[FANFIC] On Snowy Day - Eunhyuk/Donghae
Title: On Snowy Day
Author: kimleehyuk
Rating/Genre: PG / Angst
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae and HyukMin
Word Count: 5,613
Disclaimer: I disown them, omg /sobs
Summary: Love is white and it’s waiting to be colored. I’ve colored it a bit. I hope you can continue coloring it. Can you?
Warning: Grammatical errors, unbeta-ed, spelling errors, character death.
The very first time Donghae saw the dancer was on his first day stepping inside the huge building he was going to study at. The said dancer was brushing away the snows that fell on his coat. Later, another cheerful male came joining the dancer.
Someone tapped him on the shoulder, tearing his gaze off of the brown-haired male. “Are you the new student?”
“Uhm, yes,” Donghae nodded. The latter smiled his dimpled smile at Donghae. “Let’s go. I’ll be guiding you to your dancing class.” Donghae nodded once again.
-
“Annyeonghaseyo. I’m Lee Donghae. It’s nice to join you guys here,” he bowed politely. Some of the students were chirping at the back, welcoming him.
He threw his friendly smile to those said people.
Someone kicked the door open. A guy walked in lazily, dropping his bag on the floor. “Sorry,” he muttered out silently. The dancing instructor eyed him uninterestedly and turned the music on.
‘He is gorgeous.’ was what Donghae had in mind when he saw the earlier male standing exactly in front of him.
-
After getting wrong steps for umpteenth times, the instructor and Donghae himself decided that today was the day for him to only watch and observe the vicinity here and the students. He settled down on the floor, taking out the mineral water he brought with him from his bag, watching fervently the other students dancing.
“Bam, bam and BAM!” the dance instructor shouted, ended the dance with the final step. “That’s all for today. I’ll see you again next week.” The instructor said, taking out the CD from the music player and walked out of the room, leaving the students.
“You did a good job, Hyuk!” Someone exclaimed, patting Hyukjae on the shoulder. Hyukjae thanked the guy and smiled. ‘Oh, Hyuk….’
“Hey!”
Donghae shifted his attention to the sitting boy beside him. “Hey back.”
The latter smiled. “I’m Sungmin. It’s nice to have you here, joining us.”
“Thanks. But I was kind of lost on the first day, such a slow learner I am,” Donghae said, sighing. Sungmin laughed and rested a hand on Donghae’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. You’ll get better and better for the upcoming classes.”
“Ming.”
“Huh, what?” Sungmin looked up to see his friend.
“Let’s go now,” Hyukjae said, picking up his bag from the floor.
“Who’s he?” Donghae asked Sungmin, pointing his finger to Hyukjae when the dancer turned away to walk to the door.
“He’s Hyukjae, my friend. But people call him Eunhyuk. Well, he’s not a student here,” Donghae quirked his eyebrows at that.
“Then, what is he doing here?”
“I don’t know,” Sungmin shrugged. “He just wants to tag along with me. He’s more like our other instructor here. Most of the students think that Hyukjae is better than Mr. Shin a.k.a Mr. So-what-I’m-Your-Instructor.” Sungmin chuckled at his statement. Donghae formed an ‘O’ with his mouth.
“Ming!”
“Yes, yes. I’m coming!” Sungmin raised himself from the floor. “So, see you again next week. Bye Donghae!” Sungmin waved at him cheerfully.
And Donghae wished ‘next week’ comes faster.
-
‘Next week’ came painfully slow for Donghae but it’s here finally. Donghae marched up on the pedestrian, rushing to his dancing class. He’s 10 minutes late.
“Oh shoot! Mr. Shin is gonna nag and kill me,” he mumbled alone, quickening his steps.
He reached the room and harshly pushed the door open. “Annyeong-,“ he’s panting heavily. “Sorry, I’m late.” He said, breathing in and out hardly.
Mr. Shin stopped the music and glanced at Donghae, throwing his infamous death glare. “Come in.” Donghae slowly walked into the room, placing his bag in the floor before shuffling to join the group of the students.
“We’re doing paired-routines.” Mr. Shin informed. “You with him, now.” Mr. Shin pointed to Donghae and to another student. Donghae had to look to his left, the direction where Mr. Shin was pointing at.
Hyukjae.
Hyukjae slightly groaned and growled, not agreeing with the instructor.
“Ah. No-no, it’s okay. I can do the routines all by myself.” Donghae said, trying to help Hyukjae out of this problem.
“Can you lift yourself, kid? Now, now. Pair up now, we’ll begin.” Mr. Shin strictly told those two. Donghae swore he saw Hyukjae glared coarsely at him, sending him shivering a bit in terror. Donghae shuffled timidly to Hyukjae while muttering ‘sorry’ in a low voice.
-
“Okay. Like this,” Mr. Shin demonstrated the routines. Donghae gawped at the routines and turned around to see his partner who was standing there comfortably, watching the demonstration casually, as if it was one of the easiest things in the world. And for a moment Donghae forgot what Sungmin told him last week. ‘He is like our other instructor.’
“Get it? Try it with your partner, a mistake and it’s ruined.” Mr. Shin said proudly, walking around the room to observe his students.
“Err, shall we?” Donghae initiated a talk because they should at least communicate with each other to avoid mishap in dancing. Hyukjae just shrugged and walked closer to Donghae.
Dancing was Hyukjae’s passion, so he would do anything for dancing even if he had to pair up with strangers (Donghae is, to him) to dance.
Hyukjae languidly placed his hands on Donghae’s waist who gulped at the contact. He effortlessly lifted Donghae and instructed Donghae to place his hands on his shoulders for supports.
They were staring into each other’s eyes directly. Donghae was mesmerized by the look in Hyukjae’s eyes until he forgot the next step and…………
BAM!
Sungmin rushed to Donghae and helped the brunette to sit properly. Donghae fell down from Hyukjae’s grip and landed his back first. He groaned painfully, reaching his hand to his back to ease the pain but it made him groan louder. Mr. Shin walked over to the two sitting guys.
“Are you okay?” he crouched down and checked Donghae’s back.
“It’s-it’s okay.” Donghae said, almost whispering. He hissed in pain when he tried to stand up but ended up falling down back.
“Yah Hyukjae! Help him!” Sungmin screamed at Hyukjae who was standing, staring heartlessly at the hurting male before him. Hyukjae scooted closer and offered a hand to help Donghae. Sungmin sighed.
“He can’t stand. He cannot freaking stand, understand?” Sungmin hissed annoyingly.
Hyukjae was still displaying his poker face. “Then?”
Seeing the tense in Sungmin’s face, Mr. Shin decided to dismiss the class earlier. The students left the room, only leaving the painful Donghae, annoyed Sungmin and oblivious Hyukjae.
“Help him! You’re a part of this, how could you let him fall?! You should do that better, Hyuk!” Sungmin rang angrily at his friend while Donghae was still aching.
“What?! I’m not at the fault. He is! I was following the routine right, he didn’t.” Hyukjae retorted, shooting a piercing glare to Donghae.
“No, it’s okay. I’m okay. I’ll get better later. You guys can go back home now,” Donghae said, not wanting to see these two best friends bickered over his own stupid action.
Sungmin flickered on Donghae’s forehead. “Yah! Do you think you can walk back like this?”
“Let’s go,” Hyukjae said to Sungmin, earning another glare from him. “What? You’re leaving him in pain?” Sungmin asked.
“I mean, let’s go to the nearer clinic, you idiot.”
Donghae waved his, his face scrunching up in pain. “It’s okay. I can go back home like this,” he said, trying to look okay. Sungmin laughed bitterly.
“As if,” he raised himself up and helped Donghae to stand up on his feet. “Yah Hyuk! Help me.”
Hyukjae lazily and weakly walked to the boys and instantly pulled Donghae’s arm to wrap it around his shoulder. He used his right arm to wrap around Donghae’s shoulder to support him to walk. “Open the door,” Hyukjae instructed.
Sungmin quickly dashed to the door and opened it, letting his both friends walked past it before he went to pick up his stuff and Donghae’s.
Sungmin and Hyukjae took Donghae to the nearest clinic even though Donghae had insisted he’s okay but Sungmin was too eager to bring him here. Hyukjae, being the third party there who totally had no right to complain, just followed those two.
“It’s almost broken. Fortunately, it’s not. But you still have to take good care of it, don’t push yourself too much. Rest a lot,” the doctor explained while pointing at the X-ray image on the screen. The three boys nodded in unison. They thanked the doctor before going out to take the medicine from the nurse and went out from the clinic.
“Sorry for troubling you guys,” Donghae said, eye darting down to his shoes.
Sungmin lightly hit Donghae’s shoulder and the latter hissed in pain. Sungmin chuckled. “Oops, sorry! It’s okay. We’re friends, right?”
Donghae shyly nodded and looked up to see Hyukjae who was absentmindedly looking around at the lights. He sighed.
“Do you want us to accompany you to return home?” Sungmin asked, brushing his palms to obtain some heat since it’s snowing already here and they were standing outside at night. Donghae shook his head. “It’s okay. It’s late already you guys should be at home by now. Sorry again for troubling you.”
He bowed his head before walking away, leaving his two friends. He breathed in between his palms before brushing them, trying to gain some heat.
-
“Is he gonna be okay?” Sungmin suddenly spoke up while he and Hyukjae were on their way to return home. Hyukjae looked to his side, Sungmin, and raised his eyebrows. “Who?” he slightly shivered due to the coldness and quickly placed his hands in the pockets of his coat. “Donghae,” Sungmin answered.
“He’ll be fine. Hey, he’s not a little child,” Hyukjae snorted. Sungmin giggled and once again Hyukjae narrowed his eyebrows at his friend’s weird behavior.
“He looks like one. He looks like a little puppy which needs protection and care. I just feel like hugging him every time I see him, not wanting to let him go,” Sungmin explained, eyes were shining like stars. Hyukjae laughed mockingly. “You’re falling for him.” Sungmin lightly smacked his younger friend on the hoodie-covered head.
“Yah! It’s not like that,” Sungmin shouted, he repeated Hyukjae’s earlier action, putting his both hands into the pockets of his brown coat. “He’s like my little brother, I just have the feeling of the need to protect him from the evilness of this world,” Sungmin told Hyukjae confidently. Hyukjae chuckled. “Whatever, Ming. See ya!” Hyukjae chanted when they arrived at the junction that separated the road to his home and Sungmin’s.
Sungmin made a small wave before quickly returned his hand back into his pocket. “Bye Hyuk!” When making sure that Sungmin could not see him from that far, he rushed away.
Not to his home.
-
“Ah, it’s cold,” Donghae muttered to himself, clasping his hands together hoping that would reduce the cold. He was walking on the road to his home, not minding to quicken his steps. He loved snow even though it could kill with its coldness but Donghae admired it. His mom always told him about her story when meeting her husband, Donghae’s daddy, which was during snow, after Christmas. His mom said, they were each other’s first loves, love at the first sight, his mom chuckled.
Donghae grinned at the flashback of his happy mom when telling that to Donghae. He looked up to his watch only to see the shorter hand of the clock approaching 12.
He continued walking, playfully kicking the snow on the road, sometimes smiling at the young teens who walked past him, hands in hands, clearly enjoying the snowy night with their loved ones. He hoped one day he could walk like that with someone.
But suddenly it was distracted when he felt someone was walking behind him. Donghae turned around but saw no one there. The gush of winds blew, making Donghae shiver even more and again he heard the running steps behind him and when he looked back only to see lonely light stands there, no human’s presence.
He quickened his pace, walking the fastest he could in this weather, on this slippery road. He abruptly stopped dead on the road and the ‘follower’ crashed on Donghae’s back, hitting his nose against Donghae’s head. “Ouch!” the latter yelped.
Donghae turned around and he fisted his hands and was ready with the fighting position. He scrutinized his eyes in the lack of light surrounding to see who’s before him. He dropped his hands and tilted his head a bit when finally recognized the man before him.
“Eh?” Donghae hurled forward a bit. “Hyukjae?”
Hyukjae’s nose cringed in annoyance at the mention of his real name. “Eunhyuk,” he corrected.
“What are you doing here?”
“Following you,” Hyukjae said so casually for Donghae’s liking. Donghae hung his mouth open, way too exaggerate.
“What for?” Donghae asked more, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Hyukjae. Hyukjae laughed and showed off his gummy which Donghae secretly adored it. He reached out his hand from the pocket and ruffled Donghae’s brunette hair.
“You’re fine, right?” Donghae nodded but failed to hide the blush he had on his cheeks which made Hyukjae grinned cheekily at him. “I’ll be leaving, bye.”
“Yah!” Donghae shouted to stop Hyukjae who was about to leave him. “You freaked me out, creeping behind me like a creeper, just to see whether I’m fine or not?” Donghae scoffed. “That’s ridiculous, you must have been up to something!” he said, pointing his index finger accusingly to the confused male in front of him. Hyukjae laughed one more time, leaving Donghae scratching his not itchy head.
“No. Really, I’m just checking whether you’re fine or not. Sungmin was being worried about you-“
“Wait! Why didn’t Sungmin himself come to check on me?”
Hyukjae took a long breath. He didn’t know what to say next. Sungmin didn’t ask him to check on Donghae. It’s his own plan to check on Donghae. Was he supposed to tell him that ‘I just want to check on you by myself because I don’t want you to get hurt, because I want to see you walk into your house safely, because I want to see you again next week, because.. because I think I’ve started falling for you!’ No, he’s not going to tell that.
“Hello?” Donghae waved his hands in front of Hyukjae’s face. “Hello, hello? Earth calling, earth calling.” Donghae chuckled at his own joke and Hyukjae had to hold himself from pulling the shorter male into his hug, squishing him between his arms. No, he couldn’t do that. That would freak Donghae out and scared him.
“Uhm. It’s just we want to make sure-“ he pressed the word ‘we’. “-that you will arrive home safely without breaking your almost broken bone,” Hyukjae let out a long sigh. Donghae stared weirdly at Hyukjae.
“I’m not a child anymore.”
“But you look like one,” Hyukjae said unconsciously. He clamped his hand over his mouth. His face heated up because of the embarrassment.
“Are you okay? Your face is turning read,” Donghae asked, approaching Hyukjae closer. He places his hands on each side of Hyukjae’s cheeks. Hyukjae froze in his position. Donghae’s hands were cold and Hyukjae’s face was hot and it’s perfect.
Regaining his self-conscious, he quickly but politely warded Donghae’s hands off of his cheeks. “I’ve got to go.” Hyukjae said, instantly turning away and left on the spot, leaving the poor brunette in oblivion.
-
Hyukjae walked fast, as fast as his heart was beating, beating to the fastest rate it could. He lingered his hand on his chest, feeling the heartbeats. ‘What’s wrong with me?!’
He brought his another hand to his face, feeling the heat penetrated from his skin. He swore the snow could melt if he put some on his face skin that was burning right now.
“This can’t happen. I cannot love him. I cannot,” he mumbled as he breathed heavily. He clutched to his shirt when a sudden pain struck in his chest. Hyukjae slowly fell on his knees, kneeling on the coarse road alone, in the snowy night.
“I cannot,” he repeated that in his head, embedded the word firmly in his mind. He could not love anybody if he wanted to see them happy. He could not.
Tears were prickling at the edge of his eyes and the pain struck once again, more painful than earlier. He fished out his cellphone from his pants’ pocket, shakily rummaging on the buttons.
“S-sungmin-hyung,” his breathing was unsteady. “Help me.” He dropped the cellphone and he fell ungracefully lying on the harsh road alone. Snows fell gracefully on the ground, hitting Hyukjae’s almost breathless body. Before his vision became dark, the only thing he remembered was Sungmin’s voice shouting his name and Donghae’s chuckling face. He could not love anybody, he could not love Donghae.
***
He felt someone stroked his face. He slowly opened his eyes to see the owner of the hand but his eyes couldn’t take in the bright light coming from the lights and the sun from outside. The hand softly ran on his eyes, forcing him to just sleep and his eyes to keep close.
Later he found himself walking in the park, it was a sunny day and Hyukjae knew this was just his dream because he could still clearly remember that it was snowy here, not sunny. He found a bench and sat on it. To prove that this was only a dream, he was shaking, with cold hands in this sunny day. He was drowned by the cheerful looks and colors from the surrounding until he missed to notice someone sitting beside him on the bench.
The latter moved his hand and grabbed Hyukjae’s. Hyukjae turned around only to meet a pair of calm, smiling and beautiful eyes. Donghae. He was smiling at Hyukjae. Donghae’s hand was hot, perfect for his liking. He weaved their fingers together, smiling at each other, but no verbal communication. Their actions spoke for themselves. Donghae leaned his head gingerly on Hyukjae’s shoulder, smiling. Hyukjae smiled, too.
Soon his body parts turned all numb. He could feel nothing. The pain came striking again, pricking his body mercilessly. Pain, the only thing he could feel. He groaned, he moaned, he screamed but nobody heard him. Donghae beside him had long disappeared. The pain was striking even more painful, stabbing him, knifing inside him. He screamed.
-
“Hyuk! Hey!” Sungmin carefully tapped his friend’s cheek. That’s the 5th time he’s doing so. Hyukjae finally opened his eyes, breathing heavily through his mouth.
“Are you okay?” Sungmin asked while handling a glass of water to Hyukjae. Hyukjae took the glass and weakly nodded. “I’m okay.”
“Hyukjae,” Sungmin called out when Hyukjae was breathing steadily back. He turned around to Sungmin’s voice. “Hmm, what?”
“The doctor said that your heart condition is getting worse. You should-“
“No, I’m not going to go under any surgery, it’s final.”
“But-“
“No. My decision is firm.”
Sungmin let out a sigh. His tears were ready to trail down his face and he tried his best to hold it. He did not want his friend seeing him cry. But this time, he couldn’t hold any longer, the tears streamed down his cheeks like heavy rains, seemed no way to stop. Sungmin buried his head into the hospital’s bed Hyukjae was sitting on. His head bobbed up and down when he hiccupped. Hyukjae chuckled childishly at the crying friend of his head. He slowly put a hand on Sungmin head, carefully stroking it.
“Don’t worry. You promised me that Lee Hyukjae will forever stay alive in your heart, right? So, that means, I am not gonna die, right?” Hyukjae said, still stroking his friend’s locks. Sungmin violently shook his head and sobbed louder.
“But Hyukkie, you cannot die,” Sungmin sobbed. He raised his head from the bed. His eyes were puffy and red, wet cheeks and red plump lips (he’s been biting them when crying).
“I can die. We all can die. It’s just a matter of time. My time is earlier than yours and all other people,” Hyukjae said, stroking his thumb on Sungmin’s cheek, wiping the painful tears away.
“Don’t say that,” Sungmin replied forlornly and slowly removed Hyukjae’s thumb from his cheek. He held it and caressed it in his hand. “And don’t treat me like I’m your girl friend,” Sungmin chuckled, along with Hyukjae. “Donghae will get jealous.”
Hyukjae widened his eyes and managed to keep his expression still. “You know it?” he asked, smiling at his friend.
“Yeah. You keep saying his name last night in the ambulance,” Sungmin caressed Hyukjae’s fingers, wrapping it securely in his hands, sharing the warmth.
“I was shocked with my own feeling. I don’t know. The first time I saw him was when he registered at our dancing class. He looked so confused and innocent and was always smiling. His smile. Yes, his smile is beautiful,” Hyukjae explained, his cheeks were tinted with pink blush as he was fiddling with the blanket with the hand that Sungmin wasn’t holding.
“Does he know about your condition?” Sungmin asked, letting go of Hyukjae’s hand. Hyukjae shook his head. “No, he doesn’t and he should not and it should remain like that,” Hyukjae stated firmly.
“But, you should at least let him know-“
“No. He shouldn’t. He doesn’t even know that I like him,” Sungmin sighed at Hyukjae’s stubborn decision. Hyukjae was stubborn, too stubborn for his own good.
Sungmin raised himself from the seat. “I’m going. I’ll come again tonight, okay?”
Hyukjae just nodded. He lived here all by himself. No one to accompany him, the only family he had was Sungmin’s family which he had already considered as his family.
-
That night, it all happened in a second.
Sungmin was getting ready to head to the hospital. When he was locking the door, his phone rang and the words that he didn’t want to hear was what he heard that night.
Hyukjae was critical.
He stopped the taxi and rushed the taxi driver to drive faster to the hospital. He even scolded that poor old driver when the car stopped at the traffic light. ‘Hyukjae, wait for me!’
His tears couldn’t be controlled anymore. Tears were wetting his cheeks, trailing down his cheeks, almost wetting the scarf around his neck.
When he arrived at the hospital, he quickly pulled out the bills from his wallet and dashed into the building, not caring to take the change from the taxi driver.
He dragged his feet to Hyukjae’s room but was stopped by a young nurse.
“Sorry, you’re not allowed to enter. We’re in process of cleaning the room,”
“Cleaning? What the fuck you’re fucking cleaning? Hyukjae is in there!” he harshly pushed that nurse out his way, not bother about the manner he’d been taught about being nice to women.
On his way to enter the room, he bumped into the doctor, the familiar doctor, the one who had been treating Hyukjae. The look in the doctor’s eyes told everything.
Sungmin’s limb turned all jelly and he could not stand properly that the doctor had to hold his forearms to support him to stay standing.
“He was okay this evening, joking playfully with me when we’re checking him. But, just now, when our nurse came into the room, she found Hyukjae sitting on chair near the window, staring blankly outside at the snows. The nurse called out his name but no response and went to check on him and…” Sungmin sobbed harder, his tears seemed like would never stop as they kept streaming down his cheeks. The doctor patted him on the shoulder, trying to flow some courage into Sungmin by the contact. But no. His courage was gone. Hyukjae was his courage. Hyukjae and Sungmin were one, they were one.
“And… The nurse found out that Hyukjae was breathless, his face, hands were all pale,” the doctor clarified and Sungmin couldn’t help himself from wailing out loud, not caring what would the other visitors say.
“But, the nurse found these two letters on the table beside his bed,” the doctor took out two handwritten letters from his lab coat’s pocket.
“To you, Lee Sungmin. And the other one was written for Lee Donghae,” Sungmin shakily accepted the later and gripped them hard, crumpling them in his hands.
Sungmin was now useless. The other part of his body, his life was now gone. Hyukjae was gone. He cried, trying to digest the reality, the cruel reality.
-
“Hey Ming-ah!” a young teen Hyukjae called, walking casually to his friend, Sungmin.
“Huh? What?” Sungmin looked up to Hyukjae, stopping himself from kicking the snow as he was sitting on a bench in a park. It was snowing. Snows are everywhere, filling every inch of the place in white, Hyukjae and Sungmin’s favorite color.
“Do you want to know my dreams?” Hyukjae asked, sneaking his hands into his sweater.
“What? Tell me!” Sungmin replied cheerfully as he snuggled closer to Hyukjae, leaning his head comfortably on Hyukjae’s shoulder while stealing some heat from the younger.
“I want to live somewhere where it snows every time, every month. I want graduate on snowy day. I want to meet my first love on snowy day. I want to propose my love partner on snowy day. I want to get married on snowy and if I happen to divorce…” Sungmin lightly hit Hyukjae’s lap. “Why would you want to divorce? Aish, idiot!”
Hyukjae laughed. “I just said, if I happen to divorce. I want it to happen on snowy day and the most important one, I want to die on snowy day,” Hyukjae finished his sentence. Sungmin frowned unhappily at his friend. “Don’t ever dare to think about dying. You’re not dying, except if with me! Okay? We’re one, remember that!” Sungmin warned sternly to Hyukjae who was chuckling when Sungmin reached his hands out to pinch Hyukjae’s cheeks.
“Your hands are cold,” Hyukjae said, reaching for Sungmin’s hands on his cheeks.
“Warm them up, then,” Sungmin beamed childishly as they’re back to the earlier position where he was leaning his head on Hyukjae’s shoulder.
-
“Sungmin-hyung! Sorry! I’m late!” Donghae jumped on the spot in front of him. That boy was smiling as always, flashing his angel smiles that Hyukjae adored.
“Ah, it’s okay! Let’s go,” Sungmin affectionately ruffled Donghae’s hair and pulled the younger’s hand into a coffee shop.
“Why do you want to meet me? And, ah! Where’s Hyukjae? I thought he loved to tag along with you,” Donghae asked when they found their seat in the shop. Donghae wanted to ask about Hyukjae earlier but that would sound rude to ask about someone else first who wasn’t there.
“Uhm. Actually, I have something to tell you. I hope you can take this calm and alright,” Sungmin took Donghae’s hands on the table and wrapped them in his.
“What is it, hyung? You make it sound scary,” Donghae lightly chuckled, enjoying the warmth Sungmin was giving to him.
“Hy-hyukjae has gone. He is gone,” Sungmin said, stuttered at first. His lips were quivering.
“Huh? He’s gone to where?” Donghae asked confusedly. “Oh! He’s gone to some dancing competition? Isn’t that good news?”
Sungmin couldn’t hold his tears for any longer as he let them out, watering his eyes, almost blinded him. “Hyukjae is gone. He is dead. He is no longer alive,” Sungmin said quietly, almost whispering.
That hit Donghae like a bullet. His world turned dark and he felt like someone was preventing him from inhaling the oxygen, he couldn’t breathe.
Sungmin had expected this. He walked over to Donghae’s seat and pulled the younger in his embrace. They both cried shamelessly in the coffee shop, the other customers were staring at them but they couldn’t care less.
When they both finally could speak normally (even though Donghae was still sobbing and tears could still be seen), Sungmin took out the folded paper from his bag.
“Here,” Sungmin nudged the letter to Donghae who was wiping his tears with his sleeve. “He left this letter for you…..and,” Donghae watched Sungmin, signaling him to finish his unfinished sentence.
“Do you know that Hyukjae loved you?”
Donghae didn’t break into a loud wail instead he quietly let his tears fall down onto his laps as now he was facing down. “I love him, too. Heck, I fucking love him!”
Sungmin’s lips formed a smile. At least he knew that his friend wasn’t having one sided love but…… Hyukjae was gone, gone forever.
-
It was snowing really bad outside. The news reported that today was one of the worse days when snows started. All traffics were stuck, not moving an inch. Snows covered the land in white.
Donghae was sitting on a small bench in a park alone. In his hand was a crumpled folded paper. He slowly unfolded the paper and read the contents.
“Erm, hi Donghae. I know this letter would be a little awkward. And I guess the moment you’re reading this letter I must have been gone from this world. Ahah! Don’t cry! I don’t like seeing you cry (even though I haven’t seen you cry before). Please smile, your smile is beautiful. I know you know it, right? I’m joking :)”
Donghae wiped his tears and smiled as Hyukjae asked him.
“Just so you know, it’s snowing right now so I hope you’ll take care of yourself, okay? Don’t hurt yourself……..
I think, Sungmin must have told you about, err, about my feeling towards you, right? I know it’s stupid, liking someone secretly but that’s me. I’m the stupid. I just hope you won’t feel scared, because you’re being liked and loved by someone who has dead, hahaha. Don’t worry, I won’t haunt you, promise!”
“Silly! I love you too.” Donghae whispered, trying to control his tears from coming out of his eyes. He continued reading.
“How do I fall in love with you? Hurm, tough question. But, let’s keep that as a secret (but really, Sungmin knew it, I accidentally told him, you can ask him if you want to know!). The only thing I can provide here is I started liking you on the snowy day. You know how much I love snows? I love snows sooooo much! Snows are pretty and beautiful, just like you! I had once wished that there will be snowing everyday, even though it is possible and ridiculous.”
Donghae laughed silently. “Why didn’t you act like this in front of me? I would be all over you, tackling you to the ground if you do.”
“I first saw you, was on snowy day, even though I didn’t see you under the direct snow (I saw you in a building, you know where) but it’s still considered as snowy day since it was snowing outside. You were so beautiful and cute on that day, just like the snows. I wanted to approach you but I wasn’t brave enough to do so.
I hope you will still have the same passion for dancing as you had on your first day we saw each other in the class. I could see that in your eyes. I’m sorry if I was so cold and harsh towards you on the day I let you fell. Really, it was an accident!
Here, I’m telling you my dreams that I want to achieve. I want to live somewhere where it snows every time. I want graduate on snowy day. I want to meet my first love on snowy day. I want to propose my love partner on snowy day. I want to get married on snowy and if I happen to divorce, I want it to happen on snowy day and the most important one I want to die on snowy day.
They sound absurd, right? But, I’m happy because I have, at least, achieved one of them. I met you on a snowy there. I can strike it out of my wish-list, now.”
Donghae couldn’t hold his tears anymore and they oozed out willingly.
“Or maybe, I have achieved two. I want to die on snowy day. It seems like I nail it, isn’t it? Aww, don’t cry, Donghae! I want to see you smile from above! Smile, smile!”
“Idiot, let me cry.” Donghae plastered a weak smile on his lips.
“The last one, I just want you to know that I love you so much. Even though when I die, my love for you will still grow larger and larger, don’t forget that! Okay? I love you, Lee Donghae.”
Donghae scanned through the paper when he finished reading it before he caught a line at the very bottom of the paper.
“Love is white and it’s waiting to be colored. I’ve colored it a bit. I hope you can continue coloring it. Can you?”
-
The very first time Hyukjae saw Donghae was on the first day snows started to fall. Donghae was standing alone in the middle of the building before a guy that Hyukjae knew as Leeteuk-hyung approached Donghae and guided Donghae to his dancing classroom.
Sungmin followed after him into the building, staring weirdly at the grinning friend of his. “What’s with that grin you have on your face, huh?” Sungmin asked, poking his friend on the arm.
Hyukjae just shook his head and excused himself to go to the toilet. Sungmin walked alone to his dancing class.
First love on snowy day.
‘That’s it,’ as Hyukjae thought while he’s walking to his dancing class.
-
END
A/N: ASDFGHJKDVBNM I hate the ending T_T Seriously, I’m suck at writing ending, shoot me. I was originally going to kill Donghae in this but nyeh, I couldn’t as I reminded myself to Donghae’s wide puppy eyes (damn that kid!). So I had to kill Eunhyuk, instead. Poor my baby T-T
But as you read, I think it’s more like friends!Hyukmin than Eunhae XD Muahahaha. Kill me >:D
So yeah, that’s my crappy author’s note. Hope you did enjoy reading this! And please shower me with your awesome comments! (not forcing, though.)