Okay, so

[killersmart1]

I want to write an e-mail to Walter to let him know that he hurt me. I think that's appropriate. However, I'm not sure how much of my emotion I should reveal. It's kinda humiliating to tell someone who apparently didn't care for you as much as you did for them that that is the case. I think he needs to know that he made a bad assumption (i.e., poly

Comments

[scumbagstyle]

if you want my opinion, i wouldn't write the email. if you're damned sure in your assertions, then his bullshit should not have hurt you, because it is straight up ignorant. even if it DID hurt you (which i believe) you don't tell a dude that because (take it from a proud, arrogant, chauvenist) he will absolutely take it as an affirmation that you feel the same way and that you're ashamed of yourself. i know it sounds ridiculous, but the less affected you appear, the better it will come out for you. it will eat him up, and you won't have to wonder how he feels. letting someone know they hurt you just means their ignorant opinion matters to you, and makes you look weaker in comparison.

this is just where i come from. i've just noticed how guys like us are manipulated and have been SUPER successful in counteracting it. i have no qualms with throwing a weaker man under the bus for my friends, however.

good luck, kiddo.

[khyros]

Most people in this situation want to write something because they're hurting and they don't know what to do and they just want to do SOMETHING to make themselves feel better. Either they just want the other person to understand, implicitly or explicitly with the thought that s/he will hurt about it too, and that some sense of parity will make them feel better. This isn't a good reason to do this, and it seldom has the desired effect, so I'm generally against sending emails like this. He didn't understand you when you were in a relationship. One letter after the fact is going to change this? I don't think so

[scumbagstyle]

agreement!

[khyros]

Additionally ::hugs:: I'm so sorry this still hurts like this.