On Fathers and Death and Pineapple Cakes

[kiharukitty]

It's officially not my dad's birthday.

It's the third one I've half not-celebrated since he died.  The third year we trooped in the rain across the red clay and weedy grass of the military cemetery to leave behind sunflowers and mums and a little American flag.  The third year I haven't made a pineapple cake.

I only ever made that cake on his

Comments

[badapplebettie]

I know how you feel. My mom's birthday was on the 11th. She would have been 64. She died five years ago this coming February. We made a big deal of the fact that our birthdays were just one day apart. It does get easier. Not that I have much more experience with this than you. But I am finding that as each year goes by, it gets a little easier.

[kiharukitty]

It does get a bit easier. My dad will have been gone 3 years come January, and it feels like this is the first year that anything feels even remotely normal. There are rough points, sure, like yesterday, and Father's Day of course, which always comes right before my birthday. But I force myself to remember what he always said, every day, before the cancer took him: "I'm alive and I'm going to enjoy every day I have, cause I don't know when I'll run out."

Odd random fact to change the mood: my mom and one of my sisters have birthdays 2 days apart, in the same month as my late grandmother, and niece and nephew, whose birthdays are also 2 days apart. May is a very expensive month for me.

[tingreca]

Although I still have both of my parents, it's very hard seeing them grow older. Your message hits me hard today, as I am getting on a plane in a couple of hours to visit them, along with my sister who flew in from Israel. We are celebrating their 94th birthdays and their 67th wedding anniversary.
Thank you for the reminder that, altho I will be walking very slowly, hearing the same things many times and refraining from being shocked at their changed appearances, they are still there to be visited and appreciated.
I'd make the cake and eat it happily in his honor. Go for it!

[kiharukitty]

It really is hard watching them get older, isn't it? My mom has some serious health issues, and it looks like she's going to need another back surgery soon. It's painful to see my vibrant, smiling mom be so tired and stooped. But I treasure every day I have with her, and if I can remind a single person to do the same, I'll consider it a check for my day.

You are truly blessed to still have them both. And wow, 67 years together? That's so great! Lots of love going out to all of you.

And I think I will give the cake a go. Holiday season is coming up, and I think my family would appreciate it.