Brigits_Flame February Entry 04 - Once More, With Feeling!

[kenderlord]

“And… cut!” Amitabh Filmiwalla shakes his head.  It was a bad take.  “No, no, yaar.  Up on your feet again, Javed.”

The mantrik lays his hands on Javed’s corpse and says, “Live!  Live, Javed, live!”  There is a faint humming in the air as he says this.  The one bullet that didn’t form an exit wound pops out of his gut like a champagne cork, and the

Comments

[harlotbug3]

Yeah, this is the writer I know. This is very good but I want to help you make it great. Of course, I also want you to help me...

[kenderlord]

:)

whatcha need? I'm game.
-D

[harlotbug3]

http://harlotbug3.livejournal.com/36923.html

I've finished the ramp to get the ball rolling. I need someone to point out the flaws. It's about 20 pages, so I'll owe you more feedback than usual.