On Silence and Pigs

[kdotdammit]

Comments

[farbel]

As I was reading through this, there was a moment, or a couple of moments, when I wanted to say "me too." Then I realized that while, yes, I have been deliberately diminished by partners and others in my life, I have always had a little pig in me, and have at times retaliated, either against them or others, by diminishing them. I exist in that place of penultimate privilege. I am a white, protestant (sort of) American male. There is no higher pedestal upon which to stand. I suppose I could be rich. But I COULD be rich, because of all the rest. So, even when I am diminished, I know I can grab hold of the proverbial boot straps given to me by accident of birth, and keep on keeping on. In absolutely every situation I might encounter, I have an advantage over most people. That is a gift often squandered. I have squandered it, over and over. Occasionally, I manage to do something worthwhile. Even if it is only to consciously try not to diminish someone.

[kdotdammit]

Your comment is honest and brave. But don't for a minute think that white men can't be diminished. They can. It happens. It's often called bullying in the white guy forum. Thank you so much for writing such an important self-reflexive comment. You are a true thoughtful spirit.

[kdotdammit]

And you helped me by responding to this outpouring.

[nightspore]

A great response.

[nightspore]

This is amazing. And important. And important that it's amazing.

[kdotdammit]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Many weeks of silencing on top of a lifetime of being made small made this necessary for my survival. I started out writing a poem. A poem wasn't enough. I need to pour out THIS MUCH so I could wake up lighter today. And I did. And that you are here means so so so much to me, and that you think it is important and amazing. Thank you for being a tree and catching my words and telling me they are important.

pig

[crookedfingers]

As a man I have never been described as a pig. I have to ponder that for awhile.

RE: pig

[kdotdammit]

I would never consider you as a pig. At all. Not all men are pigs! And men can also be victims of pigs. Certainly it is not in your soul to practice such cruel injustice. I hope you didn’t read this as a blanket statement. I may need to edit. Plenty of good Not Pig men out there, and you are one of them.

RE: pig

[kdotdammit]

I would never consider you as a pig. At all. Not all men are pigs! And men can also be victims of pigs. Certainly it is not in your soul to practice such cruel injustice. I hope you didn’t read this as a blanket statement. I may need to edit. Plenty of good Not Pig men out there, and you are one of them.

[maxauburn]

Very powerful words.