Orig!Fic: Cat Night (Now, with Bonus Rant!)

[kayliemalinza]

Here is a story from The Odious Fiction Class of Excessive Bull-Shittery, since it was quoted in the 20 First Sentences Meme (#13) and Vivi liked it. Not flocked because where the fuck am I going to publish this? It's far too close to the short story I was assigned to imitate. Seriously. Basically the same plot and style, except in the original,

Comments

[order_of_chaos]

To quote the actual story:

That's really weird.

I mean it. It's creepy.

And speaking as teh internetz:

Oh, wow. Vivid. Creepy. Especially the cat-as-bondage bit - I liked that, I think. Not sure I quite got the ending.

[kayliemalinza]

I seem to have a handle on creepy. :/

The ending is straight from the original-- the creepy, overly-developed baby rescues its parents with a tiny pink baby fire extinguisher, and the parents decide that OH EVERYTHING IS OK NOW, completely forgetting any kind of (slight) conflict that had been set up earlier in the story. Granted, that fit in a bit with the social commentary underlining the original-- ("D-Age" by some author, can't remember who) but it was still heavily laced with WTF.

I guess if I completely changed the ending it would move farther away from plagiarism, but the writing style is awfully hard to maintain, for the author and the reader.

I like the bit with the teacups, though. I'll need to reuse that somewhere. ^_^

P.S. But WAIT! If you order now, you'll not only receive TWO pairs of Strap Cat manacles, we'll throw in this pair of kitten-sized Chinese finger traps ABSOLUTELY FREE!

[order_of_chaos]

I seem to have a handle on creepy. :/
That's a good thing, really. And your creepiness is full of depth and nuances and stuff :P

Mmmm, teacups. Yep.

YES! PLEASE SEND ALIEN BONDAGE CAT POSTHASTE.

Converting concept to Who-fandom: I'm picturing it slinky-silky black, almost more fur than cat but slightly heavier than one would normally expect of something with that fur-to-cat ratio. Mildly telepathic in that when acting as bondage-gear it disconnects the part of the brain that would enable the person bound to struggle successfully. Level of sentience debatable. Generally not malicious.

[captain_bookcat]

ooooh. the repetitive pretentiousness is, yes, annoying, but I like the rest. creepy-ass cat is creepy and awesome. :D

(it randomly ate an alien? did I get that right? I thought the lover was an alien for a bit. that would have been fun.)

can NOT even imagine how the story would have been with a baby--a cat makes so much more sense. cats can generally be spooky and mysterious without it being too weird. scary babies belong in the twilight zone and bad horror, plzkthx.

did the baby eat an alien?

[captain_bookcat]

also: I totally like your rant, and OMG thanks for posting it! :D

[captain_bookcat]

the story, I mean. the rant too, but I meant the story. :P

[possibly_thrice]

I didn't find this that creepy! But I did enjoy it massively, poetic prose especially, so, idk, maybe I was reading a different story from the one you are talking about. :')