Nighttime Bathroom Trips
Title: Nighttime Bathroom Trips
Author: keylimebliss
Pairing: Yesung/Kyuhyun
Rating: PG-15
Summary: Kyuhyun gets stuck on a camping trip. It doesn’t end up too badly.
Kyuhyun scooted closer to the bonfire, shivering as another breeze chilled his bones. He noticed Donghae sneezing next to him, and in a salubrious move (he really didn’t want a cold at the moment), shifted away from him.
“I’m cold,” Shingdong whined under his self-imposed burden of blankets and sweaters.
Kyuhyun snorted in response, “You have all that fat to keep you warm.”
The large man gasped in an appalled manner while Donghae snickered uselessly.
“I’ll have you know that all this lovely body mass is muscle. Pure, fine, strong muscle.”
“All that pure, fine, jiggly, muscle to keep you warm,” Kyuhyun amended carelessly. He looked deeper into the dark woods as Shindong shouted his defense at him. With the same careless demeanor he had adorned for this impromptu outing with his friends, he deliberated which ghost stories to share tonight and which ones to save for the next time his friends dragged him out.
He scowled as he remembered exactly why his so-called friends had dragged him out. Spending too much time attached to his computer, they claimed as if they had the right to determine how he spent his time. Come to think of it, Starlight976 had quite the arsenal of scary stories. Maybe he would consult his fellow gamer to prepare for the next time Donghae claimed that nature was calling.
Immersed in his own thoughts, Kyuhyun barely registered the crackle of trodden leaves behind him before Donghae gleefully threw himself on the younger’s back.
“Let’s tell ghost stories!” he gushed into the younger’s ear, as if he had been waiting for Kyuhyun’s mind to finish its diabolical calculations. Not that he had any this time, not really anyway. Kyuhyun nodded absentmindedly as he waved off the older man back to his seat.
He cast a glance at Shindong, who was nodding dumbly as he focused his full attention on the impressive marshmallow tower he had constructed on his skewer. Seeing no way out, Kyuhyun nodded.
“Hyung, why don’t you start?” he asked, hoping to get more brooding in. To his benefit, Donghae nodded cheerfully and immediately launched into his story.
Kyuhyun kept his attention to a cursory level, making sure to give all the proper gestures at all the appropriate times, and focused the majority of his attention to the s’mores Shindong made with the practiced ease of an expert.
Just as he reached into the box for a graham cracker, Donghae yelled, “BOO!” directly in his ear, successfully causing the younger man to yelp loudly and crush the box in his grip.
He breathed heavily, eyes wide with shock before turning back to Donghae, who was laughing hysterically on the dirt, making obscure hand movements towards Shindong, who was also laughing.
In a decidedly evil manner, he poked the elder with his heated skewer, smirking all the while.
“Hey!”Donghae yelped, scrambling to get away from his perpetrator.
“Hey yourself,” Kyuhyun said smartly, looking at his ruined graham crackers.
“I demand an explanation for your crude actions!” Donghae shrilled from his fetal position.
“Too bad,” Kyuhyun started toasting another marshmallow, frowning when it caught on fire.
“Take me to the bathroom!”
“Take Shindong. He’s big and manly and has pure, fine, strong muscles,” Kyuhyun mused. He wondered if the black sweet was still edible.
“No. I want you to go.”
“I want Shindong to go.”
“I want Kyuhyun to go too,” the eldest said as he carefully compressed his layered s’more.
Pursing his lips, Kyuhyun glanced back at Donghae. Upon seeing the gleeful and unrepentantly victorious expression on his face, he threw the marshmallow into his mouth and stood up, inconspicuously kicking Donghae in the same action.
“Let’s go,” he called over his shoulder and began walking, not bothering to wait for Donghae’s outraged complaints.
…
“Where’s the toilet?”
“You don’t need one. Just go in the bushes.”
“I want a toilet!”
“Well then just hold it until you find one!”
“But I really have to go pee!” Donghae wailed looking every bit like a petulant child.
Kyuhyun gnashed his teeth silently.
“Well than wait,” he snapped.
“But I really really really…”
Kyuhyun swerved on his heel.
“Just pick a bush and GO,” he ground out.
Donghae simply sniffed in a haughty way, “Well if his liege wishes so, I will.” Soon after he disappeared into the darkness and Kyuhyun heard the distinctive hiss of relief.
Sighing, Kyuhyun propped himself against a tree and waited for Donghae to come back. Upon the elder’s arrival, he started towards the darkness.
“Stay here. I’ll be right back,” he muttered as Donghae came into hearing distance of him. He didn’t bother waiting for a reply and quickly found a secluded corner to relieve himself in.
He had unzipped his jeans and had begun pulling the down when he heard footsteps. Snarling he whipped his head towards the sound.
“Donghae! I told you to stay…” he trailed off uncertainly.
“Sorry?” the stranger said.
The stranger had nice hair, Kyuhyun noticed. The stranger also looked very nice with that blush on his cheeks, slowly reaching his ears with his eyes downcast…oh.
Kyuhyun choked on the air, “Um. Can you go away?” He discreetly pulled his pants up a bit higher, as if damage control would do anything for him at that point.
The stranger frowned, “No, actually I’m lost. Could you help me?”
Kyuhyun sighed. He fought with his morals before they called him heartless, leaving a confused man out to be eaten by night creatures.
“Okay,” he agreed, “but let me finish my business first.”
“Oh, okay,” the stranger said.
Kyuhyun waited for the man to go away, to turn around, or to acknowledge his predicament. The stranger just smiled at him though. Suddenly, as if a light bulb went off in his head, the other man smiled.
“I’m Yesung,” the stranger greeted cheerfully.
Kyuhyun groaned, “Yes, that’s lovely. Can you please turn around?”
“Why?”
“Because I need to do my business,” the younger man gritted out.
“It’s okay. It’s not like you have anything I don’t,” Yesung replied.
Kyuhyun squawked. Yesung frowned.
“I mean, you don’t. Right?”
“Just turn around. Please.”
“Why?”
“I really need to go pee!” Kyuhyun exclaimed, deciding that he had his fair share of stupid today.
Yesung simply blinked at him blankly, causing Kyuhyun to growl in frustration before turning back to the bushes.
“Whatever,” he muttered under his breath and pushed his pants down lower to relieve himself. Sighing in content when he finished, he pulled up his jeans and zipped himself back up. Satisfied, he turned back to Yesung to meet the other man’s blank look.
“Now what?” he scowled.
“You’re very well hung,” Yesung started conversationally, as if he did not just compliment Kyuhyun’s manly bits.
Kyuhyun thought he might die from oxygen deprivation.
“And you have a nice butt,” the man continued, oblivious to Kyuhyun’s obvious discomfort.
Yesung cocked his head to the side thoughtfully, deliberating over his next words before looking back at Kyuhyun, who had yet to dignify his compliments with a response.
“Wanna have sex?” he asked bluntly, taking Kyuhyun’s arm in a soft grip.
Kyuhyun thought about how bizarre it all was, how wrong it all was, how -oh my- lovely Yesung tasted in his mouth and threw all coherent processes into the air.
Or he would’ve, only Donghae with his inopportune timing had barged into the scene crying, claiming Kyuhyun had abandoned him.
Author: keylimebliss
Pairing: Yesung/Kyuhyun
Rating: PG-15
Summary: Kyuhyun gets stuck on a camping trip. It doesn’t end up too badly.
Kyuhyun scooted closer to the bonfire, shivering as another breeze chilled his bones. He noticed Donghae sneezing next to him, and in a salubrious move (he really didn’t want a cold at the moment), shifted away from him.
“I’m cold,” Shingdong whined under his self-imposed burden of blankets and sweaters.
Kyuhyun snorted in response, “You have all that fat to keep you warm.”
The large man gasped in an appalled manner while Donghae snickered uselessly.
“I’ll have you know that all this lovely body mass is muscle. Pure, fine, strong muscle.”
“All that pure, fine, jiggly, muscle to keep you warm,” Kyuhyun amended carelessly. He looked deeper into the dark woods as Shindong shouted his defense at him. With the same careless demeanor he had adorned for this impromptu outing with his friends, he deliberated which ghost stories to share tonight and which ones to save for the next time his friends dragged him out.
He scowled as he remembered exactly why his so-called friends had dragged him out. Spending too much time attached to his computer, they claimed as if they had the right to determine how he spent his time. Come to think of it, Starlight976 had quite the arsenal of scary stories. Maybe he would consult his fellow gamer to prepare for the next time Donghae claimed that nature was calling.
Immersed in his own thoughts, Kyuhyun barely registered the crackle of trodden leaves behind him before Donghae gleefully threw himself on the younger’s back.
“Let’s tell ghost stories!” he gushed into the younger’s ear, as if he had been waiting for Kyuhyun’s mind to finish its diabolical calculations. Not that he had any this time, not really anyway. Kyuhyun nodded absentmindedly as he waved off the older man back to his seat.
He cast a glance at Shindong, who was nodding dumbly as he focused his full attention on the impressive marshmallow tower he had constructed on his skewer. Seeing no way out, Kyuhyun nodded.
“Hyung, why don’t you start?” he asked, hoping to get more brooding in. To his benefit, Donghae nodded cheerfully and immediately launched into his story.
Kyuhyun kept his attention to a cursory level, making sure to give all the proper gestures at all the appropriate times, and focused the majority of his attention to the s’mores Shindong made with the practiced ease of an expert.
Just as he reached into the box for a graham cracker, Donghae yelled, “BOO!” directly in his ear, successfully causing the younger man to yelp loudly and crush the box in his grip.
He breathed heavily, eyes wide with shock before turning back to Donghae, who was laughing hysterically on the dirt, making obscure hand movements towards Shindong, who was also laughing.
In a decidedly evil manner, he poked the elder with his heated skewer, smirking all the while.
“Hey!”Donghae yelped, scrambling to get away from his perpetrator.
“Hey yourself,” Kyuhyun said smartly, looking at his ruined graham crackers.
“I demand an explanation for your crude actions!” Donghae shrilled from his fetal position.
“Too bad,” Kyuhyun started toasting another marshmallow, frowning when it caught on fire.
“Take me to the bathroom!”
“Take Shindong. He’s big and manly and has pure, fine, strong muscles,” Kyuhyun mused. He wondered if the black sweet was still edible.
“No. I want you to go.”
“I want Shindong to go.”
“I want Kyuhyun to go too,” the eldest said as he carefully compressed his layered s’more.
Pursing his lips, Kyuhyun glanced back at Donghae. Upon seeing the gleeful and unrepentantly victorious expression on his face, he threw the marshmallow into his mouth and stood up, inconspicuously kicking Donghae in the same action.
“Let’s go,” he called over his shoulder and began walking, not bothering to wait for Donghae’s outraged complaints.
…
“Where’s the toilet?”
“You don’t need one. Just go in the bushes.”
“I want a toilet!”
“Well then just hold it until you find one!”
“But I really have to go pee!” Donghae wailed looking every bit like a petulant child.
Kyuhyun gnashed his teeth silently.
“Well than wait,” he snapped.
“But I really really really…”
Kyuhyun swerved on his heel.
“Just pick a bush and GO,” he ground out.
Donghae simply sniffed in a haughty way, “Well if his liege wishes so, I will.” Soon after he disappeared into the darkness and Kyuhyun heard the distinctive hiss of relief.
Sighing, Kyuhyun propped himself against a tree and waited for Donghae to come back. Upon the elder’s arrival, he started towards the darkness.
“Stay here. I’ll be right back,” he muttered as Donghae came into hearing distance of him. He didn’t bother waiting for a reply and quickly found a secluded corner to relieve himself in.
He had unzipped his jeans and had begun pulling the down when he heard footsteps. Snarling he whipped his head towards the sound.
“Donghae! I told you to stay…” he trailed off uncertainly.
“Sorry?” the stranger said.
The stranger had nice hair, Kyuhyun noticed. The stranger also looked very nice with that blush on his cheeks, slowly reaching his ears with his eyes downcast…oh.
Kyuhyun choked on the air, “Um. Can you go away?” He discreetly pulled his pants up a bit higher, as if damage control would do anything for him at that point.
The stranger frowned, “No, actually I’m lost. Could you help me?”
Kyuhyun sighed. He fought with his morals before they called him heartless, leaving a confused man out to be eaten by night creatures.
“Okay,” he agreed, “but let me finish my business first.”
“Oh, okay,” the stranger said.
Kyuhyun waited for the man to go away, to turn around, or to acknowledge his predicament. The stranger just smiled at him though. Suddenly, as if a light bulb went off in his head, the other man smiled.
“I’m Yesung,” the stranger greeted cheerfully.
Kyuhyun groaned, “Yes, that’s lovely. Can you please turn around?”
“Why?”
“Because I need to do my business,” the younger man gritted out.
“It’s okay. It’s not like you have anything I don’t,” Yesung replied.
Kyuhyun squawked. Yesung frowned.
“I mean, you don’t. Right?”
“Just turn around. Please.”
“Why?”
“I really need to go pee!” Kyuhyun exclaimed, deciding that he had his fair share of stupid today.
Yesung simply blinked at him blankly, causing Kyuhyun to growl in frustration before turning back to the bushes.
“Whatever,” he muttered under his breath and pushed his pants down lower to relieve himself. Sighing in content when he finished, he pulled up his jeans and zipped himself back up. Satisfied, he turned back to Yesung to meet the other man’s blank look.
“Now what?” he scowled.
“You’re very well hung,” Yesung started conversationally, as if he did not just compliment Kyuhyun’s manly bits.
Kyuhyun thought he might die from oxygen deprivation.
“And you have a nice butt,” the man continued, oblivious to Kyuhyun’s obvious discomfort.
Yesung cocked his head to the side thoughtfully, deliberating over his next words before looking back at Kyuhyun, who had yet to dignify his compliments with a response.
“Wanna have sex?” he asked bluntly, taking Kyuhyun’s arm in a soft grip.
Kyuhyun thought about how bizarre it all was, how wrong it all was, how -oh my- lovely Yesung tasted in his mouth and threw all coherent processes into the air.
Or he would’ve, only Donghae with his inopportune timing had barged into the scene crying, claiming Kyuhyun had abandoned him.