Rough Landings - Chapter 6
Title: Rough Landings - Chapter 6
Rating: NC-17
Author: kelzm1989
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Spoilers: none
Warnings: Rape/non-con
Word Count: 5312
Summary: Based on this prompt: Jensen and Jared live together but Jensen is away on a bussiness trip and Jared is alone at home with their son when a stranger breaks in. Jared is attacked and raped and the son doesn't know what happened but he calls for help. Jensen finds out, he's worried and feeling guilty because when he left, him and Jared were fighting.
Disclaimer: This is pure imagination and let's hope that neither guy ever actually does go through this. I swear I want them to be safe... I just have a bit of a messed up mind, is all ;)
***Authors note: Thanks to everybody for all of your comments and reviews! I can't tell you how much I appreciate them :D I know that there are a lot of really great writers on LJ and I'm honored that you guys are taking the time to read my little story so thanks again! :) And below are my two lovely banners made by hiroyuki_hydex and sam_dean_hot <3
Jensen stood in the hotel bedroom, staring at the closed door and listening as the shower water ran. “What the hell?” He said to himself belatedly as he wondered why in God's name Jared was putting up such a fight about this. Surely, his husband knew that whether or not he liked it, Jensen was going to go down there with him. There was no way that Jensen was going to let that bastard be anywhere near his husband without him present. It didn't matter how many police officers were there or if the two of them would be separated by a plate of one-way glass, that just simply wasn't going to happen. Striding up to the door, Jensen tried to turn the knob but found that it was locked. “Son of a bitch!” He muttered. “Jared, open the door!” Jensen shouted as he pounded on the closed wood. “Jay, come on, open the frickin' door!” When he got no response from his husband, Jensen paced away from the door and resigned himself to having to wait until Jared came out of the bathroom. Maybe then he'd be able to talk some sense into him.
~JA/JP-A~
Jared stood in the shower stall, the scalding hot water raining down on him mixing with his angry tears as he scrubbed his skin raw. Jared was trying his best to get rid of that bastard's touch, every time he thought about it he could still feel the man's hands on his skin and his breath on the back of his neck. The thought of having to be in a room again with the man sent tendrils of fear down his spine. Logically, he knew that there would be police officers separating them from each other but he felt as if he even just saw the man, he would be tainted again. And what if he managed to get away from the cops, what then?
Collapsing into sobs, Jared folded himself into one of the corners of the tub and cried, wishing that he could just forget what had happened. He knew Jensen was standing outside the door, he could hear him cursing and trying the lock but Jared couldn't let him in. He didn't want Jensen to see what a mess he was, he didn't want Jensen to see how much this was affecting him or how scared Jared was at the thought of having to go down to the station. He was afraid that if he let Jensen see then he'd realize that he was no longer the same man he'd married and probably would never be that man again. Why didn't he just kill me? Jared thought as a part of him wished he was dead because then, at least he wouldn't be hurting like he was.
~JA/JP-A~
It was close to an hour later when Jared finally emerged from the bathroom, dressed and pointedly not looking at his husband. Jared was scared that if he did make eye contact then Jensen would be able to see just how nervous and vulnerable he felt right now.
Jensen watched as Jared looked around for his wallet. “I'm going with you.” He stated firmly, walking to stand beside his husband and unintentionally blocking the path to the door.
“No Jensen, you're not.” Jared argued, putting his wallet in his pants pocket. “I'll... I'll see you in a bit.” He didn't want to leave this room and go down there but he knew he had to and preferably, before he chickened out.
“Yeah Jay, I am.” Jensen countered. “I'm not letting you go down there by yourself.” Jensen didn't know what this would do to Jared, what kind of shape he'd be in afterwards and the thought of Jared going through it alone... no, he wasn't going to let that happen. Not again.
“Why is this so hard for you? I don't want you down there!” Jared yelled, knowing that at least that part was true. “I don't... I don't need you!”
Jensen reeled back as if he'd been slapped. He kind of thought that he would have preferred that.
Jared realized a second too late what he'd said and he tried to correct it. “Jen, I'm sorry... I didn't mean it like that.” He said, moving to reach out for the other man.
Jensen shook his head in disbelief as he stepped back out of Jared's reach. “Fine, you don't need me then go by yourself.” Jensen nodded, his jaw clenched tightly in anger but his green eyes revealed just how hurt he was by Jared's declaration.
“Jen,” Jared repeated as tears filled his eyes. He didn't know why he'd said that or why he was currently putting up such a big fight over it. He did need his husband and he definitely hadn't meant to hurt him like that. I don't know what's going on with me Jared thought to himself.
“I said go Jared.” Jensen responded, his voice cold and containing none of the compassion or protectiveness that had been there just a few moments ago.
Tears falling down his face, Jared nodded. “I'm sorry.” He apologized before he turned on his heel and headed out of the room, closing it quietly behind himself.
I don't need you repeated itself through Jensen's mind as he slowly sank to sit down on the edge of the nearest bed. Jensen felt immensely hurt by his husband's words even though a part of him knew that it was the anger talking. But even knowing that caused a deep ache to form in the pit of his stomach. He only wanted to help Jared, to look after him and make sure that they got through this but it felt like Jared was just pushing him away. Sure, they had taken minor baby steps when Jared allowed Jensen to stay during the police questioning or allowing him to hold him at night but at every other turn, Jared had either asked him to leave or non-verbally expressed that he didn't want Jensen there and that hurt. He was Jared's husband, the person that he was supposed to look to for support, not turn away from.
“God dammit!” He shouted angrily as he stood and forcefully kicked the mattress that he had been sitting on, making the edge of it hit the nightstand and topple over. He was angry at the world, at himself, and though he didn't really want to admit it, a part of him was mad at Jared. He was mad that someone out there thought that his family, his husband deserved to have this happen to them. He was mad at himself for not being able to prevent it and he was mad at Jared for hiding himself away and locking his own husband out when all he wanted to do was help him. Jensen continued to stand there and seethe until he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and when he pulled it out, he saw 'Mom' on his caller ID.
Jensen was most definitely not in the mood to talk to her, or anyone really, but he knew that Tyler was with her and the dad in him realized that he had to make sure that his son was okay. He has to be, I can't deal with anything else right now Jensen thought to himself as he answered. “Yeah?” He asked tiredly.
“Jensen?” Donna asked, hearing the weary tone in her son's voice. She thought it was almost worse than the panicked, scared, and angry tone of voice he'd had when he had called her and Alan in the middle of the night a little over a week ago.
“Yeah, mom it's me. Something wrong with Ty?” Jensen asked, his voice short and clipped.
Donna shook her head even though Jensen couldn't see it. “No, no... I just wanted to call and see how you were doing. Neither you or Jared looked too well this morning.”
“How do you think I'm doing mom?” Jensen asked, irritation slipping into his voice now as he continued to stare at the door that Jared had walked through moments earlier. “Look, I'm sorry... I just... Jared needs me, I gotta go.” He excused himself as he pulled the phone away from his ear and shut it off. He does need me Jensen told himself as his emotions finally began to simmer. Fuck it he thought, grabbing up his car keys and heading towards the door. He had told Jared that he wasn't going down there alone and Jensen was going to make damn sure that he stayed true to his word.
~JA/JP-A~
Jensen sped through the streets, not even caring if he got a ticket for going twice the speed limit right now. He was angry and though it didn't really accomplish anything, pushing the gas pedal to the floor let out a bit of his anger. Jensen was thankful that it was during a time of day where the streets weren't as crowded as they normally were since he wasn't in the mood to put up with “Sunday drivers”. He had been hoping when he'd left his hotel room that maybe, just maybe Jared hadn't actually gotten into a cab but unfortunately, his husband hadn't been anywhere in sight. Jensen was kicking himself right now because as much as Jared saying he didn't need him hurt, he knew his husband's pain was ten times worse.
God dammit Jared! Where are you? Jensen thought as his eyes scoured the sidewalks the closer he got to the police station. He was really hoping to catch him before he went inside that place. Finally, he spotted his husband's tall frame climbing out of one of the yellow taxis that was up ahead. Sliding into an open spot, Jensen jerked the keys out of the ignition and scrambled out of the car. “Jared!” He shouted, watching as a man he did but didn't recognize headed towards the stone steps.
~JA/JP-A~
Jared heard someone shouting his name and when he turned around, he was surprised to see Jensen standing about thirty feet from him. He followed me Jared thought, as he looked anywhere but in Jensen's direction. He didn't know what to say or do even though a part of him had hoped that Jensen would follow him to the station. He didn't know why he'd said the things he'd said but he was relieved that it hadn't chased Jensen away, that the continuing impact of his attack hadn't made his husband leave. “Jensen,” He responded, his voice quiet and shaky. “What... what are you doing here?” He asked, watching as Jensen took the final steps to reach him.
“I told you that you weren't going to come down here alone and I meant it.” Jensen answered as he stood in front of his husband. “Jesus Christ Jay, how could you think I'd let you come down here alone?”
Jared shrugged as he looked away, biting his lip nervously. He guessed that a part of him had known that there was no way that Jensen was going to allow it... no matter how much Jared wanted him to. When he was being protective or at least thought he was, Jensen could be like a dog with a bone... he just wouldn't stop or back off until he knew for sure that it was going to be okay. I don't think I'll ever be okay again Jared thought sadly to himself. He had been putting up a front and acting for the past two days since he'd been home but deep down, inside he didn't know if he would ever be able to move past this. He was without a doubt changed man and Jared hated the man that he'd become... all because of one man's selfish and brutal act.
Watching as Jared dropped his gaze to study their feet, Jensen wasn't sure where to go from here himself. He knew that they had to go inside but he didn't necessarily want to suggest that because after all, going in there would mean that they might very well have to see Jared's rapist. That guy is damn lucky that he's surrounded by cops Jensen thought to himself. Jensen wanted to beat the guy to death, he wanted to break every bone in the man's body for what he'd done to Jared. Christ Jensen thought as all of the things that he'd love to do to the sick pervert circled through his head. He hadn't really ever been a violent person but the rage he felt right now, it was almost overpowering.
The two of them stood in silence for a while before Jensen finally coughed and cleared his throat. “Let's go get this done with, okay?” He asked, reaching out for Jared's hand and hoping that he would take it.
Jared nodded and took Jensen's hand though he still didn't look up, his guilt and nerves weighing heavily on him. He didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve to have Jensen's support and love... not after the cruel things that he'd spouted earlier that morning.
~JA/JP-A~
The inside of the police station wasn't what Jensen had expected. He had been expecting a gray and depressing building on the inside with inmates lined up by the walls and people shouting constantly and trying to make threats. Instead, the front office was nicely furnished and the walls were painted a bright white. Off to the side he could see some inmates with shackles around either their hands or feet being led through different doors but the place looked surprisingly professional. It still set him on edge though knowing just who was possibly somewhere inside the place and that made him tug Jared just that bit closer to him. No one, no one but him was ever putting their hands on his husband ever again, that was for sure. “C'mon,” He muttered as he led the way over to what looked like the receptionist's desk.
Jared mutely followed Jensen, his eyes constantly scanning the room as he tried to spot where that man was. He could hear his husband talking to the woman sitting at the desk but he wasn't actually processing the conversation. All he could focus on was the terrified feeling he got when he thought about why he was there and what he had to do. Looking around now, he wasn't sure how he ever thought he could do this alone. He felt like an ass for the way he had treated Jensen this morning but he was just grateful that Jensen hadn't let it stop him from being there. I'll make it up to him, I will Jared thought to himself. He'd make all of it up to Jensen, this morning, the fact that he'd let this happen in the first place... he'd make it all up to him.
“She said we gotta go up to the 3rd floor,” Jensen instructed, leaving out the part that said that that was the unit of the detectives who specialized in sex crimes. The woman had looked at Jensen and then at Jared with pity in her eyes and Jensen didn't think that his husband needed any more reminders of what had been done to him. “And they'll tell us what to do from there.”
Jared nodded quietly.
Jensen sighed as he stopped outside the elevator without pressing any of the buttons. “Baby say something, you're scaring me.” Jensen said softly, standing close to Jared so that no one else in this busy place heard them. Reaching out with his free hand, Jensen gently brushed some of Jared's bangs back from his forehead.
“I'm so sorry,” Jared replied, his bottom lip trembling as his face fell.
“Shh,” Jensen shook his head as he pulled Jared closer to him. “Don't say that Jay, you've got nothing to be sorry for.” He soothed, thinking that Jared was apologizing once again for them having to go through this. Jensen hoped that it wouldn't be too long before Jared realized that there was only one person responsible for this whole mess and that it wasn't him.
Jared shook his head no as he stepped back a little. “No, I... this morning... I don't know why I said that but I didn't meant it, I'm so sorry.” He apologized as he held tightly to Jensen's hand. “And I'm so glad you're here Jen. I... I don't want to do this.” Jared looked absolutely terrified and it made anger pump through Jensen, fast and furiously. No one had the right to put that look on Jared's face, ever, and this bastard was about to find that out. Whoever this man was, whoever he thought he was, he was about to learn that even if Jensen Ackles wasn't a man loaded with money or power, he was a man who would protect his family with his dying breath.
“It's okay Jay,” Jensen nodded though a part of him was still feeling the sting of their earlier fight. Now though, here in the middle of the police station with his husband looking like a frightened animal backed into a corner was not the place to have that conversation. “I won't leave you, I promise. I'll never leave you.” He smiled gently, trying to reassure Jared. When Jared nodded back at him and looked like he was slightly calmer, Jensen stepped forward and pressed the button to open the elevator, never once letting go of Jared's hand.
~JA/JP-A~
After stepping out of the elevator, Jensen led the way down a long hall that led to a set of double doors that had 'Special Victims Unit' stenciled on the glass. Here we go he thought, hoping that either one of the detectives that he and Jared were at least somewhat familiar with was in the office right now.
“Mr. Ackles!” Jensen breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Detective Peter's voice calling out for him and Jared. “Finally you showed up, called you over two hours ago.” The detective muttered impatiently.
“Hey, got here as fast as we could.” Jensen defended. It wasn't like coming down to the station to ID the person who attacked you was an easy thing to do.
“I know, I'm sorry... it's just that well, we've gotta make sure that we arraign him in time.” Detective Peters explained as he motioned Jared and Jensen towards his desk.
“Well, we're here now so what happens next?” Jensen asked, casting a quick glance at his husband. He knew from the gray color of his husband's face and how sweaty Jared's hand was in his that he would be the one doing the talking today. Jared was clearly, and understandably, a nervous wreck.
“I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to wait out here and Jared, I need you to come with me.” Detective Peters ordered just as a man with graying hair and wearing an expensive looking suit came walking up to the three of them.
Jared turned to look at Jensen, tears filling his eyes as he minutely shook his head no. Jensen was the only reason he had even stepped inside the building, Jared had seriously been contemplating just walking away and disappearing when Jensen had showed up. He didn't know how they expected him to be able to face his attacker without him. “Jen,” He whispered shakily.
Standing from the chair he had been sitting in, Jensen pulled his husband up with him and tugged him close. “It's going to be okay Jare,” He soothed even as he clutched Jared tightly to himself. He didn't want to let Jared go and have to go back there, wherever this room was, by himself. “You can do this baby, you can and I'll be waiting for you, right here, I promise.” Jensen looked over Jared's shoulder to glare at the detective and the other man that he hadn't met yet. Couldn't they see that Jared needed him?
Jared pulled back from the hug, his hazel eyes shiny with tears and a look of worry on his face. He wanted Jensen back there with him, he wanted to feel Jensen's hand in his and yet, at the same time he was mildly grateful that Jensen wasn't allowed back there. He still didn't want Jensen to see the man who had done this, Jensen didn't need those images in his head. Jared wrapped his arms protectively around himself, trying to form some amount of strength so that he would be able to get through this on his own.
“All you have to do Jay is say what number he's holding up and then you can come back out here to me and we'll go back to the hotel, alright baby?” Jensen tried to encourage as he held Jared by the arms, gently rubbing them. He refused to believe that the man who had attacked Jared was still a free person, roaming around the city to do as he pleased.
Swallowing, Jared nodded as he tried his best to dry his eyes and man up. There were cops all around and they weren't even really going to be in the same room, he shouldn't be getting so upset over this he told himself. “I'll see you in a few.” He said, looking at Jensen hopefully.
Jensen nodded. “I'll be right here.” He repeated as he retook a seat on the chair just to prove his point even if sitting down and waiting for Jared was the last thing he felt like doing at that moment. No, what he wanted to do was follow Jared into the room and hold his husband close, shielding him from the bastard's view. It's one way glass Jensen reminded himself though that didn't help much. He still wanted to be with Jared instead of sitting at the detectives' desk.
~JA/JP-A~
Jared returned with Detective Peters and the man in the expensive suit about twenty minutes later causing Jensen to jump up and hurry over to them the second he saw the small group. “Baby?” He asked as he gently cradled Jared's pale face in his hands.
Jared didn't respond, just stepped closer to Jensen to bury his face in his husband's neck.
“Shh baby, you're safe. I've got you.” Jensen reassured as he gently stroked Jared's back, pressing small kisses to his temple every few minutes. Lifting his head to look at the detective, Jensen silently asked if Jared had been able to provide them with an ID. Jensen felt his knees nearly go out when both men nodded yes. It was a relief to know that the man had been captured but it was also very frightening to know that they were in the same building. “What...” Jensen licked his lips nervously. “What happens now?” He asked with his arms still locked around Jared's hunched form. He didn't think that the jaws of life could pry his arms away from his husband right now.
“Let's go to my office, we can talk there.” The man in the expensive suit suggested
“I'm sorry but you are?” Jensen asked, irritated, on edge, and ready to kill the next person who pissed him off. He was done being Mr. Nice Guy, especially when he was holding his trembling husband in his arms.
“Sorry, I'm Jeff Heathrow. I'm the one who will be prosecuting your husband's attacker.” He extended a hand to Jensen and they shook, Jensen still with an angry look on his face. “So, should we go to my office?” He asked.
Jensen paused. He wasn't sure whether he should take Jared back to the hotel and get him out of this freakin' place already or if they should both go talk to the DA. His decision was made for him when Jared straightened back up and wiped his eyes. “Hey baby,” Jensen said softly, giving Jared a small smile as he tried to read just where Jared's head was at.
“Hey,” Jared replied, his voice hoarse but Jensen could see the determination in his eyes. He wasn't sure whether to be proud of it and the fact that Jared had that look or if that meant it was going to be a repeat of this morning when Jared had tried to hide how hurt he was and acted on autopilot. “How... how long do you think this'll take?” Jared asked as he turned to face Jeff. He had told Tyler that he would be at the hotel when he came back from swimming and he wasn't prepared to disappoint his little boy. Not after everything else that had happened recently.
“Shouldn't take more than an hour... maybe an hour and a half at the most.” Jeff answered. He knew that they didn't have to discuss all of the details today since he would have time before the trial to do that but he did want to get the majority of the discussion out of the way. With the amount of evidence that they had on this creep, he wasn't worried about him going anywhere anytime soon.
Jared nodded as he turned to Jensen. “Do you know when they're gonna be back?” He asked.
Jensen instantly knew who Jared was talking about and he shook his head no. “My mom called earlier but I was kind of in a rush so...” Jensen drifted off, feeling guilty for the way he'd snapped at his mom this morning. It wasn't her fault that he had been in such a bad and angry mood. After all, since she had arrived, Donna had done everything she could to help them out. Sighing, Jensen knew that he was going to have to apologize to her this afternoon when they dropped Tyler off.
Biting his lip, Jared nodded thoughtfully. “Come with us?” He asked, looking hopefully at his husband.
Jensen nodded, glad that Jared was asking him for his company. That could only be considered to be a good thing and right now, he'd take everything he could get. “Of course.” He responded, not caring what the procedures were. There was no way they were going to make him sit and wait at the detectives' desk for this.
~JA/JP-A~
Both Jared and Jensen were silent during the drive back to the hotel after speaking to Detective Peters and ADA Heathrow. They had learned that the perpetrator, Kevin Montgomery, had been caught in the act by his sixth's victim's boyfriend who had returned home earlier than planned from his trip. The boyfriend had managed to detain him until the police could arrive and take him into custody. If only I had been earlier Jensen thought as his hands tightened around the steering wheel, wishing that it was him who had come home early. He just hoped that the guy had given the bastard one hell of a right hook. Jensen thought if it was him who had walked into the room, he would have beaten the guy to death... screw calling the cops.
The ADA had also told them that Mr. Montgomery was going to be arraigned and held in the county jail until it was time for his trial. Jensen had been worried that maybe the guy would be granted bail but he had been reassured that no judge in his right mind would let a man with those types of charges go, especially one that was considered to be a flight risk. The ADA had also explained to Jensen and Jared that they were still unclear on how the suspect got into each victim's house as all of them had sworn that they'd locked up before going to bed and there hadn't been any missing keys. Jensen hadn't liked hearing that the guy had somehow gained access to all six homes but at the same time, he hoped that hearing and knowing that Jared wasn't his only victim would reassure his husband... even a tiny bit.
After that had been taken care of, ADA Heathrow had explained to them what the trial process would be like and how long he was expecting it to take. Jared had near had a heart attack when the man had said that he would likely call on all of the victims to testify, including Jared. They had left shortly after that and Jensen was worried about what state of mind his husband was in right now. If Jared had looked terrified before he had gone in for the ID, he looked completely and utterly lost now. It wasn't a look that Jensen liked seeing on the other man's face.
“How ya doing baby?” Jensen asked quietly and hoping that Jared would answer him. His husband hadn't said a word since they'd left the station. “Jare?”
“I'm fine,” Jared replied a few minutes later, his gaze still directed away from Jensen.
No, you're not Jensen silently argued. He didn't buy for a second that Jared was alright. “Jay,” He sighed, wondering how he could get Jared to admit that he wasn't okay.
“I said I'm fine Jensen so drop it.” Jared said angrily.
Huffing, Jensen decided to back off... for now. As much as he wanted Jared to open up and talk to him, he didn't want to back him into a corner either so he let the subject drop. He just hoped that soon, very soon Jared would start talking to him again. “If you're feeling tired then I can call my parents and ask 'em to take Ty for the night. I'm sure they won't mind.”
Jared turned his head to glare at Jensen. “I'm perfectly okay to take care of our son Jensen,” He said stiffly. “And besides, I promised Tyler he could see us after swimming. I'm not breaking that promise.”
“Okay, okay... never mind,” Jensen surrendered before silence once again fell between the two of them.
~JA/JP-A~
As soon as they got back to the hotel, Jared headed into the bathroom without saying a single word. Jensen watched his husband go and it made his hands curl into fists at the depressed look that Jared was carrying. He hated that instead of being warm and open, Jared's eyes were haunted and empty. He wanted his husband back but more than that, he wanted for Jared to look at him and not just try to pretend like things were okay and that they were just on some vacation. Looking around the room, Jensen saw that it was in the same state that he'd left it in this morning. The bed was askew from when he had kicked it and it instantly made him feel shaky. It felt too familiar and Jensen scrambled to right the mattress before he lost his stomach contents. He felt tears sting his eyes at the fact that a misaligned mattress made him think about that night. If something as small as that could trigger his memory then how in the world was Jared going to handle this? How in the world were they ever going to find a way to work passed this when his husband wouldn't even look at him unless either he was crying his eyes out or if Tyler was in the room. Somebody help me out here please because I'm trying but I don't know what to do he silently prayed, hoping with everything he had that somebody would hear his plea and answer.
chapter 7: http://kelzm1989.livejournal.com/2011/03/31/
-------------------------------------------------------
Hey, so yeah... apparently I am sticking with writing this story for now (not that that's a bad thing). I don't know... the other two, I've kind of hit a writer's block with them so... Anyways, thanks for stopping by and reading the chapter! I hope everyone enjoyed it and the little tidbits of information that we gained about Jared's rapist. It wasn't as much as I originally wanted to include or thought I would but there will continue to be information about him so I guess it all works out. Please let me know what you guys thought and I will try to update next week. Thanks again! :)
Rating: NC-17
Author: kelzm1989
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Spoilers: none
Warnings: Rape/non-con
Word Count: 5312
Summary: Based on this prompt: Jensen and Jared live together but Jensen is away on a bussiness trip and Jared is alone at home with their son when a stranger breaks in. Jared is attacked and raped and the son doesn't know what happened but he calls for help. Jensen finds out, he's worried and feeling guilty because when he left, him and Jared were fighting.
Disclaimer: This is pure imagination and let's hope that neither guy ever actually does go through this. I swear I want them to be safe... I just have a bit of a messed up mind, is all ;)
***Authors note: Thanks to everybody for all of your comments and reviews! I can't tell you how much I appreciate them :D I know that there are a lot of really great writers on LJ and I'm honored that you guys are taking the time to read my little story so thanks again! :) And below are my two lovely banners made by hiroyuki_hydex and sam_dean_hot <3
Jensen stood in the hotel bedroom, staring at the closed door and listening as the shower water ran. “What the hell?” He said to himself belatedly as he wondered why in God's name Jared was putting up such a fight about this. Surely, his husband knew that whether or not he liked it, Jensen was going to go down there with him. There was no way that Jensen was going to let that bastard be anywhere near his husband without him present. It didn't matter how many police officers were there or if the two of them would be separated by a plate of one-way glass, that just simply wasn't going to happen. Striding up to the door, Jensen tried to turn the knob but found that it was locked. “Son of a bitch!” He muttered. “Jared, open the door!” Jensen shouted as he pounded on the closed wood. “Jay, come on, open the frickin' door!” When he got no response from his husband, Jensen paced away from the door and resigned himself to having to wait until Jared came out of the bathroom. Maybe then he'd be able to talk some sense into him.
~JA/JP-A~
Jared stood in the shower stall, the scalding hot water raining down on him mixing with his angry tears as he scrubbed his skin raw. Jared was trying his best to get rid of that bastard's touch, every time he thought about it he could still feel the man's hands on his skin and his breath on the back of his neck. The thought of having to be in a room again with the man sent tendrils of fear down his spine. Logically, he knew that there would be police officers separating them from each other but he felt as if he even just saw the man, he would be tainted again. And what if he managed to get away from the cops, what then?
Collapsing into sobs, Jared folded himself into one of the corners of the tub and cried, wishing that he could just forget what had happened. He knew Jensen was standing outside the door, he could hear him cursing and trying the lock but Jared couldn't let him in. He didn't want Jensen to see what a mess he was, he didn't want Jensen to see how much this was affecting him or how scared Jared was at the thought of having to go down to the station. He was afraid that if he let Jensen see then he'd realize that he was no longer the same man he'd married and probably would never be that man again. Why didn't he just kill me? Jared thought as a part of him wished he was dead because then, at least he wouldn't be hurting like he was.
~JA/JP-A~
It was close to an hour later when Jared finally emerged from the bathroom, dressed and pointedly not looking at his husband. Jared was scared that if he did make eye contact then Jensen would be able to see just how nervous and vulnerable he felt right now.
Jensen watched as Jared looked around for his wallet. “I'm going with you.” He stated firmly, walking to stand beside his husband and unintentionally blocking the path to the door.
“No Jensen, you're not.” Jared argued, putting his wallet in his pants pocket. “I'll... I'll see you in a bit.” He didn't want to leave this room and go down there but he knew he had to and preferably, before he chickened out.
“Yeah Jay, I am.” Jensen countered. “I'm not letting you go down there by yourself.” Jensen didn't know what this would do to Jared, what kind of shape he'd be in afterwards and the thought of Jared going through it alone... no, he wasn't going to let that happen. Not again.
“Why is this so hard for you? I don't want you down there!” Jared yelled, knowing that at least that part was true. “I don't... I don't need you!”
Jensen reeled back as if he'd been slapped. He kind of thought that he would have preferred that.
Jared realized a second too late what he'd said and he tried to correct it. “Jen, I'm sorry... I didn't mean it like that.” He said, moving to reach out for the other man.
Jensen shook his head in disbelief as he stepped back out of Jared's reach. “Fine, you don't need me then go by yourself.” Jensen nodded, his jaw clenched tightly in anger but his green eyes revealed just how hurt he was by Jared's declaration.
“Jen,” Jared repeated as tears filled his eyes. He didn't know why he'd said that or why he was currently putting up such a big fight over it. He did need his husband and he definitely hadn't meant to hurt him like that. I don't know what's going on with me Jared thought to himself.
“I said go Jared.” Jensen responded, his voice cold and containing none of the compassion or protectiveness that had been there just a few moments ago.
Tears falling down his face, Jared nodded. “I'm sorry.” He apologized before he turned on his heel and headed out of the room, closing it quietly behind himself.
I don't need you repeated itself through Jensen's mind as he slowly sank to sit down on the edge of the nearest bed. Jensen felt immensely hurt by his husband's words even though a part of him knew that it was the anger talking. But even knowing that caused a deep ache to form in the pit of his stomach. He only wanted to help Jared, to look after him and make sure that they got through this but it felt like Jared was just pushing him away. Sure, they had taken minor baby steps when Jared allowed Jensen to stay during the police questioning or allowing him to hold him at night but at every other turn, Jared had either asked him to leave or non-verbally expressed that he didn't want Jensen there and that hurt. He was Jared's husband, the person that he was supposed to look to for support, not turn away from.
“God dammit!” He shouted angrily as he stood and forcefully kicked the mattress that he had been sitting on, making the edge of it hit the nightstand and topple over. He was angry at the world, at himself, and though he didn't really want to admit it, a part of him was mad at Jared. He was mad that someone out there thought that his family, his husband deserved to have this happen to them. He was mad at himself for not being able to prevent it and he was mad at Jared for hiding himself away and locking his own husband out when all he wanted to do was help him. Jensen continued to stand there and seethe until he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and when he pulled it out, he saw 'Mom' on his caller ID.
Jensen was most definitely not in the mood to talk to her, or anyone really, but he knew that Tyler was with her and the dad in him realized that he had to make sure that his son was okay. He has to be, I can't deal with anything else right now Jensen thought to himself as he answered. “Yeah?” He asked tiredly.
“Jensen?” Donna asked, hearing the weary tone in her son's voice. She thought it was almost worse than the panicked, scared, and angry tone of voice he'd had when he had called her and Alan in the middle of the night a little over a week ago.
“Yeah, mom it's me. Something wrong with Ty?” Jensen asked, his voice short and clipped.
Donna shook her head even though Jensen couldn't see it. “No, no... I just wanted to call and see how you were doing. Neither you or Jared looked too well this morning.”
“How do you think I'm doing mom?” Jensen asked, irritation slipping into his voice now as he continued to stare at the door that Jared had walked through moments earlier. “Look, I'm sorry... I just... Jared needs me, I gotta go.” He excused himself as he pulled the phone away from his ear and shut it off. He does need me Jensen told himself as his emotions finally began to simmer. Fuck it he thought, grabbing up his car keys and heading towards the door. He had told Jared that he wasn't going down there alone and Jensen was going to make damn sure that he stayed true to his word.
~JA/JP-A~
Jensen sped through the streets, not even caring if he got a ticket for going twice the speed limit right now. He was angry and though it didn't really accomplish anything, pushing the gas pedal to the floor let out a bit of his anger. Jensen was thankful that it was during a time of day where the streets weren't as crowded as they normally were since he wasn't in the mood to put up with “Sunday drivers”. He had been hoping when he'd left his hotel room that maybe, just maybe Jared hadn't actually gotten into a cab but unfortunately, his husband hadn't been anywhere in sight. Jensen was kicking himself right now because as much as Jared saying he didn't need him hurt, he knew his husband's pain was ten times worse.
God dammit Jared! Where are you? Jensen thought as his eyes scoured the sidewalks the closer he got to the police station. He was really hoping to catch him before he went inside that place. Finally, he spotted his husband's tall frame climbing out of one of the yellow taxis that was up ahead. Sliding into an open spot, Jensen jerked the keys out of the ignition and scrambled out of the car. “Jared!” He shouted, watching as a man he did but didn't recognize headed towards the stone steps.
~JA/JP-A~
Jared heard someone shouting his name and when he turned around, he was surprised to see Jensen standing about thirty feet from him. He followed me Jared thought, as he looked anywhere but in Jensen's direction. He didn't know what to say or do even though a part of him had hoped that Jensen would follow him to the station. He didn't know why he'd said the things he'd said but he was relieved that it hadn't chased Jensen away, that the continuing impact of his attack hadn't made his husband leave. “Jensen,” He responded, his voice quiet and shaky. “What... what are you doing here?” He asked, watching as Jensen took the final steps to reach him.
“I told you that you weren't going to come down here alone and I meant it.” Jensen answered as he stood in front of his husband. “Jesus Christ Jay, how could you think I'd let you come down here alone?”
Jared shrugged as he looked away, biting his lip nervously. He guessed that a part of him had known that there was no way that Jensen was going to allow it... no matter how much Jared wanted him to. When he was being protective or at least thought he was, Jensen could be like a dog with a bone... he just wouldn't stop or back off until he knew for sure that it was going to be okay. I don't think I'll ever be okay again Jared thought sadly to himself. He had been putting up a front and acting for the past two days since he'd been home but deep down, inside he didn't know if he would ever be able to move past this. He was without a doubt changed man and Jared hated the man that he'd become... all because of one man's selfish and brutal act.
Watching as Jared dropped his gaze to study their feet, Jensen wasn't sure where to go from here himself. He knew that they had to go inside but he didn't necessarily want to suggest that because after all, going in there would mean that they might very well have to see Jared's rapist. That guy is damn lucky that he's surrounded by cops Jensen thought to himself. Jensen wanted to beat the guy to death, he wanted to break every bone in the man's body for what he'd done to Jared. Christ Jensen thought as all of the things that he'd love to do to the sick pervert circled through his head. He hadn't really ever been a violent person but the rage he felt right now, it was almost overpowering.
The two of them stood in silence for a while before Jensen finally coughed and cleared his throat. “Let's go get this done with, okay?” He asked, reaching out for Jared's hand and hoping that he would take it.
Jared nodded and took Jensen's hand though he still didn't look up, his guilt and nerves weighing heavily on him. He didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve to have Jensen's support and love... not after the cruel things that he'd spouted earlier that morning.
~JA/JP-A~
The inside of the police station wasn't what Jensen had expected. He had been expecting a gray and depressing building on the inside with inmates lined up by the walls and people shouting constantly and trying to make threats. Instead, the front office was nicely furnished and the walls were painted a bright white. Off to the side he could see some inmates with shackles around either their hands or feet being led through different doors but the place looked surprisingly professional. It still set him on edge though knowing just who was possibly somewhere inside the place and that made him tug Jared just that bit closer to him. No one, no one but him was ever putting their hands on his husband ever again, that was for sure. “C'mon,” He muttered as he led the way over to what looked like the receptionist's desk.
Jared mutely followed Jensen, his eyes constantly scanning the room as he tried to spot where that man was. He could hear his husband talking to the woman sitting at the desk but he wasn't actually processing the conversation. All he could focus on was the terrified feeling he got when he thought about why he was there and what he had to do. Looking around now, he wasn't sure how he ever thought he could do this alone. He felt like an ass for the way he had treated Jensen this morning but he was just grateful that Jensen hadn't let it stop him from being there. I'll make it up to him, I will Jared thought to himself. He'd make all of it up to Jensen, this morning, the fact that he'd let this happen in the first place... he'd make it all up to him.
“She said we gotta go up to the 3rd floor,” Jensen instructed, leaving out the part that said that that was the unit of the detectives who specialized in sex crimes. The woman had looked at Jensen and then at Jared with pity in her eyes and Jensen didn't think that his husband needed any more reminders of what had been done to him. “And they'll tell us what to do from there.”
Jared nodded quietly.
Jensen sighed as he stopped outside the elevator without pressing any of the buttons. “Baby say something, you're scaring me.” Jensen said softly, standing close to Jared so that no one else in this busy place heard them. Reaching out with his free hand, Jensen gently brushed some of Jared's bangs back from his forehead.
“I'm so sorry,” Jared replied, his bottom lip trembling as his face fell.
“Shh,” Jensen shook his head as he pulled Jared closer to him. “Don't say that Jay, you've got nothing to be sorry for.” He soothed, thinking that Jared was apologizing once again for them having to go through this. Jensen hoped that it wouldn't be too long before Jared realized that there was only one person responsible for this whole mess and that it wasn't him.
Jared shook his head no as he stepped back a little. “No, I... this morning... I don't know why I said that but I didn't meant it, I'm so sorry.” He apologized as he held tightly to Jensen's hand. “And I'm so glad you're here Jen. I... I don't want to do this.” Jared looked absolutely terrified and it made anger pump through Jensen, fast and furiously. No one had the right to put that look on Jared's face, ever, and this bastard was about to find that out. Whoever this man was, whoever he thought he was, he was about to learn that even if Jensen Ackles wasn't a man loaded with money or power, he was a man who would protect his family with his dying breath.
“It's okay Jay,” Jensen nodded though a part of him was still feeling the sting of their earlier fight. Now though, here in the middle of the police station with his husband looking like a frightened animal backed into a corner was not the place to have that conversation. “I won't leave you, I promise. I'll never leave you.” He smiled gently, trying to reassure Jared. When Jared nodded back at him and looked like he was slightly calmer, Jensen stepped forward and pressed the button to open the elevator, never once letting go of Jared's hand.
~JA/JP-A~
After stepping out of the elevator, Jensen led the way down a long hall that led to a set of double doors that had 'Special Victims Unit' stenciled on the glass. Here we go he thought, hoping that either one of the detectives that he and Jared were at least somewhat familiar with was in the office right now.
“Mr. Ackles!” Jensen breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Detective Peter's voice calling out for him and Jared. “Finally you showed up, called you over two hours ago.” The detective muttered impatiently.
“Hey, got here as fast as we could.” Jensen defended. It wasn't like coming down to the station to ID the person who attacked you was an easy thing to do.
“I know, I'm sorry... it's just that well, we've gotta make sure that we arraign him in time.” Detective Peters explained as he motioned Jared and Jensen towards his desk.
“Well, we're here now so what happens next?” Jensen asked, casting a quick glance at his husband. He knew from the gray color of his husband's face and how sweaty Jared's hand was in his that he would be the one doing the talking today. Jared was clearly, and understandably, a nervous wreck.
“I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to wait out here and Jared, I need you to come with me.” Detective Peters ordered just as a man with graying hair and wearing an expensive looking suit came walking up to the three of them.
Jared turned to look at Jensen, tears filling his eyes as he minutely shook his head no. Jensen was the only reason he had even stepped inside the building, Jared had seriously been contemplating just walking away and disappearing when Jensen had showed up. He didn't know how they expected him to be able to face his attacker without him. “Jen,” He whispered shakily.
Standing from the chair he had been sitting in, Jensen pulled his husband up with him and tugged him close. “It's going to be okay Jare,” He soothed even as he clutched Jared tightly to himself. He didn't want to let Jared go and have to go back there, wherever this room was, by himself. “You can do this baby, you can and I'll be waiting for you, right here, I promise.” Jensen looked over Jared's shoulder to glare at the detective and the other man that he hadn't met yet. Couldn't they see that Jared needed him?
Jared pulled back from the hug, his hazel eyes shiny with tears and a look of worry on his face. He wanted Jensen back there with him, he wanted to feel Jensen's hand in his and yet, at the same time he was mildly grateful that Jensen wasn't allowed back there. He still didn't want Jensen to see the man who had done this, Jensen didn't need those images in his head. Jared wrapped his arms protectively around himself, trying to form some amount of strength so that he would be able to get through this on his own.
“All you have to do Jay is say what number he's holding up and then you can come back out here to me and we'll go back to the hotel, alright baby?” Jensen tried to encourage as he held Jared by the arms, gently rubbing them. He refused to believe that the man who had attacked Jared was still a free person, roaming around the city to do as he pleased.
Swallowing, Jared nodded as he tried his best to dry his eyes and man up. There were cops all around and they weren't even really going to be in the same room, he shouldn't be getting so upset over this he told himself. “I'll see you in a few.” He said, looking at Jensen hopefully.
Jensen nodded. “I'll be right here.” He repeated as he retook a seat on the chair just to prove his point even if sitting down and waiting for Jared was the last thing he felt like doing at that moment. No, what he wanted to do was follow Jared into the room and hold his husband close, shielding him from the bastard's view. It's one way glass Jensen reminded himself though that didn't help much. He still wanted to be with Jared instead of sitting at the detectives' desk.
~JA/JP-A~
Jared returned with Detective Peters and the man in the expensive suit about twenty minutes later causing Jensen to jump up and hurry over to them the second he saw the small group. “Baby?” He asked as he gently cradled Jared's pale face in his hands.
Jared didn't respond, just stepped closer to Jensen to bury his face in his husband's neck.
“Shh baby, you're safe. I've got you.” Jensen reassured as he gently stroked Jared's back, pressing small kisses to his temple every few minutes. Lifting his head to look at the detective, Jensen silently asked if Jared had been able to provide them with an ID. Jensen felt his knees nearly go out when both men nodded yes. It was a relief to know that the man had been captured but it was also very frightening to know that they were in the same building. “What...” Jensen licked his lips nervously. “What happens now?” He asked with his arms still locked around Jared's hunched form. He didn't think that the jaws of life could pry his arms away from his husband right now.
“Let's go to my office, we can talk there.” The man in the expensive suit suggested
“I'm sorry but you are?” Jensen asked, irritated, on edge, and ready to kill the next person who pissed him off. He was done being Mr. Nice Guy, especially when he was holding his trembling husband in his arms.
“Sorry, I'm Jeff Heathrow. I'm the one who will be prosecuting your husband's attacker.” He extended a hand to Jensen and they shook, Jensen still with an angry look on his face. “So, should we go to my office?” He asked.
Jensen paused. He wasn't sure whether he should take Jared back to the hotel and get him out of this freakin' place already or if they should both go talk to the DA. His decision was made for him when Jared straightened back up and wiped his eyes. “Hey baby,” Jensen said softly, giving Jared a small smile as he tried to read just where Jared's head was at.
“Hey,” Jared replied, his voice hoarse but Jensen could see the determination in his eyes. He wasn't sure whether to be proud of it and the fact that Jared had that look or if that meant it was going to be a repeat of this morning when Jared had tried to hide how hurt he was and acted on autopilot. “How... how long do you think this'll take?” Jared asked as he turned to face Jeff. He had told Tyler that he would be at the hotel when he came back from swimming and he wasn't prepared to disappoint his little boy. Not after everything else that had happened recently.
“Shouldn't take more than an hour... maybe an hour and a half at the most.” Jeff answered. He knew that they didn't have to discuss all of the details today since he would have time before the trial to do that but he did want to get the majority of the discussion out of the way. With the amount of evidence that they had on this creep, he wasn't worried about him going anywhere anytime soon.
Jared nodded as he turned to Jensen. “Do you know when they're gonna be back?” He asked.
Jensen instantly knew who Jared was talking about and he shook his head no. “My mom called earlier but I was kind of in a rush so...” Jensen drifted off, feeling guilty for the way he'd snapped at his mom this morning. It wasn't her fault that he had been in such a bad and angry mood. After all, since she had arrived, Donna had done everything she could to help them out. Sighing, Jensen knew that he was going to have to apologize to her this afternoon when they dropped Tyler off.
Biting his lip, Jared nodded thoughtfully. “Come with us?” He asked, looking hopefully at his husband.
Jensen nodded, glad that Jared was asking him for his company. That could only be considered to be a good thing and right now, he'd take everything he could get. “Of course.” He responded, not caring what the procedures were. There was no way they were going to make him sit and wait at the detectives' desk for this.
~JA/JP-A~
Both Jared and Jensen were silent during the drive back to the hotel after speaking to Detective Peters and ADA Heathrow. They had learned that the perpetrator, Kevin Montgomery, had been caught in the act by his sixth's victim's boyfriend who had returned home earlier than planned from his trip. The boyfriend had managed to detain him until the police could arrive and take him into custody. If only I had been earlier Jensen thought as his hands tightened around the steering wheel, wishing that it was him who had come home early. He just hoped that the guy had given the bastard one hell of a right hook. Jensen thought if it was him who had walked into the room, he would have beaten the guy to death... screw calling the cops.
The ADA had also told them that Mr. Montgomery was going to be arraigned and held in the county jail until it was time for his trial. Jensen had been worried that maybe the guy would be granted bail but he had been reassured that no judge in his right mind would let a man with those types of charges go, especially one that was considered to be a flight risk. The ADA had also explained to Jensen and Jared that they were still unclear on how the suspect got into each victim's house as all of them had sworn that they'd locked up before going to bed and there hadn't been any missing keys. Jensen hadn't liked hearing that the guy had somehow gained access to all six homes but at the same time, he hoped that hearing and knowing that Jared wasn't his only victim would reassure his husband... even a tiny bit.
After that had been taken care of, ADA Heathrow had explained to them what the trial process would be like and how long he was expecting it to take. Jared had near had a heart attack when the man had said that he would likely call on all of the victims to testify, including Jared. They had left shortly after that and Jensen was worried about what state of mind his husband was in right now. If Jared had looked terrified before he had gone in for the ID, he looked completely and utterly lost now. It wasn't a look that Jensen liked seeing on the other man's face.
“How ya doing baby?” Jensen asked quietly and hoping that Jared would answer him. His husband hadn't said a word since they'd left the station. “Jare?”
“I'm fine,” Jared replied a few minutes later, his gaze still directed away from Jensen.
No, you're not Jensen silently argued. He didn't buy for a second that Jared was alright. “Jay,” He sighed, wondering how he could get Jared to admit that he wasn't okay.
“I said I'm fine Jensen so drop it.” Jared said angrily.
Huffing, Jensen decided to back off... for now. As much as he wanted Jared to open up and talk to him, he didn't want to back him into a corner either so he let the subject drop. He just hoped that soon, very soon Jared would start talking to him again. “If you're feeling tired then I can call my parents and ask 'em to take Ty for the night. I'm sure they won't mind.”
Jared turned his head to glare at Jensen. “I'm perfectly okay to take care of our son Jensen,” He said stiffly. “And besides, I promised Tyler he could see us after swimming. I'm not breaking that promise.”
“Okay, okay... never mind,” Jensen surrendered before silence once again fell between the two of them.
~JA/JP-A~
As soon as they got back to the hotel, Jared headed into the bathroom without saying a single word. Jensen watched his husband go and it made his hands curl into fists at the depressed look that Jared was carrying. He hated that instead of being warm and open, Jared's eyes were haunted and empty. He wanted his husband back but more than that, he wanted for Jared to look at him and not just try to pretend like things were okay and that they were just on some vacation. Looking around the room, Jensen saw that it was in the same state that he'd left it in this morning. The bed was askew from when he had kicked it and it instantly made him feel shaky. It felt too familiar and Jensen scrambled to right the mattress before he lost his stomach contents. He felt tears sting his eyes at the fact that a misaligned mattress made him think about that night. If something as small as that could trigger his memory then how in the world was Jared going to handle this? How in the world were they ever going to find a way to work passed this when his husband wouldn't even look at him unless either he was crying his eyes out or if Tyler was in the room. Somebody help me out here please because I'm trying but I don't know what to do he silently prayed, hoping with everything he had that somebody would hear his plea and answer.
chapter 7: http://kelzm1989.livejournal.com/2011/03/31/
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Hey, so yeah... apparently I am sticking with writing this story for now (not that that's a bad thing). I don't know... the other two, I've kind of hit a writer's block with them so... Anyways, thanks for stopping by and reading the chapter! I hope everyone enjoyed it and the little tidbits of information that we gained about Jared's rapist. It wasn't as much as I originally wanted to include or thought I would but there will continue to be information about him so I guess it all works out. Please let me know what you guys thought and I will try to update next week. Thanks again! :)