Disturbing discoveries.

[kazeno_taka]

Had an hour-long phone conversation with my aunt whom I rarely talk to.  She and my other aunt helped my stepfather take care of my mom in her last few years when the dementia was in its final stages.  Now...I should have known better to believe my stepfather when he criticized my aunts for being 'irresponsible' and 'not giving enough time to your

Comments

[corvus_animus]

I''m so glad you got a chance to speak to your aunt about this. I know it reopens old wounds, but I think communicating with other people that had to deal with him can really help in the healing process. You clearly know it's not you. I mean, you should know that intrinsically, but now you know that you didn't do anything to deserve how he treated you and that the problem is clearly HIM, not you. I hope this encounter with your aunt helps you heal family bonds and emotional scars.

*hugs* I would never, ever throw something I knew about you in your face. You are one of the best people I know and I admire you...plus, what on earth could I throw at you? OMG Brenda you like BIRDS, pssssshhhffft. ;)

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

[charreed]

:(

I somehow missed this entry entirely... Oh man, I never knew about Bob and for some reason, I never really realised your mom had passed away. I'm so sorry to hear about both in entirely different ways. People like that guy... Part of me wants to believe that people like that don't really exist. That they can't be real, because who can live like that?! Who can live every day trying to make everyone's life around them miserable? I'm so sorry you had to deal with that for so long. Ugh.

You may feel scarred from the experience, but you are definitely more than your previous experience. You are caring and thoughtful and kind and the exact OPPOSITE of everything that guy embodies. You're continuing to grow and change and better yourself in ways you don't even fully realise yet.

Just know that you can always write in your journal or chat or anything! I know I'll be here (better late than never!) and I know plenty of others who will be your free therapists/sounding board! <3

[cassander42]

I'm so sorry that you and your family have suffered from this monster, as Nym so correctly put it. I wish you the best of luck reconnecting with yout aunts and the rest of your family, but I think it's wise to stay as far away from this person as possible. I'm happy that you all have discovered these lies.

And if you ever need to talk or vent more, please feel free to talk to any of us.

[ladydove7]

Apparently insomnia makes me catch up LJ after years of absence here.

As someone who has dealt with a similar sort of degradation from a family member, all I really can say is that you are free of that person and I am very glad you have more reason to cut them out of your life without extended pressure from other family members. Anger is natural. Then you come to grips with who you are now and not who you were then. It's wonderful you're able to connect with your aunts in an unforeseen but ultimately enriching way. Having lost my Aunt recently, I am very much wishing I had done the same before she passed.

Such a late response from me, I know, but just wanted to say *something* even though this is old news by now.