Passive Aggressiveness and...

[kenshusei]

A mutual friend introduced me to a man in his late twenties. He stood tall, probably 6'2". I extended my hand to shake his. He grabbed my fingers, squeezed hard, and pumped rigorously. It hurt. He kept at it for maybe a second longer than the two or three most American's allot to hand-shaking. He leaned in and smiled at me, a curved showing of

Comments

[fatfred]

Bravo.

Add: Can't even control our hands?

[kenshusei]

That would have made it demeaning. If I'd said that, it would have flipped it from "Don't fuck with me" to "I want to screw with you just as much."

I just wanted to get things to what I'd call "zero balance".

[fatfred]

Understood.

[marjai]

Ah. You are wiser than I. My response would have been "Overcompensating?" but I also probably wouldn't have gotten the crush.
I grok the urge, although for me, it's a verbal attack, since scathing wit is my forte.
Well done, though.

[teribeth]

Well done.

As a girl I generally don't get this trick pulled on me but I do know I've surprised people with my firm handshake. I try to be aware and gauge the pressure (old ladies get very little pressure, the good ole boys get as much as they give). It's interesting because it balances out the cute-n-harmless look I have upon being introduced. Oh, also if I'm employing the Power of Boobs I tend to go lighter.

By the by, I know you're busy with exams but M said you had your prom at an Aquarium. Mind hopping online and sharing when you get a chance? We're considering using that space and it's the only one we haven't looked at yet.

[kenshusei]

Oh, I like firm handshakes. Same idea as emphatic hugs. But firm, in my opinion, means enough to let me know you don't mind touching me.

The "finger trick" is different.

The two feel markedly different.

I've had a couple strong mo'fos hurt me unwittingly hurt me with their grips, but that, too, is quiet easy to spot.

[kenshusei]

And I don't mind the strong mo'fos. They're just enthusiastic. It's like a Big Josh hug... the pain can be pleasant, because it's borne out of love.

[marjai]

We still haven't completely gotten past the fairer sex bit. Being petite, I tend to be aggressive in my handshake - in professional situations, I got for that firm handshake just to push that professional aspect.

Then again, could be that *I'm* overcompensating.

And on the griping hand, it could also be a fair warning...

[kittengrin]

Like others have said, I typically don't get the too-firm handshake, most likely because I'm a girl. What I DO get often is "Oh wow, you have a firm handshake for a girl." It's a little annoying, but I guess the majority of women have weak handshakes. Weak handshakes kind of upset me for some reason, though.

[forestgrye]

I've got a firm handshake, mostly cause I've learned to give as good as I get and that it's good to show that confidence even if your not necceicerily feeling it....what wiggs me out though is when I shake hands with another girl and they're all limp-wristed, tenetive, feeling like they dont want to touch you. It's....it's just wiggy. I've had confidence issues in my time but at least I don't cringe away from handshakes, having someone cring away from a handshake with me just leave a very bad impression and makes me kinda uncomfortable. it's almost passive-agressive in and of itself cause it leaves ME feeling wierd as apposed to just saying something abou the other person. and what's REALLY anoying is when guys to it, cause then their either obviously trying to patronize me...or their doing the same weak handshake passive agressive thing girls do which is even more wierd comming from them.