Scar Tissue (Part Two) -- Chapter 23-A
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Scar Tissue (Part Two)
Chapter 23-A
Authors: kennedysbitch & livelovelearneg
Beta'd by englishstrawbie
Rating: NC-17 [Depictions of violence, PTSD, Language, Sexual Content]
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer
Scar Tissue [masterpost]
Summary: When Arizona Robbins’ brother dies in Iraq, her life takes off in a completely different direction. Now a highly-rated trauma surgeon with the United States Marine Corps, she spends the three years following his death serving their country overseas - until an insurgent attack leaves her with debilitating injuries. Traveling to Seattle at her father’s request, she falls under the care of orthopedic surgeon Dr. Calliope Torres. Damaged emotionally and physically, Arizona tries to start the healing process with the help of a headstrong woman she never saw coming.
Part Two: Now free from the confines of a hospital bed for the first time
in almost five months, Arizona begins her physical and emotional recovery while
navigating a budding yet rocky relationship with Callie Torres.
Warnings: Depictions of violence, PTSD, Language, Sexual Content
Trailer:
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Callie awoke disoriented and confused, soaked in a cold sweat that tangled the blankets around her legs and glued her t-shirt to her chest. The room was pitch black and filled with the sound of her own heavy breathing. It took her a moment to get her bearings and remember why she had woken in the first place.
As she sat up, some of the finer details began to fade away, leaving behind a sense of dread that lodged itself square in the centre of her chest.
It was only a dream. She pinched the bridge of her nose, drilling the reminder into her brain.
Parts of it were beginning to blur but she remembered being alone in the apartment, calling out Arizona’s name and getting only silence in return. Worried about the previous night’s events, she walked into the third bedroom only to find it empty. Not just of Arizona herself, but of all her belongings, the furniture - anything that made the room look like someone had ever lived there. It was empty and bare, and so cold it would have raised goosebumps on her skin if it had been real.
Callie squeezed her eyes shut and tried to chase away the mental slideshow, pressing the heels of her palms into her face as she fell back against the pillow with a groan.
~
The sound of running water attracted her attention from down the hall and, all of a sudden, icicles permeated her veins. Her legs refused to work properly as she stumbled toward the bathroom, struggling to say Arizona’s name, only to find that her voice had disappeared completely. She fell into the doorframe and lifted an arm as heavy as a brick of cement, trying to push it open-
~
Callie jerked awake again, blinking rapidly to try and curb her mind’s desire to finish where it had left off. Her heart pounded in a steady rhythm as a scattering of dark thoughts buzzed around her head, making her feel just the slightest bit nauseous.
She seldom remembered her dreams, good or bad, but there were certain details of this one that refused to leave her alone. She hadn’t seen anything beyond her outstretched hand and the door in front of her, but she knew what was waiting for her behind it. The knowing had been just as bad as seeing it for herself.
Groaning, Callie sat up a second time and swung her legs over the side of the bed. It would be impossible to fall back to sleep with those horrible thoughts swimming around, waiting to pounce on her the moment she closed her eyes.
Right now all she wanted to do was check on her girlfriend, even though she knew it would be inconsiderate to wake her up in the middle of the night. Arizona had much more pressing things to worry about these days than some stupid, baseless thoughts running around Callie’s head unchecked. These were her insecurities, not Arizona’s. There was no reason to think that she could ever really-
Except in her dream, she knew what she would find inside of that bathroom if she looked. She had cried out Arizona’s name and wept for the unbearable loss that began to trickle its way through her, eventually sending her to knees as a wail of despair rose from her lips.
This time Callie was unable to quell her protective instincts and found herself stumbling around the bed and out into the hall, clad in only a t-shirt and her underwear. It was dark and she stubbed her toe on something, ignoring the throb in her foot as she paused just outside of Arizona’s door. She leaned in and listened for signs of life.
Nothing.
Which didn’t mean anything, other than Arizona was sleeping like any normal person would be at this time of night. Callie hadn’t actually checked the time, but she knew it had to be really late. Or possibly early.
She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the cool surface of the door. She was yearning to be near Arizona again; not only because of the dream, but because of the guilt eating away at her from the incident earlier that day. She had been so stupid that she could hardly believe she was allowed to call herself a doctor. Who on earth wouldn’t think twice before subjecting someone with war-related PTSD to simulated violence of the same nature? Seriously, who did that? Certainly not someone with medical training and a brain in their head. Clearly she had been missing the latter after consuming a few too many beers. The guilt was strong enough to make Callie rethink ever drinking again.
Her hand closed around the doorknob and she carefully pushed it open, staring into the blackness beyond. The curtains over the far window prevented any outside light from helping her eyes adjust, and for the longest fifteen seconds of her life, she began to wonder if the room was as empty as it had been in her nightmare.
The outline of a bed and the lump of blankets on top slowly began to take form. Eventually Callie could make out the shape of a person strewn amongst them and she breathed a temporary sigh of relief. Arizona was right where she was supposed to be, sound asleep and completely undisturbed. Any sane person would have backed out and let her be, but Callie couldn’t let go of the need to make sure she was still breathing.
Caught in her own indecisiveness, she stayed there, watching Arizona sleep for a few minutes. She was able to come up with a million different reasons to turn around and go back to bed, and very few logical ones to stay. Just because she was afraid of something happening didn’t mean that it would manifest itself in reality; least of all here, least of all tonight.
But the idea of leaving brought back that tight ball of stress in her stomach, so Callie resigned herself to leaning against the door frame instead. She felt like a bit of a creep and wondered if Arizona would be weirded out if she knew. She just needed a minute before she tried going back to bed.
Arizona was out cold, sprawled on her stomach with the blankets resting midway up her back. She looked peaceful from what Callie could see in the dark; no traces of anguish or nightmares were visible from where she stood. She could only hope that there was starting to be more good nights than bad. Arizona hadn’t talked about any significant nightmares for about a week, although Callie still got the feeling that she kept some of them to herself.
More than anything, she wished that they could trade places. Even if it was just for one day, Callie would have gladly taken on everything Arizona was going through if it allowed her to get some peace and quiet. She hated being so damn useless all the time. Standing by and watching someone she cared about go through flashbacks and sickness was the worst kind of helplessness she had ever felt.
About five minutes passed before the rustling of sheets interrupted her train of thought. She stiffened and prepared to leave before she was discovered, only to have Arizona’s hoarse voice stop her in her tracks.
“Calliope?” Arizona propped herself up, blinking sleep from her eyes as she cast a look over her shoulder at the shadow in the doorway. It might have alarmed her if she hadn’t immediately recognized the familiar stance Callie took when she was deep in thought about something.
Callie cursed inwardly and stepped inside the bedroom, shutting the door so the dim light from the hallway wouldn’t bother the half asleep woman in front of her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Is everything okay?”
Arizona’s sleepy voice was undoubtedly the sexiest thing that Callie had ever heard, but she still felt like a jackass for waking her up in the first place. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Go back to sleep.”
Arizona stifled a big yawn and rolled onto her side. “C’mere.”
Callie padded sheepishly across the room and sat on the edge of the mattress, reaching out to place a hand on the curve of her girlfriend’s hip. “I’m really sorry. I couldn’t sleep and wanted to check on you after everything that happened tonight.”
Arizona shifted again, still tangled beneath the covers, and dropped her head onto the pillow. Every bone in her body was aching with protest at being awake, but something in Callie’s voice kept her from falling back under.
“Why couldn’t you sleep?” she asked, peering through the darkness. She couldn’t imagine Callie showing up at her bedside this time of night without a good reason.
Feeling silly, Callie dropped her eyes, running a hand across the sheet covering Arizona’s belly. “Bad dreams,” she murmured. “It’s nothing, really. Close your eyes.”
From her vantage point, Arizona was able to study Callie’s form in detail. She could make out the tension in her shoulders and the serious lines drawn in her face. It worried her. She, of all people, understood how a vivid dream could screw with your head.
It wasn’t until she heard Callie release a ragged breath that she became really worried. She sat up, brushing a mess of hair away from her face before running a hand down the other woman’s arm. “Sweetie, what is it?”
When Callie finally mustered up the courage to look Arizona in the eye, there were tears blurring her vision. “Promise me you’ll never hurt yourself, okay?” she pleaded, her voice sounding incredibly small.
Taken back, Arizona furrowed her brow. “What?” she asked, at a total loss for words. She didn’t know how to respond to that.
Callie felt like an idiot but she just couldn’t hold it in any longer. For weeks she had been growing more and more concerned for Arizona’s wellbeing, and after the incident at the wharf, when she finally realized just how bad her girlfriend’s PTSD really was, those feelings had stared to spill over into her conscious, every day thoughts. She had just been too terrified to admit it out loud until now.
Callie was absolutely terrified that she wouldn’t be able to help Arizona; that if things got bad enough - if the nightmares and the flashbacks and the survivor’s guilt plagued her until she was too tired to fight anymore - she might lose herself to that kind of pain.
It happened to the best of people. Stress and depression could do terrible things to a person. It certainly wasn’t the first time she had heard of a returning veteran unable to cope with the difficulties of being back in a civilian capacity, and many of them hadn’t suffered the severe injuries that her girlfriend had.
The mere thought of Arizona hurting herself shook Callie to her very core, whether the fear was unfounded or not. She would never forgive herself for staying silent and letting something horrible happen if she could have prevented it by speaking up.
“I know things can get bad for you sometimes,” Callie continued as she struggled to hold it together. “Please, please promise me that you won’t ever let it get that far. Please.”
Warmth rolled down Callie’s cheeks and she knew the tears had won out. Crying in front of other people wasn’t her thing and she felt ridiculous for turning into a blubbering moron at three in the morning, especially when her girlfriend clearly needed some sleep.
Arizona could see how distressed Callie was and immediately jumped in to comfort her. “Never,” she replied, pulling her into a tight embrace. She could feel Callie’s whole body trembling in her arms. “God, no. I would never do that to myself. Or to you. I promise.”
Callie squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face in the crook of Arizona’s neck, wrapping both arms around her torso. She felt relieved just hearing it said out loud - weeks of trying not to think about the worst case scenario had done her conscience no good.
Arizona didn’t know what else to say, though it didn’t stop her from holding Callie tightly and running a soothing hand up and down her back. They sat in silence while she released all of the pent-up emotions she had been holding in for far too long. Arizona kissed the shell of her ear and whispered soothing words until she felt the trembling start to slow.
Callie didn’t mind the quiet. Her outburst had both surprised and repulsed her, not to mention it had drained her remaining energy sources. She burrowed her nose into Arizona’s skin and breathed deeply, feeling some of the tension release as slender fingers trailed up the back of her neck.
“Shh,” Arizona murmured. “It was just a bad dream. I’m right here with you and I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
“Ugh, I’m sorry,” Callie gushed as she reluctantly pulled back from the embrace, sniffling loudly. “God, this is so disgusting - ew, now you’re all wet.” She made a face and tugged on Arizona’s t-shirt, rubbing at the tear stains feebly.
The endearing commentary brought a smile to Arizona’s face. “Hey, it’s okay,” she whispered, swiping each thumb across a tear-stained cheek. “You have nothing to be sorry for, so stop apologizing.”
“It was just a stupid dream,” Callie said weakly. “I should’ve let you sleep.”
“Dreams can be cruel,” Arizona pointed out as she pulled Callie into a gentle kiss. “This? Much more real, much more fun,” she added before repeating the action.
Callie melted into the connection she was craving, sliding her fingers up to bury themselves in Arizona’s hair. It felt so familiar that it was suddenly hard to feel sad or afraid of anything.
Only when Arizona felt Callie relax did she finally break the kiss, resting their foreheads together. The comfort of the moment was broken when a residual tear slid down Callie’s left cheek, which Arizona quickly brushed away with a single stroke of her thumb.
“Can you tell me what happened?” she asked patiently, waiting for Callie to gather her thoughts.
Callie licked her lips. “I came home and found you - I almost found you-” She couldn’t say it out loud. “- a-and then I woke up and couldn’t bear the thought of…”
Arizona’s heart ached. Even without voicing it, she understood the meaning.
Callie kept her forehead pressed firmly against Arizona’s. She was positive that the physical contact was the only thing keeping her glued together right now. She wasn’t exactly known as a pillar of stability when she was deliriously tired, even before she factored in the emotional stress of the last few weeks and a heavy consumption of alcohol earlier in the evening.
“I can’t lose you,” she stated, no longer worried about her confession crossing any lines drawn between them. “You’re a part of me now, and I…I can’t lose you. Especially not like that.”
A sad smile tugged at the corner of Arizona’s mouth. “I know the feeling,” she replied, dipping her head to cover Callie’s lips with her own.
Even though the kiss was slow, it had enough power to banish the remaining tension from Callie’s body. She slumped forward with a sigh of relief, reveling in the sweet taste of Arizona’s lips against her own. There was no other feeling like it.
Once things had calmed down, Arizona carefully broke away again. “I promise you that hurting myself is the furthest thing from my mind,” she said honestly. “You have nothing to worry about. And if for some reason it ever gets so bad that I’m starting to waver, I’ll come to you first. Okay?”
“Okay,” Callie echoed weakly. Although it felt good to finally voice her deepest fear, it was utterly exhausting at this hour of the morning.
When she was sure that the tears had stopped, Arizona scooted back and gestured for Callie to follow. “Crawl in.”
Even in the darkness, Callie knew she was blushing. “No, really, I’m okay. You don’t need a giant blubbering bump interrupting your sleeping patterns.”
Arizona cocked an eyebrow. “I happen to like that giant blubbering ‘bump’ you just insulted, so watch it, lady.”
Callie cracked a smile, hesitant to cross more pre-set boundaries, even if she was relieved at the offer. “Are you sure?”
Arizona peeled back the covers. “C’mere,” she said firmly, patting the mattress beside her.
That was all the reassurance Callie needed. She pulled her legs up and crawled in, letting Arizona guide her back until they were spooning in the center of the bed.
Arizona wrapped an arm around her waist and gave her a firm squeeze. “You’re comfy,” she murmured as Callie wiggled her butt back into her pelvis.
“I forgot I gave you the good sheets,” Callie commented, earning a playful pinch in the side.
“Gee, that’s romantic.”
“Sorry.” She peered over her shoulder, feeling a thousand times better than she had only moments before. “How about ‘you smell good’. Is that better?”
“Much.” Arizona snickered and pressed her lips to her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Are we done exchanging compliments now? You’re a grumpy bear in the morning when you don’t get enough sleep.”
“Somehow I don’t think that will be a problem,” Callie mused as she settled into the pillow. She was utterly exhausted and the relief that accompanied such a huge release of emotion would have her back to sleep in no time.
“Mm, good,” Arizona sighed, already halfway there herself.
Callie smiled at the growing sense of familiarity that having Arizona pressed against her brought. She was definitely looking forward to the day when it would become a regular thing with them.
Behind her, Arizona had no objections of her own, as a few breaths later she was snoring softly into Callie’s ear.
***
The faintest bit of light began to filter around the bedroom curtains only two hours after they fell asleep. When Arizona awoke, the room was glowing with a pre-dawn grey that signaled rainy skies ahead. It illuminated the extra body in her bed and immediately brought a smile to her face.
The fact that Callie had stayed meant a lot to her. She was just starting to get used to waking up together and knew they would have to amend those pesky rules one of these days so the trend could continue.
She inched closer until their noses were nearly touching on the pillow. Their legs were entwined beneath the covers, and she couldn’t resist the urge to run her foot along the smoothness of her girlfriend’s calf, waiting for signs of life to appear.
For once Arizona’s head was remarkably silent. No nightmares plagued her mind, no dreams of any kind lingered to take away her sense of safety. She was vaguely aware of the morning songbirds announcing their arrival outside, even as droplets of rain began to peck at the window. Somehow it all seemed to fit with her mood; she would be totally content if they simply lay in bed all day and listened to the rain together.
All of this was in stark contrast to how she felt in the bathroom the night before. At that time, she had wanted to be alone so she could swallow a double dosage of pills and kill any nightmares before they could get to her. She wanted to make a cave out of her blankets and hibernate for the next century until the impending storm had passed. This, however, was turning into a much better solution if she did say so herself.
Having Callie in bed next to her was far from the ideal ‘roommate’ situation they had tried to cultivate early on, but then Callie was quickly becoming Arizona’s lone source of solace these days. The connection between them had grown to where she truly believed it would take more than a stupid quarrel about their living arrangements to ruin the relationship before it had a chance to get off the ground. In her eyes, they were already soaring through the air, miles ahead of where they had been even a month before.
Rather than move away and put a safer distance between them, Arizona gave in to the urge for more of her body to connect with Callie’s, and for once she didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty about it.
Callie awoke to a trail of sneaky fingers pushing themselves beneath the hem of her t-shirt, sending a tickle of warmth up from her navel to her chest. The hands were soft as a feather and she shivered at the touch as she finally opened her eyes.
Arizona didn’t stop. The lump in her throat grew when she recognized an arousal that matched her own in the brown eyes staring back at her from across the pillow. She traced small patterns along the contour of Callie’s stomach, over her hip, and around to the small of her back.
As if sensing the delicacy of the moment, Callie inched her head forward until their lips were almost touching. She didn’t complete the action, instead giving Arizona the option to pull away.
She didn’t take it. Arizona pressed her lips into Callie’s and splayed her fingers around her hip. The kiss slowly deepened and she pulled at the base of Callie’s t-shirt, dragging the material up her side with agonizing care and exposing an alluring amount of skin.
There were no remnants of her nightmare in Callie’s mind as she reacted to Arizona’s silent question on instinct. It was nearly impossible to pull away from the kiss, but she did so in order to for the garment to be removed completely. As soon as it was free, Arizona dropped it behind the pillows and allowed her eyes to wander.
Callie was more stunning than she could have ever imagined. Even the brief glimpse she’d had on her first day here didn’t measure up to the image before her now. Every inch of Callie’s torso looked radiant and smooth, and the dark hue of her skin left Arizona’s mouth watering for a taste. She was curvy and voluptuous in all the right places, the perfect essence of a woman, and Arizona couldn’t possibly have desired her more than she did in that moment. All of this was before she even had a chance to properly admire Callie’s breasts - they added a whole new dimension to the word ‘hot’.
It wasn’t until she caught a glimpse of amusement tugging at her girlfriend’s mouth that she realized she had been caught staring. A blush coloured her cheeks and she refocused on the mischievous smirk beaming her way.
“Good morning to you, too,” Callie husked with a sparkle in her eye.
With her own smile beginning to form, Arizona recaptured her lips in a heated kiss that said more than she ever could with words.
It wasn’t hard for Callie to sense the underlying uncertainty to the movements, despite Arizona’s apparent enthusiasm. For all of the pleasure Callie took from the delicate touch along her side, there were other places she was craving the contact even more. Her left hand came up and guided Arizona’s palm to cup an exposed breast, smirking at the sharp intake of air against her lips.
Arizona was no stranger to sex, least of all to second base - she had been batting doubles since she was sixteen years old. But right now she felt like a newborn with poor motor skills and the inability to even pretend that she was remotely suave and sexy. Whether it was the length of time that had passed since her last sexual encounter, or the woman that she was currently with, she wasn’t sure. Probably both. Either way, she was suddenly nervous as hell and found herself frozen in place - with her hand still on Callie’s boob.
She’d had better moments.
Callie seemed to find Arizona’s sudden brain shock rather amusing. Instead of allowing the experience to come to an early end, she pulled away from the kiss and waited for darkening blue eyes to meet her own. She flashed Arizona a knowing smile before pushing the covers away and rolling onto her back.
Taking the hint, Arizona moved on top of Callie, her cotton t-shirt rubbing against the woman’s bare chest and drawing a small gasp from below. The noise was small but it was enough to spark some heat in Arizona’s veins.
Wanting to hear more, she stole a brief kiss before sliding down to attach her lips to Callie’s exposed stomach. The move was bolder than either of them had expected and it brought with it a renewed sense of confidence in Arizona. Lying on top of a half naked woman was not an experience she was about to pass up just because she was a little rusty in the sack.
This time it was Callie’s mind that stalled and she lay there in silence while Arizona’s lips and tongue made strategic rounds of one of the more sensitive areas of her body. Her stomach hitched with each feather-light touch against it and her fingers longed to dig themselves into the blonde curls tickling her sides. She just didn’t want to push things too hard, too soon. Instead she gripped the bed sheets in one hand and allowed the other to drift across Arizona’s shoulder, hungry for the touch of skin-on-skin.
Arizona was quickly realizing that this was the perfect way to figure out what elicited the best reactions from her girlfriend. She took her time in exploring the smooth expanse of skin below her, taking note of how Callie reacted to each spot and storing the knowledge in the back of her mind for future use.
The exploration allowed her to grow bolder as she moved a hand up to cover one of Callie’s breasts, circling her thumb around an already stiffening nipple. She couldn’t resist just the slightest squeeze, sliding her wrist down until she was cupping the warm mound in her palm.
Groaning in response, Callie noticed a switch in Arizona’s movements that signaled the easing of some tension. She felt a smirk against her navel, then a tongue dart out to take a playful swipe along the bottom of her breast.
A muffled groan reached Arizona’s ears, providing her with a much-needed confidence boost. Her lips closed around an erect nipple, bathing it with slow, languid strokes of her tongue. The lithe form beneath her shivered with pleasure.
“You are so sexy,” Arizona murmured as her mouth switched sides, gently sucking on the opposite bud, then broke away to pepper the center of Callie’s chest with kisses.
“Mmph,” Callie groaned in response, her eyelids drooping dangerously low. Loose curls fell around Arizona’s shoulders and were incessantly tickling her skin, slowly chipping away at her self-control. She licked her lips and prayed for the patience that she could feel rapidly declining. She needed to taste Arizona - now.
“C’mere,” she urged, tangling her fingers into blonde hair and tugging until their lips crashed together again.
Arizona grunted in surprise and braced her hands on either side of Callie’s body. It took her a moment to catch up with the sudden shift in pace, but when she did, she gave as good as she got, pressing into the woman below her and pushing forward into her mouth.
Callie felt as though an intense heat had been building inside of her for these last few months and she was finally being granted a release for it. She was still wary about forcing Arizona over the edge of her comfort zone, but then again, the hands roaming her body told an entirely different story.
When she was sure that they were on the same page, her mind began to drift toward a whole new set of problems - there were still way too many clothes involved in this equation.
Tearing her lips away with a gasp, she barely managed to pant out a quick “Arizona-” before the blonde closed the gap again, abruptly cutting her off. The tongue thrust into her mouth took away her speech and she melted back into the kiss, momentarily forgetting what she was supposed to say.
Their stupid rules could suck it. This was what she had been waiting for and she would be damned if she ruined it by asking too many questions.
The next chance Callie got to speak was when Arizona broke away to catch her breath. She smiled breathlessly and brushed a thumb along Arizona’s bottom lip, whimpering when the other woman gently nibbled on the tip. She wanted so badly to roll over and take control, but she was still determined to let Arizona set the pace. As horny as she was, her partner’s comfort level came first. She remembered all too well what happened the first time they had tried something like this.
Callie looked into blue eyes and dropped both hands to the remaining t-shirt between them. Rather than take it off herself, she simply pushed her fingers beneath the hem and spread them over the naked curve of Arizona’s waist. She was ever watchful for the slightest hint of regression, ready to retract at a moment’s notice.
Arizona’s breath caught in her throat and all of her newly gained confidence went out the window. There was no doubt that it good it felt to have Callie’s hands on her body, she was just suddenly very aware that it meant Callie’s hands were on her body - a body that she was less than okay with even on the best of days.
The arms on either side of her went rigidly still and gave Callie a heads up that Arizona was on edge. She didn’t change a thing, instead choosing to trace her thumbs over the contour of Arizona’s hip bone, getting her used to the sensation of being touched so intimately again, after such a long time. Callie kept her entire focus on her girlfriend, taking in every range of emotion as it flickered across her face, watching for any real signs of distress.
Arizona’s lips parted and the softest of breaths escaped. The touch sent a shiver up the center of her back and raised goosebumps along her skin. It was as though she, too, was waiting to find out what her reaction to all of this would be. She had no idea what unpleasant surprises were waiting to be unleashed from the darkest corners of her psyche.
Her first instinct was to retreat and it took everything she had not to let it get the better of her. She reminded herself of who she was with, how much she trusted Callie, and how good it felt to be this close to someone again. It was scary, yes, but she wasn’t in any real danger. Callie always took such good care of her. She couldn’t imagine being with anyone else this way.
It was only when Callie took a chance and pushed her hands further up her body that Arizona finally allowed her eyelids to drift closed.
Callie worked her thumbs in small circles along Arizona’s stomach, smiling when it elicited another shiver of delight. Gentle fingers pressed into the blonde’s ribcage and took their time stroking the skin beneath their tips.
She had bypassed Arizona’s abdominal scar at first in order to take things slow, but as Arizona gradually remembered how to breathe again, Callie’s left hand dropped down and her thumb carefully trailed along the small ridge beneath it. Arizona jerked reflexively, and although Callie slowed, she didn’t pull away. She looked up into the fearful eyes above her own and just repeated the motion, slower and more delicate this time, making sure her thumb followed the four inch scar from beginning to end.
Arizona bit down on her bottom lip as her body gave another involuntary quiver. She looked away, ashamed to feel heat flushing her cheeks.
“Arizona, look at me,” Callie spoke quietly, waiting for those familiar blue eyes to meet her own. “You are so beautiful.”
Arizona swallowed thickly and tried to let Callie’s words calm her nerves. She felt butterflies in her stomach, but those butterflies were fighting for space alongside the ball of molten rock that had gotten there first. Right now, the rock was winning.
Or at least it was, until Callie flattened a palm against her stomach and slowly, methodically smoothed it upwards, moving back and forth in a sensual caress. Something that sounded like a wheeze squeaked out of Arizona’s throat as those butterflies erupted in full force.
It wasn’t lost on Callie that Arizona appeared to like the move, judging by the way her eyes rolled back into her head. She took a mental note of it and flashed her a warm smile as she repeated the motion several times, enjoying what it felt like to finally be touching her this way. Even though she couldn’t see what she was running her hands over, Callie was positive that Arizona was the most beautiful person she had ever been with - male or female.
Arizona knew where this was leading and it took a lot of effort for her not to wig out again. She was in control of her emotions this time and she would be damned if yet another psychotic episode of fear ruined the experience for both of them. She wanted this, she was sure of it. One look at a half naked Calliope and the old Arizona would have been stripping down and strutting her stuff by now. She just wasn’t used to feeling so vulnerable during sex.
All it took was another reminder of how much she trusted Callie. To her this was so much more than the simple act of sleeping together, and the delicacy behind each of the brunette’s movements proved that she was feeling the same. Besides, Arizona was such a sucker for that perfect smile, it would be impossible for her to say no.
The part of her that was waiting for Callie to take control and remove the first article of clothing on her behalf quickly realized that it was not going to happen. Callie was looking at her with all of the patience and love in the world, and Arizona knew it had to be her own choice this time around.
When she was hit with the realization that it was up to her to take the next step, Arizona didn’t want to lose her nerve. She forced her arms into action and pushed until she was sitting up and straddling Callie’s waist. The move dislodged the hand doing wonderful things to her stomach, and she was thankful when Callie simply moved them both to rest on either side of her hips. The contact helped her stay grounded.
Arizona slowly dragged her gaze over her girlfriend’s exposed form and marveled at the ease with which she lay there in confidence. Callie didn’t have a thing to be ashamed about and Arizona envied her for that.
It was that thought alone, how she longed to show as much courage as her partner, that finally brought Arizona’s hands to the base of her t-shirt. She released a short breath before pulling it up and over her head in one swift movement. Maybe it wasn’t the slow, sexy reveal that she might have toyed with in the past, but any slower and it would have glued itself to her torso on a permanent basis.
As soon as she let the material drop next to them on the bed, she felt cold and exposed, open, uncomfortable. A self-conscious blush flooded her cheeks and she refused to make eye contact with the woman below her.
Callie’s breath was taken away the moment Arizona’s t-shirt left her body. For the life of her, she could not figure out why such a stunning creature would desperately try to hide herself from the world. Arizona was beautiful, there was no other word for it. While the injuries and subsequent time in hospital had left her underweight upon her release, the last few months had seen her return to a much healthier form. Her creamy white skin was dotted with freckles along her shoulders and chest, instantly enticing Callie’s lips to make a thorough investigation of them up close and personal sometime very soon.
At the risk of being disrespectful, she was unable to keep her eyes from drifting down to Arizona’s breasts. They too were beautiful and full, and housed distinctly tight nipples that led Callie to believe she was enjoying their little make out session on some level, hopefully one that outweighed her insecurities.
In all honesty, the scars on her body were the last thing Callie even noticed.
When she was finally able to tear her eyes away and realize that Arizona had turned to hide from her, her heart broke into a million pieces. “Honey, look at me,” Callie urged, replacing her hands in their earlier position. She trailed them along Arizona’s bare sides, feeling another quake travel through her.
“You take my breath away,” she stated. “You’re perfect.”
The first sign of life from Arizona was a small, self-deprecating laugh. Still, she risked a glance at her partner and managed a tentative smile. It would have been cute if it hadn’t been so sad.
That just wouldn’t do. Determined to prove to Arizona how gorgeous she was, Callie gave her waist a firm squeeze. “C’mere. Lie down.”
Arizona glanced around the room as though she were nervous about an audience. “Callie…”
“No, lie down. Please.” Callie tugged gently and encouragingly, until Arizona relaxed from her statue-like position and allowed herself to be guided onto the bed. They switched places as Arizona settled onto her back and Callie very carefully shifted on top of her. She was mindful not to put too much weight down, not wanting Arizona to feel like she was trapped.
On the contrary, Arizona actually felt better like this. Callie’s body was warm and sleek against her own, and she provided the sense of safety that Arizona had been relying on heavily for the last couple of weeks. She breathed in and released a deep sigh, feeling some of her jitters slowly begin to ebb away.
Callie had a specific plan in mind, but first she wanted her girlfriend to be comfortable with it. She lifted a hand and brushed an errant strand of hair away from Arizona’s forehead, then lowered herself into another kiss.
Again it was slow, calculated, purposeful. Arizona parted her lips and granted Callie’s tongue entry, meeting her halfway. She closed her eyes and for a moment all she was concerned with was the kiss and how to make it last forever. If this was Callie’s method of distraction, it was definitely working.
Callie knew she was on the right track when she heard Arizona’s throaty moan as she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. The prone form below her eased up and she swept a hand along Arizona’s side as they kissed, exploring her flawless curves and daring to graze the swell of her breast with a swipe of her thumb.
Just when Arizona thought Callie was going to take the opportunity to feel her up, the kisses moved away from her mouth and blazed a new trail down the side of her neck, over her collarbone, and down to the valley between her breasts. She actually felt frustrated when Callie moved her hand away from them entirely.
As much as her partner’s assets were begging to be worshipped, Callie forced her mind to stay on task, pausing to hover over her stomach. She shifted her weight onto her left elbow, freeing up her right hand, and sprawled her body across Arizona’s legs.
Arizona lifted her eyes to the ceiling, willing the surge of vulnerability that came over her to pass. Callie seemed content to explore her stomach in silence, pressing her lips to the occasional patch of skin as the urge came to her. It was driving Arizona mad - she had never been so scared out of her mind and turned on all at the same time.
When she finally spotted what she was looking for, Callie’s lips curled up into a light smile. She dipped her head to press a soft kiss beneath Arizona’s left breast where a faint, barely visible scar had caught her eye.
“Hm,” she drawled. “This one says to me…‘my brother dared me to climb a tree and jump into the sandbox’.”
Confused, Arizona scrunched her forehead and looked down to see what she was talking about. Callie sent her an impish grin and trailed a finger back and forth along the tiny blemish, waiting patiently for more information.
She smiled. “Not quite. I fell off my bike and rolled down a steep hill, ass over handlebars. But Tim was definitely there. He laughed pretty hard.”
“I’m pretty sure I would have laughed at you, too.”
Arizona giggled, flashing Callie her dimples for the first time. “I bet you would have. I nearly punctured myself on a tree branch. It hurt like hell.”
“Ouch,” Callie grimaced. “For the record, I’m glad you didn’t skewer yourself.”
“Me too. My surgeon wouldn’t have been nearly as hot as you.”
Laughing, Callie placed one last kiss on the mark and rubbed a hand along Arizona’s side as she searched for another, paying attention to how her abdomen would flex every time she hit a sensitive spot. Touching her like this was easily going to become Callie’s new favourite hobby - Arizona had a ridiculously sexy body and she had always been a sucker for great abs.
Locating another scar, also old but slightly larger than the first, Callie kissed her way down to it. She nuzzled a little deeper into the blonde’s stomach as she went, purely because it felt so incredibly good to finally be this close. Everything about Arizona was intoxicating and they had barely even begun.
“Tell me about this one.” She swiped her tongue along the length of her newest discovery just below the other woman’s ribcage.
A deep shiver rolled through Arizona’s body. “U-uh, it’s…that one’s, uh-” She found it incredibly hard to think with Callie’s warm tongue touching her. It was like it short-circuited something in her brain. “F-field hockey.”
Callie hummed and gently sucked on a patch of skin to the right of it. “What position?”
“Um-” Arizona blinked heavily and arched into Callie’s mouth. “A-attacker. In university. I was pretty good,” she admitted.
Callie grinned and buried her nose into Arizona’s stomach. “Neat.”
“I was no lacrosse star, but I could’ve given you a run for your money,” Arizona mused.
“You still owe me that marathon next year. We can duke it out then.” Callie thought about it and scrunched her forehead. “Or do I owe you the marathon, technically speaking?”
“I’m pretty sure I was the one dragging you kicking and screaming,” Arizona smiled. She dropped her fingers to comb through raven-coloured locks. “Don’t stop. Please.”
Encouraged by the sentiment, Callie kissed the field hockey scar before searching for something new. She caught sight of it as Arizona’s hand continued to stroke the back of her neck.
“What happened here?” Callie caught her wrist and gently rotated it to expose the inside of her forearm. There was a curvy white line a few inches below the elbow that she had never noticed before.
This time Arizona turned a light shade of pink. “You’re going to make fun of me.”
“I am not!” Callie shot back.
“Yes, you are.”
“Arizona, I won’t.”
“Promise?”
Callie hesitated. “I can try.”
Her boyish grin was too cute for Arizona to resist. She let out a long, drawn out sigh, rolling her eyes as she caved in. “I…fell.”
Callie cocked an eyebrow. “You fell? Where? On what?” Met with silence, she nipped at Arizona’s navel. “C’mon, spill.”
Arizona jerked and let out a small gasp. Oh, Callie played dirty. “Over my shoes.”
“So you tripped over your own feet and scraped up your forearm?” Callie looked mildly disappointed that there wasn’t a more juicy story behind it.
“Not exactly.” Arizona chewed on her bottom lip. “I fell while wearing Heelys. At Hopkins, during my residency.”
Callie wore a blank look.
“Heelys? You know, those shoes where the little wheels pop out of the heel and you can skate around on them?”
“You mean the ones little kids zip around the grocery store on, knocking things over and causing general chaos?”
“They make them for adults too,” Arizona shot back, as though that would somehow make her experience seem less ridiculous. “The kids loved them. You should’ve seen their faces when their doctor would roll into the room on wheelie sneaks. It was totally worth it.”
Callie was having a hell of a time suppressing a smile, finding the mental image of her broody girlfriend on wheelie shoes completely obscure. “Aww. So the big, bad Dr. Robbins fell down and went ‘boom’?”
Arizona swatted her shoulder. “No,” she scoffed. “Well…okay, sort of. I was practicing and I wiped out in the on-call room one day, scraping my arm up when I tried to catch myself on the bunk beds. Shut up! It’s not that funny.”
Callie was flat out giggling now, hardly able to believe what an adorable dork her girlfriend was. “I would kill to have seen that,” she teased, pressing another kiss to the resulting injury. “That’s probably my favourite story of all time.”
It wasn’t hard for Arizona to grin despite the embarrassment of such an epic failure. She had always blamed the scar on an attempt to climb a fence when she was a teenager if anybody asked. “Are you done laughing at me now?” she pouted.
“For the time being,” Callie replied, ducking her head to nip at Arizona’s hip bone. The resulting twitch confirmed her suspicions that this was one of the blonde’s ticklish spots.
Arizona closed her eyes and allowed herself to get lost in the feeling. It was getting harder and harder to remember why she had been so afraid of this in the first place. Callie was so gentle and caring that she could never have imagined foreplay feeling this good again.
It wasn’t long before Callie ran out of new places to explore and finally set her eyes on the biggest, most obvious mark on the front of Arizona’s body. She knew full well what a source of pain and self-consciousness it was for her, and even though it ran the risk of setting her off again, she wasn’t going to skirt around it. Every inch of Arizona was beautiful, even those that she probably wouldn’t agree on.
It was sobering to feel a set of lips cover a place that had once brought her nothing but agony. As soon as she felt Callie’s mouth come into contact with it, Arizona couldn’t help but flinch. She didn’t like Callie seeing the reminders of the worst day of her life. The imbedded shrapnel wound still ached some days, usually when she worked out and tweaked something in her abdomen. It wasn’t the worst of the scars on her body, not by a long shot, but it was the most visible one where Callie was currently exploring.
“That was…” Arizona’s voice died midway through her sentence.
“You being brave,” Callie finished for her. She looked up as she delicately pressed her lips to the raised flesh, giving it the treatment it deserved. “Saving someone’s life.” Arizona didn’t look convinced and once again avoided eye contact. It made Callie’s heart ache.
“They’re just freckles with stories, remember?” she murmured, moving her lips in a slow line down the scar, making sure she kissed every inch of it.
“It’s ugly.”
“Actually, it’s kind of hot,” Callie admitted. “It makes you look like a total badass.”
Arizona snorted. “If you say so.” She didn’t sound like she believed a word of it, although it didn’t hurt to know that Callie found her latest edition sexy, even if she couldn’t fathom why.
Callie spent a moment paying proper tribute to one of the things that had brought Arizona into her life. She could never willfully wish for something so horrible to happen to a person she cared about, but at the same time it had brought them together and turned into something more real than all of her past relationships combined. Where they had ended up was all that mattered to her, as long as it was together.
After a minute or so, Callie felt Arizona relax again. Procrastination had always been one of her strong points, but she didn’t want to put off her finale for much longer. Nothing about Arizona’s injuries disgusted her or scared her off, but the potential reaction to physically touching the scar on her back had Callie worried. She wanted to make things easier, not worse. It felt like skipping over that wound would send the wrong message and that was the last thing she wanted to do.
Taking in a deep breath, she dropped her eyes to the tip of the scar beginning on the right side of Arizona’s torso. She knew it wrapped around her back, that it was big and nasty and had probably been incredibly painful at the time. She also knew how self-conscious her girlfriend was about this one above all the rest. More than anything, she wanted to help Arizona realize that it didn’t make her any less beautiful.
Callie switched arms and leaned down to place a comforting kiss on the centre of Arizona’s belly. She wrapped a hand around the contour of her hip and dragged it upward until her fingertips touched the tip of the serpentine mark.
Arizona automatically tensed. “Calliope, please,” she begged in a hoarse whisper. “Don’t.”
Frowning, Callie scooted closer and eased more of her body weight down, hoping the skin-on-skin contact would help keep Arizona calm. “Sweetie, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” Arizona blinked tears from her eyes, refusing to let them fall and ruin what had been a perfect moment up until now. She knew full well that Callie had seen her back during their initial consult, but that didn’t change how much she loathed what certain parts of her body looked like. The flesh wound on her back was ugly and only served to remind her of a past that she was so desperate to forget. It was one of the pieces that kept her from being able to move on whenever she looked in a mirror.
Callie didn’t pull away but she also didn’t go any further for the time being. Instead she continued to run her fingers along the very tip of the scar while her lips resumed their earlier mission of kissing everything within reach. The entire time she kept her mind tuned to Arizona and how she was doing, even as her tongue darted out to run the length of her belly.
Arizona gasped as her muscles hitched in response. She was well aware of what her girlfriend was trying to do and she had to admit that it was kind of working. She tightened a fist in Callie’s hair and lightly scraped her nails against the back of her scalp.
Callie moaned into her stomach, sliding her free hand up and running a thumb along the underside of Arizona’s breast. It had the desired effect as the fingers in her hair gave an urgent tug. That was a much better reaction than trying to escape or push her away.
All she could do was hope that Arizona trusted her enough to help her through this. She carefully replaced the fingers touching the scar with her mouth instead, ducking her head around Arizona’s side, keeping her lips flush against soft skin. The move forced the other woman to lift her arm up and out of the way.
“This one tells me how honorable you are,” she began, shifting her body so she was no longer directly on top of Arizona’s legs. She swiped her other thumb across a hard nipple, just to make her really feel those words.
Arizona released a soft breath and kept her eyes trained on the opposite side of the room. Her heart was pounding so hard that it almost drowned out her thoughts.
Scientifically speaking, the connective tissue that had formed along the fissure of the wound wasn’t able to perceive any feeling. It had little to no nerve sensation within it. Even so, she felt each and every touch of Callie’s hot mouth as it moved along the rigid arc.
There was only so far Callie could reach while Arizona was still lying on her back. She slipped a hand beneath her and urged her to roll over with a gentle tug. At first she was met with resistance, but when she finally coaxed Arizona into looking at her, she saw something soften in her gaze.
Arizona stayed silent as she allowed Callie to roll her onto her side. She felt weight settle on the bed behind her and inhaled sharply when the kisses picked up right where they had left off.
Callie could feel Arizona’s heart beating against her mouth as she continue to follow the trail of raised flesh beneath it. Her tongue darted out to follow up each kiss, until eventually she arrived at the center of Arizona’s spine, where the scar tapered off.
“You’re a survivor.” Callie closed her eyes and rested her forehead against her girlfriend’s back. “And you’re gorgeous, smart, strong, sexy, and a million other incredible things that continue to amaze me every single day. I just wish you could see you like I do.”
Arizona closed her eyes as a range of emotions flooded through her, none of them conducive to forming a verbal response. Callie spent a few minutes back there, intent on memorizing every little contour of her body with an agonizing patience. An arm curled itself around her waist and delicate fingers drew small circles around her navel. For the very first time, Arizona found herself desperately wishing that they would wander lower.
“Callie,” she breathed out, licking her lips and willing her voice to sound stronger. “Please.”
A smile graced Callie’s features as she kissed her way to the nape of Arizona’s neck. She rolled her onto her back again and immediately captured her lips in another slow, passionate kiss.
Continue to 23-B
----
Scar Tissue (Part Two)
Chapter 23-A
Authors: kennedysbitch & livelovelearneg
Beta'd by englishstrawbie
Rating: NC-17 [Depictions of violence, PTSD, Language, Sexual Content]
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer
Scar Tissue [masterpost]
Summary: When Arizona Robbins’ brother dies in Iraq, her life takes off in a completely different direction. Now a highly-rated trauma surgeon with the United States Marine Corps, she spends the three years following his death serving their country overseas - until an insurgent attack leaves her with debilitating injuries. Traveling to Seattle at her father’s request, she falls under the care of orthopedic surgeon Dr. Calliope Torres. Damaged emotionally and physically, Arizona tries to start the healing process with the help of a headstrong woman she never saw coming.
Part Two: Now free from the confines of a hospital bed for the first time
in almost five months, Arizona begins her physical and emotional recovery while
navigating a budding yet rocky relationship with Callie Torres.
Warnings: Depictions of violence, PTSD, Language, Sexual Content
Trailer:
Click to view---
Callie awoke disoriented and confused, soaked in a cold sweat that tangled the blankets around her legs and glued her t-shirt to her chest. The room was pitch black and filled with the sound of her own heavy breathing. It took her a moment to get her bearings and remember why she had woken in the first place.
As she sat up, some of the finer details began to fade away, leaving behind a sense of dread that lodged itself square in the centre of her chest.
It was only a dream. She pinched the bridge of her nose, drilling the reminder into her brain.
Parts of it were beginning to blur but she remembered being alone in the apartment, calling out Arizona’s name and getting only silence in return. Worried about the previous night’s events, she walked into the third bedroom only to find it empty. Not just of Arizona herself, but of all her belongings, the furniture - anything that made the room look like someone had ever lived there. It was empty and bare, and so cold it would have raised goosebumps on her skin if it had been real.
Callie squeezed her eyes shut and tried to chase away the mental slideshow, pressing the heels of her palms into her face as she fell back against the pillow with a groan.
~
The sound of running water attracted her attention from down the hall and, all of a sudden, icicles permeated her veins. Her legs refused to work properly as she stumbled toward the bathroom, struggling to say Arizona’s name, only to find that her voice had disappeared completely. She fell into the doorframe and lifted an arm as heavy as a brick of cement, trying to push it open-
~
Callie jerked awake again, blinking rapidly to try and curb her mind’s desire to finish where it had left off. Her heart pounded in a steady rhythm as a scattering of dark thoughts buzzed around her head, making her feel just the slightest bit nauseous.
She seldom remembered her dreams, good or bad, but there were certain details of this one that refused to leave her alone. She hadn’t seen anything beyond her outstretched hand and the door in front of her, but she knew what was waiting for her behind it. The knowing had been just as bad as seeing it for herself.
Groaning, Callie sat up a second time and swung her legs over the side of the bed. It would be impossible to fall back to sleep with those horrible thoughts swimming around, waiting to pounce on her the moment she closed her eyes.
Right now all she wanted to do was check on her girlfriend, even though she knew it would be inconsiderate to wake her up in the middle of the night. Arizona had much more pressing things to worry about these days than some stupid, baseless thoughts running around Callie’s head unchecked. These were her insecurities, not Arizona’s. There was no reason to think that she could ever really-
Except in her dream, she knew what she would find inside of that bathroom if she looked. She had cried out Arizona’s name and wept for the unbearable loss that began to trickle its way through her, eventually sending her to knees as a wail of despair rose from her lips.
This time Callie was unable to quell her protective instincts and found herself stumbling around the bed and out into the hall, clad in only a t-shirt and her underwear. It was dark and she stubbed her toe on something, ignoring the throb in her foot as she paused just outside of Arizona’s door. She leaned in and listened for signs of life.
Nothing.
Which didn’t mean anything, other than Arizona was sleeping like any normal person would be at this time of night. Callie hadn’t actually checked the time, but she knew it had to be really late. Or possibly early.
She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the cool surface of the door. She was yearning to be near Arizona again; not only because of the dream, but because of the guilt eating away at her from the incident earlier that day. She had been so stupid that she could hardly believe she was allowed to call herself a doctor. Who on earth wouldn’t think twice before subjecting someone with war-related PTSD to simulated violence of the same nature? Seriously, who did that? Certainly not someone with medical training and a brain in their head. Clearly she had been missing the latter after consuming a few too many beers. The guilt was strong enough to make Callie rethink ever drinking again.
Her hand closed around the doorknob and she carefully pushed it open, staring into the blackness beyond. The curtains over the far window prevented any outside light from helping her eyes adjust, and for the longest fifteen seconds of her life, she began to wonder if the room was as empty as it had been in her nightmare.
The outline of a bed and the lump of blankets on top slowly began to take form. Eventually Callie could make out the shape of a person strewn amongst them and she breathed a temporary sigh of relief. Arizona was right where she was supposed to be, sound asleep and completely undisturbed. Any sane person would have backed out and let her be, but Callie couldn’t let go of the need to make sure she was still breathing.
Caught in her own indecisiveness, she stayed there, watching Arizona sleep for a few minutes. She was able to come up with a million different reasons to turn around and go back to bed, and very few logical ones to stay. Just because she was afraid of something happening didn’t mean that it would manifest itself in reality; least of all here, least of all tonight.
But the idea of leaving brought back that tight ball of stress in her stomach, so Callie resigned herself to leaning against the door frame instead. She felt like a bit of a creep and wondered if Arizona would be weirded out if she knew. She just needed a minute before she tried going back to bed.
Arizona was out cold, sprawled on her stomach with the blankets resting midway up her back. She looked peaceful from what Callie could see in the dark; no traces of anguish or nightmares were visible from where she stood. She could only hope that there was starting to be more good nights than bad. Arizona hadn’t talked about any significant nightmares for about a week, although Callie still got the feeling that she kept some of them to herself.
More than anything, she wished that they could trade places. Even if it was just for one day, Callie would have gladly taken on everything Arizona was going through if it allowed her to get some peace and quiet. She hated being so damn useless all the time. Standing by and watching someone she cared about go through flashbacks and sickness was the worst kind of helplessness she had ever felt.
About five minutes passed before the rustling of sheets interrupted her train of thought. She stiffened and prepared to leave before she was discovered, only to have Arizona’s hoarse voice stop her in her tracks.
“Calliope?” Arizona propped herself up, blinking sleep from her eyes as she cast a look over her shoulder at the shadow in the doorway. It might have alarmed her if she hadn’t immediately recognized the familiar stance Callie took when she was deep in thought about something.
Callie cursed inwardly and stepped inside the bedroom, shutting the door so the dim light from the hallway wouldn’t bother the half asleep woman in front of her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Is everything okay?”
Arizona’s sleepy voice was undoubtedly the sexiest thing that Callie had ever heard, but she still felt like a jackass for waking her up in the first place. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Go back to sleep.”
Arizona stifled a big yawn and rolled onto her side. “C’mere.”
Callie padded sheepishly across the room and sat on the edge of the mattress, reaching out to place a hand on the curve of her girlfriend’s hip. “I’m really sorry. I couldn’t sleep and wanted to check on you after everything that happened tonight.”
Arizona shifted again, still tangled beneath the covers, and dropped her head onto the pillow. Every bone in her body was aching with protest at being awake, but something in Callie’s voice kept her from falling back under.
“Why couldn’t you sleep?” she asked, peering through the darkness. She couldn’t imagine Callie showing up at her bedside this time of night without a good reason.
Feeling silly, Callie dropped her eyes, running a hand across the sheet covering Arizona’s belly. “Bad dreams,” she murmured. “It’s nothing, really. Close your eyes.”
From her vantage point, Arizona was able to study Callie’s form in detail. She could make out the tension in her shoulders and the serious lines drawn in her face. It worried her. She, of all people, understood how a vivid dream could screw with your head.
It wasn’t until she heard Callie release a ragged breath that she became really worried. She sat up, brushing a mess of hair away from her face before running a hand down the other woman’s arm. “Sweetie, what is it?”
When Callie finally mustered up the courage to look Arizona in the eye, there were tears blurring her vision. “Promise me you’ll never hurt yourself, okay?” she pleaded, her voice sounding incredibly small.
Taken back, Arizona furrowed her brow. “What?” she asked, at a total loss for words. She didn’t know how to respond to that.
Callie felt like an idiot but she just couldn’t hold it in any longer. For weeks she had been growing more and more concerned for Arizona’s wellbeing, and after the incident at the wharf, when she finally realized just how bad her girlfriend’s PTSD really was, those feelings had stared to spill over into her conscious, every day thoughts. She had just been too terrified to admit it out loud until now.
Callie was absolutely terrified that she wouldn’t be able to help Arizona; that if things got bad enough - if the nightmares and the flashbacks and the survivor’s guilt plagued her until she was too tired to fight anymore - she might lose herself to that kind of pain.
It happened to the best of people. Stress and depression could do terrible things to a person. It certainly wasn’t the first time she had heard of a returning veteran unable to cope with the difficulties of being back in a civilian capacity, and many of them hadn’t suffered the severe injuries that her girlfriend had.
The mere thought of Arizona hurting herself shook Callie to her very core, whether the fear was unfounded or not. She would never forgive herself for staying silent and letting something horrible happen if she could have prevented it by speaking up.
“I know things can get bad for you sometimes,” Callie continued as she struggled to hold it together. “Please, please promise me that you won’t ever let it get that far. Please.”
Warmth rolled down Callie’s cheeks and she knew the tears had won out. Crying in front of other people wasn’t her thing and she felt ridiculous for turning into a blubbering moron at three in the morning, especially when her girlfriend clearly needed some sleep.
Arizona could see how distressed Callie was and immediately jumped in to comfort her. “Never,” she replied, pulling her into a tight embrace. She could feel Callie’s whole body trembling in her arms. “God, no. I would never do that to myself. Or to you. I promise.”
Callie squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face in the crook of Arizona’s neck, wrapping both arms around her torso. She felt relieved just hearing it said out loud - weeks of trying not to think about the worst case scenario had done her conscience no good.
Arizona didn’t know what else to say, though it didn’t stop her from holding Callie tightly and running a soothing hand up and down her back. They sat in silence while she released all of the pent-up emotions she had been holding in for far too long. Arizona kissed the shell of her ear and whispered soothing words until she felt the trembling start to slow.
Callie didn’t mind the quiet. Her outburst had both surprised and repulsed her, not to mention it had drained her remaining energy sources. She burrowed her nose into Arizona’s skin and breathed deeply, feeling some of the tension release as slender fingers trailed up the back of her neck.
“Shh,” Arizona murmured. “It was just a bad dream. I’m right here with you and I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
“Ugh, I’m sorry,” Callie gushed as she reluctantly pulled back from the embrace, sniffling loudly. “God, this is so disgusting - ew, now you’re all wet.” She made a face and tugged on Arizona’s t-shirt, rubbing at the tear stains feebly.
The endearing commentary brought a smile to Arizona’s face. “Hey, it’s okay,” she whispered, swiping each thumb across a tear-stained cheek. “You have nothing to be sorry for, so stop apologizing.”
“It was just a stupid dream,” Callie said weakly. “I should’ve let you sleep.”
“Dreams can be cruel,” Arizona pointed out as she pulled Callie into a gentle kiss. “This? Much more real, much more fun,” she added before repeating the action.
Callie melted into the connection she was craving, sliding her fingers up to bury themselves in Arizona’s hair. It felt so familiar that it was suddenly hard to feel sad or afraid of anything.
Only when Arizona felt Callie relax did she finally break the kiss, resting their foreheads together. The comfort of the moment was broken when a residual tear slid down Callie’s left cheek, which Arizona quickly brushed away with a single stroke of her thumb.
“Can you tell me what happened?” she asked patiently, waiting for Callie to gather her thoughts.
Callie licked her lips. “I came home and found you - I almost found you-” She couldn’t say it out loud. “- a-and then I woke up and couldn’t bear the thought of…”
Arizona’s heart ached. Even without voicing it, she understood the meaning.
Callie kept her forehead pressed firmly against Arizona’s. She was positive that the physical contact was the only thing keeping her glued together right now. She wasn’t exactly known as a pillar of stability when she was deliriously tired, even before she factored in the emotional stress of the last few weeks and a heavy consumption of alcohol earlier in the evening.
“I can’t lose you,” she stated, no longer worried about her confession crossing any lines drawn between them. “You’re a part of me now, and I…I can’t lose you. Especially not like that.”
A sad smile tugged at the corner of Arizona’s mouth. “I know the feeling,” she replied, dipping her head to cover Callie’s lips with her own.
Even though the kiss was slow, it had enough power to banish the remaining tension from Callie’s body. She slumped forward with a sigh of relief, reveling in the sweet taste of Arizona’s lips against her own. There was no other feeling like it.
Once things had calmed down, Arizona carefully broke away again. “I promise you that hurting myself is the furthest thing from my mind,” she said honestly. “You have nothing to worry about. And if for some reason it ever gets so bad that I’m starting to waver, I’ll come to you first. Okay?”
“Okay,” Callie echoed weakly. Although it felt good to finally voice her deepest fear, it was utterly exhausting at this hour of the morning.
When she was sure that the tears had stopped, Arizona scooted back and gestured for Callie to follow. “Crawl in.”
Even in the darkness, Callie knew she was blushing. “No, really, I’m okay. You don’t need a giant blubbering bump interrupting your sleeping patterns.”
Arizona cocked an eyebrow. “I happen to like that giant blubbering ‘bump’ you just insulted, so watch it, lady.”
Callie cracked a smile, hesitant to cross more pre-set boundaries, even if she was relieved at the offer. “Are you sure?”
Arizona peeled back the covers. “C’mere,” she said firmly, patting the mattress beside her.
That was all the reassurance Callie needed. She pulled her legs up and crawled in, letting Arizona guide her back until they were spooning in the center of the bed.
Arizona wrapped an arm around her waist and gave her a firm squeeze. “You’re comfy,” she murmured as Callie wiggled her butt back into her pelvis.
“I forgot I gave you the good sheets,” Callie commented, earning a playful pinch in the side.
“Gee, that’s romantic.”
“Sorry.” She peered over her shoulder, feeling a thousand times better than she had only moments before. “How about ‘you smell good’. Is that better?”
“Much.” Arizona snickered and pressed her lips to her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Are we done exchanging compliments now? You’re a grumpy bear in the morning when you don’t get enough sleep.”
“Somehow I don’t think that will be a problem,” Callie mused as she settled into the pillow. She was utterly exhausted and the relief that accompanied such a huge release of emotion would have her back to sleep in no time.
“Mm, good,” Arizona sighed, already halfway there herself.
Callie smiled at the growing sense of familiarity that having Arizona pressed against her brought. She was definitely looking forward to the day when it would become a regular thing with them.
Behind her, Arizona had no objections of her own, as a few breaths later she was snoring softly into Callie’s ear.
***
The faintest bit of light began to filter around the bedroom curtains only two hours after they fell asleep. When Arizona awoke, the room was glowing with a pre-dawn grey that signaled rainy skies ahead. It illuminated the extra body in her bed and immediately brought a smile to her face.
The fact that Callie had stayed meant a lot to her. She was just starting to get used to waking up together and knew they would have to amend those pesky rules one of these days so the trend could continue.
She inched closer until their noses were nearly touching on the pillow. Their legs were entwined beneath the covers, and she couldn’t resist the urge to run her foot along the smoothness of her girlfriend’s calf, waiting for signs of life to appear.
For once Arizona’s head was remarkably silent. No nightmares plagued her mind, no dreams of any kind lingered to take away her sense of safety. She was vaguely aware of the morning songbirds announcing their arrival outside, even as droplets of rain began to peck at the window. Somehow it all seemed to fit with her mood; she would be totally content if they simply lay in bed all day and listened to the rain together.
All of this was in stark contrast to how she felt in the bathroom the night before. At that time, she had wanted to be alone so she could swallow a double dosage of pills and kill any nightmares before they could get to her. She wanted to make a cave out of her blankets and hibernate for the next century until the impending storm had passed. This, however, was turning into a much better solution if she did say so herself.
Having Callie in bed next to her was far from the ideal ‘roommate’ situation they had tried to cultivate early on, but then Callie was quickly becoming Arizona’s lone source of solace these days. The connection between them had grown to where she truly believed it would take more than a stupid quarrel about their living arrangements to ruin the relationship before it had a chance to get off the ground. In her eyes, they were already soaring through the air, miles ahead of where they had been even a month before.
Rather than move away and put a safer distance between them, Arizona gave in to the urge for more of her body to connect with Callie’s, and for once she didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty about it.
Callie awoke to a trail of sneaky fingers pushing themselves beneath the hem of her t-shirt, sending a tickle of warmth up from her navel to her chest. The hands were soft as a feather and she shivered at the touch as she finally opened her eyes.
Arizona didn’t stop. The lump in her throat grew when she recognized an arousal that matched her own in the brown eyes staring back at her from across the pillow. She traced small patterns along the contour of Callie’s stomach, over her hip, and around to the small of her back.
As if sensing the delicacy of the moment, Callie inched her head forward until their lips were almost touching. She didn’t complete the action, instead giving Arizona the option to pull away.
She didn’t take it. Arizona pressed her lips into Callie’s and splayed her fingers around her hip. The kiss slowly deepened and she pulled at the base of Callie’s t-shirt, dragging the material up her side with agonizing care and exposing an alluring amount of skin.
There were no remnants of her nightmare in Callie’s mind as she reacted to Arizona’s silent question on instinct. It was nearly impossible to pull away from the kiss, but she did so in order to for the garment to be removed completely. As soon as it was free, Arizona dropped it behind the pillows and allowed her eyes to wander.
Callie was more stunning than she could have ever imagined. Even the brief glimpse she’d had on her first day here didn’t measure up to the image before her now. Every inch of Callie’s torso looked radiant and smooth, and the dark hue of her skin left Arizona’s mouth watering for a taste. She was curvy and voluptuous in all the right places, the perfect essence of a woman, and Arizona couldn’t possibly have desired her more than she did in that moment. All of this was before she even had a chance to properly admire Callie’s breasts - they added a whole new dimension to the word ‘hot’.
It wasn’t until she caught a glimpse of amusement tugging at her girlfriend’s mouth that she realized she had been caught staring. A blush coloured her cheeks and she refocused on the mischievous smirk beaming her way.
“Good morning to you, too,” Callie husked with a sparkle in her eye.
With her own smile beginning to form, Arizona recaptured her lips in a heated kiss that said more than she ever could with words.
It wasn’t hard for Callie to sense the underlying uncertainty to the movements, despite Arizona’s apparent enthusiasm. For all of the pleasure Callie took from the delicate touch along her side, there were other places she was craving the contact even more. Her left hand came up and guided Arizona’s palm to cup an exposed breast, smirking at the sharp intake of air against her lips.
Arizona was no stranger to sex, least of all to second base - she had been batting doubles since she was sixteen years old. But right now she felt like a newborn with poor motor skills and the inability to even pretend that she was remotely suave and sexy. Whether it was the length of time that had passed since her last sexual encounter, or the woman that she was currently with, she wasn’t sure. Probably both. Either way, she was suddenly nervous as hell and found herself frozen in place - with her hand still on Callie’s boob.
She’d had better moments.
Callie seemed to find Arizona’s sudden brain shock rather amusing. Instead of allowing the experience to come to an early end, she pulled away from the kiss and waited for darkening blue eyes to meet her own. She flashed Arizona a knowing smile before pushing the covers away and rolling onto her back.
Taking the hint, Arizona moved on top of Callie, her cotton t-shirt rubbing against the woman’s bare chest and drawing a small gasp from below. The noise was small but it was enough to spark some heat in Arizona’s veins.
Wanting to hear more, she stole a brief kiss before sliding down to attach her lips to Callie’s exposed stomach. The move was bolder than either of them had expected and it brought with it a renewed sense of confidence in Arizona. Lying on top of a half naked woman was not an experience she was about to pass up just because she was a little rusty in the sack.
This time it was Callie’s mind that stalled and she lay there in silence while Arizona’s lips and tongue made strategic rounds of one of the more sensitive areas of her body. Her stomach hitched with each feather-light touch against it and her fingers longed to dig themselves into the blonde curls tickling her sides. She just didn’t want to push things too hard, too soon. Instead she gripped the bed sheets in one hand and allowed the other to drift across Arizona’s shoulder, hungry for the touch of skin-on-skin.
Arizona was quickly realizing that this was the perfect way to figure out what elicited the best reactions from her girlfriend. She took her time in exploring the smooth expanse of skin below her, taking note of how Callie reacted to each spot and storing the knowledge in the back of her mind for future use.
The exploration allowed her to grow bolder as she moved a hand up to cover one of Callie’s breasts, circling her thumb around an already stiffening nipple. She couldn’t resist just the slightest squeeze, sliding her wrist down until she was cupping the warm mound in her palm.
Groaning in response, Callie noticed a switch in Arizona’s movements that signaled the easing of some tension. She felt a smirk against her navel, then a tongue dart out to take a playful swipe along the bottom of her breast.
A muffled groan reached Arizona’s ears, providing her with a much-needed confidence boost. Her lips closed around an erect nipple, bathing it with slow, languid strokes of her tongue. The lithe form beneath her shivered with pleasure.
“You are so sexy,” Arizona murmured as her mouth switched sides, gently sucking on the opposite bud, then broke away to pepper the center of Callie’s chest with kisses.
“Mmph,” Callie groaned in response, her eyelids drooping dangerously low. Loose curls fell around Arizona’s shoulders and were incessantly tickling her skin, slowly chipping away at her self-control. She licked her lips and prayed for the patience that she could feel rapidly declining. She needed to taste Arizona - now.
“C’mere,” she urged, tangling her fingers into blonde hair and tugging until their lips crashed together again.
Arizona grunted in surprise and braced her hands on either side of Callie’s body. It took her a moment to catch up with the sudden shift in pace, but when she did, she gave as good as she got, pressing into the woman below her and pushing forward into her mouth.
Callie felt as though an intense heat had been building inside of her for these last few months and she was finally being granted a release for it. She was still wary about forcing Arizona over the edge of her comfort zone, but then again, the hands roaming her body told an entirely different story.
When she was sure that they were on the same page, her mind began to drift toward a whole new set of problems - there were still way too many clothes involved in this equation.
Tearing her lips away with a gasp, she barely managed to pant out a quick “Arizona-” before the blonde closed the gap again, abruptly cutting her off. The tongue thrust into her mouth took away her speech and she melted back into the kiss, momentarily forgetting what she was supposed to say.
Their stupid rules could suck it. This was what she had been waiting for and she would be damned if she ruined it by asking too many questions.
The next chance Callie got to speak was when Arizona broke away to catch her breath. She smiled breathlessly and brushed a thumb along Arizona’s bottom lip, whimpering when the other woman gently nibbled on the tip. She wanted so badly to roll over and take control, but she was still determined to let Arizona set the pace. As horny as she was, her partner’s comfort level came first. She remembered all too well what happened the first time they had tried something like this.
Callie looked into blue eyes and dropped both hands to the remaining t-shirt between them. Rather than take it off herself, she simply pushed her fingers beneath the hem and spread them over the naked curve of Arizona’s waist. She was ever watchful for the slightest hint of regression, ready to retract at a moment’s notice.
Arizona’s breath caught in her throat and all of her newly gained confidence went out the window. There was no doubt that it good it felt to have Callie’s hands on her body, she was just suddenly very aware that it meant Callie’s hands were on her body - a body that she was less than okay with even on the best of days.
The arms on either side of her went rigidly still and gave Callie a heads up that Arizona was on edge. She didn’t change a thing, instead choosing to trace her thumbs over the contour of Arizona’s hip bone, getting her used to the sensation of being touched so intimately again, after such a long time. Callie kept her entire focus on her girlfriend, taking in every range of emotion as it flickered across her face, watching for any real signs of distress.
Arizona’s lips parted and the softest of breaths escaped. The touch sent a shiver up the center of her back and raised goosebumps along her skin. It was as though she, too, was waiting to find out what her reaction to all of this would be. She had no idea what unpleasant surprises were waiting to be unleashed from the darkest corners of her psyche.
Her first instinct was to retreat and it took everything she had not to let it get the better of her. She reminded herself of who she was with, how much she trusted Callie, and how good it felt to be this close to someone again. It was scary, yes, but she wasn’t in any real danger. Callie always took such good care of her. She couldn’t imagine being with anyone else this way.
It was only when Callie took a chance and pushed her hands further up her body that Arizona finally allowed her eyelids to drift closed.
Callie worked her thumbs in small circles along Arizona’s stomach, smiling when it elicited another shiver of delight. Gentle fingers pressed into the blonde’s ribcage and took their time stroking the skin beneath their tips.
She had bypassed Arizona’s abdominal scar at first in order to take things slow, but as Arizona gradually remembered how to breathe again, Callie’s left hand dropped down and her thumb carefully trailed along the small ridge beneath it. Arizona jerked reflexively, and although Callie slowed, she didn’t pull away. She looked up into the fearful eyes above her own and just repeated the motion, slower and more delicate this time, making sure her thumb followed the four inch scar from beginning to end.
Arizona bit down on her bottom lip as her body gave another involuntary quiver. She looked away, ashamed to feel heat flushing her cheeks.
“Arizona, look at me,” Callie spoke quietly, waiting for those familiar blue eyes to meet her own. “You are so beautiful.”
Arizona swallowed thickly and tried to let Callie’s words calm her nerves. She felt butterflies in her stomach, but those butterflies were fighting for space alongside the ball of molten rock that had gotten there first. Right now, the rock was winning.
Or at least it was, until Callie flattened a palm against her stomach and slowly, methodically smoothed it upwards, moving back and forth in a sensual caress. Something that sounded like a wheeze squeaked out of Arizona’s throat as those butterflies erupted in full force.
It wasn’t lost on Callie that Arizona appeared to like the move, judging by the way her eyes rolled back into her head. She took a mental note of it and flashed her a warm smile as she repeated the motion several times, enjoying what it felt like to finally be touching her this way. Even though she couldn’t see what she was running her hands over, Callie was positive that Arizona was the most beautiful person she had ever been with - male or female.
Arizona knew where this was leading and it took a lot of effort for her not to wig out again. She was in control of her emotions this time and she would be damned if yet another psychotic episode of fear ruined the experience for both of them. She wanted this, she was sure of it. One look at a half naked Calliope and the old Arizona would have been stripping down and strutting her stuff by now. She just wasn’t used to feeling so vulnerable during sex.
All it took was another reminder of how much she trusted Callie. To her this was so much more than the simple act of sleeping together, and the delicacy behind each of the brunette’s movements proved that she was feeling the same. Besides, Arizona was such a sucker for that perfect smile, it would be impossible for her to say no.
The part of her that was waiting for Callie to take control and remove the first article of clothing on her behalf quickly realized that it was not going to happen. Callie was looking at her with all of the patience and love in the world, and Arizona knew it had to be her own choice this time around.
When she was hit with the realization that it was up to her to take the next step, Arizona didn’t want to lose her nerve. She forced her arms into action and pushed until she was sitting up and straddling Callie’s waist. The move dislodged the hand doing wonderful things to her stomach, and she was thankful when Callie simply moved them both to rest on either side of her hips. The contact helped her stay grounded.
Arizona slowly dragged her gaze over her girlfriend’s exposed form and marveled at the ease with which she lay there in confidence. Callie didn’t have a thing to be ashamed about and Arizona envied her for that.
It was that thought alone, how she longed to show as much courage as her partner, that finally brought Arizona’s hands to the base of her t-shirt. She released a short breath before pulling it up and over her head in one swift movement. Maybe it wasn’t the slow, sexy reveal that she might have toyed with in the past, but any slower and it would have glued itself to her torso on a permanent basis.
As soon as she let the material drop next to them on the bed, she felt cold and exposed, open, uncomfortable. A self-conscious blush flooded her cheeks and she refused to make eye contact with the woman below her.
Callie’s breath was taken away the moment Arizona’s t-shirt left her body. For the life of her, she could not figure out why such a stunning creature would desperately try to hide herself from the world. Arizona was beautiful, there was no other word for it. While the injuries and subsequent time in hospital had left her underweight upon her release, the last few months had seen her return to a much healthier form. Her creamy white skin was dotted with freckles along her shoulders and chest, instantly enticing Callie’s lips to make a thorough investigation of them up close and personal sometime very soon.
At the risk of being disrespectful, she was unable to keep her eyes from drifting down to Arizona’s breasts. They too were beautiful and full, and housed distinctly tight nipples that led Callie to believe she was enjoying their little make out session on some level, hopefully one that outweighed her insecurities.
In all honesty, the scars on her body were the last thing Callie even noticed.
When she was finally able to tear her eyes away and realize that Arizona had turned to hide from her, her heart broke into a million pieces. “Honey, look at me,” Callie urged, replacing her hands in their earlier position. She trailed them along Arizona’s bare sides, feeling another quake travel through her.
“You take my breath away,” she stated. “You’re perfect.”
The first sign of life from Arizona was a small, self-deprecating laugh. Still, she risked a glance at her partner and managed a tentative smile. It would have been cute if it hadn’t been so sad.
That just wouldn’t do. Determined to prove to Arizona how gorgeous she was, Callie gave her waist a firm squeeze. “C’mere. Lie down.”
Arizona glanced around the room as though she were nervous about an audience. “Callie…”
“No, lie down. Please.” Callie tugged gently and encouragingly, until Arizona relaxed from her statue-like position and allowed herself to be guided onto the bed. They switched places as Arizona settled onto her back and Callie very carefully shifted on top of her. She was mindful not to put too much weight down, not wanting Arizona to feel like she was trapped.
On the contrary, Arizona actually felt better like this. Callie’s body was warm and sleek against her own, and she provided the sense of safety that Arizona had been relying on heavily for the last couple of weeks. She breathed in and released a deep sigh, feeling some of her jitters slowly begin to ebb away.
Callie had a specific plan in mind, but first she wanted her girlfriend to be comfortable with it. She lifted a hand and brushed an errant strand of hair away from Arizona’s forehead, then lowered herself into another kiss.
Again it was slow, calculated, purposeful. Arizona parted her lips and granted Callie’s tongue entry, meeting her halfway. She closed her eyes and for a moment all she was concerned with was the kiss and how to make it last forever. If this was Callie’s method of distraction, it was definitely working.
Callie knew she was on the right track when she heard Arizona’s throaty moan as she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. The prone form below her eased up and she swept a hand along Arizona’s side as they kissed, exploring her flawless curves and daring to graze the swell of her breast with a swipe of her thumb.
Just when Arizona thought Callie was going to take the opportunity to feel her up, the kisses moved away from her mouth and blazed a new trail down the side of her neck, over her collarbone, and down to the valley between her breasts. She actually felt frustrated when Callie moved her hand away from them entirely.
As much as her partner’s assets were begging to be worshipped, Callie forced her mind to stay on task, pausing to hover over her stomach. She shifted her weight onto her left elbow, freeing up her right hand, and sprawled her body across Arizona’s legs.
Arizona lifted her eyes to the ceiling, willing the surge of vulnerability that came over her to pass. Callie seemed content to explore her stomach in silence, pressing her lips to the occasional patch of skin as the urge came to her. It was driving Arizona mad - she had never been so scared out of her mind and turned on all at the same time.
When she finally spotted what she was looking for, Callie’s lips curled up into a light smile. She dipped her head to press a soft kiss beneath Arizona’s left breast where a faint, barely visible scar had caught her eye.
“Hm,” she drawled. “This one says to me…‘my brother dared me to climb a tree and jump into the sandbox’.”
Confused, Arizona scrunched her forehead and looked down to see what she was talking about. Callie sent her an impish grin and trailed a finger back and forth along the tiny blemish, waiting patiently for more information.
She smiled. “Not quite. I fell off my bike and rolled down a steep hill, ass over handlebars. But Tim was definitely there. He laughed pretty hard.”
“I’m pretty sure I would have laughed at you, too.”
Arizona giggled, flashing Callie her dimples for the first time. “I bet you would have. I nearly punctured myself on a tree branch. It hurt like hell.”
“Ouch,” Callie grimaced. “For the record, I’m glad you didn’t skewer yourself.”
“Me too. My surgeon wouldn’t have been nearly as hot as you.”
Laughing, Callie placed one last kiss on the mark and rubbed a hand along Arizona’s side as she searched for another, paying attention to how her abdomen would flex every time she hit a sensitive spot. Touching her like this was easily going to become Callie’s new favourite hobby - Arizona had a ridiculously sexy body and she had always been a sucker for great abs.
Locating another scar, also old but slightly larger than the first, Callie kissed her way down to it. She nuzzled a little deeper into the blonde’s stomach as she went, purely because it felt so incredibly good to finally be this close. Everything about Arizona was intoxicating and they had barely even begun.
“Tell me about this one.” She swiped her tongue along the length of her newest discovery just below the other woman’s ribcage.
A deep shiver rolled through Arizona’s body. “U-uh, it’s…that one’s, uh-” She found it incredibly hard to think with Callie’s warm tongue touching her. It was like it short-circuited something in her brain. “F-field hockey.”
Callie hummed and gently sucked on a patch of skin to the right of it. “What position?”
“Um-” Arizona blinked heavily and arched into Callie’s mouth. “A-attacker. In university. I was pretty good,” she admitted.
Callie grinned and buried her nose into Arizona’s stomach. “Neat.”
“I was no lacrosse star, but I could’ve given you a run for your money,” Arizona mused.
“You still owe me that marathon next year. We can duke it out then.” Callie thought about it and scrunched her forehead. “Or do I owe you the marathon, technically speaking?”
“I’m pretty sure I was the one dragging you kicking and screaming,” Arizona smiled. She dropped her fingers to comb through raven-coloured locks. “Don’t stop. Please.”
Encouraged by the sentiment, Callie kissed the field hockey scar before searching for something new. She caught sight of it as Arizona’s hand continued to stroke the back of her neck.
“What happened here?” Callie caught her wrist and gently rotated it to expose the inside of her forearm. There was a curvy white line a few inches below the elbow that she had never noticed before.
This time Arizona turned a light shade of pink. “You’re going to make fun of me.”
“I am not!” Callie shot back.
“Yes, you are.”
“Arizona, I won’t.”
“Promise?”
Callie hesitated. “I can try.”
Her boyish grin was too cute for Arizona to resist. She let out a long, drawn out sigh, rolling her eyes as she caved in. “I…fell.”
Callie cocked an eyebrow. “You fell? Where? On what?” Met with silence, she nipped at Arizona’s navel. “C’mon, spill.”
Arizona jerked and let out a small gasp. Oh, Callie played dirty. “Over my shoes.”
“So you tripped over your own feet and scraped up your forearm?” Callie looked mildly disappointed that there wasn’t a more juicy story behind it.
“Not exactly.” Arizona chewed on her bottom lip. “I fell while wearing Heelys. At Hopkins, during my residency.”
Callie wore a blank look.
“Heelys? You know, those shoes where the little wheels pop out of the heel and you can skate around on them?”
“You mean the ones little kids zip around the grocery store on, knocking things over and causing general chaos?”
“They make them for adults too,” Arizona shot back, as though that would somehow make her experience seem less ridiculous. “The kids loved them. You should’ve seen their faces when their doctor would roll into the room on wheelie sneaks. It was totally worth it.”
Callie was having a hell of a time suppressing a smile, finding the mental image of her broody girlfriend on wheelie shoes completely obscure. “Aww. So the big, bad Dr. Robbins fell down and went ‘boom’?”
Arizona swatted her shoulder. “No,” she scoffed. “Well…okay, sort of. I was practicing and I wiped out in the on-call room one day, scraping my arm up when I tried to catch myself on the bunk beds. Shut up! It’s not that funny.”
Callie was flat out giggling now, hardly able to believe what an adorable dork her girlfriend was. “I would kill to have seen that,” she teased, pressing another kiss to the resulting injury. “That’s probably my favourite story of all time.”
It wasn’t hard for Arizona to grin despite the embarrassment of such an epic failure. She had always blamed the scar on an attempt to climb a fence when she was a teenager if anybody asked. “Are you done laughing at me now?” she pouted.
“For the time being,” Callie replied, ducking her head to nip at Arizona’s hip bone. The resulting twitch confirmed her suspicions that this was one of the blonde’s ticklish spots.
Arizona closed her eyes and allowed herself to get lost in the feeling. It was getting harder and harder to remember why she had been so afraid of this in the first place. Callie was so gentle and caring that she could never have imagined foreplay feeling this good again.
It wasn’t long before Callie ran out of new places to explore and finally set her eyes on the biggest, most obvious mark on the front of Arizona’s body. She knew full well what a source of pain and self-consciousness it was for her, and even though it ran the risk of setting her off again, she wasn’t going to skirt around it. Every inch of Arizona was beautiful, even those that she probably wouldn’t agree on.
It was sobering to feel a set of lips cover a place that had once brought her nothing but agony. As soon as she felt Callie’s mouth come into contact with it, Arizona couldn’t help but flinch. She didn’t like Callie seeing the reminders of the worst day of her life. The imbedded shrapnel wound still ached some days, usually when she worked out and tweaked something in her abdomen. It wasn’t the worst of the scars on her body, not by a long shot, but it was the most visible one where Callie was currently exploring.
“That was…” Arizona’s voice died midway through her sentence.
“You being brave,” Callie finished for her. She looked up as she delicately pressed her lips to the raised flesh, giving it the treatment it deserved. “Saving someone’s life.” Arizona didn’t look convinced and once again avoided eye contact. It made Callie’s heart ache.
“They’re just freckles with stories, remember?” she murmured, moving her lips in a slow line down the scar, making sure she kissed every inch of it.
“It’s ugly.”
“Actually, it’s kind of hot,” Callie admitted. “It makes you look like a total badass.”
Arizona snorted. “If you say so.” She didn’t sound like she believed a word of it, although it didn’t hurt to know that Callie found her latest edition sexy, even if she couldn’t fathom why.
Callie spent a moment paying proper tribute to one of the things that had brought Arizona into her life. She could never willfully wish for something so horrible to happen to a person she cared about, but at the same time it had brought them together and turned into something more real than all of her past relationships combined. Where they had ended up was all that mattered to her, as long as it was together.
After a minute or so, Callie felt Arizona relax again. Procrastination had always been one of her strong points, but she didn’t want to put off her finale for much longer. Nothing about Arizona’s injuries disgusted her or scared her off, but the potential reaction to physically touching the scar on her back had Callie worried. She wanted to make things easier, not worse. It felt like skipping over that wound would send the wrong message and that was the last thing she wanted to do.
Taking in a deep breath, she dropped her eyes to the tip of the scar beginning on the right side of Arizona’s torso. She knew it wrapped around her back, that it was big and nasty and had probably been incredibly painful at the time. She also knew how self-conscious her girlfriend was about this one above all the rest. More than anything, she wanted to help Arizona realize that it didn’t make her any less beautiful.
Callie switched arms and leaned down to place a comforting kiss on the centre of Arizona’s belly. She wrapped a hand around the contour of her hip and dragged it upward until her fingertips touched the tip of the serpentine mark.
Arizona automatically tensed. “Calliope, please,” she begged in a hoarse whisper. “Don’t.”
Frowning, Callie scooted closer and eased more of her body weight down, hoping the skin-on-skin contact would help keep Arizona calm. “Sweetie, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” Arizona blinked tears from her eyes, refusing to let them fall and ruin what had been a perfect moment up until now. She knew full well that Callie had seen her back during their initial consult, but that didn’t change how much she loathed what certain parts of her body looked like. The flesh wound on her back was ugly and only served to remind her of a past that she was so desperate to forget. It was one of the pieces that kept her from being able to move on whenever she looked in a mirror.
Callie didn’t pull away but she also didn’t go any further for the time being. Instead she continued to run her fingers along the very tip of the scar while her lips resumed their earlier mission of kissing everything within reach. The entire time she kept her mind tuned to Arizona and how she was doing, even as her tongue darted out to run the length of her belly.
Arizona gasped as her muscles hitched in response. She was well aware of what her girlfriend was trying to do and she had to admit that it was kind of working. She tightened a fist in Callie’s hair and lightly scraped her nails against the back of her scalp.
Callie moaned into her stomach, sliding her free hand up and running a thumb along the underside of Arizona’s breast. It had the desired effect as the fingers in her hair gave an urgent tug. That was a much better reaction than trying to escape or push her away.
All she could do was hope that Arizona trusted her enough to help her through this. She carefully replaced the fingers touching the scar with her mouth instead, ducking her head around Arizona’s side, keeping her lips flush against soft skin. The move forced the other woman to lift her arm up and out of the way.
“This one tells me how honorable you are,” she began, shifting her body so she was no longer directly on top of Arizona’s legs. She swiped her other thumb across a hard nipple, just to make her really feel those words.
Arizona released a soft breath and kept her eyes trained on the opposite side of the room. Her heart was pounding so hard that it almost drowned out her thoughts.
Scientifically speaking, the connective tissue that had formed along the fissure of the wound wasn’t able to perceive any feeling. It had little to no nerve sensation within it. Even so, she felt each and every touch of Callie’s hot mouth as it moved along the rigid arc.
There was only so far Callie could reach while Arizona was still lying on her back. She slipped a hand beneath her and urged her to roll over with a gentle tug. At first she was met with resistance, but when she finally coaxed Arizona into looking at her, she saw something soften in her gaze.
Arizona stayed silent as she allowed Callie to roll her onto her side. She felt weight settle on the bed behind her and inhaled sharply when the kisses picked up right where they had left off.
Callie could feel Arizona’s heart beating against her mouth as she continue to follow the trail of raised flesh beneath it. Her tongue darted out to follow up each kiss, until eventually she arrived at the center of Arizona’s spine, where the scar tapered off.
“You’re a survivor.” Callie closed her eyes and rested her forehead against her girlfriend’s back. “And you’re gorgeous, smart, strong, sexy, and a million other incredible things that continue to amaze me every single day. I just wish you could see you like I do.”
Arizona closed her eyes as a range of emotions flooded through her, none of them conducive to forming a verbal response. Callie spent a few minutes back there, intent on memorizing every little contour of her body with an agonizing patience. An arm curled itself around her waist and delicate fingers drew small circles around her navel. For the very first time, Arizona found herself desperately wishing that they would wander lower.
“Callie,” she breathed out, licking her lips and willing her voice to sound stronger. “Please.”
A smile graced Callie’s features as she kissed her way to the nape of Arizona’s neck. She rolled her onto her back again and immediately captured her lips in another slow, passionate kiss.
Continue to 23-B
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