Repo Men/KKBB Crossover Prompt
Repo Men/KKBB Crossover
For the RDJude Kink Meme Prompt:
I've seen a couple of Repo Men/Iron Man crossovers, but how about a Repo Men/KKBB crossover?
I mean, it's fun to use Tony Stark, but what about Harry? A smart-ass, nervous nine-fingered little poor guy? You know how Remy says, "A job is a job" but how can a job be just a job when you have to Repo adorable little Harry Lockhart?
Bonus points if overprotective Perry is in it somewhere. Perhaps an established Perry/Harry relationship?
If Remy/Harry sex ensues, I'd like it to be a one-time lesson-learned event. I want Perry and Harry together. Well I'm being picky. Do as you please!
GO FORTH, AWESOME WRITERS!
AND
For the Kink Kink Bang Bang Meme Prompt: (it was actually MY prompt on that one. How embarrassing)
Anybody see it yet? If so *sing song voice* Crossover!
I'd especially love Remy trying to repo one of Harry's organs and Perry scaring him off or him falling in love with Harry or both. You guys are creative!
It irked me. It was my first thought stepping out of the car to stare at the house. A nice house. A house that belonged to somebody with money. I glanced down at my tracking device. An overdue heart attachment. Not a full-on artiforg, so it wouldn't bring in much comission, but I'd be satisfied simply because old moneybags would figure out why it was wise not to put your Union bill on the back burner.
Too bad they would figure it out too late.
I didn't bother knocking and picked the lock instead. I flung the door open like I owned the place, hoping to see some schmuck counting their money or sipping champagne. I as somewhat disappointed when the only person in sight was passed out on the sofa. I looked around before moving closer, my hand tightly on my taser-gun.
It was a man, but not rich or pompous-looking. Still, who could know? The bloke was asleep anyway. There was a nice healing gash on his forehead as well as several smaller abrasions surrounding it. I stared down at the coffee table in front of the couch-a bottle of water, two aspirins, and a note.
Harry, had to meet a client. Do your breathing exercises, take your meds, don't burn down the house.
Perry
Harry, as the note would reveal, stirred a bit and flung one arm and leg off of the couch. I would have preferered just to tase him then and get it over with without even waking him, but like all good employees, I had to follow protocol.
"Mr. Lockhart?" I tried to sound loud. I tapped his arm roughly. "Harold Lockhart?"
"Mm...!" He opened his eyes and blinked heavily. "That you, Per?"
"No." I watched as he stretched, arching his back and collapsing back onto the cushions, wincing slightly. He scratched his head, still only half-conscious.
I gave him some time to wake up, setting my kit on the tabletop and undoing the latches. "Mr. Lockhart, I'm from the Union." I glanced at him.
"Union?" He muttered, rubbing his eyes. "Okay."
"Okay," I echoed, feeling a bit awkward. He didn't seem to understand what was going on. Poor bastard. "I'm required by law to ask if you'd like an ambulance on standby to take you to the hospital before I begin."
His brows furrowed slightly. "Huh?"
"Your heart attachment artiforg," I explained, putting on gloves. "It's overdue."
Realization crossed his face and he paled. I carefully placed one hand on my kit, and the other on my waist-where my gun rested. "Would you like an ambulance?"
"No." He shook his head, his voice quivering slightly. "No, Perry-Perry paid."
"This will be easier if you lie back down," I said, ignoring his stammering excuses which I'd heard a million times before.
"Don't touch me," he warned, his back digging into the back of the sofa. "Don't fucking touch-" he was cut off when I shoved him sideways and down, back into a lying position. The taser probably wouldn't be necessary just yet.
"Do you want an ambulance?" I asked again, raising the bottom of his shirt. More scrapes and bruises.
"No," he said, squirming. "I don't want a fucking ambulance! This is bullshit, you know that?"
I noted his navel. An outtie. I'd always had a thing for them. As well as deep chocolate eyes-which he also had. Good traits utterly wasted. When I took out my taser, he stopped writhering beneath me. I was surprised. That's usually when they go feral cat on me.
"Okay," he said sighing quietly. "Do it. Just fucking do it." He quickly smeared the heel of his hand across his eyes. His ring and pinky finger were bandaged together.
"You should have paid your bill," I said, placing the tip of the taser to his chest.
"It was paid," he said. "But fuck...what do you care? You have me pinned, so what else can I say?"
"Why did you need it?" Why was I stalling was the better question.
"I got shot on a stakeout," he replied. "Three weeks ago."
That wasn't right at all. "You're four months past due," I reminded him.
"Must be a glitch in your system," he muttered. "Can you hurry? Please? I don't want Perry to see me like this." He turned his head and swallowed hard.
Speaking of Perry, somebody entered the house. I aimed my gun in the direction of the approaching footsteps. He was tall like me, but a lot broader. He immediately frowned.
"Get the fuck off of him," he told me. Not a 'who are you' or 'what do you want'.
"I'm afraid I can't do that," I told him. "Nothing personal. Just doing my job."
"You're from the Union?" He asked. "You must be new. Harry's attachment was paid in full before it was even put it in."
"Not according to our paperwork," I informed him. " One hundred and twenty days without a single payment."
"Let me show you my paperwork," He clipped. He disappeared briefly and returned with a file folder. He handed it to me.
Harry's medical bills, it read on the tab. It was pretty thick for one person's files.
I flipped it open and frowned. The very first sheet was our Union client receipt, and sure enough-the payment status was complete and in full. I looked at my tracking device again. One hundred and twenty days.
"Get off of him!" He grabbed my arm suddenly, jerking me away from Harry. I turned my gun on him.
"Shoot me," he warned. "You have no authority to do so, but I dare you."
"I need to make a call," I said cooly. "Sort some things out."
I made the call right in front of them, my gun still in view, and sure enough, our sources claimed overdue on both paperwork, tracking, and digital files. I explained that they had a hardcopy receipt that said otherwise, and I was told Harry would have to be scanned on Union location at our medical facility. Just incase there was something wrong with the chip.
"This is fucking ridiculous," Perry said after I explained it to him. "I'm not taking Harry to any Union medical facility."
"You don't have to." I went to my kit and retrieved a thick binder I seldom had to open. It was protocol, client rights-bullshit like that. I flipped it open to a certain section. " 'If the state of an artiforg may be faulty, undetermined, or possibly ilegally obtained, the Union has the right to withold property until a professional examination has been given'."
Perry's brows furrowed. "So...you're going to repo him anway, and just incase we're telling the truth, you'll give it back?"
"No." I snapped the binder shut cheerfully. "Harry's coming with me."
"Like hell!" Perry grabbed his arm and pulled him next to him. "Get out of my house."
"The artiforg is Union property until we clear it as a closed account," I reminded him. "So unless you want me to take the heart attachment and leave Harry-" I eyed Harry. "Then you'll release him to me."
"Its okay, Per," Harry muttered, patting his arm.
"Shut up," Perry told him, looking at me "I'm going to call the fucking police." He threw his arms out. "Does it look like I can't afford my bills?"
"Harold Lockhart-" I turned to Harry, deliberately acting over-professional to piss the other man off. "You signed the contract. It's your choice."
"I'll go," he muttered, looking back at Perry. He shrugged helplessly. "What else can I do?"
"Where are you going to take him?" Perry's anger died down just a little.
"We rarely have cases like this," I said. "I'll make him an appointment for a medical scan as soon as I can, and until then, the Union will provide adequate lodging."
Perry looked at Harry, longingly, I think, and then at me. "You hurt him and I'll take every organ out of your body and-"
"Perry." Harry stopped him. "Come on..."
Perry sighed and moved out of sight. He returned with a small bag. "His medicine." He looked at Harry. "Do your breathing exercises."
"I will." Harry nodded.
------
"So you were you shot on a stakeout, you said?" Talk about an awkward car ride. Never had I had to tote around a client I was supposed to have already sliced open, and probably still would.
"Why are you trying to make conversation with me?" Harry frowned, staring into space. "Do you get to know your steaks while they're still cows too?"
"It would help..." I waved my hand around. "The situation perhaps, if I knew more about your artiforg."
Harry shrugged one shoulder. "Perry's a private detective. I'm his assistant." He looked at me. "I'm also a magnet for guns, and brass knuckles, and switchblades, and baseball bats."
"Jesus!" I chuckled. "So that explains the cuts and bruises, I guess."
Surprisingly, he chuckled too. "Nobody touches Perry."
I wasn't exactly sure where I was supposed to take him, so I took him home with me. After Carol kicked me out, I'd gotten my own place, and it was surprisingly alluring to have company-no matter the circumstances. I led him inside and closed the door behind us.
"You know," I said. "I saw the house, and..." I let my arms fall to my side. "I believe you."
"You do." He didn't say it like a question, exactly. It's like he expected it.
"Yah." I shrugged. "I don't think you're in any real danger."
"Huh." He nodded, looking around. He noted the picture of Peter.
"My son," I explained. "Just turned nine a month ago."
"Same age as my niece back home," he murmered, picking up the photo and examining it. "I mean, hell, she could be my daughter. My brother had issues...I kept her for about a year."
"Do you miss her?" I asked. I'd never known anyone to lose full contact with their child.
"All the time," he said, smiling sadly. He put the picture back.
"Would you like something to drink?" I was already at the bar. "Beer? Wine? Scotch?"
He shook his head and tapped his chest. "No thanks."
I should have remembered that artiforg patients were to avoid alcohol for at least three months. I poured myself a scotch and gestured for him to sit on the couch. He did so. I sat beside him and passed him the remote control. He stared at it, and then the blank TV screen.
"How do you do this?" He asked.
"Oh, um-" I pointed. "This green button at the top, see-"
"No." He smiled and closed his eyes. When he opened them, and turned back to me, I couldn't look away. "I mean, your job. How do you do it?"
"Are you talking technical-wise or conscience-wise?" I sipped at my drink, grinning. "I get asked both."
"Do you ever think that maybe the people you...repo have kids?" He looked away. "Wives, siblings, friends...do you ever think about them?"
"It's easier if you don't know them," I answered truthfully, quietly. "But somebody's gotta do it."
"I guess." He sighed, leaning back into the cushions. He tossed the remote back to me. "Do you mind if I call Perry? Just let him know I'm...okay?"
"You're not a prisoner, Harry." I grinned, taking another drink. "Call 'im."
He took out his phone and I turned my attention to the TV, pretending to occupy myself in a movie. Harry talked quietly, but I could hear Perry bitching on the other end. I almost grinned. What a joke, this Perry Van Shrike. He said a few things, and finally told Perry in an unsure but stressed confident voice, "I'm hanging up now, Perry. I'll see you soon."
"So are you two...?" I waved my hand between the two of us, trying to give him an idea.
"Perry and me-" He seemed surprised, and then grinned. "No. I mean, everybody thinks that because we live together and work together, but we're just good friends."
I nodded.
"I mean, he's my best friend," Harry explained. He grew quiet and stared into space. "You know I would like a drink."
"I have Sprite in the fridge," I offered, trying to hint that he was to have no alcohol.
"Sprite sounds good." He started to get up, but I stopped him.
"I'll get it," I said.
------
I was able to schedule him a medical scan and background check for Friday. It was Wednesday. Two days. He only seemed a little disappointed, and I wasn't sure what to tell him when he asked, "Can I go home and just come back?"
"I would let you," I lied. "But my boss...this asshole...he's strict on protocol, you know?"
"No, I understand," Harry said. He looked around. "Ah...so you think I'm good?" He laughed nervously. "Don't think I'm gonna get my heart ripped out?"
"I think you're safe," I replied. "Just a glitch, most likely."
The truth was, Frank had told me to just get the attachment. He asked a lot about Perry too, which was strange because other than the name on the payment, Perry had nothing to do with Harry's artiforg. I told him that it was procedure we get a scan, and after some hesitation, he said, "Fine, but don't let him go back to Perry just yet."
"So I guess I'll be taking the couch?" Harry stared at the couch.
"I'll take the couch," I offered. "You can take my bed. Just let me throw some sheets on it." I laughed. "Ever since I got divorced, I pretty much stopped taking care of myself."
"Me too," he said.
I stopped. "You were divorced.
"A long time ago," he explained quickly. "Only married for six months."
"What happened?" I asked.
"She cheated on me," he said, looking down. "Four times. Never wanted to go to marriage counseling. Said I was an 'emotional cling-on'."
I knew he was expecting me to respond to his story, but what was I supposed to say? Oh my wife didn't like it that I ripped people open for a living.
"Let me get you those sheets," I said.
"Thanks."
To Be Continued...
Onto Part 2: http://kikamontanez.livejournal.com/29144.html