For what it's worth, I think it is incredibly hard to live with anyone (family included) after leaving home that first initial time around 18. It isn't that there's something wrong with you in terms of you finding fault with everyone, it's that you are just choosing to embrace the little things that are surely true. It is nothing to criticize yourself over, it is simply something that needs a perspective change (accepting that people are, as a rule, a pain and that we have to adapt). As for feeling the need for approval, I am completely and totally with you on that one. I'm the same way and have found it to be nothing but bad mojo. There comes a point where you just have to live for yourself and not worry about that stuff, but believe you me, I am all too aware how that is easier said than done. At the end of the day though, which is truly more important between your quality of daily living and your daily happiness versus knowing that you're not rocking the boat?
I can relate heavily to the extreme rage. One day I was driving down the road to school and parked at one intersection waiting for the light to change was a blond woman behind the wheel of a red convertible.
And then suddenly I became totally and inexplicably FURIOUS. I actually felt the urge to roll down the window and scream "YEAH, I BET YOUR BOYFRIEND REALLY RESPECTS YOU AS A WOMAN!!" and then turn the overdrive off and zoom away with squealing tires.
No clue where the impulse came from. Other than the shock of seeing a cliche sitting behind the wheel of another cliche.
I don't think you're alone in seeking approval. I've heard lots of folks say they don't care, but if they really didn't want to impress people why would they be going on and on about how they're a rebel and they don't need external validation?
Come back from Japan soon, man. If I'm fortunate enough to get kicked out of my house at the same time we can be roommates, until you get sick of me.
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And hey, it can only get better!
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And then suddenly I became totally and inexplicably FURIOUS. I actually felt the urge to roll down the window and scream "YEAH, I BET YOUR BOYFRIEND REALLY RESPECTS YOU AS A WOMAN!!" and then turn the overdrive off and zoom away with squealing tires.
No clue where the impulse came from. Other than the shock of seeing a cliche sitting behind the wheel of another cliche.
I don't think you're alone in seeking approval. I've heard lots of folks say they don't care, but if they really didn't want to impress people why would they be going on and on about how they're a rebel and they don't need external validation?
Come back from Japan soon, man. If I'm fortunate enough to get kicked out of my house at the same time we can be roommates, until you get sick of me.
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