Scar Tissue (Part Two) -- Chapter 24
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Scar Tissue (Part Two)
Chapter 24
Authors: kennedysbitch & livelovelearneg
Beta'd by englishstrawbie
Rating: NC-17 [Depictions of violence, PTSD, Language, Sexual Content]
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer
Scar Tissue [masterpost]
Summary: When Arizona Robbins’ brother dies in Iraq, her life takes off in a completely different direction. Now a highly-rated trauma surgeon with the United States Marine Corps, she spends the three years following his death serving their country overseas - until an insurgent attack leaves her with debilitating injuries. Traveling to Seattle at her father’s request, she falls under the care of orthopedic surgeon Dr. Calliope Torres. Damaged emotionally and physically, Arizona tries to start the healing process with the help of a headstrong woman she never saw coming.
Part Two: Now free from the confines of a hospital bed for the first time
in almost five months, Arizona begins her physical and emotional recovery while
navigating a budding yet rocky relationship with Callie Torres.
Warnings: Depictions of violence, PTSD, Language, Sexual Content
Trailer:
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June 11th, 2009
Callie awoke to find herself pressed against Arizona’s back, one arm draped across her waist while the other tucked itself awkwardly beneath their pillow. Raindrops continued to pelt the window outside as she extracted her elbow and winced at the numbness in the joint.
Carpal tunnel syndrome aside, she was feeling pretty freaking fantastic right now.
The room was significantly lighter than it had been around sunrise, so she assumed they had been sleeping for a few hours. Arizona showed no signs of awakening yet, so Callie sank deeper into the pillows, burying her nose in the back of Arizona’s neck and smiling to herself.
As far as post-coital bliss went, this definitely ranked at the top of her list. She felt like a giddy teenager. Sure, they had slept in the same bed before, but having a naked Arizona in her arms brought things to a whole new level of amazing. As far as she was concerned, the only ‘rule’ they should be abiding by from here on out was ‘clothing optional’.
Happy thoughts like that kept Callie occupied while she dozed, waiting patiently for the other woman to stir. A short time later, she felt a shift on the mattress and instinctively nuzzled Arizona’s bare shoulder.
“Morning,” she muttered through a yawn, squeezing the blonde’s waist. Met with silence, she couldn’t help but feel extremely pleased with herself for wearing Arizona out. For someone with a disabling leg injury, she could be surprisingly spry when she wanted to be.
It was almost a full minute before Callie realized that her girlfriend’s breathing had become erratic and that the soft groan she uttered was from a state of unconsciousness. Frowning, she pushed herself onto an elbow and peered over Arizona’s shoulder. The realization that she might be in some distress caused Callie’s stomach to plummet - neither of them wanted to relive the post-op incident or what had happened at the pier.
“Sweetie, wake up,” she coaxed in a soothing voice, brushing a lock of hair away from her partner’s eyes. “You’re dreaming.”
Arizona was starting to curl in on herself, letting out an audible gasp and twitching in Callie’s arms. She mumbled something incoherent and turned her face into the pillow. The muscles in her bad leg went bowstring tight and Callie could feel them straining beneath the covers, raising concerns about re-inflammation in the orthopedic surgeon’s mind.
With a lump in her throat, she gave Arizona’s shoulder a gentle shake, not wanting to startle her too badly. Scaring the shit out of someone in the middle of a nightmare seemed counter-productive. “Wake up, baby. It’s just a dream.”
It took a couple of shakes before Arizona’s eyes finally popped open. She stiffened and glanced around, her heart jack-hammering with residual stress. As soon as Callie tried to tighten the hold around her waist, she automatically withdrew from it.
Callie stilled as Arizona sat up and studied her surroundings through bloodshot eyes, clutching one of the bed sheets to her chest. “It’s okay, it’s just me,” she said softly. “You were dreaming again.”
Arizona shot her a confused look, recognizing the concern etched deeply into her features. As the remnants of the nightmare began to dissipate, she felt a wave of shame come crashing down in its place. Of all the nights for her mind to play tricks on her, she was distraught that it had to be her first time with Callie.
Callie didn’t know how to take it when Arizona’s jaw tightened and she pulled away completely. She watched with a heavy heart as her girlfriend scooted to the opposite side of the bed and swung her legs over the edge, making sure the sheet was tucked tightly around her exposed body. It was really hard not to take it personally when Callie had been so sure that they had moved past this stage.
“Are you okay?” she asked tentatively, almost afraid to speak.
“I’m fine,” Arizona snapped, immediately regretting her harsh tone. She closed her eyes and released a small breath. “I just…I need a minute.”
“Okay.” Callie wet her lips and waited, feeling more nervous than she had the night before. She fiddled with the pillowcase as an awkward silence settled between them.
Arizona’s right leg gave a sharp twinge and she hissed in discomfort, leaning forward to dig her fingers into her kneecap.
Concerned, Callie shifted closer. “Is it swelling again? Let me see.”
Arizona jumped when she felt a hand on her back. “No, no, it’s - it’s nothing, I’m fine.”
Exasperated, Callie gently grasped her shoulder in an attempt to turn her around. “Arizona, would you just let me-”
“I said I’m fine,” Arizona cut in, jerking away once more. “Just…go back to sleep or something.” It was a weak argument and she knew it, but every time she felt Callie’s hand on her skin, it frayed her nerves.
The outright dismissal stung. Callie retracted, combing her fingers through her hair, her shoulders slumping in defeat. Not knowing what else to do, she moved away and stood up.
It took Callie climbing out of bed and reaching for her clothes to snap Arizona out of it. “Where are you going?” she asked warily, peering over her shoulder. She subconsciously held the cotton sheet tighter to her chest.
Callie fluffed out her t-shirt before hesitating. “I figured you wanted a moment alone,” she said carefully.
Disappointed in her own actions, Arizona slowly moved back into the centre of the bed, some of her defensiveness fading away. “Don’t go, I-I’m sorry. I’m good now, I swear. Please don’t leave.”
It was confusing to be told off one second and pulled back in the next, but it made Callie reflect on Arizona’s previous description of her bad nights. No matter what her own feelings were, she was mindful of how vivid and jarring episodes of PTSD could be, so she decided to cut her girlfriend some slack.
After a moment, she sat heavily on the edge of the mattress, meeting Arizona’s gaze across the short distance between them. Her heart ached at the wariness in the solemn blue eyes staring back at her. Arizona actually seemed to be a little scared of her right now, which was so completely different from the trust that had been there when they made love only hours before.
“Did this morning mean anything to you?” Callie whispered.
“What?” Arizona looked shocked, furrowing her brow. “Of course it-”
“It did to me, too,” Callie continued. She wasn’t trying to be a jerk, she just didn’t want them to take a step backward. “We shared this huge thing, but your first instinct is still to shut me out, like nothing’s changed. Only everything has. At least, it has for me.”
Arizona dipped her head to gather her thoughts. “I know,” she said quietly. “And of course it meant just as much to me. It meant everything to me.” She adjusted her grip on the sheet. “I’m sorry. I was…startled. I didn’t mean to get upset with you.”
Her sincerity made Callie feel bad about being so pushy. The last thing she wanted to do was to bully Arizona into feeling like crap. “I’m sorry too. I was just worried.” She paused. “You were having another nightmare, weren’t you?”
Arizona licked her lips and nodded slowly. “Yeah. I don’t really remember the details. I think you woke me up before I got in too deep.” Her eyes flickered up and she smiled shyly. “So…thanks.”
Callie returned the gesture, reaching out to clasp the limp hand resting in Arizona’s lap. “I don’t want to make things worse for you by being in your face. Can you tell me what I should or shouldn’t do so I’ll know for next time?”
“Next time?” Arizona echoed, lacing their fingers together. “You mean you actually want a repeat performance of the morning grizzly bear from hell?”
Even though she was cracking a joke, Callie’s shoulders drooped. By now she could spot the defence mechanism from a mile away.
“You still don’t get it, do you?” she said softly. “Nothing you ever say or do will scare me away. No matter how cranky you are in the morning, I’ll still be here.” She flashed her a playful smile, hoping to draw something other than gloom out into the open.
Arizona still seemed pretty upset, however. She blushed and abruptly looked away under the intensity of Callie’s gaze. “I just wish I could feel normal again,” she whispered. “I don’t want to keep ruining the good moments.”
“Nothing could ruin the good moments,” Callie said firmly. “Especially not the ones we just finished creating.” She waited until Arizona mustered up a tiny smile. “But you have to stop hiding from me when things get hard for you. Whether it’s the nightmares or even triggers like last night.”
Arizona failed to hide a grimace and darted her eyes away again. She was extremely uncomfortable talking about it but she knew this was something she had to get over. It wasn’t in her nature to show weakness, not even to someone she trusted as much as she did Callie. She had her dad to thank for that psychological mess.
“It feels like that’s all I do these days - fall apart and you have to pick up the pieces. It sucks.”
Callie sighed, tucking a wisp of blonde hair behind Arizona’s left ear. “It’s not like that. You can be yourself in front of me, even on the bad days.”
“But I’m not, though, I’m not myself,” Arizona shot back, exasperated and raising her voice. Her eyes bore desperately into Callie’s for the first time since the conversation had started, pleading with her to understand. Every frustration she had been harbouring for the last six months came bubbling to the surface and it all came tumbling out before she could stop it.
“Last night - I hated that you saw me like that again, crumpled into a ball on the floor like some pathetic loser who can’t get the Boogieman out of her head,” she said in a wavering voice. “I-I’m not this, this…person who gets panic attacks from loud noises, or who has nightmares and hallucinations that make it hard to sleep with the lights off. I’m not someone who freaks out because of a stupid video game that I’ve played a dozen times before. I’m not me anymore, and you have no idea how much it kills me that this is the only person you will ever get to see.”
Callie’s heart broke as tears of frustration welled up in Arizona’s eyes, a few of them escaping down her cheeks. She wanted nothing more than to reach out to her but Arizona continued on before she could respond.
“I am not weak,” Arizona said hoarsely. “I am strong. I used to be strong. I used to be the one who would take care of you; who would protect you from the nightmares a-and the bad days. I was someone who would take you out for an amazing night on the town before bringing you home and making love to you - without being afraid to take my stupid clothes off.” A small sob managed to escape and she had to bite down on her lip to stop another one from following.
A hard lump formed in Callie’s throat and she pulled her legs onto the bed again, moving to Arizona’s side and cradling her cheek in her palm. “Oh, honey…”
Despite the tears, Arizona looked almost angry when she focused on Callie again. “I was the kind of person who would stand up for the people I love instead of hurting them this way. I was the kind of person you deserve to be with and I’m not anymore. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do - this isn’t me, Callie, don’t you get it? I’m not me.”
There was a tiny part of Callie’s heart that jump-started at Arizona’s candid use of the ‘L’ word, but now wasn’t the time to interrupt with further inquiries. Instead she took Arizona’s face between her hands and pulled her into a gentle kiss, wanting to sooth the obvious distress rolling off of her in waves. She could feel the warmth of fresh tears pool against her thumbs and slowly drizzle down her wrist.
“Of course you are,” she whispered when their lips finally parted. “You are you, even if you’re feeling a little bit lost right now. That doesn’t make you any less of the person you were before.”
Arizona let out an awkward hiccup-sob and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. “I’m really not helping your case right now.”
That made Callie smile as she swiped her thumbs across tear-stained cheeks. “Nothing about the woman I met four months ago was weak, Arizona. Nothing. The same goes for right now. You’re still the strongest person that I’ve ever known. I don’t know how many times I can keep telling you that, but I will if I have to.”
Arizona blinked her eyes open and pursed her lips, fixing Callie with a disbelieving look.
“Hey, you’ve had a lot of bad shit happen to you in the last few years, and yet you’re here with me, right now, because you refused to give up fighting,” Callie argued. “Just because some days are harder than others doesn’t mean you’re any less Arizona Robbins. It’ll get better, I promise. You’ll heal.”
Arizona heaved a weary sigh, rolling her eyes at herself. “Sometimes I wonder. It really doesn’t feel that way.”
“One day at a time.” Callie kissed her again, softer this time. Arizona was still fairly tense as Callie moved her lips along the side of her jaw, trailing a short path up to her ear. “No matter how hard it gets, I’ll be there with you every step of the way. Got it?”
In spite of her natural defensiveness, Arizona already felt closer to Callie than she ever thought possible. The idea of being all in was completely terrifying, especially because she felt so fractured on the inside, and especially in moments like these. But if there was one person she could trust to not judge her for her damages, it was Callie. Cementing their physical relationship had only strengthened the connection she had felt from early on. There wasn’t a single soul on earth she could ever imagine opening up to the way they had only hours before. That had been the biggest step she had taken in her recovery to date, and she refused to let a minor setback destroy all of the hard work they had done to get there.
If Callie believed in her, wholeheartedly and despite the broken pieces she was still mending, then they could get through it together.
When the silence stretched on, Callie started to get worried. “Arizona?” she asked, pulling back to fix her with a worried frown.
Even though her eyes were still red, Arizona’s smile was much lighter this time as she leaned forward and covered Callie’s mouth with her own. It was like a sudden weight had been lifted from her shoulders - now Callie had literally seen everything there was to see; there were no more hidden surprises lurking in the shadows. As far as Arizona could tell, the only way to go from here was up.
Feeling as though they had averted a potentially day-breaking disaster, Callie broke the kiss and rubbed her nose across Arizona’s. “Do you want me to wake you up when you’re dreaming?”
Arizona slid a hand along the curve of her girlfriend’s hip, enjoying the bare skin beneath her fingertips. “Yeah. If it gets bad enough that you’re noticing, then…yeah.”
“Okay, I can do that.” Callie released a content sigh. “What else?”
“I don’t know,” Arizona admitted. She rested her forehead peacefully against Callie’s. “I guess we can figure it out as we go along. Maybe just...give me a minute to get my bearings straight? So I don’t wig out on you again?”
“So no touching once you’re awake?” Callie dragged the backs of her fingernails along Arizona’s ribcage, eliciting a delightful shiver.
Arizona smiled coyly. “Well, don’t run away, but yeah, I might need a second. Just let me know that you’re there and it’ll help.”
“Okay,” Callie repeated, curling an arm around the blonde’s waist. She tugged her in body closer, preparing to lie them both down. The sheet that was wedged between them proved to be a nuisance, keeping her from that wonderful skin-on-skin contact she was craving. “You’re too beautiful to cover up,” she pointed out, lifting a hand and waiting for permission.
An automatic blush flooded Arizona’s cheeks, but she bit her lip and nodded, letting Callie pull the material away. Callie untangled the blankets before throwing the set back over top of them both for warmth.
Arizona settled on her back and let Callie ease down on top of her. She still felt kind of exposed, but she was positive that she would get over the fear in no time. It was pretty hard to feel anything other than blissful as they lay tangled together beneath the covers - especially because Callie was just as naked as she was.
Grinning, Callie dipped down to steal a playful kiss, sensing a much lighter mood now. “Mm, this is better,” she murmured, allowing her mouth to wander down Arizona’s throat.
Arizona had closed her eyes and was relaxing into the sensation when she heard Callie chuckle against her skin. “What’s so funny?”
Callie lifted her head wearing an enormously smug grin. “I gave you a hickey.”
“Really?” Arizona cocked an eyebrow, fighting back a smile. “Wow. You’re lucky I don’t have a job to go to, Torres.”
“Scarves,” Callie pointed out, nibbling at Arizona’s bottom lip before shifting back to her neck. “Here, let me try for another.”
“No!” Arizona laughed and playfully pushed her away. “Down, girl.”
Pouting, Callie eased herself between Arizona’s legs, dropping a hand under the covers to run it along her side. “C’mon, where’s your sense of adventure?”
Arizona pretended to look thoughtful as she rubbed her left thigh sensually along the brunette’s hip. “Oh, I definitely have one. It’s just got a slightly...different idea of how to spend the next twenty minutes.”
“Oh?” Callie feigned curiosity as her lips hovered just out of reach. “Twenty minutes? Is that a challenge?”
Grinning, Arizona slid a hand around the back of Callie’s neck and put an end to anymore discussion.
***
June 22nd, 2009
Things were noticeably different between them after that first night. Callie saw a new side to Arizona - it was subtle and seemingly unconscious, but she was more open with her affection and less likely to withdraw when things got tough. Their physical affection for one another hadn’t exactly been lacking before they slept together, but Callie quickly realized that Arizona had been holding back on some level. Now there was a spark in her eyes and an ease to her actions that made her seem that much happier with the way things were going. She was also more playful and teasing, which Callie could not emphasize enough how much she loved.
Three straight nights of sharing a bed - among other things - had Callie on cloud nine. They were forced to miss the fourth when she worked the late shift and didn’t want to wake Arizona up at four in the morning. But Arizona made it clear at breakfast that it shouldn’t even be an issue - she wanted Callie in the same bed, whatever the time of day or night. End of story.
After that, they alternated rooms. There was no real rhyme or reason beyond whichever felt closer or wherever Callie found Arizona passed out when she came home. More than once she had returned from work to find the blonde sprawled out in her bedroom, the TV still on or a book resting beside her as she drooled on a pillow. It was cute.
Twice in the first week of their new arrangement, Callie awoke to find Arizona trembling next to her. In both instances she had managed to calm her down without waking her up, and dutifully stood by until she was positive that the dreams would not return. It made for some tired mornings but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Arizona didn’t seem aware that anything had happened and that’s all Callie could ask for.
It was a little over a week later that she woke up alone for the first time. Arizona was due to meet her physical therapist at a nearby swimming pool bright and early, so Callie guessed that she had left without saying goodbye. It had taken a lot of convincing to get Arizona to agree to it in the first place, but in the end she couldn’t argue that it was an excellent way to build muscle strength in her leg.
Pouting at the sudden lack of morning sex to start her day, Callie slipped out from under the covers and rooted around the dresser for some clothing. Any other day and she would have gone back to sleep for a few hours, but she could smell bacon frying in the kitchen, which meant that Cristina was trying to cook. If the whole place didn’t burn down in the process, she would steal a few scraps for herself.
It was only in the middle of brushing her teeth that she remembered Cristina was at a conference in Boston for three days. Frowning at the mirror, she quickly washed up before heading down the hall and out into the main area of the apartment.
Arizona stood at the stove, scrambling a pile of eggs, and looked over with a bright smile. “Morning, sleepyhead. I thought I was gonna have to serve you breakfast in bed again.”
Callie paused at the edge of the kitchen, furrowing her brow. “What are you doing here?” she asked curiously, a magnetic pull guiding her eyes downward. She couldn’t help but notice what her girlfriend was wearing - one of Callie’s old t-shirts from Brown University. It was big on her and fell just below the hip, barely covering her underwear. She looked incredibly sexy, but it was also a little surprising. Even though Arizona had grown more comfortable with her body in private, Callie had yet to see her strutting around the apartment without any pants on.
Not that she was complaining.
However, she was concerned about why Arizona was home instead of at the pool. “Did Jeff cancel on you at the last minute?”
Arizona paused in the midst of pushing eggs around with a spatula. She chewed on her bottom lip and debated lying. “Um…no, he didn’t. I called him.”
With her frown deepening, Callie padded across the kitchen and slid an arm around Arizona’s waist. “Is your knee swelling up again?” she asked, pressing a ‘good morning’ kiss to her temple.
Arizona let her eyes drift closed for a moment. “A little. I just wasn’t feeling up for it today.”
Pursing her lips, Callie extracted herself and leaned back against the counter, scrutinising Arizona closely.
Arizona avoided eye contact, tossing more cheese into the frying pan instead. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not a big deal; I can go next week.”
Callie remained silent. She waited until the blonde finally looked her way before raising an eyebrow.
Sighing in exasperation, Arizona rolled her eyes. “Okay fine, I didn’t want to go, okay? I chickened out.”
Callie gently plucked the spatula from her hands and poked at the eggs to make sure they were cooked, then turned off the element. “C’mere.”
Arizona pouted as Callie gathered her into her arms. “I’m sorry. I just wasn’t comfortable with the idea of wearing a bathing suit when I woke up. It’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” Callie admonished, pushing hair away from her girlfriend’s eyes. “But you have nothing to be ashamed of. You look amazing in that one-piece you bought on the weekend.”
Even thinking about wearing that thing made Arizona blush. “Yeah, when it’s just you around. I don’t want to be gawked at by a bunch of grade-schoolers or frat boys while I try not to drown.”
“You swam competitively; I doubt you’ll have too much trouble getting back into it,” Callie pointed out. “And besides, anybody staring at you will be too distracted by how hot you are to care about a few scars on your leg.”
Smiling, Arizona rested her hands on Callie’s collarbone. “Always the smooth talker, huh?”
A slow grin spread across Callie’s face. “I only speak the truth,” she teased, leaning in for a soft kiss.
Arizona sighed happily into the familiar contact, momentarily forgetting her worries. “I should have gone. I’ve just never felt so self-conscious about swimming before; it’s weird.”
“You’ll get used to it again,” Callie encouraged. “Trust me, you’ll be glad that you went. Go a few times a week and I guarantee you will see major improvements in both strength and balance. It could really kickstart you into walking without a crutch or a cane again.”
“I wish we had a pool here,” Arizona admitted. “At least then it would be a little more private.”
That sparked an idea in Callie’s mind. “I might be able to work something out,” she said slowly. “If you want to ease yourself into things, we could go somewhere with just the two of us.”
Arizona looked curious. “Where? How?”
“I have my ways,” Callie said with a secretive smile. “Don’t worry about it for now. I kind of want to focus on the fact that you’re wearing my clothes.”
Arizona glanced down at the faded black t-shirt she had on and grinned. “You noticed that, huh? Is it okay?”
“Oh, more than,” Callie murmured, ducking her head to pull Arizona into another kiss. She linked both arms around the slender woman’s waist and very casually dropped a hand to her ass.
Arizona snickered and pulled away with a raised brow. “You got laid last night and you’re already wanting more?”
Callie stared at her blankly. “I don’t understand the question.”
Laughing, Arizona wiggled out of her arms and reached for the crutch she had leaning against the fridge. “Eat your eggs first. You’ll need the energy for round two.”
“More like five,” Callie muttered under her breath, interrupting the blonde’s quest for breakfast plates by snagging her around the waist and reeling her back in.
***
June 24th, 2009
“How did you manage this?” Arizona asked, peering out the car window at the dark YMCA in front of them. “It’s already closed.”
Callie turned off the wipers and killed the engine. “Friends in high places,” she mused, receiving a curious head tilt in return. “I called the building manager and arranged for us to rent it after hours,” she clarified.
“You rented it? As in the entire pool?” Arizona’s eyes widened. “Callie, that sounds really expensive.”
“Don’t even worry about it,” Callie said with a quick wave of her hand. “If it gets you into the pool and working out that gorgeous leg I repaired, it’s more than worth it. There won’t be anyone here but us.”
Arizona wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about Callie dropping a few hundred dollars in one evening for her sake. She was so nonchalant about it that Arizona had to wonder just how much money the Torres family really had. Ultimately she could not have cared less if Callie was the Queen of Europe or the Paper Bag Princess - she had a huge heart and that was all that mattered.
“Come on.” Callie got out of the car and moved around to help Arizona. They grabbed their bags and the crutches from the back seat, then headed through the drizzling rain toward the entrance. There they were met by an employee of the complex who led them inside.
Soon enough Arizona found herself sitting in the change room, taking in the eerie silence around her. Callie had gone to finalize everything with the staff member, telling Arizona to change and be ready by the time she got back. Despite being alone, she couldn’t help but fumble nervously as she took off her clothes and exchanged them for the blue women’s Speedo she had recently purchased. It was similar to what she used to wear when she raced in high school, but the familiarity didn’t wash away her fears. Changing somewhere that wasn’t within the comfort of her own home made her feel shy and awkward.
“We’re all set,” Callie announced as she reappeared, closing the door behind her. She paused mid-step and studied her girlfriend’s physique with an appreciative eye. “Wow. You look amazing.”
Arizona blushed but shot her a thankful smile, stuffing her street clothes into a locker. “Sorry I couldn’t wear a two-piece for you. Maybe someday when we visit the beach.”
Callie could dream about that all day long but she quickly shook it off. The last thing she wanted to do was make Arizona feel uncomfortable by ogling her - even if she was very ogle-able.
As Callie unpacked her swim bag and started to change, Arizona pulled out her cellphone and spotted a text message from Teddy. “Sounds like it’s hellish at the hospital right now. Be glad you’re not on-call.”
“Big accident?” Callie asked, switching her bra for a bikini top.
“She didn’t specify,” Arizona replied, still focused on texting Teddy back. “She says to tell you ‘hi’ and not to let me drown because I can be kind of a klutz. Gee, I love my best friend.”
Callie laughed as she tossed her clothes into the locker. She grabbed two towels from her gym bag and then added it to the mix, waiting for Arizona to put her phone away before locking everything up.
Arizona caught a glimpse of Callie in her peripheral vision and immediately did a double-take. Stunned, her lips parted for a full three seconds before she managed to speak. “Whoa.”
Callie smirked as she tied her hair up in a messy ponytail. “What? I’m a Miami girl, remember? Don’t look so surprised.”
Arizona continued to gape at the gorgeous form on display, covered only by a crimson red bikini top and bottom. It was revealing without going over the top, and it accented the brunette’s natural beauty in every way imaginable. She looked flawless in it - especially her legs. Arizona definitely had a thing for her legs.
And pretty much every other part of her body.
Arizona tried not to swallow her own tongue when she answered. “Uh…y-yeah, I know, it’s just…wow. You look…wow.” Suddenly she had completely forgotten why she was supposed to be nervous in the first place.
It never failed to amuse Callie how speechless she could make the blonde just by showing a little skin. She helped her stand up and handed over one of the forearm crutches for balance on the way to the pool. “Come on. Let’s get you wet.”
Arizona nodded wordlessly. That wasn’t going to be a problem.
***
“You know, it’s hardly fair that you’re bribing me with how sexy you look. I won’t get this kind of treatment in my actual physical therapy sessions.”
“I should hope not,” Callie snickered from where she was treading water in the middle of the pool. She waited patiently as Arizona sat on the side wall. “Somebody’s gotta give you some incentive on your first time out. You’re over thinking things. Just get in and it’ll be like riding a bike.”
“I have a history of mishaps on two wheels. Remember the story I told you about falling down a hill? Not your best analogy.”
“Come on,” Callie urged, swimming closer and planting both feet on the bottom. She lifted her hands to rest them on Arizona’s lap. “I’ve got you, I promise.”
Arizona released a shaky breath, glancing around them out of habit. It was empty as could be, aside from the two of them. “Okay.” She gripped the edge of the pool and took a deep breath before easing herself into the water.
Callie immediately took hold of her waist, ensuring that it was a smooth transition. “There you go,” she said softly, giving the blonde an encouraging smile. Even when Arizona had both feet on the bottom, where the depth only came up to her chest, she held on tightly. “See? The hardest part is over.”
Arizona had to admit that it felt pretty good to be in the water again. She used to love swimming on a regular basis, even outside of competition. Wanting to immerse herself in the full experience - literally - she held her breath and dipped her head under.
Callie was grinning with pride by the time she re-emerged, causing Arizona to blush. “Stop it. I got in a pool; it’s nothing to write home about.”
“Don’t make me dunk you,” Callie shot back with a cheeky smirk. “Little things add up quickly. Now come on, follow me.”
Arizona watched her swim away before looking down nervously at her leg. Through the distortion of the water, it was almost impossible to make out the damage to her muscle or the scars on her knee. The water also made it easy for her to stand upright, something she hadn’t managed to do without support on land. It barely even hurt, provided she didn’t move around too much.
Callie tread water again while she waited for Arizona to gather herself. She watched as her girlfriend started taking small steps at first before finally going waterborne. “How does that feel?”
Arizona winced the first time she kicked her right leg and a dull ache resonated upward. She used mostly her arms to arrive at Callie’s side before doing her best to swim in place, despite still being within reach of the bottom. “It’s okay. Definitely stiff,” she replied. She was quickly becoming aware of muscles that had scarcely been used in months, just barely able to keep herself above the water line.
“If you’re feeling it, that means it’s working,” Callie said cheerfully, determined to maintain a positive attitude throughout the evening. “What do you want to do first?”
“I don’t know. You’re the orthopedic surgeon, what do you think?” Arizona winced again and dropped her left leg to the bottom, letting her right float weightlessly beside it.
“Tonight should be about having fun,” Callie suggested. “We don’t have to worry about the medical side of things just yet. Let’s get you used to the water again so the next time you’re out with Jeff, it won’t be so scary.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s the type that would just throw me into the pool if I don’t cooperate.”
“You could kick his scrawny little ass from here to Baghdad and he knows it,” Callie teased. “You’re sure he’s good with water training?”
“Yeah, he says he’ll work out a program for me once he sees what I can do,” Arizona said, flexing her leg underwater. “Which I’m assuming won’t be much at first.”
Callie squinted hard at her and suddenly threw a wall of water forward with a splash of her arm.
Arizona yelped and shied away, hit dead on by the miniature tsunami. “Callie! What the hell?”
“New teaching method,” Callie said smugly as Arizona shook water out of her eyes. “Every time you put yourself down, I either splash you or I dunk you.”
“What are you, five?”
Callie’s answer was to cup her hands together and squirt a jet of water right into her girlfriend’s face.
“Oh, two can play at this game,” Arizona challenged, taking in a deep breath before ducking under the surface.
Callie had little time to congratulate herself on goading the woman into forgetting about her worries. She felt a tug on her leg and fingers digging into her ticklish side, causing her to jump. She twisted around and her feet left the pool floor, which allowed Arizona to grab her around the waist and yank her under.
That set off a flurry of flailing limbs and playful shrieks. They acted like a couple of six-year-olds for the next ten minutes - splashing, grabbing; even an instance of elementary school hair pulling. Both were confident swimmers by nature and not afraid of accidentally drowning the other, which meant that there was some ‘accidental’ groping going on at the same time. Not a whole lot of traditional swimming techniques were used, and certainly nothing that could be considered ‘beneficial’ in the rehabilitation department.
It was the most fun Arizona had had in months.
Unfortunately, she had to cry ‘uncle’ when she surfaced a short time later, although not before leaping onto Callie’s back and throwing both arms around her neck like a clingy koala bear.
“Wait, wait, I give up,” she panted, holding on for dear life. “I need a…a second...can’t breathe...”
Callie grabbed Arizona’s forearm and debated dumping her into the water again, but instead she heeded the injured woman’s plea and dragged them both over to the side of the pool. She, too, was a little tired from their water antics. It wouldn’t hurt to take a break and make sure everything was still in order.
Arizona untangled herself and held onto the ledge, wiping hair from her eyes and breathing water from her nose. She shot Callie a silly grin, kicking her legs out to stretch some of her already sore muscles. “I see I’ve met my match. You’re part dolphin, aren’t you?”
“Yep,” Callie agreed with a triumphant smirk. At some point in the struggle her hair elastic had come out and she had to wipe away the wet strands plastered to her face. “I grew up in the waters of Florida. I wrestled alligators in my spare time. You don’t stand a chance.”
“I’m jealous of those alligators,” Arizona quipped, laughing when Callie pushed her against the pool wall and trapped her in place, one hand on either side of her body.
“You have nothing to be jealous of,” Callie husked in a low voice, leaning in and just barely brushing their lips together. She cocked her head to the side and lifted a curious eyebrow. “How’s your leg?”
Arizona swallowed thickly. “Sore, but nothing I can’t handle.”
“Let me see what I can do about that.” Without waiting for a reply, Callie plugged her nose and disappeared from sight.
Arizona jerked forward when she felt strong hands roaming up her leg, working over her sore muscles. A set of fingers wrapped around her upper thigh, giving it a firm, distinctly sexual squeeze.
“Oh, that’s cheating,” she mumbled to herself, even though Callie probably couldn’t hear her.
Underwater, Callie took her time in exploring all the way down to Arizona’s calf, doing what she could to ease some of the weary tension in the strained limb. As much as she was trying to help, she was also thoroughly enjoying the chance for an innocent bit of teasing.
When she eventually needed to breathe, she made a point of surfacing so close to Arizona that their upper bodies rubbed together in all the right places.
“Looking good down there,” she said brightly, making a show of sweeping her eyes down Arizona’s body. “Feeling good?”
“Among other things,” Arizona groaned, allowing Callie to pin her against the wall once more. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around her waist, thankful that the move was effortless in the water. Their lips meshed in a frenzy of breathless kisses and Arizona wasted no time in weaving her fingers through her girlfriend’s dark curls, tugging her harder into the embrace.
Callie released an appreciative moan, using her upper body to hold Arizona in place. Wandering hands fell beneath the water and wrapped themselves around the blonde’s quivering thighs, giving them an earnest tug forward.
The move made Arizona smile into the kiss, momentarily breaking the spell. “This isn’t very physically rehabilitative,” she murmured, gently nibbling on Callie’s bottom lip.
Callie’s amusement matched her partner’s. “Not for your leg, anyway,” she added in a husky voice, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Arizona snickered and allowed herself to be drawn into another kiss, her tongue darting out to tango with Callie’s. This probably wasn’t what the building manager had in mind when he allowed them to rent the place out, but nobody was there with them and she would be damned if she didn’t take advantage of Callie in such sexy swimwear.
“Told you this wouldn’t be so bad,” Callie mused when they pulled back after a moment, stealing soft kisses in between words.
“You did,” Arizona replied, smiling as she wove her fingers into her girlfriend’s damp hair. “I guess that makes you right. Imagine that.”
Callie scrunched her nose and nudged Arizona with her hips. “Smartass.” She gave her thighs one final squeeze before releasing them and taking a back. “Just for that, you have to swim two laps before I’ll make out with you again.”
Arizona’s jaw dropped in mock offense. “Are you bribing me again? With sex?”
Callie turned away and swam a few lengths out into the pool. She glanced over her shoulder and gave a casual shrug. “Maybe,” she said innocently, then continued on her way.
Watching Callie start a half-lap toward the shallow end, Arizona shook her head and dragged her tired self over to the far back wall. She held onto the ledge so she didn’t drown in the deeper water, though she was fairly certain that Callie wouldn’t let her go under for too long.
Planting her feet on the wall and flexing her calf muscle to test its resistance, Arizona pulled in a few deep, calming breaths, then kicked off and flipped over onto her front, swimming freestyle.
Callie made it to the opposite side of the pool and turned to watch, breaking out into a huge smile when she saw Arizona coming toward her. “That’s it! You’re doing great!”
Never in her life had Arizona felt like there was an elephant strapped to her feet, pulling her in the opposite direction, as she did right now. She had to fight hard to stay above the surface and it almost felt as though she were swimming in one spot. Coordinating her right leg to kick at the same time as her left was proving difficult, as the movements were jerky and nowhere near as smooth as they should be.
It took much longer than she wanted to get to the end of the pool where Callie was cheering her on. Her arms burned something awful and her knee was throbbing in time with her heart, but nevertheless, she broke out into a breathless smile when she finally surfaced.
“Holy crap, that was terrible,” she gasped, easily laughing it off as she gripped the wall and pushed hair out of her eyes.
“Don’t make me dunk you again,” Callie scolded. She guided Arizona’s chin in her direction and planted a congratulatory kiss on her cheek. “You did great. Your technique is a thousand times better than mine.”
As sweet as the words were, Arizona rolled her eyes in a playful manner. “Thanks. So, can we make out now?”
“You’ve got one more lap to do,” Callie pointed out, pushing away from the wall and swimming backwards, keeping an eye on her. “C’mon, one more time and then I’ll let you rest.”
Arizona groaned and faced the wall again, dropping her forehead against the wet tile. “I’m exhausted,” she whined loudly. Her heart was still returning to a normal rhythm and she was pretty sure she would pass out midway through another lap. Her old swim coach would have had a few choice words for such a lazy, poor attitude, but right now she could not have cared less.
While she was still in the process of gathering herself for another attempt, Arizona felt something wet smack her on the back of the head. Thinking that Callie had thrown a pool toy, she wrinkled her nose and pulled it over her shoulder.
It was Callie’s bikini top.
She whirled around but Callie was already swimming away as fast as she could, splashing too much water for Arizona to catch a glimpse.
“Callie Torres, you are going to be the death of me,” she groaned to herself, fighting back a huge grin that was threatening to break free.
Twisting around, she pushed off of the wall and surged forward in hot pursuit.
---
Scar Tissue (Part Two)
Chapter 24
Authors: kennedysbitch & livelovelearneg
Beta'd by englishstrawbie
Rating: NC-17 [Depictions of violence, PTSD, Language, Sexual Content]
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer
Scar Tissue [masterpost]
Summary: When Arizona Robbins’ brother dies in Iraq, her life takes off in a completely different direction. Now a highly-rated trauma surgeon with the United States Marine Corps, she spends the three years following his death serving their country overseas - until an insurgent attack leaves her with debilitating injuries. Traveling to Seattle at her father’s request, she falls under the care of orthopedic surgeon Dr. Calliope Torres. Damaged emotionally and physically, Arizona tries to start the healing process with the help of a headstrong woman she never saw coming.
Part Two: Now free from the confines of a hospital bed for the first time
in almost five months, Arizona begins her physical and emotional recovery while
navigating a budding yet rocky relationship with Callie Torres.
Warnings: Depictions of violence, PTSD, Language, Sexual Content
Trailer:
Click to view---
June 11th, 2009
Callie awoke to find herself pressed against Arizona’s back, one arm draped across her waist while the other tucked itself awkwardly beneath their pillow. Raindrops continued to pelt the window outside as she extracted her elbow and winced at the numbness in the joint.
Carpal tunnel syndrome aside, she was feeling pretty freaking fantastic right now.
The room was significantly lighter than it had been around sunrise, so she assumed they had been sleeping for a few hours. Arizona showed no signs of awakening yet, so Callie sank deeper into the pillows, burying her nose in the back of Arizona’s neck and smiling to herself.
As far as post-coital bliss went, this definitely ranked at the top of her list. She felt like a giddy teenager. Sure, they had slept in the same bed before, but having a naked Arizona in her arms brought things to a whole new level of amazing. As far as she was concerned, the only ‘rule’ they should be abiding by from here on out was ‘clothing optional’.
Happy thoughts like that kept Callie occupied while she dozed, waiting patiently for the other woman to stir. A short time later, she felt a shift on the mattress and instinctively nuzzled Arizona’s bare shoulder.
“Morning,” she muttered through a yawn, squeezing the blonde’s waist. Met with silence, she couldn’t help but feel extremely pleased with herself for wearing Arizona out. For someone with a disabling leg injury, she could be surprisingly spry when she wanted to be.
It was almost a full minute before Callie realized that her girlfriend’s breathing had become erratic and that the soft groan she uttered was from a state of unconsciousness. Frowning, she pushed herself onto an elbow and peered over Arizona’s shoulder. The realization that she might be in some distress caused Callie’s stomach to plummet - neither of them wanted to relive the post-op incident or what had happened at the pier.
“Sweetie, wake up,” she coaxed in a soothing voice, brushing a lock of hair away from her partner’s eyes. “You’re dreaming.”
Arizona was starting to curl in on herself, letting out an audible gasp and twitching in Callie’s arms. She mumbled something incoherent and turned her face into the pillow. The muscles in her bad leg went bowstring tight and Callie could feel them straining beneath the covers, raising concerns about re-inflammation in the orthopedic surgeon’s mind.
With a lump in her throat, she gave Arizona’s shoulder a gentle shake, not wanting to startle her too badly. Scaring the shit out of someone in the middle of a nightmare seemed counter-productive. “Wake up, baby. It’s just a dream.”
It took a couple of shakes before Arizona’s eyes finally popped open. She stiffened and glanced around, her heart jack-hammering with residual stress. As soon as Callie tried to tighten the hold around her waist, she automatically withdrew from it.
Callie stilled as Arizona sat up and studied her surroundings through bloodshot eyes, clutching one of the bed sheets to her chest. “It’s okay, it’s just me,” she said softly. “You were dreaming again.”
Arizona shot her a confused look, recognizing the concern etched deeply into her features. As the remnants of the nightmare began to dissipate, she felt a wave of shame come crashing down in its place. Of all the nights for her mind to play tricks on her, she was distraught that it had to be her first time with Callie.
Callie didn’t know how to take it when Arizona’s jaw tightened and she pulled away completely. She watched with a heavy heart as her girlfriend scooted to the opposite side of the bed and swung her legs over the edge, making sure the sheet was tucked tightly around her exposed body. It was really hard not to take it personally when Callie had been so sure that they had moved past this stage.
“Are you okay?” she asked tentatively, almost afraid to speak.
“I’m fine,” Arizona snapped, immediately regretting her harsh tone. She closed her eyes and released a small breath. “I just…I need a minute.”
“Okay.” Callie wet her lips and waited, feeling more nervous than she had the night before. She fiddled with the pillowcase as an awkward silence settled between them.
Arizona’s right leg gave a sharp twinge and she hissed in discomfort, leaning forward to dig her fingers into her kneecap.
Concerned, Callie shifted closer. “Is it swelling again? Let me see.”
Arizona jumped when she felt a hand on her back. “No, no, it’s - it’s nothing, I’m fine.”
Exasperated, Callie gently grasped her shoulder in an attempt to turn her around. “Arizona, would you just let me-”
“I said I’m fine,” Arizona cut in, jerking away once more. “Just…go back to sleep or something.” It was a weak argument and she knew it, but every time she felt Callie’s hand on her skin, it frayed her nerves.
The outright dismissal stung. Callie retracted, combing her fingers through her hair, her shoulders slumping in defeat. Not knowing what else to do, she moved away and stood up.
It took Callie climbing out of bed and reaching for her clothes to snap Arizona out of it. “Where are you going?” she asked warily, peering over her shoulder. She subconsciously held the cotton sheet tighter to her chest.
Callie fluffed out her t-shirt before hesitating. “I figured you wanted a moment alone,” she said carefully.
Disappointed in her own actions, Arizona slowly moved back into the centre of the bed, some of her defensiveness fading away. “Don’t go, I-I’m sorry. I’m good now, I swear. Please don’t leave.”
It was confusing to be told off one second and pulled back in the next, but it made Callie reflect on Arizona’s previous description of her bad nights. No matter what her own feelings were, she was mindful of how vivid and jarring episodes of PTSD could be, so she decided to cut her girlfriend some slack.
After a moment, she sat heavily on the edge of the mattress, meeting Arizona’s gaze across the short distance between them. Her heart ached at the wariness in the solemn blue eyes staring back at her. Arizona actually seemed to be a little scared of her right now, which was so completely different from the trust that had been there when they made love only hours before.
“Did this morning mean anything to you?” Callie whispered.
“What?” Arizona looked shocked, furrowing her brow. “Of course it-”
“It did to me, too,” Callie continued. She wasn’t trying to be a jerk, she just didn’t want them to take a step backward. “We shared this huge thing, but your first instinct is still to shut me out, like nothing’s changed. Only everything has. At least, it has for me.”
Arizona dipped her head to gather her thoughts. “I know,” she said quietly. “And of course it meant just as much to me. It meant everything to me.” She adjusted her grip on the sheet. “I’m sorry. I was…startled. I didn’t mean to get upset with you.”
Her sincerity made Callie feel bad about being so pushy. The last thing she wanted to do was to bully Arizona into feeling like crap. “I’m sorry too. I was just worried.” She paused. “You were having another nightmare, weren’t you?”
Arizona licked her lips and nodded slowly. “Yeah. I don’t really remember the details. I think you woke me up before I got in too deep.” Her eyes flickered up and she smiled shyly. “So…thanks.”
Callie returned the gesture, reaching out to clasp the limp hand resting in Arizona’s lap. “I don’t want to make things worse for you by being in your face. Can you tell me what I should or shouldn’t do so I’ll know for next time?”
“Next time?” Arizona echoed, lacing their fingers together. “You mean you actually want a repeat performance of the morning grizzly bear from hell?”
Even though she was cracking a joke, Callie’s shoulders drooped. By now she could spot the defence mechanism from a mile away.
“You still don’t get it, do you?” she said softly. “Nothing you ever say or do will scare me away. No matter how cranky you are in the morning, I’ll still be here.” She flashed her a playful smile, hoping to draw something other than gloom out into the open.
Arizona still seemed pretty upset, however. She blushed and abruptly looked away under the intensity of Callie’s gaze. “I just wish I could feel normal again,” she whispered. “I don’t want to keep ruining the good moments.”
“Nothing could ruin the good moments,” Callie said firmly. “Especially not the ones we just finished creating.” She waited until Arizona mustered up a tiny smile. “But you have to stop hiding from me when things get hard for you. Whether it’s the nightmares or even triggers like last night.”
Arizona failed to hide a grimace and darted her eyes away again. She was extremely uncomfortable talking about it but she knew this was something she had to get over. It wasn’t in her nature to show weakness, not even to someone she trusted as much as she did Callie. She had her dad to thank for that psychological mess.
“It feels like that’s all I do these days - fall apart and you have to pick up the pieces. It sucks.”
Callie sighed, tucking a wisp of blonde hair behind Arizona’s left ear. “It’s not like that. You can be yourself in front of me, even on the bad days.”
“But I’m not, though, I’m not myself,” Arizona shot back, exasperated and raising her voice. Her eyes bore desperately into Callie’s for the first time since the conversation had started, pleading with her to understand. Every frustration she had been harbouring for the last six months came bubbling to the surface and it all came tumbling out before she could stop it.
“Last night - I hated that you saw me like that again, crumpled into a ball on the floor like some pathetic loser who can’t get the Boogieman out of her head,” she said in a wavering voice. “I-I’m not this, this…person who gets panic attacks from loud noises, or who has nightmares and hallucinations that make it hard to sleep with the lights off. I’m not someone who freaks out because of a stupid video game that I’ve played a dozen times before. I’m not me anymore, and you have no idea how much it kills me that this is the only person you will ever get to see.”
Callie’s heart broke as tears of frustration welled up in Arizona’s eyes, a few of them escaping down her cheeks. She wanted nothing more than to reach out to her but Arizona continued on before she could respond.
“I am not weak,” Arizona said hoarsely. “I am strong. I used to be strong. I used to be the one who would take care of you; who would protect you from the nightmares a-and the bad days. I was someone who would take you out for an amazing night on the town before bringing you home and making love to you - without being afraid to take my stupid clothes off.” A small sob managed to escape and she had to bite down on her lip to stop another one from following.
A hard lump formed in Callie’s throat and she pulled her legs onto the bed again, moving to Arizona’s side and cradling her cheek in her palm. “Oh, honey…”
Despite the tears, Arizona looked almost angry when she focused on Callie again. “I was the kind of person who would stand up for the people I love instead of hurting them this way. I was the kind of person you deserve to be with and I’m not anymore. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do - this isn’t me, Callie, don’t you get it? I’m not me.”
There was a tiny part of Callie’s heart that jump-started at Arizona’s candid use of the ‘L’ word, but now wasn’t the time to interrupt with further inquiries. Instead she took Arizona’s face between her hands and pulled her into a gentle kiss, wanting to sooth the obvious distress rolling off of her in waves. She could feel the warmth of fresh tears pool against her thumbs and slowly drizzle down her wrist.
“Of course you are,” she whispered when their lips finally parted. “You are you, even if you’re feeling a little bit lost right now. That doesn’t make you any less of the person you were before.”
Arizona let out an awkward hiccup-sob and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. “I’m really not helping your case right now.”
That made Callie smile as she swiped her thumbs across tear-stained cheeks. “Nothing about the woman I met four months ago was weak, Arizona. Nothing. The same goes for right now. You’re still the strongest person that I’ve ever known. I don’t know how many times I can keep telling you that, but I will if I have to.”
Arizona blinked her eyes open and pursed her lips, fixing Callie with a disbelieving look.
“Hey, you’ve had a lot of bad shit happen to you in the last few years, and yet you’re here with me, right now, because you refused to give up fighting,” Callie argued. “Just because some days are harder than others doesn’t mean you’re any less Arizona Robbins. It’ll get better, I promise. You’ll heal.”
Arizona heaved a weary sigh, rolling her eyes at herself. “Sometimes I wonder. It really doesn’t feel that way.”
“One day at a time.” Callie kissed her again, softer this time. Arizona was still fairly tense as Callie moved her lips along the side of her jaw, trailing a short path up to her ear. “No matter how hard it gets, I’ll be there with you every step of the way. Got it?”
In spite of her natural defensiveness, Arizona already felt closer to Callie than she ever thought possible. The idea of being all in was completely terrifying, especially because she felt so fractured on the inside, and especially in moments like these. But if there was one person she could trust to not judge her for her damages, it was Callie. Cementing their physical relationship had only strengthened the connection she had felt from early on. There wasn’t a single soul on earth she could ever imagine opening up to the way they had only hours before. That had been the biggest step she had taken in her recovery to date, and she refused to let a minor setback destroy all of the hard work they had done to get there.
If Callie believed in her, wholeheartedly and despite the broken pieces she was still mending, then they could get through it together.
When the silence stretched on, Callie started to get worried. “Arizona?” she asked, pulling back to fix her with a worried frown.
Even though her eyes were still red, Arizona’s smile was much lighter this time as she leaned forward and covered Callie’s mouth with her own. It was like a sudden weight had been lifted from her shoulders - now Callie had literally seen everything there was to see; there were no more hidden surprises lurking in the shadows. As far as Arizona could tell, the only way to go from here was up.
Feeling as though they had averted a potentially day-breaking disaster, Callie broke the kiss and rubbed her nose across Arizona’s. “Do you want me to wake you up when you’re dreaming?”
Arizona slid a hand along the curve of her girlfriend’s hip, enjoying the bare skin beneath her fingertips. “Yeah. If it gets bad enough that you’re noticing, then…yeah.”
“Okay, I can do that.” Callie released a content sigh. “What else?”
“I don’t know,” Arizona admitted. She rested her forehead peacefully against Callie’s. “I guess we can figure it out as we go along. Maybe just...give me a minute to get my bearings straight? So I don’t wig out on you again?”
“So no touching once you’re awake?” Callie dragged the backs of her fingernails along Arizona’s ribcage, eliciting a delightful shiver.
Arizona smiled coyly. “Well, don’t run away, but yeah, I might need a second. Just let me know that you’re there and it’ll help.”
“Okay,” Callie repeated, curling an arm around the blonde’s waist. She tugged her in body closer, preparing to lie them both down. The sheet that was wedged between them proved to be a nuisance, keeping her from that wonderful skin-on-skin contact she was craving. “You’re too beautiful to cover up,” she pointed out, lifting a hand and waiting for permission.
An automatic blush flooded Arizona’s cheeks, but she bit her lip and nodded, letting Callie pull the material away. Callie untangled the blankets before throwing the set back over top of them both for warmth.
Arizona settled on her back and let Callie ease down on top of her. She still felt kind of exposed, but she was positive that she would get over the fear in no time. It was pretty hard to feel anything other than blissful as they lay tangled together beneath the covers - especially because Callie was just as naked as she was.
Grinning, Callie dipped down to steal a playful kiss, sensing a much lighter mood now. “Mm, this is better,” she murmured, allowing her mouth to wander down Arizona’s throat.
Arizona had closed her eyes and was relaxing into the sensation when she heard Callie chuckle against her skin. “What’s so funny?”
Callie lifted her head wearing an enormously smug grin. “I gave you a hickey.”
“Really?” Arizona cocked an eyebrow, fighting back a smile. “Wow. You’re lucky I don’t have a job to go to, Torres.”
“Scarves,” Callie pointed out, nibbling at Arizona’s bottom lip before shifting back to her neck. “Here, let me try for another.”
“No!” Arizona laughed and playfully pushed her away. “Down, girl.”
Pouting, Callie eased herself between Arizona’s legs, dropping a hand under the covers to run it along her side. “C’mon, where’s your sense of adventure?”
Arizona pretended to look thoughtful as she rubbed her left thigh sensually along the brunette’s hip. “Oh, I definitely have one. It’s just got a slightly...different idea of how to spend the next twenty minutes.”
“Oh?” Callie feigned curiosity as her lips hovered just out of reach. “Twenty minutes? Is that a challenge?”
Grinning, Arizona slid a hand around the back of Callie’s neck and put an end to anymore discussion.
***
June 22nd, 2009
Things were noticeably different between them after that first night. Callie saw a new side to Arizona - it was subtle and seemingly unconscious, but she was more open with her affection and less likely to withdraw when things got tough. Their physical affection for one another hadn’t exactly been lacking before they slept together, but Callie quickly realized that Arizona had been holding back on some level. Now there was a spark in her eyes and an ease to her actions that made her seem that much happier with the way things were going. She was also more playful and teasing, which Callie could not emphasize enough how much she loved.
Three straight nights of sharing a bed - among other things - had Callie on cloud nine. They were forced to miss the fourth when she worked the late shift and didn’t want to wake Arizona up at four in the morning. But Arizona made it clear at breakfast that it shouldn’t even be an issue - she wanted Callie in the same bed, whatever the time of day or night. End of story.
After that, they alternated rooms. There was no real rhyme or reason beyond whichever felt closer or wherever Callie found Arizona passed out when she came home. More than once she had returned from work to find the blonde sprawled out in her bedroom, the TV still on or a book resting beside her as she drooled on a pillow. It was cute.
Twice in the first week of their new arrangement, Callie awoke to find Arizona trembling next to her. In both instances she had managed to calm her down without waking her up, and dutifully stood by until she was positive that the dreams would not return. It made for some tired mornings but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Arizona didn’t seem aware that anything had happened and that’s all Callie could ask for.
It was a little over a week later that she woke up alone for the first time. Arizona was due to meet her physical therapist at a nearby swimming pool bright and early, so Callie guessed that she had left without saying goodbye. It had taken a lot of convincing to get Arizona to agree to it in the first place, but in the end she couldn’t argue that it was an excellent way to build muscle strength in her leg.
Pouting at the sudden lack of morning sex to start her day, Callie slipped out from under the covers and rooted around the dresser for some clothing. Any other day and she would have gone back to sleep for a few hours, but she could smell bacon frying in the kitchen, which meant that Cristina was trying to cook. If the whole place didn’t burn down in the process, she would steal a few scraps for herself.
It was only in the middle of brushing her teeth that she remembered Cristina was at a conference in Boston for three days. Frowning at the mirror, she quickly washed up before heading down the hall and out into the main area of the apartment.
Arizona stood at the stove, scrambling a pile of eggs, and looked over with a bright smile. “Morning, sleepyhead. I thought I was gonna have to serve you breakfast in bed again.”
Callie paused at the edge of the kitchen, furrowing her brow. “What are you doing here?” she asked curiously, a magnetic pull guiding her eyes downward. She couldn’t help but notice what her girlfriend was wearing - one of Callie’s old t-shirts from Brown University. It was big on her and fell just below the hip, barely covering her underwear. She looked incredibly sexy, but it was also a little surprising. Even though Arizona had grown more comfortable with her body in private, Callie had yet to see her strutting around the apartment without any pants on.
Not that she was complaining.
However, she was concerned about why Arizona was home instead of at the pool. “Did Jeff cancel on you at the last minute?”
Arizona paused in the midst of pushing eggs around with a spatula. She chewed on her bottom lip and debated lying. “Um…no, he didn’t. I called him.”
With her frown deepening, Callie padded across the kitchen and slid an arm around Arizona’s waist. “Is your knee swelling up again?” she asked, pressing a ‘good morning’ kiss to her temple.
Arizona let her eyes drift closed for a moment. “A little. I just wasn’t feeling up for it today.”
Pursing her lips, Callie extracted herself and leaned back against the counter, scrutinising Arizona closely.
Arizona avoided eye contact, tossing more cheese into the frying pan instead. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not a big deal; I can go next week.”
Callie remained silent. She waited until the blonde finally looked her way before raising an eyebrow.
Sighing in exasperation, Arizona rolled her eyes. “Okay fine, I didn’t want to go, okay? I chickened out.”
Callie gently plucked the spatula from her hands and poked at the eggs to make sure they were cooked, then turned off the element. “C’mere.”
Arizona pouted as Callie gathered her into her arms. “I’m sorry. I just wasn’t comfortable with the idea of wearing a bathing suit when I woke up. It’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” Callie admonished, pushing hair away from her girlfriend’s eyes. “But you have nothing to be ashamed of. You look amazing in that one-piece you bought on the weekend.”
Even thinking about wearing that thing made Arizona blush. “Yeah, when it’s just you around. I don’t want to be gawked at by a bunch of grade-schoolers or frat boys while I try not to drown.”
“You swam competitively; I doubt you’ll have too much trouble getting back into it,” Callie pointed out. “And besides, anybody staring at you will be too distracted by how hot you are to care about a few scars on your leg.”
Smiling, Arizona rested her hands on Callie’s collarbone. “Always the smooth talker, huh?”
A slow grin spread across Callie’s face. “I only speak the truth,” she teased, leaning in for a soft kiss.
Arizona sighed happily into the familiar contact, momentarily forgetting her worries. “I should have gone. I’ve just never felt so self-conscious about swimming before; it’s weird.”
“You’ll get used to it again,” Callie encouraged. “Trust me, you’ll be glad that you went. Go a few times a week and I guarantee you will see major improvements in both strength and balance. It could really kickstart you into walking without a crutch or a cane again.”
“I wish we had a pool here,” Arizona admitted. “At least then it would be a little more private.”
That sparked an idea in Callie’s mind. “I might be able to work something out,” she said slowly. “If you want to ease yourself into things, we could go somewhere with just the two of us.”
Arizona looked curious. “Where? How?”
“I have my ways,” Callie said with a secretive smile. “Don’t worry about it for now. I kind of want to focus on the fact that you’re wearing my clothes.”
Arizona glanced down at the faded black t-shirt she had on and grinned. “You noticed that, huh? Is it okay?”
“Oh, more than,” Callie murmured, ducking her head to pull Arizona into another kiss. She linked both arms around the slender woman’s waist and very casually dropped a hand to her ass.
Arizona snickered and pulled away with a raised brow. “You got laid last night and you’re already wanting more?”
Callie stared at her blankly. “I don’t understand the question.”
Laughing, Arizona wiggled out of her arms and reached for the crutch she had leaning against the fridge. “Eat your eggs first. You’ll need the energy for round two.”
“More like five,” Callie muttered under her breath, interrupting the blonde’s quest for breakfast plates by snagging her around the waist and reeling her back in.
***
June 24th, 2009
“How did you manage this?” Arizona asked, peering out the car window at the dark YMCA in front of them. “It’s already closed.”
Callie turned off the wipers and killed the engine. “Friends in high places,” she mused, receiving a curious head tilt in return. “I called the building manager and arranged for us to rent it after hours,” she clarified.
“You rented it? As in the entire pool?” Arizona’s eyes widened. “Callie, that sounds really expensive.”
“Don’t even worry about it,” Callie said with a quick wave of her hand. “If it gets you into the pool and working out that gorgeous leg I repaired, it’s more than worth it. There won’t be anyone here but us.”
Arizona wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about Callie dropping a few hundred dollars in one evening for her sake. She was so nonchalant about it that Arizona had to wonder just how much money the Torres family really had. Ultimately she could not have cared less if Callie was the Queen of Europe or the Paper Bag Princess - she had a huge heart and that was all that mattered.
“Come on.” Callie got out of the car and moved around to help Arizona. They grabbed their bags and the crutches from the back seat, then headed through the drizzling rain toward the entrance. There they were met by an employee of the complex who led them inside.
Soon enough Arizona found herself sitting in the change room, taking in the eerie silence around her. Callie had gone to finalize everything with the staff member, telling Arizona to change and be ready by the time she got back. Despite being alone, she couldn’t help but fumble nervously as she took off her clothes and exchanged them for the blue women’s Speedo she had recently purchased. It was similar to what she used to wear when she raced in high school, but the familiarity didn’t wash away her fears. Changing somewhere that wasn’t within the comfort of her own home made her feel shy and awkward.
“We’re all set,” Callie announced as she reappeared, closing the door behind her. She paused mid-step and studied her girlfriend’s physique with an appreciative eye. “Wow. You look amazing.”
Arizona blushed but shot her a thankful smile, stuffing her street clothes into a locker. “Sorry I couldn’t wear a two-piece for you. Maybe someday when we visit the beach.”
Callie could dream about that all day long but she quickly shook it off. The last thing she wanted to do was make Arizona feel uncomfortable by ogling her - even if she was very ogle-able.
As Callie unpacked her swim bag and started to change, Arizona pulled out her cellphone and spotted a text message from Teddy. “Sounds like it’s hellish at the hospital right now. Be glad you’re not on-call.”
“Big accident?” Callie asked, switching her bra for a bikini top.
“She didn’t specify,” Arizona replied, still focused on texting Teddy back. “She says to tell you ‘hi’ and not to let me drown because I can be kind of a klutz. Gee, I love my best friend.”
Callie laughed as she tossed her clothes into the locker. She grabbed two towels from her gym bag and then added it to the mix, waiting for Arizona to put her phone away before locking everything up.
Arizona caught a glimpse of Callie in her peripheral vision and immediately did a double-take. Stunned, her lips parted for a full three seconds before she managed to speak. “Whoa.”
Callie smirked as she tied her hair up in a messy ponytail. “What? I’m a Miami girl, remember? Don’t look so surprised.”
Arizona continued to gape at the gorgeous form on display, covered only by a crimson red bikini top and bottom. It was revealing without going over the top, and it accented the brunette’s natural beauty in every way imaginable. She looked flawless in it - especially her legs. Arizona definitely had a thing for her legs.
And pretty much every other part of her body.
Arizona tried not to swallow her own tongue when she answered. “Uh…y-yeah, I know, it’s just…wow. You look…wow.” Suddenly she had completely forgotten why she was supposed to be nervous in the first place.
It never failed to amuse Callie how speechless she could make the blonde just by showing a little skin. She helped her stand up and handed over one of the forearm crutches for balance on the way to the pool. “Come on. Let’s get you wet.”
Arizona nodded wordlessly. That wasn’t going to be a problem.
***
“You know, it’s hardly fair that you’re bribing me with how sexy you look. I won’t get this kind of treatment in my actual physical therapy sessions.”
“I should hope not,” Callie snickered from where she was treading water in the middle of the pool. She waited patiently as Arizona sat on the side wall. “Somebody’s gotta give you some incentive on your first time out. You’re over thinking things. Just get in and it’ll be like riding a bike.”
“I have a history of mishaps on two wheels. Remember the story I told you about falling down a hill? Not your best analogy.”
“Come on,” Callie urged, swimming closer and planting both feet on the bottom. She lifted her hands to rest them on Arizona’s lap. “I’ve got you, I promise.”
Arizona released a shaky breath, glancing around them out of habit. It was empty as could be, aside from the two of them. “Okay.” She gripped the edge of the pool and took a deep breath before easing herself into the water.
Callie immediately took hold of her waist, ensuring that it was a smooth transition. “There you go,” she said softly, giving the blonde an encouraging smile. Even when Arizona had both feet on the bottom, where the depth only came up to her chest, she held on tightly. “See? The hardest part is over.”
Arizona had to admit that it felt pretty good to be in the water again. She used to love swimming on a regular basis, even outside of competition. Wanting to immerse herself in the full experience - literally - she held her breath and dipped her head under.
Callie was grinning with pride by the time she re-emerged, causing Arizona to blush. “Stop it. I got in a pool; it’s nothing to write home about.”
“Don’t make me dunk you,” Callie shot back with a cheeky smirk. “Little things add up quickly. Now come on, follow me.”
Arizona watched her swim away before looking down nervously at her leg. Through the distortion of the water, it was almost impossible to make out the damage to her muscle or the scars on her knee. The water also made it easy for her to stand upright, something she hadn’t managed to do without support on land. It barely even hurt, provided she didn’t move around too much.
Callie tread water again while she waited for Arizona to gather herself. She watched as her girlfriend started taking small steps at first before finally going waterborne. “How does that feel?”
Arizona winced the first time she kicked her right leg and a dull ache resonated upward. She used mostly her arms to arrive at Callie’s side before doing her best to swim in place, despite still being within reach of the bottom. “It’s okay. Definitely stiff,” she replied. She was quickly becoming aware of muscles that had scarcely been used in months, just barely able to keep herself above the water line.
“If you’re feeling it, that means it’s working,” Callie said cheerfully, determined to maintain a positive attitude throughout the evening. “What do you want to do first?”
“I don’t know. You’re the orthopedic surgeon, what do you think?” Arizona winced again and dropped her left leg to the bottom, letting her right float weightlessly beside it.
“Tonight should be about having fun,” Callie suggested. “We don’t have to worry about the medical side of things just yet. Let’s get you used to the water again so the next time you’re out with Jeff, it won’t be so scary.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s the type that would just throw me into the pool if I don’t cooperate.”
“You could kick his scrawny little ass from here to Baghdad and he knows it,” Callie teased. “You’re sure he’s good with water training?”
“Yeah, he says he’ll work out a program for me once he sees what I can do,” Arizona said, flexing her leg underwater. “Which I’m assuming won’t be much at first.”
Callie squinted hard at her and suddenly threw a wall of water forward with a splash of her arm.
Arizona yelped and shied away, hit dead on by the miniature tsunami. “Callie! What the hell?”
“New teaching method,” Callie said smugly as Arizona shook water out of her eyes. “Every time you put yourself down, I either splash you or I dunk you.”
“What are you, five?”
Callie’s answer was to cup her hands together and squirt a jet of water right into her girlfriend’s face.
“Oh, two can play at this game,” Arizona challenged, taking in a deep breath before ducking under the surface.
Callie had little time to congratulate herself on goading the woman into forgetting about her worries. She felt a tug on her leg and fingers digging into her ticklish side, causing her to jump. She twisted around and her feet left the pool floor, which allowed Arizona to grab her around the waist and yank her under.
That set off a flurry of flailing limbs and playful shrieks. They acted like a couple of six-year-olds for the next ten minutes - splashing, grabbing; even an instance of elementary school hair pulling. Both were confident swimmers by nature and not afraid of accidentally drowning the other, which meant that there was some ‘accidental’ groping going on at the same time. Not a whole lot of traditional swimming techniques were used, and certainly nothing that could be considered ‘beneficial’ in the rehabilitation department.
It was the most fun Arizona had had in months.
Unfortunately, she had to cry ‘uncle’ when she surfaced a short time later, although not before leaping onto Callie’s back and throwing both arms around her neck like a clingy koala bear.
“Wait, wait, I give up,” she panted, holding on for dear life. “I need a…a second...can’t breathe...”
Callie grabbed Arizona’s forearm and debated dumping her into the water again, but instead she heeded the injured woman’s plea and dragged them both over to the side of the pool. She, too, was a little tired from their water antics. It wouldn’t hurt to take a break and make sure everything was still in order.
Arizona untangled herself and held onto the ledge, wiping hair from her eyes and breathing water from her nose. She shot Callie a silly grin, kicking her legs out to stretch some of her already sore muscles. “I see I’ve met my match. You’re part dolphin, aren’t you?”
“Yep,” Callie agreed with a triumphant smirk. At some point in the struggle her hair elastic had come out and she had to wipe away the wet strands plastered to her face. “I grew up in the waters of Florida. I wrestled alligators in my spare time. You don’t stand a chance.”
“I’m jealous of those alligators,” Arizona quipped, laughing when Callie pushed her against the pool wall and trapped her in place, one hand on either side of her body.
“You have nothing to be jealous of,” Callie husked in a low voice, leaning in and just barely brushing their lips together. She cocked her head to the side and lifted a curious eyebrow. “How’s your leg?”
Arizona swallowed thickly. “Sore, but nothing I can’t handle.”
“Let me see what I can do about that.” Without waiting for a reply, Callie plugged her nose and disappeared from sight.
Arizona jerked forward when she felt strong hands roaming up her leg, working over her sore muscles. A set of fingers wrapped around her upper thigh, giving it a firm, distinctly sexual squeeze.
“Oh, that’s cheating,” she mumbled to herself, even though Callie probably couldn’t hear her.
Underwater, Callie took her time in exploring all the way down to Arizona’s calf, doing what she could to ease some of the weary tension in the strained limb. As much as she was trying to help, she was also thoroughly enjoying the chance for an innocent bit of teasing.
When she eventually needed to breathe, she made a point of surfacing so close to Arizona that their upper bodies rubbed together in all the right places.
“Looking good down there,” she said brightly, making a show of sweeping her eyes down Arizona’s body. “Feeling good?”
“Among other things,” Arizona groaned, allowing Callie to pin her against the wall once more. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around her waist, thankful that the move was effortless in the water. Their lips meshed in a frenzy of breathless kisses and Arizona wasted no time in weaving her fingers through her girlfriend’s dark curls, tugging her harder into the embrace.
Callie released an appreciative moan, using her upper body to hold Arizona in place. Wandering hands fell beneath the water and wrapped themselves around the blonde’s quivering thighs, giving them an earnest tug forward.
The move made Arizona smile into the kiss, momentarily breaking the spell. “This isn’t very physically rehabilitative,” she murmured, gently nibbling on Callie’s bottom lip.
Callie’s amusement matched her partner’s. “Not for your leg, anyway,” she added in a husky voice, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Arizona snickered and allowed herself to be drawn into another kiss, her tongue darting out to tango with Callie’s. This probably wasn’t what the building manager had in mind when he allowed them to rent the place out, but nobody was there with them and she would be damned if she didn’t take advantage of Callie in such sexy swimwear.
“Told you this wouldn’t be so bad,” Callie mused when they pulled back after a moment, stealing soft kisses in between words.
“You did,” Arizona replied, smiling as she wove her fingers into her girlfriend’s damp hair. “I guess that makes you right. Imagine that.”
Callie scrunched her nose and nudged Arizona with her hips. “Smartass.” She gave her thighs one final squeeze before releasing them and taking a back. “Just for that, you have to swim two laps before I’ll make out with you again.”
Arizona’s jaw dropped in mock offense. “Are you bribing me again? With sex?”
Callie turned away and swam a few lengths out into the pool. She glanced over her shoulder and gave a casual shrug. “Maybe,” she said innocently, then continued on her way.
Watching Callie start a half-lap toward the shallow end, Arizona shook her head and dragged her tired self over to the far back wall. She held onto the ledge so she didn’t drown in the deeper water, though she was fairly certain that Callie wouldn’t let her go under for too long.
Planting her feet on the wall and flexing her calf muscle to test its resistance, Arizona pulled in a few deep, calming breaths, then kicked off and flipped over onto her front, swimming freestyle.
Callie made it to the opposite side of the pool and turned to watch, breaking out into a huge smile when she saw Arizona coming toward her. “That’s it! You’re doing great!”
Never in her life had Arizona felt like there was an elephant strapped to her feet, pulling her in the opposite direction, as she did right now. She had to fight hard to stay above the surface and it almost felt as though she were swimming in one spot. Coordinating her right leg to kick at the same time as her left was proving difficult, as the movements were jerky and nowhere near as smooth as they should be.
It took much longer than she wanted to get to the end of the pool where Callie was cheering her on. Her arms burned something awful and her knee was throbbing in time with her heart, but nevertheless, she broke out into a breathless smile when she finally surfaced.
“Holy crap, that was terrible,” she gasped, easily laughing it off as she gripped the wall and pushed hair out of her eyes.
“Don’t make me dunk you again,” Callie scolded. She guided Arizona’s chin in her direction and planted a congratulatory kiss on her cheek. “You did great. Your technique is a thousand times better than mine.”
As sweet as the words were, Arizona rolled her eyes in a playful manner. “Thanks. So, can we make out now?”
“You’ve got one more lap to do,” Callie pointed out, pushing away from the wall and swimming backwards, keeping an eye on her. “C’mon, one more time and then I’ll let you rest.”
Arizona groaned and faced the wall again, dropping her forehead against the wet tile. “I’m exhausted,” she whined loudly. Her heart was still returning to a normal rhythm and she was pretty sure she would pass out midway through another lap. Her old swim coach would have had a few choice words for such a lazy, poor attitude, but right now she could not have cared less.
While she was still in the process of gathering herself for another attempt, Arizona felt something wet smack her on the back of the head. Thinking that Callie had thrown a pool toy, she wrinkled her nose and pulled it over her shoulder.
It was Callie’s bikini top.
She whirled around but Callie was already swimming away as fast as she could, splashing too much water for Arizona to catch a glimpse.
“Callie Torres, you are going to be the death of me,” she groaned to herself, fighting back a huge grin that was threatening to break free.
Twisting around, she pushed off of the wall and surged forward in hot pursuit.
---