[KinKi Fic] Love As A Philosophy (Is Simple)
This writing is totally unsolicited, but I'd like to dedicate it to Aud whose Breaking Glass prodded me to try this second-person style, and to Rei whose comment prodded me out of a long break to pick up the unfinished draft. (The previous first-person Eye to Eye has actually been a deflection of that draft.) =)
Disclaimer: This writing is fictional and has no commercial purpose. Characters are real persons belonging to themselves.
Pairing: KinKi Kids
Genre: Semi-introspective flangst, second person
Rating: G
Summary: It is through movement that constancy is discovered, and through constancy that movement is sustained.
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Love As A Philosophy (Is Simple)
Love does not surprise you. You've always been sensitive to it. You can tell whenever your heart lifts in a slightly different way at the sight and voice of someone you meet, the same way he (says he) can tell if his car engine sounds a tiny bit off when he starts it in the morning.
You are fascinated by new encounters that he shies away from. Love is an adventure to you; a comfort zone to him. She's cute, she's funny, but the names at the tip of his tongue are years-old, familiar, Nagase's, yours.
You've never thought you would go along with his perspective. You've never expected to find that going from something-like-friends to lovers could be this hard.
"We can always go back to being friends," he says. You do not believe that. Sure, you can act, you can pretend. You've both been well trained at that all your lives. But you'll never be able to get rid of the history at the back of your mind, in each other's eyes.
He cannot even smile, cannot even look you in the eyes, but he brushes a hesitant hand on your shoulder as he awkwardly shuffles past.
Then you realize it truly is that easy for him. He has loved you way before this began. He will love you all the same long after this ends.
You're not going to ask him about marriage. His tired laughter is starting to slip in the face of their persistent teasing, and you don't want to sound too worried about some funky fortune-telling.
You don't need to deal further damage. Not many will miss the glances he is already sending you right now, not so much pleading for help as waiting for you to deliver the punch line so that the torment can be over and he can know that you are not taking any of it seriously.
You read him so well when it comes to this. You know he locks the door only to hide from more teasing, not to tempt you into claiming exclusive rights to the title partner you know he has not shared with anyone else. You know he forgives you in seconds after you do that nevertheless.
You have come to know the subtle difference between his fragrance as exposed to others and his fragrance as blended into the skin at the back of his neck. Those others will remain ignorant because only you can sneak nuzzles while unnecessarily fixing his costume or helpfully pulling him to position.
He shoots a puzzled look at you. You understand the question: Aren't we just friends now? But so long as that gaze lacks accusation, you don't care; and if you don't care, he won't.
If he sees no necessity to label that constancy love, then you don't see why you need to label these actions a lover's.
Love does not confuse you. You've always been able to find adequate adjectives to describe it. You can tell exactly how your heart lifts that fragment of a flutter at the familiar sight and voice of someone, the same way he can insist that the car engine has definitely sounded a tiny bit off this morning.
You've never thought you would accept a love that offers less than everything. You've never expected to find that going from something-like-lovers to friends could be this agreeable.
You can live with love profession strictly in the lyrics that someone else writes for him to sing not to you. You can live with his soft breathing next to your ear only while wheels are rushing you on to the next concert venue. You ask nothing more of this companionship, limitless because it is unnamed, constrained because it is real.
---
[*] Title is a line from "Simple", a song by k.d. lang and David Piltch (not-so-subtle pimping).
[*] The fortune-telling is a reference to Doumoto Kyoudai anniversary trip to Korea, 10 & 17 May 2009 OA.
Disclaimer: This writing is fictional and has no commercial purpose. Characters are real persons belonging to themselves.
Pairing: KinKi Kids
Genre: Semi-introspective flangst, second person
Rating: G
Summary: It is through movement that constancy is discovered, and through constancy that movement is sustained.
---
Love As A Philosophy (Is Simple)
Love does not surprise you. You've always been sensitive to it. You can tell whenever your heart lifts in a slightly different way at the sight and voice of someone you meet, the same way he (says he) can tell if his car engine sounds a tiny bit off when he starts it in the morning.
You are fascinated by new encounters that he shies away from. Love is an adventure to you; a comfort zone to him. She's cute, she's funny, but the names at the tip of his tongue are years-old, familiar, Nagase's, yours.
You've never thought you would go along with his perspective. You've never expected to find that going from something-like-friends to lovers could be this hard.
"We can always go back to being friends," he says. You do not believe that. Sure, you can act, you can pretend. You've both been well trained at that all your lives. But you'll never be able to get rid of the history at the back of your mind, in each other's eyes.
He cannot even smile, cannot even look you in the eyes, but he brushes a hesitant hand on your shoulder as he awkwardly shuffles past.
Then you realize it truly is that easy for him. He has loved you way before this began. He will love you all the same long after this ends.
You're not going to ask him about marriage. His tired laughter is starting to slip in the face of their persistent teasing, and you don't want to sound too worried about some funky fortune-telling.
You don't need to deal further damage. Not many will miss the glances he is already sending you right now, not so much pleading for help as waiting for you to deliver the punch line so that the torment can be over and he can know that you are not taking any of it seriously.
You read him so well when it comes to this. You know he locks the door only to hide from more teasing, not to tempt you into claiming exclusive rights to the title partner you know he has not shared with anyone else. You know he forgives you in seconds after you do that nevertheless.
You have come to know the subtle difference between his fragrance as exposed to others and his fragrance as blended into the skin at the back of his neck. Those others will remain ignorant because only you can sneak nuzzles while unnecessarily fixing his costume or helpfully pulling him to position.
He shoots a puzzled look at you. You understand the question: Aren't we just friends now? But so long as that gaze lacks accusation, you don't care; and if you don't care, he won't.
If he sees no necessity to label that constancy love, then you don't see why you need to label these actions a lover's.
Love does not confuse you. You've always been able to find adequate adjectives to describe it. You can tell exactly how your heart lifts that fragment of a flutter at the familiar sight and voice of someone, the same way he can insist that the car engine has definitely sounded a tiny bit off this morning.
You've never thought you would accept a love that offers less than everything. You've never expected to find that going from something-like-lovers to friends could be this agreeable.
You can live with love profession strictly in the lyrics that someone else writes for him to sing not to you. You can live with his soft breathing next to your ear only while wheels are rushing you on to the next concert venue. You ask nothing more of this companionship, limitless because it is unnamed, constrained because it is real.
---
[*] Title is a line from "Simple", a song by k.d. lang and David Piltch (not-so-subtle pimping).
[*] The fortune-telling is a reference to Doumoto Kyoudai anniversary trip to Korea, 10 & 17 May 2009 OA.