamamori asked.
"He means most of us have stepped out of the closet," Fujigaya clarified. "I hope that's not an issue." There was a bit of a challenge in his voice.
"We're pretty much a large family around here. Nicknames, joking around, practical jokes. It helps in tough situations." Kitayama sat in his chair and looked back through the papers. "So, pending the all-clear from your drugs tests, this will be your schedule." He handed them both some papers. "Have a look over it as soon as you can. There are also some papers for you to fill out and bring back with you on your starting date. We have dorms here, of course, and a kitchen and public showers."
"I recommend you buy a luffa and liquid soap. Our showers aren't bar soap friendly," Fujigaya added with a smirk and then winced when Kitayama none-too-subtly kicked his shin.
"You will both be training under two of our Fire Lieutenants. Senga, you will be with Nikaido; Tamamori, you will be with Miyata Toshiya. You've already met Nikaido and if you want to hang around for about thirty more minutes, Miyacchi will be starting his shift. In the meantime, you guys are free to look around or ask questions. I'll have our receptionist give you visitor passes. Any questions for Fujigaya or me?"
They shook their heads.
"We're a pretty quiet station, not a whole lot of fires or emergencies, so we have a lot of downtime. If that's it, you guys are free to go."
They both bowed and made their exit. "Did that just happen?" Tamamori asked.
"Yep. Our boss is awesome!"
Tamamori laughed. "I kind of want to hang around and meet Miyata-san. Do you mind?"
Senga shook his head. "I actually wanted to catch up with Nikaido-san. He seems like the life of the party around here."
They collected their visitor passes and got directions to the downtime room, hoping they would run into Nikaido there - which they did. He was sitting cross legged on the floor with another person, fighting via a console game. A third person was stretched out on the couch, watching the game on-screen, while both Nikaido and the person he was playing against laughingly hurled verbal abuse at each other.
"Oh! Which game is that? Is that the one that just came out?" Senga broke their shouting match. Neither of the two players on the floor looked up, but the one lying on the couch tilted his head slightly to see them.
"Yeah and I'm about to hand Miyacchi his ass," Nikaido said with a furiously rapid mash of buttons on his controller. And sure enough, the game declared him the victor. "All right!"
The other, Miyacchi, or most likely Miyata, threw down his controller. "This is the first time I got to play it, Nika-chan. I even came in early for this. Couldn't you have messed around a bit while I got used to the new combos?"
"Excuses, excuses." Nikaido stood up. "So, did you guys get your assigned partners yet?"
Tamamori nodded and looked down at Miyata and then back to Nikaido. "Kitayama-san told me I was with Miyata-san and Senga is with Nikaido-san."
The three boys burst out laughing. The one of the couch stood up and walked over to them. "I'm Fire Sergeant Yokoo Wataru, better known as Wakkun. And, please, drop the formalities. I'm sure Kitamitsu has given you the family talk. And some of us, Nika-chan in particular, don't exactly live up to the respect that goes along with the formal addressing."
"Hey!"
Yokoo ignored him. "Miyacchi, I know you're somewhat of an otaku, but I'm sure you know how to introduce yourself properly."
Miyata stood and walked to stand next to Yokoo. "I'm Fire Lieutenant Miyata Toshiya, nice to meet you." He had a huge grin on his face and his eyes crinkled up, making his brown eyes almost hidden.
Tamamori and Senga both bowed and introduced themselves again. Tamamori felt a bit shy under all the attention, but he thought he did fairly well. He looked at Miyata and saw that he was staring at him. He quickly looked away, pretending to be paying attention to the other's conversation.
"Tama-chan, huh?" Nikaido commented. "That should work for you."
"Huh?" Because even though he was pretending to pay attention, he was still after all just pretending.
"Your nickname. Kenpi already calls you it, so I figure it would be okay here, too, right?"
"Oh. O-of course. That's fine." Tamamori's eyes darted back to Miyata whose face wore an expression that said he wasn't fooled. He flushed red and went back to not looking at Miyata.
They spent the next hour looking around and following their new coworkers for a tour. It didn't take long, it was a smaller station after all. Yokoo ended up excusing himself during the middle of it because his shift was ending. The remaining four ended up sitting around a large table. "Do you guys live close to here?" Miyata asked.
"It's about a twenty minute train ride for us, so it's not too bad," Senga answered for them.
"Oh? You live together?" Nikaido asked.
Senga nodded. "For the past couple years. We met at college and found out we have a lot in common."
"Oh, you guys are together?" Miyata asked, looking between the two.
Tamamori and Senga emphatically shook their heads. "No way!"
"Not him," Tamamori scrunched up his face in distaste.
Nikaido and Miyata laughed. "It'd be fine if you were. No discrimination around here," Miyata added.
Tamamori caught the look Nikaido sent Senga and smirked. Doubtless Senga would have no problems. Throughout the whole tour, they had been bouncing jokes off each other and chatting like they'd been friends forever, but Tamamori remained quiet. That was one thing Tamamori envied. He wasn't outspoken like Senga was, especially not in front of people he didn't really know. He knew he'd gotten better, but he just never was that person.
"So, Tama-chan, have you thought about moving into this city? It would make the commute easier," Miyata asked.
"We talked about it a bit. We were going to wait until our probation period is over before we started looking." Tamamori couldn't bring himself to meet Miyata's eyes, so instead he watched Nikaido and Senga's animated conversation.
"Is there something wrong?"
"What do you mean?"
Miyata laughed. "Not to sound conceited. I mean, I know I'm not the best looking guy here, but you've been doing a very good job at not looking at me."
Tamamori blushed, caught. He shrugged and risked glancing at Miyata. "I'm not a very outgoing person. I'm not a recluse or anything, I just need to get used to the new scenery."
"Hard to get used to the scenery if you're not looking at it."
Tamamori shot his head around to glare at him.
"Ah, I did it," Miyata said with a wide grin. "You're cute when you blush."
Tamamori wrinkled his nose at being called cute.
"Even cuter." Miyata's eyes were completely gone due to the huge smile on his face.
"Quit saying gross things," Tamamori hissed.
Miyata laughed. "Don't take compliments well, do you? I'll have to make sure to get you to start liking them."
"Please, don't. It's not necessary." Tamamori looked down at his hands. Why was this so hard for him? Now that he was being singled out without Senga it was so much harder to talk to people. Or maybe it was just Miyata? Tamamori wasn't used to this kind of directness.
"Fine, fine. I'm not trying to flatter you are anything." Miyata shrugged his shoulders. "I meant what I said."
"Just stop talking."
"Whatever you want," he sung and rested his chin on his hands, staring right at Tamamori.
Unnerved, Tamamori stood up and grabbed Senga's arm, not caring that he was interrupting their conversation. "I'm hungry, let's go get some lunch."
"Wait, wait. Tama-chan!"
Tamamori finally had him out the door, it was hard to ignore the weird looks the others were giving him as he dragged Senga out.
"What happened, Tama-chan? What's the hurry?"
They were finally outside before Tamamori spoke. "Miyata-san... I dunno. I couldn't talk to him and every time he talked to me... I don't think I can do this, Senga."
Senga looked critically at Tamamori. "Are you really older than me?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Tama-chan, it really does hurt me to be the mature one here. Listen, this is a job. There are going to be people you like and people you don't like. So, get over it."
Tamamori finally let go of Senga's arm. "Let's go get some food."
Senga shook his head. "Fine, my choice though."
-------
"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" Senga asked over their sushi plates.
"With Miyata-san?"
"Mm-hm," Senga said around a mouthful.
Tamamori put his chopsticks down and took a drink of his water. "I don't know. He started talking to me and told me I was cute."
Senga laughed. "And? That was it?" Tamamori nodded. "Wow. You don't like someone because they gave you a compliment. Would you have preferred him to insult you?"
"I would have preferred him to say nothing, actually." Tamamori shoved a roll in his mouth.
"Did you think maybe he's interested in you? Sounds like he was trying to get your attention." Tamamori didn't say anything and just focused on cleaning his plate. "You're not really going to quit over this are you?"
Tamamori looked thoughtful for a moment. He shouldn't feel like he needed to run from this. Like Senga said in one of his brief moments of wisdom, he wasn't going to like everyone. And he really wanted this job and he really wanted to stay by Senga. "No, I'm not. I was just upset."
"Good. It would suck not having you around anymore."
They both ate silently after that. Once their plates were cleared away, Tamamori spoke up. "What about Nikaido-san? You two seemed to be getting along."
Senga nodded. "Yep! He's awesome. And cute. Did you see his smile? Just like a bunny."
Tamamori laughed. "Well, at least we know they don't frown on fraternizing with coworkers."
"Miyacchi is kinda cute, too. You know he was the class clown? But Nika-chan said that he's really smart and just acts funny. You should have asked Miyacchi for the run down on our coworkers, too. You missed a lot of interesting information."
Tamamori shrugged. "Maybe another time. Just don't try making anything between me and Miyata-san, it won't work out."
Senga grinned. "Who said I was going to try anything? I think he's doing fine on his own."
Tamamori groaned. "I'm serious. I'm not looking for a relationship. Friends, fine, but nothing more."
"Fine, fine." Senga leaned back in his chair. "Shall we get going?"
-------
"So, what do you think, Miyacchi?" Nikaido asked flopping down on the couch taking up two of the three spots. "They're both pretty cute."
Miyacchi rolled his eyes. "Figures that would be your first assessment of them."
"Kenpi said I was cute, too. What did you think of Tama-chan? He seems like a space cadet."
Miyata laughed and sat down next to him. "He does. But I think I didn't really help. He wasn't interested."
"In what?"
"Me."
It was Nikaido's turn to laugh. "Really? And you're getting on my case about how I thought they were cute? What did you say?"
"I told him he was cute. He doesn't like being complimented it seems."
"C'mon, Miyacchi. If someone walked up to you out of the blue and said 'hey, you're cute' wouldn't that put you on edge?"
"No because that would never happen. I'm not exactly hot like the rest of you. I've got a huge nose, crinkly eyes and the ability to sweat even on a snowy day. If someone came up to me and said that, I would die happy."
"You're too hard on yourself, Miyacchi. And you know what they say about big noses. Everyone here would be able to back you up on that one." Nikaido shifted himself back to rest his head on Miyata's lap. "Besides I think Tama-chan was just being shy. He was doing everything he could to ignore you, but couldn't in the end. That's a good sign. You might be able to wear him down. But I would get to know him first."
Miyata ran his fingers through Nikaido's hair, finding the action calming, and watched as Nikaido's eyes slid shut. He hummed to himself and thought about Tamamori. He was tall, with somewhat boyish features, and he had eyes of someone more than a kid, but not quite yet an adult. Miyata decided it was Tamamori's eyes that caught his attention. "I should probably apologize next time they're here. I'm supposed to be training him, I don't want it to be awkward."
"Nika-chan."
A voice called out behind them. Miyata turned his head and saw Kitayama and Fujigaya in the entrance. "Hey, the new guys just left."
Kitayama walked until he was in front of them and looked down at Nikaido. "Good, I wouldn't want to make a bad impression on them on their first day visiting or anything."
Nikaido opened up and eye to look up at his boss. "I think you two made a good impression on them actually."
Miyata looked between the two, confused. "Did I miss something?"
"Nika-chan has problems knocking and our new employees got to see a little too much of us," Fujigaya spoke from where he was standing. It dawned on Miyata that he was probably there to block any escape Nikaido might plan.
"Ahh, I see. What happened?"
"Nothing. They just got an early introduction to what usually happens around here. But Nika-chan still needs to learn a lesson."
Nikaido bolted from his spot, nearly elbowing Miyata in the stomach in the process. However, he wasn't expecting Fujigaya to be waiting for him. A moment later Fujigaya and Kitayama had him contained and headed in the direction of the dorms.
Miyata shook his head. He never did understand the relationships around him. He knew they were all unattached and that a casual romp was just that, nothing complex. He rarely participated and sometimes he was glad for that. Causal wasn't his thing and he only had one serious relationship before. Miyata's thoughts flickered back to Tamamori. He would really like to get to know him better.
-------
The week flew by, during which both Tamamori and Senga got the results that they were clear and ready to work. Kitayama had called them that Thursday to congratulate them and remind them that they were to start on Monday. Despite the oddities that happened when they visited, Tamamori was genuinely excited. It was really official now. They both stopped by their part time jobs to officially hand in their resignation and went out for dinner that night, determined to enjoy their last few days before they started their first real job.
They both decided to go for a walk after dinner; the weather nice enough that it wasn't too cold, but cool enough that they walked close together. "I'm still a little bit in shock," Tamamori commented. "I mean, I knew we had the job, it's just... official now, I guess."
Senga nodded. "Same here. It's going to be awesome, Tama-chan! Oh! We still need to finish filling out some of that paperwork."
Between their part time jobs, they had been looking through the papers Kitayama gave them earlier, wanting to go through everything together. "Now that we have no work, it'll be easy."
Most of what they went through was insurance paperwork, work laws and wages. Neither were currently in the right frame of mind to do actual work though, so they strolled through the city, walking nowhere in particular. When they finally made it home, close to midnight, they crashed on the same bed and not long after fell asleep.
The weekend passed quickly, and on the morning of their first day Senga woke up to find Tamamori already in the bathroom. It was an hour and a half before they had to leave and by how far Tamamori was done with his morning routine, he couldn't imagine how he was able to get up so early.
"Morning," he said through an unexpected yawn. Tamamori's response was an incoherent mumble, the hair clips hanging from his mouth not allowing actual words to escape. "I'll make some breakfast while you finish up."
Tamamori nodded in understanding and went back to straightening his hair. From the looks of things, it was probably his second pass. Senga shook his head and started prepping for breakfast. Thirty minutes later, Tamamori walked into their kitchen, dressed, and with flawlessly straight hair. "My turn, I guess. I left yours in the oven."
"Thanks." He walked by Tamamori and mussed his hair. "Hey!"
"Next time, you make breakfast!" Senga called and ran to the bathroom.
On the train ride, Tamamori was still upset about the hair thing. "Really, Tama-chan? You can't always worry about your hair, it's going to get messed up every day." Tamamori kept pouting, though he knew Senga was right. He just wanted to look good on their first day. "Or were you trying to look good for Miyacchi." Tamamori's face darkened and he scowled. "Fine, fine, I'll stop."
If there was one downside, it was that. Tamamori managed to put it out of his mind for the most part, but sometimes the image of Miyata's smiling face sneaked up on him. He also knew Senga wouldn't be able to live up to his agreement to not try anything. Well, Tamamori reasoned, Senga would be too busy with Nikaido to really try anything, so it was fine for now.
They were greeted by Nikaido and Miyata. "Nika-chan!" Senga ran forward to meet them, but Tamamori continued to trail behind. They spent most of the morning together and then split up when Nikaido said he had a meeting with Kitayama; Senga went with him leaving Miyata to finish explaining the supplies order request.
"Hm, we should probably wait for them to get back before we continue. Want to head to the downtime room?"
Tamamori nodded and followed after Miyata. "I'm sorry about the other day."
Miyata stopped and turned back to look at Tamamori. "Huh?"
"I was kind of rude. I now you were just trying to make me feel welcome and I just blew you off. So. Sorry." He bowed his head slightly.
"I guess I should apologize, too. I didn't mean to come onto you like that. You are cute though."
Tamamori laughed and blushed slightly. Miyata laughed with him. "I'll take that for what it's worth." They continued walking and spent some time just talking and getting to know each other better. Even after Nikaido and Senga came back, they still continued. Neither Miyata nor Tamamori noticed the look Nikaido and Senga gave each other.
-------
It didn't take long for Tamamori and Senga to settle into their jobs. As they got to know each everyone, the more often they would wind up going out together on their days off. About a month into their jobs, they moved into their new apartment in the same city as the station. It was bigger which both were grateful for. Settling back into an easier paced routine was nice, too. No commute to worry about and with a steadier income, their new apartment was starting to feel like a true home.
Tamamori even got used to Miyata and his charming ways. It didn't bother him so much anymore and he couldn't deny he liked some of the perks of having Miyata's attention on him. Tamamori would definitely classify them as just friends and Miyata also knew that, but Tamamori still found it nice to find his favorite snack on his bunk when he came in for a night shift or a chore duty being taken off his list. He would reciprocate, too, by buying lunch or doing some mundane task that Miyata was scheduled for.
They spent a lot of time outside of work together, too. Mainly it was with a combination of their other coworkers, but the times Tamamori found himself alone with Miyata, they still had fun. It was always an adventure with Miyata. A new movie, a new restaurant, going to the beach (where Tamamori unsuccessfully attempted to teach Miyata how to surf), or just relaxing at one of their apartments playing a game.
Tamamori never felt guarded around Miyata and even though Miyata would sometimes spout gross, romantic things, he would easily brush them aside and they would go back and continue doing what they were as if it never happened. It was just comfortable with Miyata, and Tamamori was happy.
He also liked Miyata's simplicity. There was no guessing between the two of them. Tamamori knew Miyata liked him, but Tamamori wasn't looking for anything more complicated than a friend. A best friend, even. Miyata was persistent, but it didn't ruin their friendship. They both knew where the line was and while Tamamori never dared get close to it, Miyata kept pushing the border.
But no relationship was perfectly balanced; the one between him and his own parents was a perfect example of that. Tamamori knew he would always love them - they raised him and they were pretty decent people. He knew that at one time they did think of him as their son. They just couldn't understand that, in the end, Tamamori simply wasn't the son they wanted. Tamamori tried to understand it, but gave up hope in his second year of college.
Tamamori wasn't weak. He could hold his own in a one-on-one fight, but against four people was out of the question. The college had contacted his parents because even after the painful split, they were still his parents. But he found out later the real reason why they didn't come to the hospital for his one night stay. After he was discharged from the hospital the next day, the college informed him that his parents had requested they be taken off his emergency contact list. The memory still hurt, but Tamamori did as asked and instead put Senga's parents on the forms. Even his forms for the fire station listed them first for any emergencies, but he had listed his own parents in the event of his death. Maybe they would care then.
"Tama-chan?"
Tamamori was resting on his bunk bed and opened his eyes to see Miyata looking down at him in concern. "Hm?"
Miyata trailed a finger down his cheek and Tamamori noticed that he was wiping away tears. "Want to talk about it?"
Senga was the only one who knew what had happened. It hurt to talk about it and apparently to think about it as well. He rolled over onto his side. "I... don't know if that will help anymore." The bed dipped and Miyata rested an arm around him.
"You like being here right? You're not thinking of leaving?"
Tamamori shook his head. "Nothing like that. Just some stuff that I ended up thinking about. I try not to, but sometimes one thought leads to another."
"Well, if you ever need to talk, you can always talk to me."
Tamamori nodded. "I know. Thanks."
It wasn't until a month later, his older sister called him while he was out with Miyata to let him know their father had got into a car accident. He was only slightly injured. A broken arm and a bruised face due to the airbags. The feeling of abandonment once again rose up, but this time someone was there to help him. Miyata managed to pull him into men's bathroom at the mall they were in and lock the door.
He told Miyata what had happened. It took a while, but he eventually got the details out. Miyata just held him and listened. Once the last tears fell, he washed his face, then thanked and apologized to Miyata.
"We're friends right?" Miyata said. "Talk to me anytime."
Since then, Tamamori felt something had changed between the two of them. But like most other things, he pushed it out of his mind. Everything is fine how it is now, he thought. Nothing needed to change.
-------
The first time Tamamori went to wake Senga up and found he woke both Senga and Nikaido up, his face turned bright scarlet and he quickly backed out of the room, letting them know breakfast would be just a couple more minutes. The second time, he just quietly shut the door again; they were both still asleep. The third time, he threw his apron at Senga's sleeping head and told him to make his own breakfast. Needless to say, Senga started informing Tamamori when Nikaido would be staying over.
Then there was the first night Senga didn't come home from his shift. It was close to midnight and Kitayama had told him Senga left at his normal time. Tamamori sent multiple mails and made multiple calls, but no response. He fell asleep, cellphone still in hand.
"Tama-chan?"
Senga's voice jolted him awake, his cellphone falling out of his hand and to the ground. "Senga?" he asked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.
"Yeah, what're you doing sleeping on the couch? Did you fall asleep watching a movie?"
The previous night came back to him and he remembered that he was very pissed off. "Where the hell were you? I called you a bunch of times and even sent mails that got no response. Kitamitsu said you left the station on time, but you weren't home even at midnight!" Tamamori paused to catch his breath. He saw the playful smile disappear from Senga's face. "Well? I'm not trying to be your mother, but we are friends, right? We live together and you've never not told me when you were going to be out late."
Senga looked away a bit, slightly embarrassed. "I... went to Nika-chan's place. I'm sorry for making you worry." He bowed his head, truly apologetic.
Tamamori's phone rang, cutting into the silence. As Miyata's name flashed up onto the screen, Tamamori also noted it was four in the morning. He looked back up at Senga and smiled slightly. "Get some sleep, you have work in a couple hours." He picked up his dropped phone and answered it as he watched Senga walk to his bedroom. "Miyacchi?"
"Tama-chan? I heard from Kitamitsu you called asking about Kenpi. Are you alright? Is he okay?" Miyata was talking a hundred miles a second.
"He's fine. Stayed over with Nikaido and he just got home."
"Are you okay?" he asked again.
"Yeah. I had a moment when I thought something might have happened. He's my best friend, almost a brother to me. I didn't know if he had got called somewhere else because something bad had happened..." Tamamori leaned back against the couch. "Sorry. Didn't mean to go on about it to you."
"I don't mind, Tama-chan. You're off today right? How about me and you go out and do something? Let Senga fend for himself tonight."
Tamamori laughed. "Okay, that sounds good. I'll meet you at the station?"
"I'll come pick you up. I'm off at six, is that too late?"
"As long as it's before Senga gets home."
They talked for a bit more until he heard Fujigaya's voice tell Miyata to stop talking to his boyfriend and help him put away the equipment that just came in.
Tamamori ended the call and stared at his phone. He wondered if he had just agreed to a date with Miyata. It felt nice and just natural. Miyata seemed really worried at first when he called, worried about him. He gripped his phone tighter and got up to go to sleep in his room this time.
-------
Promptly at six, Tamamori heard his doorbell ring. Which wasn't good because he was still doing his hair. Miyata must have asked to get off a little early. He put his flatiron into its holder and went to let Miyata in. "Sorry, I'm almost done," Tamamori apologized when he let him in.
Noting the clip still in Tamamori's already straight hair, Miyata laughed. "Kenpi wasn't kidding when he said you were obsessive about your hair."
Tamamori didn't know how the subject of his hair came up between Senga and Miyata, but he sensed meddling on Senga's part. "Good to see I'm a topic of gossip. Take a seat, I'll be done in a second." He closed the door after Miyata entered the apartment and went back to the bathroom.
"It's not like you talk about yourself a lot. And the things you did tell me are kind of depressing. I have to get information from someone."
Tamamori turned around, startled that Miyata had followed him. He was finishing up a section and the flatiron was already away from his fingers so there were no burning injuries due to the surprise this time. "Why would you do that? I tell you I'm not interested all the time. I just want to be friends."
"Is that why you agreed to this date? Because we're friends?"
Tamamori's jaw dropped a little. So, it was a date. He hadn't been certain, but he was content thinking he was just imagining things.
"Ah! So you think it's a date, too. Is that why you're still straightening your hair?"
Tamamori ignored the question and picked up the iron the finish his hair. "Why are you so persistent, Miyacchi?"
"Because I think you like me, too."
This time his finger did get too close to the iron and he flinched and put it back down. "Miyacchi," Tamamori started patiently, turning towards him, but wasn't able to finish. Miyata had taken that opportunity to lean in and press his lips to Tamamori's. It was quick and over too fast before Tamamori could pull away by himself.
Miyata gave him a smile, softer than his normal eye-eating grins. "I'll wait for you."
He disappeared from view and Tamamori couldn't help but read a double meaning in his words. He knew it was intentional. He finished his hair quickly, no longer caring too much about perfection. He left the bathroom to give Miyata a piece of his mind, but couldn't find him. He saw the front door was a bit open and heard Miyata's voice from the other side. It sounded like he was talking on the phone, he didn't want to eavesdrop, so he waited on the couch. His lips still felt warm and he knew his cheeks were just as warm and a couple shades darker.
"Sorry, Tama-chan, had a phone call," Miyata announced as he walked back in. "Ready?"
There were so many things Tamamori wanted to say, but he couldn't. He wanted to tell Miyata to leave, but couldn't. He wanted to ask why he had kissed him. He didn't want Miyata to leave and asking why he kissed him would be stupid because he already knew the answer. He also wanted Miyata to kiss him again, but it was a treasonable thought his mind had conjured and he wasn't going to voice it. He stood and quietly walked to the door. "Let's go."
Tamamori didn't bother asking how Miyata knew what his favorite food was since he already knew the answer. So, he just enjoyed dinner and only spoke when he was asked a direct question. So when Miyata apologized, Tamamori had to ask why he was apologizing.
"For everything, I guess. I know it was selfish, but before I decided to give up, I guess I just wanted to have at least one date with you. The kiss... I'm sorry for that, too. I didn't want you to tell me to give up again, so... I just..." he shrugged.
Tamamori felt a lump in his throat. He thought he would be relieved to hear this, but... he wasn't. It was the hardest thing to put into words. "But... you said that you think I like you, too. Why are you giving up?"
Miyata looked surprised, he didn't think Tamamori would ask him that. "It doesn't matter if you don't accept those feelings. I don't know why you pushed me away so hard, but I decided to let you win. Maybe someone else will be more persistent then me and will break you out of that shell."
Tamamori shook his head. All of a sudden, he didn't want to lose Miyata like that. He wanted him to keep calling him cute and to keep saying gross things and to trick him on another date. He just didn't know how to say it. "Miyacchi..."
"It's okay, Tama-chan. I decided this myself. I just wanted to apologize."
Tamamori spent the rest of dinner in silence, wanting to say things he could never get past his lips. Miyata lost some of his enthusiasm and Tamamori could see all the smiles and random conversation were forced.
They were back at his apartment and Tamamori still couldn't find the courage he needed to tell Miyata what he was thinking. So instead, he pulled Miyata close to him and pushed him against his door. He tilted his head down and pressed his lips hard against Miyata's. He didn't let it end as quickly as Miyata had ended their first one. Instead, he pushed his body against Miyata's and swiped his tongue against Miyata's closed lips. The shock must have worn off because Miyata started moving his lips against Tamamori's and pressed his body against him.
Tamamori's hands moved on their own and buried themselves in Miyata's hair. He played with the strands, marveling at how it felt. Miyata's own hands were digging into his waist as if he never wanted to let go. And Tamamori found he could be more honest with himself and wish Miyata never would let go. He finally pulled back when the sensation became too much. "Miyacchi... I..." he whispered.
Miyata waited patiently for him to continue. When a minute passed and Tamamori still hadn't said anything, Miyata managed to move himself away from against the door and smiled. It was a real smile, the one the Tamamori would think about for no real reason. "Thank you," Miyata spoke quietly and left Tamamori at his door.
Feeling stupid and useless, Tamamori entered his apartment. He was surprised to see Senga waiting for him on the couch. "Tama-chan?" he asked, looking a bit concerned.
Tamamori let out a small laugh. "He... he said he's going to stop trying." He leaned heavily against the door. "Why do I feel like he broke up with me instead?"
Senga nodded. "He called me earlier and told me he was going to tell you."
"But why would he? He says he thinks I like him, too. What kind of logic is that?"
Senga gave him a look that said 'why me?' "You have been doing nothing but push him away. Don't you think after a month or so of that he's going to feel hurt? You guys practically were going out, you just never admitted to it."
Tamamori heard the truth in those words. "What should I do?"
"Tell him. You're both working tomorrow right? Find an empty room, kiss him senseless and tell him not to give up because you like him, too."
------
The next day, Tamamori decided he was going to take Senga's advice. He knew Miyata would have already been there for two hours, so he would just have to find a way to get Miyata alone.
However these type of things never work out so easily. As soon as he got to the station, Kitayama was waiting for him. "Tama-chan, I need to talk to you." Tamamori followed him to his office and took a seat. He was handed two pieces of paper. "Read those, please."
The first paper he recognized was a personal vacation request. It was from Miyata. A request for a whole week off starting today. It was dated yesterday.
"Normally that kind of short notice doesn't bother me, but it came in with that other form."
Tamamori looked at the other paper. It was a transfer request form. Miyata wanted to transfer out. He had a sinking feeling he knew why. "Kitamitsu..."
"I'm not blaming you, Tama-chan. I just have a feeling you're somehow related to this. So, I need you to try to fix this. I haven't told anyone and I'm hoping I won't have to."
Tamamori nodded. "I'm sorry. I should have told him sooner."
"Go on, you can take today off."
Tamamori was out of the chair and out of the station. When he made it to Miyata's single apartment he was out of breath and he realized he had kept the papers Kitayama had shown him. He banged his clenched fist against the door. The door swung open and Miyata was stood there, holding a game controller and looking like he just rolled out of bed. "Tama-chan?"
He shoved the papers in Miyata's face. "What the fuck are these, Miyacchi?" Well, that wasn't the first thing he had wanted to say, but the situation had changed slightly. "You were supposed to go to work so I could drag you off somewhere and tell you that you'd better not give up on me--"
"Hold on!" Miyata pulled his arm to get him inside the apartment and tossed the controller on his couch. "Okay, one more time, with fewer people listening."
"This!" Tamamori shook the papers again. "Are you playing a joke or something? It's not funny."
Miyata sighed and placed a hand over Tamamori's fist to lower it out of his face. "No, it's not a joke. I didn't want to make things more awkward for you. It's not like I have any family here, but I would still be able to see everyone else if I transferred to a nearby station. I figured it was best." He paused. "Wait. What were you saying earlier?"
"I said you better not give up on me, idiot! Keep calling me cute when I blush, keep giving me my favorite snacks! I was being stupid, how could I think that I didn't like you back? I'm sorry I didn't realize it until now. I'm spacy and I hold people at arm's length all the time, but somehow you got through to me and I didn't even realize it. So, please, don't leave." Tamamori was running out of steam towards the end and his last sentence came out as a whisper. "I like you, Miyacchi."
Miyata pulled the papers loose from Tamamori's hand and crumpled them up into a ball and tossed them in the direction of the nearest trash can. "For a while I thought I might have been wrong."
"And now?" Tamamori asked.
Miyata pulled Tamamori toward him and into a kiss that shook Tamamori's soul. It was different from the first two kisses they had shared. Both equally trying to dominate the other, Miyata ran his hands over Tamamori's arms and Tamamori found his hands back in Miyata's hair, trying to pull him closer. Miyata pulled back first and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "Now I think you have a lot of time to make up to me."
Tamamori laughed. He would happily do just that. "So, Kitamitsu gave me the day off."
"Well, we can play games." Miyata nodded toward his abandoned controller. "Or I could show you my awesome bedroom."
"Not very subtle, Miyacchi."
"I never really was in the first place, but it turned out all right in the end."
It was too early for declarations of love or lifetime commitments, but Tamamori found it very easy to see himself with Miyata years from now. Maybe even introducing him to his parents one day. He hadn't expected to find someone like Miyata, so maybe it wasn't unreasonable to hope for other impossible things, too.
But for now, just being with Miyata like this was more than okay.
From kis_my_fic2
Title: Impossible Things
Pairings/Characters: Miyata/Tamamori, slight Nikaido/Senga
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: AU - Tamamori's had a hard life. Things start looking up when he gets accepted to be a firefighter along with his best friend from university, Senga. His parents' unhappiness at his attraction to other men leads Tamamori to keep everyone he meets at arms' length, but one of his new co-workers tries his best to persuade Tamamori that there is more to life than simply being 'content'.
Notes: This thing would not end. I even started plotting for a sequel when I started getting close to 7000 words. Total length? 7774 words. I know some things might not be factually accurate, but I claim Artistic License for anything I might have gotten wrong about Japanese firemen. Enjoy~
Tamamori could think of a dozen different places he would rather be than at the doctor's office, knowing he was going to be poked, prodded and then asked to pee into a cup. He was not happy about any of the above, but he knew it was necessary. He had just passed all the fireman training requirements and got accepted to his first job, provided he pass the upcoming tests. So, he bore all the horrible (and at times embarrassing) tests finally, while somehow managing not to grimace, he took the specimen cup and dutifully... did his thing.
Senga had been waiting for him, having also gone through the same ordeal. They had met during their firemen classes at university and became close friends. They had moved into an apartment together shortly after and applied to work at the same station as soon as they had passed their last test. "I see you made it out in one piece."
Tamamori rubbed the arm they'd taken a blood sample from. "I hate needles."
"No kidding. You're really pale. Are you feeling light headed?"
Tamamori shook his head. "I just need some food. Didn't we pass a ramen shop on the way here?"
After lunch, they headed back to the apartment. There wasn't much to do besides wait the couple days it would take to process everything. They still had a meeting with the fire chief tomorrow, which Tamamori was still nervous about. Senga, however, was radiating enough confidence for the both of them. Tamamori flopped on the couch and closed his eyes.
"Too much trauma today, Tama-chan? However are you going to make it as a firefighter?"
Tamamori opened an eye to glare at Senga. "They won't poke me with needles while I'm working." He felt weight on his legs and closed his eyes again in exasperation. There was just no helping Senga. "There's plenty of other places for you to sit. You know that, right?"
"But there's only one Tama-chan."
"Be thankful I like you."
-------
The next day, they both took the train to the fire station. Tamamori didn't even notice how tightly his hands were clenched until Senga covered his fist with one of his own hands. "Relax, Tama-chan. We've already got the job, we're just going to meet our boss."
"What if... he finds out?"
Senga squeezed his hand in comfort. He knew Tamamori's fear; he shared the same secret, though he didn't let it hold him back. "Tama-chan, nowhere in the job requirements did it say you have to like girls. Who knows, maybe the chief has a thing for men, too."
Tamamori rolled his eyes. "You wish."
Senga grinned. "I do, actually."
Tamamori smiled back and squeezed Senga's hand, some of his tension subsiding. "Thanks." He sat back and tried to relax for the rest of the trip.
When their stop was announced, Senga yanked Tamamori up by his hand. "Show time!"
The fire station wasn't too far from the train station, so it didn't take them long to walk there. They went inside and were greeted by the receptionist. "What can I do for you gentlemen?"
"We're here to see Fire Chief Kitayama. We're new hires, and we have a meeting at eleven. I'm Senga Kento and this is Tamamori Yuta."
Tamamori bowed slightly and kept looking around. There were pictures decorating the walls and awards for various inter-fire department competitions.
"Oh, it's the newbies!"
Both turned to see the direction the voice came from. A man, around their age, grinning widely with what Tamamori could only describe as bunny teeth.
"I'm Senga Kento."
"Tamamori Yuta." Both bowed politely and looked back up to see the man who greeted them grin even wider.
"Nikaido Takashi at your service. You're here to see Kitamitsu?"
Tamamori and Senga looked at each other. Did they get the Fire Chief's name wrong? "Kitamitsu?" Senga asked.
"Kitayama Hiromitsu. Kitamitsu." Nikaido turned to their receptionist. "Who is he with now?"
"Last person I saw go that way was Fujigaya-san."
Nikaido laughed and all of a sudden, Tamamori got chills down his back. "Perfect, you get to meet both at once. Follow me."
Tamamori and Senga shared another look, but followed after Nikaido. Without knocking, Nikaido opened the door with the Fire Chief's name on it. "Kitamitsu, we've got our newbies here."
"What the hell, Nika?! Haven't you ever heard of knocking first?"
Tamamori peered in and immediately felt his cheeks go red. Sitting on the desk, was a topless man with fluffy brown hair and another, shorter man standing between the other's legs. When he seemed to realize he had visitors he jumped away from the guy on the desk and glared daggers at Nikaido. Senga shook Tamamori's arm. "What was it that I was telling you on the train?"
Tamamori managed to hold back his laugh and break his gaze away from the short man and back to the man on the desk who was now pulling on his shirt. It didn't take a genius to figure out what they had interrupted.
"Boss, this is Tamamori and Senga, our newcomers." The way Nikaido said 'boss' gave Tamamori the feeling he didn't feel that way at all. "Guys, the shorty is Kitayama Hiromitsu-"
"How about I give you a short life?"
"-and the boy toy is Fujigaya Daisuke," Nikaido continued as if he hadn't been interrupted.
"Taisuke, you ass."
Nikaido turned back to Tamamori and Senga. "Note how he didn't deny the boy toy part." Senga snickered and Tamamori jabbed him lightly in the side. "I leave you two in their capable hands." He gave a mock salute and exited.
Tamamori and Senga looked back to the other two. Both were now composed and Fujigaya was no longer sitting on the desk, but standing next to Kitayama. "As Nika-chan mentioned, I'm Fire Chief Kitayama Hiromitsu and this is Deputy Chief Fujigaya Taisuke. Nikaido is one of our Fire Lieutenants, a promotion I'm starting to regret." He grabbed a folder from his desk and opened it. After a moment studying the papers, he looked back up at the two. "Sorry about earlier, hope it didn't do either of you any permanent damage."
Senga shook his head and Tamamori did the same, still a bit zoned out from what he had witnessed. "It doesn't bother us."
"Good. We're a bit relaxed here when it comes to free time and most of us are pretty open."
"Open?" Tamamori asked.
"He means most of us have stepped out of the closet," Fujigaya clarified. "I hope that's not an issue." There was a bit of a challenge in his voice.
"We're pretty much a large family around here. Nicknames, joking around, practical jokes. It helps in tough situations." Kitayama sat in his chair and looked back through the papers. "So, pending the all-clear from your drugs tests, this will be your schedule." He handed them both some papers. "Have a look over it as soon as you can. There are also some papers for you to fill out and bring back with you on your starting date. We have dorms here, of course, and a kitchen and public showers."
"I recommend you buy a luffa and liquid soap. Our showers aren't bar soap friendly," Fujigaya added with a smirk and then winced when Kitayama none-too-subtly kicked his shin.
"You will both be training under two of our Fire Lieutenants. Senga, you will be with Nikaido; Tamamori, you will be with Miyata Toshiya. You've already met Nikaido and if you want to hang around for about thirty more minutes, Miyacchi will be starting his shift. In the meantime, you guys are free to look around or ask questions. I'll have our receptionist give you visitor passes. Any questions for Fujigaya or me?"
They shook their heads.
"We're a pretty quiet station, not a whole lot of fires or emergencies, so we have a lot of downtime. If that's it, you guys are free to go."
They both bowed and made their exit. "Did that just happen?" Tamamori asked.
"Yep. Our boss is awesome!"
Tamamori laughed. "I kind of want to hang around and meet Miyata-san. Do you mind?"
Senga shook his head. "I actually wanted to catch up with Nikaido-san. He seems like the life of the party around here."
They collected their visitor passes and got directions to the downtime room, hoping they would run into Nikaido there - which they did. He was sitting cross legged on the floor with another person, fighting via a console game. A third person was stretched out on the couch, watching the game on-screen, while both Nikaido and the person he was playing against laughingly hurled verbal abuse at each other.
"Oh! Which game is that? Is that the one that just came out?" Senga broke their shouting match. Neither of the two players on the floor looked up, but the one lying on the couch tilted his head slightly to see them.
"Yeah and I'm about to hand Miyacchi his ass," Nikaido said with a furiously rapid mash of buttons on his controller. And sure enough, the game declared him the victor. "All right!"
The other, Miyacchi, or most likely Miyata, threw down his controller. "This is the first time I got to play it, Nika-chan. I even came in early for this. Couldn't you have messed around a bit while I got used to the new combos?"
"Excuses, excuses." Nikaido stood up. "So, did you guys get your assigned partners yet?"
Tamamori nodded and looked down at Miyata and then back to Nikaido. "Kitayama-san told me I was with Miyata-san and Senga is with Nikaido-san."
The three boys burst out laughing. The one of the couch stood up and walked over to them. "I'm Fire Sergeant Yokoo Wataru, better known as Wakkun. And, please, drop the formalities. I'm sure Kitamitsu has given you the family talk. And some of us, Nika-chan in particular, don't exactly live up to the respect that goes along with the formal addressing."
"Hey!"
Yokoo ignored him. "Miyacchi, I know you're somewhat of an otaku, but I'm sure you know how to introduce yourself properly."
Miyata stood and walked to stand next to Yokoo. "I'm Fire Lieutenant Miyata Toshiya, nice to meet you." He had a huge grin on his face and his eyes crinkled up, making his brown eyes almost hidden.
Tamamori and Senga both bowed and introduced themselves again. Tamamori felt a bit shy under all the attention, but he thought he did fairly well. He looked at Miyata and saw that he was staring at him. He quickly looked away, pretending to be paying attention to the other's conversation.
"Tama-chan, huh?" Nikaido commented. "That should work for you."
"Huh?" Because even though he was pretending to pay attention, he was still after all just pretending.
"Your nickname. Kenpi already calls you it, so I figure it would be okay here, too, right?"
"Oh. O-of course. That's fine." Tamamori's eyes darted back to Miyata whose face wore an expression that said he wasn't fooled. He flushed red and went back to not looking at Miyata.
They spent the next hour looking around and following their new coworkers for a tour. It didn't take long, it was a smaller station after all. Yokoo ended up excusing himself during the middle of it because his shift was ending. The remaining four ended up sitting around a large table. "Do you guys live close to here?" Miyata asked.
"It's about a twenty minute train ride for us, so it's not too bad," Senga answered for them.
"Oh? You live together?" Nikaido asked.
Senga nodded. "For the past couple years. We met at college and found out we have a lot in common."
"Oh, you guys are together?" Miyata asked, looking between the two.
Tamamori and Senga emphatically shook their heads. "No way!"
"Not him," Tamamori scrunched up his face in distaste.
Nikaido and Miyata laughed. "It'd be fine if you were. No discrimination around here," Miyata added.
Tamamori caught the look Nikaido sent Senga and smirked. Doubtless Senga would have no problems. Throughout the whole tour, they had been bouncing jokes off each other and chatting like they'd been friends forever, but Tamamori remained quiet. That was one thing Tamamori envied. He wasn't outspoken like Senga was, especially not in front of people he didn't really know. He knew he'd gotten better, but he just never was that person.
"So, Tama-chan, have you thought about moving into this city? It would make the commute easier," Miyata asked.
"We talked about it a bit. We were going to wait until our probation period is over before we started looking." Tamamori couldn't bring himself to meet Miyata's eyes, so instead he watched Nikaido and Senga's animated conversation.
"Is there something wrong?"
"What do you mean?"
Miyata laughed. "Not to sound conceited. I mean, I know I'm not the best looking guy here, but you've been doing a very good job at not looking at me."
Tamamori blushed, caught. He shrugged and risked glancing at Miyata. "I'm not a very outgoing person. I'm not a recluse or anything, I just need to get used to the new scenery."
"Hard to get used to the scenery if you're not looking at it."
Tamamori shot his head around to glare at him.
"Ah, I did it," Miyata said with a wide grin. "You're cute when you blush."
Tamamori wrinkled his nose at being called cute.
"Even cuter." Miyata's eyes were completely gone due to the huge smile on his face.
"Quit saying gross things," Tamamori hissed.
Miyata laughed. "Don't take compliments well, do you? I'll have to make sure to get you to start liking them."
"Please, don't. It's not necessary." Tamamori looked down at his hands. Why was this so hard for him? Now that he was being singled out without Senga it was so much harder to talk to people. Or maybe it was just Miyata? Tamamori wasn't used to this kind of directness.
"Fine, fine. I'm not trying to flatter you are anything." Miyata shrugged his shoulders. "I meant what I said."
"Just stop talking."
"Whatever you want," he sung and rested his chin on his hands, staring right at Tamamori.
Unnerved, Tamamori stood up and grabbed Senga's arm, not caring that he was interrupting their conversation. "I'm hungry, let's go get some lunch."
"Wait, wait. Tama-chan!"
Tamamori finally had him out the door, it was hard to ignore the weird looks the others were giving him as he dragged Senga out.
"What happened, Tama-chan? What's the hurry?"
They were finally outside before Tamamori spoke. "Miyata-san... I dunno. I couldn't talk to him and every time he talked to me... I don't think I can do this, Senga."
Senga looked critically at Tamamori. "Are you really older than me?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Tama-chan, it really does hurt me to be the mature one here. Listen, this is a job. There are going to be people you like and people you don't like. So, get over it."
Tamamori finally let go of Senga's arm. "Let's go get some food."
Senga shook his head. "Fine, my choice though."
-------
"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" Senga asked over their sushi plates.
"With Miyata-san?"
"Mm-hm," Senga said around a mouthful.
Tamamori put his chopsticks down and took a drink of his water. "I don't know. He started talking to me and told me I was cute."
Senga laughed. "And? That was it?" Tamamori nodded. "Wow. You don't like someone because they gave you a compliment. Would you have preferred him to insult you?"
"I would have preferred him to say nothing, actually." Tamamori shoved a roll in his mouth.
"Did you think maybe he's interested in you? Sounds like he was trying to get your attention." Tamamori didn't say anything and just focused on cleaning his plate. "You're not really going to quit over this are you?"
Tamamori looked thoughtful for a moment. He shouldn't feel like he needed to run from this. Like Senga said in one of his brief moments of wisdom, he wasn't going to like everyone. And he really wanted this job and he really wanted to stay by Senga. "No, I'm not. I was just upset."
"Good. It would suck not having you around anymore."
They both ate silently after that. Once their plates were cleared away, Tamamori spoke up. "What about Nikaido-san? You two seemed to be getting along."
Senga nodded. "Yep! He's awesome. And cute. Did you see his smile? Just like a bunny."
Tamamori laughed. "Well, at least we know they don't frown on fraternizing with coworkers."
"Miyacchi is kinda cute, too. You know he was the class clown? But Nika-chan said that he's really smart and just acts funny. You should have asked Miyacchi for the run down on our coworkers, too. You missed a lot of interesting information."
Tamamori shrugged. "Maybe another time. Just don't try making anything between me and Miyata-san, it won't work out."
Senga grinned. "Who said I was going to try anything? I think he's doing fine on his own."
Tamamori groaned. "I'm serious. I'm not looking for a relationship. Friends, fine, but nothing more."
"Fine, fine." Senga leaned back in his chair. "Shall we get going?"
-------
"So, what do you think, Miyacchi?" Nikaido asked flopping down on the couch taking up two of the three spots. "They're both pretty cute."
Miyacchi rolled his eyes. "Figures that would be your first assessment of them."
"Kenpi said I was cute, too. What did you think of Tama-chan? He seems like a space cadet."
Miyata laughed and sat down next to him. "He does. But I think I didn't really help. He wasn't interested."
"In what?"
"Me."
It was Nikaido's turn to laugh. "Really? And you're getting on my case about how I thought they were cute? What did you say?"
"I told him he was cute. He doesn't like being complimented it seems."
"C'mon, Miyacchi. If someone walked up to you out of the blue and said 'hey, you're cute' wouldn't that put you on edge?"
"No because that would never happen. I'm not exactly hot like the rest of you. I've got a huge nose, crinkly eyes and the ability to sweat even on a snowy day. If someone came up to me and said that, I would die happy."
"You're too hard on yourself, Miyacchi. And you know what they say about big noses. Everyone here would be able to back you up on that one." Nikaido shifted himself back to rest his head on Miyata's lap. "Besides I think Tama-chan was just being shy. He was doing everything he could to ignore you, but couldn't in the end. That's a good sign. You might be able to wear him down. But I would get to know him first."
Miyata ran his fingers through Nikaido's hair, finding the action calming, and watched as Nikaido's eyes slid shut. He hummed to himself and thought about Tamamori. He was tall, with somewhat boyish features, and he had eyes of someone more than a kid, but not quite yet an adult. Miyata decided it was Tamamori's eyes that caught his attention. "I should probably apologize next time they're here. I'm supposed to be training him, I don't want it to be awkward."
"Nika-chan."
A voice called out behind them. Miyata turned his head and saw Kitayama and Fujigaya in the entrance. "Hey, the new guys just left."
Kitayama walked until he was in front of them and looked down at Nikaido. "Good, I wouldn't want to make a bad impression on them on their first day visiting or anything."
Nikaido opened up and eye to look up at his boss. "I think you two made a good impression on them actually."
Miyata looked between the two, confused. "Did I miss something?"
"Nika-chan has problems knocking and our new employees got to see a little too much of us," Fujigaya spoke from where he was standing. It dawned on Miyata that he was probably there to block any escape Nikaido might plan.
"Ahh, I see. What happened?"
"Nothing. They just got an early introduction to what usually happens around here. But Nika-chan still needs to learn a lesson."
Nikaido bolted from his spot, nearly elbowing Miyata in the stomach in the process. However, he wasn't expecting Fujigaya to be waiting for him. A moment later Fujigaya and Kitayama had him contained and headed in the direction of the dorms.
Miyata shook his head. He never did understand the relationships around him. He knew they were all unattached and that a casual romp was just that, nothing complex. He rarely participated and sometimes he was glad for that. Causal wasn't his thing and he only had one serious relationship before. Miyata's thoughts flickered back to Tamamori. He would really like to get to know him better.
-------
The week flew by, during which both Tamamori and Senga got the results that they were clear and ready to work. Kitayama had called them that Thursday to congratulate them and remind them that they were to start on Monday. Despite the oddities that happened when they visited, Tamamori was genuinely excited. It was really official now. They both stopped by their part time jobs to officially hand in their resignation and went out for dinner that night, determined to enjoy their last few days before they started their first real job.
They both decided to go for a walk after dinner; the weather nice enough that it wasn't too cold, but cool enough that they walked close together. "I'm still a little bit in shock," Tamamori commented. "I mean, I knew we had the job, it's just... official now, I guess."
Senga nodded. "Same here. It's going to be awesome, Tama-chan! Oh! We still need to finish filling out some of that paperwork."
Between their part time jobs, they had been looking through the papers Kitayama gave them earlier, wanting to go through everything together. "Now that we have no work, it'll be easy."
Most of what they went through was insurance paperwork, work laws and wages. Neither were currently in the right frame of mind to do actual work though, so they strolled through the city, walking nowhere in particular. When they finally made it home, close to midnight, they crashed on the same bed and not long after fell asleep.
The weekend passed quickly, and on the morning of their first day Senga woke up to find Tamamori already in the bathroom. It was an hour and a half before they had to leave and by how far Tamamori was done with his morning routine, he couldn't imagine how he was able to get up so early.
"Morning," he said through an unexpected yawn. Tamamori's response was an incoherent mumble, the hair clips hanging from his mouth not allowing actual words to escape. "I'll make some breakfast while you finish up."
Tamamori nodded in understanding and went back to straightening his hair. From the looks of things, it was probably his second pass. Senga shook his head and started prepping for breakfast. Thirty minutes later, Tamamori walked into their kitchen, dressed, and with flawlessly straight hair. "My turn, I guess. I left yours in the oven."
"Thanks." He walked by Tamamori and mussed his hair. "Hey!"
"Next time, you make breakfast!" Senga called and ran to the bathroom.
On the train ride, Tamamori was still upset about the hair thing. "Really, Tama-chan? You can't always worry about your hair, it's going to get messed up every day." Tamamori kept pouting, though he knew Senga was right. He just wanted to look good on their first day. "Or were you trying to look good for Miyacchi." Tamamori's face darkened and he scowled. "Fine, fine, I'll stop."
If there was one downside, it was that. Tamamori managed to put it out of his mind for the most part, but sometimes the image of Miyata's smiling face sneaked up on him. He also knew Senga wouldn't be able to live up to his agreement to not try anything. Well, Tamamori reasoned, Senga would be too busy with Nikaido to really try anything, so it was fine for now.
They were greeted by Nikaido and Miyata. "Nika-chan!" Senga ran forward to meet them, but Tamamori continued to trail behind. They spent most of the morning together and then split up when Nikaido said he had a meeting with Kitayama; Senga went with him leaving Miyata to finish explaining the supplies order request.
"Hm, we should probably wait for them to get back before we continue. Want to head to the downtime room?"
Tamamori nodded and followed after Miyata. "I'm sorry about the other day."
Miyata stopped and turned back to look at Tamamori. "Huh?"
"I was kind of rude. I now you were just trying to make me feel welcome and I just blew you off. So. Sorry." He bowed his head slightly.
"I guess I should apologize, too. I didn't mean to come onto you like that. You are cute though."
Tamamori laughed and blushed slightly. Miyata laughed with him. "I'll take that for what it's worth." They continued walking and spent some time just talking and getting to know each other better. Even after Nikaido and Senga came back, they still continued. Neither Miyata nor Tamamori noticed the look Nikaido and Senga gave each other.
-------
It didn't take long for Tamamori and Senga to settle into their jobs. As they got to know each everyone, the more often they would wind up going out together on their days off. About a month into their jobs, they moved into their new apartment in the same city as the station. It was bigger which both were grateful for. Settling back into an easier paced routine was nice, too. No commute to worry about and with a steadier income, their new apartment was starting to feel like a true home.
Tamamori even got used to Miyata and his charming ways. It didn't bother him so much anymore and he couldn't deny he liked some of the perks of having Miyata's attention on him. Tamamori would definitely classify them as just friends and Miyata also knew that, but Tamamori still found it nice to find his favorite snack on his bunk when he came in for a night shift or a chore duty being taken off his list. He would reciprocate, too, by buying lunch or doing some mundane task that Miyata was scheduled for.
They spent a lot of time outside of work together, too. Mainly it was with a combination of their other coworkers, but the times Tamamori found himself alone with Miyata, they still had fun. It was always an adventure with Miyata. A new movie, a new restaurant, going to the beach (where Tamamori unsuccessfully attempted to teach Miyata how to surf), or just relaxing at one of their apartments playing a game.
Tamamori never felt guarded around Miyata and even though Miyata would sometimes spout gross, romantic things, he would easily brush them aside and they would go back and continue doing what they were as if it never happened. It was just comfortable with Miyata, and Tamamori was happy.
He also liked Miyata's simplicity. There was no guessing between the two of them. Tamamori knew Miyata liked him, but Tamamori wasn't looking for anything more complicated than a friend. A best friend, even. Miyata was persistent, but it didn't ruin their friendship. They both knew where the line was and while Tamamori never dared get close to it, Miyata kept pushing the border.
But no relationship was perfectly balanced; the one between him and his own parents was a perfect example of that. Tamamori knew he would always love them - they raised him and they were pretty decent people. He knew that at one time they did think of him as their son. They just couldn't understand that, in the end, Tamamori simply wasn't the son they wanted. Tamamori tried to understand it, but gave up hope in his second year of college.
Tamamori wasn't weak. He could hold his own in a one-on-one fight, but against four people was out of the question. The college had contacted his parents because even after the painful split, they were still his parents. But he found out later the real reason why they didn't come to the hospital for his one night stay. After he was discharged from the hospital the next day, the college informed him that his parents had requested they be taken off his emergency contact list. The memory still hurt, but Tamamori did as asked and instead put Senga's parents on the forms. Even his forms for the fire station listed them first for any emergencies, but he had listed his own parents in the event of his death. Maybe they would care then.
"Tama-chan?"
Tamamori was resting on his bunk bed and opened his eyes to see Miyata looking down at him in concern. "Hm?"
Miyata trailed a finger down his cheek and Tamamori noticed that he was wiping away tears. "Want to talk about it?"
Senga was the only one who knew what had happened. It hurt to talk about it and apparently to think about it as well. He rolled over onto his side. "I... don't know if that will help anymore." The bed dipped and Miyata rested an arm around him.
"You like being here right? You're not thinking of leaving?"
Tamamori shook his head. "Nothing like that. Just some stuff that I ended up thinking about. I try not to, but sometimes one thought leads to another."
"Well, if you ever need to talk, you can always talk to me."
Tamamori nodded. "I know. Thanks."
It wasn't until a month later, his older sister called him while he was out with Miyata to let him know their father had got into a car accident. He was only slightly injured. A broken arm and a bruised face due to the airbags. The feeling of abandonment once again rose up, but this time someone was there to help him. Miyata managed to pull him into men's bathroom at the mall they were in and lock the door.
He told Miyata what had happened. It took a while, but he eventually got the details out. Miyata just held him and listened. Once the last tears fell, he washed his face, then thanked and apologized to Miyata.
"We're friends right?" Miyata said. "Talk to me anytime."
Since then, Tamamori felt something had changed between the two of them. But like most other things, he pushed it out of his mind. Everything is fine how it is now, he thought. Nothing needed to change.
-------
The first time Tamamori went to wake Senga up and found he woke both Senga and Nikaido up, his face turned bright scarlet and he quickly backed out of the room, letting them know breakfast would be just a couple more minutes. The second time, he just quietly shut the door again; they were both still asleep. The third time, he threw his apron at Senga's sleeping head and told him to make his own breakfast. Needless to say, Senga started informing Tamamori when Nikaido would be staying over.
Then there was the first night Senga didn't come home from his shift. It was close to midnight and Kitayama had told him Senga left at his normal time. Tamamori sent multiple mails and made multiple calls, but no response. He fell asleep, cellphone still in hand.
"Tama-chan?"
Senga's voice jolted him awake, his cellphone falling out of his hand and to the ground. "Senga?" he asked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.
"Yeah, what're you doing sleeping on the couch? Did you fall asleep watching a movie?"
The previous night came back to him and he remembered that he was very pissed off. "Where the hell were you? I called you a bunch of times and even sent mails that got no response. Kitamitsu said you left the station on time, but you weren't home even at midnight!" Tamamori paused to catch his breath. He saw the playful smile disappear from Senga's face. "Well? I'm not trying to be your mother, but we are friends, right? We live together and you've never not told me when you were going to be out late."
Senga looked away a bit, slightly embarrassed. "I... went to Nika-chan's place. I'm sorry for making you worry." He bowed his head, truly apologetic.
Tamamori's phone rang, cutting into the silence. As Miyata's name flashed up onto the screen, Tamamori also noted it was four in the morning. He looked back up at Senga and smiled slightly. "Get some sleep, you have work in a couple hours." He picked up his dropped phone and answered it as he watched Senga walk to his bedroom. "Miyacchi?"
"Tama-chan? I heard from Kitamitsu you called asking about Kenpi. Are you alright? Is he okay?" Miyata was talking a hundred miles a second.
"He's fine. Stayed over with Nikaido and he just got home."
"Are you okay?" he asked again.
"Yeah. I had a moment when I thought something might have happened. He's my best friend, almost a brother to me. I didn't know if he had got called somewhere else because something bad had happened..." Tamamori leaned back against the couch. "Sorry. Didn't mean to go on about it to you."
"I don't mind, Tama-chan. You're off today right? How about me and you go out and do something? Let Senga fend for himself tonight."
Tamamori laughed. "Okay, that sounds good. I'll meet you at the station?"
"I'll come pick you up. I'm off at six, is that too late?"
"As long as it's before Senga gets home."
They talked for a bit more until he heard Fujigaya's voice tell Miyata to stop talking to his boyfriend and help him put away the equipment that just came in.
Tamamori ended the call and stared at his phone. He wondered if he had just agreed to a date with Miyata. It felt nice and just natural. Miyata seemed really worried at first when he called, worried about him. He gripped his phone tighter and got up to go to sleep in his room this time.
-------
Promptly at six, Tamamori heard his doorbell ring. Which wasn't good because he was still doing his hair. Miyata must have asked to get off a little early. He put his flatiron into its holder and went to let Miyata in. "Sorry, I'm almost done," Tamamori apologized when he let him in.
Noting the clip still in Tamamori's already straight hair, Miyata laughed. "Kenpi wasn't kidding when he said you were obsessive about your hair."
Tamamori didn't know how the subject of his hair came up between Senga and Miyata, but he sensed meddling on Senga's part. "Good to see I'm a topic of gossip. Take a seat, I'll be done in a second." He closed the door after Miyata entered the apartment and went back to the bathroom.
"It's not like you talk about yourself a lot. And the things you did tell me are kind of depressing. I have to get information from someone."
Tamamori turned around, startled that Miyata had followed him. He was finishing up a section and the flatiron was already away from his fingers so there were no burning injuries due to the surprise this time. "Why would you do that? I tell you I'm not interested all the time. I just want to be friends."
"Is that why you agreed to this date? Because we're friends?"
Tamamori's jaw dropped a little. So, it was a date. He hadn't been certain, but he was content thinking he was just imagining things.
"Ah! So you think it's a date, too. Is that why you're still straightening your hair?"
Tamamori ignored the question and picked up the iron the finish his hair. "Why are you so persistent, Miyacchi?"
"Because I think you like me, too."
This time his finger did get too close to the iron and he flinched and put it back down. "Miyacchi," Tamamori started patiently, turning towards him, but wasn't able to finish. Miyata had taken that opportunity to lean in and press his lips to Tamamori's. It was quick and over too fast before Tamamori could pull away by himself.
Miyata gave him a smile, softer than his normal eye-eating grins. "I'll wait for you."
He disappeared from view and Tamamori couldn't help but read a double meaning in his words. He knew it was intentional. He finished his hair quickly, no longer caring too much about perfection. He left the bathroom to give Miyata a piece of his mind, but couldn't find him. He saw the front door was a bit open and heard Miyata's voice from the other side. It sounded like he was talking on the phone, he didn't want to eavesdrop, so he waited on the couch. His lips still felt warm and he knew his cheeks were just as warm and a couple shades darker.
"Sorry, Tama-chan, had a phone call," Miyata announced as he walked back in. "Ready?"
There were so many things Tamamori wanted to say, but he couldn't. He wanted to tell Miyata to leave, but couldn't. He wanted to ask why he had kissed him. He didn't want Miyata to leave and asking why he kissed him would be stupid because he already knew the answer. He also wanted Miyata to kiss him again, but it was a treasonable thought his mind had conjured and he wasn't going to voice it. He stood and quietly walked to the door. "Let's go."
Tamamori didn't bother asking how Miyata knew what his favorite food was since he already knew the answer. So, he just enjoyed dinner and only spoke when he was asked a direct question. So when Miyata apologized, Tamamori had to ask why he was apologizing.
"For everything, I guess. I know it was selfish, but before I decided to give up, I guess I just wanted to have at least one date with you. The kiss... I'm sorry for that, too. I didn't want you to tell me to give up again, so... I just..." he shrugged.
Tamamori felt a lump in his throat. He thought he would be relieved to hear this, but... he wasn't. It was the hardest thing to put into words. "But... you said that you think I like you, too. Why are you giving up?"
Miyata looked surprised, he didn't think Tamamori would ask him that. "It doesn't matter if you don't accept those feelings. I don't know why you pushed me away so hard, but I decided to let you win. Maybe someone else will be more persistent then me and will break you out of that shell."
Tamamori shook his head. All of a sudden, he didn't want to lose Miyata like that. He wanted him to keep calling him cute and to keep saying gross things and to trick him on another date. He just didn't know how to say it. "Miyacchi..."
"It's okay, Tama-chan. I decided this myself. I just wanted to apologize."
Tamamori spent the rest of dinner in silence, wanting to say things he could never get past his lips. Miyata lost some of his enthusiasm and Tamamori could see all the smiles and random conversation were forced.
They were back at his apartment and Tamamori still couldn't find the courage he needed to tell Miyata what he was thinking. So instead, he pulled Miyata close to him and pushed him against his door. He tilted his head down and pressed his lips hard against Miyata's. He didn't let it end as quickly as Miyata had ended their first one. Instead, he pushed his body against Miyata's and swiped his tongue against Miyata's closed lips. The shock must have worn off because Miyata started moving his lips against Tamamori's and pressed his body against him.
Tamamori's hands moved on their own and buried themselves in Miyata's hair. He played with the strands, marveling at how it felt. Miyata's own hands were digging into his waist as if he never wanted to let go. And Tamamori found he could be more honest with himself and wish Miyata never would let go. He finally pulled back when the sensation became too much. "Miyacchi... I..." he whispered.
Miyata waited patiently for him to continue. When a minute passed and Tamamori still hadn't said anything, Miyata managed to move himself away from against the door and smiled. It was a real smile, the one the Tamamori would think about for no real reason. "Thank you," Miyata spoke quietly and left Tamamori at his door.
Feeling stupid and useless, Tamamori entered his apartment. He was surprised to see Senga waiting for him on the couch. "Tama-chan?" he asked, looking a bit concerned.
Tamamori let out a small laugh. "He... he said he's going to stop trying." He leaned heavily against the door. "Why do I feel like he broke up with me instead?"
Senga nodded. "He called me earlier and told me he was going to tell you."
"But why would he? He says he thinks I like him, too. What kind of logic is that?"
Senga gave him a look that said 'why me?' "You have been doing nothing but push him away. Don't you think after a month or so of that he's going to feel hurt? You guys practically were going out, you just never admitted to it."
Tamamori heard the truth in those words. "What should I do?"
"Tell him. You're both working tomorrow right? Find an empty room, kiss him senseless and tell him not to give up because you like him, too."
------
The next day, Tamamori decided he was going to take Senga's advice. He knew Miyata would have already been there for two hours, so he would just have to find a way to get Miyata alone.
However these type of things never work out so easily. As soon as he got to the station, Kitayama was waiting for him. "Tama-chan, I need to talk to you." Tamamori followed him to his office and took a seat. He was handed two pieces of paper. "Read those, please."
The first paper he recognized was a personal vacation request. It was from Miyata. A request for a whole week off starting today. It was dated yesterday.
"Normally that kind of short notice doesn't bother me, but it came in with that other form."
Tamamori looked at the other paper. It was a transfer request form. Miyata wanted to transfer out. He had a sinking feeling he knew why. "Kitamitsu..."
"I'm not blaming you, Tama-chan. I just have a feeling you're somehow related to this. So, I need you to try to fix this. I haven't told anyone and I'm hoping I won't have to."
Tamamori nodded. "I'm sorry. I should have told him sooner."
"Go on, you can take today off."
Tamamori was out of the chair and out of the station. When he made it to Miyata's single apartment he was out of breath and he realized he had kept the papers Kitayama had shown him. He banged his clenched fist against the door. The door swung open and Miyata was stood there, holding a game controller and looking like he just rolled out of bed. "Tama-chan?"
He shoved the papers in Miyata's face. "What the fuck are these, Miyacchi?" Well, that wasn't the first thing he had wanted to say, but the situation had changed slightly. "You were supposed to go to work so I could drag you off somewhere and tell you that you'd better not give up on me--"
"Hold on!" Miyata pulled his arm to get him inside the apartment and tossed the controller on his couch. "Okay, one more time, with fewer people listening."
"This!" Tamamori shook the papers again. "Are you playing a joke or something? It's not funny."
Miyata sighed and placed a hand over Tamamori's fist to lower it out of his face. "No, it's not a joke. I didn't want to make things more awkward for you. It's not like I have any family here, but I would still be able to see everyone else if I transferred to a nearby station. I figured it was best." He paused. "Wait. What were you saying earlier?"
"I said you better not give up on me, idiot! Keep calling me cute when I blush, keep giving me my favorite snacks! I was being stupid, how could I think that I didn't like you back? I'm sorry I didn't realize it until now. I'm spacy and I hold people at arm's length all the time, but somehow you got through to me and I didn't even realize it. So, please, don't leave." Tamamori was running out of steam towards the end and his last sentence came out as a whisper. "I like you, Miyacchi."
Miyata pulled the papers loose from Tamamori's hand and crumpled them up into a ball and tossed them in the direction of the nearest trash can. "For a while I thought I might have been wrong."
"And now?" Tamamori asked.
Miyata pulled Tamamori toward him and into a kiss that shook Tamamori's soul. It was different from the first two kisses they had shared. Both equally trying to dominate the other, Miyata ran his hands over Tamamori's arms and Tamamori found his hands back in Miyata's hair, trying to pull him closer. Miyata pulled back first and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "Now I think you have a lot of time to make up to me."
Tamamori laughed. He would happily do just that. "So, Kitamitsu gave me the day off."
"Well, we can play games." Miyata nodded toward his abandoned controller. "Or I could show you my awesome bedroom."
"Not very subtle, Miyacchi."
"I never really was in the first place, but it turned out all right in the end."
It was too early for declarations of love or lifetime commitments, but Tamamori found it very easy to see himself with Miyata years from now. Maybe even introducing him to his parents one day. He hadn't expected to find someone like Miyata, so maybe it wasn't unreasonable to hope for other impossible things, too.
But for now, just being with Miyata like this was more than okay.