I just wrote 1,756 words in an hour.
And here they are!
Fandom: Torchwood
Untitled as of yet; working title is spoilery.
Chapter 1
Rating: R for swear words
Genre: humour! :D
Summary: Jack and Gwen meet a very interesting person while chasing an alien. Is not as lame as summary makes it sound. A better summary would be too spoilery.
Teaser: "Step off, you fucking monster!" The voice was reedy, stretched with stress, and undoubtedly Welsh.
A/N: Chaos, you know what this story is, you just don't know it yet.
Chapter One
Jack's coat flaps slapped thickly against the night air. He hoped the Rift Gift-animal, vegetable, or mineral?-wouldn't spook at the sound and flee, or worse, jump to the ready. A moment later the question was academic: the crooked alleys echoed a crescendo of throaty clicking, a brief howl, a sudden snort and snuffle. Something thumped. Something... cursed.
"Step off, you fucking monster!" The voice was reedy, stretched with stress, and undoubtedly Welsh.
Jack careened around the final corner with his gun straight-armed, aiming for the biggest mass. Something with three and a half legs and terrifying silhouette. The lamplight flickered yellow on the soft-lipped snout. "Got a Domax here!" Jack yelled. "You there! Step back!"
"Which of us are you talking to?" shouted the reedy voice.
Jack barely glanced at that corner of the alley intersection, just enough to see that the other being involved was small and wearing late 20th or early 21st century clothes; jeans and a t-shirt were not terribly specific. He already knew it spoke English.
"I'm talking to the big thing with the teeth," Jack gritted out. "But you should get out of the way."
The Domax swiveled its head from Jack to the probably-human and scratched four great claws on the ground. It uttered something low and phlegmy.
"Just settle down," Jack said, one hand peeling away from the gun to wave at the Domax in a not-quite-universal shushing gesture. Gwen's voice came softly through his ear.
"Jack, I'm coming up on the other side of the alley. What's the plan?"
"No bullets," said Jack, stepping slowly to the left and then the right, keeping the Domax non-threatened but focused on him. "You have a stun gun?"
"Affirmative," said Gwen.
"Why the hell would I have a stun gun?" said the probably-human.
Jack gave it another glance. "I wasn't talking to you," he said, modifying his assessment to 'probably-human-boy.' "What the hell are you doing in dark alleys at eleven at night?"
"I'm not a baby," scowled the probably-human-boy. He sounded as if he were scowling, anyway; Jack was still watching the Domax.
"I can see you now," Gwen crackled in his ear. "On three. One...."
"Hey, Domax," Jack said loudly. "Are you lost or something? We can help you out, buddy. We have a nice, warm cell all ready for you."
"Two...."
"Well, warmish," said Jack.
The Domax curled its upper lip at Jack, then suddenly swung its heavy head toward the probably-human-boy. Jack shouted and jumped forward; the probably-human-boy shrieked and jumped back, swinging something; Gwen shouted "Three!" (Jack felt that was unnecessary at this point) and leapt from the mouth of the alley, zapping the Domax with her stun gun. The Domax grunted, sizzled slightly, and thudded in spasms to the ground. The probably-human-boy shrieked again and smacked the Domax a few times on the head with a broken fence post.
"You can stop that now," said Jack.
Gwen holstered her stun gun and hopped over the Domax's outflung arm. "Sweetheart, it's alright," she said, grabbing for the fence post. "It's all over now."
The probably-human-boy let her toss away the fence post-it landed with a muted thunk, like it was rotted-but twisted away when she tried to touch him.
"You stay there," Jack said sharply. He kept his eye on the probably-human-boy long enough to see that he was complying, then went to study the Domax. He prodded it in the side with his boot, then regretted it. Domax sweat tended to ooze thickly through their fur, and stained. Jack poked his comm. "Owen, you'll need to bring the car around. This guy's pretty big."
"Are you hurt?" Gwen was saying.
"I'm fine now," said the probably-human-boy, sounding shaky. "What is that?"
"Well," said Gwen, "it's a, um. It escaped from a traveling zoo."
"What the fuck kind of zoo has that?" said the probably-human-boy, pointing.
"Don't use that kind of language," said Gwen.
"It's an alien," said Jack.
The probably-human-boy gave Jack a rather perfect look of suspicion and surreptitious belief. Now that Jack could see him a little better, lit half-way by the streetlamp, the kid seemed familiar-a bit lanky, soft and unformed around the mouth. Jack wondered if he went to a lot of games at the Millennium Centre, and Jack had seen him in the Plass.
Gwen's perfect look was exasperation-flavoured. "Jack," she hissed.
Jack shrugged and went over to pick up the fence post. "We'll have to Retcon him anyway."
"Like from outer space?" said the probably-human-boy, now promoted to 'kid' because it was shorter, and he had given Jack sass. Kids were always giving Jack sass.
"Jack, for God's sake, he's ten years old!" Gwen said.
"I'm twelve!" said the kid.
"We have ways of checking that, you know," said Jack.
The kid narrowed his eyes.
Jack smirked and poked the Domax with the fence post. Hard.
"Fine," said the kid. "I'm eleven. And three months!"
"Ok, sweetie," said Gwen. She reached to squeeze his shoulder, then turned it into a pat when the kid gave her a startled look. "Don't worry, we're going to get you home safe. Do you live around here?" She sounded a little unhappy at the end of that sentence, because 'around here' was crumbling, slicked wet with sewage, and hadn't been zoned as a residential area for over ten years.
The kid swiveled to look around the surrounding buildings, hands on his hips. "I thought I did," he said. "But.... it's probably a few streets over." He bit his lip and looked back at Gwen. "My father has a tailor shop on Salop Road," he said. "Why is there an alien here?"
"It fell through a rift in time and space," said Jack.
"We'll take you back to your parents," said Gwen.
"After the Retcon," said Jack.
Gwen glared.
"You're shitting me," said the kid.
"Language," warned Jack. "Owen, we could use that ride sooner rather than later."
"I'm almost there," Owen buzzed. "Not my fault these alleys are barely wide enough to fit a bicycle through."
"He has an imaginary friend named Owen?" the kid asked Gwen, a little too solicitously.
Jack waggled the fence post at him. "You better watch yourself, young man," he said.
The kid looked up at him for a moment, then held out his hand expectantly.
Jack gave him the fence post. He'd found it, after all. "Have a poke," said Jack. "Once in a lifetime experience."
The kid crouched down and used the pointiest (most splintered) end of the fence post to lift up the floppy, blue-veined upper lip. "You called this a Domax?" he asked, scraping lightly at the pearlescent teeth.
"Yep," said Jack. "Omnivorous creature from a planet with bright yellow oceans. They're generally easy-going; you must have pissed him off somehow."
"Jack?" That was Tosh.
"Go ahead," said Jack, and smirked at the confused look the kid gave him.
"Did you find anything with the Domax?" she asked. "An artifact, perhaps?"
"No, why?" asked Jack, looking at the Domax's rear legs. The claws were twitching, a sign that it might wake up soon. "Should we be looking for one?"
"Seriously," said the kid. "Who the fuck is he talking to?"
"He has a Bluetooth," said Gwen. "I've got one, too."
"A what?"
Jack could hear the quiet beeping of Tosh's computer. "I'm not sure," she said. Her voice went quiet for a second as she murmured what sounded like, "Ianto, hand me those...." There was some rustling, and she came back. "I'm looking at the Rift spike readings from the past few minutes. There's a second, smaller spike I didn't notice before. It was hidden in the Rift energy that brought the Domax."
Jack took a quick glance around the alley. "Ok, we'll have a look around. Try and scrub out as much detail as you can."
Gwen was trying to explain something, but the kid was getting fancy with his eyebrows. "First it's aliens," he said. "Now you're saying there's cell phones small enough to fit in your ear?"
White lights phased across the Domax and the humans, and the SUV trundled into the alley. Owen's expletives upon realizing there wasn't quite enough room to open the door were swift and creative.
"Don't ding my paint!" yelled Jack.
"We'll get the Teaboy to fix it!" Owen yelled back, clambering over the seat divider to come out through the passenger side. "Is that the thing we've been chasing?"
"No," said Gwen. "It's the thing Jack and I been chasing."
"Are you going to stick the Domax in the back of your car?" asked the kid.
"Who the hell are you?" said Owen. He looked at Gwen. "Who the hell is this?"
Tosh's computer whined excitedly. Jack wondered if she programmed it to do that, just to be more dramatic. "Find something?" he said dryly.
"Yes," she said. "That second spike of Rift energy? It's a temporal rift only."
"So something was moved through time, but stayed in the same place," said Jack.
The kid looked consideringly at the front end of the SUV. "You're going to have to drive out and then turn around and back into the alley," he said. "Otherwise you'll never get the Domax in there."
"Who asked you?" said Owen. "Seriously, Gwen, we can't go around picking up strays."
"Owen, he's right," said Jack.
Owen glared at Jack, then at the Domax, then at the SUV. "Fuck," he said, and stomped back to the driver's seat.
"So he's Owen, and you're Gwen," said the kid. "And he's-"
"Captain Jack Harkness," said Jack, and held out his hand. The kid had a pretty good shake, despite being only eleven years and three months old and kind of skinny. "You? Hang on a minute. Say that again, Tosh?"
Tosh huffed. "I said, the second artifact should be very close to where you found the Domax. Almost right on top of it."
"Okay," said Jack. "Hey, Gwen? Look around for something that looks like it might be from the past or the future-"
"Past," said Tosh.
"Are you sure?" asked Jack.
"Ninety-nine point twelve percent," said Tosh. "Or thereabouts."
"Ok, works for me," said Jack. "Gwen, we're looking for something that might have come from the past, but still from Cardiff. Tosh says it should be close."
Gwen nodded and started walking about the alley, edging carefully by the front of the SUV as Owen eased it out in reverse.
The kid was still holding Jack's hand, so Jack shook it again. "Sorry about that," he said. "Captain Jack Harkness. And you are?"
"Jones," said the kid. "Ianto Jones."
Chapter Two
Fandom: Torchwood
Untitled as of yet; working title is spoilery.
Chapter 1
Rating: R for swear words
Genre: humour! :D
Summary: Jack and Gwen meet a very interesting person while chasing an alien. Is not as lame as summary makes it sound. A better summary would be too spoilery.
Teaser: "Step off, you fucking monster!" The voice was reedy, stretched with stress, and undoubtedly Welsh.
A/N: Chaos, you know what this story is, you just don't know it yet.
Chapter One
Jack's coat flaps slapped thickly against the night air. He hoped the Rift Gift-animal, vegetable, or mineral?-wouldn't spook at the sound and flee, or worse, jump to the ready. A moment later the question was academic: the crooked alleys echoed a crescendo of throaty clicking, a brief howl, a sudden snort and snuffle. Something thumped. Something... cursed.
"Step off, you fucking monster!" The voice was reedy, stretched with stress, and undoubtedly Welsh.
Jack careened around the final corner with his gun straight-armed, aiming for the biggest mass. Something with three and a half legs and terrifying silhouette. The lamplight flickered yellow on the soft-lipped snout. "Got a Domax here!" Jack yelled. "You there! Step back!"
"Which of us are you talking to?" shouted the reedy voice.
Jack barely glanced at that corner of the alley intersection, just enough to see that the other being involved was small and wearing late 20th or early 21st century clothes; jeans and a t-shirt were not terribly specific. He already knew it spoke English.
"I'm talking to the big thing with the teeth," Jack gritted out. "But you should get out of the way."
The Domax swiveled its head from Jack to the probably-human and scratched four great claws on the ground. It uttered something low and phlegmy.
"Just settle down," Jack said, one hand peeling away from the gun to wave at the Domax in a not-quite-universal shushing gesture. Gwen's voice came softly through his ear.
"Jack, I'm coming up on the other side of the alley. What's the plan?"
"No bullets," said Jack, stepping slowly to the left and then the right, keeping the Domax non-threatened but focused on him. "You have a stun gun?"
"Affirmative," said Gwen.
"Why the hell would I have a stun gun?" said the probably-human.
Jack gave it another glance. "I wasn't talking to you," he said, modifying his assessment to 'probably-human-boy.' "What the hell are you doing in dark alleys at eleven at night?"
"I'm not a baby," scowled the probably-human-boy. He sounded as if he were scowling, anyway; Jack was still watching the Domax.
"I can see you now," Gwen crackled in his ear. "On three. One...."
"Hey, Domax," Jack said loudly. "Are you lost or something? We can help you out, buddy. We have a nice, warm cell all ready for you."
"Two...."
"Well, warmish," said Jack.
The Domax curled its upper lip at Jack, then suddenly swung its heavy head toward the probably-human-boy. Jack shouted and jumped forward; the probably-human-boy shrieked and jumped back, swinging something; Gwen shouted "Three!" (Jack felt that was unnecessary at this point) and leapt from the mouth of the alley, zapping the Domax with her stun gun. The Domax grunted, sizzled slightly, and thudded in spasms to the ground. The probably-human-boy shrieked again and smacked the Domax a few times on the head with a broken fence post.
"You can stop that now," said Jack.
Gwen holstered her stun gun and hopped over the Domax's outflung arm. "Sweetheart, it's alright," she said, grabbing for the fence post. "It's all over now."
The probably-human-boy let her toss away the fence post-it landed with a muted thunk, like it was rotted-but twisted away when she tried to touch him.
"You stay there," Jack said sharply. He kept his eye on the probably-human-boy long enough to see that he was complying, then went to study the Domax. He prodded it in the side with his boot, then regretted it. Domax sweat tended to ooze thickly through their fur, and stained. Jack poked his comm. "Owen, you'll need to bring the car around. This guy's pretty big."
"Are you hurt?" Gwen was saying.
"I'm fine now," said the probably-human-boy, sounding shaky. "What is that?"
"Well," said Gwen, "it's a, um. It escaped from a traveling zoo."
"What the fuck kind of zoo has that?" said the probably-human-boy, pointing.
"Don't use that kind of language," said Gwen.
"It's an alien," said Jack.
The probably-human-boy gave Jack a rather perfect look of suspicion and surreptitious belief. Now that Jack could see him a little better, lit half-way by the streetlamp, the kid seemed familiar-a bit lanky, soft and unformed around the mouth. Jack wondered if he went to a lot of games at the Millennium Centre, and Jack had seen him in the Plass.
Gwen's perfect look was exasperation-flavoured. "Jack," she hissed.
Jack shrugged and went over to pick up the fence post. "We'll have to Retcon him anyway."
"Like from outer space?" said the probably-human-boy, now promoted to 'kid' because it was shorter, and he had given Jack sass. Kids were always giving Jack sass.
"Jack, for God's sake, he's ten years old!" Gwen said.
"I'm twelve!" said the kid.
"We have ways of checking that, you know," said Jack.
The kid narrowed his eyes.
Jack smirked and poked the Domax with the fence post. Hard.
"Fine," said the kid. "I'm eleven. And three months!"
"Ok, sweetie," said Gwen. She reached to squeeze his shoulder, then turned it into a pat when the kid gave her a startled look. "Don't worry, we're going to get you home safe. Do you live around here?" She sounded a little unhappy at the end of that sentence, because 'around here' was crumbling, slicked wet with sewage, and hadn't been zoned as a residential area for over ten years.
The kid swiveled to look around the surrounding buildings, hands on his hips. "I thought I did," he said. "But.... it's probably a few streets over." He bit his lip and looked back at Gwen. "My father has a tailor shop on Salop Road," he said. "Why is there an alien here?"
"It fell through a rift in time and space," said Jack.
"We'll take you back to your parents," said Gwen.
"After the Retcon," said Jack.
Gwen glared.
"You're shitting me," said the kid.
"Language," warned Jack. "Owen, we could use that ride sooner rather than later."
"I'm almost there," Owen buzzed. "Not my fault these alleys are barely wide enough to fit a bicycle through."
"He has an imaginary friend named Owen?" the kid asked Gwen, a little too solicitously.
Jack waggled the fence post at him. "You better watch yourself, young man," he said.
The kid looked up at him for a moment, then held out his hand expectantly.
Jack gave him the fence post. He'd found it, after all. "Have a poke," said Jack. "Once in a lifetime experience."
The kid crouched down and used the pointiest (most splintered) end of the fence post to lift up the floppy, blue-veined upper lip. "You called this a Domax?" he asked, scraping lightly at the pearlescent teeth.
"Yep," said Jack. "Omnivorous creature from a planet with bright yellow oceans. They're generally easy-going; you must have pissed him off somehow."
"Jack?" That was Tosh.
"Go ahead," said Jack, and smirked at the confused look the kid gave him.
"Did you find anything with the Domax?" she asked. "An artifact, perhaps?"
"No, why?" asked Jack, looking at the Domax's rear legs. The claws were twitching, a sign that it might wake up soon. "Should we be looking for one?"
"Seriously," said the kid. "Who the fuck is he talking to?"
"He has a Bluetooth," said Gwen. "I've got one, too."
"A what?"
Jack could hear the quiet beeping of Tosh's computer. "I'm not sure," she said. Her voice went quiet for a second as she murmured what sounded like, "Ianto, hand me those...." There was some rustling, and she came back. "I'm looking at the Rift spike readings from the past few minutes. There's a second, smaller spike I didn't notice before. It was hidden in the Rift energy that brought the Domax."
Jack took a quick glance around the alley. "Ok, we'll have a look around. Try and scrub out as much detail as you can."
Gwen was trying to explain something, but the kid was getting fancy with his eyebrows. "First it's aliens," he said. "Now you're saying there's cell phones small enough to fit in your ear?"
White lights phased across the Domax and the humans, and the SUV trundled into the alley. Owen's expletives upon realizing there wasn't quite enough room to open the door were swift and creative.
"Don't ding my paint!" yelled Jack.
"We'll get the Teaboy to fix it!" Owen yelled back, clambering over the seat divider to come out through the passenger side. "Is that the thing we've been chasing?"
"No," said Gwen. "It's the thing Jack and I been chasing."
"Are you going to stick the Domax in the back of your car?" asked the kid.
"Who the hell are you?" said Owen. He looked at Gwen. "Who the hell is this?"
Tosh's computer whined excitedly. Jack wondered if she programmed it to do that, just to be more dramatic. "Find something?" he said dryly.
"Yes," she said. "That second spike of Rift energy? It's a temporal rift only."
"So something was moved through time, but stayed in the same place," said Jack.
The kid looked consideringly at the front end of the SUV. "You're going to have to drive out and then turn around and back into the alley," he said. "Otherwise you'll never get the Domax in there."
"Who asked you?" said Owen. "Seriously, Gwen, we can't go around picking up strays."
"Owen, he's right," said Jack.
Owen glared at Jack, then at the Domax, then at the SUV. "Fuck," he said, and stomped back to the driver's seat.
"So he's Owen, and you're Gwen," said the kid. "And he's-"
"Captain Jack Harkness," said Jack, and held out his hand. The kid had a pretty good shake, despite being only eleven years and three months old and kind of skinny. "You? Hang on a minute. Say that again, Tosh?"
Tosh huffed. "I said, the second artifact should be very close to where you found the Domax. Almost right on top of it."
"Okay," said Jack. "Hey, Gwen? Look around for something that looks like it might be from the past or the future-"
"Past," said Tosh.
"Are you sure?" asked Jack.
"Ninety-nine point twelve percent," said Tosh. "Or thereabouts."
"Ok, works for me," said Jack. "Gwen, we're looking for something that might have come from the past, but still from Cardiff. Tosh says it should be close."
Gwen nodded and started walking about the alley, edging carefully by the front of the SUV as Owen eased it out in reverse.
The kid was still holding Jack's hand, so Jack shook it again. "Sorry about that," he said. "Captain Jack Harkness. And you are?"
"Jones," said the kid. "Ianto Jones."
Chapter Two