[KinKi Fic] Sync
For a piece meant to be introspective, this is a bit too fictional. =P Timeline is not consciously respected, either.
Warning for excessive sap, and long-running, repetitive sentences for those not tuned to that style. References / inspiration credits are hyperlinked; any interpretation error is my own, and I'll be glad to know your opinion. =)
Disclaimer: This writing is fictional and has no commercial purpose. Characters are real persons belonging to themselves.
Pairing: KinKi Kids
Genre: Romance, introspective, fluff
Rating: G
Summary: Why they can't be less, why they can't be more.
[Edited 2009.03.07]
---
Sync
. . .
The first time Tsuyoshi acknowledged his depression period in a talk show, it was by impulse; he hadn't found a good time for a private proper explanation to Kouichi until then.
The segment ended up unaired, because Kouichi's extraordinarily calm "without that we wouldn't be who we are today" response had struck him so deeply that all he could do was stare at his feet, and Kouichi had felt too awkward to hug him.
. . .
It would seem that after all this while, they have finally caught up with each other.
Kouichi may have been reserved, or Kouichi may have been slow; they have developed and subsequently outgrown the crush in out-of-sync phases, but looking back, Tsuyoshi doesn't see how it could have progressed any other way.
Kouichi is never one for little gestures of affection that Tsuyoshi appreciates, and Tsuyoshi refrains from doing so on his part, knowing Kouichi will only get uncomfortable. He wasn't that deeply disappointed in Kouichi's silence during the whole time he was going through depression; and while he was grateful, Kouichi's lenient acceptance was just what he would expect from that personality.
But if there is one thing that really got to him and endeared Kouichi to him once and for all his lifetime, it is Kouichi's unquestioning hard work at covering for him and keeping up with his capricious acts, past and on-going present.
They always tease Kouichi for having absolutely no romantic bone; and in order not to compromise the entertainment value of that natural clumsiness, Tsuyoshi never admits that he actually finds Kouichi's incapacity for emotive words a far superior expression of love in all its raw glory.
. . .
They don't talk much about personal matters, and Kouichi surprised Tsuyoshi with his on-the-mark observations when they were asked about each other in interviews.
What Kouichi doesn't understand from being in the same shoes, Kouichi understands from accepting Tsuyoshi the way he is.
. . .
It would seem that after all this while, they have finally caught up with each other.
It has been plain self-gratification that Tsuyoshi began to cross implicit lines in their public appearances without prior discussion -- the first obvious gesture being the twenty-ninth birthday kiss, though he thinks Kouichi should've detected the growing boldness some time around the tenth anniversary. Kouichi can be frighteningly perceptive when he cares to be, and his one and only partner is certainly well within his range of exceptional keen concerns.
Still, Tsuyoshi has dared to do that because he knows Kouichi can deal with it, because he knows their unit can withstand the shake. Granted, he already has his solo project to channel the less conventional of his self expressions, but he is finally nearing the conclusion of his identity search, finally at peace with himself, and that self is as much them as it is him alone.
Many limits have been breached since, ways in which they have become comfortable with each other, seen or unseen; many deep lines said on stage with eye contacts to affirm that they have meant every word.
Tsuyoshi says them in public because he can't say them in private; that will embarrass Kouichi a little too much. He can be merciless to Kouichi at work because Kouichi is strong at work; he returns in private every bit of considerateness Kouichi has always shown him at work by responding to his every tsukkomi, following up with his every lead.
And follow Kouichi does, just slightly louder than what his constant watch over Tsuyoshi all these years has announced, just slightly cheekier than the knowledge Tsuyoshi has always been secure in. Thirty, thirty, the man keeps whining, and Tsuyoshi is only too amused that he doesn't say aloud how they might as well be fifteen again, sans the reckless, now-precious skin-to-skin.
. . .
Tsuyoshi may get all fired up in competitive games, but he sees little point in rivalry for most things that matter in real life.
He is short and gloomy and un-manly and he thinks it's all right; Kouichi doesn't need two Nagase-s.
. . .
It would seem that after all this while, they have finally caught up with each other.
In effect, nothing has been made decidedly less vague than before, but nothing can be better as far as Tsuyoshi is concerned. It isn't like Kouichi needs to confirm what exactly Tsuyoshi visualizes as he sits in solitude crafting yearning lyrics from a woman's point of view -- it is not Kouichi, anyway.
Kouichi knows his feminine qualities as well as everyone around him, and Kouichi knows his masculine qualities better than anyone around him. This is how he is and exactly how he wants to be and this is exactly how Kouichi adores him.
He honestly does feel married to Kouichi -- an arranged one, as he won't deign to acknowledge those lovey-dovey half-jokes as proper proposals when none of those has been taken offline; not that they feel the urge nor the need to do so. Time has given them this relationship, and time doesn't give anyone more nor less than what they earn.
So let him not prematurely burn the bridge to the traditional married life for any of them, which he doesn't think all that infeasible even with Kouichi's level of unsociability; they are already sharing their lives in more ways than a normal household would grant, and there is after all a potent danger in devoting all of one's feelings to a sole, not-infallible only-human.
. . .
On screen, they have gone through possibly all stages of a relationship, from courtship to coyness to break-up to marriage; off it, they never even think of making it past the confession.
This will last forever anyway, won't it?
. . .
"My life is looking set to follow Takami-san's path," Kouichi sighs, after another readily-shot-down half-hearted attempt at flirting with their cute young guest.
Tom-san laughs. "So, what is your revised target age for marriage now?"
"You should first stop befriending the corner in all social events," Tsuyoshi remarks. "That gloom will drive away any potential girlfriend."
"You survived me," Kouichi replies lightly, "so I can't be that bad."
Tsuyoshi blinks. "When you find the girl, I'll make sure to give her tips on how to handle you."
Kouichi turns to him, and the meaningful look makes Tsuyoshi turn away quickly, a warning to Kouichi that there are others present.
"Don't forget your promise to babysit my children, too," Kouichi settles with saying.
"You promised him such a thing?" Tom-san asks Tsuyoshi. "How about your own plans for a family?"
Kouichi grins inwardly, seeing Tsuyoshi's discomfort at the turn of the conversation.
"Well, I," Tsuyoshi racks his brain quickly, "...think I'll need to take care of this old man until he gets married first."
Tom-san raises his eyebrows. "Are you sure? If you keep doing that, he might never want to marry."
Kouichi coughs and quickly excuses himself to their dressing room, leaving a speechless Tsuyoshi behind.
He turns by reflex when the door to the dressing room reopens and Tsuyoshi walks in, catching him off-guard; but three seconds into the mutual staring, Tsuyoshi lets out an amused snort at the recollection, which triggers the exact same reaction from him.
Kouichi turns back and resumes what he was doing, his ears idly registering the familiar rustling at the other side of the room.
It would seem that after all this while, they have finally caught up with each other.
---
Warning for excessive sap, and long-running, repetitive sentences for those not tuned to that style. References / inspiration credits are hyperlinked; any interpretation error is my own, and I'll be glad to know your opinion. =)
Disclaimer: This writing is fictional and has no commercial purpose. Characters are real persons belonging to themselves.
Pairing: KinKi Kids
Genre: Romance, introspective, fluff
Rating: G
Summary: Why they can't be less, why they can't be more.
[Edited 2009.03.07]
---
Sync
. . .
The first time Tsuyoshi acknowledged his depression period in a talk show, it was by impulse; he hadn't found a good time for a private proper explanation to Kouichi until then.
The segment ended up unaired, because Kouichi's extraordinarily calm "without that we wouldn't be who we are today" response had struck him so deeply that all he could do was stare at his feet, and Kouichi had felt too awkward to hug him.
. . .
It would seem that after all this while, they have finally caught up with each other.
Kouichi may have been reserved, or Kouichi may have been slow; they have developed and subsequently outgrown the crush in out-of-sync phases, but looking back, Tsuyoshi doesn't see how it could have progressed any other way.
Kouichi is never one for little gestures of affection that Tsuyoshi appreciates, and Tsuyoshi refrains from doing so on his part, knowing Kouichi will only get uncomfortable. He wasn't that deeply disappointed in Kouichi's silence during the whole time he was going through depression; and while he was grateful, Kouichi's lenient acceptance was just what he would expect from that personality.
But if there is one thing that really got to him and endeared Kouichi to him once and for all his lifetime, it is Kouichi's unquestioning hard work at covering for him and keeping up with his capricious acts, past and on-going present.
They always tease Kouichi for having absolutely no romantic bone; and in order not to compromise the entertainment value of that natural clumsiness, Tsuyoshi never admits that he actually finds Kouichi's incapacity for emotive words a far superior expression of love in all its raw glory.
. . .
They don't talk much about personal matters, and Kouichi surprised Tsuyoshi with his on-the-mark observations when they were asked about each other in interviews.
What Kouichi doesn't understand from being in the same shoes, Kouichi understands from accepting Tsuyoshi the way he is.
. . .
It would seem that after all this while, they have finally caught up with each other.
It has been plain self-gratification that Tsuyoshi began to cross implicit lines in their public appearances without prior discussion -- the first obvious gesture being the twenty-ninth birthday kiss, though he thinks Kouichi should've detected the growing boldness some time around the tenth anniversary. Kouichi can be frighteningly perceptive when he cares to be, and his one and only partner is certainly well within his range of exceptional keen concerns.
Still, Tsuyoshi has dared to do that because he knows Kouichi can deal with it, because he knows their unit can withstand the shake. Granted, he already has his solo project to channel the less conventional of his self expressions, but he is finally nearing the conclusion of his identity search, finally at peace with himself, and that self is as much them as it is him alone.
Many limits have been breached since, ways in which they have become comfortable with each other, seen or unseen; many deep lines said on stage with eye contacts to affirm that they have meant every word.
Tsuyoshi says them in public because he can't say them in private; that will embarrass Kouichi a little too much. He can be merciless to Kouichi at work because Kouichi is strong at work; he returns in private every bit of considerateness Kouichi has always shown him at work by responding to his every tsukkomi, following up with his every lead.
And follow Kouichi does, just slightly louder than what his constant watch over Tsuyoshi all these years has announced, just slightly cheekier than the knowledge Tsuyoshi has always been secure in. Thirty, thirty, the man keeps whining, and Tsuyoshi is only too amused that he doesn't say aloud how they might as well be fifteen again, sans the reckless, now-precious skin-to-skin.
. . .
Tsuyoshi may get all fired up in competitive games, but he sees little point in rivalry for most things that matter in real life.
He is short and gloomy and un-manly and he thinks it's all right; Kouichi doesn't need two Nagase-s.
. . .
It would seem that after all this while, they have finally caught up with each other.
In effect, nothing has been made decidedly less vague than before, but nothing can be better as far as Tsuyoshi is concerned. It isn't like Kouichi needs to confirm what exactly Tsuyoshi visualizes as he sits in solitude crafting yearning lyrics from a woman's point of view -- it is not Kouichi, anyway.
Kouichi knows his feminine qualities as well as everyone around him, and Kouichi knows his masculine qualities better than anyone around him. This is how he is and exactly how he wants to be and this is exactly how Kouichi adores him.
He honestly does feel married to Kouichi -- an arranged one, as he won't deign to acknowledge those lovey-dovey half-jokes as proper proposals when none of those has been taken offline; not that they feel the urge nor the need to do so. Time has given them this relationship, and time doesn't give anyone more nor less than what they earn.
So let him not prematurely burn the bridge to the traditional married life for any of them, which he doesn't think all that infeasible even with Kouichi's level of unsociability; they are already sharing their lives in more ways than a normal household would grant, and there is after all a potent danger in devoting all of one's feelings to a sole, not-infallible only-human.
. . .
On screen, they have gone through possibly all stages of a relationship, from courtship to coyness to break-up to marriage; off it, they never even think of making it past the confession.
This will last forever anyway, won't it?
. . .
"My life is looking set to follow Takami-san's path," Kouichi sighs, after another readily-shot-down half-hearted attempt at flirting with their cute young guest.
Tom-san laughs. "So, what is your revised target age for marriage now?"
"You should first stop befriending the corner in all social events," Tsuyoshi remarks. "That gloom will drive away any potential girlfriend."
"You survived me," Kouichi replies lightly, "so I can't be that bad."
Tsuyoshi blinks. "When you find the girl, I'll make sure to give her tips on how to handle you."
Kouichi turns to him, and the meaningful look makes Tsuyoshi turn away quickly, a warning to Kouichi that there are others present.
"Don't forget your promise to babysit my children, too," Kouichi settles with saying.
"You promised him such a thing?" Tom-san asks Tsuyoshi. "How about your own plans for a family?"
Kouichi grins inwardly, seeing Tsuyoshi's discomfort at the turn of the conversation.
"Well, I," Tsuyoshi racks his brain quickly, "...think I'll need to take care of this old man until he gets married first."
Tom-san raises his eyebrows. "Are you sure? If you keep doing that, he might never want to marry."
Kouichi coughs and quickly excuses himself to their dressing room, leaving a speechless Tsuyoshi behind.
He turns by reflex when the door to the dressing room reopens and Tsuyoshi walks in, catching him off-guard; but three seconds into the mutual staring, Tsuyoshi lets out an amused snort at the recollection, which triggers the exact same reaction from him.
Kouichi turns back and resumes what he was doing, his ears idly registering the familiar rustling at the other side of the room.
It would seem that after all this while, they have finally caught up with each other.
---