A Mirror of Imperfections Chapter 2
Title: A Mirror of Imperfections
Author: Cassie
Warnings: Mentions of self mutilation
Prompt: Private Lessons
Words: 1066
Jared was positive that not only did half of the school already hate him, but he was also on the bad side of his English teacher. Misha had gracefully let Jared sit by him, although it had felt more like being dragged through a crowd. Misha seemed to be blind, constantly hanging off of Jared and giggling at Jared’s uncomfortable facial expressions. Apparently Misha had a fine tuned gay radar, although Jared wasn’t naïve about his situation, no one but Chad could ever love him. No one but Chad would ever put up with his deformities and emotional problems.
Fear had stayed nestled in Jared’s stomach as the day passes by, each minute taking hours to tick by. By the time 3:30 rolled around Jared could feel sweat trickling down his neck, his eyes almost desperate as he entered his English classroom. The teacher was seated in his desk aside the chalkboard, flipping through a large stack of assignments. Jared awkwardly shuffled his feet at the doorway, unwilling to interrupt the clearly busy man. Misha practically bounced into the room, a broad smile on his face as he draped an arm around Jared’s shoulders.
“How is my new best friend?” Misha was slightly too close, close enough for Jared to feel guilt creep up his spine.
“Um, best friend?” Jared had never really had friends, only Chad.
“Hello boys, please take a seat.” The teacher finally stood, walking over to sit on a desk “I’m Mr. Ackles, in case you missed that while you were passing notes in class. Very interesting notes, I might add.”
“I’m sorry” Jared felt a deep flush cross his cheeks as he mumbled his apology, unable to summon any force behind his words.
“Ya, sorry ‘bout that” Misha grinned again, bumping his shoulder against Jared’s.
“Jared are you gay?” The teacher bluntly asked, an understanding smile crossing his features.
“Uh I have Chad, Chad uh loves me” Jared’s voice shook, another wave of guilt filling him. Chad had forbid his from telling anyone of their relationship.
“Ah, so you are gay?” Misha looked slightly disappointed that Jared had a significant other, although a smile was still tugging the corners of his lips. “At least I have a chance to steal you away from this Chad person.”
“Chad would punish me if I wavered in my commitment.” The words slid out before Jared could force them away, causing both Mr. Ackles and Misha to openly gape.
“He’ll punish you like he kinky way or he’ll hurt you?” Misha’s voice was filled with concern, causing Jared to look up from the floor to stare at him.
“He’ll just punish me. That’s all, it isn’t a big deal.” Once again Jared turned to look at the floor, wanting to wipe away his reflection from the too shiny surface.
“Jared, I run the schools gay straight alliance. I would really like you to join, it is a great way to make friends and to find a group in a new school.”
“I…I don’t think I am group material.” Jared didn’t want his presence to poison the group the way he was already ruining the school. Chad would be angry if he admitted to being gay, angry enough to leave him even. “I really can’t”
“Well, how about you come and see me once or twice a week so we can talk? That way your secret is safe but you still get the perks of the group.” Mr. Ackles smiled sweetly, his good intentions clear.
“I guess I could do that” Jared felt too guilty to turn the man down, even though he dreaded the idea of having to talk to the beautiful man before him.
“We’ll just refer to it as our “Private Lessons”, that way it doesn’t seem to weird to other students. Really, I don’t want to force you out of the closet.”
“Mr. Ackles here is gay, so the Principle has him talk to all the gay students. Our schools pretty cool about it all.” Misha grinned, his hand worming its way inside of Jared’s. The skin to skin contact caused a cringe from Dean and another giggle from Misha. “You need to relax, holding hands isn’t cheating. But hey I really have to go if I am gonna catch my bus. I’ll catch you later.” Misha stood to leave, leaning in to gently kiss Jared’s cheek, before leaving.
“Don’t worry about hurting Misha’s feelings by saying “no”, he is a major flirt. At one point he even hit on me” The teacher laughed and shook his head,” Jared I wanted to ask you about something.”
“Uh okay,” Jared began to nervously fidget, his palms sweating.
“Have you been hurting yourself? The note mentioned scars and well they are deep red and across your wrists.” The teacher nodded sadly to the one wrist he could see clearly, a small frown crossing his lips.
“I…that’s why we moved. New start,” Jared couldn’t lift his eyes from the scars riddling his wrist, almost comforted by their familiar gleam.
“I teach English but I also minored in psychology, so if you ever need to talk about this I’m here. Jared I am going to give you my personal phone number, I want you to call or text me if you are having negative thoughts. You deserve better than doing this to yourself.”
Jared finally tore his eyes away from his scars and stared into the green abyss of his teacher’s eyes. Tears welled in Jared’s eyes as he mumbled ‘I deserve worse’, his nails clawing into his arm, leaving half moon cuts. All at once the teacher’s arms were wrapped tight around Jared, pulling him in for a hug.
“You do not deserve pain, no one does. In time it won’t hurt.”
“I’ll always be stuck in this body.” Jared awkwardly sunk into the man, his arms still sitting in his lap.
“You say that like it is a bad thing,” Mr. Ackles pulled away to look at Jared, his eyes filled with concern. “Jared, you do realize that you are very attractive, right?” The teacher’s eyes flashed over Jared’s body once before returning to staring into his eyes.
“I know I’m not.” Jared pulled away, “I don’t want to do a private lesson right now. I want to go home and I think I missed my bus.”
“I’ll take you home Jared, it’s okay.”
Chapter 3,
Author: Cassie
Warnings: Mentions of self mutilation
Prompt: Private Lessons
Words: 1066
Jared was positive that not only did half of the school already hate him, but he was also on the bad side of his English teacher. Misha had gracefully let Jared sit by him, although it had felt more like being dragged through a crowd. Misha seemed to be blind, constantly hanging off of Jared and giggling at Jared’s uncomfortable facial expressions. Apparently Misha had a fine tuned gay radar, although Jared wasn’t naïve about his situation, no one but Chad could ever love him. No one but Chad would ever put up with his deformities and emotional problems.
Fear had stayed nestled in Jared’s stomach as the day passes by, each minute taking hours to tick by. By the time 3:30 rolled around Jared could feel sweat trickling down his neck, his eyes almost desperate as he entered his English classroom. The teacher was seated in his desk aside the chalkboard, flipping through a large stack of assignments. Jared awkwardly shuffled his feet at the doorway, unwilling to interrupt the clearly busy man. Misha practically bounced into the room, a broad smile on his face as he draped an arm around Jared’s shoulders.
“How is my new best friend?” Misha was slightly too close, close enough for Jared to feel guilt creep up his spine.
“Um, best friend?” Jared had never really had friends, only Chad.
“Hello boys, please take a seat.” The teacher finally stood, walking over to sit on a desk “I’m Mr. Ackles, in case you missed that while you were passing notes in class. Very interesting notes, I might add.”
“I’m sorry” Jared felt a deep flush cross his cheeks as he mumbled his apology, unable to summon any force behind his words.
“Ya, sorry ‘bout that” Misha grinned again, bumping his shoulder against Jared’s.
“Jared are you gay?” The teacher bluntly asked, an understanding smile crossing his features.
“Uh I have Chad, Chad uh loves me” Jared’s voice shook, another wave of guilt filling him. Chad had forbid his from telling anyone of their relationship.
“Ah, so you are gay?” Misha looked slightly disappointed that Jared had a significant other, although a smile was still tugging the corners of his lips. “At least I have a chance to steal you away from this Chad person.”
“Chad would punish me if I wavered in my commitment.” The words slid out before Jared could force them away, causing both Mr. Ackles and Misha to openly gape.
“He’ll punish you like he kinky way or he’ll hurt you?” Misha’s voice was filled with concern, causing Jared to look up from the floor to stare at him.
“He’ll just punish me. That’s all, it isn’t a big deal.” Once again Jared turned to look at the floor, wanting to wipe away his reflection from the too shiny surface.
“Jared, I run the schools gay straight alliance. I would really like you to join, it is a great way to make friends and to find a group in a new school.”
“I…I don’t think I am group material.” Jared didn’t want his presence to poison the group the way he was already ruining the school. Chad would be angry if he admitted to being gay, angry enough to leave him even. “I really can’t”
“Well, how about you come and see me once or twice a week so we can talk? That way your secret is safe but you still get the perks of the group.” Mr. Ackles smiled sweetly, his good intentions clear.
“I guess I could do that” Jared felt too guilty to turn the man down, even though he dreaded the idea of having to talk to the beautiful man before him.
“We’ll just refer to it as our “Private Lessons”, that way it doesn’t seem to weird to other students. Really, I don’t want to force you out of the closet.”
“Mr. Ackles here is gay, so the Principle has him talk to all the gay students. Our schools pretty cool about it all.” Misha grinned, his hand worming its way inside of Jared’s. The skin to skin contact caused a cringe from Dean and another giggle from Misha. “You need to relax, holding hands isn’t cheating. But hey I really have to go if I am gonna catch my bus. I’ll catch you later.” Misha stood to leave, leaning in to gently kiss Jared’s cheek, before leaving.
“Don’t worry about hurting Misha’s feelings by saying “no”, he is a major flirt. At one point he even hit on me” The teacher laughed and shook his head,” Jared I wanted to ask you about something.”
“Uh okay,” Jared began to nervously fidget, his palms sweating.
“Have you been hurting yourself? The note mentioned scars and well they are deep red and across your wrists.” The teacher nodded sadly to the one wrist he could see clearly, a small frown crossing his lips.
“I…that’s why we moved. New start,” Jared couldn’t lift his eyes from the scars riddling his wrist, almost comforted by their familiar gleam.
“I teach English but I also minored in psychology, so if you ever need to talk about this I’m here. Jared I am going to give you my personal phone number, I want you to call or text me if you are having negative thoughts. You deserve better than doing this to yourself.”
Jared finally tore his eyes away from his scars and stared into the green abyss of his teacher’s eyes. Tears welled in Jared’s eyes as he mumbled ‘I deserve worse’, his nails clawing into his arm, leaving half moon cuts. All at once the teacher’s arms were wrapped tight around Jared, pulling him in for a hug.
“You do not deserve pain, no one does. In time it won’t hurt.”
“I’ll always be stuck in this body.” Jared awkwardly sunk into the man, his arms still sitting in his lap.
“You say that like it is a bad thing,” Mr. Ackles pulled away to look at Jared, his eyes filled with concern. “Jared, you do realize that you are very attractive, right?” The teacher’s eyes flashed over Jared’s body once before returning to staring into his eyes.
“I know I’m not.” Jared pulled away, “I don’t want to do a private lesson right now. I want to go home and I think I missed my bus.”
“I’ll take you home Jared, it’s okay.”
Chapter 3,