Comments | keppiehed: Brigit's Flame, January week #2, JFF

keppiehed

Brigit's Flame, January week #2, JFF

Jan 14, 2012 10:51

Title: What the Night Brings
Author: keppiehed
Rating: PG
Warnings: language, derogatory dialogue towards little people (I can't believe I had to write that warning)
Word Count: 1879
Prompt: “qualtagh” This word means:"the first person you meet upon stepping out the door."
A/N: Written for week #2 at brigits_flame, just for fun. This continues the linked story started ( Read more... )

language, prompt: qualtagh, just for fun, entry: brigits flame january

Comments 5

bardiphouka January 14 2012, 23:04:26 UTC

I was hoping we would be back here, and so we are. So well written, and so many questions, many of which I doubt you will answer. But then that, like this story, is so often what real life is about.

Although I do have to say,if Hector ever wants to move, there is a town I know that could use him.

keppiehed January 15 2012, 14:16:59 UTC

*smiles* You seem to think that I am purposefully cryptic, when I say that you have the most cryptic protagonist the Flame has ever seen! I'm not leaving any questions unanswered, but I am glad that you have interest; I always worry that I couldn't hold anyone's interest to the end of the paragraph, let alone into another chapter. And Hector can't go to that place. He doesn't have a lick of magic about him!

tigerlilly33 January 15 2012, 19:11:36 UTC

Keppie, I love you! You always surprise me with your amazing ability. I don't know why I should be surprised, since your writing is pretty consistently brilliant, but still. The dialogue was great in this! I felt like I was part of the conversation.

Nothing more to say really except I noticed a small typo. "Th bolts were tight. Peter grunted and kept working." You forgot the "e" in The. Besides that, pretty much flawless.

keppiehed January 16 2012, 18:44:04 UTC

Aw, you! *blushes* I felt like I was turning in a halfway decent one. I especially struggled with the ending, because it just sort of trailed off with no real point, so I was sure everyone would hate it! I'm pleased that you mentioned dialogue in particular. I worry that it seems overworked!

And thanks for the typo. I just type my stuff out first run in about 15 min, so I'm glad you caught what I missed! *goes back to fix right now!*

hbart January 23 2012, 02:37:53 UTC

"derogatory dialogue towards little people" Ha! I love the necessity for that warning. I like that you have an ongoing thing with this circus crew. We just get little glimpses here and there. Not too much of any one person. Just enough to pique curiosity. And look at you all solenoid valves and pneumatic systems. You're a regular handyman. Woman. Whatever.