Songs - Sexy and I know it - Crossover with Pitch Perfect - Faberrez (Fapezberry)
Part of my Glee ‘Songs’ series. Crossover with Pitch Perfect
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn/Santana, hints of a future Beca/Chloe/Aubrey; Beca/Rachel friendship
Rating: T
Words: 850
Disclaimer: nothing is mine
Note: English is not my first language. Thanks to myxe for the help.
”No.”
The Bellas were, once again, reunited in Beca’s room. Having returned early from spring break, they were trying to convince Aubrey to let Beca back into the group.
“Don’t worry. She’ll realize that you helped us in the end,” Chloe said.
“That’s what I told her, but no… Of course she never listens to me,” a voice complained, before Aubrey could say anything about Chloe’s statement.
“Rachel!” Beca turned around in surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“The same as what I was doing this morning, and yesterday, and the day before and-”
“Yup, got it.” Beca interrupted her quickly. “I meant, shouldn’t you be out with…” She trailed off.
“Have you ever been out in public with children?” Rachel asked.
“No, and thank God for that.”
“Well,” Rachel continued, “they are worse, because when they fight they throw insults and try to slap each other.”
“I still don’t see why you put up with them.” Beca shook her head, smirking.
“Oh, you know why.” Rachel smirked back. “Right, girls?”
“What?” Quinn and Santana arrived.
“Right?” Rachel repeated, looking at them pointedly.
“Of course,” they answered. Beca sniggered and made whipping sounds.
“About what?” Santana ignored the DJ.
“Everything.”
Everyone chuckled at Rachel’s answer.
Quinn rolled her eyes. “Okay, but what about this particular occasion?”
“Oh. Well, I told Beca that Aubrey would realize that by changing their performance, Beca actually helped them and that Aubrey would forgive her. It’s like what happened to me.”
“What happened to you?”
“You’re Chloe, right?” Rachel asked the redhead who asked the question. “Well, we were trying to get more members for our glee club, and our coach wanted us to sing a disco song. I mean, really? What kind of person would think ‘Le Freak’ is a good song choice to convince teenagers that show choir isn’t lame and that they should join?” Rachel grew fervent.
“Even Kurt thought it was really gay,” Quinn pointed out, putting a hand on Rachel’s arm to calm her down.
“And he’s not called Lady Hummel for nothing,” Santana added.
Rachel continued, “I suggested a number that would give the students exactly what they wanted…”
“Blood?” Lily suggested.
“Even better: sex,” Rachel said.
“I like the sound of this already,” Stacie said happily.
“Anyway, we performed Push it, Mr. Schuester got angry at me, and then everyone in the club blamed me even though they had agreed with it in the first place.” Rachel rolled her eyes. “Whatever. We achieved our goal in the end, because more people joined the club and we were then able to compete.” Rachel finished the story with a smile on her face.
“I think it had more to do with the fact that you basically dry humped Quinn’s boyfriend on stage and they got jealous,” Beca said, gesturing to Quinn and Santana.
“Whatever,” Rachel said dismissively, waving away Beca’s comment. “If they had joined from the start they would have been the ones I dry humped on that stage. It’s their loss.”
“Hey!” Quinn and Santana protested.
“So you dumped your boyfriend?” Cynthia Rose asked Quinn.
“Of course not.” Quinn looked at her like she was crazy. “He was dumb enough not to question it whenever I stopped his attempts of making out to pray.”
“Pray?” The Bellas were confused.
“Yes, pray. Plus he spent half his time chasing Rachel’s skirt and ignoring me.”
“As did like, half of the school.” Santana scowled at the memories.
“What can I say? I’m sexy and they knew it.” Rachel smirked.
“The only good thing about your skirts was that they were too short for him to catch them.”
“I didn’t hear you complaining at the time, Santana.”
“Wait. I don’t understand… Quinn and Finn were together, but Finn wanted Rachel, who-”
“Let’s just say that Finn was their beard, and they are all gay,” Beca interrupted, simplifying it for Stacie.
“I’m bisexual,” Rachel corrected.
“We’re just curious,” Amy said defensively.
“It seems interesting,” Cynthia Rose said.
“Yeah, if you’re into badly written soap operas.” Beca rolled her eyes.
“So… you three… like a threesome?” Stacie asked.
“We prefer to call it polyamorous relationship. Threesome makes it sound like some one-night stand or sexual experiment,” Rachel explained, “and it’s not.”
“Yep. Definitely not a one night stand… and we definitely don’t do it just once a night either.” Santana winked.
“Do you ever think about anything other than sex?” Beca asked her.
“Have you seen my girls?” Santana retorted.
“I’ve seen Rachel.” Beca smirked as Santana and Quinn glared at her.
“What?” Aubrey asked, failing to keep the shock out of her voice. She shared a look with Chloe. “I mean-” Aubrey cleared her throat- “how did you all meet?”
“Beca was the first to know about us. She was totally supportive, right from the start.” Rachel smiled knowingly at the blonde. “That is, if you’re wondering.”
“What? Why would I want to know that?” Aubrey squeaked.
“Yeah, why would you?” Santana looked at Rachel. “It’s not like blondie wants to bang midget and ginger over here or anything.”