What If... #1
Fandom: Queer as Folk
Categories: Fanfiction
Rating: PG to Adults Only
Characters: Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor, Michael Novotny, Ben Bruckner, Emmett Honeycutt, Ted Schmidt, Debbie Novotny, Original Male Character, Chris Hobbs
Genres: Angst, Song Fic, Drama, Romance, Gap-filler, Episode-Related, What if..., Timeline: Season 4
Warnings: BDSM, References to Abuse, Spoilers, Semi-Beta'ed
Chapters: 6
Published: 19 November 2004
Last Updated: 12 January 2005
Summary: Justin's greatest enemy seeks him out with unknown intentions.
My first original standalone Fanfic. Accidental sequel to Sharing.
Chapter 1: Ghosts of the Past
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Justin had turned from starting a fresh pot of coffee to see Chris Hobbs sitting at the lunch counter directly behind him.
Hobbs stared back defiantly. “Grabbin’ some lunch.”
“That’s what you think. Get out of here.”
“This is a public restaurant, right?”
“Wrong.” Justin rounded the counter and walked into Chris’ face. “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. That includes straight homophobic asshole guilty of hate crimes. Now get the fuck out!”
Chris spent a long moment sizing Justin up.
A brunette sporting a baseball cap turned backwards stood from his booth in the corner of the diner. He simply stood and stared at Hobbs. Justin remained oblivious to the ally he had standing behind him.
Hobbs leaned back, slipped off the stool and walked out the diner door.
Debbie step to Justin’s left. “Sunshine, are you alright? The fucking nerve of that kid! Sweetie..?”
“I’m fine.”
“Honey, you’re shaking-“
“I’m alright!” Justin pulled away violently. The diner went quiet and Justin found himself glaring at the young man who stood behind him. Without a word, the young man reluctantly looked away and returned to his seat.
Justin recognized the customer. He was a new regular: Tuna melt extra tomatoes. Just as the shame hit him, the brunette looked at him again and simply nodded. Justin needed that. It meant he was safe, he was among family. Everyone understood and forgave him the outburst, that simple.
As the sound of dishes and conversation crept back into the diner, Justin turned to his surrogate mom. He placed one hand on her shoulder and scrubbed at his face with the other, unsure of what expression he was wearing. “Deb, I’m alright. I just… I need a minute.”
Justin brushed past Debbie and made a B-line for the kitchen.
“You go ahead honey.” Debbie called after him. “Take all the time you need.”
* * * * *
Outside behind the diner, Justin sucked hard on the cigarette between his lips. He closed his eyes, waited for the drag to hit, then exhaled slowly.
He paced alongside the dumpsters, impatient with the effect Hobbs still had on him. Over the past years, the site of his attacker had evolved from a paralyzing fear to a sudden explosive rage. Though he preferred the latter of the two, it annoyed him that Hobbs had any power over him at all. If only Hobbs just ceased to exist…
Justin took another long drag. He had his chance to…
“Everybody sticks together around here, huh?”
Justin turned.
It was Hobbs. He stood watching him from the sidewalk. Justin felt his blood begin to boil again. But this time, he remembered to try and harness his wild emotions. He would not show weakness to this fuck.
“What are you still doing here?”
“Is she a dyke?”
Hobbs wore his varsity jacket. Justin pushed back a pang of self-loathing at the thought of how many times he so meticulously sketched the former classmate in that precious jacket. How they were almost friends once. How could he never have seen this coming?
“No, she’s not. But I’m sure I can find a couple bulls who’d be happy to kick your homophobic ass. Now fuck off!”
Hobbs blinked. Justin watched with delight as the first signs of discomfort crossed Hobbs face. It gave him confidence even as Hobbs took a step towards him. “I have to talk to you.”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“Yeah, well I got something to say to you.”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
“Look Taylor, you owe me.”
“What did you say?”
Hobbs took another step forward. “I said after the last visit you and your little friend paid me, I’d think we were about even by now.”
It was Justin’s turn to take a step forward. “Don’t ever think for one second we’re remotely close to being even.”
Hobbs blinked again. Justin had found his tell; he was enjoying watching the former jock squirm. Hobbs swallowed before saying, “Whatever. But we still need to talk. Where can I meet you?”
Justin turned to walk away. “How about you go to hell?”
“You know, I’m not afraid of getting my ass kicked. I’ll keep coming back here.”
Justin took a final drag on his cigarette and tossed it aside. He turned and allowed himself a smirk. “This is Liberty Avenue, Hobbs. Guys around here will have other plans for your ass besides kicking it.”
“That bar,” Hobbs called to Justin’s back. “The one with the red awning. I’ll be there at 7:30.”
Justin disappeared in the back door of the diner without looking back. But Hobbs was pretty sure Justin heard him.
* * * * *
“Justin. Justin!”
Justin heard his name for the first time. “Yeah?”
“Order up.”
Justin woke from his standing daze. He had been wiping down the same clean countertop for five minutes. With the conversation by the dumpster still playing in his head, he walked to the pick up window and brought food to the booth where Debbie was holding court with Michael, Ted, Emmett and a somber Brian.
“Turkey on whole grain no mayo to go?” Justin absent-mindedly handed Brian a Styrofoam carton while Brian watched him closely.
“He just fuckin’ waltzes in here like he owns the place,” Debbie exclaimed to the booth filled with her usual lost boys.
Justin leans across Debbie to deliver the second plate. “Spaghetti with meat sauce?”
“Right here,” Michael answered, craning his neck to try and see Justin’s face. “So, what did he want?”
“Who?”
“Who?! That asshole Hobbs.”
Justin stared at Michael a moment. He wasn’t sure how Michael knew Hobbs was the exact thing on his mind. Justin looked about the table at the expectant faces watching him.
It was Emmett that revived him. More so than Brian’s, Emmett’s face was riddled with concern. Justin held his head up and found his full voice. “I don’t know.”
Brian caught Justin’s wrist before the young man could walk away. “Did he say anything?”
“Who gives a shit what he has to say?” Debbie wailed angrily. “He’s a fucking homophobic prick. No one is safe with him lurking on Liberty Avenue. I mean who knows when he’ll decide to pick up a baseball bat at bash someone else in the head-”
“Deb!” Emmett glared at Debbie and she suddenly heard herself. She threw her hands to her mouth and turned to Justin who stood silently beside her. “Oh shit Sunshine, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
Justin shrugged. “It’s OK. I’m fine. Just seeing him here, threw me, that’s all.”
A short silence followed where everyone tried not to look at Justin. Then Emmett threw his arms in the air and brought both palms down on Justin’s hand. “Well, I think this calls for a trip to Babylon tonight. You know, dance that man right out of your hair.”
“And if that doesn’t work, a bump or a blow job should do the trick. Unless, of course, you decide to do a trick yourself,” Ted quipped.
“Justin, order up.”
On reflex, Justin turned and walked away.
Brian slips from his booth and follows Justin across the diner. He grabs the strings of his apron just as Justin reaches for the waiting food under the heat lamp. Brian spins Justin around with a firm tug and they fell gently against the wall together.
At first Justin avoided his eyes, so Brian took hold of his chin and firmly tilted his head up to his own. Brian stared deeply into Justin’s eyes. Justin stared back, easily losing himself in Brian’s gaze. Pressing his instant stiffy against Justin’s thigh, Brian makes the young man blush. Having achieved the desired affect, Brian smiles devilishly and spent a long moment devouring Justin’s mouth with a heavy kiss.
“What was that for?” Justin asked, suddenly breathless.
“Since when do I need a reason?”
Brian inched even closer to Justin, pressing him against the wall with the whole of his body, the fullness of his hard on prominent between Justin’s legs. He takes his time, leans in and kisses Justin again, slowly, deliberately. Justin’s arms float up slowly and drift around Brian’s waist. They melt into the kiss. Justin lets out his familiar low moan and they both feel the tension in his body fall away.
Throats loudly clear behind the couple.
Brian pulls away first, satisfied. “I’ll see you tonight?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
Brian gives Justin a last searching gaze before he plants a quick kiss on Justin’s forehead and turns to leave.
* * * * *
“Why here?”
Justin downed his drink in one swallow. Once drained, he set the empty shot glass on the table beside the other. He took in the site of guys at the bar cruising the guys playing pool, who were cruising the guys playing darts. It was all so incestuous. Men arm and arm, hands on asses, hands down pants, lips exploring necklines, and other lips. Justin wanted to walk away from this bullshit and go pick up that cute guy in the black wifebeater. But he was here now, and Hobbs was buying. He had decided that he would give the prick three minutes. “Why Woody’s? Only gay bar you know?”
Hobbs’ eyes had been fixed onto some crude initials carved into the wooden table. “Yeah. I figured you probably wouldn’t meet me anywhere else. Probably thought I would try to jump you or something.”
“That’ll never happen again.”
“Why? You still packing?”
A dreadlocked waiter collected the empty glasses and placed two more shots in front of both Justin and Chris. Justin resisted the urge to throw the drink at him.
“What do you want?”
“Have another drink.”
“No. What do you want?”
Hobbs slammed his shot. With his courage gathered, he looked Justin in the eye. “I never… I never said I was sorry… for what I did…”
“You’ve said it, even though you never meant it.”
“Well I’m saying it now, because I mean it. I’m sorry.”
“Is that all we have to talk about?”
Chris looked around nervously. “Look, I said I’m sorry.”
“How nice for you.”
“Well do you accept my apology or not?”
“No.”
“I need you to 'cept my pology," Hobbs huffed. The alcohol was hitting him, right in the mouth.
“What am I doing here?” Justin slipped out of the booth. He fished in his pocket and threw a twenty on the table. “Stay the fuck away from me Hobbs.”
“I need your help Taylor.”
“You can’t have it.”
“You’re the only one-“
“Is this some fuckin’ therapy shit? Did your shrink tell you you needed closure and you have to get me to forgive you? Well it’s not gonna happen-”
“You’re the only one because you’re a fag…” Hobbs eyes bounced up and down as if he were afraid to look at Justin. “I don’t know any other… fags.”
Justin watched Chris Hobbs closely. He watched his nemesis drink the last shot. He now seemed smaller, vulnerable.
An unseen force compelled Justin to sit down again. He watched Chris stoically, somehow knowing what the young man would say next.
“I can’t talk to anyone else… I think I might be… I don’t think I’m straight.”
NEXT
Categories: Fanfiction
Rating: PG to Adults Only
Characters: Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor, Michael Novotny, Ben Bruckner, Emmett Honeycutt, Ted Schmidt, Debbie Novotny, Original Male Character, Chris Hobbs
Genres: Angst, Song Fic, Drama, Romance, Gap-filler, Episode-Related, What if..., Timeline: Season 4
Warnings: BDSM, References to Abuse, Spoilers, Semi-Beta'ed
Chapters: 6
Published: 19 November 2004
Last Updated: 12 January 2005
Summary: Justin's greatest enemy seeks him out with unknown intentions.
My first original standalone Fanfic. Accidental sequel to Sharing.
Chapter 1: Ghosts of the Past
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Justin had turned from starting a fresh pot of coffee to see Chris Hobbs sitting at the lunch counter directly behind him.
Hobbs stared back defiantly. “Grabbin’ some lunch.”
“That’s what you think. Get out of here.”
“This is a public restaurant, right?”
“Wrong.” Justin rounded the counter and walked into Chris’ face. “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. That includes straight homophobic asshole guilty of hate crimes. Now get the fuck out!”
Chris spent a long moment sizing Justin up.
A brunette sporting a baseball cap turned backwards stood from his booth in the corner of the diner. He simply stood and stared at Hobbs. Justin remained oblivious to the ally he had standing behind him.
Hobbs leaned back, slipped off the stool and walked out the diner door.
Debbie step to Justin’s left. “Sunshine, are you alright? The fucking nerve of that kid! Sweetie..?”
“I’m fine.”
“Honey, you’re shaking-“
“I’m alright!” Justin pulled away violently. The diner went quiet and Justin found himself glaring at the young man who stood behind him. Without a word, the young man reluctantly looked away and returned to his seat.
Justin recognized the customer. He was a new regular: Tuna melt extra tomatoes. Just as the shame hit him, the brunette looked at him again and simply nodded. Justin needed that. It meant he was safe, he was among family. Everyone understood and forgave him the outburst, that simple.
As the sound of dishes and conversation crept back into the diner, Justin turned to his surrogate mom. He placed one hand on her shoulder and scrubbed at his face with the other, unsure of what expression he was wearing. “Deb, I’m alright. I just… I need a minute.”
Justin brushed past Debbie and made a B-line for the kitchen.
“You go ahead honey.” Debbie called after him. “Take all the time you need.”
* * * * *
Outside behind the diner, Justin sucked hard on the cigarette between his lips. He closed his eyes, waited for the drag to hit, then exhaled slowly.
He paced alongside the dumpsters, impatient with the effect Hobbs still had on him. Over the past years, the site of his attacker had evolved from a paralyzing fear to a sudden explosive rage. Though he preferred the latter of the two, it annoyed him that Hobbs had any power over him at all. If only Hobbs just ceased to exist…
Justin took another long drag. He had his chance to…
“Everybody sticks together around here, huh?”
Justin turned.
It was Hobbs. He stood watching him from the sidewalk. Justin felt his blood begin to boil again. But this time, he remembered to try and harness his wild emotions. He would not show weakness to this fuck.
“What are you still doing here?”
“Is she a dyke?”
Hobbs wore his varsity jacket. Justin pushed back a pang of self-loathing at the thought of how many times he so meticulously sketched the former classmate in that precious jacket. How they were almost friends once. How could he never have seen this coming?
“No, she’s not. But I’m sure I can find a couple bulls who’d be happy to kick your homophobic ass. Now fuck off!”
Hobbs blinked. Justin watched with delight as the first signs of discomfort crossed Hobbs face. It gave him confidence even as Hobbs took a step towards him. “I have to talk to you.”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“Yeah, well I got something to say to you.”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
“Look Taylor, you owe me.”
“What did you say?”
Hobbs took another step forward. “I said after the last visit you and your little friend paid me, I’d think we were about even by now.”
It was Justin’s turn to take a step forward. “Don’t ever think for one second we’re remotely close to being even.”
Hobbs blinked again. Justin had found his tell; he was enjoying watching the former jock squirm. Hobbs swallowed before saying, “Whatever. But we still need to talk. Where can I meet you?”
Justin turned to walk away. “How about you go to hell?”
“You know, I’m not afraid of getting my ass kicked. I’ll keep coming back here.”
Justin took a final drag on his cigarette and tossed it aside. He turned and allowed himself a smirk. “This is Liberty Avenue, Hobbs. Guys around here will have other plans for your ass besides kicking it.”
“That bar,” Hobbs called to Justin’s back. “The one with the red awning. I’ll be there at 7:30.”
Justin disappeared in the back door of the diner without looking back. But Hobbs was pretty sure Justin heard him.
* * * * *
“Justin. Justin!”
Justin heard his name for the first time. “Yeah?”
“Order up.”
Justin woke from his standing daze. He had been wiping down the same clean countertop for five minutes. With the conversation by the dumpster still playing in his head, he walked to the pick up window and brought food to the booth where Debbie was holding court with Michael, Ted, Emmett and a somber Brian.
“Turkey on whole grain no mayo to go?” Justin absent-mindedly handed Brian a Styrofoam carton while Brian watched him closely.
“He just fuckin’ waltzes in here like he owns the place,” Debbie exclaimed to the booth filled with her usual lost boys.
Justin leans across Debbie to deliver the second plate. “Spaghetti with meat sauce?”
“Right here,” Michael answered, craning his neck to try and see Justin’s face. “So, what did he want?”
“Who?”
“Who?! That asshole Hobbs.”
Justin stared at Michael a moment. He wasn’t sure how Michael knew Hobbs was the exact thing on his mind. Justin looked about the table at the expectant faces watching him.
It was Emmett that revived him. More so than Brian’s, Emmett’s face was riddled with concern. Justin held his head up and found his full voice. “I don’t know.”
Brian caught Justin’s wrist before the young man could walk away. “Did he say anything?”
“Who gives a shit what he has to say?” Debbie wailed angrily. “He’s a fucking homophobic prick. No one is safe with him lurking on Liberty Avenue. I mean who knows when he’ll decide to pick up a baseball bat at bash someone else in the head-”
“Deb!” Emmett glared at Debbie and she suddenly heard herself. She threw her hands to her mouth and turned to Justin who stood silently beside her. “Oh shit Sunshine, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
Justin shrugged. “It’s OK. I’m fine. Just seeing him here, threw me, that’s all.”
A short silence followed where everyone tried not to look at Justin. Then Emmett threw his arms in the air and brought both palms down on Justin’s hand. “Well, I think this calls for a trip to Babylon tonight. You know, dance that man right out of your hair.”
“And if that doesn’t work, a bump or a blow job should do the trick. Unless, of course, you decide to do a trick yourself,” Ted quipped.
“Justin, order up.”
On reflex, Justin turned and walked away.
Brian slips from his booth and follows Justin across the diner. He grabs the strings of his apron just as Justin reaches for the waiting food under the heat lamp. Brian spins Justin around with a firm tug and they fell gently against the wall together.
At first Justin avoided his eyes, so Brian took hold of his chin and firmly tilted his head up to his own. Brian stared deeply into Justin’s eyes. Justin stared back, easily losing himself in Brian’s gaze. Pressing his instant stiffy against Justin’s thigh, Brian makes the young man blush. Having achieved the desired affect, Brian smiles devilishly and spent a long moment devouring Justin’s mouth with a heavy kiss.
“What was that for?” Justin asked, suddenly breathless.
“Since when do I need a reason?”
Brian inched even closer to Justin, pressing him against the wall with the whole of his body, the fullness of his hard on prominent between Justin’s legs. He takes his time, leans in and kisses Justin again, slowly, deliberately. Justin’s arms float up slowly and drift around Brian’s waist. They melt into the kiss. Justin lets out his familiar low moan and they both feel the tension in his body fall away.
Throats loudly clear behind the couple.
Brian pulls away first, satisfied. “I’ll see you tonight?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
Brian gives Justin a last searching gaze before he plants a quick kiss on Justin’s forehead and turns to leave.
* * * * *
“Why here?”
Justin downed his drink in one swallow. Once drained, he set the empty shot glass on the table beside the other. He took in the site of guys at the bar cruising the guys playing pool, who were cruising the guys playing darts. It was all so incestuous. Men arm and arm, hands on asses, hands down pants, lips exploring necklines, and other lips. Justin wanted to walk away from this bullshit and go pick up that cute guy in the black wifebeater. But he was here now, and Hobbs was buying. He had decided that he would give the prick three minutes. “Why Woody’s? Only gay bar you know?”
Hobbs’ eyes had been fixed onto some crude initials carved into the wooden table. “Yeah. I figured you probably wouldn’t meet me anywhere else. Probably thought I would try to jump you or something.”
“That’ll never happen again.”
“Why? You still packing?”
A dreadlocked waiter collected the empty glasses and placed two more shots in front of both Justin and Chris. Justin resisted the urge to throw the drink at him.
“What do you want?”
“Have another drink.”
“No. What do you want?”
Hobbs slammed his shot. With his courage gathered, he looked Justin in the eye. “I never… I never said I was sorry… for what I did…”
“You’ve said it, even though you never meant it.”
“Well I’m saying it now, because I mean it. I’m sorry.”
“Is that all we have to talk about?”
Chris looked around nervously. “Look, I said I’m sorry.”
“How nice for you.”
“Well do you accept my apology or not?”
“No.”
“I need you to 'cept my pology," Hobbs huffed. The alcohol was hitting him, right in the mouth.
“What am I doing here?” Justin slipped out of the booth. He fished in his pocket and threw a twenty on the table. “Stay the fuck away from me Hobbs.”
“I need your help Taylor.”
“You can’t have it.”
“You’re the only one-“
“Is this some fuckin’ therapy shit? Did your shrink tell you you needed closure and you have to get me to forgive you? Well it’s not gonna happen-”
“You’re the only one because you’re a fag…” Hobbs eyes bounced up and down as if he were afraid to look at Justin. “I don’t know any other… fags.”
Justin watched Chris Hobbs closely. He watched his nemesis drink the last shot. He now seemed smaller, vulnerable.
An unseen force compelled Justin to sit down again. He watched Chris stoically, somehow knowing what the young man would say next.
“I can’t talk to anyone else… I think I might be… I don’t think I’m straight.”
NEXT