Fic: After Effect, Harry/Draco, NC-17, [Complete]

[kc404duh]

Title: After Effect
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: NC-17
Summary: No one knew Draco had a daughter, but due to unfortunate circumstances surrounding the end of the War he'll have to bring her to school for his eighth year. Perhaps a bit of innocence can help to open eyes.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.


Chapter Three

Hermione met Draco and Carina in the entrance hall. It was a surprisingly comfortable silence that consumed them as they walked behind the little girl, who was busy talking to Emilie all the way to the lake.

“She looks just like you,” Hermione said eventually, just before they made it to the large beech tree under which she, Ron, and Harry used to study in previous years. Draco chuckled.

“Except her eyes. She’s got-"

“Her mum’s eyes, yes, I figured,” Hermione laughed. “That’s what everyone used to say to Harry.”

Draco nodded but said nothing. She wondered if she shouldn’t have brought Harry up.

When they sat down under the tree Hermione laid Crookshanks on the grass, who purred and rubbed his head against Carina’s knee.

“His name’s Crookshanks,” Hermione said.

“That’s a funny name,” Carina giggled. “What does it mean?”

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “It was the name he had at the store where I bought him back in my third year.”

“What year are you now?” Carina asked, idly stroking Crookshanks’s tail.

“An eighth year. The same as your father.” It struck her then that she’d had Crookshanks for five years. Time certainly flew. “Did you name Emilie yourself?”

“Yes,” Carina said proudly. “It was my mama’s name!”

Hermione felt her heart go cold. Was? She looked over at Draco, who had gone paler than usual.

“Carina, darling, did you know there’s a giant squid in the lake? Why don’t you try to find a tentacle?”

“Okay!” The little girl got up and walked over to the edge of the lake, peering over curiously. Hermione wasn't sure the girl even knew what a tentacle was.

“Careful,” Draco said. She seemed to ignore him. He looked down at his hands before glancing up at Hermione. “Her mother died two weeks after Carina turned one.”

“I’m so sorry,” Hermione whispered. Draco shook his head.

“I never… She was an accident,” he said softly, looking away. He began fidgeting with his fingers. “During the Christmas holidays of our fifth year I went to France with my family. I got a French girl pregnant. She had Carina in September of our sixth year.”

“You … did you know?”

Draco nodded. “Emilie told me when she was a few months pregnant. She was two years older than us, though, so by the time she had Carina she was finished with school.”

“But you were … we were in our sixth year. That was…”

“Yeah,” he whispered. Hermione thought back to Draco that year … the year Harry had stalked him incessantly, so sure he’d been a part of something to do with Voldemort. He’d been right, of course. She bit her lip at the thought that Draco had had the weight of a little girl on his shoulders at the same time. “Carina stayed with her mother and grandparents in France for the year. She would visit the Manor on occasion. My father was still in Azkaban for most of the year, though, so it was only my mother. She wasn’t pleased about my having a daughter, of course, but she adored Carina.”

“That’s good,” Hermione said, nodding. She remembered that Narcissa Malfoy had died recently and wondered if Draco missed her more than he was letting on. “You said Emilie died after Carina turned one?” He nodded. “So that was our...”

“Our … well, our seventh year, yes. You three were…”

“Not at Hogwarts,” Hermione laughed lightly.

“Yeah.” He took a breath. “Carina stayed with her grandparents for the rest of the War. She couldn’t be at the Manor, of course. We had ... guests.” Hermione looked at the lake and shivered. She momentarily was reminded of her time on the floor of the Manor while Bellatrix attempted to force information out of her.

“Why did you decide to bring her this year?”

“I wasn’t going to,” Draco sighed. "First I’d planned on leaving her with my mother, but that plan was shot. My father’s in Azkaban. I was going to send her back to her grandparents in France at the end of August but they refused to take her.”

“Why?” Hermione nearly shouted, scandalized by this information. Draco chuckled.

“They hate me and resent Carina. Emilie died of ovarian cancer. They think it’s my fault.”

“That’s ridiculous! How could that be your fault! What a horrible thing to do! I can’t-!”

“There’s nothing I can do about it,” he said, cutting her off. “Besides, I’m glad I have her here with me. She’s the only thing I have left, in a sense. I can’t visit my father.” Hermione looked into Draco’s haunted eyes and nodded.

Silence consumed them again for a few minutes. Hermione wondered about Draco, how he’d changed so much. She wondered whether he would ever be in another relationship.

She decided to ask.

“Do you think you’ll ever find someone else? To help you raise her?”

He laughed. “Perhaps. I’ll have to try dating again first, though.”

“I don’t suppose Hogwarts has the kind of girl you’re looking for, either, does it?” she said with a smirk.

“I don’t think there’s a girl for me anywhere, to be honest.”

Hermione’s eyebrows dipped suspiciously. She’d heard the emphasis on the key word but wasn’t entirely sure if that was what he’d meant.

“You’re…” she began, but hesitated, feeling enormously awkward at the turn in the conversation. Surely Draco Malfoy wasn’t admitting something such as this to her of all people.

“I’m gay, Granger,” he laughed. "You can say it." Her eyes went wide.

“You … really?”

“I only recently discovered so,” he said lightly. “But yes.”

“When did you figure it out, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Not through experience, if that’s what you mean,” he said with a smirk. She felt her cheeks heat up. “It was just more of a realization, I guess. Simple as that.”

“Does-er-anyone else know?”

“Only you.” He said this with a small, almost sad smile. Hermione felt stunned. “But it’s not because I’m trying to hide it. There just hasn’t been a reason to say anything. There’s not been much time recently for that sort of thing.”

Hermione nodded silently, attempting to process this information. She’d never in a million years have guessed that Draco was gay. Sure, he had somewhat delicate features, but that had always just been a part of his arrogant, aristocratic nature-nothing to point toward homosexuality. In fact, his features weren’t exactly a choice, although she supposed he could have done something to make himself look a bit more masculine.

Now that she was thinking about it, Hermione realized Malfoy certainly had had rather feminine tendencies over the years. He was dramatic to the extreme and seemed to hold grudges in a way that boys never really did. Not to mention how vicious he could be. He was as bad as some women.

She wondered suddenly if he had his eye on anyone at Hogwarts.

“Does Hogwarts have the kind of boy you’re looking for, then?” she asked quietly, hoping she hadn’t crossed any boundaries. To her immense relief, he smiled, though it was a sad smile and made her heart clench.

She briefly marveled at the fact that she felt sorry for Draco.

“I don’t think that matters much,” he said. Hermione looked on in confusion. “Regardless of whether or not I want someone from Hogwarts, the pressing issue is whether he could ever see me that way.” Again, Hermione wasn’t sure how to interpret Draco’s words. Did he mean someone in particular, or was it just a general use of the male pronoun? It would make sense, after all, if he was gay. But the look on his face told Hermione there may have been something else there. She decided, for now, to skip it, and attack the other question instead.

“Because of the War?” she asked carefully. Draco laughed somewhat humorlessly and nodded once.

“Something like that.”

Before Hermione could prod further Carina came bounding back up the grassy slope, laughing wildly, and threw herself into her father’s lap. Hermione watched with a smile as Draco’s eyes lit up and he wrapped his arms around the small girl, holding her backwards against his chest. She was breathing heavily but grinning all the same.

“Did you find the squid?” he asked, resting his chin on her shoulder. Carina shook her head.

“I couldn’t see him,” she said grumpily, “but I found fishies!”

“What kind of fishies?” Hermione asked. Carina looked at her excitedly.

“Little ones! Lots of them!”

“Were they pretty?” Draco asked, and Hermione could see him smiling into his daughter’s hair. She bit her lip, suddenly overcome by happiness at the sight. It was truly a beautiful thing, the two of them.

“Oh, yes!” Carina said enthusiastically. She gasped, then, and wriggled around in Draco’s lap until she faced him. His eyebrows rose in amusement. “Papa, could I have one?”

Hermione chuckled.

“Sweetheart, you just got Emilie!”

“Yes, but those fishies are so pretty, Papa!”

“We’ll see,” he said mischievously, winking at his daughter. This seemed to satisfy her because she smiled before maneuvering back around and hopping out of his lap to find the cats, both of whom were curled up in the grass, soaking up the last rays of sunshine for the day.

Draco looked briefly at his watch and sighed, staring thoughtfully at Carina as she disrupted Emilie and Crookshanks.

“What time is it?” Hermione asked. Draco looked at her for a moment, seemingly haven been shaken from a reverie, before answering.

“Nearly eight.”

“We should go in,” Hermione said. Draco sighed and looked back to Carina. He nodded.

Together they went to collect Carina and both the cats and then walked back up to the castle, Crookshanks leisurely following behind, Emilie in Hermione’s arms, and Draco carrying Carina, whose thumb had found her mouth and her cheek his shoulder.

When they reached the entrance hall Draco put Carina down in order to take Emilie from Hermione.

“See you tomorrow, Carina,” she smiled. The little girl, whose thumb was still in her mouth, grinned sleepily around the digit and waved. Hermione chuckled and looked up at Draco. “We should talk again sometime.”

“Yeah,” said Draco softly. “G’night.”

“’Night.” She watched the two of them descend the stairs into the dungeon before climbing up to Gryffindor Tower. She found Ron and Harry sitting in their usual chairs by the fire, playing a game of wizard chess, which Harry was quite apparently losing.

“Bad luck, mate,” Ron said as one of his pieces threw Harry’s off the board. Harry looked up when Hermione came closer and immediately seemed to forget the game.

“How’d it go?” he asked. Ron looked up as well and abandoned the game to join the interrogation.

“Was it terrible?”

Hermione sighed but smiled. “Budge up,” she said, and sat down when Ron made space for her on the chair. “She was extremely pleasant.” Ron made a sour face. “And as for Draco … well, he’s changed a lot.”

“Ugh, we’ve lost her, Harry,” Ron said dramatically. “To a ferret, no less.”

“Shut up, Ron,” Harry laughed, though Hermione could tell he was a bit nervous beneath the façade. “What did you guys do?”

“We went to the beech tree-” Ron groaned, “-and just talked for a while. Carina went to play by the lake and Draco told me a little bit about-er-the mother…” She wondered suddenly whether it was her place to say anything. She was almost positive Draco wouldn’t care, but still… And what about the other bit of information? That Draco fancied boys? He’d said he wasn’t trying to hide it, but would it be wise to tell these two? She couldn’t be sure how Ron and Harry would take it.

“He told you about the mother?” Harry asked, looking both interested and ambivalent.

“Yes. Carina had asked about Crookshanks’s name and so I asked about Emilie, and she told me that it had been her mother’s name.”

“Had been?” Ron asked, eyebrows furrowed. Harry bit his lip, seemingly aware of the path down which they were headed.

“She died,” he guessed. Hermione nodded. Ron’s eyes went wide.

“Blimey,” he whispered. “Did he tell you how?”

“He told me quite a bit, actually. During the holidays of our fifth year he went with his family to France and got a French girl pregnant, which makes sense now that I think about it because Carina calls Draco 'Papa' and-"

“Fifth year?” Harry interrupted, looking surprised. Hermione nodded.

“She was born in September of our sixth year. He said Emilie had told him when she was two months in, so he knew already when we came to school.”

“Fuck,” Harry whispered. “That entire year I was… And he had a daughter to worry about the whole time…”

“Yeah. Emilie was two years older than us, though, so by the time she had Carina she was out of school and able to take care of her.”

“Two years older?” Ron said. “What a little slag, he is!”

“Stop it, Ron,” Hermione said harshly. He had the decency to look slightly ashamed. “Carina visited the Manor a few times that year, I guess. I assume it was on holidays when Draco was there to see her, though it can't have been entirely pleasant.”

“So when did the mum die?” Harry prodded.

“He said she died of ovarian cancer a few weeks after Carina’s first birthday. So it had to have been some time in September.” It struck her that not only was Carina’s third birthday coming up, but the anniversary of Emilie’s death. “Emilie’s parents kept her through the remainder of the War and Draco said he took her back once he’d been cleared of charges, thanks to you,” she said, looking at Harry. He blushed lightly and looked down at his hands in his lap.

“Does he miss her?” Harry asked quietly. Hermione contemplated her answer for a few moments.

“He didn’t really say anything about that. Just that Carina had been an accident and he hadn’t loved Emilie.” Harry looked up suddenly. Hermione noted this. “But I’m sure he misses her, if only a little bit.”

“So why is the kid at school with him now?” Ron asked.

“Well, Lucius is in jail and Narcissa died, and apparently Emilie’s parents refused to take Carina in. They blame their daughter’s death on Draco.”

“What?” Harry looked thoroughly offended by this information. Even Ron appeared uncomfortable.

“But that doesn’t make any sense,” he said. “How could that be his fault? It’s not like he gave her cancer!”

“Yes, well, people come to absurd conclusions sometimes when it comes to their children. Anyway, he didn’t tell me how he managed it, but I assume he spoke to McGonagall before coming.” She paused for a moment. “He adores her, you know.”

“Carina?” Harry asked.

“Yeah. He told me he’s glad she’s here. That she’s all he has. Technically, she is. I mean, Lucius is the only other family he has left, isn’t he? And he’s in Azkaban for life.”

A pregnant silence ensued, lasting a fair few minutes before Harry finally spoke.

“What about finding someone else?” he said quietly. “I mean, he could find another mother for her, couldn’t he?”

Hermione bit her lip.

“Actually, there’s something else he told me, as well…”

“What?” Ron looked far more interested than he would probably ever care to admit. Harry, too, was clearly engrossed in the conversation, though he had a nervous air about him.

“What did he tell you?” Harry pressed when she stayed silent.

“Please don’t make a big deal of it.”

“Merlin, it’s that big?” said Ron with wide eyes.

“Well, no, it’s just-”

“Oh, just tell us!” Harry said loudly. Hermione looked back and forth between them before making her decision. She took a breath.

“Well… He’s gay.”

Link to Chapter Four