Where you lead I will follow [part 2/3]
Title: Where you lead I will follow [part 2/3]
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Summary: Jensen sings a song for the stupid Karaoke party Misha thought up for Jared's birthday. It's harmless enough, even if Misha does make him sing some sappy love song by Carole King, he doesn't love Jared so it's no big deal right... right? What he doesn't expect however, is the sudden feeling that he gets when he looks at his best friend while he's singing... or the overwhelming jealousy that burns him when he sees Misha siting close on the couch, arm slung lazily over Jared's shoulders...
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys, they sadly belong to themselves because apparently slavery is wrong and not socially acceptable *grumbles about needing to change social norms...*
Rating: this part PG13 Lots of swearing though kiddies!
AN: this is for ilovedoyle in reply to a plot bunny that can be found here if you wanna have a read of it. I hope you like it y'all! It is turningo out to be longer than I'd expected and will be in two or maybe three parts rather than the one. Sorry if it's too long lol.
Two hours and a shit load of tequila later, Jensen was finally ready to give into Misha and sing the damn song already. He had flat out refused when Misha had smiled like a kid at Christmas and told him which song he wanted Jen to seen for Jared... no not for, Jensen was forced to remind himself, Misha had said, to. The crazy son of a bitch wanted Jensen to sing a love song to his best friend for his birthday...
Yeah, never gonna happen Jensen thought stubbornly to himself. He was not in love with Jared, that was just crazy right... so a little voice in his head that was soooo not his friend right now, started poking at him, why does it matter then? If you don't love him, why's singing the stupid song matter so much?
He had growled at his own mind and went at the tequila like it had done him a personal wrong and he was getting his revenge by drinking as much of it as he could very quickly... And what do you know! It actually seemed to work, because the next thing he knew he was standing up off the couch, grabbing the mike for Chad, who was killing them all with the most appalling rendition of the Time Warp Jensen had ever heard. The others cheered as the horror stopped and Chad pouted and moved to take a seat beside Christan on one of the couches.
"Fine Collins, you win, I'll sing the damn song" he practically growled at Misha, a 'fuck you boy' smirk on his lips. He would show Misha who the real winner was... at least that's how this all went in his brain right now. It made perfect sense, to him at least...
"Bout time Ackles" Jared hollered from the couch and cheered. Giving Jensen a smile that did not make his stomach flip flop... Nope, not even slightly. What the fuck was wrong with him lately he asked himself as he took a seat on the stool and watched as Misha gleefully programmed the song into the machine. Groaning again as he thought of which song Misha had picked.
"You think you're clever for this don't Collins" he drawled and shook his head.
"Of course I don't Jensen, I know I'm clever, no thinking required" he said with a bright smile that was nothing short of obscene in Jensen's considered opinion.
"I mean what better song for you to sing to your boyfriend than one that commemorates his wonderful work on such a manly show" Misha teased with a look at Jared who glared at him good natured like and flipped him the finger.
"Geeze thanks Misha... remind me never to let you do anything for me ever again would ya" Jared scoffed and took a swig on his beer, his eyes glittering as he turned his gaze back to Jensen who was at this moment glaring at Misha and muttering something about Jared not being his boyfriend. Again, if you're not feeling something, why's it matter to you? his very rude and frankly mutinous brain asked him again.
"Right fuck it, lets get this over with." He said loudly as he cleared his throat and with a glance at Jared, hit play and waited as the music started. At least he was a decent singer, so he didn't have that embarrassment to add to the list of tonight.
"Loving you the way I do, I know we're gonna make it through" he started, not quiet keeping time because he didn't actually know the words to this song and had to read them while he sung. One small gift from this was he didn't have a chance to look at Jared as he realised just how fucking sappy this song was... he blushed and decided he was going to kill Misha just as soon as this song was over.
"And I would go to the ends of the earth, 'Cause, darling, to me that's what you're worth"
He chanced a glance at Jared as he waited for the music in between verses. Big. Fucking. Mistake. His heart lurched inside him at the look Jared was giving him, and for a moment he was frozen to his stool, unable to look away from his friend. His heart rate picked up to completely indecent speeds and he would have gotten up and left right the fuck then if he'd been able to walk. Because, Fuck. This, he didn't know what was wrong with him, but he decided a good night sleep and some sunshine was the thing he needed most right now.
And he was totally not wanting to rip Misha's arm off right now because it was slung over Jared's shoulders as he sat so close to Jared that in Jensen's, not jealous opinion, the man might have well have been sitting in Jay's lap...
He snapped out of his thoughts when he realised he was meant to be singing again and instead was staring at Jared. Jared gave him an amused smile and dropped his eyes down for a moment before looking back up from under his lashes. And be fucked, that should not have been as adorable as it was, but for a moment Jensen couldn't breath much less sing.
He cleared his throat turned back to the screen and tried to catch up as best he could.
"lead, I will follow, Anywhere that you tell me to, If you need, you need me to be with you, I will follow where you lead
If you're out on the road
Feeling lonely and so cold
All you have to do is call my name
And I'll be there on the next train
Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead
I always wanted a real home with flowers on the window sill
But if you want to live in New York City, honey, you know I will
You never know how it's all gonna turn out, but that's okay,
Just as long as we're together, we can find a way.
And where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow, oh
Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead"
He got through the rest of the song reasonable well because he resolutely refused to so much as think about looking at Jared.
When it was mercifully over he shoved the mike into Mike's hand and glowering at Misha, still not looking at Jared, he legged it out of the room muttering something about needing the toilet.
In reality what he needed was a little bit of space to analyze what the hell had just happened to him. Why all of a sudden he had apparently turned into a complete fuckin' girl who was apparently batshit crazy for his best friend. Seriously, he had almost fucking swooned when he'd seen the look on Jared's face while he was singing. And what was that look anyway? He decided firmly to not even start thinking about that right now. He was having enough trouble with his own feelings without worrying about Jared's as well.
He never made it to the bathroom and was instead pacing up and down the hall trying to convince himself it was the tequila and that was all when he felt Jared before he even saw him...
What was that about?
"Jen?" Jared asked softly, his voice showed that the younger man was clearly concerned about his best friend. Jensen drew in a deep breath and willed himself not to freak out right now.
"Hey Jay, erm... you know where the bathroom is in this damned place I think I'm lost." he said in an attempt to hide the truth. His smile didn't reach his eyes though and he was having trouble breathing right now because the sight of Jared, with his goofy smile and wide eyes, was turning him to mush. And he was fairly certain in this moment that it wasn't the damned tequila... sadly.
"Ah, yeah it's just there" Jared replied, an amused smirk playing at his lips as he pointed to a door directly to Jensen's left.
Wonderful he thought, now he either thinks I'm an idiot or knows I'm lying to him. He wasn't sure which was the most upsetting.
"Jen, that song.. I just wanna say, you know, thanks. It was really nice, you did a great job" Jared was rushing the words like he was nervous and wasn't sure how to say what he was wanting to. And it made Jensen smile in spite of himself. If Jay had liked the song then whatever else was going on, might just have been worth it.
"Stupid Misha" Jensen replied with a snap, but his eyes told Jared that he really didn't mind the choice of song so much any more.
"Yeah, tell me about it, why do you think he made you sing that one? I'd have chosen Chad or something just because Chad would have been such a Douche about it.." he laughed and then frowned suddenly. "I mean.. I'm glad it... was you. Didn't mean I wanted Chad to be singing it... " he mumbled as he took a step down the hall and closed some of the space between Jensen and himself.
Jensen just sort of stared stupidly at Jared, and tried to tell himself he hadn't been hurt when Jared suggested Chad would have been a better choice. And he practically had to scream at himself to stop himself from doing cartwheels when Jared said he was glad it was him not Chad. Cause, yeah, that reaction might be a little hard to explain...
"Whatever man, I mean, doesn't really matter who sung the stupid thing anyway. Misha just wanted to embarrass you" he said, as he tried to keep the growl out of his voice. He didn't mean for it to sound so nasty, but he was on an knife edge as to how much more his nerves could take tonight. And if he couldn't convince himself, then maybe he could at least convince Jared that the stupid song had meant nothing.
"Ah... Yeah, right, ok then" Jared replied weakly, clearly hurt, the kicked puppy look crossing his face had Jensen feeling like a right asshole and strangely, he wanted to go and kiss the look right off of Jared's face... OK WHAT THE FUCK!! He screamed at himself... and then that little voice was back.. least it explains why you're not all crushed and shattered over Danni ending things
"Right I'm just gonna..." Jared started as he motioned behind him and made to turn back to the lounge.
"Wait" Jensen said softly and closed the distance between them faster than he would have thought possible. "Jay I'm sorry" He murmured softly as he gazed up at Jared's eyes from just in front of him now. He was so close he could feel his warmth and it made Jensen feel warm and fuzzy, like he'd suddenly curled up safe and warm in a cuddly blanket.
"It meant something, ok, I.. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I just.. I'm just feeling a little weird right now, yeah? Think it was too much tequila, and this whole breaking up with Danni thing."
He shrugged and then suddenly realised how close he was to Jared and how much of a pansy he had just sounded like. So he stepped back suddenly and added with a grin. "Think I just need to go get laid or something, get over her you know, where the hell is Misha hiding all the women!" He laughed softly and waited for Jared to join in and agree with him.
------------
Jared had tensed up the moment Jensen had come into his personal space. He loved it when the man was in his personal space. Hell he loved it almost as much as he loved Jensen. It had taken him years to work it out, what he was feeling, and months to accept it. Because seriously dude, it had been a hell of a shock. He wasn't gay, he'd never, ever felt this way for another dude. But Jensen he had realised eventually, was not just some guy. And so he'd learned to live with how he felt. Problem was... Jensen had no idea, and he clearly didn't feel the same way. Jared was ok with that... sort of. He had him as his best friend, that would do, it was enough, and it was sure as hell better than nothing.
His heart had almost exploded this morning when Jen had given him a puppy for his birthday. He wasn't sure why it meant so much to him, just that it really, really did. And then... that song... Oh god, he had let it all show in his face as Jensen was singing. Anyone and his dog would have been able to see the way Jared really felt about the man after seeing the way he looked at him.
The way Jensen had looked at Jared while he was singing, even if it was only for a moment, had made Jared's stomach bottom out. And more than that, it had made him hope... hope for the first time, that maybe Jensen wasn't as opposed to the idea as he had thought.
So when Jen had run out like his ass was on fire after the song was done, Jared had a thought that it wasn't cause he needed the bathroom. And he had needed to make sure his friend was ok. He ignored the shocked looks from Chad, Mike and Chris, and he snorted at the amused, smug look on Misha's pretty boy face and come after Jensen.
Now though, he huffed as Jensen stepped back and his eyes when cold and hurt for a moment, which he hoped the other man wouldn't see and he jerked his head in a non-committal motion.
"Yeah well, why don't you go ask him then" he scoffed and tried really hard to keep the disappointment from his tone. "Or better yet, why don't you go out, it's early, bet the others won't mind, this party sort of blows anyway huh..." he says doing his best imitation of genuine and nonchalant. As though Jensen wasn't smacking his feelings about the fucking hall like they were a tennis ball.
"Jay?" Jensen asked, and Jared refused to look at the older man. Pushing past him and moving to the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it before he could do or say anything even more stupid than he already had done.
"Just go Jen, leave me to pee in peace would ya" he snapped through the door.
----------
Jensen stared after Jared for a few moments trying to process what had just happened. He slowly made his way back to the lounge, frowning and trapped inside his own head. He sat down and didn't even notice the looks the others were giving him.
"Where's gianormo?" Chad asked him cheerily, always completely oblivious to when others might not be in the mood to talk.
"Bathroom" Jensen snapped as he grabbed a beer and downed half of it in one go. He suddenly felt stupidly tired and wanted nothing more than to curl up and go to sleep.
"Right, what now Jared?" Misha asked suddenly. Snapping Jensen out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw that Jared was back, his heart fluttering a little at the sight of him. He gave Jared a warm smile and felt his gut drop when all he got back in return was an angry glare.
"Well Jensen here wants to go fuck, reckons you need to start supplying the ladies" he said and his tone couldn't have been more caustic if it'd actually been made of acid.
The others just stared at Jared. Except for Misha who just laughed. Fucking Misha Jensen thought again.
"Yeah well Jenny is just gonna have to keep his dick in his pants tonight" Misha replied happily and leaned back into the couch with a grin.
"Right, if you'll excuse me, I need to talk to Jared" Jensen said suddenly, jumping up and walking out of the room, one hand dragging at Jared's arm as he went.
"Fuck off, don't drag me around asshole" Jared snapped at him as he jerked his arm out of Jensen's grip. Even though he'd allowed Jensen to pull him into the kitchen and he shut the door behind them so they were alone.
"Shut up would you" Jensen retorted angrily. Anger was easier than anything else he might be feeling right now. "What the hell was that about?"
"What was what about?" Jared asked as though he had no idea what Jensen was talking about, and that just pissed Jensen off more.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about Jay. What you have to say that to everyone like that?" he wasn't even sure why he was so upset about it.
"Oh you mean the you wanting to go fuck a chick thing? Just helping a friend out is all..." Jared threw back at him. His tone showing that helping out was the last thing he'd meant by it.
"Bullshit Jared" Jensen said, his voice way louder than he'd have liked. As he stepped closer to Jared and glared up at him. He was close now, too close. Jensen could feel his hot breath on his face because Jared was as angry and worked up as he was and both were breathing heavily.
"Why'd you do it?" He repeated.
"I don't have to talk to you about this shit Jensen" Jared snapped and moved to open the door as though he was going to leave.
"Oh fuck no you don't get out of this that easy" Jensen snarled and grabbed Jared by the arm, slamming him back into kitchen door and held him down by the shoulders, standing close enough that he could use his body to stop Jared moving if he had to.
"You're gonna talk to me right now, and tell me what is going on in that brain of your's Jared. Because you are not that person, you tried to deliberately embarrass me in there and I want to know why."
Jared looked like he was going to fight back for a moment and Jensen readied himself for it, as Jared glared at him. And then something worse, much worse happened.. Jared sort of just folded in on himself and the fight left his body, his eyes. His gaze was sad and hurt and miserable and his shoulders slumped heavily. It was a look that Jensen had never seen on his friend before and Jesus, he never wanted to see it there again. And it pained him that he was fairly sure he was the cause of it. Even if he couldn't understand how he'd gotten Jared to look like his heart was breaking.
"Jay?" Jensen whispered softly, his grip on Jared's arms easing up a little. No longer intent on holding Jared before him if he didn't want to be there. He looked at Jared, studying him, eye's silently begging the man to tell him what was wrong.
"I love you" Jared whispered so softly, so sadly that Jensen had to consider if he'd actually said it at all. He knew he had though and the sadness in his voice as he admitted something that to Jensen was simply the best three words anyone had ever said to him, broke something in Jensen.
All of a sudden he realised that all the denial and fear and bullshit he'd been working on all night was fucking stupid. He loved Jared, he was in love with him. And he was fairly sure he had been for a long while too. It would explain a lot of things he'd never allowed himself to focus on before.
Jensen didn't realise he'd been staring at Jared in silence for so long until he heard Jared whimper and choke on a sob quietly and try to pull himself away from Jensen.
"Wait, Jay... just please wait, give me a sec can you?" Jensen whispered through a choked breath. He gripped Jared's shoulders harder again and looked at him pleadingly. "Just need a moment yeah? Please don't go"
Jared stilled and closed his eyes and Jensen could see he was trying really hard not to cry. It was this sight that finally sealed it for Jensen and even though he was terrified about what came next he didn't care.
He leaned in slowly, pressing his body softly into Jared's, melding himself to Jay's chest like he had been made to fit there. His arms moved slowly from Jared's shoulders and wrapped tightly around his waist and he gave Jared a smile that showed his friend just how happy he felt here like this in his arms.
"I love you too you stupid over grown puppy" he murmured as he nuzzled along Jared's jaw line before pulling back to look up at him. "Guess I just needed some stupid song to show me just how much..."
He paused and for a brief moment he worried Jared would changed his mind, that he'd still pull away from him. He didn't need to worry for long though, because the smile Jared gave him next made his knees weak and he wondered how he'd been so blind for so damned long. He laughed, he couldn't help himself, and soon Jared was laughing too, having pulled Jensen even closer into a rib cracking hug and Jensen couldn't care less if he couldn't breath.
The next thing he knew he really couldn't breath because Jared was kissing him. Soft, tentative, nervous almost. His lips ghosting over Jensen's, and they were so soft and so right that it caught him off guard.
"God..." he breathed against Jared's lips before he couldn't stand the softness anymore and leaned up into the kiss, deepening it, lips pressing harder against Jared's, tongue running slowly over Jared's top lip, begging him silently to let him in. He couldn't stop the moan that ran up his throat when he felt Jared open for him and the other mans tongue come out to meet his. The moment he tasted Jared on his tongue he lost all semblance of control, the kiss becoming hot, hard, passionate, hungry. Jensen felt fire burning through him and all he could do was hang on to Jared and gasp even now and then for a much needed breath before diving back into the most amazing kiss he'd ever had. How had they never done this before, he kept thinking and then begrudging all the time they'd wasted.
He needed more, wanted all of Jared, and he wanted it now. He didn't even care they were in Misha's kitchen with their friends only a door away... He was about to tell Jared something to that effect when he heard a light knocking on the door behind them and groaned into Jared's mouth.
"Just wanted to inform you two, that if you fornicate on my kitchen table I will be forced to sue for damages and reversible emotional turmoil." Misha dead panned through the door and they could hear him walking away again.
Jensen broke the kiss and buried his head into Jared's chest with a groan of annoyance.
"Fucking Misha" he said, this time out loud and Jared chuckled above him. His head bent down and he nuzzled in beside Jensen's ear.
"Aww, I don't know baby, I reckon I kinda like the guy..." and Jensen snorted into Jared's shirt and still didn't lift his head. Not quite ready to move from this place, because now he's here like this, with Jared holding him, head buried against his neck, Jared's hair brushing his face softly, the smell of him everywhere. Jensen realises he never wants to be anywhere else ever again.
Jensen knew why Jared said he liked Misha right now though... it was because, as much as it pains him to admit it, they were wrapped around each other right now because that asshole had made him sing that song... so yeah, ok, maybe Jensen kinda likes Misha right now too. Though be fucked if he'll ever admit it to the man himself.
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Part 3
Comments make me smile! So please let me know what you think :D
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Summary: Jensen sings a song for the stupid Karaoke party Misha thought up for Jared's birthday. It's harmless enough, even if Misha does make him sing some sappy love song by Carole King, he doesn't love Jared so it's no big deal right... right? What he doesn't expect however, is the sudden feeling that he gets when he looks at his best friend while he's singing... or the overwhelming jealousy that burns him when he sees Misha siting close on the couch, arm slung lazily over Jared's shoulders...
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys, they sadly belong to themselves because apparently slavery is wrong and not socially acceptable *grumbles about needing to change social norms...*
Rating: this part PG13 Lots of swearing though kiddies!
AN: this is for ilovedoyle in reply to a plot bunny that can be found here if you wanna have a read of it. I hope you like it y'all! It is turningo out to be longer than I'd expected and will be in two or maybe three parts rather than the one. Sorry if it's too long lol.
Two hours and a shit load of tequila later, Jensen was finally ready to give into Misha and sing the damn song already. He had flat out refused when Misha had smiled like a kid at Christmas and told him which song he wanted Jen to seen for Jared... no not for, Jensen was forced to remind himself, Misha had said, to. The crazy son of a bitch wanted Jensen to sing a love song to his best friend for his birthday...
Yeah, never gonna happen Jensen thought stubbornly to himself. He was not in love with Jared, that was just crazy right... so a little voice in his head that was soooo not his friend right now, started poking at him, why does it matter then? If you don't love him, why's singing the stupid song matter so much?
He had growled at his own mind and went at the tequila like it had done him a personal wrong and he was getting his revenge by drinking as much of it as he could very quickly... And what do you know! It actually seemed to work, because the next thing he knew he was standing up off the couch, grabbing the mike for Chad, who was killing them all with the most appalling rendition of the Time Warp Jensen had ever heard. The others cheered as the horror stopped and Chad pouted and moved to take a seat beside Christan on one of the couches.
"Fine Collins, you win, I'll sing the damn song" he practically growled at Misha, a 'fuck you boy' smirk on his lips. He would show Misha who the real winner was... at least that's how this all went in his brain right now. It made perfect sense, to him at least...
"Bout time Ackles" Jared hollered from the couch and cheered. Giving Jensen a smile that did not make his stomach flip flop... Nope, not even slightly. What the fuck was wrong with him lately he asked himself as he took a seat on the stool and watched as Misha gleefully programmed the song into the machine. Groaning again as he thought of which song Misha had picked.
"You think you're clever for this don't Collins" he drawled and shook his head.
"Of course I don't Jensen, I know I'm clever, no thinking required" he said with a bright smile that was nothing short of obscene in Jensen's considered opinion.
"I mean what better song for you to sing to your boyfriend than one that commemorates his wonderful work on such a manly show" Misha teased with a look at Jared who glared at him good natured like and flipped him the finger.
"Geeze thanks Misha... remind me never to let you do anything for me ever again would ya" Jared scoffed and took a swig on his beer, his eyes glittering as he turned his gaze back to Jensen who was at this moment glaring at Misha and muttering something about Jared not being his boyfriend. Again, if you're not feeling something, why's it matter to you? his very rude and frankly mutinous brain asked him again.
"Right fuck it, lets get this over with." He said loudly as he cleared his throat and with a glance at Jared, hit play and waited as the music started. At least he was a decent singer, so he didn't have that embarrassment to add to the list of tonight.
"Loving you the way I do, I know we're gonna make it through" he started, not quiet keeping time because he didn't actually know the words to this song and had to read them while he sung. One small gift from this was he didn't have a chance to look at Jared as he realised just how fucking sappy this song was... he blushed and decided he was going to kill Misha just as soon as this song was over.
"And I would go to the ends of the earth, 'Cause, darling, to me that's what you're worth"
He chanced a glance at Jared as he waited for the music in between verses. Big. Fucking. Mistake. His heart lurched inside him at the look Jared was giving him, and for a moment he was frozen to his stool, unable to look away from his friend. His heart rate picked up to completely indecent speeds and he would have gotten up and left right the fuck then if he'd been able to walk. Because, Fuck. This, he didn't know what was wrong with him, but he decided a good night sleep and some sunshine was the thing he needed most right now.
And he was totally not wanting to rip Misha's arm off right now because it was slung over Jared's shoulders as he sat so close to Jared that in Jensen's, not jealous opinion, the man might have well have been sitting in Jay's lap...
He snapped out of his thoughts when he realised he was meant to be singing again and instead was staring at Jared. Jared gave him an amused smile and dropped his eyes down for a moment before looking back up from under his lashes. And be fucked, that should not have been as adorable as it was, but for a moment Jensen couldn't breath much less sing.
He cleared his throat turned back to the screen and tried to catch up as best he could.
"lead, I will follow, Anywhere that you tell me to, If you need, you need me to be with you, I will follow where you lead
If you're out on the road
Feeling lonely and so cold
All you have to do is call my name
And I'll be there on the next train
Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead
I always wanted a real home with flowers on the window sill
But if you want to live in New York City, honey, you know I will
You never know how it's all gonna turn out, but that's okay,
Just as long as we're together, we can find a way.
And where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow, oh
Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead"
He got through the rest of the song reasonable well because he resolutely refused to so much as think about looking at Jared.
When it was mercifully over he shoved the mike into Mike's hand and glowering at Misha, still not looking at Jared, he legged it out of the room muttering something about needing the toilet.
In reality what he needed was a little bit of space to analyze what the hell had just happened to him. Why all of a sudden he had apparently turned into a complete fuckin' girl who was apparently batshit crazy for his best friend. Seriously, he had almost fucking swooned when he'd seen the look on Jared's face while he was singing. And what was that look anyway? He decided firmly to not even start thinking about that right now. He was having enough trouble with his own feelings without worrying about Jared's as well.
He never made it to the bathroom and was instead pacing up and down the hall trying to convince himself it was the tequila and that was all when he felt Jared before he even saw him...
What was that about?
"Jen?" Jared asked softly, his voice showed that the younger man was clearly concerned about his best friend. Jensen drew in a deep breath and willed himself not to freak out right now.
"Hey Jay, erm... you know where the bathroom is in this damned place I think I'm lost." he said in an attempt to hide the truth. His smile didn't reach his eyes though and he was having trouble breathing right now because the sight of Jared, with his goofy smile and wide eyes, was turning him to mush. And he was fairly certain in this moment that it wasn't the damned tequila... sadly.
"Ah, yeah it's just there" Jared replied, an amused smirk playing at his lips as he pointed to a door directly to Jensen's left.
Wonderful he thought, now he either thinks I'm an idiot or knows I'm lying to him. He wasn't sure which was the most upsetting.
"Jen, that song.. I just wanna say, you know, thanks. It was really nice, you did a great job" Jared was rushing the words like he was nervous and wasn't sure how to say what he was wanting to. And it made Jensen smile in spite of himself. If Jay had liked the song then whatever else was going on, might just have been worth it.
"Stupid Misha" Jensen replied with a snap, but his eyes told Jared that he really didn't mind the choice of song so much any more.
"Yeah, tell me about it, why do you think he made you sing that one? I'd have chosen Chad or something just because Chad would have been such a Douche about it.." he laughed and then frowned suddenly. "I mean.. I'm glad it... was you. Didn't mean I wanted Chad to be singing it... " he mumbled as he took a step down the hall and closed some of the space between Jensen and himself.
Jensen just sort of stared stupidly at Jared, and tried to tell himself he hadn't been hurt when Jared suggested Chad would have been a better choice. And he practically had to scream at himself to stop himself from doing cartwheels when Jared said he was glad it was him not Chad. Cause, yeah, that reaction might be a little hard to explain...
"Whatever man, I mean, doesn't really matter who sung the stupid thing anyway. Misha just wanted to embarrass you" he said, as he tried to keep the growl out of his voice. He didn't mean for it to sound so nasty, but he was on an knife edge as to how much more his nerves could take tonight. And if he couldn't convince himself, then maybe he could at least convince Jared that the stupid song had meant nothing.
"Ah... Yeah, right, ok then" Jared replied weakly, clearly hurt, the kicked puppy look crossing his face had Jensen feeling like a right asshole and strangely, he wanted to go and kiss the look right off of Jared's face... OK WHAT THE FUCK!! He screamed at himself... and then that little voice was back.. least it explains why you're not all crushed and shattered over Danni ending things
"Right I'm just gonna..." Jared started as he motioned behind him and made to turn back to the lounge.
"Wait" Jensen said softly and closed the distance between them faster than he would have thought possible. "Jay I'm sorry" He murmured softly as he gazed up at Jared's eyes from just in front of him now. He was so close he could feel his warmth and it made Jensen feel warm and fuzzy, like he'd suddenly curled up safe and warm in a cuddly blanket.
"It meant something, ok, I.. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I just.. I'm just feeling a little weird right now, yeah? Think it was too much tequila, and this whole breaking up with Danni thing."
He shrugged and then suddenly realised how close he was to Jared and how much of a pansy he had just sounded like. So he stepped back suddenly and added with a grin. "Think I just need to go get laid or something, get over her you know, where the hell is Misha hiding all the women!" He laughed softly and waited for Jared to join in and agree with him.
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Jared had tensed up the moment Jensen had come into his personal space. He loved it when the man was in his personal space. Hell he loved it almost as much as he loved Jensen. It had taken him years to work it out, what he was feeling, and months to accept it. Because seriously dude, it had been a hell of a shock. He wasn't gay, he'd never, ever felt this way for another dude. But Jensen he had realised eventually, was not just some guy. And so he'd learned to live with how he felt. Problem was... Jensen had no idea, and he clearly didn't feel the same way. Jared was ok with that... sort of. He had him as his best friend, that would do, it was enough, and it was sure as hell better than nothing.
His heart had almost exploded this morning when Jen had given him a puppy for his birthday. He wasn't sure why it meant so much to him, just that it really, really did. And then... that song... Oh god, he had let it all show in his face as Jensen was singing. Anyone and his dog would have been able to see the way Jared really felt about the man after seeing the way he looked at him.
The way Jensen had looked at Jared while he was singing, even if it was only for a moment, had made Jared's stomach bottom out. And more than that, it had made him hope... hope for the first time, that maybe Jensen wasn't as opposed to the idea as he had thought.
So when Jen had run out like his ass was on fire after the song was done, Jared had a thought that it wasn't cause he needed the bathroom. And he had needed to make sure his friend was ok. He ignored the shocked looks from Chad, Mike and Chris, and he snorted at the amused, smug look on Misha's pretty boy face and come after Jensen.
Now though, he huffed as Jensen stepped back and his eyes when cold and hurt for a moment, which he hoped the other man wouldn't see and he jerked his head in a non-committal motion.
"Yeah well, why don't you go ask him then" he scoffed and tried really hard to keep the disappointment from his tone. "Or better yet, why don't you go out, it's early, bet the others won't mind, this party sort of blows anyway huh..." he says doing his best imitation of genuine and nonchalant. As though Jensen wasn't smacking his feelings about the fucking hall like they were a tennis ball.
"Jay?" Jensen asked, and Jared refused to look at the older man. Pushing past him and moving to the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it before he could do or say anything even more stupid than he already had done.
"Just go Jen, leave me to pee in peace would ya" he snapped through the door.
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Jensen stared after Jared for a few moments trying to process what had just happened. He slowly made his way back to the lounge, frowning and trapped inside his own head. He sat down and didn't even notice the looks the others were giving him.
"Where's gianormo?" Chad asked him cheerily, always completely oblivious to when others might not be in the mood to talk.
"Bathroom" Jensen snapped as he grabbed a beer and downed half of it in one go. He suddenly felt stupidly tired and wanted nothing more than to curl up and go to sleep.
"Right, what now Jared?" Misha asked suddenly. Snapping Jensen out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw that Jared was back, his heart fluttering a little at the sight of him. He gave Jared a warm smile and felt his gut drop when all he got back in return was an angry glare.
"Well Jensen here wants to go fuck, reckons you need to start supplying the ladies" he said and his tone couldn't have been more caustic if it'd actually been made of acid.
The others just stared at Jared. Except for Misha who just laughed. Fucking Misha Jensen thought again.
"Yeah well Jenny is just gonna have to keep his dick in his pants tonight" Misha replied happily and leaned back into the couch with a grin.
"Right, if you'll excuse me, I need to talk to Jared" Jensen said suddenly, jumping up and walking out of the room, one hand dragging at Jared's arm as he went.
"Fuck off, don't drag me around asshole" Jared snapped at him as he jerked his arm out of Jensen's grip. Even though he'd allowed Jensen to pull him into the kitchen and he shut the door behind them so they were alone.
"Shut up would you" Jensen retorted angrily. Anger was easier than anything else he might be feeling right now. "What the hell was that about?"
"What was what about?" Jared asked as though he had no idea what Jensen was talking about, and that just pissed Jensen off more.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about Jay. What you have to say that to everyone like that?" he wasn't even sure why he was so upset about it.
"Oh you mean the you wanting to go fuck a chick thing? Just helping a friend out is all..." Jared threw back at him. His tone showing that helping out was the last thing he'd meant by it.
"Bullshit Jared" Jensen said, his voice way louder than he'd have liked. As he stepped closer to Jared and glared up at him. He was close now, too close. Jensen could feel his hot breath on his face because Jared was as angry and worked up as he was and both were breathing heavily.
"Why'd you do it?" He repeated.
"I don't have to talk to you about this shit Jensen" Jared snapped and moved to open the door as though he was going to leave.
"Oh fuck no you don't get out of this that easy" Jensen snarled and grabbed Jared by the arm, slamming him back into kitchen door and held him down by the shoulders, standing close enough that he could use his body to stop Jared moving if he had to.
"You're gonna talk to me right now, and tell me what is going on in that brain of your's Jared. Because you are not that person, you tried to deliberately embarrass me in there and I want to know why."
Jared looked like he was going to fight back for a moment and Jensen readied himself for it, as Jared glared at him. And then something worse, much worse happened.. Jared sort of just folded in on himself and the fight left his body, his eyes. His gaze was sad and hurt and miserable and his shoulders slumped heavily. It was a look that Jensen had never seen on his friend before and Jesus, he never wanted to see it there again. And it pained him that he was fairly sure he was the cause of it. Even if he couldn't understand how he'd gotten Jared to look like his heart was breaking.
"Jay?" Jensen whispered softly, his grip on Jared's arms easing up a little. No longer intent on holding Jared before him if he didn't want to be there. He looked at Jared, studying him, eye's silently begging the man to tell him what was wrong.
"I love you" Jared whispered so softly, so sadly that Jensen had to consider if he'd actually said it at all. He knew he had though and the sadness in his voice as he admitted something that to Jensen was simply the best three words anyone had ever said to him, broke something in Jensen.
All of a sudden he realised that all the denial and fear and bullshit he'd been working on all night was fucking stupid. He loved Jared, he was in love with him. And he was fairly sure he had been for a long while too. It would explain a lot of things he'd never allowed himself to focus on before.
Jensen didn't realise he'd been staring at Jared in silence for so long until he heard Jared whimper and choke on a sob quietly and try to pull himself away from Jensen.
"Wait, Jay... just please wait, give me a sec can you?" Jensen whispered through a choked breath. He gripped Jared's shoulders harder again and looked at him pleadingly. "Just need a moment yeah? Please don't go"
Jared stilled and closed his eyes and Jensen could see he was trying really hard not to cry. It was this sight that finally sealed it for Jensen and even though he was terrified about what came next he didn't care.
He leaned in slowly, pressing his body softly into Jared's, melding himself to Jay's chest like he had been made to fit there. His arms moved slowly from Jared's shoulders and wrapped tightly around his waist and he gave Jared a smile that showed his friend just how happy he felt here like this in his arms.
"I love you too you stupid over grown puppy" he murmured as he nuzzled along Jared's jaw line before pulling back to look up at him. "Guess I just needed some stupid song to show me just how much..."
He paused and for a brief moment he worried Jared would changed his mind, that he'd still pull away from him. He didn't need to worry for long though, because the smile Jared gave him next made his knees weak and he wondered how he'd been so blind for so damned long. He laughed, he couldn't help himself, and soon Jared was laughing too, having pulled Jensen even closer into a rib cracking hug and Jensen couldn't care less if he couldn't breath.
The next thing he knew he really couldn't breath because Jared was kissing him. Soft, tentative, nervous almost. His lips ghosting over Jensen's, and they were so soft and so right that it caught him off guard.
"God..." he breathed against Jared's lips before he couldn't stand the softness anymore and leaned up into the kiss, deepening it, lips pressing harder against Jared's, tongue running slowly over Jared's top lip, begging him silently to let him in. He couldn't stop the moan that ran up his throat when he felt Jared open for him and the other mans tongue come out to meet his. The moment he tasted Jared on his tongue he lost all semblance of control, the kiss becoming hot, hard, passionate, hungry. Jensen felt fire burning through him and all he could do was hang on to Jared and gasp even now and then for a much needed breath before diving back into the most amazing kiss he'd ever had. How had they never done this before, he kept thinking and then begrudging all the time they'd wasted.
He needed more, wanted all of Jared, and he wanted it now. He didn't even care they were in Misha's kitchen with their friends only a door away... He was about to tell Jared something to that effect when he heard a light knocking on the door behind them and groaned into Jared's mouth.
"Just wanted to inform you two, that if you fornicate on my kitchen table I will be forced to sue for damages and reversible emotional turmoil." Misha dead panned through the door and they could hear him walking away again.
Jensen broke the kiss and buried his head into Jared's chest with a groan of annoyance.
"Fucking Misha" he said, this time out loud and Jared chuckled above him. His head bent down and he nuzzled in beside Jensen's ear.
"Aww, I don't know baby, I reckon I kinda like the guy..." and Jensen snorted into Jared's shirt and still didn't lift his head. Not quite ready to move from this place, because now he's here like this, with Jared holding him, head buried against his neck, Jared's hair brushing his face softly, the smell of him everywhere. Jensen realises he never wants to be anywhere else ever again.
Jensen knew why Jared said he liked Misha right now though... it was because, as much as it pains him to admit it, they were wrapped around each other right now because that asshole had made him sing that song... so yeah, ok, maybe Jensen kinda likes Misha right now too. Though be fucked if he'll ever admit it to the man himself.
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Part 3
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