I think too much

[killclosedrown]

I feel like I often come off as boring or aloof to people who don't know me well and it hinders me from meeting new people or making new friends. I think I'm actually a pretty interesting person (or at least not boring), but I always end up internalizing so much of my thoughts and ideas that I feel like I come off as completely boring. I want to

Comments

[psychicherz]

I think I got to know you first through the written word, really, so of course your personality and sense of humour was immediately obvious. Like, meeting people through LJ is strange because it's hard to separate initial impressions of them irl from who you already know them to be, but you've always seemed really interesting to me. I'm surprised, I guess, that you perceive yourself this way because it doesn't square with my impressions of you.

With that said, I can relate to an extent. I've always envied people who are naturally very outgoing and engaging. I am just a really masochistic introvert--like, because I am so not an extrovert but wish I was, I have always forced myself into situations and parties and things where I have to function like one & dressed in a way that I couldn't blend in. Even so, I'm always happier having a bff glued to my side who is a loose cannon to break the ice with people and do the initial hard work for me.

[killclosedrown]

It's different with people who I already know online. When I meet those people in person, even if it's for the first time, I already have a sense of being more comfortable because I figure that we already kinda know each other. What I said above was more referring to how I perceive myself when interacting with people I don't know at all, online or off.

All of my friends are much more socially capable than I am haha. I'm really bad at meeting new people, making new friends, and maintaining relationships (>.<)

[laceleather]

The truth is that the most successful way to make friends is to go through an experience or an event with that person. I've been working at myself as well to actually talk about the things I'm thinking of instead of internalizing them, but you really have to find the right moments to do so cause I have definitely been in situations where I shouldn't have. Sadly, a lot of people are comfortable only with a very superficial, surface-scratching level of conversation known as small talk, particularly if they're not very intelligent. So you have to start out small before really getting into interesting topics with people, you gotta feel them out where they're coming from or you could step on someone's toes. People especially like when you ask them for information, how to do something or you're interested about their life. To make yourself more interesting, it's usually good to tell stories about things that have happened to you, sharing wisdom about a certain topic.. Basically, socializing is a huge pain in the ass :

[killclosedrown]

I think one of my biggest problems is that it's hard enough for me to turn my thoughts into coherent and cohesive language even when I'm having non-casual conversation with people that I'm close to, that when I try to have actual conversation with people I don't know it's ends up turning into useless babble. That is, of course, if I don't just avoid it altogether. >.>