Comments | kayliemalinza: TW Fic: Waltzing the Bruise, the Mechanism Unspools: a Jack/Ianto date fic

kayliemalinza

TW Fic: Waltzing the Bruise, the Mechanism Unspools: a Jack/Ianto date fic

Sep 02, 2008 05:30

Title: Waltzing the Bruise, the Mechanism Unspools: a Jack/Ianto date fic
Author: kayliemalinza
Word Count: 3,783
Rating: PG/PG-13 for implied sex
Setting: Season Two; Episodes "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang," "Sleeper," "To The Last Man," and "Meat." The passage of time is marked by quotations from those episodes in bold.
Beta: The splendiferous, patient, squeeful, brilliant ( Read more... )

tw: jack/ianto, fic, tw: s2, torchwood, fic: pg-13, recc'd

Comments 57

misswinterhill September 2 2008, 10:06:49 UTC

This is such a beautiful story. The progression of closeness between the two of them moves with a heady pace that seems just right. The images that you've used are so wonderful; my favourite was Ianto thinking of the taste of honey. Thanks for posting it - I really enjoyed it!

kayliemalinza September 2 2008, 10:10:08 UTC

Thanks so much! I was concerned about the pacing and imagery; I'm glad they worked for you!

hab318princess September 2 2008, 10:30:22 UTC

I have read this twice and you are right, I caught so much more the second time round. It's absolutely beautiful, captures them so well and who cares about pretentious.

This is a beautiful work of art and I hope there will be more.

kayliemalinza September 2 2008, 10:34:17 UTC

Eeee! Thanks so much for this comment, and for reading the story twice! "who cares about pretentious"-- That's what my beta told me, and I'm glad she did.

I am working on more TW fic, but I tend to vacillate between omg srs and funny/crack. We'll see what I get finished next. ^^

hab318princess September 2 2008, 11:22:02 UTC

you are welcome,

what is srs?

kayliemalinza September 2 2008, 11:23:02 UTC

srs = serious :P

Thread 5

pinkfairy727 September 2 2008, 12:17:25 UTC

This is just brilliant! It's gorgeous and I love the way their relationship progresses. It's quite realistic as well.

This is one of the best stories I've read it a long time!

kayliemalinza September 2 2008, 12:37:35 UTC

Thanks so much!

anonymous September 2 2008, 12:50:02 UTC

*shudders at mention of Norton Anthology* I already own a few of them and I'm back in college soon so I'll end up buying more and I wish some of the stuff we read was as enjoyable as this. I vote we let it in as it deserves it ( ... )

kayliemalinza September 3 2008, 04:14:26 UTC

There should be a Norton's anthology of fanfic. One day. One day. ::shakes fist::

I love the push and pull feel between them
Yes! Push and pull! I'm so happy you picked up on that. ^_^

I love playing with physicality between Jack and Ianto-- particularly since they have so little of it in canon (Ianto is a rather reserved person, physically, and it's fun to see when and how that breaks.)

Thanks so much for the feedback!

amyross September 2 2008, 17:20:42 UTC

I'm not sure I would have said the format was pretentious. I wouldn't care if it was, but I don't think it is. We're all drowning in writing these days, so anything that attempts to pull away from an established norm is potentially pretentious. It doesn't matter; the only thing that counts is whether it works for your story, and this absolutely does.

This is wonderful. I'm not sure I've ever seen present-tense writing work so well. The imagery, characterisation and dialogue are all spot-on.

I love your interpretation. In a lot of ways it's very close to my own. Particularly the issues around "Meat" and the potential problems the episode creates. I've argued that a lack of obsessive protectiveness ultimately shows trust and respect, and you've drawn that out really well.

Oh, and the bit with the list. It's not the fact that he does this (let's face it, who hasn't done something like this, at least once, or at least mentally?) but the fact that he quite willingly owns up to it ( ... )

kayliemalinza September 3 2008, 18:55:57 UTC

I think people have a lot of different tolerances for weird formatting-- one of my best friends could barely get through this-- so I figured I'd warn for it. ::shrug:: And if I'm self-mocking, people are more forgiving?

I confess, I'm highly enamored of present tense. It cuts out a lot of unnecessary syllables, for one thing.

::nodnod:: My beta and I ended up talking about the Jack/Ianto relationship a lot, and I scoured torchwood_three for meta posts. Basically, I feel like Ianto is the one in charge, and he holds Jack and himself up to a higher level of professionalism and practicality.

Ahahaha, Jack is definitely self-mocking and aware, so I figure Ianto should get a turn at it, too. ^_^

the moments where everything just about joins up, and the little moments where their best just isn't enough. Oh god, yeah. Some parts of this were hard to write because it *hurt.*

Never apologize for a long comment! Not on my journal, at least! (Seriously, I've had to split comments I've made to order_of_chaos because they were over the character limit. Often several ( ... )