The Lamest, Most Sado-Masichistic Series of Books I Will Ever Read
The Heat
by Heather Killough-Walden
Hated it! ☆☆☆☆☆
Amazon's summary: Lily St. Claire is a simple, [no kidding!] if beautiful Southern girl who has no idea what she is in for when she decides to move back to her home town in Louisiana after a decade of being away. But between the two very different alpha werewolves who instantly begin fighting to claim her as their mate and the serial killer who has her in his sites, she's about to find out.
My summary: Lily St. Claire is a moron. I mean, a complete imbecile. She bops into town after being gone for 10 years and is immediately smitten by Mr. Daniel wolf-man after one ride on his sooper shiney Harley. Right. The next day, he's throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her back to his house where he cuffs her, cuts her, and mixes their blood in some extremely unromantic mating ritual. But it's enough to get her all hot and bothered to the point where she passes out.
He gets called out on a case (he's Baton Rouge's Chief of Police) and leaves her alone. She escapes. SURPRISE! Steals his Harley, and takes off in a mad dash to rendezvous with Mr. Evil Sexy Book-writing wolf man, to whom she grants permission to remove the bonding mark she got only hours before. All the while, he's got her in a choke-hold, promising to make her bleed... This gets her all turned on again. Oh, but the bonding mark removal process hurts (duh!) and suddenly she's sorry and wants Mr. Harley back. Oh, and did I mention Mr. Evil Sexy Novelist is a Nazi?? You can't make this crap up. Oh wait, apparently you can.
So Mr. Harley Wolf shows up to rescue our damsel who likes being in distress, but Mr. Nazi Wolf escapes with her, hops on a private jet, and holds her hostage in his cabin in New Mexico. She was unconscious for the trip, but knows exactly where she is when she wakes up. Uhhh... yea. CUZ SHE'S SO SMRT!
Oh, then she burns his house down in an attempt to escape, except she didn't adequately plan a way OUT of said inferno. But at least there's a hot tub! So she drowns herself trying not to be burned alive.
PLEASE!! Could you write a more ridiculously stupid heroine??
Oh, but wait, then it turns out Mr. Sexy Evil Nazi is neither Evil nor a Nazi. He's spent the majority of his life cursed by a gypsy to witness and be blamed for the murder of every innocent. Poor tortured soul. He decides that since the heroine would rather die trying to escape than be with him, she should be with Daniel, Mr. Chief of Police wolf.
So Lily and Daniel hook up, re-complete the mating bond, and he turns her into a wolf too, despite her protests. HOURS LATER, she is (again) kidnapped. This time by a human, a Hunter--to be exact. He shoots her 30+ times and ties her to a bed in some church basement, intending to rape her. (Which is not so different from what the two wolves have already done, but this time she doesn't like it. Oh. Okay.)
Seriously, the amount of time this woman spends naked and tied up is ludicrous. But Mr. Hot Rod Harley comes to the rescue, frees her, and imprisons her kidnapper (who turns out to be one of his top guys on the police force--OOPS!). All is well now. Lily and Daniel settle down, exonerate Mr. Not An Evil Nazi After All, and have a puppy together.
The banter about breastfeeding the offspring was the final straw. It was totally sexualized, which is WRONG. She doesn't want to feed her kid, so she punches her new husband in the face and tells him to bring her some Starbucks.
THE END.
OMGWTFBBQ
as someone I know would say.
Stupid me, expecting decent literature for $1.
My ONLY consolation is that, at the time I purchased this series, proceeds were being donated to the Red Cross for Japan Relief Fund.
There are two more books in this series (both $1).... And they promise to be just as vapid as the first. Why would I continue to subject myself to such literary nonsense? Well, 1. I already paid for them, and 2. I want to write more scathing reviews like this one.
Truth be told, the other main characters were not that bad. My major problem was the "heroine". And she was SO BAD that she ruined the entire book. Mr. Not An Evil Nazi actually had a good story going for him, despite everyone else's shenanigans. I think he's featured in the next book, so maybe it has a whisper of a prayer of being worth my time.
Regardless, the author clearly has some Stockholm Syndrome/please hurt me I LIKE IT issues. And it's disturbing.