Hunger Games fic: "Easy Sleep" (Katniss/Peeta) (PG)

[khasael]

Title: Easy Sleep
Author: Khas // khasael
Beta: geminai5 
Characters/Pairing: Katniss/Peeta
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~750
Spoilers: For the whole of the series, but especially Mockingjay (takes place around the epilogue).
Summary: Peeta used to help Katniss sleep. This time, she returns the favor.

Author's Notes: My first foray into fic for this fandom. Just a little

Comments

[kayoko]

BEAUTIFUL. Gawd, you're like the queen of angst and they definitely have lots of angsting going on. I love how you chose this scene in their lives. I think pregnancy is a beautiful thing and will probably make them realise that yes, things have changed, but at the same time, they still live with the horrors of their childhood. I see it as a turning point in their lives and you really reflected that view.

I must point out that there's a lot of commas in this piece, especially where the sentence is spilt with something in the middle. Like:

And though he only tells me the same things I already know, it's different coming from him, hearing the words whispered in my ear as we lie together in the dark.

And then immediately after,

His voice is soothing, and it always conveys the utter devotion he feels to me-to us, now.

I think the sentence structure is a bit abused here and makes it a bit choppy at times.

[khasael]

Thank you so much! Glad you liked it :)

As for the commas, I am aware I tend to abuse them. It's something one particular beta is trying to beat out of me. I'll go back over those spots and see which changes might improve it! Thanks for the feedback! *glomps you*

[nicevenn]

I don't read this pairing (haven't even read the trilogy), but I clicked on this out of curiosity and want to join the comma discussion. LOL!

Commas have been causing me a lot of grief lately. There seems to be a trend towards fewer commas these days, which is at odds with what I was taught at school. I like the trend, but sometimes it confuses me --especially when I try to avoid commas, and then the betas stick them in there. Grrr.

[khasael]

I'm with you on both the trend towards fewer, and that trend being out of line with what they beat into us in school (especially in my AP lit/comp classes). As far as trying to reach a happy medium, sometimes I go back through and try to nix a few (I didn't with this piece). Mostly, I wait to see what any given beta will say, and if they suggest fewer (and point out which ones could go away or might be better replaced by a different punctuation mark), and if that makes sense to me, I'll change it.

I think part of the problem is that I genuinely THINK with a lot of commas. Part of that might be the ADD--not sure, though. But I also SPEAK with them. If I were to read this piece aloud, as I intended it to sound, you'd hear them, even if I had taken them out.

[khasael]

Thank you very much! That's so nice of you to say :)

[khasael]

Aw, thank you! Glad you felt that way :)

Also, yay, Hunger Games icon! I really need one! (actually, I need one for another of my fandoms, too. Must get on that)

[kayoko]

I found you icons! If you haven't seen them already....icons. They're pretty too. If you keep writing Hunger Games fic, I may have to nab a couple!

[vanessawolfie]

Honey, your writing is amazing to say the least. This is so TRUE.

[khasael]

Aww, thank you SO much! Glad you liked it!