Porn Star (8/12?)
Porn Star (8/12?)
boomtrack @ kiiteruno
JaeMin, YunJae, BFF!YooMin; NC-17, AU Porn-Star!verse; ~5,600 words
Warnings: Strong language, sex, the usual for me.
A porn star and his fanboy.
AN: I'm sorry this is so late. I suggest re-reading the last chapter as it's been a while since this was updated and this chapter picks up where the last one left off. Enjoy and beware of some angst.
When his alarm buzzes him awake at the unholy hour of 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning, the first thing Changmin notices is that his roommate's bed is pristine and untouched from yesterday. Yoochun never came home last night.
It's not much of a surprise. On Fridays, Yoochun tends to go out with his flavor of the month (or week, or day, as it were), and the more "friendly" he is with her, the longer he stays out and the later he gets back to the dorm. Considering how much Yoochun seems to like this one (why else would he agree to watch gay porn just to get her juices flowing?) he might be lucky to see his roommate by this evening.
"What's her name again?" Changmin mutters to himself aloud. Reiko? Raizo? No, that's a movie guy. He's pretty sure it started with an 'r.'
Yoochun's 'relationships' (he uses the term loosely) had always baffled Changmin in the past. Yoochun changes girls like he changes underwear, and yet none of them seem to resent him for it. The times they've run into Yoochun's old flings while they're out together, the girls are always very amiable and polite, giving him warm hugs and pecks on the cheek while making sure he still has their numbers and teasing him about calling them again sometime.
For his credit, Yoochun never sees more than one girl at a time, but even so, his list of former flings is long and Yoochun never makes any attempt to hide them. Why, then, do girls keep agreeing to hook up with him? They must know going into it that it will be a very short-lived relationship. He'll have to ask Yoochun about it sometime.
Changmin finally shuts his alarm off and sits up, scrubbing the sleep from his eyes as he organizes his thoughts. He wants to see Jaejoong. He can't quite understand why he would want to cancel their weekend; Jaejoong seems the type to call up his significant other and beg to be doted on when he's sick, not turn into a recluse. He grins as he thinks about it, because even if Jaejoong looks like crap and has snot dribbling out of his nose, Changmin finds that he very much wants to dote on the other man.
He's a bit nervous about showing up uninvited, but Jaejoong gave him a key, right? He wouldn't have done that if he didn't want him to come over. Besides, Changmin finds himself rationalizing as he grabs a towel and heads for the bathroom, he came over to the dorms uninvited and that turned out fine. Sure, Yoochun had embarrassed them a bit, but they had also spent some time together, talked, got to know each other a bit more, and even managed to sneak in a blowjob. He grins stupidly at the last part as he starts up the shower. Perhaps Jaejoong will let him return the favor?
///
He gets to Jaejoong's place about an hour later. It's barely past 8 a.m. and the security guard eyes him warily when Changmin lets himself into the building, obviously trying to figure out if he's seen him before.
He takes the elevator to Jaejoong's floor and finds his apartment easily enough. The key slides into the lock without the least bit of resistance and Changmin feels a rush of excitement as he pushes the door open and steps inside.
He's not sure what he expected to see. The last time he was there Jaejoong's apartment had been nearly spotless. While he certainly wouldn't begrudge Jaejoong a bit of messiness, he's not prepared for the pairs of boots right inside the door that he promptly trips over not two steps into the apartment. He grips the door handle and barely saves himself from face-planting right into the hardwood flooring.
Changmin nudges the boots aside with one foot, closing the door behind him before he takes his own shoes off. He leaves his bag by the door and makes his way to the living room, pausing in the hallway to take it all in.
The coffee table is littered with Chinese take-out boxes and a few different glasses that reek of alcohol. There's a distinct lack of tissues, or blankets, or cold medicine, or anything at all really that would signify someone with a nasty cold currently resides here.
He begins picking up the take-out boxes, stacking two together before it dawns on him that this is way more than one person could eat. His mind, perhaps working a bit slow due to the early hour, finally surges to life, warning bells ringing in the back of his head. He sets the boxes down and backtracks into the hallway. Just as he recalled but paid little attention to, there's two pairs of boots dumped by the front door.
A strange feeling begins growing in his stomach, something akin to anxiety, or possibly fear. He turns down the hall to Jaejoong's bedroom. The door is mostly closed but not latched, and Changmin grips the door handle a bit too tightly as he pushes it open.
The curtains are closed and the room is almost pitch black. It takes Changmin's eyes a moment to adjust, but the light from the hall illuminates enough that he doesn't really care to see any more. His hand flexes on the door handle as he fights with various urges, not sure if he wants to scream or hit something or just cry.
He can almost hear his mother's voice as he stares. Be practical, Changmin, be practical.
Jaejoong's not alone. There's another person -another man- in bed with him, in the exact same spot Changmin was sleeping in just last week. They're both topless and Changmin isn't sure he wants to know if they're decent under the covers. He opens the door just a bit more, leaning to the side to allow more light to spill into the room. The other man is sleeping on his stomach with his head to the side but even so Changmin would recognize him anywhere; he's seen almost as much of him as he has of Jaejoong, after all. Jung Yunho.
He swallows a bit bitterly as he decides what to do. He could wake them up, make a scene, demand an explanation. He could go trash Jaejoong's apartment, throw a few things around to make himself feel better. They're both appealing options that would really accomplish nothing, just vent his frustration and embarrass them all.
His hand tightens further on the door handle until he realizes he's in danger of breaking it off. He relaxes his grip, taking a few slow breaths before he turns and steps out of the room, returning the door to it's original position.
It's a cowardly thing to do, he supposes, turning his back on the situation and just walking away, but the truth of the matter is he's scared of what Jaejoong would say if he woke him up. Whatever explanation he might offer will pale in comparison to the overall truth that's glaring Changmin right in the face.
Jaejoong lied.
He slides his shoes back on and grabs his bag, barely remembering to lock the door behind him on his way out. His mind is in a fog of sorts, his feet navigating his body into the elevator and out of the building while his brain plays out made-up scenes over and over in his head: Jaejoong and Jung Yunho, sleeping in bed together after spending a night in each other's company.
Has Jaejoong lied before? His brain is quick to remind him this is not the first time Jaejoong has rescheduled with him, and he's certainly been vague about having plans and the people he's been with before; skipping out on him last weekend, for example, to -supposedly- go visit his mother; rescheduling their movie date and even pushing the time back because he was still busy with work, or so he said; and then this time, canceling their weekend because he was sick, which, Changmin thinks with a wry smile, was clearly a lie.
And he remembers quite clearly the very first time he called Jaejoong; the man's easy-going attitude as he chatted him up, the sounds coming from the background, someone else moving around and talking, Jaejoong's complete calm as he chuckled and assured Changmin relax, kid, he's just a friend. We drink together sometimes. He thinks he knows who that person was now.
Changmin only realizes he's on the bus again when it hits a pothole. He glances out the window to confirm he hasn't missed his stop before he leans forward and rests his forehead against the seat in front of him. He can't figure out what to do, if he should cry or laugh. He settles for just staring blankly at the fabric right in front of his eyes.
"How stupid can you get?" he murmurs aloud, and, really, it's true. What kind of person blindly trusts a porn star to tell them the absolute truth from day one? Yoochun saw the possibility that things would go bad from the beginning and yet Changmin was too busy being excited and horny to think that this might all be a game, that he might get burned in the end.
He automatically stands up when the bus stops next, getting off and letting his feet guide him back to his dorm. He lets himself in and isn't surprised to find the place still empty; Yoochun must still be out with his lady friend. The silence is a comfort, of sorts. It'll give him a chance to sort through his emotions and settle on something before he has to face his roommate and explain what just happened.
He dumps his bag on his bed before heading into the bathroom to relieve himself. The urge to laugh as faded, getting replaced with a tight feeling in his throat that usually signals tears. It's an ugly, unpleasant sensation and he hates it, almost as much as he hates himself for falling for a lying, deceitful little porn star.
He flushes the toilet and washes his hands mechanically, staring at the bubbles as they're rinsed down the drain without really seeing them. He turns to the towel rack behind him, drying his hands thoroughly before he draws his arm back and slams his fist into the tiled wall.
His brain reports the pain around the same time he realizes what he's done. He lets out a yelp, shaking his hand before clutching it to his belly and sinking down to the bathroom floor. Blood dots the tile where the skin around his knuckles split but he can't bring himself to care. He settles against the wall and stares at the cabinet under the sink. There's moisture on his cheeks that he refuses to acknowledge. He takes slow, deep breaths, detaching himself until he ceases to feel the pain in his hand or the tightness in his throat, or, really, anything at all.
///
Yoochun gets back about an hour later. He's a bit surprised by the door being unlocked; the way Changmin had talked about it, he'd expected his roommate to be at Jaejoong's place for the whole damn weekend. What's he doing home?
"Changmin?" He calls out when he steps inside. The light is on in the bathroom and he sighs as he empties his pockets and sets his wallet and keys on his desk. "I'm gonna need the shower here soon. What're you doing here anyway? What happened with Jaejoong?"
He gets no response, which makes him frown. Even if Changmin didn't want to talk about it, he'd at least throw some sarcastic quip in his direction about his nosiness or his lack of personal boundaries. Receiving nothing at all gives him a strange, uneasy feeling.
"Changmin?" He finally steps over to the bathroom and pokes his head in. Anything he had planned to say dies on his lips when he catches sight of his roommate. Changmin is seated on the bathroom floor, his eyes red and puffy, cradling his right arm in his lap. There's dots of blood on the white tiled wall behind him and something that look suspiciously like dried tears on his cheeks.
Yoochun isn't sure which question to ask first. He settles on the most pressing.
"What the hell did you do to yourself?" He drops to a crouch next to Changmin, reaching out and prying his roommate's arm from his lap.
"I punched the wall," Changmin finally says. His voice seems dry and humorless and Yoochun absolutely hates it.
"I can see that. What would possess you to try to break your hand?" He splays Changmin's fingers out, testing the knuckles and bones in his hand. Everything seems in place, though Changmin does hiss a bit at having to flex his fingers. "You're gonna need to put some ice on this."
"I went to see Jaejoong this morning," Changmin blurts out.
Yoochun sighs as he stands up and heads back into their bedroom to get ice from the freezer. He's not the least bit surprised that somehow this has to do with Jaejoong. It seems like lately all roads lead back to the little blond-haired porn star and Yoochun's not sure if that's a good thing or not. Clearly, in this case, it's turned out poorly.
"I wasn't aware Jaejoong had inspired you to take up punching walls as a hobby." He collects some ice in a towel and brings it back to the bathroom, taking a moment to clean the blood from Changmin's knuckles before pressing the ice to the swollen joints.
He gets no response from Changmin. It's kind of maddening, really, how his roommate has shut down. He didn't even get like this when he broke up with Minho.
"I thought you were supposed to go over there last night," Yoochun finally says, trying another angle. "Why did you wait until this morning?"
"He called me and canceled, said he had a bad cold and wanted to wait until next weekend, said he wanted to be alone. I said okay but then decided to go this morning anyway. You know, to surprise him."
Yoochun nods and doesn't say anything, pretending to focus on the ice and Changmin's hand. Maybe if he doesn't think Yoochun is hanging on every word he says, he'll open up a bit more.
"He was still asleep," Changmin finally says; and then, after a pause, "he wasn't sleeping alone."
Ahh, so that's what happened. Yoochun frowns as imagines the scene in his head. Not really a pretty picture, to be sure, but something about it gives him pause. "Who was it? Did you know the guy?"
"Yeah, actually." Changmin laughs in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with humor. "Jung Yunho."
Yoochun draws a blank. "Who?"
"The- the one guy," Changmin says impatiently, waving his other hand in the air a bit. "From the videos." A pause. "The one that Jaejoong wasn't trying all that hard to get away from."
Yoochun's still clueless until the memory of watching part of the mafia porn with Changmin comes back to mind. Right, the tall sexy mafia dude. "Were they naked and everything?"
Changmin shoots him a glare. "What? I don't know, I didn't pull down the sheets to find out." After a moment he seems to deflate a bit, and when he speaks again his voice has lost it's hard edge. "They weren't wearing shirts."
Yoochun doesn't find that all that strange. Him and Changmin don't often wear shirts to bed either. "So... they were just sleeping? Maybe it's not as bad as it looks?"
"I don't care how it looks," Changmin murmurs, dropping his head back against the wall. "Jaejoong called me up and canceled and lied to me. He begged off being sick so he could blow me off and spend the night with his coworker instead."
Yoochun keeps quiet for the moment. It all sounds like a dick move on Jaejoong's part but still it also seems very odd. There's about fifteen questions rolling around in his mind that he wants to ask but Changmin doesn't look like he's in the mood to be contemplating Jaejoong's fidelity. He chooses his next words carefully.
"Maybe you should just talk to him," he says slowly, still keeping his focus down on Changmin's hand. "Tell him what you saw and ask what's going on."
"I don't want to talk to him right now."
"That's fair." Yoochun peeks at Changmin's knuckles. If he keeps icing it hopefully he won't have to go to the doctor. Might need some painkillers, though. "So maybe you should take a few days to calm down and think about it. Wait until you do want to talk to him and ask him what's up."
Changmin seems to mull that over, nibbling on his lip in completely familiar, Changmin-like way that makes Yoochun breathe a mental sigh of relief. "You don't think he's... having a relationship with him?"
"I just think you should give him the benefit of the doubt and a chance to explain himself, that's all. Things just might not be as bad as they look." Yoochun grabs Changmin's good hand and puts it on the towel-wrapped ice. "Hold this. If you don't keep them iced then they're gonna swell up like hell and you'll have problems even holding a pencil."
Changmin nods and Yoochun gets back up, leaving his roommate in the bathroom. His mind is cluttered with thoughts and questions he wants to ask but Changmin would probably murder him if he deliberately went behind his back to corner his boyfriend and demand answers. It's an appealing option nevertheless, but he'd have to steal Changmin's cellphone just to even be able to get a hold of the guy.
He has doubts that Jaejoong is cheating. It wouldn't make a bit of sense. Jaejoong has probably known this Jung Yunho for years; Yoochun remembers seeing Yunho in multiple videos with Jaejoong so they've known each other professionally for a while at least. If he wanted to launch into a romantic relationship with Yunho, why do it now, after years of knowing one another, right when he starts dating Changmin? On the other hand, if this has been going on longer than Jaejoong's known Changmin, then what was the point of pursuing a relationship with Changmin in the first place?
But if he wasn't cheating, then why the secrecy and lies?
"It's none of your business," Yoochun mutters to himself. He knows it's true and yet it doesn't help in the least to quell his curiosity.
///
Saturday progresses much the way Yoochun figures it would. He does some homework, makes a few phone calls, sends a few emails to his professors pleading for extentions on this or that deadline. Changmin completes a few pressing assignments, stares at his cell phone, and generally mopes like an overwatered houseplant.
When dinner rolls around Yoochun gets them take-out. Changmin picks at the food with a marked lack of interest and Yoochun resists the urge to bang his head against the wall. His roommate is slipping into a mood, a depression of sorts that will probably last for days and he has no idea how to prevent it.
It's when he starts picking out clothes for the night that the idea of inviting Changmin along hits him. It's an offer he's extended multiple times in the past and Changmin's joined him on the odd occasion, when he had no plans and wanted to get out of the dorm. He can't think of a better time to suggest a bar crawl, but to his surprise Changmin beats him to it.
"Where are you going tonight?" Changmin's still picking at his food, his chopsticks held loosely in his bad hand while his eyes watch Yoochun with an odd sort of curiosity.
"Haven't decided yet. Probably just start at the closest bar and see where I end up."
"Is she going?"
"Who's 'she'?" Yoochun pulls a shirt from his closet, compares it with the pants he's selected, and then rejects it.
"Your girlfriend."
"Ramu?" Yoochun smirks. "She's not my girlfriend. And no, I think she's studying for some test next week."
"So you'll be alone."
"Not for long, if things go my way."
"Can I come?"
Yoochun keeps his back to Changmin, hiding the smile that's spreading over his face. A drunk Changmin is most assuredly preferable to a depressed, mopey one. "Sure. I think I have a tank you could wear."
"It wouldn't fit. You're like two sizes smaller than me."
Yoochun pulls the shirt in question from his closet and tosses it on to Changmin's bed. "That's the point. Now get dressed."
///
Changmin rejects the first bar they arrive at. There isn't a single place to sit and the bar is so crowded it's nearly impossible to get a drink. They hit three more before Yoochun finally brings him to a place with seats and an actual waitress that runs orders from the tables to the bar. Changmin parks himself in a booth and proceeds to order the strongest drinks on the menu.
Yoochun resigns himself to a wasted night. It's not that he regrets taking Changmin out, it's just that he wouldn't have minded having a bit of fun of his own. Still, watching Changmin contemplate the world at the bottom of each glass is amusing in its own right and Yoochun finds he doesn't really mind being saddled with the role of sidekick and observer on Changmin's dedicated quest to get completely shit-faced.
Changmin's halfway through some drink with an English name Yoochun couldn't hope to pronounce on a good day when he suddenly starts blurting out questions.
"Why did Jaejoong lie?" His words are slightly slurred and altogether pathetic. Yoochun grins at him from across the table, nursing a bottle of beer and a cigarette as he mulls the question over.
"I have no idea, Changmin. You're gonna have to ask him that one yourself."
"But I don't want to talk to him."
"You're going to have to, eventually. If you don't contact him I'm sure he'll start texting you again soon."
"What should I say?"
Yoochun kind of wishes Changmin would ask him advice like this when he's sober instead of only after getting wasted. The conversation would probably be infinitely more constructive. "That's up to you, Changmin. Do you want to break up with him?"
"No. Yes." Changmin pauses to take another long drink from his glass. It's mostly empty and he signals the waitress for another. Yoochun has visions of him puking his guts out in the passenger seat of his car. He frowns.
"Yes?"
"No. I don't know. What if he hates me?" Changmin blinks at him with surprisingly focused eyes.
"If he hates you he wouldn't have started seeing you in the first place."
"What if I drove him away somehow? You think I did something wrong?"
"You haven't been exactly forthcoming with your relationship," Yoochun replies, sitting back and taking another swig from his beer bottle. "So I have no idea what you've even done and whether or not that'd drive him away."
"What if it's my penis?"
Yoochun stops with the beer bottle halfway to his mouth. He cannot even begin to guess the line of thought that would have brought Changmin to such a conclusion. "What?"
"Yunho has a big penis," Changmin blurts out, clutching his empty glass a bit desperately. "His is bigger than mine. And he's circumcised. What if Jaejoong hates my penis?"
I'm not having this conversation, Yoochun tells himself. It's a small comfort. "I doubt that's the problem."
"Why? How do you know?" Changmin stares at him stubbornly, completely ignoring the waitress when she brings him another drink.
"I-" Yoochun swallows and focuses on tapping ash off the end of his cigarette. He waits until the waitress leaves before he answers. "I've seen yours, Changmin. It's fine."
"But you don't have anything to compare it to."
"Well, I do happen to have one of my own, you know. Plus I did marathon a bunch of your videos, and straight porn has penises in it as well. I've seen my share, alright?"
Changmin seems to drunkenly mull that over, belatedly grabbing the new glass he was brought and knocking half of it back like it's water. "Do you like mine?"
Yoochun's pretty sure that of all the questions conceivable that he ever expected to be asked by his roommate, this one was not on the list. He kind of hopes everyone around them is deaf. "I already told you, it's fine."
"But do you like it?"
He takes a long drag on his cigarette, holding the smoke in his lungs to stall before sighing it out slowly. "Look, what I think doesn't matter, does it? It's what Jaejoong thinks that's important and he obviously thinks yours is fine. People don't generally go around cramming things they don't like down their throats, do they?"
Changmin seems to think really hard on that for a moment before he grins. "He did that, didn't he."
"That's what you said he did." Yoochun takes one last pull on his cigarette before mushing it out into the ashtray. "C'mon, I think you've had more than enough. You're already going to hate yourself in the morning."
"But I'm not done." Changmin looks down at the liquid remaining in his glass. Yoochun grabs it and knocks it back in one shot, coughing slightly at how it burns the whole way down. He can't believe Changmin's had three of these already.
"Now you are." He sets the glass down and chases Changmin's drink with the rest of his beer before throwing enough money on the table to cover their bill. "Let's go."
///
The walk back to his car ends up taking longer than Yoochun expected. All their bar-hopping brought them further downtown than he had realized and Changmin's current inebriated state doesn't make the walk go any faster. Still, it's better than just leaving Changmin alone at some bar while he fetches the car on his own. With his luck Changmin would get picked up by some hot gay guy and then he'd really hate himself in the morning.
They're heading home way earlier than Yoochun had planned to as well. It's barely past 9 and they've only been out for a couple of hours. This is probably the worst bar crawl he's ever attempted and the idea of dropping Changmin off at the dorm and heading back out on his own is appealing, except for the fact that his conscience would be nagging at him the whole time. What kind of caring roommate abandons their drunk, depressed friend at home alone? Besides, misery loves company and all that.
At least the fresh air and exercise seem to be helping Changmin sober up a bit; he's stopped asking embarrassing questions about his penis at any rate. Yoochun wonders if it's something Changmin was seriously concerned about -subconsciously, anyway- or if it was just inappropriate drunken babbling. He doesn't think he'll be able to ask when Changmin's sober, so now's probably a good a time as any. He opens his mouth to try to broach the subject when Changmin suddenly stops, an odd look on his face.
"What's up?"
"My pants are vibrating."
Yoochun blinks. "You must be drunker than I thought."
"No." Changmin makes a face and shoves a hand down his pants pocket, fumbling around in a way that looks alarmingly like he's attempting to jerk himself off. "My phone."
"Don't do that in public." Yoochun drags Changmin's hand out before deftly extracting the cell phone in question from his pants. Since Changmin is having problems successfully executing such daunting tasks as putting one foot in front of the other, Yoochun flips his phone open for him, scanning the text that's displayed on the screen.
"What is it?"
"A text. From Jaejoong."
Changmin looks miserable. "What's it say?"
Yoochun sighs and reads it aloud. "It says 'hey, sorry about yesterday. I'm feeling a lot better now so if you're free why don't you come over?' He put a little heart in the middle of it too."
Changmin says nothing, so Yoochun snaps the phone shut and tucks it into his coat pocket before grabbing Changmin's arm and leading him once more down the street towards his car.
"Wait, I've gotta write him back."
"Not right now you don't." Yoochun gives Changmin a look. "You're drunk and you don't want to say something you'll end up regretting, trust me. It can wait until later."
"But he'll start to wonder why I'm not responding. He'll get worried."
"You were the one saying not even an hour ago that you didn't even want to talk to him!"
"He'll just keep texting if I don't say something." Changmin's voice is in danger of turning into a whine and Yoochun stops suddenly, heaving a sigh.
"Fine." He yanks Changmin's cell out again and types out a short message, managing to hit 'send' before Changmin even seems to realize what he's doing.
"What'd you tell him?"
"I just said you were already out with me."
Changmin falls quiet and so Yoochun starts leading him once again, the two of them plodding along silently down the street for a few minutes until Changmin finally speaks up once more.
"What am I going to do?"
"You'll figure it out when you sober up," Yoochun replies, grinning a bit when his car comes into view after they round a corner. "You're not the first person to ever have relationship problems, you know. Everyone the world over has them, and we all somehow manage to work them out."
"Or break up." Changmin's words are starting to sound less slurred. Yoochun takes that as a good sign.
"That's true. But if you don't want to break up and he doesn't want to break up, then your only alternative is to work it out, somehow. Just talk to him. He doesn't seem like he'd be that unreasonable."
"What am I supposed to say? 'Hey, I showed up uninvited to your apartment and caught you in bed with your coworker after you canceled with me because you said you were sick and wanted to be alone'?"
Yoochun snorts. "That'd be one way to do it. Nice and direct."
"He'd be furious."
"No, he wouldn't. It's not like you smashed a window and broke in."
Changmin makes a face. "But still, Jaejoong-"
"You know," Yoochun says, cutting him off as he digs his keys out of his pocket, "you seem to think a lot about what Jaejoong will think and Jaejoong seems to think a lot about himself as well. Maybe you should take a moment to think about what you want."
That seems to give Changmin pause. He stops next to Yoochun's car for a moment, hugging his coat around him as he stares up at the sky. "What I want?"
"That's right. Relationships are a two-way street, right? It's great that you're both so concerned about how he feels in this but someone has to consider your side of things too. When's the last time you called the shots?"
"What do you mean?" Changmin finally brings his eyes to Yoochun, who rests his hip against his car.
"I mean, when's the last time you made the plans? That you decided what the two of you were doing?"
Changmin stares at him for a long moment. "When we went to the movies."
"And when was that, exactly?"
"I don't know. A few weeks ago?" Changmin shifts a bit in the cold, frowning.
"A few weeks ago. And what else have you two done?" Yoochun lifts up a hand and begins ticking things off. "He made plans for the two of you to eat at that sushi restaurant. He invited you over to his place and had you spend the night. He told you what to do during finals week and still showed up on his own. Then he went and made plans with you for this weekend and then canceled at his own discretion."
"I don't mind letting him plan things," Changmin says, haltingly.
"Maybe not. But maybe you should stop and think about what you're hoping to get out of this relationship. Once the newness and the novelty of who he is wears off, what are you going to be left with, exactly? A guy who has a lot of sex with other people except you, who makes all the decisions and apparently does a lot of shit without letting you in on it. Is that what you want?"
Changmin falls silent for a long moment, opening and closing his mouth a few times before closing it altogether.
"You should think on it," Yoochun says slowly, finally unlocking the car doors. "I mean, take the rest of the weekend and really think on it. Then talk to him, tell him what you saw when you went over, and then make a decision on where you want to go from here."
"You think I should break up with him." It's a statement, not a question, and Yoochun winces at the finality of it.
"I didn't say that. He seems like a nice enough guy and I know you're a decent judge of character. I just don't think you should be letting him walk all over you like this."
Changmin says nothing as he gets in the car, buckling himself in and staring thoughtfully out the window. Yoochun lets the ride back to the dorms pass in silence.
[o7] x [o9]
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boomtrack @ kiiteruno
JaeMin, YunJae, BFF!YooMin; NC-17, AU Porn-Star!verse; ~5,600 words
Warnings: Strong language, sex, the usual for me.
A porn star and his fanboy.
AN: I'm sorry this is so late. I suggest re-reading the last chapter as it's been a while since this was updated and this chapter picks up where the last one left off. Enjoy and beware of some angst.
When his alarm buzzes him awake at the unholy hour of 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning, the first thing Changmin notices is that his roommate's bed is pristine and untouched from yesterday. Yoochun never came home last night.
It's not much of a surprise. On Fridays, Yoochun tends to go out with his flavor of the month (or week, or day, as it were), and the more "friendly" he is with her, the longer he stays out and the later he gets back to the dorm. Considering how much Yoochun seems to like this one (why else would he agree to watch gay porn just to get her juices flowing?) he might be lucky to see his roommate by this evening.
"What's her name again?" Changmin mutters to himself aloud. Reiko? Raizo? No, that's a movie guy. He's pretty sure it started with an 'r.'
Yoochun's 'relationships' (he uses the term loosely) had always baffled Changmin in the past. Yoochun changes girls like he changes underwear, and yet none of them seem to resent him for it. The times they've run into Yoochun's old flings while they're out together, the girls are always very amiable and polite, giving him warm hugs and pecks on the cheek while making sure he still has their numbers and teasing him about calling them again sometime.
For his credit, Yoochun never sees more than one girl at a time, but even so, his list of former flings is long and Yoochun never makes any attempt to hide them. Why, then, do girls keep agreeing to hook up with him? They must know going into it that it will be a very short-lived relationship. He'll have to ask Yoochun about it sometime.
Changmin finally shuts his alarm off and sits up, scrubbing the sleep from his eyes as he organizes his thoughts. He wants to see Jaejoong. He can't quite understand why he would want to cancel their weekend; Jaejoong seems the type to call up his significant other and beg to be doted on when he's sick, not turn into a recluse. He grins as he thinks about it, because even if Jaejoong looks like crap and has snot dribbling out of his nose, Changmin finds that he very much wants to dote on the other man.
He's a bit nervous about showing up uninvited, but Jaejoong gave him a key, right? He wouldn't have done that if he didn't want him to come over. Besides, Changmin finds himself rationalizing as he grabs a towel and heads for the bathroom, he came over to the dorms uninvited and that turned out fine. Sure, Yoochun had embarrassed them a bit, but they had also spent some time together, talked, got to know each other a bit more, and even managed to sneak in a blowjob. He grins stupidly at the last part as he starts up the shower. Perhaps Jaejoong will let him return the favor?
///
He gets to Jaejoong's place about an hour later. It's barely past 8 a.m. and the security guard eyes him warily when Changmin lets himself into the building, obviously trying to figure out if he's seen him before.
He takes the elevator to Jaejoong's floor and finds his apartment easily enough. The key slides into the lock without the least bit of resistance and Changmin feels a rush of excitement as he pushes the door open and steps inside.
He's not sure what he expected to see. The last time he was there Jaejoong's apartment had been nearly spotless. While he certainly wouldn't begrudge Jaejoong a bit of messiness, he's not prepared for the pairs of boots right inside the door that he promptly trips over not two steps into the apartment. He grips the door handle and barely saves himself from face-planting right into the hardwood flooring.
Changmin nudges the boots aside with one foot, closing the door behind him before he takes his own shoes off. He leaves his bag by the door and makes his way to the living room, pausing in the hallway to take it all in.
The coffee table is littered with Chinese take-out boxes and a few different glasses that reek of alcohol. There's a distinct lack of tissues, or blankets, or cold medicine, or anything at all really that would signify someone with a nasty cold currently resides here.
He begins picking up the take-out boxes, stacking two together before it dawns on him that this is way more than one person could eat. His mind, perhaps working a bit slow due to the early hour, finally surges to life, warning bells ringing in the back of his head. He sets the boxes down and backtracks into the hallway. Just as he recalled but paid little attention to, there's two pairs of boots dumped by the front door.
A strange feeling begins growing in his stomach, something akin to anxiety, or possibly fear. He turns down the hall to Jaejoong's bedroom. The door is mostly closed but not latched, and Changmin grips the door handle a bit too tightly as he pushes it open.
The curtains are closed and the room is almost pitch black. It takes Changmin's eyes a moment to adjust, but the light from the hall illuminates enough that he doesn't really care to see any more. His hand flexes on the door handle as he fights with various urges, not sure if he wants to scream or hit something or just cry.
He can almost hear his mother's voice as he stares. Be practical, Changmin, be practical.
Jaejoong's not alone. There's another person -another man- in bed with him, in the exact same spot Changmin was sleeping in just last week. They're both topless and Changmin isn't sure he wants to know if they're decent under the covers. He opens the door just a bit more, leaning to the side to allow more light to spill into the room. The other man is sleeping on his stomach with his head to the side but even so Changmin would recognize him anywhere; he's seen almost as much of him as he has of Jaejoong, after all. Jung Yunho.
He swallows a bit bitterly as he decides what to do. He could wake them up, make a scene, demand an explanation. He could go trash Jaejoong's apartment, throw a few things around to make himself feel better. They're both appealing options that would really accomplish nothing, just vent his frustration and embarrass them all.
His hand tightens further on the door handle until he realizes he's in danger of breaking it off. He relaxes his grip, taking a few slow breaths before he turns and steps out of the room, returning the door to it's original position.
It's a cowardly thing to do, he supposes, turning his back on the situation and just walking away, but the truth of the matter is he's scared of what Jaejoong would say if he woke him up. Whatever explanation he might offer will pale in comparison to the overall truth that's glaring Changmin right in the face.
Jaejoong lied.
He slides his shoes back on and grabs his bag, barely remembering to lock the door behind him on his way out. His mind is in a fog of sorts, his feet navigating his body into the elevator and out of the building while his brain plays out made-up scenes over and over in his head: Jaejoong and Jung Yunho, sleeping in bed together after spending a night in each other's company.
Has Jaejoong lied before? His brain is quick to remind him this is not the first time Jaejoong has rescheduled with him, and he's certainly been vague about having plans and the people he's been with before; skipping out on him last weekend, for example, to -supposedly- go visit his mother; rescheduling their movie date and even pushing the time back because he was still busy with work, or so he said; and then this time, canceling their weekend because he was sick, which, Changmin thinks with a wry smile, was clearly a lie.
And he remembers quite clearly the very first time he called Jaejoong; the man's easy-going attitude as he chatted him up, the sounds coming from the background, someone else moving around and talking, Jaejoong's complete calm as he chuckled and assured Changmin relax, kid, he's just a friend. We drink together sometimes. He thinks he knows who that person was now.
Changmin only realizes he's on the bus again when it hits a pothole. He glances out the window to confirm he hasn't missed his stop before he leans forward and rests his forehead against the seat in front of him. He can't figure out what to do, if he should cry or laugh. He settles for just staring blankly at the fabric right in front of his eyes.
"How stupid can you get?" he murmurs aloud, and, really, it's true. What kind of person blindly trusts a porn star to tell them the absolute truth from day one? Yoochun saw the possibility that things would go bad from the beginning and yet Changmin was too busy being excited and horny to think that this might all be a game, that he might get burned in the end.
He automatically stands up when the bus stops next, getting off and letting his feet guide him back to his dorm. He lets himself in and isn't surprised to find the place still empty; Yoochun must still be out with his lady friend. The silence is a comfort, of sorts. It'll give him a chance to sort through his emotions and settle on something before he has to face his roommate and explain what just happened.
He dumps his bag on his bed before heading into the bathroom to relieve himself. The urge to laugh as faded, getting replaced with a tight feeling in his throat that usually signals tears. It's an ugly, unpleasant sensation and he hates it, almost as much as he hates himself for falling for a lying, deceitful little porn star.
He flushes the toilet and washes his hands mechanically, staring at the bubbles as they're rinsed down the drain without really seeing them. He turns to the towel rack behind him, drying his hands thoroughly before he draws his arm back and slams his fist into the tiled wall.
His brain reports the pain around the same time he realizes what he's done. He lets out a yelp, shaking his hand before clutching it to his belly and sinking down to the bathroom floor. Blood dots the tile where the skin around his knuckles split but he can't bring himself to care. He settles against the wall and stares at the cabinet under the sink. There's moisture on his cheeks that he refuses to acknowledge. He takes slow, deep breaths, detaching himself until he ceases to feel the pain in his hand or the tightness in his throat, or, really, anything at all.
///
Yoochun gets back about an hour later. He's a bit surprised by the door being unlocked; the way Changmin had talked about it, he'd expected his roommate to be at Jaejoong's place for the whole damn weekend. What's he doing home?
"Changmin?" He calls out when he steps inside. The light is on in the bathroom and he sighs as he empties his pockets and sets his wallet and keys on his desk. "I'm gonna need the shower here soon. What're you doing here anyway? What happened with Jaejoong?"
He gets no response, which makes him frown. Even if Changmin didn't want to talk about it, he'd at least throw some sarcastic quip in his direction about his nosiness or his lack of personal boundaries. Receiving nothing at all gives him a strange, uneasy feeling.
"Changmin?" He finally steps over to the bathroom and pokes his head in. Anything he had planned to say dies on his lips when he catches sight of his roommate. Changmin is seated on the bathroom floor, his eyes red and puffy, cradling his right arm in his lap. There's dots of blood on the white tiled wall behind him and something that look suspiciously like dried tears on his cheeks.
Yoochun isn't sure which question to ask first. He settles on the most pressing.
"What the hell did you do to yourself?" He drops to a crouch next to Changmin, reaching out and prying his roommate's arm from his lap.
"I punched the wall," Changmin finally says. His voice seems dry and humorless and Yoochun absolutely hates it.
"I can see that. What would possess you to try to break your hand?" He splays Changmin's fingers out, testing the knuckles and bones in his hand. Everything seems in place, though Changmin does hiss a bit at having to flex his fingers. "You're gonna need to put some ice on this."
"I went to see Jaejoong this morning," Changmin blurts out.
Yoochun sighs as he stands up and heads back into their bedroom to get ice from the freezer. He's not the least bit surprised that somehow this has to do with Jaejoong. It seems like lately all roads lead back to the little blond-haired porn star and Yoochun's not sure if that's a good thing or not. Clearly, in this case, it's turned out poorly.
"I wasn't aware Jaejoong had inspired you to take up punching walls as a hobby." He collects some ice in a towel and brings it back to the bathroom, taking a moment to clean the blood from Changmin's knuckles before pressing the ice to the swollen joints.
He gets no response from Changmin. It's kind of maddening, really, how his roommate has shut down. He didn't even get like this when he broke up with Minho.
"I thought you were supposed to go over there last night," Yoochun finally says, trying another angle. "Why did you wait until this morning?"
"He called me and canceled, said he had a bad cold and wanted to wait until next weekend, said he wanted to be alone. I said okay but then decided to go this morning anyway. You know, to surprise him."
Yoochun nods and doesn't say anything, pretending to focus on the ice and Changmin's hand. Maybe if he doesn't think Yoochun is hanging on every word he says, he'll open up a bit more.
"He was still asleep," Changmin finally says; and then, after a pause, "he wasn't sleeping alone."
Ahh, so that's what happened. Yoochun frowns as imagines the scene in his head. Not really a pretty picture, to be sure, but something about it gives him pause. "Who was it? Did you know the guy?"
"Yeah, actually." Changmin laughs in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with humor. "Jung Yunho."
Yoochun draws a blank. "Who?"
"The- the one guy," Changmin says impatiently, waving his other hand in the air a bit. "From the videos." A pause. "The one that Jaejoong wasn't trying all that hard to get away from."
Yoochun's still clueless until the memory of watching part of the mafia porn with Changmin comes back to mind. Right, the tall sexy mafia dude. "Were they naked and everything?"
Changmin shoots him a glare. "What? I don't know, I didn't pull down the sheets to find out." After a moment he seems to deflate a bit, and when he speaks again his voice has lost it's hard edge. "They weren't wearing shirts."
Yoochun doesn't find that all that strange. Him and Changmin don't often wear shirts to bed either. "So... they were just sleeping? Maybe it's not as bad as it looks?"
"I don't care how it looks," Changmin murmurs, dropping his head back against the wall. "Jaejoong called me up and canceled and lied to me. He begged off being sick so he could blow me off and spend the night with his coworker instead."
Yoochun keeps quiet for the moment. It all sounds like a dick move on Jaejoong's part but still it also seems very odd. There's about fifteen questions rolling around in his mind that he wants to ask but Changmin doesn't look like he's in the mood to be contemplating Jaejoong's fidelity. He chooses his next words carefully.
"Maybe you should just talk to him," he says slowly, still keeping his focus down on Changmin's hand. "Tell him what you saw and ask what's going on."
"I don't want to talk to him right now."
"That's fair." Yoochun peeks at Changmin's knuckles. If he keeps icing it hopefully he won't have to go to the doctor. Might need some painkillers, though. "So maybe you should take a few days to calm down and think about it. Wait until you do want to talk to him and ask him what's up."
Changmin seems to mull that over, nibbling on his lip in completely familiar, Changmin-like way that makes Yoochun breathe a mental sigh of relief. "You don't think he's... having a relationship with him?"
"I just think you should give him the benefit of the doubt and a chance to explain himself, that's all. Things just might not be as bad as they look." Yoochun grabs Changmin's good hand and puts it on the towel-wrapped ice. "Hold this. If you don't keep them iced then they're gonna swell up like hell and you'll have problems even holding a pencil."
Changmin nods and Yoochun gets back up, leaving his roommate in the bathroom. His mind is cluttered with thoughts and questions he wants to ask but Changmin would probably murder him if he deliberately went behind his back to corner his boyfriend and demand answers. It's an appealing option nevertheless, but he'd have to steal Changmin's cellphone just to even be able to get a hold of the guy.
He has doubts that Jaejoong is cheating. It wouldn't make a bit of sense. Jaejoong has probably known this Jung Yunho for years; Yoochun remembers seeing Yunho in multiple videos with Jaejoong so they've known each other professionally for a while at least. If he wanted to launch into a romantic relationship with Yunho, why do it now, after years of knowing one another, right when he starts dating Changmin? On the other hand, if this has been going on longer than Jaejoong's known Changmin, then what was the point of pursuing a relationship with Changmin in the first place?
But if he wasn't cheating, then why the secrecy and lies?
"It's none of your business," Yoochun mutters to himself. He knows it's true and yet it doesn't help in the least to quell his curiosity.
///
Saturday progresses much the way Yoochun figures it would. He does some homework, makes a few phone calls, sends a few emails to his professors pleading for extentions on this or that deadline. Changmin completes a few pressing assignments, stares at his cell phone, and generally mopes like an overwatered houseplant.
When dinner rolls around Yoochun gets them take-out. Changmin picks at the food with a marked lack of interest and Yoochun resists the urge to bang his head against the wall. His roommate is slipping into a mood, a depression of sorts that will probably last for days and he has no idea how to prevent it.
It's when he starts picking out clothes for the night that the idea of inviting Changmin along hits him. It's an offer he's extended multiple times in the past and Changmin's joined him on the odd occasion, when he had no plans and wanted to get out of the dorm. He can't think of a better time to suggest a bar crawl, but to his surprise Changmin beats him to it.
"Where are you going tonight?" Changmin's still picking at his food, his chopsticks held loosely in his bad hand while his eyes watch Yoochun with an odd sort of curiosity.
"Haven't decided yet. Probably just start at the closest bar and see where I end up."
"Is she going?"
"Who's 'she'?" Yoochun pulls a shirt from his closet, compares it with the pants he's selected, and then rejects it.
"Your girlfriend."
"Ramu?" Yoochun smirks. "She's not my girlfriend. And no, I think she's studying for some test next week."
"So you'll be alone."
"Not for long, if things go my way."
"Can I come?"
Yoochun keeps his back to Changmin, hiding the smile that's spreading over his face. A drunk Changmin is most assuredly preferable to a depressed, mopey one. "Sure. I think I have a tank you could wear."
"It wouldn't fit. You're like two sizes smaller than me."
Yoochun pulls the shirt in question from his closet and tosses it on to Changmin's bed. "That's the point. Now get dressed."
///
Changmin rejects the first bar they arrive at. There isn't a single place to sit and the bar is so crowded it's nearly impossible to get a drink. They hit three more before Yoochun finally brings him to a place with seats and an actual waitress that runs orders from the tables to the bar. Changmin parks himself in a booth and proceeds to order the strongest drinks on the menu.
Yoochun resigns himself to a wasted night. It's not that he regrets taking Changmin out, it's just that he wouldn't have minded having a bit of fun of his own. Still, watching Changmin contemplate the world at the bottom of each glass is amusing in its own right and Yoochun finds he doesn't really mind being saddled with the role of sidekick and observer on Changmin's dedicated quest to get completely shit-faced.
Changmin's halfway through some drink with an English name Yoochun couldn't hope to pronounce on a good day when he suddenly starts blurting out questions.
"Why did Jaejoong lie?" His words are slightly slurred and altogether pathetic. Yoochun grins at him from across the table, nursing a bottle of beer and a cigarette as he mulls the question over.
"I have no idea, Changmin. You're gonna have to ask him that one yourself."
"But I don't want to talk to him."
"You're going to have to, eventually. If you don't contact him I'm sure he'll start texting you again soon."
"What should I say?"
Yoochun kind of wishes Changmin would ask him advice like this when he's sober instead of only after getting wasted. The conversation would probably be infinitely more constructive. "That's up to you, Changmin. Do you want to break up with him?"
"No. Yes." Changmin pauses to take another long drink from his glass. It's mostly empty and he signals the waitress for another. Yoochun has visions of him puking his guts out in the passenger seat of his car. He frowns.
"Yes?"
"No. I don't know. What if he hates me?" Changmin blinks at him with surprisingly focused eyes.
"If he hates you he wouldn't have started seeing you in the first place."
"What if I drove him away somehow? You think I did something wrong?"
"You haven't been exactly forthcoming with your relationship," Yoochun replies, sitting back and taking another swig from his beer bottle. "So I have no idea what you've even done and whether or not that'd drive him away."
"What if it's my penis?"
Yoochun stops with the beer bottle halfway to his mouth. He cannot even begin to guess the line of thought that would have brought Changmin to such a conclusion. "What?"
"Yunho has a big penis," Changmin blurts out, clutching his empty glass a bit desperately. "His is bigger than mine. And he's circumcised. What if Jaejoong hates my penis?"
I'm not having this conversation, Yoochun tells himself. It's a small comfort. "I doubt that's the problem."
"Why? How do you know?" Changmin stares at him stubbornly, completely ignoring the waitress when she brings him another drink.
"I-" Yoochun swallows and focuses on tapping ash off the end of his cigarette. He waits until the waitress leaves before he answers. "I've seen yours, Changmin. It's fine."
"But you don't have anything to compare it to."
"Well, I do happen to have one of my own, you know. Plus I did marathon a bunch of your videos, and straight porn has penises in it as well. I've seen my share, alright?"
Changmin seems to drunkenly mull that over, belatedly grabbing the new glass he was brought and knocking half of it back like it's water. "Do you like mine?"
Yoochun's pretty sure that of all the questions conceivable that he ever expected to be asked by his roommate, this one was not on the list. He kind of hopes everyone around them is deaf. "I already told you, it's fine."
"But do you like it?"
He takes a long drag on his cigarette, holding the smoke in his lungs to stall before sighing it out slowly. "Look, what I think doesn't matter, does it? It's what Jaejoong thinks that's important and he obviously thinks yours is fine. People don't generally go around cramming things they don't like down their throats, do they?"
Changmin seems to think really hard on that for a moment before he grins. "He did that, didn't he."
"That's what you said he did." Yoochun takes one last pull on his cigarette before mushing it out into the ashtray. "C'mon, I think you've had more than enough. You're already going to hate yourself in the morning."
"But I'm not done." Changmin looks down at the liquid remaining in his glass. Yoochun grabs it and knocks it back in one shot, coughing slightly at how it burns the whole way down. He can't believe Changmin's had three of these already.
"Now you are." He sets the glass down and chases Changmin's drink with the rest of his beer before throwing enough money on the table to cover their bill. "Let's go."
///
The walk back to his car ends up taking longer than Yoochun expected. All their bar-hopping brought them further downtown than he had realized and Changmin's current inebriated state doesn't make the walk go any faster. Still, it's better than just leaving Changmin alone at some bar while he fetches the car on his own. With his luck Changmin would get picked up by some hot gay guy and then he'd really hate himself in the morning.
They're heading home way earlier than Yoochun had planned to as well. It's barely past 9 and they've only been out for a couple of hours. This is probably the worst bar crawl he's ever attempted and the idea of dropping Changmin off at the dorm and heading back out on his own is appealing, except for the fact that his conscience would be nagging at him the whole time. What kind of caring roommate abandons their drunk, depressed friend at home alone? Besides, misery loves company and all that.
At least the fresh air and exercise seem to be helping Changmin sober up a bit; he's stopped asking embarrassing questions about his penis at any rate. Yoochun wonders if it's something Changmin was seriously concerned about -subconsciously, anyway- or if it was just inappropriate drunken babbling. He doesn't think he'll be able to ask when Changmin's sober, so now's probably a good a time as any. He opens his mouth to try to broach the subject when Changmin suddenly stops, an odd look on his face.
"What's up?"
"My pants are vibrating."
Yoochun blinks. "You must be drunker than I thought."
"No." Changmin makes a face and shoves a hand down his pants pocket, fumbling around in a way that looks alarmingly like he's attempting to jerk himself off. "My phone."
"Don't do that in public." Yoochun drags Changmin's hand out before deftly extracting the cell phone in question from his pants. Since Changmin is having problems successfully executing such daunting tasks as putting one foot in front of the other, Yoochun flips his phone open for him, scanning the text that's displayed on the screen.
"What is it?"
"A text. From Jaejoong."
Changmin looks miserable. "What's it say?"
Yoochun sighs and reads it aloud. "It says 'hey, sorry about yesterday. I'm feeling a lot better now so if you're free why don't you come over?' He put a little heart in the middle of it too."
Changmin says nothing, so Yoochun snaps the phone shut and tucks it into his coat pocket before grabbing Changmin's arm and leading him once more down the street towards his car.
"Wait, I've gotta write him back."
"Not right now you don't." Yoochun gives Changmin a look. "You're drunk and you don't want to say something you'll end up regretting, trust me. It can wait until later."
"But he'll start to wonder why I'm not responding. He'll get worried."
"You were the one saying not even an hour ago that you didn't even want to talk to him!"
"He'll just keep texting if I don't say something." Changmin's voice is in danger of turning into a whine and Yoochun stops suddenly, heaving a sigh.
"Fine." He yanks Changmin's cell out again and types out a short message, managing to hit 'send' before Changmin even seems to realize what he's doing.
"What'd you tell him?"
"I just said you were already out with me."
Changmin falls quiet and so Yoochun starts leading him once again, the two of them plodding along silently down the street for a few minutes until Changmin finally speaks up once more.
"What am I going to do?"
"You'll figure it out when you sober up," Yoochun replies, grinning a bit when his car comes into view after they round a corner. "You're not the first person to ever have relationship problems, you know. Everyone the world over has them, and we all somehow manage to work them out."
"Or break up." Changmin's words are starting to sound less slurred. Yoochun takes that as a good sign.
"That's true. But if you don't want to break up and he doesn't want to break up, then your only alternative is to work it out, somehow. Just talk to him. He doesn't seem like he'd be that unreasonable."
"What am I supposed to say? 'Hey, I showed up uninvited to your apartment and caught you in bed with your coworker after you canceled with me because you said you were sick and wanted to be alone'?"
Yoochun snorts. "That'd be one way to do it. Nice and direct."
"He'd be furious."
"No, he wouldn't. It's not like you smashed a window and broke in."
Changmin makes a face. "But still, Jaejoong-"
"You know," Yoochun says, cutting him off as he digs his keys out of his pocket, "you seem to think a lot about what Jaejoong will think and Jaejoong seems to think a lot about himself as well. Maybe you should take a moment to think about what you want."
That seems to give Changmin pause. He stops next to Yoochun's car for a moment, hugging his coat around him as he stares up at the sky. "What I want?"
"That's right. Relationships are a two-way street, right? It's great that you're both so concerned about how he feels in this but someone has to consider your side of things too. When's the last time you called the shots?"
"What do you mean?" Changmin finally brings his eyes to Yoochun, who rests his hip against his car.
"I mean, when's the last time you made the plans? That you decided what the two of you were doing?"
Changmin stares at him for a long moment. "When we went to the movies."
"And when was that, exactly?"
"I don't know. A few weeks ago?" Changmin shifts a bit in the cold, frowning.
"A few weeks ago. And what else have you two done?" Yoochun lifts up a hand and begins ticking things off. "He made plans for the two of you to eat at that sushi restaurant. He invited you over to his place and had you spend the night. He told you what to do during finals week and still showed up on his own. Then he went and made plans with you for this weekend and then canceled at his own discretion."
"I don't mind letting him plan things," Changmin says, haltingly.
"Maybe not. But maybe you should stop and think about what you're hoping to get out of this relationship. Once the newness and the novelty of who he is wears off, what are you going to be left with, exactly? A guy who has a lot of sex with other people except you, who makes all the decisions and apparently does a lot of shit without letting you in on it. Is that what you want?"
Changmin falls silent for a long moment, opening and closing his mouth a few times before closing it altogether.
"You should think on it," Yoochun says slowly, finally unlocking the car doors. "I mean, take the rest of the weekend and really think on it. Then talk to him, tell him what you saw when you went over, and then make a decision on where you want to go from here."
"You think I should break up with him." It's a statement, not a question, and Yoochun winces at the finality of it.
"I didn't say that. He seems like a nice enough guy and I know you're a decent judge of character. I just don't think you should be letting him walk all over you like this."
Changmin says nothing as he gets in the car, buckling himself in and staring thoughtfully out the window. Yoochun lets the ride back to the dorms pass in silence.
[o7] x [o9]
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