Wow, nasty! Poor Hisagi-fukitaicho suffers priapism, like in those Viagra conditions: "Should you experience an erection for 4 hours or more, please seek medical attention..." You had some lovely bits of language here and there, mostly expressing how Shuuhei vocalized throughout. I saw maybe 2 cases of a word being used two sentences in a row, but it was extremely clean other than that. Well done!
Ah right could you point those instancies out to me so I could take a look? I know using the same word twice in a setence is usually quite jarring but I never thought about 2 sentences in a row. Not promising I'll change them but I'd still like to take a look :3
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You had some lovely bits of language here and there, mostly expressing how Shuuhei vocalized throughout. I saw maybe 2 cases of a word being used two sentences in a row, but it was extremely clean other than that. Well done!
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Ah right could you point those instancies out to me so I could take a look? I know using the same word twice in a setence is usually quite jarring but I never thought about 2 sentences in a row. Not promising I'll change them but I'd still like to take a look :3
Thank you ♥
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