Happy Holidays Skia9!
Title: Feel Like The World Just Got Lighter
Recipient: Skia9
Author/Artist: to be revealed January 3rd, 2012
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Explicit sex, language, jealousy, angst, subtle homophobia
Word Count: 7048
Summary: Blaine has written a love song as a Christmas gift, and Kurt is SO EXCITED. But is the song really for Kurt, or is it for someone else?
Notes: Thank you so much to reremouse for beta reading for me! I really appreciate it! :D
The Thursday before Christmas, Kurt is still blissfully content in his relationship, and it hasn't occurred to him yet to worry whether Blaine might love someone else. Kurt wakes up slowly in the morning, on his back, drifting into awareness as the sunlight starts to fill his room. His blanket covers him only up to his chest, and it feels soft and warm around him. He yawns and stretches, feeling relaxed and happy. No school and no alarm clocks for two weeks. It will be his first Christmas with a boyfriend. Nothing can ruin his good mood.
He takes his time showering, dressing, and eating breakfast before heading over to Blaine’s. He parks in front of the house a little before one o’clock, and as he’s heading up the walk, he sees Blaine’s father opening the front door.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Anderson,” Kurt greets him.
“Afternoon.” He’s still tying his scarf around his neck, using his foot to hold the door for Kurt.
“Do you have the day off work today?”
“I just came home for lunch.”
“That sounds lovely,” Kurt smiles. He kicks the snow off his boots before stepping inside the house.
“What would be ‘lovely’ would be two weeks of vacation, like you boys get,” Mr. Anderson grumbles, gathering his keys and briefcase.
“It must be a very busy time of year for you.”
“No rest for the wicked. Blaine’s in his room.” Mr. Anderson starts down the path to his own car.
“Thank you. Bye!”
Kurt shuts the door after him, takes off his boots, and hangs up his coat. He heads up the stairs, and hears music coming from Blaine’s room. A piano and Blaine’s voice. It sounds tinny, like it’s coming from small speakers. The song is something slow and sentimental, but Kurt’s not familiar with it.
A smile pulls at Kurt’s lips as he peeks into the bedroom. Blaine is sitting cross-legged on his bed with his back to the door, with his laptop open in front of him. His hair is messy, his feet are bare, and his t-shirt has rucked up to reveal a sliver of skin at his waist. There are waveforms on the screen, showing the music that’s playing, and Blaine uses the cursor to adjust what looks like a mixer with sliders.
Blaine’s recorded voice sings: “And you just had no fear. Had I really seen you before? I always want you near, but suddenly I wanted more.”
A love song? Kurt takes a deep breath and knocks cheerily. “Hi Blaine!”
Blaine’s voice through the laptop speakers keeps going. “If my love was true, then this I knew -” Blaine slams the lid closed, stopping the music abruptly, and turns around, wide-eyed and blushing. “Kurt! Hi! You didn’t hear that did you?”
Kurt just smiles. “Hear what?” He struggles to keep his excitement from bursting out. Blaine is recording a love song!
“Nothing!” Blaine says. “How are you?” He scoots off the bed and comes over to wrap Kurt in a warm embrace.
Kurt breathes against Blaine’s neck. “Good. Really good.” He sounds breathy, he knows, and his heart is racing. He manages to contain himself. “Are you having a good day?”
Blaine releases him from the hug and strokes his hands up and down Kurt’s upper arms. “Yep! Just, you know, wasting time until I could see your face again.”
“Such a romantic.” Kurt grins a goofy, wide grin.
"So, do I get you for the rest of the day?"
"Of course. I have absolutely nowhere to be." Kurt's eyes dart to Blaine's lips. "Tomorrow too. If you'll have me."
"Ah, well... I kind of made plans to hang out here with Jeff tomorrow. So, you know. It won't be very sexy."
Kurt laughs.
"But you should definitely still come over. We can all hang out together."
"So, I think this is our last chance to be alone for a while," Kurt frowns. "Saturday I'm getting groceries and helping Finn wrap presents. Sunday is Christmas, obviously. And I am having a proper Christmas, with my amazingly average nuclear family, without interruption from the outside world all day long, so help me god -”
Blaine ducks his head, grinning and chuckling.
"But maybe the day after?"
Blaine's smile falters. "My parents are having a big party that day."
"Oh, like a private, family thing?"
"No, no, you're invited. I want you to come. I mean a bunch of relatives are coming, and some of my parents’ colleagues, but there’ll be good food and music and stuff. It could be fun.”
"Ok." Kurt smiles. "I'd love to."
"You're right though. This is our last chance for a while." Blaine presses his mouth to Kurt's. "And I think we'd better take full advantage of this rare opportunity."
"Oh really." Kurt smiles against Blaine's lips.
"Really." Blaine kisses him tenderly, then sucks Kurt’s bottom lip, nibbles it teasingly. He wraps his arms around Kurt’s body, glides one hand down to press against his lower back and pull him closer.
Kurt feels warm, and slightly short of breath. He inhales sharply through his nose as he deepens the kiss, feeling the press of Blaine’s tongue and the roughness of his stubble. His knees feel weak. He’s so overwhelmed by the kiss and the achingly beautiful gesture of maybe possibly probably having a love song recorded for him, so he rests forward against Blaine’s chest and holds on to the back of Blaine’s shirt, gripping with his fists.
Kurt’s head is swimming and his blood is rushing, and he feels it hot and tingly all the way down to his cock. He presses slowly, subtly, against the curve of Blaine’s hip, through their clothes, and gasps when Blaine responds by thrusting back, hard. Kurt turns his head aside and breathes deeply, smiling, biting his lip.
“Kurt.” Blaine lowers his head and his lips tickle against Kurt’s neck. “Would you... I know you just got here, and we should be spending time together, talking, but...”
“I’m ok with not talking.” Kurt’s voice is breathy and low.
Blaine raises his head and looks into Kurt’s eyes. “Would you... Please. I want you.”
“Would I what?” Kurt’s lips curve in a small smile. “Tell me.”
Blaine’s eyes flutter closed and his hips buck forward again. “Fuck me. Kurt, please fuck me.”
Kurt blushes, more with lust than anything else. He kisses Blaine again, hard and fast, then moves his hands to Blaine’s hips and pushes him roughly, walking him backward until Blaine’s back hits the wall. He presses his lips against Blaine’s, and keeps kissing him messily even as he reaches down to undo Blaine’s pants. He pops the button, slides the zipper down, feels Blaine squirming and gasping as he pushes his pants to fall to the floor.
Kurt grins when Blaine’s cock springs free. No underwear. Kurt takes it in his hand and strokes it, squeezes it in his fingers, feels it pulse. He feels his own cock twitch in response, and pulls Blaine’s hips away from the wall so he can reach behind him and touch his hole. He hears Blaine grunt and feels him push backward against his finger. He circles Blaine’s entrance, presses, and it’s already slick. His finger slides in easily.
Kurt tilts his head, confused. “Did you...?”
“Yeah,” Blaine breathes, panting. “This morning. I already...”
Kurt’s face burns in a rush of heat. “Fingered yourself?” The thought makes his skin tingle all over. He adds a second finger, and kneels down to get a better angle, to push in deeper. He holds still while Blaine kicks his pants off and spreads his legs. Then Kurt thrusts in and out, pressing forward, making Blaine jerk and gasp.
“Kurt, please.”
Kurt slides his fingers out and hurriedly, clumsily, undoes his own pants. He pulls his cock through the slit in his underwear, and it’s so hard, so sensitive. He reaches over to grope around inside the drawer of the bedside table and retrieves a bottle of lube and a condom, and hands them to Blaine.
He stands and kisses Blaine’s neck, licks up to his ear, making him moan. He feels Blaine’s hands on him, holding his cock, rolling the condom on, stroking it, making it slippery with lube. His grip is just this side of too gentle, teasing. It’s making him crazy.
Kurt positions himself between Blaine’s legs, his hands on Blaine’s waist, and bends his knees a bit to slide his cock under Blaine’s body, to line up against him. Blaine throws his hands around Kurt's neck and spreads his legs further, angling his hips, trying to feel Kurt where he wants him. He groans in frustration.
Suddenly Kurt gets a hand under Blaine’s leg and pulls it up around his waist, lifting Blaine and slamming him back against the wall, pushing in. It's tight, and Blaine cries out, "Fuck," squirming and panting, but rocks against Kurt to get more, to get deeper. He tenses his arms around Kurt's neck, raises his other leg up and wraps them both around Kurt's waist, squeezing tight, biting his lip and grunting. "Please, please, Kurt -"
Kurt grips both Blaine's thighs with his hands to hold him up and bucks up into him with short, jerky thrusts. Every movement slides Blaine's back against the wall, and Kurt's thighs ache with the effort of holding him up, but it feels too good to stop. Blaine is so tight around him and moaning so shamelessly.
"Oh god Kurt, so good -"
Kurt kisses Blaine's lips, his jaw, his chin, and fucks him urgently and gracelessly. He feels Blaine's cock pressed between them, pulsing and leaking. He feels Blaine rock his hips back and jerk at a sudden change in angle.
"There, yes, there -"
Kurt feels the slick slide around his cock, the squeezing pressure, and gasps, gripping tighter, almost slipping as he fucks Blaine harder. The muscles in Kurt's thighs tremble and his movements stutter.
"Oh fuck, I'm so close. Don't stop, don't stop -"
So he keeps going, gritting his teeth, panting against Blaine's lips, thrusting up hard, once, twice, and then Blaine throws his head back and arches, gasping "Fuck!" His cock pulses and he comes, hot spurts of it shooting between them, and that's what does it for Kurt. He pounds into Blaine, slamming him back into the wall as his orgasm overtakes him and he cries out, exhausted.
His grip does slip then, just a little, and Blaine carefully lowers his feet to the floor. They stand there, leaning against each other, panting, and Blaine laughs, a ridiculous grin on his face. "That was... amazing."
Kurt can't help but smile back at him. "You think we can get my clothes clean and dry before I have to leave?"
Blaine kisses Kurt's neck. "We have all afternoon. Plenty of time." He keeps pecking more tiny kisses all over Kurt's face. "You'll just have to be naked in the meantime, I'm afraid."
Kurt laughs. "Don't worry. I'm up for the challenge."
--
The next day, Jeff is already there when Kurt arrives at Blaine’s house. Kurt settles himself on the bed and says "So what were you two talking about before I got here?"
Jeff rolls his eyes. "My sad, pathetic love life. And Wes's sad, pathetic love life." He grins, and Blaine laughs out loud.
"Am I missing something? Doesn't he have a girlfriend?"
Blaine says, "Yeah, no, she's great and everything. She's nice. Friendly."
"Really friendly." Jeff waggles his eyebrows.
Blaine grins and kneels on the bed, leaning forward into Jeff's space. He bats his eyelashes and speaks in a fake, high voice. "Jeff, would you be a sweetheart and escort me to my car? You don't mind if we link arms do you? To keep the bad guys away?"
Jeff adopts a similar girlish tone and strokes Blaine's upper arms. "Have you been working out? Wow, what a physique. I could just eat you up!"
The two dissolve in giggles, and Kurt can't help laughing along with them. "Is she really like that?"
Jeff says "She has needed help zipping up her dress more times than anyone I've ever met."
Blaine chuckles. "And she does European kisses too." He demonstrates by kissing one of Jeff's cheeks and then the other.
Kurt laughs again, just as an alarm goes off on Blaine's phone.
“We put a pizza in before you got here,” Blaine explains.
Jeff shouts "Oven pizza!" then bounds off the bed and heads downstairs.
"Wanna come?" Blaine asks, grinning.
Kurt smiles. "I'll just wait for you here."
Once they're gone, Kurt touches his hair and tries to fix it by hand, in case it had been ruined by the wind on the way over. He frowns and leans over to open the drawer of Blaine's bedside table to find the pocket mirror he keeps there. He finds the mirror, but he also notices something new, behind Blaine's sleep mask and the condoms and lube.
It's a shiny CD-R in a clear case with no cover. The CD has a big heart drawn on it in red Sharpie. Kurt can't help grinning a huge, lovestruck grin. This must be the love song Blaine has been working on. Now it's certain: the song is a present! For Christmas! Kurt bounces a little on the bed and squeaks like a twelve-year-old.
He hears their voices nearing the bottom of the stairs, so he puts the CD back and quickly checks himself in the mirror. He shuts the drawer and gets into a casual pose just in time.
"Dinner is served!" Jeff announces as he enters the room, carrying two plates. He hands one to Kurt.
"I put all the red pepper from mine onto yours," Blaine says, and leans in for a quick kiss.
"Mm, thank you." Kurt smiles. "You're always doing nice things for me."
"Actually that was a selfish thing for me," Blaine says, sitting on the edge of the bed and nibbling a slice of his own pizza. "Red pepper is disgusting."
"All the same." Kurt nudges him with his foot. “I suddenly desperately need to know what heartfelt token of your love you’re getting me for Christmas. When can we exchange gifts?”
Blaine laughs. “Well, not Christmas Day -"
"Because of my plans."
"But we could do the day after?”
Kurt tilts his head. “You want to give me my present at your parents’ big Christmas thing?”
“Of course! It’s a party; that’s where presents happen.”
Wow. This sounds like a big deal. Such a romantic gesture in front of his whole family. A love song. Kurt bites his lip and nods. “Ok.” He reaches over to touch the back of Blaine's hand and says: “It’s a date.”
Kurt watches the other boys eat for a minute, trying to will away his blush and his inappropriate hard-on. Then he gives up, puts his plate down, and says "Blaine, could you help me with something for a minute? Out in the hallway?" Jeff snickers, but Kurt ignores him and leaves the room.
When Blaine joins him, Kurt reaches around him to close the door, then presses himself against Blaine to kiss him eagerly and deeply. Blaine is surprised, and gasps against Kurt's lips, but kisses back without hesitation.
Blaine pulls back just enough to speak between kisses. "What's this all about?"
Kurt reaches down to stroke Blaine's ass through his pants. "Tell me how soon we can be alone together."
"Mmm..." Blaine sighs contentedly. "Tuesday. Everyone goes back to work Tuesday."
"Not soon enough." Kurt is practically buzzing with excitement. He has the most romantic boyfriend in the world. He grinds their hips together and nibbles Blaine's lower lip to make him moan.
"Kurt," Blaine laughs, but doesn't pull away. "Jeff is waiting..."
"Screw Jeff." Kurt ducks his head to lick and kiss Blaine's neck, then pauses. "Don't screw Jeff. You know what I mean."
Blaine laughs again. "We should get back in there."
Kurt bucks his hips forward one more time, then sighs and steps back, putting space between them. "Ok. I'm ok."
"Don't worry. Tuesday will come soon enough."
Kurt bites his lip and smiles. "I can't wait."
--
To Blaine: WTF. Finn hasn’t finished his shopping. It’s Christmas Eve and we’re going out to buy presents. There is some intense eyerolling happening over here.
To Kurt: Relatives are arriving and staying overnight. My aunt Mary literally said “My, look how you’ve grown.” No lie. Whyyyyyy?
To Blaine: No, Finn, you are not being subtle when you ask my opinion on a jacket and then ask me to go and buy you a Coke.
To Kurt: OMG My uncle Joe is making awkward conversation about sports teams and why I don’t have a girlfriend yet. Make it stop. Please make it stop.
To Blaine: We’ve been at the mall for four hours and we’re not done and Finn can’t make decisions and there are a million people here and I still have to get groceries. IT SHOULDN’T BE THIS HARD.
To Kurt: Sure, maybe I just haven’t met the right girl yet. That must be it.
To Blaine: Home at last. Making Finn wrap presents by himself as punishment. Looking up recipes and doing nothing else constructive for the rest of the evening.
To Kurt: My cousin is in my room looking around at my stuff. I can feel him judging me. Get your hands off my polo trophies!
To Blaine: Courage. Try to have a good sleep.
To Kurt: CHRISTMAS MORNING CHRISTMAS MORNING CHRISTMAS MORNING
To Blaine: Merry Christmas! I have mincemeat pie!
To Kurt: LOL OMG Horse-opoly! I didn’t even know this existed!
To Blaine: You should see this hat! My dad always comes through with the most stylish accessories when I tell him exactly what I want and where to get it.
To Kurt: LOL The Clydesdale and Percheron are Park Place and Boardwalk. Hahahaha we have to play this some time!
To Blaine: Deathly Hallows 2 special edition gift pack Bluray with photo album I am the happiest boy!
To Kurt: iPhone 4S with Siri! This is so awesome!
To Blaine: There is wrapping paper everywhere. This place looks like a bomb hit it.
To Kurt: This is a test.
To Blaine: Test successful?
To Kurt: I just texted you with Siri!
To Blaine: I have no idea how we’re going to coordinate everything being done at the same time, but I’m so excited for making this whole big dinner with Carole.
To Kurt: Haha the meaning of life is chocolate. Ok I am spending the entire day asking Siri random things just to see what it says.
To Blaine: I can’t wait to give you your present tomorrow. And to get mine.
To Kurt: I can’t wait either. I love you. <3
--
The day after Christmas, Kurt arrives at the party in the early afternoon, when it’s just getting started. There is an overwhelmingly large number of people he’s never met before, and some of them are noisy children. He sticks close by Blaine as he wanders around nibbling truffles and shortbread, politely chatting with everyone. There’s an ongoing soundtrack of Christmas music, some of it terrible (Why did you do this to yourself, Christina Aguilera? An entire album? Really?) and some of it really pretty good. (Kurt will never admit how much he likes Michael Buble.)
An older lady in a disaster of a pantsuit comes over at one point to greet them. “Hello, dear! You must be Blaine’s friend. Kurt, was it?”
Kurt looks at Blaine, then back to her, wondering if he should correct her. Technically they are friends, as well as boyfriends, so she’s not wrong... “Yes, Kurt. Hi. And you are?”
Blaine doesn’t correct her either. She introduces herself as Blaine’s “favorite auntie Christy” and laughingly tells them not to spoil their supper before excusing herself to mingle with the rest of the guests.
The next few hours or so are similarly awkward. Blaine isn’t close to his extended family or even remotely familiar with his parents’ colleagues, and Kurt knows all of three people there by name, so they whisper criticisms to each other of people’s outfits and behaviors while being unerringly polite to their faces. Kurt’s description of one woman’s dress (“an orange leopard nightmare that somehow devoured her body while leaving her disproportionate chest intact to bounce around in the open and frighten the children”) has Blaine laughing so hard he almost spits shortbread all over the carpet.
Blaine coughs and sputters himself back to a state of composure and wipes his eyes just in time to greet his grandfather, who has had a few glasses of wine and whose accent is even thicker and more incomprehensible to Kurt than it had been earlier. Blaine doesn’t seem to have any trouble though. As rude as it is, Kurt is relieved that the old man doesn’t address him at all, so he doesn’t have to decipher his words or look to Blaine for interpretation. That would have been embarrassing.
After dinner, (which is delicious and beautiful, straight out of a Martha Stewart Living photo spread) Blaine’s mother declares that it’s time to exchange presents. The office people go first, which is mostly tedious for Kurt. Then Blaine receives an heirloom set of cufflinks and a tie clip from his grandfather, along with a new journal and fancy pen. Blaine looks genuinely touched, and gives his grandfather a pair of leather gloves Kurt had helped him pick out.
When it’s Kurt’s turn, he gives Blaine’s parents their gift from him: a vanilla and sandalwood body wash and lotion set. They thank him politely and give him a box of chocolates and a gift card to the movie theatre. Then Kurt is suddenly nervous about his gift to Blaine. He clutches it in his fingers and looks around at all the strangers in the room: Blaine’s relatives, and Blaine’s parents’ business associates, all silently judging him and most of them presumably unaware of the nature of Kurt’s relationship with Blaine. He swallows, closes his eyes for just a second, bolsters his courage, and hands Blaine his gift.
It’s a small scrapbook that Kurt has been working on for months, adding items to it whenever he thinks to. There are photos of the two of them (alone, with the Warblers, with the New Directions...) along with notes, journal entries, ticket stubs from plays and movies, a pressed flower, a flattened coffee cup sleeve from the Lima Bean... Kurt watches Blaine’s face as he looks through it. Blaine is unable to suppress a delighted smile, and is blushing slightly.
Everyone is watching, and Mrs. Anderson says “What is it?”
Blaine’s face falls. He awkwardly closes the book and holds it in his lap. He says “It’s a scrapbook of, um, the Warblers.” He turns to Kurt, grinning again. “It’s really amazing. Thank you so much, Kurt.”
“You’re welcome.” Kurt offers a small, shy smile.
Then Blaine hands a gift to Kurt, and Kurt’s heart races in anticipation. It’s shaped very much like two CD cases stacked together. This is it, the moment he’s been waiting for. He unwraps it carefully as butterflies do somersaults in his stomach. When the paper is off, it turns out not to be two CD cases at all. It’s a small, flat, white box. Kurt swallows and knits his eyebrows in confusion. He takes the lid off.
Inside is a brooch. It looks like a smooth silver starfish. It’s gorgeous. Elegant. It would go with just about anything. It’s large enough to draw the eye without being comical. It’s unique yet not overstated. It’s exactly the kind of thing Kurt would have chosen for himself. It would be the perfect gift, if Kurt hadn’t been expecting a love song. His chest burns with disappointment. He sits, with his head bowed, staring down at it for a long moment. He blinks quickly and flares his nostrils, willing himself not to sniff. Then he looks up at Blaine, smiles a tight, forced smile, and says “Thank you.”
Blaine frowns and looks at the floor. He mumbles “There’s a gift receipt if - I just thought it suited you. If you hate it then -”
“No!” Kurt shakes his head. “No, it’s great, I love it. Don’t worry.”
“Are you sure?”
“Really. It’s really great. Thank you.”
Blaine nods a quick, terse nod, still frowning.
Mrs. Anderson says “Lovely. Who do we have next? Judy? There’s something for you under the tree...”
As soon as the room’s attention is refocused elsewhere, Kurt whispers to Blaine “I’m just going to - bathroom -” and darts up out of his chair and down the hall without waiting for a response. He locks himself in the bathroom and cries a little, as quietly as he can, finally letting the tears fall freely. He hugs himself as his shoulders shake, because if the song wasn’t for him, who was it for? He tries to recall the words. Suddenly I wanted more. It sounds like a friendship that has recently developed into love.
He thinks of the way Blaine and Jeff act around each other, playfully kissing and flirting, so casually, like it’s not a big deal. Like they’re just that comfortable with each other. Right in front of him, god. How could he be so stupid? No wonder Blaine was so awkward when he thought Kurt had heard the song. It’s not even for him.
He takes deep breaths and stops his silent sobbing. He sniffles, blows his nose, and washes his face. He leaves the bathroom and is startled to find Blaine standing in the hall waiting for him. He wonders if his sniffling had been audible through the door.
“Are you ok?” Blaine asks.
“Fine.”
Blaine eyes him warily but accepts his answer. They head back to the living room to watch the rest of the gifts getting opened. They don’t mention it again, and things feel tense between them for the rest of the evening.
When it’s time to leave, Blaine walks Kurt to the door, watches him get dressed in his coat and scarf, and they both step outside.
“Thank you for coming,” Blaine says. “It would have been so dull without you.”
Kurt twists from side to side and says “Thank you for my starfish,” gesturing to the box he’s clutching tight in his hands.
Blaine bites his lip, then leans in, with his hands on Kurt’s chest, and kisses him. Kurt lets Blaine come to him and doesn’t meet him halfway. He doesn’t put his arms around Blaine either, but he does kiss back. It feels forced and strange.
Their lips are still together when they hear the door handle turn. They jump apart, as if they’ve been burned, and look around nervously as Blaine’s auntie Christy comes out. “Good evening, boys!” she says. “Merry Christmas!”
She seems to be taking her time getting down the walk to her car, and there’s no way to casually stand around waiting for her to be gone. Blaine smiles and pats Kurt’s shoulder. “Goodnight, Kurt.”
Kurt scuffs his shoes on the doorstep, waves slightly, and turns to go. “Night.”
--
Tuesday. The day they had planned to be together all day, alone. The day Kurt has been waiting for, longing for the comfort of just being himself around Blaine, for that intimacy, without judgement from the outside world. It’s finally here, and it isn’t right.
Kurt wakes up uncomfortable and cold. He had lain down in bed crying, and fallen asleep in his clothes. They’re wrinkled and bunched under him, and he had kicked the blanket off in the night. All the layers had felt like too much, but now he’s shivering. His nose is stuffy.
He gets up, undresses, and showers, feeling groggy, making the water as hot as he can stand. Afterward he doesn’t feel like cooking, so he has a Mandarin orange and some gingerbread for breakfast, then dresses in something comfortable and warm, and not quite as fabulous as usual. Then he drives to Blaine’s house.
When Blaine answers the door, he smiles widely, says “Morning, Kurt,” and leans in for a kiss. Kurt ducks his head right before their lips connect, causing Blaine to hesitate, but then he looks up, their eyes meet, and Blaine closes the distance between them. The kiss is short and one-sided, but Blaine looks charmingly pleased as he backs up to give Kurt room to enter the house.
Kurt sighs softly as he takes off his boots and coat. Blaine says “Is something wrong?”
Kurt shakes his head. “Just tired, from socializing. And all that Christmas planning wore me out. I’m still recharging.”
Blaine nods and rubs Kurt’s back. “Well, you don’t have to do anything but relax today. You’ll feel better soon.”
Blaine leads the way to the living room, and they sit on the couch, Blaine cross-legged and lazy, and Kurt straight-backed and formal. Blaine says “So... what’s been your favorite part of Christmas this year?”
Kurt shrugs. “I don’t know. Time off from school. Maybe the food.”
Blaine nods. “Food is good. I got some pretty great presents too.”
Kurt says “And spending time with my family, actually acting like a family, has been... I don’t know. Nostalgic. That’s the wrong word. Finn is a good brother, all things considered.”
Blaine grins. “It’s so good to hang out with people that way. It’s been really nice seeing my friends lately. The Warblers, Jeff...”
Before he knows what’s happening, Kurt has burst into tears. Just seeing Blaine talking so happily about Jeff has his chin quivering and his eyes tearing up. He puts his hands in front of his mouth in an ineffectual attempt at hiding it.
Blaine strokes Kurt’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s ok.” He looks so concerned, frowning and watching Kurt’s face. “You know, you can make plans with them too... You should. I know they’d love to see you...”
Kurt almost wants to laugh. It would be sweet, the way Blaine misunderstands, if he wasn’t to blame for Kurt’s distress. If he wasn’t secretly in love with another guy. Kurt whispers “Are you more excited about seeing any of them than seeing me?”
“No!” Blaine shakes his head and squeezes Kurt’s arm. “No, of course not. I love you. There’s no one I’d rather spend my time with.”
Kurt wraps his arms around himself and scrunches his eyes shut.
Blaine leans toward him and bumps his forehead against Kurt’s shoulder playfully. “Hey.” He sits up and looks at Kurt. “What’s this about?”
Kurt just shrugs and shakes his head. He’s not sobbing or shaking. It’s a quiet sort of cry today. He wipes his eyes with his sleeve.
Blaine says “I have something I want to show you. If that’s ok.”
Kurt looks up and meets his eyes.
“I’m not sure if it’s the right moment - I mean I wanted to show you today, but I thought you’d be... happier? But maybe it’ll cheer you up. At least, I hope it will.”
Kurt sniffs, and closes his eyes against Blaine’s hopeful, concerned face. Then he nods. “Ok.”
Blaine gets up off the couch and crosses the room to the piano. He sits on the bench and scoots it forward a bit, takes a breath, and starts to play.
It’s slow and sentimental, just like the love song Kurt had heard. The one he had been expecting as a gift. Blaine sings “When we first met, you were strong but afraid. And all I desired was to come to your aid.”
Kurt recognizes the tune. It is that song.
“Much more than love, you needed a friend. I offered you courage and gave you my hand.”
Courage. Kurt thinks of the texts Blaine sent him, that first week they met.
“There wasn't much that I could do, but courage was something I could give to you.”
Kurt laughs softly through his tears. This can’t be about anyone but him. He can’t believe now that he had ever doubted Blaine.
“When I saw your heart I had to see it through. I wanted everyone to see my love for you. And you just had no fear. Had I really seen you before? I always want you near, but suddenly I wanted more. If my love was true, then this I knew: I could be brave if I had you.”
And now it’s obvious. Of course Blaine couldn’t have presented this song to him in front of his family. He couldn’t even kiss him in front of his aunt. He couldn’t even show off the scrapbook of the two of them. Kurt feels so, so guilty.
“Now I know you deeper and I see the path we've laid. Somehow it won't occur to me to even be afraid.”
And now he’s crying with joy. His tears fall freely even as he grins. This beautiful song was written for him.
“So with every joy you give me and all we've yet to do, I won't need any courage. I only need you.” Blaine’s voice rises with emotion. “And all I want to do is spend every minute of every day...” The notes on the piano resolve to a major chord. “With you.”
Blaine holds the last note and lets the chord ring out, then finishes, ducking his head, taking a deep breath, lowering his hands to his knees. He turns on the bench to look at Kurt. “So. That was it. What do you think?”
Kurt laughs and sobs. “Blaine...”
“Oh, hey...” Blaine comes over to sit by Kurt and wrap him up in his arms. “Is this a good cry? Are you ok?”
“I’m so sorry Blaine, I thought -” Kurt hiccups and wipes his face. “I mean. Thank you. That was just... Gorgeous. I didn’t even know you wrote music. I love it.”
“Oh good.” Blaine breathes a sigh of relief and strokes Kurt’s back.
“I’m sorry I’m such a spaz.”
“It’s ok. I’m just glad you like it.”
“No, I mean... I thought maybe - Oh god, you’re going to hate me.”
“What? Why?”
“I heard the song before, in your room. Just a little bit of it. I thought maybe it wasn’t for me, because you didn’t give it to me at the party.”
“Oh, god, I couldn’t give it to you there...”
“I know!” Kurt wails, and Blaine chuckles at him. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve been such a jealous asshole...”
Blaine just laughs. “Are you ok?”
Kurt wipes his eyes again. “Yeah. Sorry. That was amazing. And the starfish was amazing too. It just, you know, wasn’t a song...”
“Oh...” Blaine raises his eyebrows as realization dawns on him. “That explains so much...”
Kurt sputters with laughter.
“Come on.” Blaine pats Kurt’s back decisively and stands up. “Let’s get the CD so you can take it home with you.”
“Thank you Blaine.” Kurt gets up to follow him up the stairs. “I’m really sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Yes I do.”
Blaine looks back at him over his shoulder, smiling. “Well, I’m pretty sure I can forgive you.”
“Really?”
“Maybe.” Blaine pushes open the door to his room and leads Kurt inside. “Or maybe you need to be punished.”
They both laugh as Blaine tackles Kurt onto the bed and pins him there, grinning down at him. “Blaine!” Kurt pretends to struggle to get away, squirming and bucking under him. When their bodies press together they both gasp softly, but Kurt doesn’t stop his movements. The warmth and weight of Blaine on top of him is delightful, and he remembers in a rush why he had been so impatient for this day to come.
Kurt tenses his neck and raises his head up to kiss Blaine as they continue to move together. He’s still buzzing with emotion from hearing his song, with words and music all for him. He brings his hands up to stroke Blaine’s body, feeling the muscles flexing, as he bucks up against him eagerly.
Blaine turns the long, slow kiss into a series of little pecks, and says “We’re supposed to be getting your CD...”
Kurt grips Blaine’s shirt to hold him close. “No, don’t stop.”
Blaine grins and reaches down with his hand to stroke Kurt’s erection through his pants. Kurt tilts his head back and arches up into Blaine’s touch. He can’t believe he’s gone without this for five days.
Kurt feels Blaine unzip his pants and pull them down to mid-thigh, along with his underwear. Kurt moans at his touch, skin on skin. He’s so hard, and Blaine’s grip is so smooth and firm. He thrusts up, pushing his cock through the circle of Blaine’s fist.
Blaine crawls down Kurt’s body, kissing his torso through his clothes. Chest, stomach, hipbones. Still gripping the base of Kurt’s cock, he licks the head of it, and kisses it.
“Wait,” Kurt says. He raises his head to look into Blaine’s eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Blaine closes his mouth around Kurt’s cock and moans around it. “Mmmm...”
Kurt feels Blaine’s lips sliding up and down his hyper-sensitive shaft, and his tongue licking all along the underside. Kurt struggles to keep his hips still, and grips his own hair in tight fists. “Oh, Blaine. It feels so good...”
Blaine’s moaning has turned into this high-pitched gasping sound, like he’s so turned on he can’t stand it. He takes Kurt’s cock as deep as he can on every thrust, so it presses against his throat. It’s so tight, wet, hot, there’s such unbelievable pressure, and Kurt says “God, your mouth,” on a shaky breath.
Blaine shifts so he’s straddling one of Kurt’s shins, and Kurt can feel him grinding down against it. It feels so incredible to be so intensely wanted by Blaine, and Kurt is overwhelmed by the sensations of Blaine’s hand, and lips, and the vibrations through his throat. “I’m almost there. I’m so close -”
An inane thought flashes through Kurt’s mind comparing the desperate sounds Blaine is making with the singing he did earlier. Lines from the song go through his mind as pleasure floods his body. Suddenly I wanted more. Now I know you deeper. I only need you.
All at once, Kurt gasps and orgasms as all his muscles tense and jerk. His heart pounds as he shoots come in hot spurts into Blaine’s mouth. He lays back, panting, as Blaine swallows around him and frantically thrusts against his leg. When Blaine chokes out a breathless cry and arches against Kurt’s lower body, Kurt is practically glowing.
Blaine sags, looking completely spent, and inhales deeply, then crawls up the bed to kiss Kurt’s lips. Kurt smiles and says “I really love that song.”
Blaine laughs. “Is that what you were thinking about?”
“Well what were you thinking about?”
“I was thinking about how much I love your cock.”
Kurt shoves him gently. “Blaine!”
Blaine flops down onto his side next to Kurt. “It’s true. It’s pretty much the best cock in the world.”
“And how would you know that?” Kurt laughs.
“I don’t know. It’s the only one I’ve ever had in my mouth. I just have this intuition, you know?”
“Mm hm?”
“Yep. Something tells me. It has to be the best one.”
“You’re making that up.”
“Hey, would I lie to you?”
Kurt looks at Blaine and shrugs. “No, I guess you wouldn’t.”
Blaine snuggles up as close to Kurt as he can get, wrapping one arm and one leg around him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you more,” Kurt says.
Blaine kisses Kurt’s neck. “It’s ok. This relationship thing is still new, to both of us. We’ll get used to it.”
“You think I’ll get better with more experience?”
“Well you can’t just trust automatically. You have to have reasons to think I’m worthy of trust. Right? Those will come with time. I’m not worried.”
Kurt smiles and sighs happily. “This has been a perfect Christmas.”
“Oh, hey. Your CD is in the bedside table. I almost forgot.”
Kurt reaches over to open the drawer, trying to shift Blaine as little as possible, and finds the CD case by feel. He brings it close to his face and traces the big red heart with his finger. “Thank you so much Blaine.” He feels like his own heart is about to burst out if his chest, he’s full of so much love.
“What do you want to do now?” Blaine kisses his neck again.
“Can we spend the rest of the day in bed?”
Blaine laughs. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
“And then you can sing me my song again later.”
“Of course.”
“Merry Christmas Blaine.”
“Merry Christmas.”
---
Please consider spreading holiday cheer by commenting on and/or reblogging this fanfic! If you rec this fic, please be sure to attribute it to anonymous until the author/artist is revealed on January 3rd, 2011. Don’t forget to check out all of the other amazing works that will be posted throughout December!
Recipient: Skia9
Author/Artist: to be revealed January 3rd, 2012
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Explicit sex, language, jealousy, angst, subtle homophobia
Word Count: 7048
Summary: Blaine has written a love song as a Christmas gift, and Kurt is SO EXCITED. But is the song really for Kurt, or is it for someone else?
Notes: Thank you so much to reremouse for beta reading for me! I really appreciate it! :D
The Thursday before Christmas, Kurt is still blissfully content in his relationship, and it hasn't occurred to him yet to worry whether Blaine might love someone else. Kurt wakes up slowly in the morning, on his back, drifting into awareness as the sunlight starts to fill his room. His blanket covers him only up to his chest, and it feels soft and warm around him. He yawns and stretches, feeling relaxed and happy. No school and no alarm clocks for two weeks. It will be his first Christmas with a boyfriend. Nothing can ruin his good mood.
He takes his time showering, dressing, and eating breakfast before heading over to Blaine’s. He parks in front of the house a little before one o’clock, and as he’s heading up the walk, he sees Blaine’s father opening the front door.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Anderson,” Kurt greets him.
“Afternoon.” He’s still tying his scarf around his neck, using his foot to hold the door for Kurt.
“Do you have the day off work today?”
“I just came home for lunch.”
“That sounds lovely,” Kurt smiles. He kicks the snow off his boots before stepping inside the house.
“What would be ‘lovely’ would be two weeks of vacation, like you boys get,” Mr. Anderson grumbles, gathering his keys and briefcase.
“It must be a very busy time of year for you.”
“No rest for the wicked. Blaine’s in his room.” Mr. Anderson starts down the path to his own car.
“Thank you. Bye!”
Kurt shuts the door after him, takes off his boots, and hangs up his coat. He heads up the stairs, and hears music coming from Blaine’s room. A piano and Blaine’s voice. It sounds tinny, like it’s coming from small speakers. The song is something slow and sentimental, but Kurt’s not familiar with it.
A smile pulls at Kurt’s lips as he peeks into the bedroom. Blaine is sitting cross-legged on his bed with his back to the door, with his laptop open in front of him. His hair is messy, his feet are bare, and his t-shirt has rucked up to reveal a sliver of skin at his waist. There are waveforms on the screen, showing the music that’s playing, and Blaine uses the cursor to adjust what looks like a mixer with sliders.
Blaine’s recorded voice sings: “And you just had no fear. Had I really seen you before? I always want you near, but suddenly I wanted more.”
A love song? Kurt takes a deep breath and knocks cheerily. “Hi Blaine!”
Blaine’s voice through the laptop speakers keeps going. “If my love was true, then this I knew -” Blaine slams the lid closed, stopping the music abruptly, and turns around, wide-eyed and blushing. “Kurt! Hi! You didn’t hear that did you?”
Kurt just smiles. “Hear what?” He struggles to keep his excitement from bursting out. Blaine is recording a love song!
“Nothing!” Blaine says. “How are you?” He scoots off the bed and comes over to wrap Kurt in a warm embrace.
Kurt breathes against Blaine’s neck. “Good. Really good.” He sounds breathy, he knows, and his heart is racing. He manages to contain himself. “Are you having a good day?”
Blaine releases him from the hug and strokes his hands up and down Kurt’s upper arms. “Yep! Just, you know, wasting time until I could see your face again.”
“Such a romantic.” Kurt grins a goofy, wide grin.
"So, do I get you for the rest of the day?"
"Of course. I have absolutely nowhere to be." Kurt's eyes dart to Blaine's lips. "Tomorrow too. If you'll have me."
"Ah, well... I kind of made plans to hang out here with Jeff tomorrow. So, you know. It won't be very sexy."
Kurt laughs.
"But you should definitely still come over. We can all hang out together."
"So, I think this is our last chance to be alone for a while," Kurt frowns. "Saturday I'm getting groceries and helping Finn wrap presents. Sunday is Christmas, obviously. And I am having a proper Christmas, with my amazingly average nuclear family, without interruption from the outside world all day long, so help me god -”
Blaine ducks his head, grinning and chuckling.
"But maybe the day after?"
Blaine's smile falters. "My parents are having a big party that day."
"Oh, like a private, family thing?"
"No, no, you're invited. I want you to come. I mean a bunch of relatives are coming, and some of my parents’ colleagues, but there’ll be good food and music and stuff. It could be fun.”
"Ok." Kurt smiles. "I'd love to."
"You're right though. This is our last chance for a while." Blaine presses his mouth to Kurt's. "And I think we'd better take full advantage of this rare opportunity."
"Oh really." Kurt smiles against Blaine's lips.
"Really." Blaine kisses him tenderly, then sucks Kurt’s bottom lip, nibbles it teasingly. He wraps his arms around Kurt’s body, glides one hand down to press against his lower back and pull him closer.
Kurt feels warm, and slightly short of breath. He inhales sharply through his nose as he deepens the kiss, feeling the press of Blaine’s tongue and the roughness of his stubble. His knees feel weak. He’s so overwhelmed by the kiss and the achingly beautiful gesture of maybe possibly probably having a love song recorded for him, so he rests forward against Blaine’s chest and holds on to the back of Blaine’s shirt, gripping with his fists.
Kurt’s head is swimming and his blood is rushing, and he feels it hot and tingly all the way down to his cock. He presses slowly, subtly, against the curve of Blaine’s hip, through their clothes, and gasps when Blaine responds by thrusting back, hard. Kurt turns his head aside and breathes deeply, smiling, biting his lip.
“Kurt.” Blaine lowers his head and his lips tickle against Kurt’s neck. “Would you... I know you just got here, and we should be spending time together, talking, but...”
“I’m ok with not talking.” Kurt’s voice is breathy and low.
Blaine raises his head and looks into Kurt’s eyes. “Would you... Please. I want you.”
“Would I what?” Kurt’s lips curve in a small smile. “Tell me.”
Blaine’s eyes flutter closed and his hips buck forward again. “Fuck me. Kurt, please fuck me.”
Kurt blushes, more with lust than anything else. He kisses Blaine again, hard and fast, then moves his hands to Blaine’s hips and pushes him roughly, walking him backward until Blaine’s back hits the wall. He presses his lips against Blaine’s, and keeps kissing him messily even as he reaches down to undo Blaine’s pants. He pops the button, slides the zipper down, feels Blaine squirming and gasping as he pushes his pants to fall to the floor.
Kurt grins when Blaine’s cock springs free. No underwear. Kurt takes it in his hand and strokes it, squeezes it in his fingers, feels it pulse. He feels his own cock twitch in response, and pulls Blaine’s hips away from the wall so he can reach behind him and touch his hole. He hears Blaine grunt and feels him push backward against his finger. He circles Blaine’s entrance, presses, and it’s already slick. His finger slides in easily.
Kurt tilts his head, confused. “Did you...?”
“Yeah,” Blaine breathes, panting. “This morning. I already...”
Kurt’s face burns in a rush of heat. “Fingered yourself?” The thought makes his skin tingle all over. He adds a second finger, and kneels down to get a better angle, to push in deeper. He holds still while Blaine kicks his pants off and spreads his legs. Then Kurt thrusts in and out, pressing forward, making Blaine jerk and gasp.
“Kurt, please.”
Kurt slides his fingers out and hurriedly, clumsily, undoes his own pants. He pulls his cock through the slit in his underwear, and it’s so hard, so sensitive. He reaches over to grope around inside the drawer of the bedside table and retrieves a bottle of lube and a condom, and hands them to Blaine.
He stands and kisses Blaine’s neck, licks up to his ear, making him moan. He feels Blaine’s hands on him, holding his cock, rolling the condom on, stroking it, making it slippery with lube. His grip is just this side of too gentle, teasing. It’s making him crazy.
Kurt positions himself between Blaine’s legs, his hands on Blaine’s waist, and bends his knees a bit to slide his cock under Blaine’s body, to line up against him. Blaine throws his hands around Kurt's neck and spreads his legs further, angling his hips, trying to feel Kurt where he wants him. He groans in frustration.
Suddenly Kurt gets a hand under Blaine’s leg and pulls it up around his waist, lifting Blaine and slamming him back against the wall, pushing in. It's tight, and Blaine cries out, "Fuck," squirming and panting, but rocks against Kurt to get more, to get deeper. He tenses his arms around Kurt's neck, raises his other leg up and wraps them both around Kurt's waist, squeezing tight, biting his lip and grunting. "Please, please, Kurt -"
Kurt grips both Blaine's thighs with his hands to hold him up and bucks up into him with short, jerky thrusts. Every movement slides Blaine's back against the wall, and Kurt's thighs ache with the effort of holding him up, but it feels too good to stop. Blaine is so tight around him and moaning so shamelessly.
"Oh god Kurt, so good -"
Kurt kisses Blaine's lips, his jaw, his chin, and fucks him urgently and gracelessly. He feels Blaine's cock pressed between them, pulsing and leaking. He feels Blaine rock his hips back and jerk at a sudden change in angle.
"There, yes, there -"
Kurt feels the slick slide around his cock, the squeezing pressure, and gasps, gripping tighter, almost slipping as he fucks Blaine harder. The muscles in Kurt's thighs tremble and his movements stutter.
"Oh fuck, I'm so close. Don't stop, don't stop -"
So he keeps going, gritting his teeth, panting against Blaine's lips, thrusting up hard, once, twice, and then Blaine throws his head back and arches, gasping "Fuck!" His cock pulses and he comes, hot spurts of it shooting between them, and that's what does it for Kurt. He pounds into Blaine, slamming him back into the wall as his orgasm overtakes him and he cries out, exhausted.
His grip does slip then, just a little, and Blaine carefully lowers his feet to the floor. They stand there, leaning against each other, panting, and Blaine laughs, a ridiculous grin on his face. "That was... amazing."
Kurt can't help but smile back at him. "You think we can get my clothes clean and dry before I have to leave?"
Blaine kisses Kurt's neck. "We have all afternoon. Plenty of time." He keeps pecking more tiny kisses all over Kurt's face. "You'll just have to be naked in the meantime, I'm afraid."
Kurt laughs. "Don't worry. I'm up for the challenge."
--
The next day, Jeff is already there when Kurt arrives at Blaine’s house. Kurt settles himself on the bed and says "So what were you two talking about before I got here?"
Jeff rolls his eyes. "My sad, pathetic love life. And Wes's sad, pathetic love life." He grins, and Blaine laughs out loud.
"Am I missing something? Doesn't he have a girlfriend?"
Blaine says, "Yeah, no, she's great and everything. She's nice. Friendly."
"Really friendly." Jeff waggles his eyebrows.
Blaine grins and kneels on the bed, leaning forward into Jeff's space. He bats his eyelashes and speaks in a fake, high voice. "Jeff, would you be a sweetheart and escort me to my car? You don't mind if we link arms do you? To keep the bad guys away?"
Jeff adopts a similar girlish tone and strokes Blaine's upper arms. "Have you been working out? Wow, what a physique. I could just eat you up!"
The two dissolve in giggles, and Kurt can't help laughing along with them. "Is she really like that?"
Jeff says "She has needed help zipping up her dress more times than anyone I've ever met."
Blaine chuckles. "And she does European kisses too." He demonstrates by kissing one of Jeff's cheeks and then the other.
Kurt laughs again, just as an alarm goes off on Blaine's phone.
“We put a pizza in before you got here,” Blaine explains.
Jeff shouts "Oven pizza!" then bounds off the bed and heads downstairs.
"Wanna come?" Blaine asks, grinning.
Kurt smiles. "I'll just wait for you here."
Once they're gone, Kurt touches his hair and tries to fix it by hand, in case it had been ruined by the wind on the way over. He frowns and leans over to open the drawer of Blaine's bedside table to find the pocket mirror he keeps there. He finds the mirror, but he also notices something new, behind Blaine's sleep mask and the condoms and lube.
It's a shiny CD-R in a clear case with no cover. The CD has a big heart drawn on it in red Sharpie. Kurt can't help grinning a huge, lovestruck grin. This must be the love song Blaine has been working on. Now it's certain: the song is a present! For Christmas! Kurt bounces a little on the bed and squeaks like a twelve-year-old.
He hears their voices nearing the bottom of the stairs, so he puts the CD back and quickly checks himself in the mirror. He shuts the drawer and gets into a casual pose just in time.
"Dinner is served!" Jeff announces as he enters the room, carrying two plates. He hands one to Kurt.
"I put all the red pepper from mine onto yours," Blaine says, and leans in for a quick kiss.
"Mm, thank you." Kurt smiles. "You're always doing nice things for me."
"Actually that was a selfish thing for me," Blaine says, sitting on the edge of the bed and nibbling a slice of his own pizza. "Red pepper is disgusting."
"All the same." Kurt nudges him with his foot. “I suddenly desperately need to know what heartfelt token of your love you’re getting me for Christmas. When can we exchange gifts?”
Blaine laughs. “Well, not Christmas Day -"
"Because of my plans."
"But we could do the day after?”
Kurt tilts his head. “You want to give me my present at your parents’ big Christmas thing?”
“Of course! It’s a party; that’s where presents happen.”
Wow. This sounds like a big deal. Such a romantic gesture in front of his whole family. A love song. Kurt bites his lip and nods. “Ok.” He reaches over to touch the back of Blaine's hand and says: “It’s a date.”
Kurt watches the other boys eat for a minute, trying to will away his blush and his inappropriate hard-on. Then he gives up, puts his plate down, and says "Blaine, could you help me with something for a minute? Out in the hallway?" Jeff snickers, but Kurt ignores him and leaves the room.
When Blaine joins him, Kurt reaches around him to close the door, then presses himself against Blaine to kiss him eagerly and deeply. Blaine is surprised, and gasps against Kurt's lips, but kisses back without hesitation.
Blaine pulls back just enough to speak between kisses. "What's this all about?"
Kurt reaches down to stroke Blaine's ass through his pants. "Tell me how soon we can be alone together."
"Mmm..." Blaine sighs contentedly. "Tuesday. Everyone goes back to work Tuesday."
"Not soon enough." Kurt is practically buzzing with excitement. He has the most romantic boyfriend in the world. He grinds their hips together and nibbles Blaine's lower lip to make him moan.
"Kurt," Blaine laughs, but doesn't pull away. "Jeff is waiting..."
"Screw Jeff." Kurt ducks his head to lick and kiss Blaine's neck, then pauses. "Don't screw Jeff. You know what I mean."
Blaine laughs again. "We should get back in there."
Kurt bucks his hips forward one more time, then sighs and steps back, putting space between them. "Ok. I'm ok."
"Don't worry. Tuesday will come soon enough."
Kurt bites his lip and smiles. "I can't wait."
--
To Blaine: WTF. Finn hasn’t finished his shopping. It’s Christmas Eve and we’re going out to buy presents. There is some intense eyerolling happening over here.
To Kurt: Relatives are arriving and staying overnight. My aunt Mary literally said “My, look how you’ve grown.” No lie. Whyyyyyy?
To Blaine: No, Finn, you are not being subtle when you ask my opinion on a jacket and then ask me to go and buy you a Coke.
To Kurt: OMG My uncle Joe is making awkward conversation about sports teams and why I don’t have a girlfriend yet. Make it stop. Please make it stop.
To Blaine: We’ve been at the mall for four hours and we’re not done and Finn can’t make decisions and there are a million people here and I still have to get groceries. IT SHOULDN’T BE THIS HARD.
To Kurt: Sure, maybe I just haven’t met the right girl yet. That must be it.
To Blaine: Home at last. Making Finn wrap presents by himself as punishment. Looking up recipes and doing nothing else constructive for the rest of the evening.
To Kurt: My cousin is in my room looking around at my stuff. I can feel him judging me. Get your hands off my polo trophies!
To Blaine: Courage. Try to have a good sleep.
To Kurt: CHRISTMAS MORNING CHRISTMAS MORNING CHRISTMAS MORNING
To Blaine: Merry Christmas! I have mincemeat pie!
To Kurt: LOL OMG Horse-opoly! I didn’t even know this existed!
To Blaine: You should see this hat! My dad always comes through with the most stylish accessories when I tell him exactly what I want and where to get it.
To Kurt: LOL The Clydesdale and Percheron are Park Place and Boardwalk. Hahahaha we have to play this some time!
To Blaine: Deathly Hallows 2 special edition gift pack Bluray with photo album I am the happiest boy!
To Kurt: iPhone 4S with Siri! This is so awesome!
To Blaine: There is wrapping paper everywhere. This place looks like a bomb hit it.
To Kurt: This is a test.
To Blaine: Test successful?
To Kurt: I just texted you with Siri!
To Blaine: I have no idea how we’re going to coordinate everything being done at the same time, but I’m so excited for making this whole big dinner with Carole.
To Kurt: Haha the meaning of life is chocolate. Ok I am spending the entire day asking Siri random things just to see what it says.
To Blaine: I can’t wait to give you your present tomorrow. And to get mine.
To Kurt: I can’t wait either. I love you. <3
--
The day after Christmas, Kurt arrives at the party in the early afternoon, when it’s just getting started. There is an overwhelmingly large number of people he’s never met before, and some of them are noisy children. He sticks close by Blaine as he wanders around nibbling truffles and shortbread, politely chatting with everyone. There’s an ongoing soundtrack of Christmas music, some of it terrible (Why did you do this to yourself, Christina Aguilera? An entire album? Really?) and some of it really pretty good. (Kurt will never admit how much he likes Michael Buble.)
An older lady in a disaster of a pantsuit comes over at one point to greet them. “Hello, dear! You must be Blaine’s friend. Kurt, was it?”
Kurt looks at Blaine, then back to her, wondering if he should correct her. Technically they are friends, as well as boyfriends, so she’s not wrong... “Yes, Kurt. Hi. And you are?”
Blaine doesn’t correct her either. She introduces herself as Blaine’s “favorite auntie Christy” and laughingly tells them not to spoil their supper before excusing herself to mingle with the rest of the guests.
The next few hours or so are similarly awkward. Blaine isn’t close to his extended family or even remotely familiar with his parents’ colleagues, and Kurt knows all of three people there by name, so they whisper criticisms to each other of people’s outfits and behaviors while being unerringly polite to their faces. Kurt’s description of one woman’s dress (“an orange leopard nightmare that somehow devoured her body while leaving her disproportionate chest intact to bounce around in the open and frighten the children”) has Blaine laughing so hard he almost spits shortbread all over the carpet.
Blaine coughs and sputters himself back to a state of composure and wipes his eyes just in time to greet his grandfather, who has had a few glasses of wine and whose accent is even thicker and more incomprehensible to Kurt than it had been earlier. Blaine doesn’t seem to have any trouble though. As rude as it is, Kurt is relieved that the old man doesn’t address him at all, so he doesn’t have to decipher his words or look to Blaine for interpretation. That would have been embarrassing.
After dinner, (which is delicious and beautiful, straight out of a Martha Stewart Living photo spread) Blaine’s mother declares that it’s time to exchange presents. The office people go first, which is mostly tedious for Kurt. Then Blaine receives an heirloom set of cufflinks and a tie clip from his grandfather, along with a new journal and fancy pen. Blaine looks genuinely touched, and gives his grandfather a pair of leather gloves Kurt had helped him pick out.
When it’s Kurt’s turn, he gives Blaine’s parents their gift from him: a vanilla and sandalwood body wash and lotion set. They thank him politely and give him a box of chocolates and a gift card to the movie theatre. Then Kurt is suddenly nervous about his gift to Blaine. He clutches it in his fingers and looks around at all the strangers in the room: Blaine’s relatives, and Blaine’s parents’ business associates, all silently judging him and most of them presumably unaware of the nature of Kurt’s relationship with Blaine. He swallows, closes his eyes for just a second, bolsters his courage, and hands Blaine his gift.
It’s a small scrapbook that Kurt has been working on for months, adding items to it whenever he thinks to. There are photos of the two of them (alone, with the Warblers, with the New Directions...) along with notes, journal entries, ticket stubs from plays and movies, a pressed flower, a flattened coffee cup sleeve from the Lima Bean... Kurt watches Blaine’s face as he looks through it. Blaine is unable to suppress a delighted smile, and is blushing slightly.
Everyone is watching, and Mrs. Anderson says “What is it?”
Blaine’s face falls. He awkwardly closes the book and holds it in his lap. He says “It’s a scrapbook of, um, the Warblers.” He turns to Kurt, grinning again. “It’s really amazing. Thank you so much, Kurt.”
“You’re welcome.” Kurt offers a small, shy smile.
Then Blaine hands a gift to Kurt, and Kurt’s heart races in anticipation. It’s shaped very much like two CD cases stacked together. This is it, the moment he’s been waiting for. He unwraps it carefully as butterflies do somersaults in his stomach. When the paper is off, it turns out not to be two CD cases at all. It’s a small, flat, white box. Kurt swallows and knits his eyebrows in confusion. He takes the lid off.
Inside is a brooch. It looks like a smooth silver starfish. It’s gorgeous. Elegant. It would go with just about anything. It’s large enough to draw the eye without being comical. It’s unique yet not overstated. It’s exactly the kind of thing Kurt would have chosen for himself. It would be the perfect gift, if Kurt hadn’t been expecting a love song. His chest burns with disappointment. He sits, with his head bowed, staring down at it for a long moment. He blinks quickly and flares his nostrils, willing himself not to sniff. Then he looks up at Blaine, smiles a tight, forced smile, and says “Thank you.”
Blaine frowns and looks at the floor. He mumbles “There’s a gift receipt if - I just thought it suited you. If you hate it then -”
“No!” Kurt shakes his head. “No, it’s great, I love it. Don’t worry.”
“Are you sure?”
“Really. It’s really great. Thank you.”
Blaine nods a quick, terse nod, still frowning.
Mrs. Anderson says “Lovely. Who do we have next? Judy? There’s something for you under the tree...”
As soon as the room’s attention is refocused elsewhere, Kurt whispers to Blaine “I’m just going to - bathroom -” and darts up out of his chair and down the hall without waiting for a response. He locks himself in the bathroom and cries a little, as quietly as he can, finally letting the tears fall freely. He hugs himself as his shoulders shake, because if the song wasn’t for him, who was it for? He tries to recall the words. Suddenly I wanted more. It sounds like a friendship that has recently developed into love.
He thinks of the way Blaine and Jeff act around each other, playfully kissing and flirting, so casually, like it’s not a big deal. Like they’re just that comfortable with each other. Right in front of him, god. How could he be so stupid? No wonder Blaine was so awkward when he thought Kurt had heard the song. It’s not even for him.
He takes deep breaths and stops his silent sobbing. He sniffles, blows his nose, and washes his face. He leaves the bathroom and is startled to find Blaine standing in the hall waiting for him. He wonders if his sniffling had been audible through the door.
“Are you ok?” Blaine asks.
“Fine.”
Blaine eyes him warily but accepts his answer. They head back to the living room to watch the rest of the gifts getting opened. They don’t mention it again, and things feel tense between them for the rest of the evening.
When it’s time to leave, Blaine walks Kurt to the door, watches him get dressed in his coat and scarf, and they both step outside.
“Thank you for coming,” Blaine says. “It would have been so dull without you.”
Kurt twists from side to side and says “Thank you for my starfish,” gesturing to the box he’s clutching tight in his hands.
Blaine bites his lip, then leans in, with his hands on Kurt’s chest, and kisses him. Kurt lets Blaine come to him and doesn’t meet him halfway. He doesn’t put his arms around Blaine either, but he does kiss back. It feels forced and strange.
Their lips are still together when they hear the door handle turn. They jump apart, as if they’ve been burned, and look around nervously as Blaine’s auntie Christy comes out. “Good evening, boys!” she says. “Merry Christmas!”
She seems to be taking her time getting down the walk to her car, and there’s no way to casually stand around waiting for her to be gone. Blaine smiles and pats Kurt’s shoulder. “Goodnight, Kurt.”
Kurt scuffs his shoes on the doorstep, waves slightly, and turns to go. “Night.”
--
Tuesday. The day they had planned to be together all day, alone. The day Kurt has been waiting for, longing for the comfort of just being himself around Blaine, for that intimacy, without judgement from the outside world. It’s finally here, and it isn’t right.
Kurt wakes up uncomfortable and cold. He had lain down in bed crying, and fallen asleep in his clothes. They’re wrinkled and bunched under him, and he had kicked the blanket off in the night. All the layers had felt like too much, but now he’s shivering. His nose is stuffy.
He gets up, undresses, and showers, feeling groggy, making the water as hot as he can stand. Afterward he doesn’t feel like cooking, so he has a Mandarin orange and some gingerbread for breakfast, then dresses in something comfortable and warm, and not quite as fabulous as usual. Then he drives to Blaine’s house.
When Blaine answers the door, he smiles widely, says “Morning, Kurt,” and leans in for a kiss. Kurt ducks his head right before their lips connect, causing Blaine to hesitate, but then he looks up, their eyes meet, and Blaine closes the distance between them. The kiss is short and one-sided, but Blaine looks charmingly pleased as he backs up to give Kurt room to enter the house.
Kurt sighs softly as he takes off his boots and coat. Blaine says “Is something wrong?”
Kurt shakes his head. “Just tired, from socializing. And all that Christmas planning wore me out. I’m still recharging.”
Blaine nods and rubs Kurt’s back. “Well, you don’t have to do anything but relax today. You’ll feel better soon.”
Blaine leads the way to the living room, and they sit on the couch, Blaine cross-legged and lazy, and Kurt straight-backed and formal. Blaine says “So... what’s been your favorite part of Christmas this year?”
Kurt shrugs. “I don’t know. Time off from school. Maybe the food.”
Blaine nods. “Food is good. I got some pretty great presents too.”
Kurt says “And spending time with my family, actually acting like a family, has been... I don’t know. Nostalgic. That’s the wrong word. Finn is a good brother, all things considered.”
Blaine grins. “It’s so good to hang out with people that way. It’s been really nice seeing my friends lately. The Warblers, Jeff...”
Before he knows what’s happening, Kurt has burst into tears. Just seeing Blaine talking so happily about Jeff has his chin quivering and his eyes tearing up. He puts his hands in front of his mouth in an ineffectual attempt at hiding it.
Blaine strokes Kurt’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s ok.” He looks so concerned, frowning and watching Kurt’s face. “You know, you can make plans with them too... You should. I know they’d love to see you...”
Kurt almost wants to laugh. It would be sweet, the way Blaine misunderstands, if he wasn’t to blame for Kurt’s distress. If he wasn’t secretly in love with another guy. Kurt whispers “Are you more excited about seeing any of them than seeing me?”
“No!” Blaine shakes his head and squeezes Kurt’s arm. “No, of course not. I love you. There’s no one I’d rather spend my time with.”
Kurt wraps his arms around himself and scrunches his eyes shut.
Blaine leans toward him and bumps his forehead against Kurt’s shoulder playfully. “Hey.” He sits up and looks at Kurt. “What’s this about?”
Kurt just shrugs and shakes his head. He’s not sobbing or shaking. It’s a quiet sort of cry today. He wipes his eyes with his sleeve.
Blaine says “I have something I want to show you. If that’s ok.”
Kurt looks up and meets his eyes.
“I’m not sure if it’s the right moment - I mean I wanted to show you today, but I thought you’d be... happier? But maybe it’ll cheer you up. At least, I hope it will.”
Kurt sniffs, and closes his eyes against Blaine’s hopeful, concerned face. Then he nods. “Ok.”
Blaine gets up off the couch and crosses the room to the piano. He sits on the bench and scoots it forward a bit, takes a breath, and starts to play.
It’s slow and sentimental, just like the love song Kurt had heard. The one he had been expecting as a gift. Blaine sings “When we first met, you were strong but afraid. And all I desired was to come to your aid.”
Kurt recognizes the tune. It is that song.
“Much more than love, you needed a friend. I offered you courage and gave you my hand.”
Courage. Kurt thinks of the texts Blaine sent him, that first week they met.
“There wasn't much that I could do, but courage was something I could give to you.”
Kurt laughs softly through his tears. This can’t be about anyone but him. He can’t believe now that he had ever doubted Blaine.
“When I saw your heart I had to see it through. I wanted everyone to see my love for you. And you just had no fear. Had I really seen you before? I always want you near, but suddenly I wanted more. If my love was true, then this I knew: I could be brave if I had you.”
And now it’s obvious. Of course Blaine couldn’t have presented this song to him in front of his family. He couldn’t even kiss him in front of his aunt. He couldn’t even show off the scrapbook of the two of them. Kurt feels so, so guilty.
“Now I know you deeper and I see the path we've laid. Somehow it won't occur to me to even be afraid.”
And now he’s crying with joy. His tears fall freely even as he grins. This beautiful song was written for him.
“So with every joy you give me and all we've yet to do, I won't need any courage. I only need you.” Blaine’s voice rises with emotion. “And all I want to do is spend every minute of every day...” The notes on the piano resolve to a major chord. “With you.”
Blaine holds the last note and lets the chord ring out, then finishes, ducking his head, taking a deep breath, lowering his hands to his knees. He turns on the bench to look at Kurt. “So. That was it. What do you think?”
Kurt laughs and sobs. “Blaine...”
“Oh, hey...” Blaine comes over to sit by Kurt and wrap him up in his arms. “Is this a good cry? Are you ok?”
“I’m so sorry Blaine, I thought -” Kurt hiccups and wipes his face. “I mean. Thank you. That was just... Gorgeous. I didn’t even know you wrote music. I love it.”
“Oh good.” Blaine breathes a sigh of relief and strokes Kurt’s back.
“I’m sorry I’m such a spaz.”
“It’s ok. I’m just glad you like it.”
“No, I mean... I thought maybe - Oh god, you’re going to hate me.”
“What? Why?”
“I heard the song before, in your room. Just a little bit of it. I thought maybe it wasn’t for me, because you didn’t give it to me at the party.”
“Oh, god, I couldn’t give it to you there...”
“I know!” Kurt wails, and Blaine chuckles at him. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve been such a jealous asshole...”
Blaine just laughs. “Are you ok?”
Kurt wipes his eyes again. “Yeah. Sorry. That was amazing. And the starfish was amazing too. It just, you know, wasn’t a song...”
“Oh...” Blaine raises his eyebrows as realization dawns on him. “That explains so much...”
Kurt sputters with laughter.
“Come on.” Blaine pats Kurt’s back decisively and stands up. “Let’s get the CD so you can take it home with you.”
“Thank you Blaine.” Kurt gets up to follow him up the stairs. “I’m really sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Yes I do.”
Blaine looks back at him over his shoulder, smiling. “Well, I’m pretty sure I can forgive you.”
“Really?”
“Maybe.” Blaine pushes open the door to his room and leads Kurt inside. “Or maybe you need to be punished.”
They both laugh as Blaine tackles Kurt onto the bed and pins him there, grinning down at him. “Blaine!” Kurt pretends to struggle to get away, squirming and bucking under him. When their bodies press together they both gasp softly, but Kurt doesn’t stop his movements. The warmth and weight of Blaine on top of him is delightful, and he remembers in a rush why he had been so impatient for this day to come.
Kurt tenses his neck and raises his head up to kiss Blaine as they continue to move together. He’s still buzzing with emotion from hearing his song, with words and music all for him. He brings his hands up to stroke Blaine’s body, feeling the muscles flexing, as he bucks up against him eagerly.
Blaine turns the long, slow kiss into a series of little pecks, and says “We’re supposed to be getting your CD...”
Kurt grips Blaine’s shirt to hold him close. “No, don’t stop.”
Blaine grins and reaches down with his hand to stroke Kurt’s erection through his pants. Kurt tilts his head back and arches up into Blaine’s touch. He can’t believe he’s gone without this for five days.
Kurt feels Blaine unzip his pants and pull them down to mid-thigh, along with his underwear. Kurt moans at his touch, skin on skin. He’s so hard, and Blaine’s grip is so smooth and firm. He thrusts up, pushing his cock through the circle of Blaine’s fist.
Blaine crawls down Kurt’s body, kissing his torso through his clothes. Chest, stomach, hipbones. Still gripping the base of Kurt’s cock, he licks the head of it, and kisses it.
“Wait,” Kurt says. He raises his head to look into Blaine’s eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Blaine closes his mouth around Kurt’s cock and moans around it. “Mmmm...”
Kurt feels Blaine’s lips sliding up and down his hyper-sensitive shaft, and his tongue licking all along the underside. Kurt struggles to keep his hips still, and grips his own hair in tight fists. “Oh, Blaine. It feels so good...”
Blaine’s moaning has turned into this high-pitched gasping sound, like he’s so turned on he can’t stand it. He takes Kurt’s cock as deep as he can on every thrust, so it presses against his throat. It’s so tight, wet, hot, there’s such unbelievable pressure, and Kurt says “God, your mouth,” on a shaky breath.
Blaine shifts so he’s straddling one of Kurt’s shins, and Kurt can feel him grinding down against it. It feels so incredible to be so intensely wanted by Blaine, and Kurt is overwhelmed by the sensations of Blaine’s hand, and lips, and the vibrations through his throat. “I’m almost there. I’m so close -”
An inane thought flashes through Kurt’s mind comparing the desperate sounds Blaine is making with the singing he did earlier. Lines from the song go through his mind as pleasure floods his body. Suddenly I wanted more. Now I know you deeper. I only need you.
All at once, Kurt gasps and orgasms as all his muscles tense and jerk. His heart pounds as he shoots come in hot spurts into Blaine’s mouth. He lays back, panting, as Blaine swallows around him and frantically thrusts against his leg. When Blaine chokes out a breathless cry and arches against Kurt’s lower body, Kurt is practically glowing.
Blaine sags, looking completely spent, and inhales deeply, then crawls up the bed to kiss Kurt’s lips. Kurt smiles and says “I really love that song.”
Blaine laughs. “Is that what you were thinking about?”
“Well what were you thinking about?”
“I was thinking about how much I love your cock.”
Kurt shoves him gently. “Blaine!”
Blaine flops down onto his side next to Kurt. “It’s true. It’s pretty much the best cock in the world.”
“And how would you know that?” Kurt laughs.
“I don’t know. It’s the only one I’ve ever had in my mouth. I just have this intuition, you know?”
“Mm hm?”
“Yep. Something tells me. It has to be the best one.”
“You’re making that up.”
“Hey, would I lie to you?”
Kurt looks at Blaine and shrugs. “No, I guess you wouldn’t.”
Blaine snuggles up as close to Kurt as he can get, wrapping one arm and one leg around him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you more,” Kurt says.
Blaine kisses Kurt’s neck. “It’s ok. This relationship thing is still new, to both of us. We’ll get used to it.”
“You think I’ll get better with more experience?”
“Well you can’t just trust automatically. You have to have reasons to think I’m worthy of trust. Right? Those will come with time. I’m not worried.”
Kurt smiles and sighs happily. “This has been a perfect Christmas.”
“Oh, hey. Your CD is in the bedside table. I almost forgot.”
Kurt reaches over to open the drawer, trying to shift Blaine as little as possible, and finds the CD case by feel. He brings it close to his face and traces the big red heart with his finger. “Thank you so much Blaine.” He feels like his own heart is about to burst out if his chest, he’s full of so much love.
“What do you want to do now?” Blaine kisses his neck again.
“Can we spend the rest of the day in bed?”
Blaine laughs. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
“And then you can sing me my song again later.”
“Of course.”
“Merry Christmas Blaine.”
“Merry Christmas.”
---
Please consider spreading holiday cheer by commenting on and/or reblogging this fanfic! If you rec this fic, please be sure to attribute it to anonymous until the author/artist is revealed on January 3rd, 2011. Don’t forget to check out all of the other amazing works that will be posted throughout December!