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[kedra_lynn]

I hate certain things about our relationship. I hate the way I know what he orders from what places. To the point of which I don't have to ask him what he wants anymore. The way his nose crinkles and exactly what makes his nose crinkle and what won't. The way he snores. The way he sings. The way he walks. The way he speaks. The look on his face

Comments

[brynnmyrddin]

Aside from the last paragraph, I know what you mean - I'm in the same kind of situation now that I broke things off with the guy I was planning on marrying... and now I'm with his enemy.
Things will get better for you at some point, but I hope it's sooner rather than later.

hi!

[anonymous]

I'm shocked.For at least three reasons.The first is that I was drinking my morning coffee when I found your photos on flickr,and that was the first one! I spent the rest of the morning watching your photos and reading your journals.The second shock is about the way you write about your feelings and the bipolar disorder so openly.You are very brave as well as beautiful,rare and precious thing.The third shock is the real reason I'm posting this.I used to think I had bipolar disorder.But there was a difference,I was never really happy.There was ups and downs,for no reason,but the ups was not phases of 'mania' but just ok if you know what I mean,and I think you are.My mother and my sister have problems with their thyroid hormone,I checked it just in case and I end up having hypothyroidism,before three months.I'm a different person since then.I get to sleep again!I'm quite happy,and my mind works in a different way,more positive

Re: hi!

[kedra_lynn]

No see I have HUGE fits of mania. It's not just depression. It's not my thyroid (I get that checked out regularly). I hate how so many people try to tell me I don't have bipolar (I'm not saying you are doing this, but I hear it a lot). I've had it my whole life. It got worse with puberty. I studied it, I learned it. I studied me. I learned me. I KNOW my condition and I don't let it own me. I've never once thought it was me or that this is how it will be or use it as an excuse.

Actually the thing is I'm not even talking about a real relationship in this journal at all. It's actually very... coded, this entry. Written about one thing when it's about another.

Anyway, yeah I've always been open and candid about my condition. It makes me who I am and is a big part of my artwork and what I do. I don't hide it, not ashamed of it. I don't flaunt it either. But it's there. It's a part of me...