Shaggy Dog/KKBB Prompt Fill
Shaggy Dog/KKBB Prompt Fill
Author's note: Okay, I'd like to give some credit to another author, Lucritus, who also wrote this prompt. I loosely followed the storyline she was taking (hers is better, WAY better-read it por favor), so credit given. Other than that, I hope you enjoy!
"Uggghhhh!!!!!!!!"
Harr didn't even avert his gaze from the television screen when he heard Perry snarl and kick one of the trashcans outside. THe kicking went on for a while and Harry simply ignored it, picking up the remote and increasing the volume.
Perry re-entered the house through the kitchen door, slamming it behind him as he stormed into the living room and stood off to the side, huffing. Harry asked casually, and somewhat absent-mindedly, "What's wrong?"
"Fucking dog got into the garbage again," Perry sighed, collapsing onto the couch beside him. "Shit was strewn all over the back porch."
Harry looked away from the TV. " 'mm sorry." He smiled, making his face into a slight pout. He leaned his head on Perry's shoulder. "If it makes you feel any better, I had one eat my finger."
Perry snorted, staring into space as he stroked some of Harry's unkempt hair. He leaned his head back and said, "I'm going to buy one of those animal traps."
Harry's brows furrowed slightly. "What? Like the kind made for raccoons and shit?"
"Fucking fifth night in a row, Harry!" Perry sounded exasperated. "I'm tired of playing mind games with some phantom canine. I'm trapping it and calling animal control."
----
Perry was as good as his word. The following day, he went to the Home Depot and bought a large trap crate and put it out with the evening garbage. He continued to peek out the kitchen door window, waiting.
"Anything yet?" Harry yawned, moving past him towards the fridge. He began to drink straight from the milk carton.
"Use a glass," Perry ordered without even looking at him. "And no, nothing yet."
Still holding the carton, Harry made his way over to the door and squeezed himself against Perry, peeking out. He pointed at tapped the glass. Perry squinted. A wooly sheepdog trotted across the lawn, up to the patio. It stopped a few feet away from the cage-the garbage bags inside.
"Step in, you little bastard," Perry muttered.
"You think he knows what it is?" Harry muttered back. He frowned. "Why are we talking so quietly anyway?"
Perry shushed him and pointed to the dog, who turned heel, well paw, and started back the other way. Perry scowled. "Oh, fuck no!" He pulled Harry to the side and opened the door.
"Perry?" Harry followed him outside. He stopped, confusion written all over his face. Perry was actually chasing the dog across the yard.
"Don't you just stand there!" The P.I. ordered. "Help me!"
The dog genuinely seemed frightened, making sounds between whines and growls as it evaded Perry. Harry licked his lips and squatted down, whistling. He slapped the ground a few times.
"Grab it!" Perry said, tripping over the animal. Luckily he kept his footing.
"Are you kidding?" Harry scoffed. "What if it bites me?"
Perry chased the beast right into the animal crate and the trap door snapped shut. He punched the air, laughing. Wiping sweat from his forehead, he turned to Harry. "Look at it."
"Yah," Harry said, a sarcastically sweet smile plastered on his face. "How nice-a dog in a cage, scared out of it's fucking mind."
"It was tearing into our garbage," Perry said, rolling his eyes. "And this may come as a surprise to the one who gets to sleep in, but it's a pain in the ass to the one who has to clean it up every Goddamn morning."
The dog growled pitifully, cramped in the almost too-small cage. Harry stared at it, and so did Perry. He then stared at Harry, staring at the dog.
"Harry, it's a dog," he sighed. "We'll call animal control in the morning..." he scuffed the back of Harry's head, taking his arm and pulling him to his feet.
"Look at the poor thing," Harry said. "You want to keep it tetrised like that all night?"
"It's just for one night," Perry argued. "Come on, Harry-"
"Yah," Harry sighed, nodding. "Poor bastard."
Perry smiled a little, relieved that Harry didn't throw a hissy about it, and rubbed the back of his head affectionately. They went inside, shutting and locking the door behind them.
----
"Hey, Perry." Harry groggily shook the sleeping figure beside him. "Perry?"
"Mmm..." Perry stirred slightly. "What? What is it?"
"I'm gonna go check on the dog," Harry yawned, climbing over him. "Make sure it didn't kill over."
Perry frowned and closed his eyes again. "You're a mess."
Even for LA, the morning air was cool, so Harry wrapped one of Perry's bathrobes around his Tshirt and pajama bottoms before going outside. He rubbed his eyes as he opened the kitchen door, yawning loudly.
"Hey, you," he said, stepping out onto the porch. "You okay?" When he got close enough to see the cage, he jumped and staggered backwards. "SON OF A BITCH!!!"
There was no gray and white sheepdog in the crate. Instead, there was...a man? A naked man at that, face down, his limbs tucked under him uncomfortably. He raised his head, blinking heavily when he heard Harry's outburst. He quickly shot up, slamming his skull into the top of the cage. He couldn't even rub his head, it was so cramped inside.
Eyes the size of saucers, Harry dashed back into the house and flew up the stairs. He nearly jumped on Perry, shaking him violently. "Perry! Perry!"
"What?" Perry frowned at him, his face foggy with sleep.
"The d- dog!" Harry stammered.
"Is it dead?" Perry rolled over, his back to the other man.
"It's-" Harry took a deep breath. "You're going to shit."
----
He practically dragged the P.I. downstairs and outside. He stood near the door, pointing to the crate. Perry's brows furrowed. "What the fuck?"
"Let him out," Harry commanded, craning his head to get a better look.
"Who are you?" Perry asked, his fingers on the latch. He turned to Harry. "Get him so clothes and my gun."
Harry had already been halfway through the door when he heard clothes, but stopped when he heard gun. "What are you gonna shott him?
"Harry, if you're going to release a strange, naked man with a tail loose on your property, you need a weapon handy-" he eyed the man. "Just in case."
"Wait-" Harry moved towards them. "Tail?"
"Yes," the man finally spoke. "Take some pictures if you'd like, but could you go and get the clothes and gun first so that I can get out and stretch?" He smiled sarcastically at Perry. "Good morning, by the way."
-----
Harry returned with the gun and clothes. Perry held the weapon in one hand, and unlatched the cage with the other. The man extended his arm, and Harry handed him the clothes with two fingers. The man covered himself the best he could as he stood up and stretched, his limbs making several popping noises in the process. Harry and Perry both noticed several abrasions, a lot of them fine slits, littered across his upper body. He quickly dressed, and stood between the pair, staring into space.
"You have a tail," Harry finally said.
The man looked over his shouder, nodding. "Yes, yes I do."
"Who are you?" Harry asked, his brows furrowing in confusion.
"And why are you getting into my garbage every night?" Perry added dryly.
"Perry-" Harry rolled his eyes. He turned back to the man, waiting.
"He's Dr. Marcus Kozak," Perry finally answered, when the other man said nothing.
Harry frowned, still confused. Perry sighed. "Remember Grand and Strickland? Justin Forrister hired us to help him break and snoop around?"
"School teacher-right." Harry nodded. "We waited outside."
"Saw you on the news," Perry told Kozak. "You went to prison...?" He raised his eyebrows.
"No, I wish I'd gone to prison," Kozak replied, adjusting the cords of the sweat pants. "I was shipped to a government testing facility."
"Why do you have a tail?" Harry asked, still staring at it, hanging out of the back of Kozak's pants.
"Keep up, Harry!" Perry massaged his eyes with his fingertips. "He was infected with some kind of..." he turned to Kozak. "Experiment?"
"Dog DNA," Kozak replied. He turned to Harry. "Hence the tail."
"So why exactly were you raiding my trash every night?" Perry asked.
"Well that's obvious," Harry scoffed. "You're anal even about the garbage. You wrap up leftovers before tossing them out." He turned to Kozak. "Is that it?"
"Yes." Kozak scratched his head, looking away. He looked at Perry. "I'm sorry."
Perry sighed. "Um...forget it." He looked around, folding his lips in. "You want something to eat before you go? A shower maybe?"
Kozak seemed surprised by the offer. He cleared his throat and shuffled his feet bare feet. "Yes...thank you."
----
He followed Harry and Perry into the house, his tail flat against the seat of his pants. Harry looked at him, waving his hand around. "I'll get you a towel." He gestured to the sofa. "Sit."
Kozak sat on the floor. Harry's brows furrowed. Kozak stood back up, and moved over to the sofa. Harry left the room to fetch some towels and Perry entered the room from the kitchen. "Coffee?"
"What?" Kozak turned his head. "Um...sure...thanks."
"We're not going to call the cops," Perry assured him. "If that's what you're wondering."
Harry grinned as came back into the room, handing Kozak two big fluffy towels. He nodded his head at Perry. "He has a soft spot for criminals."
"Shut up." Perry thumped the side of his hand, and then pulled him against his side, kissing his temple.
Kozak fingered the towels. Harry pulled away from Perry. "Come on," he told Kozak. "I'll sow you the bathroom. The shower is fucking huge."
----
The former scientist had never been so grateful to have a hot shower. He was glad the shower was large, with sliding doors versus a curtain because against his better human judgement, he shook himself dry. He slid the door open and began to towel-dry himself, grunting and snorting as he did so. He shook again, dripping less water than before.
Harry had given him some new clothes again, this time some socks and underwear thrown in. He changed and shook his damp hiar again just before exiting the bathroom. A delicious array of smells led his nose downstairs and into the kitchen. Harry looked up from a plate of food-waffles and bacon.
"Go ahead and sit down," Perry called from his place at the stove.
Again, Kozak's bottom dropped to the floor. He moved to one of the chairs. Perry brought him a plate of waffles, some bacon, and chopped fruit. He also brought him a fresh cup of coffee.
"We don't eat like this everyday," Harry informed him. "Just once in a while."
Kozak concentrated hard on eating at a normal pace, and with a fork, but it was difficult. He tried to sip his coffee and not lick it-he lost that battle. Perry and Harry tried not to stare too much.
"So what were you arrested for?" Harry asked.
"Arson," Kozak replied. More quietly, he breathed, "and illegal animal testing."
"Did you kill them?" Harry asked.
"Just the opposite." Kozak didn't smile, but his eyes did. "Made them live forever." He didn't mention kidnapping and attempting to dissect Dave Douglas, which he really hadn't planned on doing anyway. He'd just wanted to scare him.
"And the government was..." Harry gestured with hands. "operating on you even though they knew you were a human?"
"Harry, the goverment doesn't give a rat's ass about human rights," Perry informed him. He glanced at Kozak. "So how did you escape?"
"Waited until it was late at night, thrashed around..." Kozak shrugged.
"What did they do to you?" Harry asked, remembering the slash marks.
The sound of the doorbell cut Kozak off just as he started to speak, and he shot up, jumping up and down. He growled and yelled, "Someone's at the door!"
Harry and Perry stared at him. Kozak stopped growling and cleared his throat, sitting back down. "I mean, I think I heard your doorbell."
Perry opened the door. "Hi, Harmony."
"Hey, Per," she smiled. "You and Harry still up for the movie and lunch?"
Perry inhaled sharply. He took her by the arm. "You know what? Come in." He locked the door behind her.
""What's going on?" Harmony asked as Perry dragged her into the kitchen. "Why are you so nervous?"
She noticed Kozak and he stood up slowly, sniffing loudly. A low, guttural sound came from him. A growl, Harmony realized. He bared his teeth.
"What?" Harmony stood beside Perry. "Who is this?"
"Sit, Kozak," Harry ordered.
Kozak sat. "I'm so sorry-" he began and then started snarling all over again.
"Why is he growling at me?"" Harmony's brows furrowed. " She looked at Perry.
"We're harboring a fugitive infused with dog DNA," he said simply. "We're not going to be able to make the movie, I'm afraid."
" 'Fugitive'?" Harmony repeated in disbelief. " 'Dog DNA'?"
"Would you like some waffles, Honey?" Harry asked. "Coffee maybe?"
"Sure..." Harmony made her way over as Harry stood up. As she passed Kozak, he barked at her. She jumped back, screaming.
"I'm sorry!" Kozak tore at his hair. "I am really, really sorry."
"He must smell your fear or some shit," Harry said, tugging at her arm.
------
"As he stood at the waffle iron, Harmony beside him, Harry said quietly, "He's covered in knife wounds, or scoupel wounds maybe."
"Where did he come from?" Harmony asked.
"You remember Perry bitching about a dog getting into our garbage?" Harry removed the waffles from the iron and put them on a plate.
"He mistook a grown man for a dog?" Harmony frowned.
"No, he turns into a dog," Harry explained. "I guess he's a dog by night and person by day. I dunno." He looked around. "Maple or blueberry syrup?"
Harmony set the plate back down on the countertop. "Harry!"
"What?"
"What are you going to do with him?" Harmony asked, lowering her voice once more.
Harry shrugged. "He'll probably leave. It's not like Perry offered him a room."
"You know he will, though," Harmony pointed out. "You know what a big softie Perry is when it comes to situations like this."
"Like what?" People turning into animals?" Harry replied sarcastically. He unplugged the iron. "Look, it's Perry's house, and if he decides to let him stay..." he muttered, "I'd kind of like him to stay."
"Really?" Harmony's eys widened. She took the waffles and ate them standing up. "Harry, that is so cool."
"Is it?"
Yah!" She smiled. "I mean, if he's being cut up like a birthday cake. She shrugged. "Poor guy."
They went back to the table. Kozak was still sitting, staring into his empty coffee cup. Harmony sat down across from him. "So, um..." she stopped chewing.
"Marcus," Harry helped.
"I had a dog named Marcus," Harmony blurted.
Kozak looked up, frowning. Harmony looked away. "But it's definitely a human name."
Kozak stood up. "Yes." He turned to Harry. "Tank you for letting me shower and treating me to breakfast."
"Wait." Harry stood up too. "You're leaving?" He followed him into the living room. "You're not even wearing shoes."
Perry emerged from his study, looking between Harmony and Harry. Harmony shrugged. Harry turned to Perry. "Perry, tell him he can't leave."
"You can leave whenever you like," Perry said.
"Thank you-PERRY!" He frowned. "Could you just fucking help me?"
"Harry, if he doesn't want to stay, we're not going to make him stay," Perry said simply. He turned to Kozak. "You're welcome to, if you need some time getting back on your feet."
Kozak pondered this for a moment. "Would you talk to someone for me?"
To Be Continued....