Porn Star (2/10?)
Porn Star (2/10?)
boomtrack @ kiiteruno
reallycorking @ corkart
JaeMin, YunJae, BFF!YooMin; NC-17, AU Porn-Star!verse; ~4,000 words
Warnings: Strong language, sex, the usual for me.
A porn star and his fanboy.
AN: AKWGLAKgj For the first time ever I have an ARTIST who drew for my fic! I'm in awe ;_; reallycorking is amazing and incredibly talented, and the fact that she spent time to give this fic some gorgeous art just totally blows my mind. :D! I've linked the art down below in the fic where the scene takes place, so, like, you don't peek at it now and spoil it for yourself. ♥ I had an incredibly awesome time collaborating with her on this chapter and sklgdlkajg I hope we can do something like this again in the (extremely near!) future, bb! ♥♥♥ ILU SO MUCH!
If you want to leave comments specifically for reallycorking, why not head over to the post she made on her art journal for this piece? :D
So, yes, the projected length of this fic just doubled. Sigh. I'm really bad at guesstimating, apparently. Oh and LONG chapter is LONG. This is 4,000+ words.
He breaks the news to Yoochun Thursday night.
It's not really ideal, seeing as Yoochun's working on some soul-consuming term paper that seems to have depleted any sense of humor he may have had. Regardless of Yoochun's state of mind (sanity), Changmin would really rather tell Yoochun about his date with a porn star before said date actually takes place. So, after procrastinating for most of the night, Changmin mumbles a prayer to the roommate gods and forges ahead.
"I," he begins, taking a breath as he stares at the back of Yoochun's head, "have a date tomorrow night."
"Really," Yoochun mutters at his computer screen, his voice carrying all the enthusiasm of someone about to get a tetanus shot. He doesn't even turn around. "That's absolutely fascinating."
"... with Kim Jaejoong."
"Changmin-ah," Yoochun replies with a sigh, eyes still glued to the monitor of his desktop, "I don't know if you've checked the calendar recently, but you're about six months late for April Fool's." He takes a moment to jot some notes down on scrap paper, muttering at the website he's reading. "-even houses class-A war criminals-"
Changmin frowns. "I'm not joking." He shifts a bit on his bed as he watches the back of Yoochun's head, plucking nervously at his comforter.
"Of course you're not," Yoochun sighs again in mild exasperation, slamming his pencil down on the desk before swiveling his swivel chair to face Changmin. "I have a 20-page paper on the Yasukuni Shrine in Japan and it's effect on foreign relations due next week, so unless this is really necessary-"
"I'm not joking," Changmin replies firmly, meeting Yoochun's gaze. His friend blinks a few times, posture relaxing a bit as he sits back in his chair.
"Fine," Yoochun says, crossing his arms over his chest while quirking an eyebrow. "Tell me how you got a date-" he points a finger at Changmin's computer screen, the desktop graced with a wallpaper of Jaejoong (dressed and yet somehow not quite decent) "-with Kim Jaejoong."
Changmin fidgets, feeling awkward under the weight of Yoochun's scrutiny. "I saw him walking down the street, when I was studying at the cafe Monday. I-... went and talked to him," he says in a rush. He doesn't really want to tell Yoochun what an embarrassed, excited little fanboy mess he was in front of Jaejoong. His roommate doesn't need to know about that part.
"... You talked to him," Yoochun says quietly, quirking an eyebrow. Disbelief drips from every syllable and Changmin's not quite sure which which part of the statement Yoochun's skeptical about; the part where he used his vocal chords to make sounds and hold a conversation, or the part where he held a conversation with Kim Jaejoong.
"... Uh huh."
"Uh huh," Yoochun mimics, a smile tugging at his lips. "And then?"
"I asked him for an autograph, and he gave me one. And, uh, his number."
"He gave you his number," Yoochun parrots back to him, nodding his head along. "And?"
"And I called him, um, on Wednesday. And he asked me out."
Yoochun sits quietly, (not so) patiently waiting for the rest.
"... And that's it." Changmin finishes lamely. He watches as Yoochun begins drumming his fingers on his bicep, one eyebrow quirked in amusement.
"And that's it," Yoochun repeats, giving a little laugh. "Gosh, Changmin-ah, that's pretty amazing."
"Yeah?" Changmin smiles a bit, his mood lifting. Who knew this would be so easy?
"Yeah, and I have something to share with you too." Yoochun shifts, leaning forward with his forearms on his thighs, his face deadly serious. "I realised last weekend I'm gay."
Changmin frowns, his confidence and good mood dissipating. His hyung is teasing him. "Yoochun, I'm serious."
"So am I. I suck cock now. I love the taste of ballsack in the morning."
"Oh gross, that's disgusting." Changmin wringles his nose at the thought, ignoring Yoochun's laughter as he shifts on his bed. "Hyung, I'm really not lying. Kim Jaejoong-"
"-Asked you out. Riiiiight, cause porn stars are always asking their fanboys out." Yoochun drawls, crossing his legs as he physically waves off such a possibility. "All that studying's rotted your brain, just like I knew it would."
"I'm not lying!" Changmin hisses. He turns and pulls his notebook from his bag, flipping through the pages before locating Jaejoong's messy signature and phone number. He shows the page to Yoochun, who leans forward to regard it with curiosity. The smile on his lips seems to fade.
"See," Changmin murmurs, pointing to the autograph like it actually needs pointing out. "He gave me his number."
It's no number Yoochun recognizes. Doubt that this is all isn't a joke begins to rear in his head and he frowns, sliding his fingers over the ink on the page.
"... Alright, fine. So, uh, you have a date with Kim Jaejoong," he finally murmurs, still studying the autograph. Yoochun's (mostly) certain it's not Changmin's handwriting, and while he's still a little disbelieving about the whole story, Changmin's too much of a goody-two-shoes to go to such elaborate lengths to make up a story about meeting a porn star and subsequently snagging a date with said porn star. Yoochun finds that with each passing moment he's accepting the story more and more as fact. After all, who's to say Changmin didn't meet him? Porn stars go out to get coffee sometimes, right? They go out shopping for clothes and groceries and they most certainly, Yoochun muses, go out on dates.
"... So what do you want from me, then?" He finally asks, pulling himself from his thoughts as he looks up at his roommate.
Changmin frowns. "What should I wear?"
"That is such a girl thing to ask." Yoochun snorts, sitting back in his chair. "What happened to gay men having taste?" Changmin levels a withering glare at him and he laughs, rolling his eyes before giving his roommate a smile. "Alright, alright. Where'd he ask you out to?"
Changmin names the Japanese restaurant and Yoochun nods, absently nibbling at his lower lip as he mulls it over. He gets up and begins pawing through his roommate's closet while Changmin looks on in interest. His paper is all but forgotten.
"When is this date of yours anyway?" He asks absently, eying a pair of dark slacks before dismissing them as too formal.
"Tomorrow night," Changmin murmurs, watching the slacks get rejected. "Hey, that's a good pair of pants."
"You're not going to a funeral, dongsaeng." Yoochun throws him a grin before pulling out a pair of expensive, yet faded, worn-looking jeans; the kind of jeans made to look old. He blinks a bit, checking the style and the label. When did Changmin develop a sense of fashion? Yoochun holds them up, eyeing the length and sneaks a peek at Changmin sitting on his bed. The boy would look hot in these, his totally non-gay, completely heterosexual mind thinks. He shows them to Changmin. "Where the hell did you get these?"
"My sister gave them to me for my birthday," Changmin sighs, getting up.
"Why don't you ever wear them?"
"They look like shit." Changmin points at the frayed cuffs and the slight hole in the knee.
"No they don't. It's fashion. They look hot." Yoochun shoves the jeans into Changmin's arms, adding a cream-colored button-down shirt on top. "There. Sophisticated yet relaxed. You'll look like you know how to dress yourself without going overboard."
Changmin frowns down at the clothes, touching the soft material of the jeans before sighing and looking up at his roommate. "Thanks, hyung."
"Don't mention it. And for fuck's sake, tell me about this shit earlier, alright?" Yoochun grins, ruffling his roommate's hair. "I can't believe you met him Monday and didn't think to tell me until Thursday night." Fashion crisis averted, he heaves a sigh before heading back to his computer. Those damn soul-consuming term papers weren't just going to write themselves, after all.
"Hyung, as a straight man, why do you know so much about fashion?" Changmin suddenly asks, carefully laying his date clothing out over the foot of his bed.
"As a gay man, why do you suck at it so badly?" Yoochun replies, the click-clack of his keyboard once more filling their dorm room.
Changmin scowls and sticks out his tongue.
///
Jaejoong told him 7 o'clock, so Changmin arrives 15 minutes early. To his surprise, Jaejoong's already there, occupying a semi-private booth against the far west wall of the restaurant. Even in the dim light he's hard to miss, wearing some bluish sweater with sleeves that look almost too long for his arms and a pair of tight-fitting jeans that do one hell of a job accentuating the shape of his legs. With no hat to cover up his hair, the blond locks seem to glow from the light of the lantern hanging over the table-
-and it is at this point that Changmin realizes his thoughts are starting to sound like a narrative from a really poorly-written teen romance novel.
He mentally chastises himself for staring (and for sounding like an idiot) as he makes his way to the booth, bowing a bit nervously as he slides into the bench opposite of the blond. He sets his things aside before taking a breath and looking up to meet the other's gaze.
And there he is. Kim motherfucking Jaejoong.
In some way Changmin had begun to wonder if this was all a prank of some kind. While he is generally optimistic and tries to see the good in people, he had to admit to himself that he would not have been at all surprised to have been stood up tonight, the victim of Jaejoong's idea of a practical joke; ask a fanboy out and snicker as they wet themselves over the coming date, only to have Jaejoong never arrive.
Now, however, he finds himself feeling guilty as he looks the blond over. Jaejoong seems genuinely pleased to see him. The soft smile he gives him makes Changmin's heart flutter; he's beginning to feel once more like a teenager facing their first crush. The analogy is embarrassing for a college student, to say the least.
"You're early," Changmin finally says, for lack of anything better.
"Couldn't wait to get here," Jaejoong replies, and Changmin wonders what it's supposed to mean. The blond is nursing a bottle of beer, holding a cigarette in his right hand that he absently brings to his lips.
Changmin lowers his eyes as Jaejoong takes a drag. The blond's lips have always been his favorite part of the man's body and watching them suckle on any sort of long, cylindrical object is asinine. Changmin starts to wonder if it was a Very Bad Idea to agree to meet Jaejoong somewhere in public. He knows he has a healthy imagination and the idea of watching Jaejoong eat, drink, talk, and do various other things with his mouth for possibly hours sounds like the setting of another porno Jaejoong's company has yet to film.
His mind casts around for something to say; How's work? sounds like it could be a little tacky. Before Changmin can open his mouth to embarrass himself the waitress arrives, all smiles and just a touch too much perkiness. They order, and Changmin has the waitress bring him a beer of his own. If he's going to get through this with his dignity intact, it's going to be with a little liquid courage.
"So you're a student, right? College student?" Jaejoong finally says, tapping ash off his cigarette into the small glass ashtray on his side of the table. Changmin nods. "What year?"
"U-um, third year," he murmurs, swallowing thickly. He can smell Jaejoong's cigarette and for once in his life, the scent doesn't bother him. It's kind of enticing.
"What're you studying?"
"Medicine," he says, finally raising his eyes to meet Jaejoong's gaze. The man quirks his eyebrows in mild surprise, giving Changmin a little smile.
"Ambitious. You gonna be a doctor, kid?"
Changmin grins a little at that, squirming on the bench. "That's the goal, someday."
The waitress returns with his beer and he grabs it, taking a healthy swig to try to calm his nerves. Jaejoong taps more ash into the ashtray and Changmin can't help taking a moment to admire the man's hands. It looks like Jaejoong's had a manicure done recently; his nails, while clear, seem to glitter in the low light of the lantern. Each nail is perfectly trimmed and rounded, not quite as long as a girl's nails but certainly not cut to the quick. They look like they'd be perfect for tickling or teasing and Changmin's mind takes that thought and runs with it. The image of Jaejoong trailing his nails along the underside of his cock comes unbidden to mind, making his cheeks flush. He imagines Jaejoong digging one nail into the tiny slit at the tip and feels a rush of heat in his belly.
Now is not the time! he thinks to himself, taking another long drink from his beer bottle. Jaejoong is regarding him with curious interest.
"You look flushed," the blond murmurs, a strange smile pulling at his lips and quite suddenly Changmin feels like a fly caught in a spider's web, a deer in the headlights, or any of those other equally overused idioms. What the hell have I gotten myself into, he wonders absently to himself.
The date continues in much the same awkward fashion for another half hour. The food arrives, bringing a blessedly welcome distraction while giving his hands something to do. He pours some soy sauce into the little bowl provided before adding the wasabi, clutching both chopsticks in one hand as he uses them to mush the green goo into the deep-brown liquid.
It's around this moment that Jaejoong tucks his current cigarette into the ashtray with a soft, amused "fuck it." The blond slides out of the booth before making his way around the table and settling down on Changmin's side. But he's not just sitting next to Changmin, no. Apparently Jaejoong has decided he's cold (the only other option being that Jaejoong has completely lost his mind) because he begins invading Changmin's personal space like there's a time limit on it. The blond slides one arm around his shoulders, fingers stroking his upper arm while one hand begins rubbing his thigh. "Changmin-ah," Jaejoong coos, those glorious lips that Changmin has such a crush on parting as the blond slides his tongue against his ear.
Changmin wouldn't have even tried to stop him if he had the mental capacity to do so. As it is, he's fairly certain every ounce of blood that should be manning his brain has fled to his groin. He's impossibly hard (and worried about wrecking his jeans Yoochun's so infatuated with) as Jaejoong slides his fingers over the fly of his pants, nails clicking against the zipper.
"What... are you doing?" Changmin finally manages to whimper aloud, frozen in place. His cheeks are burning as he squirms under the blond's touch.
"You're wound tighter than a fucking guitar string," Jaejoong murmurs, grasping the zipper of his jeans and dragging it down at an agonizingly slow pace. As soon as there's enough room his cock nearly jumps out, covered by only the thin material of his underwear. "This date is probably the shittiest I've ever been on and you're too preoccupied thinking about my mouth and my hands to say anything remotely intelligent. So," he finally sighs, grinning against Changmin's ear as he pops the button of his jeans open, "let's get rid of some of the tension and then we can talk about the elephant in the room."
Which elephant Jaejoong is referring to is beyond him at the moment but the fingers sliding into his underwear are not. If Changmin's common sense had been present, it would've been screaming about how he was at a goddamn restaurant, in public, with his cock hanging out of his pants and a porn star sucking on his earlobe. (Un?)fortunately, Changmin misplaced his common sense back on Monday.
Jaejoong eases his underwear down, fingers teasing across the slit of his cock before squeezing the head. The pinch makes him jump, knee banging against the underside of the table; Jaejoong laughs (the man must be a sadist) as he wraps his fingers around Changmin's cock, giving him one long, slow stroke.
"You've been dreaming about this, haven't you?" the blond whispers in his ear and Changmin closes his eyes, taking a slow breath to keep from moaning. Jaejoong has no idea how close to the mark he is. His mind keeps running in circles that it's Kim fucking Jaejoong who has a hand down his pants and he can't do much but try to keep quiet. The whole restaurant doesn't need to know what's happening in their booth.
Jaejoong gives him another stroke and as much as he would like to contribute the fact that he's already at his wits' end to Jaejoong's handjob prowess, he can't help but wonder if it's more the fault of the hot breath in his ear or the fingers still stroking his upper arm, or the fact that it's motherfucking Kim Jaejoong giving him a handjob at a restaurant.
"Oh god," Changmin finally gasps out softly, blinking rapidly as he feels his balls tighten. Jaejoong snags the napkin off the table and somehow manages to catch the mess Changmin makes, saving him from trashing his jeans and having to explain to the staff of the restaurant what the big white stain is under the table. He casually wads the napkin up, tossing it off to the side of the table before taking a moment to tuck Li'l Min properly back into his home in Changmin's pants, buttoning and zipping everything up.
And then it's like it never happened. Jaejoong takes a moment to wipe his hands off on another napkin before picking up his chopsticks and pulling his plate over in front of him. He snags one of his rolls and dips it in soy sauce, tucking it into his mouth. He chews, reaching over to grab his beer before shifting around and propping his feet up on the bench he used to be sitting on.
Changmin blinks. What the hell just happened?
"You feel better?" Jaejoong finally asks after he swallows, raising his eyebrows at Changmin before taking a drink of his beer.
And despite the absurdness of the situation, he does. When he nods, Jaejoong smiles.
"Good. So now we can get over me being a, um, a porn star and have a proper date thing, yeah?"
Changmin blushes, adjusting his chopsticks before he begins eating. "... Alright."
"Great." Jaejoong frowns at his cigarette that he abandoned. The thing is nearly gone. He takes one final drag from it before mushing it out in the ashtray. "You got any questions for me?"
"How does a porn star date?" he asks softly. The question is formed by his mouth without express consent from his brain, but after it's been voiced he finds he's genuinely curious. Indeed, how does one who's fucking other people on a regular basis build a healthy, honest relationship with someone?
"God, you don't start with the easy ones, do you," Jaejoong mutters, not unkindly. He takes another bite (stalling for time) before reaching for his cigarettes again.
"Alright, kid, it's like this," Jaejoong murmurs as he lights up. "You have sex and love and one does not mean the other. There's fucking and then there's making love. I fuck for a living. It's got nothing to do with feelings and emotions and relationships."
Changmin raises an eyebrow, glancing at Jaejoong before keeping his eyes on his food. "That's kind of cheesy."
"I know it is," the blond replies, grinning. "Just shut up and listen. The people I'm with on camera, they're all great guys but we're just friends. What we do is work. We don't go out on romantic dates and have passionate sex and cuddle and cry in each other's arms. We just fuck on camera."
"Some of it looks really passionate," Changmin murmurs.
"It's called acting, kid." Jaejoong elbows him lightly in the ribs, grinning when Changmin looks up at him. "I don't have those kinds of feelings for any of them. They're nice, but like I said, we're all just friends."
"Alright, but you didn't answer my question," Changmin points out as he tucks another bite into his mouth. "How does a porn star date?"
"We find someone who understands the difference between love and sex," Jaejoong finally replies, taking a drink from his beer before mushing his half-smoked cigarette out. "Someone who's not very jealous. You're not the jealous type, are you, Changmin-ah?"
He chokes on his sushi because that is not the conclusion he had been expecting Jaejoong to reach. Going out on a date and dating someone are two very different concepts, and Changmin's not sure when Jaejoong jumped from one to another. He takes a long drink from his beer, frowning at how close to empty the bottle is; he doesn't feel the least bit buzzed.
"E-excuse me?" he blurts out finally, staring at Jaejoong with big eyes. "I-.... are we dating?"
"I'd like to," Jaejoong replies. His eyes are on his food now and Changmin can't help but keep gawking at him.
"What? Why me?"
Jaejoong seems to mull that over for a bit, tucking the last piece of sushi into his mouth as he thinks. Finally he swallows, setting his chopsticks down before looking up at Changmin.
"Because you spoke to me."
Changmin can't quite think of anything to say.
"I get recognized at least twice a day but people aren't running up to talk to me. I know the ones who recognize me because they're the ones that refuse to look at me."
"I-... why?"
Jaejoong laughs. "Why do you think? I'm not a movie star, Changmin-ah; I'm a porn star. A gay porn star. If people admit to knowing me then it tells everyone else who might recognize me that they watch gay porn. No one wants to own up to that."
Changmin feels color bleeding into his cheeks yet again as Jaejoong pokes him lightly in the chest. "But you, you couldn't care less about any of that. You chased me down the street for a chance to talk to me, without caring about who might see or what other people might think. That takes guts, kid."
Changmin slowly sits back in the booth, staring at Jaejoong in a dazed mix of surprise and bewilderment. The man smiles.
"Look, I'll, ah, I'll give you some time to mull it over, alright?" Jaejoong says suddenly. He checks his phone, groaning a little at the time. "I've got an early shoot in the morning so I gotta roll." He reaches out and ruffles Changmin's hair, grinning at the mess he makes. "I already put the bill on my card. Feel free to get something else if you want."
Changmin watches as Jaejoong grabs his things and gets up, pausing before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Changmin's cheek. "Call me."
And then he's gone. The departure is so sudden and abrupt and unexpected that Changmin finds himself wondering if Jaejoong could have been... nervous. It doesn't seem like such a far-fetched possibility considering the topic of their conversation, but then again this is Kim Jaejoong; he's never nervous, at least, not on camera, but then Jaejoong was already telling him most of the stuff he sees on camera isn't real.
And maybe that's the lesson he was supposed to learn tonight. There's Kim Jaejoong, the porn star, and Kim Jaejoong, the person, and perhaps the dichotomy between them is much bigger than Changmin originally assumed.
Mull it over, Jaejoong had said, so Changmin orders another beer and does just that.
It's a long time later before he finally heads back home.
///
[o1] x [o3]
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boomtrack @ kiiteruno
reallycorking @ corkart
JaeMin, YunJae, BFF!YooMin; NC-17, AU Porn-Star!verse; ~4,000 words
Warnings: Strong language, sex, the usual for me.
A porn star and his fanboy.
AN: AKWGLAKgj For the first time ever I have an ARTIST who drew for my fic! I'm in awe ;_; reallycorking is amazing and incredibly talented, and the fact that she spent time to give this fic some gorgeous art just totally blows my mind. :D! I've linked the art down below in the fic where the scene takes place, so, like, you don't peek at it now and spoil it for yourself. ♥ I had an incredibly awesome time collaborating with her on this chapter and sklgdlkajg I hope we can do something like this again in the (extremely near!) future, bb! ♥♥♥ ILU SO MUCH!
If you want to leave comments specifically for reallycorking, why not head over to the post she made on her art journal for this piece? :D
So, yes, the projected length of this fic just doubled. Sigh. I'm really bad at guesstimating, apparently. Oh and LONG chapter is LONG. This is 4,000+ words.
He breaks the news to Yoochun Thursday night.
It's not really ideal, seeing as Yoochun's working on some soul-consuming term paper that seems to have depleted any sense of humor he may have had. Regardless of Yoochun's state of mind (sanity), Changmin would really rather tell Yoochun about his date with a porn star before said date actually takes place. So, after procrastinating for most of the night, Changmin mumbles a prayer to the roommate gods and forges ahead.
"I," he begins, taking a breath as he stares at the back of Yoochun's head, "have a date tomorrow night."
"Really," Yoochun mutters at his computer screen, his voice carrying all the enthusiasm of someone about to get a tetanus shot. He doesn't even turn around. "That's absolutely fascinating."
"... with Kim Jaejoong."
"Changmin-ah," Yoochun replies with a sigh, eyes still glued to the monitor of his desktop, "I don't know if you've checked the calendar recently, but you're about six months late for April Fool's." He takes a moment to jot some notes down on scrap paper, muttering at the website he's reading. "-even houses class-A war criminals-"
Changmin frowns. "I'm not joking." He shifts a bit on his bed as he watches the back of Yoochun's head, plucking nervously at his comforter.
"Of course you're not," Yoochun sighs again in mild exasperation, slamming his pencil down on the desk before swiveling his swivel chair to face Changmin. "I have a 20-page paper on the Yasukuni Shrine in Japan and it's effect on foreign relations due next week, so unless this is really necessary-"
"I'm not joking," Changmin replies firmly, meeting Yoochun's gaze. His friend blinks a few times, posture relaxing a bit as he sits back in his chair.
"Fine," Yoochun says, crossing his arms over his chest while quirking an eyebrow. "Tell me how you got a date-" he points a finger at Changmin's computer screen, the desktop graced with a wallpaper of Jaejoong (dressed and yet somehow not quite decent) "-with Kim Jaejoong."
Changmin fidgets, feeling awkward under the weight of Yoochun's scrutiny. "I saw him walking down the street, when I was studying at the cafe Monday. I-... went and talked to him," he says in a rush. He doesn't really want to tell Yoochun what an embarrassed, excited little fanboy mess he was in front of Jaejoong. His roommate doesn't need to know about that part.
"... You talked to him," Yoochun says quietly, quirking an eyebrow. Disbelief drips from every syllable and Changmin's not quite sure which which part of the statement Yoochun's skeptical about; the part where he used his vocal chords to make sounds and hold a conversation, or the part where he held a conversation with Kim Jaejoong.
"... Uh huh."
"Uh huh," Yoochun mimics, a smile tugging at his lips. "And then?"
"I asked him for an autograph, and he gave me one. And, uh, his number."
"He gave you his number," Yoochun parrots back to him, nodding his head along. "And?"
"And I called him, um, on Wednesday. And he asked me out."
Yoochun sits quietly, (not so) patiently waiting for the rest.
"... And that's it." Changmin finishes lamely. He watches as Yoochun begins drumming his fingers on his bicep, one eyebrow quirked in amusement.
"And that's it," Yoochun repeats, giving a little laugh. "Gosh, Changmin-ah, that's pretty amazing."
"Yeah?" Changmin smiles a bit, his mood lifting. Who knew this would be so easy?
"Yeah, and I have something to share with you too." Yoochun shifts, leaning forward with his forearms on his thighs, his face deadly serious. "I realised last weekend I'm gay."
Changmin frowns, his confidence and good mood dissipating. His hyung is teasing him. "Yoochun, I'm serious."
"So am I. I suck cock now. I love the taste of ballsack in the morning."
"Oh gross, that's disgusting." Changmin wringles his nose at the thought, ignoring Yoochun's laughter as he shifts on his bed. "Hyung, I'm really not lying. Kim Jaejoong-"
"-Asked you out. Riiiiight, cause porn stars are always asking their fanboys out." Yoochun drawls, crossing his legs as he physically waves off such a possibility. "All that studying's rotted your brain, just like I knew it would."
"I'm not lying!" Changmin hisses. He turns and pulls his notebook from his bag, flipping through the pages before locating Jaejoong's messy signature and phone number. He shows the page to Yoochun, who leans forward to regard it with curiosity. The smile on his lips seems to fade.
"See," Changmin murmurs, pointing to the autograph like it actually needs pointing out. "He gave me his number."
It's no number Yoochun recognizes. Doubt that this is all isn't a joke begins to rear in his head and he frowns, sliding his fingers over the ink on the page.
"... Alright, fine. So, uh, you have a date with Kim Jaejoong," he finally murmurs, still studying the autograph. Yoochun's (mostly) certain it's not Changmin's handwriting, and while he's still a little disbelieving about the whole story, Changmin's too much of a goody-two-shoes to go to such elaborate lengths to make up a story about meeting a porn star and subsequently snagging a date with said porn star. Yoochun finds that with each passing moment he's accepting the story more and more as fact. After all, who's to say Changmin didn't meet him? Porn stars go out to get coffee sometimes, right? They go out shopping for clothes and groceries and they most certainly, Yoochun muses, go out on dates.
"... So what do you want from me, then?" He finally asks, pulling himself from his thoughts as he looks up at his roommate.
Changmin frowns. "What should I wear?"
"That is such a girl thing to ask." Yoochun snorts, sitting back in his chair. "What happened to gay men having taste?" Changmin levels a withering glare at him and he laughs, rolling his eyes before giving his roommate a smile. "Alright, alright. Where'd he ask you out to?"
Changmin names the Japanese restaurant and Yoochun nods, absently nibbling at his lower lip as he mulls it over. He gets up and begins pawing through his roommate's closet while Changmin looks on in interest. His paper is all but forgotten.
"When is this date of yours anyway?" He asks absently, eying a pair of dark slacks before dismissing them as too formal.
"Tomorrow night," Changmin murmurs, watching the slacks get rejected. "Hey, that's a good pair of pants."
"You're not going to a funeral, dongsaeng." Yoochun throws him a grin before pulling out a pair of expensive, yet faded, worn-looking jeans; the kind of jeans made to look old. He blinks a bit, checking the style and the label. When did Changmin develop a sense of fashion? Yoochun holds them up, eyeing the length and sneaks a peek at Changmin sitting on his bed. The boy would look hot in these, his totally non-gay, completely heterosexual mind thinks. He shows them to Changmin. "Where the hell did you get these?"
"My sister gave them to me for my birthday," Changmin sighs, getting up.
"Why don't you ever wear them?"
"They look like shit." Changmin points at the frayed cuffs and the slight hole in the knee.
"No they don't. It's fashion. They look hot." Yoochun shoves the jeans into Changmin's arms, adding a cream-colored button-down shirt on top. "There. Sophisticated yet relaxed. You'll look like you know how to dress yourself without going overboard."
Changmin frowns down at the clothes, touching the soft material of the jeans before sighing and looking up at his roommate. "Thanks, hyung."
"Don't mention it. And for fuck's sake, tell me about this shit earlier, alright?" Yoochun grins, ruffling his roommate's hair. "I can't believe you met him Monday and didn't think to tell me until Thursday night." Fashion crisis averted, he heaves a sigh before heading back to his computer. Those damn soul-consuming term papers weren't just going to write themselves, after all.
"Hyung, as a straight man, why do you know so much about fashion?" Changmin suddenly asks, carefully laying his date clothing out over the foot of his bed.
"As a gay man, why do you suck at it so badly?" Yoochun replies, the click-clack of his keyboard once more filling their dorm room.
Changmin scowls and sticks out his tongue.
///
Jaejoong told him 7 o'clock, so Changmin arrives 15 minutes early. To his surprise, Jaejoong's already there, occupying a semi-private booth against the far west wall of the restaurant. Even in the dim light he's hard to miss, wearing some bluish sweater with sleeves that look almost too long for his arms and a pair of tight-fitting jeans that do one hell of a job accentuating the shape of his legs. With no hat to cover up his hair, the blond locks seem to glow from the light of the lantern hanging over the table-
-and it is at this point that Changmin realizes his thoughts are starting to sound like a narrative from a really poorly-written teen romance novel.
He mentally chastises himself for staring (and for sounding like an idiot) as he makes his way to the booth, bowing a bit nervously as he slides into the bench opposite of the blond. He sets his things aside before taking a breath and looking up to meet the other's gaze.
And there he is. Kim motherfucking Jaejoong.
In some way Changmin had begun to wonder if this was all a prank of some kind. While he is generally optimistic and tries to see the good in people, he had to admit to himself that he would not have been at all surprised to have been stood up tonight, the victim of Jaejoong's idea of a practical joke; ask a fanboy out and snicker as they wet themselves over the coming date, only to have Jaejoong never arrive.
Now, however, he finds himself feeling guilty as he looks the blond over. Jaejoong seems genuinely pleased to see him. The soft smile he gives him makes Changmin's heart flutter; he's beginning to feel once more like a teenager facing their first crush. The analogy is embarrassing for a college student, to say the least.
"You're early," Changmin finally says, for lack of anything better.
"Couldn't wait to get here," Jaejoong replies, and Changmin wonders what it's supposed to mean. The blond is nursing a bottle of beer, holding a cigarette in his right hand that he absently brings to his lips.
Changmin lowers his eyes as Jaejoong takes a drag. The blond's lips have always been his favorite part of the man's body and watching them suckle on any sort of long, cylindrical object is asinine. Changmin starts to wonder if it was a Very Bad Idea to agree to meet Jaejoong somewhere in public. He knows he has a healthy imagination and the idea of watching Jaejoong eat, drink, talk, and do various other things with his mouth for possibly hours sounds like the setting of another porno Jaejoong's company has yet to film.
His mind casts around for something to say; How's work? sounds like it could be a little tacky. Before Changmin can open his mouth to embarrass himself the waitress arrives, all smiles and just a touch too much perkiness. They order, and Changmin has the waitress bring him a beer of his own. If he's going to get through this with his dignity intact, it's going to be with a little liquid courage.
"So you're a student, right? College student?" Jaejoong finally says, tapping ash off his cigarette into the small glass ashtray on his side of the table. Changmin nods. "What year?"
"U-um, third year," he murmurs, swallowing thickly. He can smell Jaejoong's cigarette and for once in his life, the scent doesn't bother him. It's kind of enticing.
"What're you studying?"
"Medicine," he says, finally raising his eyes to meet Jaejoong's gaze. The man quirks his eyebrows in mild surprise, giving Changmin a little smile.
"Ambitious. You gonna be a doctor, kid?"
Changmin grins a little at that, squirming on the bench. "That's the goal, someday."
The waitress returns with his beer and he grabs it, taking a healthy swig to try to calm his nerves. Jaejoong taps more ash into the ashtray and Changmin can't help taking a moment to admire the man's hands. It looks like Jaejoong's had a manicure done recently; his nails, while clear, seem to glitter in the low light of the lantern. Each nail is perfectly trimmed and rounded, not quite as long as a girl's nails but certainly not cut to the quick. They look like they'd be perfect for tickling or teasing and Changmin's mind takes that thought and runs with it. The image of Jaejoong trailing his nails along the underside of his cock comes unbidden to mind, making his cheeks flush. He imagines Jaejoong digging one nail into the tiny slit at the tip and feels a rush of heat in his belly.
Now is not the time! he thinks to himself, taking another long drink from his beer bottle. Jaejoong is regarding him with curious interest.
"You look flushed," the blond murmurs, a strange smile pulling at his lips and quite suddenly Changmin feels like a fly caught in a spider's web, a deer in the headlights, or any of those other equally overused idioms. What the hell have I gotten myself into, he wonders absently to himself.
The date continues in much the same awkward fashion for another half hour. The food arrives, bringing a blessedly welcome distraction while giving his hands something to do. He pours some soy sauce into the little bowl provided before adding the wasabi, clutching both chopsticks in one hand as he uses them to mush the green goo into the deep-brown liquid.
It's around this moment that Jaejoong tucks his current cigarette into the ashtray with a soft, amused "fuck it." The blond slides out of the booth before making his way around the table and settling down on Changmin's side. But he's not just sitting next to Changmin, no. Apparently Jaejoong has decided he's cold (the only other option being that Jaejoong has completely lost his mind) because he begins invading Changmin's personal space like there's a time limit on it. The blond slides one arm around his shoulders, fingers stroking his upper arm while one hand begins rubbing his thigh. "Changmin-ah," Jaejoong coos, those glorious lips that Changmin has such a crush on parting as the blond slides his tongue against his ear.
Changmin wouldn't have even tried to stop him if he had the mental capacity to do so. As it is, he's fairly certain every ounce of blood that should be manning his brain has fled to his groin. He's impossibly hard (and worried about wrecking his jeans Yoochun's so infatuated with) as Jaejoong slides his fingers over the fly of his pants, nails clicking against the zipper.
"What... are you doing?" Changmin finally manages to whimper aloud, frozen in place. His cheeks are burning as he squirms under the blond's touch.
"You're wound tighter than a fucking guitar string," Jaejoong murmurs, grasping the zipper of his jeans and dragging it down at an agonizingly slow pace. As soon as there's enough room his cock nearly jumps out, covered by only the thin material of his underwear. "This date is probably the shittiest I've ever been on and you're too preoccupied thinking about my mouth and my hands to say anything remotely intelligent. So," he finally sighs, grinning against Changmin's ear as he pops the button of his jeans open, "let's get rid of some of the tension and then we can talk about the elephant in the room."
Which elephant Jaejoong is referring to is beyond him at the moment but the fingers sliding into his underwear are not. If Changmin's common sense had been present, it would've been screaming about how he was at a goddamn restaurant, in public, with his cock hanging out of his pants and a porn star sucking on his earlobe. (Un?)fortunately, Changmin misplaced his common sense back on Monday.
Jaejoong eases his underwear down, fingers teasing across the slit of his cock before squeezing the head. The pinch makes him jump, knee banging against the underside of the table; Jaejoong laughs (the man must be a sadist) as he wraps his fingers around Changmin's cock, giving him one long, slow stroke.
"You've been dreaming about this, haven't you?" the blond whispers in his ear and Changmin closes his eyes, taking a slow breath to keep from moaning. Jaejoong has no idea how close to the mark he is. His mind keeps running in circles that it's Kim fucking Jaejoong who has a hand down his pants and he can't do much but try to keep quiet. The whole restaurant doesn't need to know what's happening in their booth.
Jaejoong gives him another stroke and as much as he would like to contribute the fact that he's already at his wits' end to Jaejoong's handjob prowess, he can't help but wonder if it's more the fault of the hot breath in his ear or the fingers still stroking his upper arm, or the fact that it's motherfucking Kim Jaejoong giving him a handjob at a restaurant.
"Oh god," Changmin finally gasps out softly, blinking rapidly as he feels his balls tighten. Jaejoong snags the napkin off the table and somehow manages to catch the mess Changmin makes, saving him from trashing his jeans and having to explain to the staff of the restaurant what the big white stain is under the table. He casually wads the napkin up, tossing it off to the side of the table before taking a moment to tuck Li'l Min properly back into his home in Changmin's pants, buttoning and zipping everything up.
And then it's like it never happened. Jaejoong takes a moment to wipe his hands off on another napkin before picking up his chopsticks and pulling his plate over in front of him. He snags one of his rolls and dips it in soy sauce, tucking it into his mouth. He chews, reaching over to grab his beer before shifting around and propping his feet up on the bench he used to be sitting on.
Changmin blinks. What the hell just happened?
"You feel better?" Jaejoong finally asks after he swallows, raising his eyebrows at Changmin before taking a drink of his beer.
And despite the absurdness of the situation, he does. When he nods, Jaejoong smiles.
"Good. So now we can get over me being a, um, a porn star and have a proper date thing, yeah?"
Changmin blushes, adjusting his chopsticks before he begins eating. "... Alright."
"Great." Jaejoong frowns at his cigarette that he abandoned. The thing is nearly gone. He takes one final drag from it before mushing it out in the ashtray. "You got any questions for me?"
"How does a porn star date?" he asks softly. The question is formed by his mouth without express consent from his brain, but after it's been voiced he finds he's genuinely curious. Indeed, how does one who's fucking other people on a regular basis build a healthy, honest relationship with someone?
"God, you don't start with the easy ones, do you," Jaejoong mutters, not unkindly. He takes another bite (stalling for time) before reaching for his cigarettes again.
"Alright, kid, it's like this," Jaejoong murmurs as he lights up. "You have sex and love and one does not mean the other. There's fucking and then there's making love. I fuck for a living. It's got nothing to do with feelings and emotions and relationships."
Changmin raises an eyebrow, glancing at Jaejoong before keeping his eyes on his food. "That's kind of cheesy."
"I know it is," the blond replies, grinning. "Just shut up and listen. The people I'm with on camera, they're all great guys but we're just friends. What we do is work. We don't go out on romantic dates and have passionate sex and cuddle and cry in each other's arms. We just fuck on camera."
"Some of it looks really passionate," Changmin murmurs.
"It's called acting, kid." Jaejoong elbows him lightly in the ribs, grinning when Changmin looks up at him. "I don't have those kinds of feelings for any of them. They're nice, but like I said, we're all just friends."
"Alright, but you didn't answer my question," Changmin points out as he tucks another bite into his mouth. "How does a porn star date?"
"We find someone who understands the difference between love and sex," Jaejoong finally replies, taking a drink from his beer before mushing his half-smoked cigarette out. "Someone who's not very jealous. You're not the jealous type, are you, Changmin-ah?"
He chokes on his sushi because that is not the conclusion he had been expecting Jaejoong to reach. Going out on a date and dating someone are two very different concepts, and Changmin's not sure when Jaejoong jumped from one to another. He takes a long drink from his beer, frowning at how close to empty the bottle is; he doesn't feel the least bit buzzed.
"E-excuse me?" he blurts out finally, staring at Jaejoong with big eyes. "I-.... are we dating?"
"I'd like to," Jaejoong replies. His eyes are on his food now and Changmin can't help but keep gawking at him.
"What? Why me?"
Jaejoong seems to mull that over for a bit, tucking the last piece of sushi into his mouth as he thinks. Finally he swallows, setting his chopsticks down before looking up at Changmin.
"Because you spoke to me."
Changmin can't quite think of anything to say.
"I get recognized at least twice a day but people aren't running up to talk to me. I know the ones who recognize me because they're the ones that refuse to look at me."
"I-... why?"
Jaejoong laughs. "Why do you think? I'm not a movie star, Changmin-ah; I'm a porn star. A gay porn star. If people admit to knowing me then it tells everyone else who might recognize me that they watch gay porn. No one wants to own up to that."
Changmin feels color bleeding into his cheeks yet again as Jaejoong pokes him lightly in the chest. "But you, you couldn't care less about any of that. You chased me down the street for a chance to talk to me, without caring about who might see or what other people might think. That takes guts, kid."
Changmin slowly sits back in the booth, staring at Jaejoong in a dazed mix of surprise and bewilderment. The man smiles.
"Look, I'll, ah, I'll give you some time to mull it over, alright?" Jaejoong says suddenly. He checks his phone, groaning a little at the time. "I've got an early shoot in the morning so I gotta roll." He reaches out and ruffles Changmin's hair, grinning at the mess he makes. "I already put the bill on my card. Feel free to get something else if you want."
Changmin watches as Jaejoong grabs his things and gets up, pausing before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Changmin's cheek. "Call me."
And then he's gone. The departure is so sudden and abrupt and unexpected that Changmin finds himself wondering if Jaejoong could have been... nervous. It doesn't seem like such a far-fetched possibility considering the topic of their conversation, but then again this is Kim Jaejoong; he's never nervous, at least, not on camera, but then Jaejoong was already telling him most of the stuff he sees on camera isn't real.
And maybe that's the lesson he was supposed to learn tonight. There's Kim Jaejoong, the porn star, and Kim Jaejoong, the person, and perhaps the dichotomy between them is much bigger than Changmin originally assumed.
Mull it over, Jaejoong had said, so Changmin orders another beer and does just that.
It's a long time later before he finally heads back home.
///
[o1] x [o3]
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