Song Time
Age 18 / 705 words
Rain poured down onto Bristol, as rain often does in England. Faulkner sniffed downheartedly, arms wrapped around himself, shivering.
"Can't I use just a little magic?" he asked. "Keep myself dry?"
"We're in Muggle parts here, lad," said Auror Leeson. "Can't risk any bigger breach of the Secrecy act than we've already got."
"What's that then?" asked Dennis from behind him.
"It's a--" Leeson looked at him. "Who are you? Get this kid out of here, this is official Ministry business!"
Dennis looked confused. "But you sent for us! Didn't he send for us?"
"That you did, sir," said Emmett, pulling out their ID. "Unspeakables Creevey and Torrance for the Department of Mysteries, Auror. We're your experts!"
"You're experts?" said Leeson. He glared at Dennis. "What are you, fifteen?"
"Eighteen, sir!" said Dennis. "It's a common mistake! Except we're not really experts, this is our first field mission!"
"Dennis," hissed Emmett. "You're not supposed to tell them that!"
"Oh," said Dennis. "Um! We were told there was a meta linguistic problem? We're quite good at those! It's part of our current research schedule! Hardly anything's expl--"
"Perhaps you could just clarify the details?" Emmett cut in, nudging Dennis. "We were told there was a breakout at the Zoo?"
"A group of apprentice handlers decided it would be a good idea to throw a birthday party in their workspace," said Leeson. "Brought in a muggle band of all things! The idiots went and rankled the melpomenes."
"Melpomenes!" Emmett looked shocked. Dennis looked blank. "Are they singing?"
"They've stopped for now. Take a look for yourself. Faulkner, give the lad your omnioculars."
"Yes, sir." Faulkner took his glasses off and handed them to Dennis. "Disguised for undercover work. The controls are in the frames."
"What am I looking at?" Dennis asked.
"Melpomenes," said Emmett. "They sing a very pretty song that makes everybody extremely depressed."
"That's sad!" said Dennis. Through the glasses he could see the creatures prowling around between groups of crying men. "Who are those men down there?"
"That band, the keepers and Obliviator squad," said Faulkner. "They got sent in before we learned what had been let out and hit with a couple of verses. Out like lights. Now the Ministry is refusing to send us any more."
"If the melpomenes get out, we'll have suicidal muggles all over the place," said Leeson. "That's why I'm here -- Ministry of Law Enforcement insisted on it."
"Shouldn't the Department of Magical Creatures have been called in?" asked Dennis. "I dropped Care in my fifth year!"
"That would be me," said Faulkner, "and all I managed was a temporary fence."
"So in you lads go then," said Leeson. "I'm sure you Unspeakables know what you're doing."
"Not really!" said Dennis. "Most of the time we just make it up and hope it works!"
"Ha ha, what a kidder! We'll be going now," said Emmett, steering Dennis away and whispering, "You're not supposed to tell them that, either!"
"Sorry!" said Dennis. "Wow! I haven't been to a zoo for years! I didn't know there was a Wizarding zoo right next to the Muggle one! So melpomenes only sing when they're annoyed?"
Emmett nodded. "Yes. Defence mechanism."
"So if we don't annoy them, they won't sing!" Dennis said. "Easy!"
"How do we get them back in their cages without annoying them?" Emmett asked.
"Um! We could sing something to them! Like, um, an anti-song! Remember all that stuff about destructive and constructive interference?"
"Yes! Yes, that could work! But what? We can't listen to the song without getting too depressed to move."
"They sing happy songs that make people sad, so why don't we sing something that makes people happy, but in a sad way? Like, we could sing happy birthday to the tune of the blues, or, oh, oh! The Hogwarts Song to a funeral dirge!"
It worked surprisingly well. That or neither of them being able to carry a tune scared the melpomenes into retreat. Either way, the problem was swiftly taken care of, and they congratulated themselves on a successful first mission -- right up until they were called into the Head of Department's offices to explain why "Hoggy-warty Hogwarts" was the current British Muggle number one...
Rain poured down onto Bristol, as rain often does in England. Faulkner sniffed downheartedly, arms wrapped around himself, shivering.
"Can't I use just a little magic?" he asked. "Keep myself dry?"
"We're in Muggle parts here, lad," said Auror Leeson. "Can't risk any bigger breach of the Secrecy act than we've already got."
"What's that then?" asked Dennis from behind him.
"It's a--" Leeson looked at him. "Who are you? Get this kid out of here, this is official Ministry business!"
Dennis looked confused. "But you sent for us! Didn't he send for us?"
"That you did, sir," said Emmett, pulling out their ID. "Unspeakables Creevey and Torrance for the Department of Mysteries, Auror. We're your experts!"
"You're experts?" said Leeson. He glared at Dennis. "What are you, fifteen?"
"Eighteen, sir!" said Dennis. "It's a common mistake! Except we're not really experts, this is our first field mission!"
"Dennis," hissed Emmett. "You're not supposed to tell them that!"
"Oh," said Dennis. "Um! We were told there was a meta linguistic problem? We're quite good at those! It's part of our current research schedule! Hardly anything's expl--"
"Perhaps you could just clarify the details?" Emmett cut in, nudging Dennis. "We were told there was a breakout at the Zoo?"
"A group of apprentice handlers decided it would be a good idea to throw a birthday party in their workspace," said Leeson. "Brought in a muggle band of all things! The idiots went and rankled the melpomenes."
"Melpomenes!" Emmett looked shocked. Dennis looked blank. "Are they singing?"
"They've stopped for now. Take a look for yourself. Faulkner, give the lad your omnioculars."
"Yes, sir." Faulkner took his glasses off and handed them to Dennis. "Disguised for undercover work. The controls are in the frames."
"What am I looking at?" Dennis asked.
"Melpomenes," said Emmett. "They sing a very pretty song that makes everybody extremely depressed."
"That's sad!" said Dennis. Through the glasses he could see the creatures prowling around between groups of crying men. "Who are those men down there?"
"That band, the keepers and Obliviator squad," said Faulkner. "They got sent in before we learned what had been let out and hit with a couple of verses. Out like lights. Now the Ministry is refusing to send us any more."
"If the melpomenes get out, we'll have suicidal muggles all over the place," said Leeson. "That's why I'm here -- Ministry of Law Enforcement insisted on it."
"Shouldn't the Department of Magical Creatures have been called in?" asked Dennis. "I dropped Care in my fifth year!"
"That would be me," said Faulkner, "and all I managed was a temporary fence."
"So in you lads go then," said Leeson. "I'm sure you Unspeakables know what you're doing."
"Not really!" said Dennis. "Most of the time we just make it up and hope it works!"
"Ha ha, what a kidder! We'll be going now," said Emmett, steering Dennis away and whispering, "You're not supposed to tell them that, either!"
"Sorry!" said Dennis. "Wow! I haven't been to a zoo for years! I didn't know there was a Wizarding zoo right next to the Muggle one! So melpomenes only sing when they're annoyed?"
Emmett nodded. "Yes. Defence mechanism."
"So if we don't annoy them, they won't sing!" Dennis said. "Easy!"
"How do we get them back in their cages without annoying them?" Emmett asked.
"Um! We could sing something to them! Like, um, an anti-song! Remember all that stuff about destructive and constructive interference?"
"Yes! Yes, that could work! But what? We can't listen to the song without getting too depressed to move."
"They sing happy songs that make people sad, so why don't we sing something that makes people happy, but in a sad way? Like, we could sing happy birthday to the tune of the blues, or, oh, oh! The Hogwarts Song to a funeral dirge!"
It worked surprisingly well. That or neither of them being able to carry a tune scared the melpomenes into retreat. Either way, the problem was swiftly taken care of, and they congratulated themselves on a successful first mission -- right up until they were called into the Head of Department's offices to explain why "Hoggy-warty Hogwarts" was the current British Muggle number one...