Scar Tissue (Part Two) -- Chapter 14-B
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Scar Tissue (Part Two)
Chapter 14-B
Authors: kennedysbitch & livelovelearneg
Beta'd by englishstrawbie
Rating: NC-17 [Depictions of violence, PTSD, Language, Sexual Content]
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer
Scar Tissue [masterpost]
Summary: When Arizona Robbins’ brother dies in Iraq, her life takes off in a completely different direction. Now a highly-rated trauma surgeon with the United States Marine Corps, she spends the three years following his death serving their country overseas - until an insurgent attack leaves her with debilitating injuries. Traveling to Seattle at her father’s request, she falls under the care of orthopedic surgeon Dr. Calliope Torres. Damaged emotionally and physically, Arizona tries to start the healing process with the help of a headstrong woman she never saw coming.
Part Two: Now free from the confines of a hospital bed for the first time
in almost five months, Arizona begins her physical and emotional recovery while
navigating a budding yet rocky relationship with Callie Torres.
Warnings: Depictions of violence, PTSD, Language, Sexual Content
Trailer:
A/N: This was definitely supposed to be posted last Thursday. Oops. New job, lots of training = tired brain that doesn't want to edit fic. Sorry! Chapter 15 should still be up on Monday. (Split chapters like 14 A & B will usually go up in the same week, if time permits.)
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As Callie made her way down the long corridor, it took all of her concentration just to walk in a straight line.
Was that really goodbye? Would it really be the last time she ever saw Arizona?
Her heart was pounding and a mixture of emotions swirled inside her head, but she didn’t have much time to ponder the answers. The shrill beeping of her pager drew her attention, wielding an urgent 9-1-1 message to the ER downstairs.
The call provided a much need distraction for most of the afternoon. While she was exhausted and needed to sleep, she knew that the second she lay down and thought about what happened, she would probably cry. She didn’t want to cry over Arizona anymore, it was too tiring and she didn’t have it in her. So instead she said a quiet ‘thank you’ to the surgical Gods and jogged towards the elevator, ready for action.
The letter remained inside her lab coat pocket, unread and completely forgotten.
***
The x-rays didn’t take long. Arizona was in and out in thirty minutes, and now she found herself at a loss for what to do next. The whole afternoon she’d been trying to convince herself that she could prove to Callie how sorry she was, and that their potential relationship deserved another chance, but things hadn’t exactly gone according to plan. Callie was rightfully hurt and upset, but she was giving no indication that she would ever feel otherwise. All Arizona had was her faith in her letter, hoping against hope that Callie would choose to read it instead of tossing it into the nearest trash bin.
She wouldn’t allow herself to think further than that for the time being. Because if it was really over, if she had no other choice but to accept defeat and walk away for good…she didn’t know where to go from here. Except maybe San Diego.
Going back to the motel and pacing back and forth for hours wasn’t exactly high on her list of priorities - or possible, given the state of her leg - so instead Arizona lingered around the hospital, trying to figure out her next move. As hard as playing the waiting game was, she knew she had to give Callie space. Patience, however, had never really been one of her virtues, so she found herself sitting in the lobby, watching the doctors and patients pass by with the misguided hope that Callie would find her there.
“Arizona?”
She looked up and spotted Teddy heading in her direction, flashing her a weak smile. “Hey.”
Teddy took a seat next to her. “What are you still doing here? I figured you were done hours ago.”
“Two and a half, to be exact,” Arizona admitted, fidgeting. “I’m waiting for Callie. To...something. Find me, maybe. Even though she told me I had ruined any chance I had to begin with by not talking to her for two weeks.”
“That wasn’t the best choice you’ve ever made.”
Arizona closed her eyes and heaved a sigh. “I did something incredibly stupid and pathetic and she’s probably going to laugh at me and never talk to me ever again.”
Teddy sat back and crossed her legs. “And that would be...?”
“I wrote her a letter. Not a love letter so much as a...well, it’s a letter. And I don’t know if I ever meant for her to read it, but it was my last chance at making things right again so I gave it to her anyway.” Arizona paused. “So, now I’m waiting, like the pathetic loser that I am.”
“Wow, she’s already got you professing your love on paper. That’s impressive.” Teddy chuckled when Arizona smacked her on the arm. “She’s been sad these last few weeks, I can tell. She misses you.” She tilted her head. “Writing you’re good at. Speaking, not so much. Hopefully this works.”
Arizona grunted in return.
Teddy checked her watch and stood up. “Well, there’s no use in sitting around here, she got paged into surgery a little while ago. How about I treat you to a very delicious cafeteria-style lunch while you wait?”
Arizona nodded and reluctantly pushed out of her chair, fumbling for her crutches. Her leg was bothering her again, which wasn’t exactly anything new, but it seemed to be celebrating the fact that it was cast-free by hurting a little bit extra.
She obediently followed her best friend across the lobby and into the elevators, falling silent while Teddy talked about her day. Cafeteria food wasn’t exactly going to make her nervous stomach feel any better, but it sure as hell beat sitting around twiddling her thumbs and giving herself an ulcer.
If Callie didn’t change her mind, she didn’t know what she would do.
***
By the time Callie got out of surgery, she was beyond tired. It was a short one, only a few hours, but very intense. She liked intense surgeries, they required all of her focus and skill to be working at one-hundred percent. That meant she was able to block out whatever drama plagued her personal life beyond the OR doors. As usual, she had rocked it, saved a life, and now she got to move on with her day.
Desperate for sleep, Callie showered, changed, and found the nearest on-call room. It was the end of her shift but the idea of walking one full block to get home was too exhausting. Going back to an empty, lonely apartment wasn’t the most enticing idea, either. As soon as the door closed behind her and she was positive that she was alone, she shrugged off her lab coat and tossed it onto a nearby chair, then collapsed on the bottom bunk of the nearest bed.
The sound of paper hitting the floor and skittering across smooth resin met her ears. She lifted her head from the pillow and squinted through the darkness.
Arizona’s letter lay on the ground about two feet away from where she was now, providing a big fat reminder of all the other crap she had yet to deal with.
Callie eyed the letter suspiciously and couldn’t help but wonder what it said. She hoped it wasn’t full of bullshit, she wasn’t in the mood to deal with more drama right now. There was a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her maybe, just maybe, Arizona had been genuine. That small shred of hope annoyed her to no end, and she knew it wasn’t going to let her get any sleep so long as that damn thing lay there staring at her.
She could pretend to be impervious to Arizona all she wanted, she just wasn’t fooling herself anymore.
Callie propped up on one elbow and reached over to poke the letter with her fingertips, urging it closer so she could pick it up. It took a few tries but she finally secured it in her hand and rolled back onto the bed. She sat up and tucked her legs underneath her, staring at the beautiful penmanship on the front that simply read ‘Calliope’.
Mentally preparing herself, Callie closed her eyes and made a deal. She would read the letter, fold it up, fall asleep like she so desperately needed, and deal with whatever ramifications it would bring later - when she woke up. That was the best she could do right now; her mind was on autopilot and that was the only reason she wasn’t unconscious and drooling on the floor right now.
Opening her eyes, Callie unfolded the piece of paper and began to read.
It’s been two days since I last saw you, since I last kissed you. I’m sitting here in a dark and empty room without any real means of communication, so I’ve decided to write you this letter. Cheesy, right? I promise this isn’t a ploy to make you swoon or to get into your pants - although either response is completely acceptable and generally encouraged.
Damn it, that made her smile. Which made her mad, which in turn made her pout as she read further. Arizona had been under exaggerating her writing capabilities; Callie had to bite her lip more than once to keep from laughing out loud.
Any other human being on the planet would be pummeled into a pile of dust for calling her Calliope, but Arizona got away with it each and every time. Truthfully, Callie loved the way her name spilled from the blonde’s lips, rolling smoothly off of her tongue as though she had been born to say it. Arizona always managed to make it sound sexy, something Callie had never, ever felt about her full name before now.
She kept reading and despite her efforts to remain impartial, each sentence chipped away at the block of ice sitting inside her chest. Arizona was cute, funny, sexy, and really good with words. It was irritating and endearing at the same time.
No one else has ever made me feel the way you do and that scares me. Admitting that scares me. But it’s the kind of scared I’m willing to force myself not to turn away from. I’ve done too much of that in my life. You’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to fight for and I think for a while that threw me for a loop.
Apparently that ‘loop’ did a couple of laps, because supposedly after this was written Arizona still hadn’t called her.
Regardless, Callie read on about how Arizona wanted to get to know her and how happy she was that they met. By the time she reached ‘I’ll see you soon, beautiful,’ she released a soft, girly sigh, unsure whether she was about to smile or cry. Possibly both.
PS: If the offer still stands, I would love to take up the third bedroom in your apartment. I think I just saw a cockroach scuttle across the bathroom floor
Despite her inner turmoil, Callie let out a bark of laughter.
Oh, hell. She was dead in the water as far as her ‘stern’ resolve was concerned.
Closing her eyes, she collapsed backward and pressed her hands to her forehead. The last thing in the world she needed was more heartache; she’d already had enough to last a lifetime as far as she was concerned. She had opened herself up to Arizona more than she felt like she ever did with Erica - heck, even more than she had with George in some respects, and she’d been struck down pretty hard. Arizona had left her - regardless of the different situations or the reasoning, she had promised one thing and done the opposite.
Any other place, any other time, any other person - Callie would walk away and not waste her time. But Arizona was here, begging for forgiveness and asking for a second chance, writing adorable letters and making it known that she wanted to be in this thing for real. She wouldn’t be doing that if she didn’t mean it - right?
Arizona had been the one constant in her life these last few months. Their daily talks and lunch sessions were the one thing Callie had really looked forward to, even counted on. She spent the first four weeks convincing herself she was doing it for the benefit of her patient, that she was being the support system Arizona needed, but eventually even she had to admit that it was just as much for her own sake. The loneliness she experienced after Erica left began to heal the day Arizona Robbins came into her life - no amount of anger or hurt could ever make Callie deny that.
Arizona’s smile, her laugh, her dorky sense of humour - all of those things and so much more made her irresistible, something Callie knew the blonde was having trouble seeing these days. A part of her knew that Arizona’s insecurities over her physical and emotional scars were probably a big reason why she hadn’t called in the last two weeks. Getting out of the hospital after spending the better part of five consecutive months bedridden would have been a shock to the system - it was one thing to dream about getting out and being on her own again, it was probably a whole different thing to experience.
It didn’t outright excuse what she did, but Callie was willing to give her just a little bit of leeway because of it. Arizona was in the beginning stages of rediscovering her life and what it meant under these new circumstances. Maybe it just took her longer than she thought it would to figure out what she really wanted. Granted, it could have involved talking rather than avoiding, but what was done was done and couldn’t be changed.
Callie groaned and allowed her eyes to trace over the handwritten words a second time. She was setting herself up to fall again by agreeing to give the blonde a second chance, something that wasn’t exactly a thrilling prospect. If Arizona balked and backed out, Callie knew she would be crushed. In the last two weeks she’d all but sworn off men and women for the foreseeable future, for what she felt were legitimate reasons. She needed time to heal before even thinking about moving on.
Now she had to make a choice. She either needed to forgive Arizona for her mistakes and give things another try, or she needed to step away and not look back. That would be easier said than done, but if she really had to, she knew could do it.
Somehow Callie knew there was really only one answer.
It might have been against her better judgment, but she had to give Arizona a chance to prove that she was all in this. Otherwise she would spend god knows how long wondering ‘what if’. It only took one person to change your life - what if Arizona was that person? What if walking away from this chance meant walking away from the best thing to ever happen to her? What if this was the relationship that lasted forever?
Okay, maybe she shouldn’t get ahead of herself, but even if things didn’t work out in the end, Callie would regret it more if she didn’t go for it now.
One chance, that’s what she would tell Arizona. That she had one chance left and Callie wasn’t going to allow herself to be walked all over again. If there was one thing she had come to realize over these last few months it was that she deserved to be respected. George hadn’t respected her, Erica hadn’t respected her. It wasn’t something she had ever consciously thought about before. Funny enough, it was Arizona that had made her realize it in the first place - she deserved to be respected.
Even after the two week radio silence, something told her the blonde was an honorable person and that wouldn’t be an issue moving forward.
Right now, though, she desperately needed some sleep. Between the anxiety, fear and sadness of the day, she was tired enough to fall into a coma the next time she blinked. So she set the letter down and curled up on top of the covers, closing her eyes and almost immediately beginning to drift off.
Barely five minutes after her head hit the pillow, her Blackberry vibrated.
With a loud growl, Callie flailed an arm out and grabbed it, cracking one eye open just enough to read the message.
If you’re willing to give me another chance, I promise I’ll do everything in my power to never let you down again. You’ve given me my life back and I don’t want to spend another second without you in it.
Callie dropped the phone against her chest and released a heavy sigh, the beginnings of a smile appearing.
The woman was good, she’d give her that.
Glancing at the message in resignation, she typed a quick reply, hit send and lay back while she waited.
***
“At least you’ve graduated from jello,” Teddy commented as she ate a bowl of lasagna and watched Arizona poke idly at her sandwich.
Arizona wrinkled her nose. “I don’t even like sandwiches.” She pushed it away and sank back in her chair. “I don’t suppose you can sneak me into the gallery, can you? Just so I can see if she’s still in surgery? I bet she looks sexy when she’s cutting.”
Teddy rolled her eyes. “I know you’re bursting at the seams with anticipation but you have to give her time. I’m not one to meddle, but what you did - and I know you had your reasons - it probably really hurt her.”
Arizona’s stomach twisted into knots. There wasn’t enough self-punishment on earth that she could dole out and feel satisfied with.
Teddy watched her whimper and close her eyes, then reached across the table to take her hand. “Look, make me a promise, okay? I don’t want to see either of you moping around anymore, so please be sure about this. Make sure this is what you really want before jumping in head first.”
Arizona nodded and tightened her grip. “Thanks, Teds. But I’m sure.”
Teddy frowned. “Don’t call me that. Ever.”
Arizona grinned crookedly. “I’m sure about this. I was sure before and I’m even more sure now. If it works, I’m not gonna let her down again. I just want her to give me a second chance.”
Teddy hesitated. “What if she doesn’t?” She saw an uncertainty, a vulnerability in Arizona’s eyes that hadn’t been there in a really long time.
“I don’t even want to think about it, honestly,” Arizona admitted. “I know it’s a big possibility, but I remember how that kiss felt, how everything else felt when I was stuck in that room and she would come to see me every day. I know that if she was in as much pain as I was these last few weeks, that means something is still there for her.”
Arizona bunched a napkin between her fingers, tapping her good foot against the table. “If she wants me to get lost for good, then I’ll understand. It’ll suck, and I’ll probably be a mess, but I get it. And then I’ll...I don’t know. There’s always San Diego, right?” The idea of moving back in with her parents was nauseating.
Teddy remained silent, giving Arizona time to process out loud.
“I just want her to say yes. I want her to so badly I-I can’t think about anything else.” Arizona growled in frustration. “Do you see? Do you see what she’s done to me? Making me feel all of this emotional crap? Ugh!” She dropped her hands heavily, pouting.
“She brought life back into your eyes,” Teddy added, smiling despite her friend’s frustration. “She made you happy for once. She’s worth all of the ‘emotional crap’, you just needed to figure that out on your own.”
“I am a bit slow sometimes,” Arizona admitted with a small laugh. She shook her head and glanced at the cellphone lying on the table, picking it up and staring at the screen. “I should have written my number on the letter. Why did I not think to write my number on the letter?”
“She’ll find you,” Teddy said, patting her on the arm. “She will. Just give her time.”
But Arizona was impatient. She wanted to talk to her now, just so she could know. One way or the other, she needed the answer before she drove herself insane.
“Screw it. I’m texting her.” Arizona swiped her finger across the touch screen and began to type, thumbs flying across the keyboard before Teddy could stop her.
“Arizona,” the other blonde warned gently, “maybe you should wait.”
Arizona shook her head. “No. If she’s read it and still wondering, I need her to know that I meant every word. And if the answer is still no, at least I’ll know that I fought for her.”
Teddy listened to the quiet ‘zip’ noise as the message was flung off into cyberspace. “Well, now we wait.”
“Yep.” Arizona set the phone on the table and proceeded to stare at it.
Teddy lifted an eyebrow. “It might take her a bit of time, y’know. To get it, answer back. She could still be in surgery, or asleep, or busy.”
Arizona remained motionless and continued to stare, willing and praying for the phone to ring, buzz, vibrate, or even explode. Something. She needed something.
When it suddenly began to dance across the table about sixty-two-and-a-half seconds later, she actually jumped in surprise. She cast a wide-eyed, almost fearful glance at Teddy before reaching out with a shaky hand and pulling it over.
Where are you?
Arizona’s heart soared and she grinned widely.
“What?” Teddy demanded. “What did she say?”
Arizona didn’t reply, instead typing back: ‘At the hospital, in the cafeteria’ and hitting send again.
A few seconds later, she got another response. ‘Meet me in the lobby in fifteen minutes and I’ll give you a ride home.’
Arizona went slack and fell face-first into the table. “Oh thank God,” she groaned, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against the cold surface. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
“I take it that wasn’t the ‘fuck off’ you were anticipating?”
Arizona jerked upright and beamed at Teddy. “She wants me to meet her in the lobby in fifteen minutes. I’m just gonna pretend that there isn’t a chance it’s only to tell me to bugger off and leave her alone, and instead focus on my inner ‘Yay!’ that she answered in the first place.”
Teddy laughed and reached out to playfully ruffle Arizona’s hair as she stood up, which only earned her a scowl in return. “Better get going. You take forever to get around on those things, you gimp.”
Arizona jumped out of her chair awfully fast for someone that was still sporting a broken leg, then grabbed her crutches and paused for half a second, shooting Teddy a pleading look.
“I look okay, right? The hair, the jacket, the pants - not like a circus freak who’s forgotten how to be social?”
“Just go,” Teddy ordered. “You look fine.”
Nodding, Arizona took in a deep breath and headed for the elevator as fast as her crutches could carry her.
***
She beat Callie to the front doors and spent a good seven minutes trying not to freak out or start sweating, partly because it had been an extremely long day for her physically, but mostly because she was nervous. She had no idea what was about to happen, she could only hope for the best.
Finally she looked up to see Callie headed her way and a slow smile began to form. She couldn’t take her eyes off that woman even if she tried. This was technically only the third time Arizona had seen her in something other than scrubs - she was wearing that super hot leather jacket with the big grey collar and a pair of jeans that had to be illegal in fifty states for making her ass look so good.
Wow.
All Arizona could do was sit there and grin like an idiot. Callie looked really beautiful - and also a little strained.
As she came closer, Arizona stood up from her chair, wobbling on her crutches, and turned to face her as she came to a stop a few feet away.
“Hi.” It was soft yet confident, and Arizona was secretly proud of herself for finding the courage to say anything at all after pouring her heart out in that letter.
“Hey.”
A few seconds of silence passed between them, neither one looking away.
“Can I be honest with you?” Arizona finally asked, forcing herself to be the first to speak.
A small, barely there smirk appeared over Callie’s lips. “I was kinda under the impression that you already were.” She pulled the letter partway out of her pocket.
Arizona blushed and inhaled a deep breath. “I miss you. I’ve been missing you. And I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that because it’s my own fault that I’ve been missing you, but...I have been. I do. A lot.” She shook her head, preparing to beg for forgiveness. “I am so, so sor-”
“I’m going to stop you right there,” Callie cut in, holding up a hand. “We’re done with this.”
Arizona felt her heart drop into her shoes.
“We’re done blaming, done saying ‘thank you’s and ‘I’m sorry’s, done feeling bad and done feeling like we’ve done something wrong. Done. If you want this - us - then we’re starting over. We’re done living in the past. Okay?”
There was a vulnerability in Callie’s voice that Arizona hadn’t heard before. All she could do was look into her eyes and nod mutely.
“I’m exhausted. I can barely stand up and I’ve been on my feet for more than thirty-six hours. I’ll take you home and then we can talk in the morning, okay?” Callie quirked an eyebrow in question.
Arizona ducked her head and held out her left crutch in an ‘after you’ gesture, watching Callie head for the door before following in line.
***
They had been in the car for twenty minutes, neither speaking a single word. The only sound was the shifting of gears as Callie drove toward their destination. It wasn’t particularly awkward, it was just a quiet atmosphere, maybe even a little nervous. Callie was obviously tired and Arizona didn’t want to push her too far by talking her ear off just to fill the silence.
They pulled into the parking lot of the motel and Callie put the car in park, promptly turning the engine off and settling into her seat.
Arizona took in a deep breath, rolling her shoulders back to try and ease some of the tension that had been building for the last two weeks. She’d forgotten all about her leg while worrying whether or not she would get a response from Callie, and she was secretly thankful for the distraction.
When the silence stretched on, Arizona finally looked over, tilting her head curiously. “So. Can I call you tomorrow? Really for real, cross my heart?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Callie answered after a prolonged silence. “We both know what happened the last time you were left to your own devices.”
Arizona swallowed back. “Callie, I’m so-”
“I told you to stop saying that,” Callie cut in, glaring. “I’m just so sick of hearing those three words. You fucked up, okay? And you hurt me - pretty badly. But that letter, it was genuine, and that’s why I’m willing to give you one more chance. But I swear to God, if you say you’re sorry one more time I’m going to grab you by the shoulders and shake you. Or steal your crutches and make you walk home.” She frowned. “Or…something less bitchy. Just...stop, okay? Please?”
Arizona’s eyes widened and she nodded vigorously, mimicking the motion of zipping her lips shut and tossing away the key. She was willing to say or do pretty much anything right now so long as it meant she got a second chance.
She tapped her fingers nervously against her thigh. “If I’m not allowed to call you, then...?”
“I will call you.” Callie’s tone was firm yet somewhat playful. “I’m going to take you out on a real date. I’m going to set it up, pick the time and the place, and I’m going to be the one to call you until you learn how to use a freaking phone properly.”
Arizona had trouble hiding her grin. “I like that idea.”
She bit her lip and slowly reached across Callie’s body to slide a hand into her far pocket. Making eye contact, she extracted the Blackberry hidden within, briefly looking down to enter her number, then glanced up again as she extended the device back. “Not as sexy as writing it on a cast, but I’m workin’ with what I’ve got here.”
Callie shot her a cute grin and grabbed Arizona’s hand before she could pull away completely. She was still a little wary about this whole thing, but she didn’t want Arizona thinking she didn’t care.
“You’re sweet when you want to be,” Callie said, rolling her eyes at herself. “That’s what made it so damn hard to resist being near you in the first place - you big jerk.”
Arizona laughed and squeezed her hand. “I look forward to receiving that phone call.” She tilted her head, studying the brunette closely. “Try not to make me squirm for too long, okay? I don’t think my heart can take it.”
“I won’t, I promise,” Callie agreed. “Though I’m warning you, I haven’t slept in for weeks, so you’re gonna have to wait for me to pry my tired ass out of bed first. But I will call you.”
Arizona nodded, knowing she was partly at fault. She didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t dance around the idea of ‘I’m sorry’ and get her ass knocked out of the car, so she did the next best thing she could think of. She closed her eyes and brought Callie’s hand to her lips, clasping it between her own and pressing a soft kiss to the back. She lingered for a moment before pulling away a fraction of an inch. “For what it’s worth, you look beautiful even when you’re tired. I really missed seeing you every day.”
Callie closed her eyes, feeling herself relax a little more. “I want this to work, I really do. I just need to know that you’re sure it’s what you want. Really sure.”
Arizona very carefully reached out to stroke her right thumb along Callie’s cheek. “I’m right where I want to be.” She watched Callie’s eyelids flutter and smiled as she repeated the motion with her hand. “So when you call, I’ll pick up before the first ring is over, even if it makes me look desperate.”
Callie released a soft breath. “Promise?
Arizona’s smile widened. “I promise, cross my heart, swear on my shiny new knee and all of that good stuff. Okay?”
Callie laughed despite how exhausted she was. “You’re lucky I find the fact that you’re the biggest dork on the planet endearing, Arizona.” She melted a little when Arizona flashed those cute dimples her way. “It kind of makes me want to kiss you again,” she added after a beat.
Arizona slowly lifted an eyebrow, rounding her hand over the smooth curve of Callie’s jaw. She didn’t say anything.
After a moment, Callie dropped her eyes. “If we’re gonna do this right, we need to start over. We need to wait - I need to wait.” She snuck a quick upward glance, gauging Arizona’s reaction.
Despite how much she wanted to kiss Callie, Arizona could respect her wishes. “Then we wait,” she agreed, reluctantly dropping her hand away. “I don’t know if I can just forget the first one, though. It was pretty amazing,” she added, biting her lip at the memory. “It’s all I’ve been able to think about.”
“Me too,” Callie admitted.
Arizona leaned back in her seat, taking in a deep breath and releasing it slowly. “All right, you need sleep. Please drive safely and don’t wrap yourself around a pole, okay? Those eyes can close once you’re in bed.”
“I don’t think I’ll have the energy to do anything other than strip down and pass out,” Callie chuckled, rubbing her nose.
Those words were just enough to inadvertently get Arizona’s imagination going. She was trying to be respectful and follow Callie’s lead, except now all she could think about was her lying in bed in a pair of somewhat skimpy, barely-there pajamas. Or no pajamas at all, given what she’d just said. Arizona bit back a smirk and quickly looked away.
“Arizona!”
Callie’s voice snapped her back to reality.
“Stop picturing me naked,” the brunette griped, blushing furiously.
“I am not,” Arizona shot back, lying through her teeth.
Callie could read the look on her face, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. “I’m barely holding it together here, so stop it. Right this second.”
Arizona held up her hands in defense. “Okay, I’m sorry, I’m stopping.”
Not so much. There was no way she would be able to wipe the mental image of a naked Callie, tangled in a mess of bed sheets, sweaty and writhing beneath her. She’d been celibate for way too freaking long, it was starting to mess with her brain chemistry.
“You’re doing it again!” Callie’s face was flushed and she looked just as hot and bothered all of a sudden.
Arizona winced. “Okay, okay, I-I should go. I’m sorry.” She fumbled for the door latch, cheeks burning.
Callie closed her eyes and groaned. Before Arizona could exit the car, she reached across the console and grabbed her by the wrist, tugging her back into her seat. “I’ll call you when I wake up and then we can talk on the phone like the annoying teenage girls I couldn’t stand in high school,” she said, grinning sheepishly.
Arizona smiled. “I look forward to hearing from you.” She maneuvered her hand so she could gently squeeze Callie’s fingers. “Get some sleep. You deserve it.”
It was hard to get out but somehow Arizona managed to stumble from the car. She yanked her crutches out of the back and closed both doors, leaning down to give Callie a little wave through the window. When she received a tiny grin in return, she turned and hobbled over to her room.
Arizona fumbled for the keys in her side pocket, barely managing not to drop it with her shaking hands. She stuck it in the knob, jiggling the handle vigorously for a few seconds before it finally popped open.
Seeing how Calliope was big on the chivalry, Arizona knew she would be sitting there waiting for her to get inside safely. As soon as the door opened, she turned around and flashed her another grin, following it up with another tiny wave. Then Arizona stepped inside the motel room and shut the door.
Today had been a crazy one, that was for sure.
Just as she was shrugging off her jacket, her cellphone buzzed from inside the pocket. She smiled, having a pretty good idea who it was, and took it out, flicking on the message screen.
‘I’m picturing you naked, too.’
---
Scar Tissue (Part Two)
Chapter 14-B
Authors: kennedysbitch & livelovelearneg
Beta'd by englishstrawbie
Rating: NC-17 [Depictions of violence, PTSD, Language, Sexual Content]
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Disclaimer
Scar Tissue [masterpost]
Summary: When Arizona Robbins’ brother dies in Iraq, her life takes off in a completely different direction. Now a highly-rated trauma surgeon with the United States Marine Corps, she spends the three years following his death serving their country overseas - until an insurgent attack leaves her with debilitating injuries. Traveling to Seattle at her father’s request, she falls under the care of orthopedic surgeon Dr. Calliope Torres. Damaged emotionally and physically, Arizona tries to start the healing process with the help of a headstrong woman she never saw coming.
Part Two: Now free from the confines of a hospital bed for the first time
in almost five months, Arizona begins her physical and emotional recovery while
navigating a budding yet rocky relationship with Callie Torres.
Warnings: Depictions of violence, PTSD, Language, Sexual Content
Trailer:
Click to viewA/N: This was definitely supposed to be posted last Thursday. Oops. New job, lots of training = tired brain that doesn't want to edit fic. Sorry! Chapter 15 should still be up on Monday. (Split chapters like 14 A & B will usually go up in the same week, if time permits.)
---
As Callie made her way down the long corridor, it took all of her concentration just to walk in a straight line.
Was that really goodbye? Would it really be the last time she ever saw Arizona?
Her heart was pounding and a mixture of emotions swirled inside her head, but she didn’t have much time to ponder the answers. The shrill beeping of her pager drew her attention, wielding an urgent 9-1-1 message to the ER downstairs.
The call provided a much need distraction for most of the afternoon. While she was exhausted and needed to sleep, she knew that the second she lay down and thought about what happened, she would probably cry. She didn’t want to cry over Arizona anymore, it was too tiring and she didn’t have it in her. So instead she said a quiet ‘thank you’ to the surgical Gods and jogged towards the elevator, ready for action.
The letter remained inside her lab coat pocket, unread and completely forgotten.
***
The x-rays didn’t take long. Arizona was in and out in thirty minutes, and now she found herself at a loss for what to do next. The whole afternoon she’d been trying to convince herself that she could prove to Callie how sorry she was, and that their potential relationship deserved another chance, but things hadn’t exactly gone according to plan. Callie was rightfully hurt and upset, but she was giving no indication that she would ever feel otherwise. All Arizona had was her faith in her letter, hoping against hope that Callie would choose to read it instead of tossing it into the nearest trash bin.
She wouldn’t allow herself to think further than that for the time being. Because if it was really over, if she had no other choice but to accept defeat and walk away for good…she didn’t know where to go from here. Except maybe San Diego.
Going back to the motel and pacing back and forth for hours wasn’t exactly high on her list of priorities - or possible, given the state of her leg - so instead Arizona lingered around the hospital, trying to figure out her next move. As hard as playing the waiting game was, she knew she had to give Callie space. Patience, however, had never really been one of her virtues, so she found herself sitting in the lobby, watching the doctors and patients pass by with the misguided hope that Callie would find her there.
“Arizona?”
She looked up and spotted Teddy heading in her direction, flashing her a weak smile. “Hey.”
Teddy took a seat next to her. “What are you still doing here? I figured you were done hours ago.”
“Two and a half, to be exact,” Arizona admitted, fidgeting. “I’m waiting for Callie. To...something. Find me, maybe. Even though she told me I had ruined any chance I had to begin with by not talking to her for two weeks.”
“That wasn’t the best choice you’ve ever made.”
Arizona closed her eyes and heaved a sigh. “I did something incredibly stupid and pathetic and she’s probably going to laugh at me and never talk to me ever again.”
Teddy sat back and crossed her legs. “And that would be...?”
“I wrote her a letter. Not a love letter so much as a...well, it’s a letter. And I don’t know if I ever meant for her to read it, but it was my last chance at making things right again so I gave it to her anyway.” Arizona paused. “So, now I’m waiting, like the pathetic loser that I am.”
“Wow, she’s already got you professing your love on paper. That’s impressive.” Teddy chuckled when Arizona smacked her on the arm. “She’s been sad these last few weeks, I can tell. She misses you.” She tilted her head. “Writing you’re good at. Speaking, not so much. Hopefully this works.”
Arizona grunted in return.
Teddy checked her watch and stood up. “Well, there’s no use in sitting around here, she got paged into surgery a little while ago. How about I treat you to a very delicious cafeteria-style lunch while you wait?”
Arizona nodded and reluctantly pushed out of her chair, fumbling for her crutches. Her leg was bothering her again, which wasn’t exactly anything new, but it seemed to be celebrating the fact that it was cast-free by hurting a little bit extra.
She obediently followed her best friend across the lobby and into the elevators, falling silent while Teddy talked about her day. Cafeteria food wasn’t exactly going to make her nervous stomach feel any better, but it sure as hell beat sitting around twiddling her thumbs and giving herself an ulcer.
If Callie didn’t change her mind, she didn’t know what she would do.
***
By the time Callie got out of surgery, she was beyond tired. It was a short one, only a few hours, but very intense. She liked intense surgeries, they required all of her focus and skill to be working at one-hundred percent. That meant she was able to block out whatever drama plagued her personal life beyond the OR doors. As usual, she had rocked it, saved a life, and now she got to move on with her day.
Desperate for sleep, Callie showered, changed, and found the nearest on-call room. It was the end of her shift but the idea of walking one full block to get home was too exhausting. Going back to an empty, lonely apartment wasn’t the most enticing idea, either. As soon as the door closed behind her and she was positive that she was alone, she shrugged off her lab coat and tossed it onto a nearby chair, then collapsed on the bottom bunk of the nearest bed.
The sound of paper hitting the floor and skittering across smooth resin met her ears. She lifted her head from the pillow and squinted through the darkness.
Arizona’s letter lay on the ground about two feet away from where she was now, providing a big fat reminder of all the other crap she had yet to deal with.
Callie eyed the letter suspiciously and couldn’t help but wonder what it said. She hoped it wasn’t full of bullshit, she wasn’t in the mood to deal with more drama right now. There was a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her maybe, just maybe, Arizona had been genuine. That small shred of hope annoyed her to no end, and she knew it wasn’t going to let her get any sleep so long as that damn thing lay there staring at her.
She could pretend to be impervious to Arizona all she wanted, she just wasn’t fooling herself anymore.
Callie propped up on one elbow and reached over to poke the letter with her fingertips, urging it closer so she could pick it up. It took a few tries but she finally secured it in her hand and rolled back onto the bed. She sat up and tucked her legs underneath her, staring at the beautiful penmanship on the front that simply read ‘Calliope’.
Mentally preparing herself, Callie closed her eyes and made a deal. She would read the letter, fold it up, fall asleep like she so desperately needed, and deal with whatever ramifications it would bring later - when she woke up. That was the best she could do right now; her mind was on autopilot and that was the only reason she wasn’t unconscious and drooling on the floor right now.
Opening her eyes, Callie unfolded the piece of paper and began to read.
It’s been two days since I last saw you, since I last kissed you. I’m sitting here in a dark and empty room without any real means of communication, so I’ve decided to write you this letter. Cheesy, right? I promise this isn’t a ploy to make you swoon or to get into your pants - although either response is completely acceptable and generally encouraged.
Damn it, that made her smile. Which made her mad, which in turn made her pout as she read further. Arizona had been under exaggerating her writing capabilities; Callie had to bite her lip more than once to keep from laughing out loud.
Any other human being on the planet would be pummeled into a pile of dust for calling her Calliope, but Arizona got away with it each and every time. Truthfully, Callie loved the way her name spilled from the blonde’s lips, rolling smoothly off of her tongue as though she had been born to say it. Arizona always managed to make it sound sexy, something Callie had never, ever felt about her full name before now.
She kept reading and despite her efforts to remain impartial, each sentence chipped away at the block of ice sitting inside her chest. Arizona was cute, funny, sexy, and really good with words. It was irritating and endearing at the same time.
No one else has ever made me feel the way you do and that scares me. Admitting that scares me. But it’s the kind of scared I’m willing to force myself not to turn away from. I’ve done too much of that in my life. You’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to fight for and I think for a while that threw me for a loop.
Apparently that ‘loop’ did a couple of laps, because supposedly after this was written Arizona still hadn’t called her.
Regardless, Callie read on about how Arizona wanted to get to know her and how happy she was that they met. By the time she reached ‘I’ll see you soon, beautiful,’ she released a soft, girly sigh, unsure whether she was about to smile or cry. Possibly both.
PS: If the offer still stands, I would love to take up the third bedroom in your apartment. I think I just saw a cockroach scuttle across the bathroom floor
Despite her inner turmoil, Callie let out a bark of laughter.
Oh, hell. She was dead in the water as far as her ‘stern’ resolve was concerned.
Closing her eyes, she collapsed backward and pressed her hands to her forehead. The last thing in the world she needed was more heartache; she’d already had enough to last a lifetime as far as she was concerned. She had opened herself up to Arizona more than she felt like she ever did with Erica - heck, even more than she had with George in some respects, and she’d been struck down pretty hard. Arizona had left her - regardless of the different situations or the reasoning, she had promised one thing and done the opposite.
Any other place, any other time, any other person - Callie would walk away and not waste her time. But Arizona was here, begging for forgiveness and asking for a second chance, writing adorable letters and making it known that she wanted to be in this thing for real. She wouldn’t be doing that if she didn’t mean it - right?
Arizona had been the one constant in her life these last few months. Their daily talks and lunch sessions were the one thing Callie had really looked forward to, even counted on. She spent the first four weeks convincing herself she was doing it for the benefit of her patient, that she was being the support system Arizona needed, but eventually even she had to admit that it was just as much for her own sake. The loneliness she experienced after Erica left began to heal the day Arizona Robbins came into her life - no amount of anger or hurt could ever make Callie deny that.
Arizona’s smile, her laugh, her dorky sense of humour - all of those things and so much more made her irresistible, something Callie knew the blonde was having trouble seeing these days. A part of her knew that Arizona’s insecurities over her physical and emotional scars were probably a big reason why she hadn’t called in the last two weeks. Getting out of the hospital after spending the better part of five consecutive months bedridden would have been a shock to the system - it was one thing to dream about getting out and being on her own again, it was probably a whole different thing to experience.
It didn’t outright excuse what she did, but Callie was willing to give her just a little bit of leeway because of it. Arizona was in the beginning stages of rediscovering her life and what it meant under these new circumstances. Maybe it just took her longer than she thought it would to figure out what she really wanted. Granted, it could have involved talking rather than avoiding, but what was done was done and couldn’t be changed.
Callie groaned and allowed her eyes to trace over the handwritten words a second time. She was setting herself up to fall again by agreeing to give the blonde a second chance, something that wasn’t exactly a thrilling prospect. If Arizona balked and backed out, Callie knew she would be crushed. In the last two weeks she’d all but sworn off men and women for the foreseeable future, for what she felt were legitimate reasons. She needed time to heal before even thinking about moving on.
Now she had to make a choice. She either needed to forgive Arizona for her mistakes and give things another try, or she needed to step away and not look back. That would be easier said than done, but if she really had to, she knew could do it.
Somehow Callie knew there was really only one answer.
It might have been against her better judgment, but she had to give Arizona a chance to prove that she was all in this. Otherwise she would spend god knows how long wondering ‘what if’. It only took one person to change your life - what if Arizona was that person? What if walking away from this chance meant walking away from the best thing to ever happen to her? What if this was the relationship that lasted forever?
Okay, maybe she shouldn’t get ahead of herself, but even if things didn’t work out in the end, Callie would regret it more if she didn’t go for it now.
One chance, that’s what she would tell Arizona. That she had one chance left and Callie wasn’t going to allow herself to be walked all over again. If there was one thing she had come to realize over these last few months it was that she deserved to be respected. George hadn’t respected her, Erica hadn’t respected her. It wasn’t something she had ever consciously thought about before. Funny enough, it was Arizona that had made her realize it in the first place - she deserved to be respected.
Even after the two week radio silence, something told her the blonde was an honorable person and that wouldn’t be an issue moving forward.
Right now, though, she desperately needed some sleep. Between the anxiety, fear and sadness of the day, she was tired enough to fall into a coma the next time she blinked. So she set the letter down and curled up on top of the covers, closing her eyes and almost immediately beginning to drift off.
Barely five minutes after her head hit the pillow, her Blackberry vibrated.
With a loud growl, Callie flailed an arm out and grabbed it, cracking one eye open just enough to read the message.
If you’re willing to give me another chance, I promise I’ll do everything in my power to never let you down again. You’ve given me my life back and I don’t want to spend another second without you in it.
Callie dropped the phone against her chest and released a heavy sigh, the beginnings of a smile appearing.
The woman was good, she’d give her that.
Glancing at the message in resignation, she typed a quick reply, hit send and lay back while she waited.
***
“At least you’ve graduated from jello,” Teddy commented as she ate a bowl of lasagna and watched Arizona poke idly at her sandwich.
Arizona wrinkled her nose. “I don’t even like sandwiches.” She pushed it away and sank back in her chair. “I don’t suppose you can sneak me into the gallery, can you? Just so I can see if she’s still in surgery? I bet she looks sexy when she’s cutting.”
Teddy rolled her eyes. “I know you’re bursting at the seams with anticipation but you have to give her time. I’m not one to meddle, but what you did - and I know you had your reasons - it probably really hurt her.”
Arizona’s stomach twisted into knots. There wasn’t enough self-punishment on earth that she could dole out and feel satisfied with.
Teddy watched her whimper and close her eyes, then reached across the table to take her hand. “Look, make me a promise, okay? I don’t want to see either of you moping around anymore, so please be sure about this. Make sure this is what you really want before jumping in head first.”
Arizona nodded and tightened her grip. “Thanks, Teds. But I’m sure.”
Teddy frowned. “Don’t call me that. Ever.”
Arizona grinned crookedly. “I’m sure about this. I was sure before and I’m even more sure now. If it works, I’m not gonna let her down again. I just want her to give me a second chance.”
Teddy hesitated. “What if she doesn’t?” She saw an uncertainty, a vulnerability in Arizona’s eyes that hadn’t been there in a really long time.
“I don’t even want to think about it, honestly,” Arizona admitted. “I know it’s a big possibility, but I remember how that kiss felt, how everything else felt when I was stuck in that room and she would come to see me every day. I know that if she was in as much pain as I was these last few weeks, that means something is still there for her.”
Arizona bunched a napkin between her fingers, tapping her good foot against the table. “If she wants me to get lost for good, then I’ll understand. It’ll suck, and I’ll probably be a mess, but I get it. And then I’ll...I don’t know. There’s always San Diego, right?” The idea of moving back in with her parents was nauseating.
Teddy remained silent, giving Arizona time to process out loud.
“I just want her to say yes. I want her to so badly I-I can’t think about anything else.” Arizona growled in frustration. “Do you see? Do you see what she’s done to me? Making me feel all of this emotional crap? Ugh!” She dropped her hands heavily, pouting.
“She brought life back into your eyes,” Teddy added, smiling despite her friend’s frustration. “She made you happy for once. She’s worth all of the ‘emotional crap’, you just needed to figure that out on your own.”
“I am a bit slow sometimes,” Arizona admitted with a small laugh. She shook her head and glanced at the cellphone lying on the table, picking it up and staring at the screen. “I should have written my number on the letter. Why did I not think to write my number on the letter?”
“She’ll find you,” Teddy said, patting her on the arm. “She will. Just give her time.”
But Arizona was impatient. She wanted to talk to her now, just so she could know. One way or the other, she needed the answer before she drove herself insane.
“Screw it. I’m texting her.” Arizona swiped her finger across the touch screen and began to type, thumbs flying across the keyboard before Teddy could stop her.
“Arizona,” the other blonde warned gently, “maybe you should wait.”
Arizona shook her head. “No. If she’s read it and still wondering, I need her to know that I meant every word. And if the answer is still no, at least I’ll know that I fought for her.”
Teddy listened to the quiet ‘zip’ noise as the message was flung off into cyberspace. “Well, now we wait.”
“Yep.” Arizona set the phone on the table and proceeded to stare at it.
Teddy lifted an eyebrow. “It might take her a bit of time, y’know. To get it, answer back. She could still be in surgery, or asleep, or busy.”
Arizona remained motionless and continued to stare, willing and praying for the phone to ring, buzz, vibrate, or even explode. Something. She needed something.
When it suddenly began to dance across the table about sixty-two-and-a-half seconds later, she actually jumped in surprise. She cast a wide-eyed, almost fearful glance at Teddy before reaching out with a shaky hand and pulling it over.
Where are you?
Arizona’s heart soared and she grinned widely.
“What?” Teddy demanded. “What did she say?”
Arizona didn’t reply, instead typing back: ‘At the hospital, in the cafeteria’ and hitting send again.
A few seconds later, she got another response. ‘Meet me in the lobby in fifteen minutes and I’ll give you a ride home.’
Arizona went slack and fell face-first into the table. “Oh thank God,” she groaned, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against the cold surface. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
“I take it that wasn’t the ‘fuck off’ you were anticipating?”
Arizona jerked upright and beamed at Teddy. “She wants me to meet her in the lobby in fifteen minutes. I’m just gonna pretend that there isn’t a chance it’s only to tell me to bugger off and leave her alone, and instead focus on my inner ‘Yay!’ that she answered in the first place.”
Teddy laughed and reached out to playfully ruffle Arizona’s hair as she stood up, which only earned her a scowl in return. “Better get going. You take forever to get around on those things, you gimp.”
Arizona jumped out of her chair awfully fast for someone that was still sporting a broken leg, then grabbed her crutches and paused for half a second, shooting Teddy a pleading look.
“I look okay, right? The hair, the jacket, the pants - not like a circus freak who’s forgotten how to be social?”
“Just go,” Teddy ordered. “You look fine.”
Nodding, Arizona took in a deep breath and headed for the elevator as fast as her crutches could carry her.
***
She beat Callie to the front doors and spent a good seven minutes trying not to freak out or start sweating, partly because it had been an extremely long day for her physically, but mostly because she was nervous. She had no idea what was about to happen, she could only hope for the best.
Finally she looked up to see Callie headed her way and a slow smile began to form. She couldn’t take her eyes off that woman even if she tried. This was technically only the third time Arizona had seen her in something other than scrubs - she was wearing that super hot leather jacket with the big grey collar and a pair of jeans that had to be illegal in fifty states for making her ass look so good.
Wow.
All Arizona could do was sit there and grin like an idiot. Callie looked really beautiful - and also a little strained.
As she came closer, Arizona stood up from her chair, wobbling on her crutches, and turned to face her as she came to a stop a few feet away.
“Hi.” It was soft yet confident, and Arizona was secretly proud of herself for finding the courage to say anything at all after pouring her heart out in that letter.
“Hey.”
A few seconds of silence passed between them, neither one looking away.
“Can I be honest with you?” Arizona finally asked, forcing herself to be the first to speak.
A small, barely there smirk appeared over Callie’s lips. “I was kinda under the impression that you already were.” She pulled the letter partway out of her pocket.
Arizona blushed and inhaled a deep breath. “I miss you. I’ve been missing you. And I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that because it’s my own fault that I’ve been missing you, but...I have been. I do. A lot.” She shook her head, preparing to beg for forgiveness. “I am so, so sor-”
“I’m going to stop you right there,” Callie cut in, holding up a hand. “We’re done with this.”
Arizona felt her heart drop into her shoes.
“We’re done blaming, done saying ‘thank you’s and ‘I’m sorry’s, done feeling bad and done feeling like we’ve done something wrong. Done. If you want this - us - then we’re starting over. We’re done living in the past. Okay?”
There was a vulnerability in Callie’s voice that Arizona hadn’t heard before. All she could do was look into her eyes and nod mutely.
“I’m exhausted. I can barely stand up and I’ve been on my feet for more than thirty-six hours. I’ll take you home and then we can talk in the morning, okay?” Callie quirked an eyebrow in question.
Arizona ducked her head and held out her left crutch in an ‘after you’ gesture, watching Callie head for the door before following in line.
***
They had been in the car for twenty minutes, neither speaking a single word. The only sound was the shifting of gears as Callie drove toward their destination. It wasn’t particularly awkward, it was just a quiet atmosphere, maybe even a little nervous. Callie was obviously tired and Arizona didn’t want to push her too far by talking her ear off just to fill the silence.
They pulled into the parking lot of the motel and Callie put the car in park, promptly turning the engine off and settling into her seat.
Arizona took in a deep breath, rolling her shoulders back to try and ease some of the tension that had been building for the last two weeks. She’d forgotten all about her leg while worrying whether or not she would get a response from Callie, and she was secretly thankful for the distraction.
When the silence stretched on, Arizona finally looked over, tilting her head curiously. “So. Can I call you tomorrow? Really for real, cross my heart?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Callie answered after a prolonged silence. “We both know what happened the last time you were left to your own devices.”
Arizona swallowed back. “Callie, I’m so-”
“I told you to stop saying that,” Callie cut in, glaring. “I’m just so sick of hearing those three words. You fucked up, okay? And you hurt me - pretty badly. But that letter, it was genuine, and that’s why I’m willing to give you one more chance. But I swear to God, if you say you’re sorry one more time I’m going to grab you by the shoulders and shake you. Or steal your crutches and make you walk home.” She frowned. “Or…something less bitchy. Just...stop, okay? Please?”
Arizona’s eyes widened and she nodded vigorously, mimicking the motion of zipping her lips shut and tossing away the key. She was willing to say or do pretty much anything right now so long as it meant she got a second chance.
She tapped her fingers nervously against her thigh. “If I’m not allowed to call you, then...?”
“I will call you.” Callie’s tone was firm yet somewhat playful. “I’m going to take you out on a real date. I’m going to set it up, pick the time and the place, and I’m going to be the one to call you until you learn how to use a freaking phone properly.”
Arizona had trouble hiding her grin. “I like that idea.”
She bit her lip and slowly reached across Callie’s body to slide a hand into her far pocket. Making eye contact, she extracted the Blackberry hidden within, briefly looking down to enter her number, then glanced up again as she extended the device back. “Not as sexy as writing it on a cast, but I’m workin’ with what I’ve got here.”
Callie shot her a cute grin and grabbed Arizona’s hand before she could pull away completely. She was still a little wary about this whole thing, but she didn’t want Arizona thinking she didn’t care.
“You’re sweet when you want to be,” Callie said, rolling her eyes at herself. “That’s what made it so damn hard to resist being near you in the first place - you big jerk.”
Arizona laughed and squeezed her hand. “I look forward to receiving that phone call.” She tilted her head, studying the brunette closely. “Try not to make me squirm for too long, okay? I don’t think my heart can take it.”
“I won’t, I promise,” Callie agreed. “Though I’m warning you, I haven’t slept in for weeks, so you’re gonna have to wait for me to pry my tired ass out of bed first. But I will call you.”
Arizona nodded, knowing she was partly at fault. She didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t dance around the idea of ‘I’m sorry’ and get her ass knocked out of the car, so she did the next best thing she could think of. She closed her eyes and brought Callie’s hand to her lips, clasping it between her own and pressing a soft kiss to the back. She lingered for a moment before pulling away a fraction of an inch. “For what it’s worth, you look beautiful even when you’re tired. I really missed seeing you every day.”
Callie closed her eyes, feeling herself relax a little more. “I want this to work, I really do. I just need to know that you’re sure it’s what you want. Really sure.”
Arizona very carefully reached out to stroke her right thumb along Callie’s cheek. “I’m right where I want to be.” She watched Callie’s eyelids flutter and smiled as she repeated the motion with her hand. “So when you call, I’ll pick up before the first ring is over, even if it makes me look desperate.”
Callie released a soft breath. “Promise?
Arizona’s smile widened. “I promise, cross my heart, swear on my shiny new knee and all of that good stuff. Okay?”
Callie laughed despite how exhausted she was. “You’re lucky I find the fact that you’re the biggest dork on the planet endearing, Arizona.” She melted a little when Arizona flashed those cute dimples her way. “It kind of makes me want to kiss you again,” she added after a beat.
Arizona slowly lifted an eyebrow, rounding her hand over the smooth curve of Callie’s jaw. She didn’t say anything.
After a moment, Callie dropped her eyes. “If we’re gonna do this right, we need to start over. We need to wait - I need to wait.” She snuck a quick upward glance, gauging Arizona’s reaction.
Despite how much she wanted to kiss Callie, Arizona could respect her wishes. “Then we wait,” she agreed, reluctantly dropping her hand away. “I don’t know if I can just forget the first one, though. It was pretty amazing,” she added, biting her lip at the memory. “It’s all I’ve been able to think about.”
“Me too,” Callie admitted.
Arizona leaned back in her seat, taking in a deep breath and releasing it slowly. “All right, you need sleep. Please drive safely and don’t wrap yourself around a pole, okay? Those eyes can close once you’re in bed.”
“I don’t think I’ll have the energy to do anything other than strip down and pass out,” Callie chuckled, rubbing her nose.
Those words were just enough to inadvertently get Arizona’s imagination going. She was trying to be respectful and follow Callie’s lead, except now all she could think about was her lying in bed in a pair of somewhat skimpy, barely-there pajamas. Or no pajamas at all, given what she’d just said. Arizona bit back a smirk and quickly looked away.
“Arizona!”
Callie’s voice snapped her back to reality.
“Stop picturing me naked,” the brunette griped, blushing furiously.
“I am not,” Arizona shot back, lying through her teeth.
Callie could read the look on her face, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. “I’m barely holding it together here, so stop it. Right this second.”
Arizona held up her hands in defense. “Okay, I’m sorry, I’m stopping.”
Not so much. There was no way she would be able to wipe the mental image of a naked Callie, tangled in a mess of bed sheets, sweaty and writhing beneath her. She’d been celibate for way too freaking long, it was starting to mess with her brain chemistry.
“You’re doing it again!” Callie’s face was flushed and she looked just as hot and bothered all of a sudden.
Arizona winced. “Okay, okay, I-I should go. I’m sorry.” She fumbled for the door latch, cheeks burning.
Callie closed her eyes and groaned. Before Arizona could exit the car, she reached across the console and grabbed her by the wrist, tugging her back into her seat. “I’ll call you when I wake up and then we can talk on the phone like the annoying teenage girls I couldn’t stand in high school,” she said, grinning sheepishly.
Arizona smiled. “I look forward to hearing from you.” She maneuvered her hand so she could gently squeeze Callie’s fingers. “Get some sleep. You deserve it.”
It was hard to get out but somehow Arizona managed to stumble from the car. She yanked her crutches out of the back and closed both doors, leaning down to give Callie a little wave through the window. When she received a tiny grin in return, she turned and hobbled over to her room.
Arizona fumbled for the keys in her side pocket, barely managing not to drop it with her shaking hands. She stuck it in the knob, jiggling the handle vigorously for a few seconds before it finally popped open.
Seeing how Calliope was big on the chivalry, Arizona knew she would be sitting there waiting for her to get inside safely. As soon as the door opened, she turned around and flashed her another grin, following it up with another tiny wave. Then Arizona stepped inside the motel room and shut the door.
Today had been a crazy one, that was for sure.
Just as she was shrugging off her jacket, her cellphone buzzed from inside the pocket. She smiled, having a pretty good idea who it was, and took it out, flicking on the message screen.
‘I’m picturing you naked, too.’
---