Comments | kayliemalinza: TW freewrite: Spaghetti, 760 words

kayliemalinza

TW freewrite: Spaghetti, 760 words

Apr 02, 2009 15:48

I asked for prompts some time ago and Chaos suggested: "Something hurt/comforty. With spaghetti, since you mentioned it."

Well, I got the hurt! Not so much the rest, so soz. :/

( Spaghetti freewrite, 760 words )

freewrite, fic, torchwood, fic: pg-13

Comments 13

kelspots April 2 2009, 20:45:38 UTC

How so like Ianto to be paranoid about the material his suit is made of. And for some reason, that eczemic master fiber dying alien? In my head it was one of those mucus monster things from that one sinus medicine commercial.

kel_reiley April 3 2009, 01:44:39 UTC

o man, i hate those commercials

kayliemalinza April 3 2009, 16:59:07 UTC

I'm undecided as yet whether Ianto's paranoia is natural or chemically-induced, but it seemed perfectly logical for the dye of his suit to concern him. Yes. >>

Nah, nah, that mucus monster is like, the eczemic master dyer alien's loser brother. He really let himself go after high school and never made anything of himself, unlike the master dyer who studied hard on all his exams and apprenticed to a very good tradesmen. They try to keep in touch-- they're brothers, after all-- but things are a little tense and the mucus monster keeps asking if the master dyer knows of any good nostrils he could squat in. Sometimes it just feels like they don't have anything in common anymore. :(

kel_reiley April 3 2009, 01:45:18 UTC

this was kinda scary, yo
(but i like where it ended)

kayliemalinza April 3 2009, 17:02:01 UTC

I'm cackling that this scared you because it is, at the most basic level, a story about Ianto walking across a room. I'm going to be pleased without myself for 2 more minutes then I'll get back to writing, ok? :D

kel_reiley April 3 2009, 17:04:26 UTC

but it's all tense and there could be things in the dark!!

kayliemalinza April 3 2009, 17:09:55 UTC

things like boxes. with spaghetti! in them OMGOMGOMG. >D

Thread 5

tawabids April 3 2009, 05:38:33 UTC

YES YES the story was right to command you to end it there. That is where it needed to end even though I need very much to know more. NO! No more. Perfect.

Can you tell I really, really liked this? It's also exciting because I was having a good discussion with a RL friend about the nature of hurt/comfort and our paranoia about woobifying Ianto simply by the act of putting him in a hurt situation for our own gratification (ignoring the fact that surely all fic, and almost all literature, is surely written for gratification on some level), and if ever I needed proof that hurt =/= woobie, I think I would refer to this fic. There is nothing in it that demeans Ianto's strength of character despite its intense and total focus on his fears and physical hurt.

Oh christ, did I just analyse all over your ficlet? OH GOD I'M SORRY. I'll clean that up asap :(

kayliemalinza April 3 2009, 17:28:44 UTC

I am sad I didn't get to narrate the dramatic rain of spaghetti, but oh well. You make me lol so much, with your capslock and italics and everything. :P

I like your thoughts re: woobie objectification in H/C. Does it really just come down to the wherewithal of the writer to effectively distinguish between "being in pain" and "being a woobie," or is there a harder line somewhere? I think I cheated, personally, by not having a second character there treat Ianto as a woobie and having Ianto supply the comfort for himself.

Anyways, I'm going to repeat this sentence because I really like it: There is nothing in it that demeans Ianto's strength of character despite its intense and total focus on his fears and physical hurt.

Don't worry dearie, I've got plastic covers on all my fic just in case something like this happens. ^_^

Now I just have to figure out how I want to revise this. I keep waiting for one of my freewrites to undergo a transformation like The Love Philosophy of Oods but lately I've just been fixing typos. :/

tawabids April 4 2009, 04:54:18 UTC

You make me lol so much, with your capslock and italics and everything. :P

LOL. I totally and passionately disagree with those who say "all emotions on the internet should be expressed in prose" (and I've heard it said by professional writers and journalists). NO! It's crazy and unnatural to expect people to communicate entirely in words, without all the nuances of tone, physical mannerisms, facial expressions, verbal pacing and countless other methods of conversation other than the precise words a person uses. Emoticons, font emphasis, punctuation, acronyms, jargon and spacing are all vital to get a message across via the internet. Otherwise we'd constantly be misunderstanding each other and a lot more flame wars would occur.

Also, I do use italics and capslock too much. BUT ONLY WHEN I'M EXCITED!

Does it really just come down to the wherewithal of the writer to effectively distinguish between "being in pain" and "being a woobie," or is there a harder line somewhere?I doubt it re: harder line. One fan's "well-written h/c" is ( ... )

kayliemalinza April 4 2009, 18:38:32 UTC

WHO THE FUCK SAYS THAT BECAUSE THEY ARE DUMB AND FUSTY.

Skin of a rhino, lol. Is that projecting, maybe? I know that I'm very picky about when I express pain and I lose respect for people who (imo) are whiny about it or can't handle it quietly. I'm talking about small stuff like stubbing a toe, obv., as I have not been around anyone who's broken a limb or something equally serious.

Hmm. I think I have an idea. >>
Not involving soft white hospital beds, sadly, although your little scenario there was like a red flag to a bull.

"...and as everything went dark, his heart beating with love, Ianto knew that either his life had come to a close at a time of true contentment, or that someone had leaned on the light switch.
BWAH!

Thread 5