Fault Lines (8/36)
Fault Lines
Chapter 8/36
Authors: Faith kennedysbitch & Kye
Pairing: Callie/Arizona, Mark/Lexie
Rating: NC-17
Story Summary: Sequel to Choices. Callie and Arizona make the decision to move forward with their lives, but when a gradual series of events begin to snowball, Arizona tries desperately not to lose her grip on reality.
Chapter Summary: Arizona receives some bad news and turns to a friend for help.
Disclaimer:All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Previous Chapters
---
It was mid-afternoon by the time Arizona mustered up enough energy to get out of bed and shower. An act which just exhausted her all over again, so as soon as she finished and Callie went to take her turn, the blonde passed out cold once more.
When she wasn’t working, they’d have sex. When they stopped having sex, she’d be at the hospital with her parents. And when she left the hospital…
More sex.
It was great. But freaking exhausting.
It was lying on her stomach with a pillow tucked comfortably under her head, drooling, that Callie found Arizona twenty minutes later when she finished her shower. The brunette smiled as she towel-dried her hair and watched her girlfriend's back slowly rise and fall with each shallow breath. She felt her ego inflate just a little in that moment.
It was good to be her.
“Zona,” Callie called softly as she dropped the wet towel to the floor and placed her knee on the edge of the bed. She was wearing her dark jeans and a barely containing black t-shirt. She leaned over, placing a hand on the mattress as she called out again. “Zona, you gotta get up, baby.”
“Mmm…don’t wanna…” Arizona murmured without moving an inch. It came out muffled and distorted by the pillow her face was buried in. Callie poked her in the side, causing Arizona to twitch a little and grunt in annoyance. “Meanie…” Her body didn’t move, but she turned her head on the pillow to face Callie.
And Callie’s cleavage. Arizona’s eyes were barely open, but they were the first thing she saw. A slow, lazy smirk spread across her lips. “Mm...hi there.”
Callie chuckled with a slight roll of her eyes. “Perv.” She leaned down to claim the blonde's lips in a slow, gentle kiss, the best she could manage from that angle. She sighed appreciatively into the contact before reluctantly pulling back, pausing to meet and hold tired blue eyes with her own. “You need to go see your father,” she whispered gently. “You don't have to work until tonight, and you need to spend some time with him.”
While you still can, she added mentally, but didn't give voice to her thoughts. It wasn’t that Callie didn't think he had a chance. In fact, she was sure he had the best chance possible with Erica as his surgeon.
Dammit. There was still...that whole thing to deal with.
She liked sex with Arizona so much better than facing down all of this other shit. Judging by the blonde’s actions as of late, she felt the same way.
Arizona’s thoughts lay outside of that realm, Erica Hahn the last thing on her mind. Her stomach twisted in knots, a feeling that had become familiar these last few days. All she wanted to do was forget everything, crawl into bed with Callie and sleep for the next three days. Screw work and responsibility, and screw having to just sit by and watch while her father died.
That last thought made her sit up immediately, blinking sleep from her eyes to try and rid it from her mind. She didn’t want to drift off again thinking like that.
Arizona ran a hand back through her messy curls, resigning herself to being awake. “Mm…you smell nice.” She tilted her head and smiled tiredly down at Callie, reaching over to take her hand.
Callie smirked as she allowed her lover to tug her in closer. “That's a really clever diversionary tactic you’ve got there, sweetie,” she mused. “So original.”
“It had better be. Been working on that one for a while.” Arizona smiled and tugged Callie right in so she could wrap both arms around her waist, resting her cheek against her shoulder. “For the record, you really do smell amazing.” She could have fallen asleep again right then and there, even though they were sitting up. Arizona had her very own Callie-shaped pillow to keep her comfy, and she was pretty sure that’s all she needed.
“There’s still something I want to talk to you about from earlier,” the blonde said after a few seconds of comfortable silence. “But you keep…distracting me.” She smirked into Callie’s shoulder. Clearly, the distractions were welcomed ones.
Callie smiled, closing her eyes with a quiet sigh as she leaned into the warm touch. “So talk,” she whispered, holding the slender body close. She could feel Arizona relax ever so slightly, and rubbed a soothing hand along her lower back. Any moment of peace she could give her partner these days, Callie would bend over backwards to achieve. She hated seeing Arizona stressed and constantly worried, it wasn’t good for her. Ducking her head, Callie pressed a gentle kiss against Arizona’s neck, waiting patiently.
Arizona suddenly felt more than a little nervous. This was kind of a big deal, after all, and she hadn’t even really had time to think about it herself, with everything going on.
Oh boy.
Lifting her head from Callie’s shoulder after a minute, Arizona bit her bottom lip. “Um…” She took in a shaky breath. “I-it’s…about the baby. I…I was talking to my mom this morning, and she said that, um…” She frowned. How exactly was she supposed to say it out loud? It might sound weird.
“Before deploying with the Marines, my brother got his sperm frozen.”
Yep. It sounded weird out loud.
Arizona grimaced. “That came out a little creepier than I wanted it to.”
Callie was quiet for a long moment as she allowed the meaning of those words to sink in. That wasn’t exactly what she had been expecting to hear, it caught her by surprise.
She pulled back a little from the blonde's embrace, smiling slightly as she met Arizona’s nervous blue gaze. “Are you saying what I think you're saying?”
Arizona’s eyes widened. “No! No, I-I’m not saying anything. Nothing’s being said. I’m just…saying. Telling, even. I-I didn’t know, and then she thought I should know, so now I’m just letting you know. You know?” She grimaced again. She sucked at this. “I’m not saying anything. I’m…telling. Information. That was told to me. That’s all. Sharing, even. It doesn’t mean anything. I just...thought you should know.”
Callie grinned. “You're cute.” She leaned across the short distance to place a soft kiss on those irresistible lips. She slowly leaned back, meeting her eyes as she reached up to brush a stray curl behind Arizona's ear. “I'd love to use your brother's frozen sperm to make us a baby.” Callie laughed at the wide-eyed look on the other woman's face. “That's what this...'information' was for, wasn't it? You want us to have a baby that's really ours.” Her grin widened at that thought. “I mean, he was your twin brother, so that's as close to your DNA as we're gonna get. I kinda...really like that, actually.”
Arizona felt a flutter in her stomach again, though it was completely different from the dread she’s been feeling earlier when thinking about her dad.
This was almost…hopeful. Happy. Disbelieving. A whole mess of things she couldn’t quite sort out just yet.
“Baby, you don’t have to say yes,” she replied honestly. “Take time to think about it. It’s only one option. I’d be just as happy if we went a different route, whatever you want to do.” She reached out to take Callie’s hand again. “I don’t want you regretting it o-or thinking it’s morbid or something.”
The brunette watched Arizona quietly for a moment. She cocked her head to the side. “Did he have your eyes?”
Arizona looked surprised again, before just the tiniest of smiles appeared. “Yeah. We both had the same eyes.”
Callie's smile grew. “Then it's him or no one.”
Arizona's own blue eyes began to glisten with her unshed tears. “Calliope...”
Callie squeezed her hand. “I want this baby, our baby, to be as much yours as it’ll be mine. I hope you know that.”
Arizona nodded and laughed breathlessly, feeling a little bit overwhelmed. “I-I honestly didn’t even have time to…to think about it much. I wanted to tell you first, see what you thought, and then...”
They both moved at the same time, grasping tightly onto one another. Arizona wrapped both arms around Callie’s shoulders and hugged her hard. “I love you.” Her voice cracked, and she buried her face into her girlfriend’s neck.
“Me too,” Callie sighed contently as she closed her eyes and snuggled into the other woman's warmth. “Me too.”
***
A little while later, both doctors arrived outside of Colonel Robbins’ room, clad in street clothes for the time being. The only medical thing Arizona hadn’t stuffed into her locker for later was her pager, in case of emergency. Stopping outside the door, she watched Dr. Hahn talking attentively to her parents.
“How weird is this?” Arizona mused to Callie. “Your ex-girlfriend treating my dad for heart failure. I swear this hospital is a magnet for drama.”
Instinctively, she reached over for Callie’s hand, lacing their fingers. Whether it was because it was Callie’s ex-girlfriend standing nearby, or the fact that her father had never looked so pale and weak in his entire life, Arizona wasn’t sure. She just needed to be touching.
Callie welcomed the it, whatever the reason. She kept her dark eyes focused on the scene playing out on the other side of the large glass window, hand squeezing tightly in support. “It's definitely not the...funnest situation for all involved,” she admitted with a small sigh. “But Erica really is the best surgeon your dad could hope for, I promise you that. He’s in good hands.” She had her...issues with Erica, but she couldn't deny the truth. Dr. Hahn was one of the top cardio surgeons in the country.
Arizona nodded mutely. She tried to hold on to that fact as they entered the room together. She didn’t drop Callie’s hand like one might expect her to. It had nothing to do with Erica, however, and everything to do with needing to feel Callie standing next to her, needing to take in her quiet strength just to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
“Hey, old man,” Arizona said with a quiet, loving smile as they arrived at his bedside. She rested her free hand on top of his before looking over at Hahn. “How’s he doing?”
“I’m sick, not senile,” Daniel cut in with a weak chuckle. “You can ask me.”
Arizona shot him a wry smirk. “You’d just lie and tell me you’re peachy keen.” Her gaze flickered back to the other blonde doctor in the room. “How is he?”
Erica flashed a quick glance in Callie's direction before quickly returning her eyes to Arizona. She forced out an uncomfortable smile. “He's doing better than I expected.”
Callie sighed softly from her spot next to her girlfriend, but she didn't say a word. At least some things never change. Erica still had the same bedside manner as she always did.
“But he's a fighter for sure,” Hahn was quick to add as she glanced down at her patient.
Daniel gave a hearty laugh as he looked up at his surgeon. “You know it, doc. I’ve made it this far, I’m too stubborn to give up now.”
Callie found herself smiling as she watched the exchange. It was kind of nice to see the softer side of Erica. One she knew the blonde always had, but rarely showed to anyone else.
Daniel gave a raspy chuckle again. “A Marine doesn’t let something like a little heart defect get him down. We’re programmed to keep going, no matter what.”
As he talked, Arizona watched him carefully. He always, without fail, put on a brave face for everyone around him. He was the fortress of their family, and he would refuse to let anyone think otherwise.
But Arizona knew her father. He was hurting.
“How high is he on the transplant list?” she questioned. “I’m sure if we call UNOS we can-“
“He isn’t on the list,” Erica interrupted. “Not yet. And…I’m not sure he’s going to be.”
Daniel sighed. He’d been hoping Arizona wouldn’t ask that just yet. Not until they had more answers. “Honey-”
Arizona silenced him with a sharp glare.
She got that talent from her mother.
“What do you mean he isn’t on the list?” she asked in an icy tone. “He should have been placed on it weeks ago. At the very least last night when you realized another temporary fix wasn’t going to do anything. Why isn’t he on the list?”
“Honey,” Daniel tried again as he reached up to gently take his daughter's hand. “I'm not on the list because I don't want to be.”
Callie's eyes widened a little as she looked down at her girlfriend's father. “Whaddya mean you ‘don't want to be’? Daniel...”
Colonel Robbins rubbed a hand along the back of his neck, glancing between the group of women hovered around his bedside. “I'm not exactly a young man these days-”
“That's bullshit,” Arizona cut in sharply as she jerked her hand away from his. She quickly shifted her eyes to meet her mother's. “Are you hearing this?”
Maria sighed. “Arizona-”
“No, don’t you ‘Arizona’ me,” the blonde snapped, pointing a finger at her mother. “You of all people should be angrier than I am!”
Erica looked a little uncomfortable. “I’ll give you some time to talk it over,” she began, taking a step toward the door.
“No,” Arizona cut in again, her icy blue eyes leveling on Hahn next. “You can put him on the list, that’s what you can do.”
“Zona,” Daniel tried again. “This isn’t your decision. Besides, even if she puts me on the list, the chances of getting a heart are slim to none at this point.”
Arizona clenched her jaw. “No they’re not, dad. With your condition you’d be near the top, and it might only take a few weeks until-“
“Your father is older,” Erica cut in, figuring she had better just say this bluntly to get it through the daughter’s head. “Yes, he’s in good shape and healthy otherwise, but he’s pushy seventy. UNOS will not give him priority over someone who is younger and more in need. You’re a physician, Dr. Robbins. You know how they work. By the time they get around to considering him, a transplant might not be enough. Which just means they’ll move on to the next person again.”
If it weren’t for Callie standing in the same room as her, Arizona might have lunged at Hahn on reflex. It wasn’t rational, but she needed to channel her sudden and unbearable rage at someone, and the other doctor just happened to be in her line of sight at that moment.
“So you’re just gonna let him die because he’s older?” She did take one step forward, until she felt Callie’s hand on her arm. “The man served his country for fifty years, gave his entire life to protecting others, and the one time he needs help in return you’re just leaving him to die?”
“Arizona,” Callie called softly as she gave a light tug on her arm. She stepped up next to the blonde. “She's not saying that.” She shot another glare towards Erica. “It's not that we want to let him die, but you do know how this works. It's bullshit and...screwed up and pretty much sucks all around, but...” She reached up to place a gentle hand in the small of the other woman's back. “That's just how it is.”
Callie tore her eyes away to meet and hold the gaze of her ex. “But he is going on that list. Not trying isn’t an option.”
Erica was clearly annoyed with Callie. “In order to even try and make that happen, your father has to agree, Dr. Robbins.” Her eyes shifted to Daniel.
So did Arizona’s. “Dad. Think about what you’re doing.” She tried to keep the anger out of her voice, but failed miserably.
Daniel sighed, holding on tightly to his wife’s hand. “No. If I did get a heart, it would be a miracle. But the chances of making it through the surgery and recovery are less than ideal. I want what time I have left to last, I don’t want to end things earlier than necessary.”
Arizona felt as though a knife was thrust into her chest at those words. “Dad-”
“I’ve made up my mind, Arizona,” Daniel interrupted in a stern voice. “That’s the end of it.”
“It’s your father’s decision,” Maria added, her voice clearly resigned.
Arizona looked between Erica, her mother and then her father, searching for any sign of support. She found none. Finally looking to Callie, she saw nothing but sympathy. “No. This is…no.” She tore away from Callie and left the room as quickly as her feet would carry her, not looking back.
“Arizona!” Callie immediately called after her, but the plea fell on deaf ears. With a heavy sigh, she turned back to face the other three occupants of the room helplessly.
Daniel frowned with concern as he met her eyes. “Go,” he whispered raggedly before quickly cutting his own back to the empty doorway.
Callie hesitated, glancing from Daniel to his wife, and then to his surgeon.
Like that was gonna help.
With a frustrated huff, Callie turned and swiftly headed out the door.
***
Teddy jumped upright in bed when the door to the on-call room burst open. She blinked through tired, sleep-filled eyes as a blurry figure breezed into the room without so much as a single knock. “What...huh?”
Arizona just as quickly closed the door behind her, leaning back into it. “Sorry,” she stated, not sounding very much like she was at all. “You’re working a forty-eight hour shift, and you’re sleeping because it’s the only chance you have. I get that, and I’m sorry. But I need your help, please.” There was an audible shake in her voice, and she sounded as though she was barely holding it together.
Teddy groaned sleepily as she struggled to slowly push herself up on the bed, reaching up to rub at her eyes with the palms of her hands. “What?” she sighed tiredly as she tried to blink away the pull of unconsciousness that was still nagging at the back of her mind. “What's the matter?” She dropped them heavily back onto the bed and shifted to dangle her legs over the edge.
Arizona didn’t bother switching the light on; there was enough coming through the small window to not have to blind Teddy with the sudden harsh fluorescent glare.
“I need you to put my dad on the transplant list.”
Teddy blinked and sat up a little straighter. “What?” she repeated a fourth time.
Arizona began to pace the short length of the room. “I need you to put him on the list,” she said again, running a hand back through her hair.
Teddy furrowed her brow. “I thought Hahn was here to take his case?”
“She is,” Arizona said evenly. “But she won’t put him on the list.”
Teddy watched the blonde pace. “And, she’s not…you don’t like her?”
Arizona sighed, stopping in place for a moment. “I’m not forming an opinion, because she used to date my girlfriend, and if I say no it’ll just seem petty and stupid. But…no, I don’t like her.”
Teddy almost grinned a little, but said nothing.
“She’s not even trying to get my father on the list,” Arizona quickly continued, resuming her pacing. “Spouted some stupid crap about ‘he’s too old’. But we give older patients organ transplants all the time, and he is in the best shape of any sixty eight year old man you will ever find on this entire goddamn planet!”
Arizona’s voice shook as she spoke. “He was a Marine his entire life, Teddy. That has to mean something. He deserves a chance.” She stopped again, looking at the other surgeon with pleading, tear-filled eyes. “Please.”
Teddy felt her heart break at the terrified, desperate look on her friend's face. She sighed before reaching up with her right hand to silently motion her over.
Arizona stumbled tiredly towards the bed before falling down in a heap next to Teddy.
Teddy instantly reached over to place a comforting hand on Arizona's shoulder. “Your dad's gonna be fine.”
Arizona snorted as she pulled her legs up onto the bed beneath her. “Do you even believe that?” she shot back.
Teddy sighed. “It's not the best of situations,” she admitted, “but your father's one of the toughest men I've ever met. And I've known some tough men in my time.” She cracked a tiny smile.
Arizona couldn’t find it in her to return the gesture. “Tough people die all the time, from lesser complications than a bad heart.” Even her seemingly permanent super-optimist disposition couldn’t break through the crushing weight on her shoulders right now. Her heart felt like it was being beaten with a baseball bat inside of her chest, and she didn’t know how much more of this she could take. She had to do something, or she’d lose it.
“He still has a chance without a transplant,” Teddy replied gently.
“A good chance?” Arizona looked Teddy square in the eye and got her answer when the other surgeon didn’t answer.
She stared back down at the bed, picking at the sheets with her nails. “Can you review the case, at the very least? I really need someone I can trust in on this. I don’t know Hahn, and Calliope-related issues aside, she hasn’t exactly been inspiring good thoughts in my mind lately.”
Teddy sighed, because she knew hearts weren't the same as children. In peds, it was okay to share the cases around. Spread the love. Everyone wanted to save the sick, tiny little humans.
In cardiothoracics, it was a fucking blood-bath. And that was on a marginally good day.
Dr. Altman sighed again as she dropped her head and then reached up to rub at her brow line. “I think maybe you're looking at this a little too personally.”
Arizona lifted a disbelieving eyebrow as she stared straight at the other woman. “He's my father, Teddy. Of course I'm taking it personally.”
Teddy looked up to meet Arizona’s eyes. “I didn't mean it like that,” she said carefully. “I meant...I-I mean that you're already kind of programmed to not like anything Hahn has to say. About your father or...otherwise.”
“But that’s not it,” Arizona jumped in, growling under her breath. “I swear to God, I know she’s an amazing surgeon, and this has nothing to do with Calliope. But you’d be a fresh set of eyes. You might see something she didn’t, or come up with a new idea, o-or…”
Trailing off, the blonde dropped her face into her hands, feeling exhausted and desperate all over again. “I can’t sit there and watch him die without knowing we’ve tried everything. I know that getting him on that list doesn’t mean someone comes and drops a human heart in your hands automatically, but it’s a start. Please.”
Teddy watched the other woman for a long, quiet moment. Arizona was the most put-together person she knew, and she could see that right now she was beginning to come apart at the seams. It was...unnerving, and it made her decision to help that much easier.
She reached over to gently wrap an arm around her best friend's shoulders, releasing a quiet sigh again as she pulled Arizona in close. “So we get him on the list.” Another brief pause. “Today.”
Arizona closed her eyes and dropped her head against Teddy’s shoulder. “Thank you,” she breathed, honest to god relief flooding through her for the first time in days.
If only it would last.
---
Chapter 8/36
Authors: Faith kennedysbitch & Kye
Pairing: Callie/Arizona, Mark/Lexie
Rating: NC-17
Story Summary: Sequel to Choices. Callie and Arizona make the decision to move forward with their lives, but when a gradual series of events begin to snowball, Arizona tries desperately not to lose her grip on reality.
Chapter Summary: Arizona receives some bad news and turns to a friend for help.
Disclaimer:All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Previous Chapters
---
It was mid-afternoon by the time Arizona mustered up enough energy to get out of bed and shower. An act which just exhausted her all over again, so as soon as she finished and Callie went to take her turn, the blonde passed out cold once more.
When she wasn’t working, they’d have sex. When they stopped having sex, she’d be at the hospital with her parents. And when she left the hospital…
More sex.
It was great. But freaking exhausting.
It was lying on her stomach with a pillow tucked comfortably under her head, drooling, that Callie found Arizona twenty minutes later when she finished her shower. The brunette smiled as she towel-dried her hair and watched her girlfriend's back slowly rise and fall with each shallow breath. She felt her ego inflate just a little in that moment.
It was good to be her.
“Zona,” Callie called softly as she dropped the wet towel to the floor and placed her knee on the edge of the bed. She was wearing her dark jeans and a barely containing black t-shirt. She leaned over, placing a hand on the mattress as she called out again. “Zona, you gotta get up, baby.”
“Mmm…don’t wanna…” Arizona murmured without moving an inch. It came out muffled and distorted by the pillow her face was buried in. Callie poked her in the side, causing Arizona to twitch a little and grunt in annoyance. “Meanie…” Her body didn’t move, but she turned her head on the pillow to face Callie.
And Callie’s cleavage. Arizona’s eyes were barely open, but they were the first thing she saw. A slow, lazy smirk spread across her lips. “Mm...hi there.”
Callie chuckled with a slight roll of her eyes. “Perv.” She leaned down to claim the blonde's lips in a slow, gentle kiss, the best she could manage from that angle. She sighed appreciatively into the contact before reluctantly pulling back, pausing to meet and hold tired blue eyes with her own. “You need to go see your father,” she whispered gently. “You don't have to work until tonight, and you need to spend some time with him.”
While you still can, she added mentally, but didn't give voice to her thoughts. It wasn’t that Callie didn't think he had a chance. In fact, she was sure he had the best chance possible with Erica as his surgeon.
Dammit. There was still...that whole thing to deal with.
She liked sex with Arizona so much better than facing down all of this other shit. Judging by the blonde’s actions as of late, she felt the same way.
Arizona’s thoughts lay outside of that realm, Erica Hahn the last thing on her mind. Her stomach twisted in knots, a feeling that had become familiar these last few days. All she wanted to do was forget everything, crawl into bed with Callie and sleep for the next three days. Screw work and responsibility, and screw having to just sit by and watch while her father died.
That last thought made her sit up immediately, blinking sleep from her eyes to try and rid it from her mind. She didn’t want to drift off again thinking like that.
Arizona ran a hand back through her messy curls, resigning herself to being awake. “Mm…you smell nice.” She tilted her head and smiled tiredly down at Callie, reaching over to take her hand.
Callie smirked as she allowed her lover to tug her in closer. “That's a really clever diversionary tactic you’ve got there, sweetie,” she mused. “So original.”
“It had better be. Been working on that one for a while.” Arizona smiled and tugged Callie right in so she could wrap both arms around her waist, resting her cheek against her shoulder. “For the record, you really do smell amazing.” She could have fallen asleep again right then and there, even though they were sitting up. Arizona had her very own Callie-shaped pillow to keep her comfy, and she was pretty sure that’s all she needed.
“There’s still something I want to talk to you about from earlier,” the blonde said after a few seconds of comfortable silence. “But you keep…distracting me.” She smirked into Callie’s shoulder. Clearly, the distractions were welcomed ones.
Callie smiled, closing her eyes with a quiet sigh as she leaned into the warm touch. “So talk,” she whispered, holding the slender body close. She could feel Arizona relax ever so slightly, and rubbed a soothing hand along her lower back. Any moment of peace she could give her partner these days, Callie would bend over backwards to achieve. She hated seeing Arizona stressed and constantly worried, it wasn’t good for her. Ducking her head, Callie pressed a gentle kiss against Arizona’s neck, waiting patiently.
Arizona suddenly felt more than a little nervous. This was kind of a big deal, after all, and she hadn’t even really had time to think about it herself, with everything going on.
Oh boy.
Lifting her head from Callie’s shoulder after a minute, Arizona bit her bottom lip. “Um…” She took in a shaky breath. “I-it’s…about the baby. I…I was talking to my mom this morning, and she said that, um…” She frowned. How exactly was she supposed to say it out loud? It might sound weird.
“Before deploying with the Marines, my brother got his sperm frozen.”
Yep. It sounded weird out loud.
Arizona grimaced. “That came out a little creepier than I wanted it to.”
Callie was quiet for a long moment as she allowed the meaning of those words to sink in. That wasn’t exactly what she had been expecting to hear, it caught her by surprise.
She pulled back a little from the blonde's embrace, smiling slightly as she met Arizona’s nervous blue gaze. “Are you saying what I think you're saying?”
Arizona’s eyes widened. “No! No, I-I’m not saying anything. Nothing’s being said. I’m just…saying. Telling, even. I-I didn’t know, and then she thought I should know, so now I’m just letting you know. You know?” She grimaced again. She sucked at this. “I’m not saying anything. I’m…telling. Information. That was told to me. That’s all. Sharing, even. It doesn’t mean anything. I just...thought you should know.”
Callie grinned. “You're cute.” She leaned across the short distance to place a soft kiss on those irresistible lips. She slowly leaned back, meeting her eyes as she reached up to brush a stray curl behind Arizona's ear. “I'd love to use your brother's frozen sperm to make us a baby.” Callie laughed at the wide-eyed look on the other woman's face. “That's what this...'information' was for, wasn't it? You want us to have a baby that's really ours.” Her grin widened at that thought. “I mean, he was your twin brother, so that's as close to your DNA as we're gonna get. I kinda...really like that, actually.”
Arizona felt a flutter in her stomach again, though it was completely different from the dread she’s been feeling earlier when thinking about her dad.
This was almost…hopeful. Happy. Disbelieving. A whole mess of things she couldn’t quite sort out just yet.
“Baby, you don’t have to say yes,” she replied honestly. “Take time to think about it. It’s only one option. I’d be just as happy if we went a different route, whatever you want to do.” She reached out to take Callie’s hand again. “I don’t want you regretting it o-or thinking it’s morbid or something.”
The brunette watched Arizona quietly for a moment. She cocked her head to the side. “Did he have your eyes?”
Arizona looked surprised again, before just the tiniest of smiles appeared. “Yeah. We both had the same eyes.”
Callie's smile grew. “Then it's him or no one.”
Arizona's own blue eyes began to glisten with her unshed tears. “Calliope...”
Callie squeezed her hand. “I want this baby, our baby, to be as much yours as it’ll be mine. I hope you know that.”
Arizona nodded and laughed breathlessly, feeling a little bit overwhelmed. “I-I honestly didn’t even have time to…to think about it much. I wanted to tell you first, see what you thought, and then...”
They both moved at the same time, grasping tightly onto one another. Arizona wrapped both arms around Callie’s shoulders and hugged her hard. “I love you.” Her voice cracked, and she buried her face into her girlfriend’s neck.
“Me too,” Callie sighed contently as she closed her eyes and snuggled into the other woman's warmth. “Me too.”
***
A little while later, both doctors arrived outside of Colonel Robbins’ room, clad in street clothes for the time being. The only medical thing Arizona hadn’t stuffed into her locker for later was her pager, in case of emergency. Stopping outside the door, she watched Dr. Hahn talking attentively to her parents.
“How weird is this?” Arizona mused to Callie. “Your ex-girlfriend treating my dad for heart failure. I swear this hospital is a magnet for drama.”
Instinctively, she reached over for Callie’s hand, lacing their fingers. Whether it was because it was Callie’s ex-girlfriend standing nearby, or the fact that her father had never looked so pale and weak in his entire life, Arizona wasn’t sure. She just needed to be touching.
Callie welcomed the it, whatever the reason. She kept her dark eyes focused on the scene playing out on the other side of the large glass window, hand squeezing tightly in support. “It's definitely not the...funnest situation for all involved,” she admitted with a small sigh. “But Erica really is the best surgeon your dad could hope for, I promise you that. He’s in good hands.” She had her...issues with Erica, but she couldn't deny the truth. Dr. Hahn was one of the top cardio surgeons in the country.
Arizona nodded mutely. She tried to hold on to that fact as they entered the room together. She didn’t drop Callie’s hand like one might expect her to. It had nothing to do with Erica, however, and everything to do with needing to feel Callie standing next to her, needing to take in her quiet strength just to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
“Hey, old man,” Arizona said with a quiet, loving smile as they arrived at his bedside. She rested her free hand on top of his before looking over at Hahn. “How’s he doing?”
“I’m sick, not senile,” Daniel cut in with a weak chuckle. “You can ask me.”
Arizona shot him a wry smirk. “You’d just lie and tell me you’re peachy keen.” Her gaze flickered back to the other blonde doctor in the room. “How is he?”
Erica flashed a quick glance in Callie's direction before quickly returning her eyes to Arizona. She forced out an uncomfortable smile. “He's doing better than I expected.”
Callie sighed softly from her spot next to her girlfriend, but she didn't say a word. At least some things never change. Erica still had the same bedside manner as she always did.
“But he's a fighter for sure,” Hahn was quick to add as she glanced down at her patient.
Daniel gave a hearty laugh as he looked up at his surgeon. “You know it, doc. I’ve made it this far, I’m too stubborn to give up now.”
Callie found herself smiling as she watched the exchange. It was kind of nice to see the softer side of Erica. One she knew the blonde always had, but rarely showed to anyone else.
Daniel gave a raspy chuckle again. “A Marine doesn’t let something like a little heart defect get him down. We’re programmed to keep going, no matter what.”
As he talked, Arizona watched him carefully. He always, without fail, put on a brave face for everyone around him. He was the fortress of their family, and he would refuse to let anyone think otherwise.
But Arizona knew her father. He was hurting.
“How high is he on the transplant list?” she questioned. “I’m sure if we call UNOS we can-“
“He isn’t on the list,” Erica interrupted. “Not yet. And…I’m not sure he’s going to be.”
Daniel sighed. He’d been hoping Arizona wouldn’t ask that just yet. Not until they had more answers. “Honey-”
Arizona silenced him with a sharp glare.
She got that talent from her mother.
“What do you mean he isn’t on the list?” she asked in an icy tone. “He should have been placed on it weeks ago. At the very least last night when you realized another temporary fix wasn’t going to do anything. Why isn’t he on the list?”
“Honey,” Daniel tried again as he reached up to gently take his daughter's hand. “I'm not on the list because I don't want to be.”
Callie's eyes widened a little as she looked down at her girlfriend's father. “Whaddya mean you ‘don't want to be’? Daniel...”
Colonel Robbins rubbed a hand along the back of his neck, glancing between the group of women hovered around his bedside. “I'm not exactly a young man these days-”
“That's bullshit,” Arizona cut in sharply as she jerked her hand away from his. She quickly shifted her eyes to meet her mother's. “Are you hearing this?”
Maria sighed. “Arizona-”
“No, don’t you ‘Arizona’ me,” the blonde snapped, pointing a finger at her mother. “You of all people should be angrier than I am!”
Erica looked a little uncomfortable. “I’ll give you some time to talk it over,” she began, taking a step toward the door.
“No,” Arizona cut in again, her icy blue eyes leveling on Hahn next. “You can put him on the list, that’s what you can do.”
“Zona,” Daniel tried again. “This isn’t your decision. Besides, even if she puts me on the list, the chances of getting a heart are slim to none at this point.”
Arizona clenched her jaw. “No they’re not, dad. With your condition you’d be near the top, and it might only take a few weeks until-“
“Your father is older,” Erica cut in, figuring she had better just say this bluntly to get it through the daughter’s head. “Yes, he’s in good shape and healthy otherwise, but he’s pushy seventy. UNOS will not give him priority over someone who is younger and more in need. You’re a physician, Dr. Robbins. You know how they work. By the time they get around to considering him, a transplant might not be enough. Which just means they’ll move on to the next person again.”
If it weren’t for Callie standing in the same room as her, Arizona might have lunged at Hahn on reflex. It wasn’t rational, but she needed to channel her sudden and unbearable rage at someone, and the other doctor just happened to be in her line of sight at that moment.
“So you’re just gonna let him die because he’s older?” She did take one step forward, until she felt Callie’s hand on her arm. “The man served his country for fifty years, gave his entire life to protecting others, and the one time he needs help in return you’re just leaving him to die?”
“Arizona,” Callie called softly as she gave a light tug on her arm. She stepped up next to the blonde. “She's not saying that.” She shot another glare towards Erica. “It's not that we want to let him die, but you do know how this works. It's bullshit and...screwed up and pretty much sucks all around, but...” She reached up to place a gentle hand in the small of the other woman's back. “That's just how it is.”
Callie tore her eyes away to meet and hold the gaze of her ex. “But he is going on that list. Not trying isn’t an option.”
Erica was clearly annoyed with Callie. “In order to even try and make that happen, your father has to agree, Dr. Robbins.” Her eyes shifted to Daniel.
So did Arizona’s. “Dad. Think about what you’re doing.” She tried to keep the anger out of her voice, but failed miserably.
Daniel sighed, holding on tightly to his wife’s hand. “No. If I did get a heart, it would be a miracle. But the chances of making it through the surgery and recovery are less than ideal. I want what time I have left to last, I don’t want to end things earlier than necessary.”
Arizona felt as though a knife was thrust into her chest at those words. “Dad-”
“I’ve made up my mind, Arizona,” Daniel interrupted in a stern voice. “That’s the end of it.”
“It’s your father’s decision,” Maria added, her voice clearly resigned.
Arizona looked between Erica, her mother and then her father, searching for any sign of support. She found none. Finally looking to Callie, she saw nothing but sympathy. “No. This is…no.” She tore away from Callie and left the room as quickly as her feet would carry her, not looking back.
“Arizona!” Callie immediately called after her, but the plea fell on deaf ears. With a heavy sigh, she turned back to face the other three occupants of the room helplessly.
Daniel frowned with concern as he met her eyes. “Go,” he whispered raggedly before quickly cutting his own back to the empty doorway.
Callie hesitated, glancing from Daniel to his wife, and then to his surgeon.
Like that was gonna help.
With a frustrated huff, Callie turned and swiftly headed out the door.
***
Teddy jumped upright in bed when the door to the on-call room burst open. She blinked through tired, sleep-filled eyes as a blurry figure breezed into the room without so much as a single knock. “What...huh?”
Arizona just as quickly closed the door behind her, leaning back into it. “Sorry,” she stated, not sounding very much like she was at all. “You’re working a forty-eight hour shift, and you’re sleeping because it’s the only chance you have. I get that, and I’m sorry. But I need your help, please.” There was an audible shake in her voice, and she sounded as though she was barely holding it together.
Teddy groaned sleepily as she struggled to slowly push herself up on the bed, reaching up to rub at her eyes with the palms of her hands. “What?” she sighed tiredly as she tried to blink away the pull of unconsciousness that was still nagging at the back of her mind. “What's the matter?” She dropped them heavily back onto the bed and shifted to dangle her legs over the edge.
Arizona didn’t bother switching the light on; there was enough coming through the small window to not have to blind Teddy with the sudden harsh fluorescent glare.
“I need you to put my dad on the transplant list.”
Teddy blinked and sat up a little straighter. “What?” she repeated a fourth time.
Arizona began to pace the short length of the room. “I need you to put him on the list,” she said again, running a hand back through her hair.
Teddy furrowed her brow. “I thought Hahn was here to take his case?”
“She is,” Arizona said evenly. “But she won’t put him on the list.”
Teddy watched the blonde pace. “And, she’s not…you don’t like her?”
Arizona sighed, stopping in place for a moment. “I’m not forming an opinion, because she used to date my girlfriend, and if I say no it’ll just seem petty and stupid. But…no, I don’t like her.”
Teddy almost grinned a little, but said nothing.
“She’s not even trying to get my father on the list,” Arizona quickly continued, resuming her pacing. “Spouted some stupid crap about ‘he’s too old’. But we give older patients organ transplants all the time, and he is in the best shape of any sixty eight year old man you will ever find on this entire goddamn planet!”
Arizona’s voice shook as she spoke. “He was a Marine his entire life, Teddy. That has to mean something. He deserves a chance.” She stopped again, looking at the other surgeon with pleading, tear-filled eyes. “Please.”
Teddy felt her heart break at the terrified, desperate look on her friend's face. She sighed before reaching up with her right hand to silently motion her over.
Arizona stumbled tiredly towards the bed before falling down in a heap next to Teddy.
Teddy instantly reached over to place a comforting hand on Arizona's shoulder. “Your dad's gonna be fine.”
Arizona snorted as she pulled her legs up onto the bed beneath her. “Do you even believe that?” she shot back.
Teddy sighed. “It's not the best of situations,” she admitted, “but your father's one of the toughest men I've ever met. And I've known some tough men in my time.” She cracked a tiny smile.
Arizona couldn’t find it in her to return the gesture. “Tough people die all the time, from lesser complications than a bad heart.” Even her seemingly permanent super-optimist disposition couldn’t break through the crushing weight on her shoulders right now. Her heart felt like it was being beaten with a baseball bat inside of her chest, and she didn’t know how much more of this she could take. She had to do something, or she’d lose it.
“He still has a chance without a transplant,” Teddy replied gently.
“A good chance?” Arizona looked Teddy square in the eye and got her answer when the other surgeon didn’t answer.
She stared back down at the bed, picking at the sheets with her nails. “Can you review the case, at the very least? I really need someone I can trust in on this. I don’t know Hahn, and Calliope-related issues aside, she hasn’t exactly been inspiring good thoughts in my mind lately.”
Teddy sighed, because she knew hearts weren't the same as children. In peds, it was okay to share the cases around. Spread the love. Everyone wanted to save the sick, tiny little humans.
In cardiothoracics, it was a fucking blood-bath. And that was on a marginally good day.
Dr. Altman sighed again as she dropped her head and then reached up to rub at her brow line. “I think maybe you're looking at this a little too personally.”
Arizona lifted a disbelieving eyebrow as she stared straight at the other woman. “He's my father, Teddy. Of course I'm taking it personally.”
Teddy looked up to meet Arizona’s eyes. “I didn't mean it like that,” she said carefully. “I meant...I-I mean that you're already kind of programmed to not like anything Hahn has to say. About your father or...otherwise.”
“But that’s not it,” Arizona jumped in, growling under her breath. “I swear to God, I know she’s an amazing surgeon, and this has nothing to do with Calliope. But you’d be a fresh set of eyes. You might see something she didn’t, or come up with a new idea, o-or…”
Trailing off, the blonde dropped her face into her hands, feeling exhausted and desperate all over again. “I can’t sit there and watch him die without knowing we’ve tried everything. I know that getting him on that list doesn’t mean someone comes and drops a human heart in your hands automatically, but it’s a start. Please.”
Teddy watched the other woman for a long, quiet moment. Arizona was the most put-together person she knew, and she could see that right now she was beginning to come apart at the seams. It was...unnerving, and it made her decision to help that much easier.
She reached over to gently wrap an arm around her best friend's shoulders, releasing a quiet sigh again as she pulled Arizona in close. “So we get him on the list.” Another brief pause. “Today.”
Arizona closed her eyes and dropped her head against Teddy’s shoulder. “Thank you,” she breathed, honest to god relief flooding through her for the first time in days.
If only it would last.
---