Chapter one of Eragon book

[kippurbird]

Eragon: Archetypal Hero? (first draft)[ *]

Comments

[pandaikon]

Ooh, delicious. This is shaping up to be quite the cool book, indeed. :D You've got some grammar mistakes here and there (comma problems, mostly), and it's spelled 'platter,' not 'plater,' but otherwise I can spot no real flaws in the essay. Hurrah! Have some cake!

[kippurbird]

Yay cake! =D

Yes, I shall have to go over this to get rid of the grammar mistakes (ie: give the essay to someone who knows what they're doing) once it's done.

I do really need the Red and Blue brick to do this properly though.

[christinaathena]

There's another type. You have "Instead of thinking about how it must before Roran to be leaving his family", when it shoudl be "be for". Also, that wording seems odd to me. I'd say "for Roran to leave his family" rather than the progressive form.

I'm assuming this is just the introduction to the chapter? Good sold start. *nods*

[christinaathena]

That should, of course, read "There's another typo". Ironic mistake. :-)

[kippurbird]

Yes, this is the beginning of chapter one. And then I came to a grinding halt because I realized I had no reference. So I broke down and bought the bricks.

[dryaunda]

How did you make those intra-entry links for your footnotes?

[kippurbird]

Um... I googled html footnotes and found a site and then copy/pasted.

[dryaunda]

(Googles html footnotes)

Hmm...

(Checks Kippur's page source)

Ah!

[wariena]

Well, it looks as though everything's coming along swimmingly to me. I'd definitely read something like this. ^^ As people have already said, there are a few grammar flaws here and there but they can be fixed. Keep it coming!

[kippurbird]

Thanks! As this is very rough first draft, I can imagine there are lots of grammar mistakes. But I will get rid of them as I polish it off.

[anonymous]

Darn this is good; I can’t wait to see more of this. You should put it up on a website if you haven’t already. You rock.

On a side note, I checked Paolini’s website and if you drag the mouse over the image of Paolini [the author of the book] and the word ‘Eragon’ comes up.

If that doesn’t make you suspicious that Eragon is a self-insert I don’t know what would.

[kippurbird]

Well, I'm hoping for this to be the first chapter in my book.

And Paolini has already admitted to Eragon being a self insert.

[jacedraccus]

Or, at least, Eragon is what Paolini would aspire to be in a medieval/fantasy world.

Why he aspires towards sociopathy, I do not know.

[kippurbird]

Sociopathy is heroic. Yup.