Oh ho...so Pi knows huh??? SUnch a know it all leader... Omg, he sniffs Ryo's shoes haha he has a really good nose.. R and S should come out of the closet really soon..the know it all leader is right and tsk tsk, his poor face....R's shoes must hit him really hard... will waiting for more details..
P.S: I feel sad for the kitten...gosh, why did it die?
yes..they should but then i dont know what else to write so i will let them 'hide' for a little longer..just a little, very little i mean..ah, i dont know.
about the kitty, i found the kitten lying on the floor, at first i thought its already dead but then i saw it open its mouth like it was trying to breath. so i took it, try to warm it up but it was too late.
Just a suggestion...
anonymous
March 30 2008, 05:50:59 UTC
Hi - Thanks for writing and sharing what has been a very promising story so far. I dont know you, so Im not sure where you're from or if english is your native language. But since you're writing in english, Im assuming that it either is, or you're trying to get better at it.
In any case, it would really help both you and the fic, if you got a beta or proof reader to clean up the grammar. I say this not with the intention of being discouraging, but to tell you that your fic has the potential to be much better. Right now the grammar problems are extremely distracting and it will not help you grow as a writer if it remains unchecked.
Good luck. I really do hope you will keep writing, and get better at it.
Comments 10
Omg, he sniffs Ryo's shoes haha he has a really good nose..
R and S should come out of the closet really soon..the know it all leader is right
and tsk tsk, his poor face....R's shoes must hit him really hard...
will waiting for more details..
P.S: I feel sad for the kitten...gosh, why did it die?
Reply
about the kitty,
i found the kitten lying on the floor, at first i thought its already dead but then i saw it open its mouth like it was trying to breath. so i took it, try to warm it up but it was too late.
thank you for reading :)
Reply
I dont know you, so Im not sure where you're from or if english is your native language. But since you're writing in english, Im assuming that it either is, or you're trying to get better at it.
In any case, it would really help both you and the fic, if you got a beta or proof reader to clean up the grammar. I say this not with the intention of being discouraging, but to tell you that your fic has the potential to be much better. Right now the grammar problems are extremely distracting and it will not help you grow as a writer if it remains unchecked.
Good luck. I really do hope you will keep writing, and get better at it.
Hana
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Hmm..so that's the answer of all the bullying Ryo did to Shige huh... =D
Sorry for ur kitten :'(
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thank u..about the kitten :)
n thank you for reading :)
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wow...uchi was just used to make shige jealous...hahahahaha >__<
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thank you for your time :)
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