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anonymousblack August 23 2016, 17:56:05 UTC
her dorm room is beautiful!

thank you for your beautiful candor here, i love everything about this entry. sending you and the bean love especially during this time of transition.

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kdotdammit August 23 2016, 18:34:38 UTC
We still have to put up her posters. We are going to do that on Saturday.

Thank you so much for reading this and sharing it with me. Writing truthfully from the heart is something that has been a long tradition for me. I have gotten away from it for a number of reasons, but I felt I needed to write this, so I stayed up way past my bedtime to do it.

This morning I decided to slice some watermelon and bring it to work with me in case my kiddo wanted some for a snack. It turns out that she wanted to meet me before her art class, so we sat in the shade together outside her dorm and shared watermelon. That is a huge act of trust and love on her part! :) Tired as I am, I am happy I'm doing the right thing.

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dragonvyxn August 23 2016, 19:57:06 UTC
big big big hugs!! i'm breaking a cycle as well, but of emotional abuse/neglect. it's never easy and i admire your hard work and continual effort to be and do better for your bean!! you're a rockstar!

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kdotdammit August 24 2016, 00:29:57 UTC
Oh yeah, I'm breaking that cycle too. When you start thinking of it, there are so many cycles tangled up together. Fuckers!

Thanks so much for responding. Good lord I am tired. My kiddo is doing well though. She is. She's making it, and I'm watching her blossom with pride and self worth and a sense of accomplishment. It feels damn good. And I'm her mom!

Rock star. Hah. But I like pretending I'm one when I wail on my electric guitar. Well, maybe not . . . :)

XO

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maxauburn August 24 2016, 18:45:19 UTC
Your music is sad but beautiful.

I like Bean's dorm room. It's very nice!

I'm glad Bean has a lovely dorm room.

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kdotdammit August 25 2016, 16:41:08 UTC
Thanks for appreciating my music. The very few people who have listened to it, often say it sounds sad and melancholy. I'm happy when playing it! Some famous blues musician (I can't remember who) said, "You don't feel the blues when you're playing the blues."

Kiddo is adjusting. We still need to put up posters. It has been a HUGE transition. She is very tired. I hope she is going to do okay. Always.

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