Confused mind, part 4 (UruhaXKai)
Name: Confused minds
Author: Mizuki (with other words, me^^)
Band: Gazette
Pairing: UruhaXKai, KaiX?
Rating: pg-13/R ??(I'm not sure>.>)
Chapter: 4/?
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone in this fic…*sobs*
Notes: It's been a while, since i last posted a fic ne?^^; So, I wrote this part on vacation, a few days before Kai's birthday, which explains the time this part is in^^;
Comments are highly appreciated!!
Summary: Kai and his lover break up. But the things he told Kai in their last conversation makes Kai feel confused. Does Uruha really love him, more than just close friends. Or was his ex-lover playing a trick on him??
Cross Posted at: gazette_yaoi, jrockyaoi, kaix_xkai, gaze_love, _gazerock_
Previous parts: Part 1, part 2, part 3
part 4
It has been already 2 weeks since I moved in with Uruha.
2 weeks that weren’t exactly the happiest weeks of my life.
My heart was broken and it didn’t seem to heal much the days after the break up.
Uruha did his best to cheer me up. I can’t say it didn’t worked. No, having Uruha around, doing the most sweet and ridiculous things to get even the smallest smile on my face, did cheer me up to a certain level.
But it didn’t heal my heart. He was only able to pick up the thousand pieces and put them together. Wounds still unhealed and some pieces where missing.
And the more my heart healed, the more ‘his’ words repeated in my mind.
Never in my whole life I felt so confused. I didn’t knew what to do or think.
I spend most of my free time sitting in front of the window in my new room.
Today was no exception.
It was a rainy day; and as far as I knew, Uruha was gone shopping with Aoi.
I felt sorry for them, the weather wasn’t the best to go shopping.
I sighed and leaned against the wall next to the window.
My birthday was in a few days and I hadn’t planned anything yet. I’m not sure if I’m even going to celebrate it.
But if I won’t plan anything soon, I’m sure Ruki and Uruha would.
I guess I’ll just invite the others to spend the evening here and just do random stuff with the five of us.
Last year, I had the best birthday ever.
I gave a party with some close friends. He had excused us at the middle of it, blindfolded me and led me into the forest near.
When I was allowed to look again, we where at the side of a small puddle.
Not far away from us where futons spread on the ground, surrounded by a couple of little candles.
//flashback//
“Happy birthday Kai” He whispered and kissed me, his hands gently took a hold of mine.
I could feel him shoving a little box in my hands.
I opened it slowly. It was a good thing we where both sitting because I was sure if we weren’t, I would’ve collapsed for sure.
In the box was the most beautiful necklace I’ve ever seen. It was a decorated key, on the back side where our names engraved, together with the date we got together.
“You have the key to my heart” He whispered as he pushed his shirt aside and revealed a necklace in the form of a lock.
It was similar decorated as the key he just gave me.
I had to bite my lip to keep myself from crying.
“I love you” He whispered and placed the necklace on my neck.
I replied to this by kissing him passionate, unable to say or do more. We made love through the whole night, the moon and stars where watching over us.
When we watched the sun rise in the morning, I realized I never felt so happy before.
//End of flashback//
A gasp leaves my mouth as I wake up from my trance.
Tears where streaming over my face, I hadn’t even realized I started crying…
Looking down at my hands I noticed I was tightly holding the same necklace in my hands.
My eyes followed a single tear sliding over the key, until it reached the end and fell on my hand.
It was then that I noticed the words engraved on the front of the key.
“You have the key to my heart, you always will.
I’ll never forget our love.
But there is someone who deserves you more than I do.
Someone who always hold the key to yours, something I could never get. “
I frowned. Did I overlooked those words for a while year?? Or where they recently added?
No that couldn’t be it. I always carried it with me. Ever since that night, I never took it off, until now.
So he knew all along we would eventually break up??
My body starts shaking violent. He knew all along he wouldn’t love me for ever, every time he said he did, it was a lie…
But how did he knew someone is in love with me? How come he was so sure that that person is Uruha??
“Hey” I turn around surprised. Uruha came home earlier than I expected. Seems like he forgot his umbrella as his clothes where totally soaked.
“Hey…” I reply, I want to smile, letting Uruha know I’m fine, but all I can get out is a really faint and probably worse looking smile.
Uruha gave me a small smile in return and disappeared through my door again.
I guess he’s not in the mood to deal with my own mood right now. I can’t blame him, I’ve been down a lot lately, and I know it affects Uruha’s mood as well.
But much to my surprise, he comes back, clothed in dry clothes and a towel draped over his shoulders.
He sit down next to me, holding me close.
He’s warm and his embrace feels nice. A soft sigh escaped through my lips as I lean into his embrace, my own arms wrapping around him.
“Shh, things will be okay” he whispers into my ear, his hand is gently stroking my hair.
I believe him. How can I not? In those two weeks together with him, he summoned all those pieces of my heart back into one piece again.
The wounds are healing and having Uruha around only speeds the progress.
“Tomorrow, things will be alright again. As long as you’re near me.” I mutter and snuggle closer to Uruha. I’m not sure if he heard what I said, but the small smile that formed on his lips was not gone unnoticed by me.
~~~~~~
End of part 4
So yeah~Finally got part 4 up^^; I'm sory for taking so long ;_; I hope you like it!!^^
well, I'll try to post another part/fic tonight^^;;
Take care ne~*hugs*
ps~ Lately I got a lot of 'sudden' inspiration for new fics/oneshots, I hope to write those soon^^
pss~
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