On the Shoulders of Giants by Kelly Ramsdell Fineman - a Poetry Friday post

[kellyrfineman]

If it's the first Friday of the month, it must be time to post a poem from my ongoing project with my poetry sisters. Have I mentioned how very glad I am to have them all in my life, and how much I enjoy these monthly challenges? Because I do, even when the challenges are difficult. Maybe especially then

Comments

[angeladegroot]

Brilliant!

[kellyrfineman]

Thanks!

[kellyrfineman]

I didn't notice some of them until I was midway through.

[ext_3178165]

Here's what I love about this poem -- it is three dimensional, just like the sculpture. It is like you couldn't resist walking all the way around the piece, and walking back in time, and walking through all sorts of context. It is spare and yet also kind of magnificent, which sort of describes Picasso's piece. Really, Kelly, it's a perfect fit!

[kellyrfineman]

Aw, thanks for your kind words, Liz!

"...later, she would reveal"

[ext_709338]

There is so much texture and depth here to like - and so much we learn - but my all-time favorite phrase is, "A small symmetry but it staves off collapse." Two people holding out their arms -- in entreaty, for hugs, in celebration -- these things, too, can stave off collapse. The hidden harmony is indeed better than the obvious.

Re: "...later, she would reveal"

[kellyrfineman]

"Later, she would reveal" would have been a pretty great poem title for this, actually. Talk about a missed opportunity! Thanks for your comments!

[ext_2214938]

The first time I read this (in the Google doc), I had no idea you used Picasso's words. I really don't know how I missed that. I love how they scaffold the poem and give character to each section. Like writerjenn, there was so much I missed about this sculpture until it was in your poem. I had to go back and look each time something new struck me. I love the first stanza, and this couplet in particular

a childish, childlike goal, so I
considered childhood dreams.

This is a lovely, lovely poem.

[kellyrfineman]

Thanks, Tricia - I should've made the remark in the Google doc (before yesterday morning) to make that part clear. Oops. I tried to use each quote as a direction for the section that follows. And really, I'm exceedingly pleased with this poem and how it came out. It's some of my best work, and in some ways I'm sorry to have it published here, since many places won't now consider it because this counts as publication!

[ext_3179592]

Yes, Kelly, I was about to say that---this is some of the best work of yours that I've been privileged to see. What Liz said about you walking all the way around this sculpture and making your poem three-dimensional, with quotes as scaffolding (as Tricia points out) is just...magnificent. I find myself re-reading all the quotes, and then your stanzas, to see again how they interlock. My favorite bit is still:

No, dancing. She wears ballet shoes.
Not small after all. Add some paint.

Because of the delicacy of it/the exploration as careful as her steps/and how it lets us view the Making of this stanza. *Sigh*

[kellyrfineman]

Smooch!