I have all the maturity of a nine year old boy.
Chapter one: Into the Breach.
*goes over to bookcase*
*realizes is too short*
*goes into closet and pulls out chair.*
*drags over to bookcase*
*stands on chair and takes off Henry the V. Does not knock over the Dimetridon*
*returns chair to closet*
*sits back on bed*
*clears throat*
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more,
Or close up the wall with our English dead! ~Henry Act 3 scene 1 lines 1-2
Yes. I know. I could have looked it up on the internets. But I wanted to get the book. Shutup.
Yes. I do believe that was an allusion to the Shakespeare play. And what is happening? Well!
They're attacking people. We start in the middle of a battle with Eragon leading the charge into some place. Though initially I am uncertain as to his placement. For while it says that The dragon Saphira roared, and the soldiers before her quailed. and then "With me!" Eragon shouted. He lifted Brisingr over his head, holding it aloft for all to see. I suppose we're supposed to assume that Eragon is on Saphira, but we're in the middle of combat and Eragon has a tendency to not be on his dragon when he probably should be. His placement here is crucial as we need to be able to visualize how he's doing this. It's the beginning of the book. The first introduction to the pair of them. I want to know if Eragon is astride Saphira doing his dramatic pose or next to her. I need this picture to help me set the scene.
Instead an arrow whizzes by him and he doesn't care.
Apparently he is not on Saphira (why is he not on the dragon raining death from above, again? Really? What's the point of a dragon if you're not raining death from above?) and is instead on a pile of rubble which with a cry of "The Varden!" He sends the men forward to battle while he leaps off the rubble and twists his ankle.
Ow.
They are attacking the keep belonging to the governor of Belatona. I believe he's a bad guy because of the way his keep is described:
Behind them rose a tall, dark keep with narrow slits for windows and several square towers, the tallest of which had a lantern shining in its upper rooms.
We shall see.
So while Eragon is on the ground having twisted his ankle an enemy solider darts out and tries to spear him in the throat. Yes. Let's go for the little target instead of the bigger one like the chest. Not that it matters, somehow Eragon is able to reach the man's gut and slice it open with his sword. Maybe he's grown Reed Richard arms.
And so people die. Delightfully Saphira's fire is useless. The enemy soldiers appear to be immune to it. So she goes about killing them the old fashioned way... I suppose... of biting and tearing them to pieces. I kind of like that Saphira's fire is useless. Though it makes me wonder about such things as how much energy it would take to sustain that. I mean the wizard/magic user is protecting all of the soldiers from her fire and there's a lot of them. We've previously been told that such a thing was deadly.
Eh. Continuity.
Eragon wonders about the power of such a magic user and who they might be.
Ayra meanwhile sets people on fire by saying the word "brisingr" This is, according to Eragon, unfair. Why? Because whenever he says it, his sword sets on fire.
Um. Why is he caring about such a thing in the middle of combat? If he needs to use his magic to fight then the fact that his sword is on fire should be the least of his problems. Also it would make for a great intimidation tactic, I think. But there's no reason why he shouldn't be using his magic like that just because his sword catches on fire.
At one point Eragon thinks You’re too late, thought Eragon with grim satisfaction. You should have left the Empire while you still had the chance and all I'm thinking that's missing is the MWAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!! evil cackle. And maybe some lighting thrown in.
There's no sympathy here. There's no reluctance. There's just it's your fault I'm having to kill you because if you didn't want to die you would have left.
Blah. Blah. More people die.
Roran is there directing people trying to get into the castle proper.
The keep door opens and this guy rides out on a horse with a magic lance. It's green and has a barbed blade on it. It also glows. Do I see a Plot Device here? I think I do. The rider goes for Saphira. He tries to get into the rider's mind but can't. He's too focused. So he starts to craft a spell. Which is apparently a desperate act.
And this is just silly:
Eragon filled his lungs. He reminded himself of the correct pronunciation of several difficult sounds in the ancient language. Then he opened his mouth to deliver the spell.
Why can't he say, "Eragon took a deep breath"? Because it makes it sound like filling his lungs is something he doesn't do ordinarily unless casting a spell. (Zombie Eragon?) There's so many better ways to do this. "Eragon took a deep breath and ran over the spell in his mind. Just before he started to speak, however, the elves cast their own spell."
The elves beat him to the punch, you see.
The horse goes down. The man throws the lance. The lance manages to hit Saphira in the neck despite him falling down with his horse. Damn lucky shot.
Eragon gets mad, but he doesn't seem to feel the pain that his life mate, the person he's bonded to his soul with, the one whose mind and body he knows like... I'm going to stop there, but you get my point. Their supposed bond doesn't apparently include feeling near death like pain. At least on Eragon's end. He gets mad and draws on all his power to strike the guy down, however Fuzzy Weiner - the blue elf- gets to him first and tears out his throat with his teeth.
Poor guy. I feel sorry for him. Brave man, trying to kill the dragon like that.
Upset, Eragon wants to talk to Saphira mind to mind but can't because he's afraid that someone will be able to take over his mind or get into it, if he opened up his consciousness. ... because that has always been a concern before and something he has worried about and has been mentioned.
I'm sorry but Why? Why does this exist? Where did this come from? It's just there for cheap angst. Oh Eragon wants to comfort and talk to Saphira but he can't least something bad happens! He should be willing to take the damn risk! It shouldn't even be a consideration! Remember! LIFE MATE!! ETC. He should have done this without a thought, or damn be the risk as he cares about her more than anything.
Right?
Right?
Apparently not.
Anyway, the entire purpose of this was the lance. See the Lance is speshul. It was made by the elves to be able to kill dragons and get past all their magical defenses. It is a "Dauthaert" and it's name is "Niernen" which means "the Orchid".
*childish giggling*
BALLS. The Long phallic objected is named BALLS.
*sniggers*
*giggles*
I cannot take it seriously. Sorry. But when you name your long phallic object "balls" you've just lost me. Sorry.
Balls.
Hee.
So Balls (*tee-hee*)is part of a set of twelve, all thought to be lost or destroyed. Apparently not.
But now they have the magic plot device that can help them kill Galby.
Just as this is said, the walls come falling down. As they run, it doesn't look like Roran will get out in time.
And that's chapter one. I have to say the bit about Saphira nearly dying wasn't as thrilling or heart stopping or worrying as it should be, for the sheer fact that it's the first chapter of the book and I know that Paolini wouldn't kill her off like that. It's just a device to get Balls into the story. It could have been discovered just as well if they had looted the castle and found it, but this was supposed to be more dramatic. It could have worked, except that Eragon didn't really seem to have very much in the emotional response department. He always kept himself calm and thinking.
He didn't loose himself in the fear and pain of the moment, taking risks just to be with Saphira and make sure she was all right. Even when he could finally talk to here again, he doesn't open himself up, she's not worth the risk, instead he just says that he was worried about her. There's no emotion.
Balls.
Hee.
*goes over to bookcase*
*realizes is too short*
*goes into closet and pulls out chair.*
*drags over to bookcase*
*stands on chair and takes off Henry the V. Does not knock over the Dimetridon*
*returns chair to closet*
*sits back on bed*
*clears throat*
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more,
Or close up the wall with our English dead! ~Henry Act 3 scene 1 lines 1-2
Yes. I know. I could have looked it up on the internets. But I wanted to get the book. Shutup.
Yes. I do believe that was an allusion to the Shakespeare play. And what is happening? Well!
They're attacking people. We start in the middle of a battle with Eragon leading the charge into some place. Though initially I am uncertain as to his placement. For while it says that The dragon Saphira roared, and the soldiers before her quailed. and then "With me!" Eragon shouted. He lifted Brisingr over his head, holding it aloft for all to see. I suppose we're supposed to assume that Eragon is on Saphira, but we're in the middle of combat and Eragon has a tendency to not be on his dragon when he probably should be. His placement here is crucial as we need to be able to visualize how he's doing this. It's the beginning of the book. The first introduction to the pair of them. I want to know if Eragon is astride Saphira doing his dramatic pose or next to her. I need this picture to help me set the scene.
Instead an arrow whizzes by him and he doesn't care.
Apparently he is not on Saphira (why is he not on the dragon raining death from above, again? Really? What's the point of a dragon if you're not raining death from above?) and is instead on a pile of rubble which with a cry of "The Varden!" He sends the men forward to battle while he leaps off the rubble and twists his ankle.
Ow.
They are attacking the keep belonging to the governor of Belatona. I believe he's a bad guy because of the way his keep is described:
Behind them rose a tall, dark keep with narrow slits for windows and several square towers, the tallest of which had a lantern shining in its upper rooms.
We shall see.
So while Eragon is on the ground having twisted his ankle an enemy solider darts out and tries to spear him in the throat. Yes. Let's go for the little target instead of the bigger one like the chest. Not that it matters, somehow Eragon is able to reach the man's gut and slice it open with his sword. Maybe he's grown Reed Richard arms.
And so people die. Delightfully Saphira's fire is useless. The enemy soldiers appear to be immune to it. So she goes about killing them the old fashioned way... I suppose... of biting and tearing them to pieces. I kind of like that Saphira's fire is useless. Though it makes me wonder about such things as how much energy it would take to sustain that. I mean the wizard/magic user is protecting all of the soldiers from her fire and there's a lot of them. We've previously been told that such a thing was deadly.
Eh. Continuity.
Eragon wonders about the power of such a magic user and who they might be.
Ayra meanwhile sets people on fire by saying the word "brisingr" This is, according to Eragon, unfair. Why? Because whenever he says it, his sword sets on fire.
Um. Why is he caring about such a thing in the middle of combat? If he needs to use his magic to fight then the fact that his sword is on fire should be the least of his problems. Also it would make for a great intimidation tactic, I think. But there's no reason why he shouldn't be using his magic like that just because his sword catches on fire.
At one point Eragon thinks You’re too late, thought Eragon with grim satisfaction. You should have left the Empire while you still had the chance and all I'm thinking that's missing is the MWAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!! evil cackle. And maybe some lighting thrown in.
There's no sympathy here. There's no reluctance. There's just it's your fault I'm having to kill you because if you didn't want to die you would have left.
Blah. Blah. More people die.
Roran is there directing people trying to get into the castle proper.
The keep door opens and this guy rides out on a horse with a magic lance. It's green and has a barbed blade on it. It also glows. Do I see a Plot Device here? I think I do. The rider goes for Saphira. He tries to get into the rider's mind but can't. He's too focused. So he starts to craft a spell. Which is apparently a desperate act.
And this is just silly:
Eragon filled his lungs. He reminded himself of the correct pronunciation of several difficult sounds in the ancient language. Then he opened his mouth to deliver the spell.
Why can't he say, "Eragon took a deep breath"? Because it makes it sound like filling his lungs is something he doesn't do ordinarily unless casting a spell. (Zombie Eragon?) There's so many better ways to do this. "Eragon took a deep breath and ran over the spell in his mind. Just before he started to speak, however, the elves cast their own spell."
The elves beat him to the punch, you see.
The horse goes down. The man throws the lance. The lance manages to hit Saphira in the neck despite him falling down with his horse. Damn lucky shot.
Eragon gets mad, but he doesn't seem to feel the pain that his life mate, the person he's bonded to his soul with, the one whose mind and body he knows like... I'm going to stop there, but you get my point. Their supposed bond doesn't apparently include feeling near death like pain. At least on Eragon's end. He gets mad and draws on all his power to strike the guy down, however Fuzzy Weiner - the blue elf- gets to him first and tears out his throat with his teeth.
Poor guy. I feel sorry for him. Brave man, trying to kill the dragon like that.
Upset, Eragon wants to talk to Saphira mind to mind but can't because he's afraid that someone will be able to take over his mind or get into it, if he opened up his consciousness. ... because that has always been a concern before and something he has worried about and has been mentioned.
I'm sorry but Why? Why does this exist? Where did this come from? It's just there for cheap angst. Oh Eragon wants to comfort and talk to Saphira but he can't least something bad happens! He should be willing to take the damn risk! It shouldn't even be a consideration! Remember! LIFE MATE!! ETC. He should have done this without a thought, or damn be the risk as he cares about her more than anything.
Right?
Right?
Apparently not.
Anyway, the entire purpose of this was the lance. See the Lance is speshul. It was made by the elves to be able to kill dragons and get past all their magical defenses. It is a "Dauthaert" and it's name is "Niernen" which means "the Orchid".
*childish giggling*
BALLS. The Long phallic objected is named BALLS.
*sniggers*
*giggles*
I cannot take it seriously. Sorry. But when you name your long phallic object "balls" you've just lost me. Sorry.
Balls.
Hee.
So Balls (*tee-hee*)is part of a set of twelve, all thought to be lost or destroyed. Apparently not.
But now they have the magic plot device that can help them kill Galby.
Just as this is said, the walls come falling down. As they run, it doesn't look like Roran will get out in time.
And that's chapter one. I have to say the bit about Saphira nearly dying wasn't as thrilling or heart stopping or worrying as it should be, for the sheer fact that it's the first chapter of the book and I know that Paolini wouldn't kill her off like that. It's just a device to get Balls into the story. It could have been discovered just as well if they had looted the castle and found it, but this was supposed to be more dramatic. It could have worked, except that Eragon didn't really seem to have very much in the emotional response department. He always kept himself calm and thinking.
He didn't loose himself in the fear and pain of the moment, taking risks just to be with Saphira and make sure she was all right. Even when he could finally talk to here again, he doesn't open himself up, she's not worth the risk, instead he just says that he was worried about her. There's no emotion.
Balls.
Hee.