Please put on your understandy pants...

[khall]

       So one of the things I have written about before is giving children simplistic notions of good and evil. This person hurt me, thus they're evil. People who are good don't hurt me/have problems they take out on the world around them/yell at me/drink so much. This leads to a terrible chain of events. First, they're unable to process the world

Comments

I glad I stopped smoking cigarettes

[musicman]

Good post, I like your approach on this a lot. Many years ago, when I still smoked cigarettes and my son was young, I became keenly aware that all the anti-smoking media had been turned into the image of a villain and bad guy in children's programming on TV - only the bad guys smoked cigarettes. In fact, if you saw smoking represented at all, it was as something only the evil people did. My son's questions, and our discussions about the subject were enlightening to me - even though my son knew that I was not evil or a bad man, he was confused that I would do something that only bad men do.

[khall]

This is a really interesting twist/insight. I like it.

K.

[san_simeon_girl]

I've always tried to teach my kids that people ar e multilayered and complex with sometimes confusin motivations they themselves often don't understand...

[only_kiara]

Yes!! People are multi-layered and complex with sometimes confusing motivations that they, themselves, don't often understand.

I need to write that down in the "advicey" part of my brain. It sums it up quite nicely and is a wonderful jumping off point -- for both kiddos and adults.

[only_kiara]

*Like*

[lispank]

Good post! Your right just because someone does something wrong to you does not mean they are evil but there are bad and evil people out there no matter there reason for doing some things doesn't make it ok. At some point in our lives we have to take responsibility for the things we do, it is not someone else's fault that we do them.

[khall]

       I don't think there are evil people out there. There are sick people, there are selfish people, there are damaged people. But...evil is Judeo-Christian anthromorphism of the universe. It doesn't work like that. Yes, people definitely need to take responsibility for their actions. But...any of us will murder, given the right situation and pressure. We'll all snap. Any of us would rape. Given the right twisting. These are people things. Not good or evil things. The way you can tell is...we self-justify. No matter how horrible of a person that person is...they've written their story so that they're the hero, the good guy. Which is another facet of this issue that clouds our mind and prejudices us. If I'm good, and you oppose me, you must be bad. If I'm good, what i do must be good, even if it feels or looks bad...I'll twist my story so that I can self-justify. Because? I've been taught that being good is the only thing that matter. So I must be good. Even if I'm not really

[khall]

       To put it another way...your high school boyfriend didn't dump you for the cheerleader because he was an evil, selfish bastard. He did it because he was haunted and needy and...a victim. It was all about him and in his head and...no matter how horrible the break up is...it was almost completely never about you. It was someone seeking to fill a hole they needed filled to feel complete and...right as a person. No matter how clumsy or brutal or cruel they were about doing it...you can't really, honestly begrudge them that.

K.

[quetz]

But what about Red Lectroids From The Eighth Dimension?

[khall]

It was not my intention to harass you. Only blot kept talking about visits.:)

K.