Here, have a Axel. Watch out, it comes with stabbity ends, though. :(
So like you probably guessed from the subject line I am giving away ONE (1) free Axel wait that's not it. I am ranting away about one(1) free with a price not enclosed on the package Axel. That's better. Two sencentences in and I already made a package joke. Oh, this is gonna be good.
So, unlike the people who did the Riku and Roxas rant, I have no pictures I can make the post prettier with. I'd apologise but my handwriting is terrible enough you should all be happy I am not inflicting it upon all of you.
THIS RANT IS HERE TO TRY TO PROVE THE FOLLOWING FACTS (that have been forgotten or abused like my capslock):
AXEL IS A BASTARD
AXEL IS A JERK
AXEL IS A BACKSTABBING SON OF A BITCH
AXEL IS A WHIPPED PUPPY WHEN IT COMES TO ROXAS
AXEL DOES WHAT IS GOOD FOR AXEL BECAUSE HE IS A SELF-CENTERED MORON
AXEL IS SARCASTIC AND MEAN :(
AXEL IS-- just. plain. weird.
AXEL IS A MANIPULATIVE ASSHOLE
AXEL IS ALSO A NOBODY WHICH MEANS HE ISSUES (all nobodies are emo kids :()
AXEL WISHES I WOULD STOP INSULTING HIM, ONE DAY
AXEL CAN GO DIE.
AXEL IS ALREADY DEAD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND WILL NOW MAKE SURE I AM TOO.
The last three points have been erased from today's topic, because I wish to live it is not important.
Right! Axel. Axel, Axel, Axel Lea?. In numerous fanfics, lots of fans seem to forget what the hell Axel is. (Most fans seem to blame this on KH2!Axel not being a jerk enough, but I shun these people because even when I hadn't played CoM I thought he was such a-- yes, right, stopping it with the insults now.) And by "What the hell Axel is", I don't mean a Nobody. Even if sometimes fans seem to forget about that, too.
Let's go back to the basis! At first glance, Axel is a Nobody. A member of Organization XIII. Number 8; Flurry of the Dancing Flames (not furry, so no Kitten!Roxas for you) and a redhead voice by Quinton Flynn. He can use FIRE (not a pyromaniac, however most things can probably be answered by fire). Also, largest hips of the Organization. Even if I maintain a dress would look terrible on him, he is made of sharp angles and bony edges. He's a frickin' steak stick (I AM NOT HUNGRY. SHUSH.) with no heart and the weirdest haircut ever.
So Axel is a broom. This does not mean he is used to clean floors, no. Axel cleans floor with you and your body. Ask Vexen. See, even if in appearence all he seems to be is another one a' those pretty boys, heh?, he is one of the rare people I can say quite clearly that you do not want as your enemy ever. My vocabulary is not suffering from nothin'.
Let's recap, guys. In Chain of Memories, we had six(6) Nobodies. Three of the originals, scientists with calculative minds and enough power to reduce any Non-Keyblade-Bearing human to dust (for those who don't remember the names, it's Zexion, Vexen and Lexaeus. Got it memorized?). Then we have the sadistic duo of Marluxia and Larxene and I'd prefer not to venture into that too much. They scare me. And finally, we have Axel.
In Chain of Memories it was a game of power and mindplay between all of them with Riku and Sora thrown in the balance. In the end, the only one who was still alive? Yeah, the one and only-- Axel. So yeah, fighting wise and mentally wise, he's as manipulative and strong as they get. Plus, he's a backstabber. Axel is the traitor of all traitors because all he does is for his own benifit.
Axel ain't no pushover. He's a jerk, an asshole, a -- stopping it with the insults, I said! Of course, that's all fine and good, but there is one teeny problem with this. It's a good part of who he is (or considering he's a Nobody, who he isn't. Who he is lacking. I. I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.) but not the whole (... lack of whole? Good god, I am never whining about Nobodies ever again). Why?
Because there's the Roxas element.
See, explaining with maths. Axel is like. Y. And Roxas is like, X. So Axel depends on Roxas as Y depends on X. Say they're an equation. Like Axel (Y) = Nobody+Asshole+Jerk+Manipulator+Backstabber+Traitor+Sarcastic or something. But then you add Roxas in the whole equation. Gives you something like. Say.
Axel(Y)xRoxas(X)= Nobody+Asshole+Jerk+Manipulator+Backstabber+Traitor+Sarcastic+Woobie+Whipped+Oh shit he may care.
There is no minus. See, Roxas ADDS to Axel's character. It's not because Roxas changes his basic function into something slightly less assholic (Axel is proud to not be a member of the Asshole Anonymous, no matter how many time he is sent an invitation) that he is still not, in the end, an asshole. If Y = 3 and X = 2 then Y will still equal three even if X is added or multiplied with him. Why I am explaining this with maths when half of the Internet sucks at algebra I do not know. I think I miss my math class or something incomprehensible like that.
Anyway. Roxas is important to Axel but not enough so that he will risk his ass getting turned into a Dusk for it. Nor does it change who he is...who he isn't...who he is lacking-- stupid Nobodies.
So Axel isn't JUST an asshole (etcetcetc) and he isn't JUST an adorable widdle puppy that loves his Roxy-poo vewy much. Gwot it memowized you widdle poopsy-poo?
RIGHT. I'M SURE THERE WAS A POINT IN THIS, I'M SURE I MISSED IT, BUT IN THE END. What I wanted to say was.
Axel can be a bastard and fluffy at the same time! It's possible!
Oh, like I can end a rant on Axel without saying it.
Got it memorized?
So, unlike the people who did the Riku and Roxas rant, I have no pictures I can make the post prettier with. I'd apologise but my handwriting is terrible enough you should all be happy I am not inflicting it upon all of you.
THIS RANT IS HERE TO TRY TO PROVE THE FOLLOWING FACTS (that have been forgotten or abused like my capslock):
AXEL IS A BASTARD
AXEL IS A JERK
AXEL IS A BACKSTABBING SON OF A BITCH
AXEL IS A WHIPPED PUPPY WHEN IT COMES TO ROXAS
AXEL DOES WHAT IS GOOD FOR AXEL BECAUSE HE IS A SELF-CENTERED MORON
AXEL IS SARCASTIC AND MEAN :(
AXEL IS-- just. plain. weird.
AXEL IS A MANIPULATIVE ASSHOLE
AXEL IS ALSO A NOBODY WHICH MEANS HE ISSUES (all nobodies are emo kids :()
AXEL WISHES I WOULD STOP INSULTING HIM, ONE DAY
AXEL CAN GO DIE.
AXEL IS ALREADY DEAD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, AND WILL NOW MAKE SURE I AM TOO.
The last three points have been erased from today's topic, because I wish to live it is not important.
Right! Axel. Axel, Axel, Axel Lea?. In numerous fanfics, lots of fans seem to forget what the hell Axel is. (Most fans seem to blame this on KH2!Axel not being a jerk enough, but I shun these people because even when I hadn't played CoM I thought he was such a-- yes, right, stopping it with the insults now.) And by "What the hell Axel is", I don't mean a Nobody. Even if sometimes fans seem to forget about that, too.
Let's go back to the basis! At first glance, Axel is a Nobody. A member of Organization XIII. Number 8; Flurry of the Dancing Flames (not furry, so no Kitten!Roxas for you) and a redhead voice by Quinton Flynn. He can use FIRE (not a pyromaniac, however most things can probably be answered by fire). Also, largest hips of the Organization. Even if I maintain a dress would look terrible on him, he is made of sharp angles and bony edges. He's a frickin' steak stick (I AM NOT HUNGRY. SHUSH.) with no heart and the weirdest haircut ever.
So Axel is a broom. This does not mean he is used to clean floors, no. Axel cleans floor with you and your body. Ask Vexen. See, even if in appearence all he seems to be is another one a' those pretty boys, heh?, he is one of the rare people I can say quite clearly that you do not want as your enemy ever. My vocabulary is not suffering from nothin'.
Let's recap, guys. In Chain of Memories, we had six(6) Nobodies. Three of the originals, scientists with calculative minds and enough power to reduce any Non-Keyblade-Bearing human to dust (for those who don't remember the names, it's Zexion, Vexen and Lexaeus. Got it memorized?). Then we have the sadistic duo of Marluxia and Larxene and I'd prefer not to venture into that too much. They scare me. And finally, we have Axel.
In Chain of Memories it was a game of power and mindplay between all of them with Riku and Sora thrown in the balance. In the end, the only one who was still alive? Yeah, the one and only-- Axel. So yeah, fighting wise and mentally wise, he's as manipulative and strong as they get. Plus, he's a backstabber. Axel is the traitor of all traitors because all he does is for his own benifit.
Axel ain't no pushover. He's a jerk, an asshole, a -- stopping it with the insults, I said! Of course, that's all fine and good, but there is one teeny problem with this. It's a good part of who he is (or considering he's a Nobody, who he isn't. Who he is lacking. I. I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.) but not the whole (... lack of whole? Good god, I am never whining about Nobodies ever again). Why?
Because there's the Roxas element.
See, explaining with maths. Axel is like. Y. And Roxas is like, X. So Axel depends on Roxas as Y depends on X. Say they're an equation. Like Axel (Y) = Nobody+Asshole+Jerk+Manipulator+Backstabber+Traitor+Sarcastic or something. But then you add Roxas in the whole equation. Gives you something like. Say.
Axel(Y)xRoxas(X)= Nobody+Asshole+Jerk+Manipulator+Backstabber+Traitor+Sarcastic+Woobie+Whipped+Oh shit he may care.
There is no minus. See, Roxas ADDS to Axel's character. It's not because Roxas changes his basic function into something slightly less assholic (Axel is proud to not be a member of the Asshole Anonymous, no matter how many time he is sent an invitation) that he is still not, in the end, an asshole. If Y = 3 and X = 2 then Y will still equal three even if X is added or multiplied with him. Why I am explaining this with maths when half of the Internet sucks at algebra I do not know. I think I miss my math class or something incomprehensible like that.
Anyway. Roxas is important to Axel but not enough so that he will risk his ass getting turned into a Dusk for it. Nor does it change who he is...who he isn't...who he is lacking-- stupid Nobodies.
So Axel isn't JUST an asshole (etcetcetc) and he isn't JUST an adorable widdle puppy that loves his Roxy-poo vewy much. Gwot it memowized you widdle poopsy-poo?
RIGHT. I'M SURE THERE WAS A POINT IN THIS, I'M SURE I MISSED IT, BUT IN THE END. What I wanted to say was.
Axel can be a bastard and fluffy at the same time! It's possible!
Oh, like I can end a rant on Axel without saying it.
Got it memorized?