After the Rain (1/?)
Disclaimer
Thanks to diamond9697 and pauperscribe for the beta.
+++++++++
It's raining again, a freak summer storm that's giving the city a break from the heat. The steady drumming of the water against the window lulls Ethan Mars into an almost trance-like state, taking him back to a time when the longer it rained, the more he had to lose. It's been five years since his son, Shaun, was taken by the Origami Killer. Five years since he was forced to prove just how far he would go in order to save the life of someone he loved.
The twinge in his left hand interrupts his thoughts, and Ethan looks down at the stump that's all that remains of his left pinkie finger. The killer had forced him to cut off his own finger in order to gain information about the location of his abducted son, just one of five trials the psychopathic bastard had forced him to endure. The finger always seems to act up when it rains, and he wonders if the cause is physical or psychological. Maybe it's both. He tells himself he should ask his therapist, but that specific topic never comes up once he's sitting in her office. She prefers to talk to him about his social life - or lack, thereof - or why he's so content to merely exist rather than live. He brings up as a rebuttal the horror he went through, how he was forced to face death in an effort to save Shaun from drowning at the hands of a madman who had enough psychological demons to fill a book. In fact, that book had been written about a year after Shaun's rescue. The severity of childhood trauma as it related to psychosis was explored and, in Ethan's opinion, the author had attempted to excuse the actions of a serial killer. The same killer who had kidnapped and drowned eight innocent boys because he had wanted to test just how far their fathers would be willing to go in order to save them. There was some solace in the fact the killer hadn't benefited in any way from the book because he had been killed during Shaun's rescue, but the publicity surrounding the man was still irksome. Ethan had made the mistake of reading the book, and when he wrote a scathing letter to the publisher, detailing the trials he had endured for the sake of his child, he had been offered a book deal of his own. His first instinct had been to turn down the offer, but after talking to his ex-wife, Grace, the advance money had been too enticing to reject. She told him about college funds and putting away something for the future. The cynical part of Ethan's brain knew she wanted her own payday, but, in the end, the desire to secure Shaun's future won out. Ethan had agreed to work with one of the publishing house's best true crime writers and had told his story.
The response had been immediate and overwhelming to a man who had at one point merely wanted to remain hidden so he could keep his family safe. It turned out that the public had been waiting with anticipation for the father of the Origami Killer's last intended victim to tell his story. They had already heard from the FBI agent, Norman Jayden, through numerous television interviews and magazine articles, and they'd heard from the reporter, Madison Paige, when she'd written her tell-all about her part in the search for and rescue of Shaun Mars. While Jayden and Paige had met with a good deal of success, it turned out that the first person account of what had happened to Shaun and Ethan was the pièce de résistance readers had been craving. Ethan had been thrust into the spotlight, interviewed by anyone with a talk show it seemed, as well as put on a 20-city book tour. All of it had been difficult for him, but meeting strangers who felt as if they knew him because they'd read about the most harrowing time of his life was disconcerting at the least, and torture at the worst times. Still, he'd done as he'd been told and had survived. At least those trials hadn't been as painful as the ones the Origami Killer had put him through.
That thought brings a grim smile to his face, and he notices that the rain has stopped, as has the pain in his hand. He gets up to get himself a scotch and swears that it's the chill in the air that's making his hand tremble as he pours. Deep down, he knows better, but he can't let himself start to spiral. Not again. Shaun is spending the summer with his grandparents in Vermont, so he doesn't have to worry about scaring his boy with his sullen moods and bouts of deep depression. This time, he wants to try and fight it for his own sanity. One more crash and he's certain he'll never be able to crawl back out of it.
Ethan knows the problem has many causes, but the underlying one is clear to him. No matter how much money he makes or how much he reassures himself that Shaun will never be in that kind of danger again, he can't shake the fear that no one he loves is ever truly safe. That's another thing he's working through with his therapist. Not even Grace knows the trouble he's having, but she wasn't ever a victim of the Origami Killer, not the way he and Shaun were. Ethan's attempts to convey to her the horror of that time have always been met with protestations and admonishments about living in the past. She's had no problem moving on, having remarried two years earlier. According to Shaun, he's going to be a big brother in a matter of months. Ethan had heard the news secondhand. It was expected since he and Grace are no longer together - haven't been since their older son Jason's death six months before Shaun was kidnapped - but he can admit it stings a little to know that she's having such an easy time putting the past behind her. Ethan can't even bring himself to spend time with friends, let alone fall in love, and he supposes he resents Grace for not sharing in his suffering.
It hasn't always been this way. Right after Shaun's rescue, when Ethan had saved his son and they had moved into this very apartment, things had been good. He had felt genuinely happy to be alive for the first time since he'd lost his firstborn when he was hit by a car. But it didn't take long for things to deteriorate once the nightmares started. His therapist said it was post-traumatic stress disorder, and had put him on medication to counter the symptoms. He'd also started intensive therapy to help him learn how to cope, but none of it really helped all that much. A panic attack brought on by a sudden rainstorm during one of his book tour stops had made it clear to him he'd never really be rid of his demons. That particular appearance had been rescheduled and his handler ("the warden," as he'd dubbed her) had assured him no damage had been done, but he knew better. He hadn't been able to hold down a job after the accident that claimed Jason, and that had certainly not changed after Ethan had faced the Origami Killer's trials. His brush with celebrity had gotten him some consultation jobs with assorted architects on various building projects, but even those have dried up now. The warden had suggested at one time during the tour that he should collaborate with Madison Paige or Norman Jayden on a book, but he didn't see the point in telling the same story for the fourth time. Now, he wishes he'd considered it a little more seriously. It's probably too late and that particular ship has most likely sailed. It does get him thinking about the reporter and the FBI agent, though, as he sits in the darkened living room, slowly sipping his drink.
Madison Paige had been there to act as nursemaid in the midst of the tests the killer had put Ethan through. Their meeting had been chance, and she had tended his wounds without hesitation. They had even consummated their relationship, only to have things fall apart when Ethan had found out that she was a reporter who knew exactly who he was and not just some good Samaritan who took photographs for a living. No matter the reasons she had given for deceiving him, he couldn't get past the lie. They'd stayed friendly for a little while, but then she'd ridden the wave of publicity surrounding her book on the Origami Killer and success had taken her on a different path. When Ethan's book had come out, she had met him at one of his signings, but he'd suspected that was just to get herself a little screen time on a few news shows, some mentions in a few papers, and a lot of self-promotion. Nothing more had come of it and she hadn't seemed interested in more than taking a few photos with him and moving on. It was probably just as well. He knows he won't ever fully trust her again.
The person Ethan's actually interested in seeing again is Agent Norman Jayden. The man had been instrumental in saving Shaun's life. Not only had Norman helped Ethan escape from the police station when he was being beaten by a rogue lieutenant to gain a confession he couldn't give, but he'd saved Ethan's life at the warehouse when the Origami Killer had shown up to put a bullet in his head just as he was about to save Shaun from drowning. Without any concern for his own safety, Jayden had single-handedly taken on the serial killer and come close to losing his own life in the process. Thankfully, it was the killer who had died that night at the hands of the agent. In the aftermath of the rescue operation, Ethan had never really gotten the chance to sit down with Jayden and thank him for everything he'd done. He had managed to avidly follow the interviews and news stories about the agent until Norman had simply faded away from public view. Where once the photogenic agent had graced countless magazine covers, and tabloids had speculated about his personal life to the point of absurdity, there had suddenly been nothing. Norman Jayden had always seemed like a reluctant celebrity to Ethan, but it still seemed odd when the agent had vanished from everyone's radar. Using the few connections he'd made in the publishing world, Ethan had found out that Jayden had left the Bureau under mysterious circumstances, the most widespread rumor being that he'd been forced into rehab out of the country. Beyond that, nothing was known about the agent, and Ethan had been left with no choice but to settle for not knowing anything more about the man who had done so much for him. On days when it rains, Ethan wonders if Madison or Norman ever think about that time in their lives. For some reason, he feels it's more likely the FBI agent does.
Thanks to diamond9697 and pauperscribe for the beta.
+++++++++
It's raining again, a freak summer storm that's giving the city a break from the heat. The steady drumming of the water against the window lulls Ethan Mars into an almost trance-like state, taking him back to a time when the longer it rained, the more he had to lose. It's been five years since his son, Shaun, was taken by the Origami Killer. Five years since he was forced to prove just how far he would go in order to save the life of someone he loved.
The twinge in his left hand interrupts his thoughts, and Ethan looks down at the stump that's all that remains of his left pinkie finger. The killer had forced him to cut off his own finger in order to gain information about the location of his abducted son, just one of five trials the psychopathic bastard had forced him to endure. The finger always seems to act up when it rains, and he wonders if the cause is physical or psychological. Maybe it's both. He tells himself he should ask his therapist, but that specific topic never comes up once he's sitting in her office. She prefers to talk to him about his social life - or lack, thereof - or why he's so content to merely exist rather than live. He brings up as a rebuttal the horror he went through, how he was forced to face death in an effort to save Shaun from drowning at the hands of a madman who had enough psychological demons to fill a book. In fact, that book had been written about a year after Shaun's rescue. The severity of childhood trauma as it related to psychosis was explored and, in Ethan's opinion, the author had attempted to excuse the actions of a serial killer. The same killer who had kidnapped and drowned eight innocent boys because he had wanted to test just how far their fathers would be willing to go in order to save them. There was some solace in the fact the killer hadn't benefited in any way from the book because he had been killed during Shaun's rescue, but the publicity surrounding the man was still irksome. Ethan had made the mistake of reading the book, and when he wrote a scathing letter to the publisher, detailing the trials he had endured for the sake of his child, he had been offered a book deal of his own. His first instinct had been to turn down the offer, but after talking to his ex-wife, Grace, the advance money had been too enticing to reject. She told him about college funds and putting away something for the future. The cynical part of Ethan's brain knew she wanted her own payday, but, in the end, the desire to secure Shaun's future won out. Ethan had agreed to work with one of the publishing house's best true crime writers and had told his story.
The response had been immediate and overwhelming to a man who had at one point merely wanted to remain hidden so he could keep his family safe. It turned out that the public had been waiting with anticipation for the father of the Origami Killer's last intended victim to tell his story. They had already heard from the FBI agent, Norman Jayden, through numerous television interviews and magazine articles, and they'd heard from the reporter, Madison Paige, when she'd written her tell-all about her part in the search for and rescue of Shaun Mars. While Jayden and Paige had met with a good deal of success, it turned out that the first person account of what had happened to Shaun and Ethan was the pièce de résistance readers had been craving. Ethan had been thrust into the spotlight, interviewed by anyone with a talk show it seemed, as well as put on a 20-city book tour. All of it had been difficult for him, but meeting strangers who felt as if they knew him because they'd read about the most harrowing time of his life was disconcerting at the least, and torture at the worst times. Still, he'd done as he'd been told and had survived. At least those trials hadn't been as painful as the ones the Origami Killer had put him through.
That thought brings a grim smile to his face, and he notices that the rain has stopped, as has the pain in his hand. He gets up to get himself a scotch and swears that it's the chill in the air that's making his hand tremble as he pours. Deep down, he knows better, but he can't let himself start to spiral. Not again. Shaun is spending the summer with his grandparents in Vermont, so he doesn't have to worry about scaring his boy with his sullen moods and bouts of deep depression. This time, he wants to try and fight it for his own sanity. One more crash and he's certain he'll never be able to crawl back out of it.
Ethan knows the problem has many causes, but the underlying one is clear to him. No matter how much money he makes or how much he reassures himself that Shaun will never be in that kind of danger again, he can't shake the fear that no one he loves is ever truly safe. That's another thing he's working through with his therapist. Not even Grace knows the trouble he's having, but she wasn't ever a victim of the Origami Killer, not the way he and Shaun were. Ethan's attempts to convey to her the horror of that time have always been met with protestations and admonishments about living in the past. She's had no problem moving on, having remarried two years earlier. According to Shaun, he's going to be a big brother in a matter of months. Ethan had heard the news secondhand. It was expected since he and Grace are no longer together - haven't been since their older son Jason's death six months before Shaun was kidnapped - but he can admit it stings a little to know that she's having such an easy time putting the past behind her. Ethan can't even bring himself to spend time with friends, let alone fall in love, and he supposes he resents Grace for not sharing in his suffering.
It hasn't always been this way. Right after Shaun's rescue, when Ethan had saved his son and they had moved into this very apartment, things had been good. He had felt genuinely happy to be alive for the first time since he'd lost his firstborn when he was hit by a car. But it didn't take long for things to deteriorate once the nightmares started. His therapist said it was post-traumatic stress disorder, and had put him on medication to counter the symptoms. He'd also started intensive therapy to help him learn how to cope, but none of it really helped all that much. A panic attack brought on by a sudden rainstorm during one of his book tour stops had made it clear to him he'd never really be rid of his demons. That particular appearance had been rescheduled and his handler ("the warden," as he'd dubbed her) had assured him no damage had been done, but he knew better. He hadn't been able to hold down a job after the accident that claimed Jason, and that had certainly not changed after Ethan had faced the Origami Killer's trials. His brush with celebrity had gotten him some consultation jobs with assorted architects on various building projects, but even those have dried up now. The warden had suggested at one time during the tour that he should collaborate with Madison Paige or Norman Jayden on a book, but he didn't see the point in telling the same story for the fourth time. Now, he wishes he'd considered it a little more seriously. It's probably too late and that particular ship has most likely sailed. It does get him thinking about the reporter and the FBI agent, though, as he sits in the darkened living room, slowly sipping his drink.
Madison Paige had been there to act as nursemaid in the midst of the tests the killer had put Ethan through. Their meeting had been chance, and she had tended his wounds without hesitation. They had even consummated their relationship, only to have things fall apart when Ethan had found out that she was a reporter who knew exactly who he was and not just some good Samaritan who took photographs for a living. No matter the reasons she had given for deceiving him, he couldn't get past the lie. They'd stayed friendly for a little while, but then she'd ridden the wave of publicity surrounding her book on the Origami Killer and success had taken her on a different path. When Ethan's book had come out, she had met him at one of his signings, but he'd suspected that was just to get herself a little screen time on a few news shows, some mentions in a few papers, and a lot of self-promotion. Nothing more had come of it and she hadn't seemed interested in more than taking a few photos with him and moving on. It was probably just as well. He knows he won't ever fully trust her again.
The person Ethan's actually interested in seeing again is Agent Norman Jayden. The man had been instrumental in saving Shaun's life. Not only had Norman helped Ethan escape from the police station when he was being beaten by a rogue lieutenant to gain a confession he couldn't give, but he'd saved Ethan's life at the warehouse when the Origami Killer had shown up to put a bullet in his head just as he was about to save Shaun from drowning. Without any concern for his own safety, Jayden had single-handedly taken on the serial killer and come close to losing his own life in the process. Thankfully, it was the killer who had died that night at the hands of the agent. In the aftermath of the rescue operation, Ethan had never really gotten the chance to sit down with Jayden and thank him for everything he'd done. He had managed to avidly follow the interviews and news stories about the agent until Norman had simply faded away from public view. Where once the photogenic agent had graced countless magazine covers, and tabloids had speculated about his personal life to the point of absurdity, there had suddenly been nothing. Norman Jayden had always seemed like a reluctant celebrity to Ethan, but it still seemed odd when the agent had vanished from everyone's radar. Using the few connections he'd made in the publishing world, Ethan had found out that Jayden had left the Bureau under mysterious circumstances, the most widespread rumor being that he'd been forced into rehab out of the country. Beyond that, nothing was known about the agent, and Ethan had been left with no choice but to settle for not knowing anything more about the man who had done so much for him. On days when it rains, Ethan wonders if Madison or Norman ever think about that time in their lives. For some reason, he feels it's more likely the FBI agent does.