250, sugar & spice -- polysaccharine

[scenotaphs]

Challenge: [250] Sugar and Spice
Title: Polysaccharine
Word Count: 440
Rating: G
Spoilers: For 358/2 Days and KH2 only. Nothing new.
Synopsis: There are no perfect little girls--at least, not in the sallow bone-grey world she knows.
Notes: Wow, I really lost the gist of it by the time I got in halfway. I wish I could say I thought about baking, but

Comments

[sour_idealist]

Oh, wow. I love your language here, all the metaphors you use and the descriptions of each girl. It's wonderful to see a fic about the girls, and more so when it's so touching and poetic. You really captured the essence of each of them. (And my mind went to "that's what little girls are made of" too, so I'm glad it wasn't just me!)

[scenotaphs]

Haha, I'm glad you thought it to be fitting, since I was worried about it being far too heavy-handed with the metaphors.

Indeed! They don't get enough of a spotlight in the fandom. Thanks for reading and commenting! ♥♥

[sour_idealist]

I am a metaphor/simile/description addict, so I may be an unreliable judge, but I certainly ate it up.

[euphonious_glow]

Love this, especially as it ties all of these girls together. The last few lines are simpler, and hit the hardest.

Oddly enough, I find this a little too wordy, a little too reaching for the hyphenated adjectives. I do like the way it's written, but in this case, I think simplicity would perhaps have been more effective. Still, overall, I enjoy the sentiment and the language ^_^

[scenotaphs]

Haha oh goddddd yeah. Simplicity would definitely be harsher and more hard-hitting, that's without a doubt. I felt, at the time of writing this, that it was a rather clumsy and unpolished piece of work, and I hope to be able to improve on it sometime x)

Thanks for reading and for the feedback!

[starflashed]

Whoa. This is like... so gorgeous. I like all the metaphors--I think they fit with the style you wrote this in. The imagery you evoke with this is just... gahhhh. :D

I'm not that great with characterizations of Xion (never actually PLAYED Days, just did a read-through of the script), but this feels right, and I like how you had her contrast herself with the other girls. Love the way you depicted them.

And Olette...! <3

[scenotaphs]

Haha, well, glad someone likes it! Personally I thought I was way too heavy-handed with the metaphors and was pretty much scattering them around with all the finesse of a hippopotamus 8C

But my angsty gripings aside. Ahem.

Thanks for the feedback! (: Yeah, it is a bit hard to get a feel of what you haven't played. I haven't played most of the games in the series, and so my grasp of the timeline and all that is definitely way out of kilter, especially with CoM. Thanks for reading and commenting!

[iki_teru]

Stolen memories, fragmented dreams and the blood of a thousand worlds.

That’s what imperfect little puppets are made of.

There is not enough yes for this drabble and the lovely, poetic way you wrote it.

[scenotaphs]

Thank you! :)

[eiremauve]

This is wonderfully written! Especially like your description of Namine as a "spun sugar-frail witch-empress".